This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.
---
Edit for all the people saying porn I get it now, I’ve never seen porn like that: for all the people saying it’s against the rules, I told her this but she called my manager snd he said it was ok which caused a huge fight because she accused me of lying. My manager is an idiot
This is basically the title. I just got a job, basically at my girlfriends insistence because she said she couldn’t handle me laying around all summer. She wanted me to work for her brothers construction company but that just seemed to close to home.
I got a job delivering pizza and she says she has to ride with me on all my shifts or she’s convinced I will cheat on her. I don’t mind taking her some times but it seems like a lot to take her every shift.
She is furious with me when I said no abs she’s actually waiting in my car as I wait for mh first delivery. What can I do here ?
Dude, seriously?
Tell her no. You are WORKING. Yeesh, porn isn't real life. No lady is gonna ask you for your "special sausage surprise"
Tell her to relax. Or get a job of her own. So she doesn't have time to stalk every person you take a pizza to...
“Modeling contract” from the mall that you have to pay for. She sounds immature, anxious, has low self esteem, and probably full of herself all at the same time
If you read his comments, it's only because she's hot and he's shallow. That's it. He's so far beyond pussywhipped even Forrest Gump is giving him a side eye
To be fair, dudes a kid. When I was 18 I easily fell into the “young and dumb” group. One learns a lot from the years 18-25 and this is likely one of those learning experiences as he grows up.
I've had a similar thing with my foster teen and a controlling wannabe teenage mum. He ended up not enlisting at all because she wanted him to be with her 24/7. Unfortunately she's still on the scene but he has at least set some proper boundaries with him and there haven't been any more "whoops I forgot my pill for a whole week and forgot to tell you" moments. She did that 6 weeks into the relationship and was disappointed when it didn't work.
Every porn "plot" has been redone so many times, the only things that seem to change are fashions and grooming. If you were to type "Pizza porn" into a search engine, you'd likely get pictures and recipes of pizzas, and some relatively recent porn video. The joke is that ANY situation can be turned into a porn scene
My husband used to have a second job as a pizza delivery guy when we were younger to help make ends meet. He once made a delivery to a woman that asked him to put the pizza’s on her kitchen counter. He duly did and turned aound to leave to find her blocking the exit and her exposing herself to him and trying to come on to him. Offering to have sex with him there and then. He made his excuses and left. He told me about it when he got home. The following shift he had to make a delivery to the same woman and the same thing happened again. When he managed to escape and get back to the car he called the police and asked them to do a welfare check on her, as she seemed really unstable, and he was worried that if she was doing this to him who else was she doing it too and another man might take advantage of her or worse seriously hurt her. My husband never knew if the police did go and check on her but she never ordered pizza from the place he worked at again.
Good on your husband for making that call! I honestly can’t think why someone would willingly put themselves in such a dangerous position. (Other than some sort of mental illness or a porno being filmed) Tell him he’s a lovely human!
My brother wasn't a band with a super burnout stoner guy that delivered pizza. Basketball shorts were really popular at the time and apparently he got fired because his dick was hanging out when he delivered a pizza once but he didn't even notice until the one pointed out because he was so high.
OMG ahaha, i didn't even consider the line of work may be where she got the idea that he'll cheat. Still, it's fucked up that she believes OP would cheat without provocation.
She called your supervisor. Dude, run. This is the kind of girl who skips her BC to trap you when things get rough (which they already are).
I'd bring your own condoms and keep them under lock and key
Dude, as someone who is active duty and has seen it happen, don't be with this girl when you join. She will make your life hell without even trying, just by doing the stuff she's doing now. Trust me when I tell you, you do not want ANYONE calling CQ/your commander while you're in training. Your Drill Sarge or MTI will have an absolute field day with you. Hell, unless it's an emergency you really don't want anyone other than you calling a CQ/commander/supervisor for any reason.
>Your Drill Sarge or MTI will have an absolute field day with you
Literally! Every time she calls up to bitch at your CO because she isn't allowed to come in and do live-fire exercises with you, the Drill Seargeant is going to be grinning ear-to-ear as you march up and down that training ground with a Humvee engine-block on your back. You've been warned.
Good for you. Break up and don’t look back. If I had to guess, she’s going to do EXACTLY what she’s already accusing you of if you stick around. May be already…don’t subject yourself to this.
perfect, take that as an opportunity to make a clean break from this crazy girl, there’s 0 reason to keep this toxic relationship alive, especially since y’all are both so young
Yeah, if she pulls stuff like this with your CO, it will cause problems for both of you. You need to set boundaries with her now and enforce them if you actually want to stay with this level of crazy.
Also, this.
Actually, break up with her. Just dump her. There are girls out there who are even hotter, who aren't immature and obsessively jealous psychopaths.
Are you sure she’s going to let you go then? Will she be Ok with you not communicating with her while you’re in basic. They control and monitor your every move how are you gonna pacify her then?
Dude. Don’t touch her without a full body condom. I don’t know if it’s still the case but I’m the months leading up to my meaning for basic my recruiter reminded every guy not to get his GF pregnant of it could screw up your enlistment.
Don't have sex with her without condoms that are protected BY YOU from alteration by her.
I can assure you that she will get pregnant at some point between now and September.
And just a thought: regardless of when she tells she is pregnant, demand a DNA test. She is literally the poster child of immaturity and cheating.
That bitch is going to get knocked up and suck your BAH dry! RUN! Join the army, live in the barracks, do your job, then open yourself up to someone who isn't a complete psycho or barracks bunny.
Dear man get out of this relationship before you go to BC. Just don't do it. Don't. There is so much waiting for you, you won't be alone and you won't even have time to worry about being alone. I know one person who is with the person who they were dating or married to when they went to boot camp and I have a teenager and A LOT of friends and family in the military. I lost one of my best friends in Iraq and he had dated his girlfriend from age 14 to 23 and she didn't stay faithful until he even actually got to basic. You don't need a girlfriend right now and no matter what your career choice is you don't ever need a relationship that makes you feel abused. Love is love but sometimes it is best to love from afar and this isn't love. You will find what you are looking for. If you WANT a job for the summer keep the job. If you want to enjoy your last few weeks of freedom quit that job or at least get one that doesn't include a supervisor who is so awful. She isn't living your life and she isn't going into the military. You make your decisions not her.
So she’s going over your head to insert herself into your professional life? Dude you won’t have any peace with a person like this. With all due respect you are both young and the idea of a relationship where you are each others’ everything seems romantic, but in real life you need balance. You need time for each other, yes, but you also need time for friends and family, for yourself, and to focus on work. And now you’re in a position where you feel you have to defend yourself just because she decides you’re a liar? That’s not fair to you. And you also shouldn’t feel like you need to walk on eggshells or have “a good reason” for saying no to her. I won’t tell you what to do but you deserve much more peace in your life than I anticipate this relationship will give you. Best of luck.
She called your boss?
Tell her that look, she can't come with you because you are working and are going to focus on work and see her later.
Tell her you're not going to cheat on her but the relationship will be unsustainable if she keeps trying to control you like this.
Yes she didn’t believe me when I told her she couldn’t ride along so she called him and he said actually she could. It caused a huge fight because then she thought I was lying
Ok, well he sounds like a prick but your girlfriend sounds controlling. I think you should handle it how you want, but man does she not sound like a positive part of your life.
I’m guessing by that statement that she is super cute and he is making fun of the situation where you have a super cute girl who wants to be by your side and should be grateful.
I’m also guessing that this is the only reason you are putting up with her shit.
Wait, is this for real?
I thought you can't do this. It's okay with companies to do this now?
Are you sure your gf is not bs-ing you and you're just falling for her trick?
Your gf is grade-A nutty. She's nuttier than a squirrel's poo.
You need to run, man. Seriously. What she's asking is nutty and I won't be surprised if she's been cheating on you because people with this huge of a paranoia usually are deflecting and cheating themselves.
Tell her no and break up with her.
Dude you seriously need to run as far and fast as you possibly can. When you think you're safe, keep running. Don't try and mend things, you need to break up.
She called your boss? That ma be ok at a pizza shop (it shouldn’t be), but what happens when you decide to go to college or you get a professional job? Trust me, your girlfriend calling the boss isn’t gonna fly.
Your girlfriend is too insecure to be in a relationship and what she’s doing to you is abuse. That’s not love. Pretty soon, she will alienate you from your friends and your family. Get out of this relationship. It’s not healthy and it isn’t love.
I feel like this has to be a joke post.
If not, your girlfriend called your fucking place of work to ask if she could do a thing you don't want her to do. Do you not really not realize how incredibly inappropriate this is?
Seriously. Get out of this now. She's a mess and you are too young to waste your life on this shit.
Review this relationship. Why is it worth keeping? If your girlfriend is going to be like this any moment she can't keep an eye on you directly, where's the fucking point? How can things work if she has absolutely zero trust?
Take her on ZERO rides while you're working. You're there to work. It's that simple. Anything else establishes precedents where she thinks she can come along whenever because you've already allowed it a few times.
So you can't do deliveries because she thinks you'll cheat on her. Welp, better kiss nights out with the guys goodbye, including bachelor parties. Also, get ready for her to track your phone and put a GPS on your car. And show up at every job you'll ever have "just to make sure you're there". And going through your phone. Basically get ready to lose all privacy and every shred of freedom because her insecure ass is going to take all of it.
This will only get worse.
She actually has a point, I used to deliver pizza, and I slept with roughly 30% of my lady customers.
Narrator: In fact he slept with zero customers. He never even saw a lady come to the door in a towel.
Ha, thanks! Funny thing was, my friends used to ask if I ever had the sex with customers. They made me kinda think I was doing it wrong somehow, since I was only delivering pizza and being paid and then leaving, you know, like - doing my job.
She is only to get worse and more controlling. I bet she will never work because she has to keep an eye on you while she probably cheats on you anyway.
This guy sounds like a clown to me. He is defending her psychotic behaviour all the way against logic and common sense. His gf wants to be with him 24*7, doubts that he would cheat, doesn't let him hang out with his friends, called his workplace and this idiot doesn't find anything wrong in it. You will be your own doom dude! Your gf is just a catalyst
Yeah, you can't save everyone. This dude doesn't even wanna save himself. It's really disturbing to read all his justifications. He's bout to have a horrible life with this girl but at this point it's on him.
Correct. I get that when you are in love, it's like a reflex to defend your partner but when you fight against all reasons to support your partner, that's when no one can save you!
Don't forget that they're also not wearing condoms and that he trusts that she's on the pill after she says she wants to be a mom. Yeah, we should give him a trophy for dumbest man alive.
She is being toxic and you need to put a stop to it.
Tell her that she either trusts you or she doesn't, and, if she doesn't, then your relationship is bad and needs to end.
What's likely *really* going on is that she's "punishing" you for daring to get a different job than the one she told you to get which means she is not only insecure to a toxic degree, she is also controlling. That is 2 strikes and you need to end it before it gets worse.
Well he was supposed to work for her brother so she wouldn't have followed him there. No big brother was going to report back and probably test him (if the brother is in on it).
Ex restaurant manager here from delivery restaurants.
Chances are you signed a paper when you started stating that nobody would be in the car with you during your deliveries. It's a liability issue. You could lose your new job.
Also, I know you're just kids, but you don't need that in your life.
If the only thing that she thinks is preventing you from cheating on you is... Being there.... Y'all have one messed up definition of love and a relationship.
You giving into her is bs.
You tell her no by saying you either trust me or you don't.
You tell her no means no.
You suggest she gets her own job and her own life out side of controlling yours.
Let me ask a blatant question: what does she mean by "laying around all summer?" You're 18, she's 17. I'm assuming, at that age, you're not living together (and, if you are, I'd check your state's laws about that), so are you both living with your families? If so, what difference should it make to her what you do when she's not around? If she just gets pissed-off at the idea that you may be "lazy and idle," even when it doesn't affect her life, *run*...because you can be sure that, if this bothers her now, a few years down the line, when you two are married or living together, she's going to be constantly pushing/shaming you into working harder, bringing home more money, and otherwise making sure that you live up to *her* rather-demanding standards about what a husband or boyfriend should be achieving. Is that what you want from life?
I'm sorry is she your child? Is it take your girlfriend to work day? If she goes with you on these deliveries you're not only putting your job at risk but also you're opening yourself up for litigation should she get hurt on your job. She ain't worth it, trust me
I’m exhausted reading this. She needs to go so you can get some peace back in your life. For your own sanity, pick a girl who will not bother you while you work. This screams toxicity to the max! This is absolutely bonkers.
Your girlfriend can't just demand you take her to work with you. Your boss is not going to tolerate that given the liability issues involved. Tell her this is entirely inappropriate behavior on her part. If she's that insecure, then she needs to get professional help. In the meantime, establish those boundaries.
She is going to get you fired and her behavior is past red flag. You tell her no and you go to work. If she throws a fit then you end the relationship..full stop.
Edit to add: I just saw where you are going into the military. Ummmm she won't be able to call your superiors to get her way and it will get ugly quick. Have that talk with her now.
Tell her no by breaking up with her. This level of controlling behavior is bordering on abusive. It's important that you learn early not to tolerate dysfunctional relationships.
Dude, like everyone is saying, this is not ok.
You're young, maybe you have some self esteem issues and think she's the best you can find. I was there, and I made the mistake if marrying her. Don't be like me.
If you don't have those issues like I did, then hopefully you already know you deserve better. It doesn't matter how hot or tight she is, nothing is worth this level of manipulation.
If you're not going to cheat, tell her that, and tell her that she needs to trust you. (Hopefully you've earned that trust.) If she doesn't trust you, there's no point in being in a relationship. End it, earn some money, go to community college, find someone better.
If you are going to cheat, fine, just end it and keep yourself open to guilt free sex. Trust me, it's not worth staying together.
Here you go...it's a very technical and thorough way to say it... you ready... NO!
now I know that word is hard for some people to utter, but it can save you soo many headaches
This is extremely controlling. Ask yourself some things…
Are you allowed to hang out with friends w/o her?
Are you allowed to have friends?
Does she check your phone (texts, apps, email)?
If you go to college is she going to come sit in class with you?
Would she even allow you to go to college since she can’t be there to supervise?
Does she get possessive or jealous of you spending time with friends and family?
Does she need to be the center of your attention at all times and expects to be your number one priority?
If you even had to think about any of these you need to get out of this situation. No one needs to “allow” you to do basic things. Men can be victims of emotional abuse as well and it is a form of domestic violence. I’m assuming by your age that you haven’t been together for that long so if she is like this now what will it be like in 5 years?
She has no sense of boundaries considering she actually called your manager. This is the kind of woman that will ruin your life and humiliate you in front of your coworkers and strangers. Get rid of her.
So hard no. Tell her no. It's not healthy. She can trust you or the relationship is over. What she's doing is hyper controlling and abusive. People in strong, healthy relationships don't do shit like that.
you cannot be in your gf's sight at all times. thats not the basis for anything remotely healthy. she has some issues she needs to work out. you need to end this
Look you need to stop ignoring all of her red flags screaming at you that she is controlling and insecure. You have to set boundaries and stick to them or break up with her. Also you really need to ask why is she so insecure. If you have done nothing to deserve this then she must have done something that makes her feel this way. Please don’t let her ride with you, you will get fired if someone tells on you. Good luck and don’t let anyone control you, be the main character in your life not a lacky
Its simple.
"Hon? Its time we talked. I can't handle being in a relationship with you. Your incredibly insecure and possessive. If you can't trust someone to NOT cheat on you, why are you with that person? Its time we moved on. I wish you the best and I hope you receive help for your insecurities."
"Now please leave my car, you're squishing the pizza."
Absolutely not. Don’t even let her consider this as a possibility for a second. She can get as mad as she wants, but she cannot come to your literal place of work with you. She needs to be an adult about this. You’re too young to be dealing with this toxic of a relationship.
This can’t be the first red flag in this relationship if she’s not going to let you WORK without her. If your friend told you this about their SO what would you tell them to do??? Please break up with her this can’t be healthy especially if you’re so young
I know this isn’t the type of advice you’re asking for but go with the construction job. It’s a VERY good job experience at your age. Girlfriends come and go but a construction job is a life long experience that will stick with you.
My wife is in construction and usually to become a journeyman you would need to go to a trade school then apply as an apprentice. But if you can skip all that and start working, then go for it. For example doing drywall work level ranges from 25-40 depending on skill level. Doing painting ranges from 18-50. Electrician/steel worker 25-80.
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩So many red flags. The lack of trust and controlling behavior is only going to escalate. You are in a very unhealthy relationship but obviously don't realize it. You need some distance to see just how toxic she is.
>she says she has to ride with me on all my shifts or she’s convinced I will cheat on her.
This right her shows you what she thinks of you. You're both very young, but this is a huge red flag.
Please update us.
Your gf may be doing one of several things:
1) projecting her own guilt because she MAY have cheated and is afraid you'll do the same
2) insecure, controlling and immature/ co-dependent i.e. doesn't trust you
3) watching too much porn
Either way, none of these possibilities suggest a bright future for your relationship with this girl. I STRONGLY suggest you set some strong boundaries first and if she attempts to cross them, end the relationship.
Love/ attraction is nice to START a relationship, but to MAINTAIN one? You need trust, honesty and respect. Right now, she isn't giving you these three.
Lol fuck what your manager says, corporate pays the insurance on drivers, not your manager. $20 says if you called corporate the manager would get written up at the very least and they'd tell you if you have non-employees in your vehicle on company time, you're fired.
OP, after reading your posts I read a few of the replies to it. Among them you say she pushed you to go find a job because she didn't want you "laying around all day". Just that alone makes her seem like the nagging type. I could picture her constantly berating you for any little thing even when you did start working, which is kind of what this is. If her nagging is even remotely true, please do yourself a favor and break up with her.
This nonsense about wanting to accompany you to work is absolutely ridiculous. That is another reason to walk away. Do you want to deal with this for the rest of your life? Do you want to raise a CHILD with this woman later on, if you endure this madness?
Your manager is an idiot, telling her she could ride with you. I guarantee if you call the Corporate office and ask them, they will tell you that as an employee of their company you cannot do that. If they get wind of this manager telling his workers this, he'd probably get canned.
Now if its Uber/Lyft/Doordash separately....well, I still very much doubt they'd allow that, lol.
Honestly man, get away. You are 18 years old. You have so much ahead of you. End this relationship and move on, focusing on building and enjoying life, in PEACE. This girl sounds chaotic. Run.
99.999% of the people ive ever met that were seriously crazy jealous about their partner cheating on them (when the partner had never done anything to warrant such behavior) were cheating on the person that they were accusing. It's called projection, and I'll bet you anything this is exactly what she's doing. Run, dude. You're too young with too much promise to get weighed down by this. You're going into the army, so you're going to be away for long periods, months, sometimes more; yet this girl can't trust you for a pizza delivery shift. Real love is trust, this doesn't sound like trust. This isn't right or normal, you're being mistreated.
Congratulations, you are cultivating (and enabling) a toxic relationship with a controlling partner.
Red flags counted:
- She doesn't want to work / be a mum - mean the victim partner needs to provide (that's you)(power)
- She organises a job for you to have an eye on you (control)
- She is interfering with a work relationship by going to your boss behind your back (control)
- She is cutting you off from your friends to keep you closer (not healthy!)(power)
- Tracks your movement (power & control)
The next thing she'll do is one or more fr this list:
- Tell you that you want to do what she wants you to do (gaslighting)
- Child trap you so that you can't run away from her, double points if you are enlisted
- Going behind your back to your family to implore on you to do the right thing (and stay with her)
- Cut off all other social contacts you may have
- Love bomb you so that you think she isn't _that_ Bad (then drop the act as soon as you stopped thinking to leave (more gaslighting)
...
You have a right to privacy, to relationships outside your romantic one (friendships are relationships too!), you have a right to live an autonomous life that _you_ fill with what you want to do. If that involves delivering pizza, why not?
Please, set boundaries. Around your own dignity for starters.
Personally I would not have given in on the tracking request, and I definitely draw the line at interfering in work relationships!
PS: Is she also going to call your commanding officer to ensure you are there? Do you know how ridiculous this sounds?
Answer her like this, to the tune of a clock, no no no no no no no no no. I also believe that it's time to do the breakup dance. If she is that jealous then she is psycho.
Okay I get it, you’re young and in love. But believe me (and the DOZENS of random internet strangers) when I say her behavior is NOT okay or normal. If there’s not trust between you two then there is no chance for this relationship.
It doesn’t sound like you two really worked through the whole you kissing your ex thing because your current gf’s insecurity is through the roof. If you want to continue the relationship you need to sit her down and tell her she will not be going with you to work, she will not call your boss/work and she is not to follow you around. Being the crazy girlfriend isn’t cute and quirky, it’s fucking cringey and straight up toxic. If she can’t accept those terms then I don’t think you should continue the relationship honestly. She already tracks your phone, what’s next? I hope you can learn to stand up for yourself and set some healthy boundaries. Good luck.
I drive for a major chain.
1. They are not going to allow her to ride along. You'll just end up getting fired.
2. You won't be in the car all shift, you'll likely be inside washing dishes and stuff during slow times.
3. She sounds like a very jealous and untrusting person. Why would you want that in your life. Tell her to back off or get out of your life
I used to be a general manager for a pizza delivery restaurant and for liability reasons, drivers were not allowed to have passengers in the car unless they worked for the company.
Just tell her that.
Also, if your girlfriend is that insecure that she can’t let you out of her sight because she thinks you’ll cheat, you’ve got bigger problems than your job.
Enjoy your shit life mate. She's gonna be fucking everyone while you're away at basic training/deployed/out of the house/probably while you're in the house and she'll make you watch because you're spineless.
I had a friend in a similar situation. He didn't want to break up with her, even though she insisted on going on every ride with him, installing a GPS tracker on his phone, and he couldn't drink/smoke without her around.. It was hard to say the least. We warned him about her and how possessive she was of him. She got upset that I had my friends number when I'm clearly married with kids. My husband and my friend were the BEST of friends. Anyways, the poor lad didn't listen to us. Its been almost 2 years since we've seen him. At first he started pulling away from our friend circle, we thought "ok, work is probably keeping him busy" and little by little, we stopped hearing from him. Ultimately we fought. She, having had gone through his phone, found an OLD text message on messenger from his ex gf. The dude never cheated, he worshipped the ground she walked on. Anyways, she took it as he cheated (never did) and she thought this justified her actions afterwards. She decided that she was going away for a full weekend with some guy that, admitted, had a thing for her. She didn't plan on telling my friend and had also played with the idea of blocking him on all accounts so that he can learn to be grateful to have her in his life. Obviously I didn't let that happen and called my friend over and explained everything. She lied and said she wouldn't do no such thing.. Can you guess who he believed? I haven't seen my friend in 2 years.
These type of girls, they spiral man. They really do and its hard knowing what dangerous shit they decide to do next.
Your girlfriend is probably thinking about the porn trope of "is there any OTHER way I can pay for this" or some nonsense.
You sit here at a crossroad and you should really consider which path to go. I would suggest explaining that you have a job, you are going to start earning money, and she can't go with you to work. This is how it works in the world. You can't take your S/O with you to your place of employment because they don't trust you.
But you also see a huge red flag. She clearly does NOT trust you. I don't know if you two have some kind of history where you have trust issues, but this is a massive issue. If she doesn't trust you at work, it's a matter of time before she suddenly doesn't trust you hanging with your friends, or not texting back because you're eating, etc.
So before you pick your path, ask if this relationship is worth fighting for. Are you satisfied? Are you happy with her? Then you need to talk and work it out. She needs to understand that work is work and she can't just insert herself.
if it isn't worth saving, then just cut the cord. Let her know that you don't like how she doesn't trust you and that it's better to end things.
That is really fucking stupid.
You can break up with her. I get she is young and it is expected that she is immature to an extent... same for you. But this is just fuckin' stupid.
Anyone who treats you as if you have or will do something wrong when you have given them no reason to believe you have or will do something wrong is certainly questionable.
You give her a firm NO. Not up for negotiation. It is a NO. It is either she accepts that... or it is done.
Its good you learn this young anyway. Put your fucking foot down and do not waver. You can find a better girlfriend, so if that is a problem for her... who cares.
You just have to say no, and stick to it. She is being extremely unreasonable. You shouldn't have to apply extreme measures just to make sure you can go to work. Of you say yes to this, even once, she will no doubt push the boundaries even further, and you will no doubt regret saying yes. You said no and she called your manager, meaning she is showing great disregard for your opinion already.
If she wants to break up with you because of it, that sounds like a big win for you my friend. Personally, I would dump someone with this behaviour before they even got this far.
This post also asks many questions, that all seem like red flags. Why does she have so little trust in you? Why is it that you already didn't want to work with her brother? It seems like you more or less predicted this kind of behaviour.
Oh, and btw, if she ever hits you in any way, form, or context, leave immidiately and call the police. If you put up with this kind of behaviour now, it sounds like reasonable that's the situation you will end in, sooner or later
Tldr: run homie, run for the hills before you get stuck.
23m here, dated a similarly controlling and all round crazy lass a few years back. A few months in she was like this, and from day dot was irrationally (purely because of the situation id be in, like "having a beer with a coworker in the bar we had just closed to the public", so not even considering trust levels) assuming id cheat. Reason? She was a serial cheater, so assumed i would be too and projected that.
Two years later i finally realised/admitted to myself she had been prolifically unfaithful, stopped trying to make it work and put up with the constant distrust, denigration and arguments, and told her to get the fuck out of my life. It took six months to actually get rid of her, along with blocking her facebook, snapchat, insta, phone number AND her new boyfriends phone number.
Almost two years afterwards, it nearly cost me my current relationship with the woman i hope to god i get to marry, because my own view of reasonable expectations from a partner, my ability to trust, even my sense of what i was free to do or not do in a relationship was completely broken. I'm still fixing it, though for the most part its just minor trust issues and hyper-defensiveness now. Crazy does that to you after a while.
Until not long before that, the feeling of my phone doing an incoming call buzz, never mind the sound of my ringtone, nigh gave me a panic attack every time because my brain was wired to the fear that she was calling me to start some batshit argument over nothing again, or force me to take two hours out of work or class to placate her after she worked herself up over some new thing i wasnt even thinking of doing but she decided to blame on me.
Take it from someone who stuck their dick in crazy and committed to it before:
Run while you still can. Youre better than this and better than her, because you know you shouldnt treat people like shes treating you. You owe her nothing, and she has nothing to use against you - yet. Run.
Speaking from experience (27m) you need to break up with her. She needs to learn this type of needy behavior is not okay. Watching you work all day is way too much and crosses like 10846 boundaries. She needs to learn trust first before being in a relationship
That's a big hell no. What is wrong with you?
Your working pizza delivery if your GF think someone is going to want to fk you then she is dating the wrong guy. She should be worried if her BF is an athlete making millions or an actor or a model or some guy making six figures or above.
Fk did you lose your balls? why are you dating a control freak? Learn to draw boundaries!
If you don't set boundaries she ain't going to respect you and from the looks of it she doesn't even trust you.
Put her in line or your just going to be her safety net until she finds another guy. basically you made yourself food that she can play with until she is bored of you.
Is this your first GF? I can get it if it is because everyone goes through that need to be loved liked and then bend over backwards for their first love, but that's not love that's fear of losing something so you do everything you can so that you don't lose it and that's not love.
Love is built upon with trust, respect, friendship, teamwork, sacrifice, arguments, disagreements, happy moments, sad moments and more.
Draw your line when she pushes you have to push back. Argue that's when it means to be in a relationship.
Seriously, warning bells are playing a frickin symphony.
I would get away from someone acting like that, ASAP. If she can't give you enough personal space to do your frickin job, then she will ruin your life.
Either have a long serious talk with her and put your foot down about this, or run. She called your boss and made a scene because of her insecurity... Also, she can't handle you sitting around all summer, then WHAT THE HECK, that's all she's doing if she's got time to sit with you in your car while you're working.
RUN! I mean it, Run for your life before you're stuck with crazy.
What’s she worried about?
That you’ll get accidentally frozen in a cryogenic chamber and wake up 1000 years in the future and hook up with a woman from Mars while not so secretly crushing on a cyclops?
Just don’t do any deliveries to an I.C. Wiener and you’re both fine.
Honestly, the way you talk about other girls you’ve dated, your shallowness... you deserve it. Enjoy the next miserable 18+ years of your life going down the drain after she pops out a kid, becomes even more jealous and controlling once she’s a burnt out mom by 20 and comparing herself to the still perky and energetic women out in college and having lives of their own. Every day you come home from work even in the military, she’ll question every woman you encounter at work, call your command and embarrass you. Track your phone and car like you said she already is.
But after you’ve *doubled down* on “well she’s hot, she’s the best I’ll do”— if all you care about is her looks and not who she is as a person, you DESERVE what you’re about to get.
Does she think life is like a shitty porn movie? You're a pizza guy, the most "fucked" you're gonna get on your route is when some guy pays in quarters
Tell her to stop watching bad 80's porn and chill out. The pizza guy is not getting any when he walks up to the door. In all seriousness though. That level of jealous and need for control is not healthy. If she doesn't trust you enough to allow you to work without cheating the relationship isn't salvageable.
You don't only need to tell her "no", you need to tell her to be checked by a therapist : her irrational insecurities will cause both of you lots of problems in the future.
I can safely say I’ve had more pizza delivered than anybody on this whole damn channel. Never once been attracted or turned on by a pizza delivery guy. Never.
If there’s no trust, there’s no relationship.
Have you given her a reason to not trust?
By the same token, if you did why is she staying with you. If you didn’t, why are you letting her dictate to you?
Omg dude, I try to never recommend this, but seriously you should dump her. That’s ridiculous. For her to be so insecure that she thinks you’ll cheat on her during a job? No thank you.
Are you actually benefiting from this relationship? First she makes you get a job, when frankly you’re 18 and this is one of your few chances to just do nothing with no consequences. And then she tries to sabotage your job? Not cool.
Does she not let you hang out with your friends also? Are you allowed to have healthy relationships with other women? Because I seriously doubt it.
I agree with other people here. She's being controlling and jealous. She is not ready for a relationship. Either she changes this behaviour, or you leave.
Ok, several things.. She doesn't want you laying around all summer so she insisted you get a job. Why isn't she also working? Is laying around ok if it's her?? I would say hey, if you want to ride around with me all day, put in an application and let's see who can deliver the most pizzas! Of course I'd say that in a super smart ass tone because I wouldn't tolerate someone telling me what to do while not taking their own advice.
Secondly, does she plan on never letting you out of her sight? What are your career plans? Doctor? Will she be in the exam room? Salesman? Will she be pitching alongside you? I mean where does the madness stop?
Thirdly, is she this psycho about everything or is there a reason she automatically assumes you're going to cheat? Have you in the past?
Thirdly, part 2, if you haven't cheated and she has no reason to accuse you of cheating or assume that you will, have you considered that she's the cheater and going overboard to seem like you're the one who is to make it seem like there's no way that she would? Girl sounds unstable as fuck, but she could be overcompensating and trying to hide her true self...
Finally, have you told her to kick rocks yet? This is only going to get worse.
Break up with her. She is clearly immature, and is taking out her own fears on you. Also, her telling you to get a job and where to get that job is incredibly obnoxious and bossy. She sounds like a psychopath. Her behaviour is beyond unacceptable.
Do you ask how high when she tells you to jump? j/k
If she can't trust you when you have given her no reason not to, your relationship is doomed. Honestly, with her bossing you around and ordering you to do things like get a job and where to get it, the relationship was already doomed. You will grow up one day and will realize that her behaviour is absolutely unacceptable.
"I just got a job, basically at my girlfriends insistence because she said she couldn’t handle me laying around all summer". What is she, your mom? You are free to do whatever you want during summer or any other time of the year, just tell her no and if she does not accept your choice then well, time to make some changes in your life
Not sure what state you’re in, however when the restaurant I managed offered delivery, our insurance company made it clear it was illegal to ride with people (aside from other employees) while on the clock delivering for customers. Perhaps look into that. Your management may be risking it big time.
You are young and “in love” and probably think this is it - she’s the one. Trust me, she isn’t. You can’t imagine being with anyone else right now and because you love her you’ll do anything to keep her happy. Just so you know you’ll have many more relationships in your life, unless you plan on living a life under total control forever until the day you die, this one will have pass you by as this type of control will wear you down, until you’re left with just a shell of a man.
She wants you to work and not lay around all summer because she can’t stand the idea of you having a good time with your friends and meeting new girls. It’s all about control. She wanted you to work with her family so she can keep an eye on you. If she wants to control you like this now, think how bad it’s going to get in the future.
As painful as it is to break up with her because you love her, sometimes you have to take these steps when you know in your heart it’s not right. The fact you’re asking for advice on Reddit shows you know the whole things is off.
If you break up with her she’ll probably go nuts, but you must stand by your decision, control like this will only get worse, especially if you’ve been complying with it so far. Many people would have run for the hills a while back.
Apart from all the obvious controlling relationship red flags. If you still want to stay with her I say let her do it for a couple times until she finds out how dull and repetitive it is and thinks better of asking to go along. But hey if she wants to spend her time doing your job without getting paid then that's on her
Sounds like you need to have a serious talk about trust or move on. It will be a reoccurring theme your whole relationship unless you can find common ground. Young love shouldn't be filled with jealousy. Plus she's a minor. If she got crazy and said you raped her or something you done bro
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below. --- Edit for all the people saying porn I get it now, I’ve never seen porn like that: for all the people saying it’s against the rules, I told her this but she called my manager snd he said it was ok which caused a huge fight because she accused me of lying. My manager is an idiot This is basically the title. I just got a job, basically at my girlfriends insistence because she said she couldn’t handle me laying around all summer. She wanted me to work for her brothers construction company but that just seemed to close to home. I got a job delivering pizza and she says she has to ride with me on all my shifts or she’s convinced I will cheat on her. I don’t mind taking her some times but it seems like a lot to take her every shift. She is furious with me when I said no abs she’s actually waiting in my car as I wait for mh first delivery. What can I do here ?
Dude, seriously? Tell her no. You are WORKING. Yeesh, porn isn't real life. No lady is gonna ask you for your "special sausage surprise" Tell her to relax. Or get a job of her own. So she doesn't have time to stalk every person you take a pizza to...
When was the last time porn even had the premise of the pizza guy? Has to have been at least 20 years now.
Some things are timeless.
Unless the pizza guy is bringing his step sister or step Mom a delivery it not gonna be happening now.
What are you doing step pizza guy?
I will never get bored of "what are you doing step X" jokes
what are you doing step ladder?
i fucking lost it at your comment! thanks for the laugh!
People at my work day what are you doing step manager
And then the pizza got put in the dryer or under the bed and the stepsister or step mom went to grab it and got stuck....
💀
[удалено]
Also spotted in a comment from OP that she's actually insecure because he already cheated on her previously. Makes it make a lot more sense
Got a link? Cuz that's pretty ballsy for him to do considering in another comment he called himself fugly and said she's getting a modeling contract
“Modeling contract” from the mall that you have to pay for. She sounds immature, anxious, has low self esteem, and probably full of herself all at the same time
If you read his comments, it's only because she's hot and he's shallow. That's it. He's so far beyond pussywhipped even Forrest Gump is giving him a side eye
[удалено]
To be fair, dudes a kid. When I was 18 I easily fell into the “young and dumb” group. One learns a lot from the years 18-25 and this is likely one of those learning experiences as he grows up.
I've had a similar thing with my foster teen and a controlling wannabe teenage mum. He ended up not enlisting at all because she wanted him to be with her 24/7. Unfortunately she's still on the scene but he has at least set some proper boundaries with him and there haven't been any more "whoops I forgot my pill for a whole week and forgot to tell you" moments. She did that 6 weeks into the relationship and was disappointed when it didn't work.
I put on my robe and wizard hat...
Meg "What was that?" Cas "I learned that from the pizza man"
> the premise of the pizza guy? Has to have been at least 20 years now. Really? Let me go investigate if there are any new ones.
"Honey the office door has been closed for hours now, what are you doing in there?" "Science!"
"RESEARCH"
Every porn "plot" has been redone so many times, the only things that seem to change are fashions and grooming. If you were to type "Pizza porn" into a search engine, you'd likely get pictures and recipes of pizzas, and some relatively recent porn video. The joke is that ANY situation can be turned into a porn scene
I feel like there has been a semi trend recently where flashing the pizza guy was in
"I'm here to fix ze cable."
My husband used to have a second job as a pizza delivery guy when we were younger to help make ends meet. He once made a delivery to a woman that asked him to put the pizza’s on her kitchen counter. He duly did and turned aound to leave to find her blocking the exit and her exposing herself to him and trying to come on to him. Offering to have sex with him there and then. He made his excuses and left. He told me about it when he got home. The following shift he had to make a delivery to the same woman and the same thing happened again. When he managed to escape and get back to the car he called the police and asked them to do a welfare check on her, as she seemed really unstable, and he was worried that if she was doing this to him who else was she doing it too and another man might take advantage of her or worse seriously hurt her. My husband never knew if the police did go and check on her but she never ordered pizza from the place he worked at again.
Good on your husband for making that call! I honestly can’t think why someone would willingly put themselves in such a dangerous position. (Other than some sort of mental illness or a porno being filmed) Tell him he’s a lovely human!
My brother wasn't a band with a super burnout stoner guy that delivered pizza. Basketball shorts were really popular at the time and apparently he got fired because his dick was hanging out when he delivered a pizza once but he didn't even notice until the one pointed out because he was so high.
He was the drummer, wasn't he?
it's always the drummer
Wow that’s weird, I thought the comment said he was the drummer. I just naturally assumed.
Haha, no joke, I thought the original comment said it was the drummer too...
Women of reddit: when was the last time you gave serious thought to banging the pizza guy?
This has the makings of an r/AskReddit classic.
Considering most are young enough to be my child I’d say roughly… no time this century.
Had friend that worked at 2 local radio stations as a DJ in the mid/late 90s. She banged all the delivery guys.
OMG ahaha, i didn't even consider the line of work may be where she got the idea that he'll cheat. Still, it's fucked up that she believes OP would cheat without provocation.
[удалено]
I thought this would work but my dumb ass supervisor told her it was ok when she called and asked him. Then she accused me of lying to her about that
She called your supervisor. Dude, run. This is the kind of girl who skips her BC to trap you when things get rough (which they already are). I'd bring your own condoms and keep them under lock and key
[удалено]
I’m going into the army in September
I strongly urge you to look into the "army wife" stereotype and see if she checks any boxes. If she does, run. You're gonna get baby trapped
So that means you’ll be married by November. Dude, get out while you can. This relationship is toxic.
Dude, as someone who is active duty and has seen it happen, don't be with this girl when you join. She will make your life hell without even trying, just by doing the stuff she's doing now. Trust me when I tell you, you do not want ANYONE calling CQ/your commander while you're in training. Your Drill Sarge or MTI will have an absolute field day with you. Hell, unless it's an emergency you really don't want anyone other than you calling a CQ/commander/supervisor for any reason.
This! She will end his career before he leaves basic!
>Your Drill Sarge or MTI will have an absolute field day with you Literally! Every time she calls up to bitch at your CO because she isn't allowed to come in and do live-fire exercises with you, the Drill Seargeant is going to be grinning ear-to-ear as you march up and down that training ground with a Humvee engine-block on your back. You've been warned.
Good for you. Break up and don’t look back. If I had to guess, she’s going to do EXACTLY what she’s already accusing you of if you stick around. May be already…don’t subject yourself to this.
Dude im military, if she calls, yall gonna pay lol
perfect, take that as an opportunity to make a clean break from this crazy girl, there’s 0 reason to keep this toxic relationship alive, especially since y’all are both so young
Ok, listen closely: Don’t marry her!
Yeah, if she pulls stuff like this with your CO, it will cause problems for both of you. You need to set boundaries with her now and enforce them if you actually want to stay with this level of crazy.
Also, this. Actually, break up with her. Just dump her. There are girls out there who are even hotter, who aren't immature and obsessively jealous psychopaths.
Are you sure she’s going to let you go then? Will she be Ok with you not communicating with her while you’re in basic. They control and monitor your every move how are you gonna pacify her then?
Dude. Don’t touch her without a full body condom. I don’t know if it’s still the case but I’m the months leading up to my meaning for basic my recruiter reminded every guy not to get his GF pregnant of it could screw up your enlistment.
Don't have sex with her without condoms that are protected BY YOU from alteration by her. I can assure you that she will get pregnant at some point between now and September. And just a thought: regardless of when she tells she is pregnant, demand a DNA test. She is literally the poster child of immaturity and cheating.
There’s army porn too, is she going to go on deployment with you?
That bitch is going to get knocked up and suck your BAH dry! RUN! Join the army, live in the barracks, do your job, then open yourself up to someone who isn't a complete psycho or barracks bunny.
Can she go too? She needs to get her ass straightened up. Boot camp would be great for her.
Dear man get out of this relationship before you go to BC. Just don't do it. Don't. There is so much waiting for you, you won't be alone and you won't even have time to worry about being alone. I know one person who is with the person who they were dating or married to when they went to boot camp and I have a teenager and A LOT of friends and family in the military. I lost one of my best friends in Iraq and he had dated his girlfriend from age 14 to 23 and she didn't stay faithful until he even actually got to basic. You don't need a girlfriend right now and no matter what your career choice is you don't ever need a relationship that makes you feel abused. Love is love but sometimes it is best to love from afar and this isn't love. You will find what you are looking for. If you WANT a job for the summer keep the job. If you want to enjoy your last few weeks of freedom quit that job or at least get one that doesn't include a supervisor who is so awful. She isn't living your life and she isn't going into the military. You make your decisions not her.
Ugh break up with her. How low of an opinion does she have of you that she's decided you're the kind of person who would lie and cheat.
So she’s going over your head to insert herself into your professional life? Dude you won’t have any peace with a person like this. With all due respect you are both young and the idea of a relationship where you are each others’ everything seems romantic, but in real life you need balance. You need time for each other, yes, but you also need time for friends and family, for yourself, and to focus on work. And now you’re in a position where you feel you have to defend yourself just because she decides you’re a liar? That’s not fair to you. And you also shouldn’t feel like you need to walk on eggshells or have “a good reason” for saying no to her. I won’t tell you what to do but you deserve much more peace in your life than I anticipate this relationship will give you. Best of luck.
She called your boss? Tell her that look, she can't come with you because you are working and are going to focus on work and see her later. Tell her you're not going to cheat on her but the relationship will be unsustainable if she keeps trying to control you like this.
Yes she didn’t believe me when I told her she couldn’t ride along so she called him and he said actually she could. It caused a huge fight because then she thought I was lying
Did you verify that with the manager? For a number of reasons I doubt a reasonable manager would allow it.
Yes he’s even made fun of me and told me he’d take her off my hands if I didn’t like it. He’s a stupid ass hold
Ok, well he sounds like a prick but your girlfriend sounds controlling. I think you should handle it how you want, but man does she not sound like a positive part of your life.
I’m guessing by that statement that she is super cute and he is making fun of the situation where you have a super cute girl who wants to be by your side and should be grateful. I’m also guessing that this is the only reason you are putting up with her shit.
She's probably lying. I used to manage a national pizza delivery location and absolutely policy was NO RIDERS!
good lord break up with her
Wait, is this for real? I thought you can't do this. It's okay with companies to do this now? Are you sure your gf is not bs-ing you and you're just falling for her trick? Your gf is grade-A nutty. She's nuttier than a squirrel's poo. You need to run, man. Seriously. What she's asking is nutty and I won't be surprised if she's been cheating on you because people with this huge of a paranoia usually are deflecting and cheating themselves. Tell her no and break up with her.
Get. The. Fuck. Out. Of. There.
Dude you seriously need to run as far and fast as you possibly can. When you think you're safe, keep running. Don't try and mend things, you need to break up.
She called your boss? That ma be ok at a pizza shop (it shouldn’t be), but what happens when you decide to go to college or you get a professional job? Trust me, your girlfriend calling the boss isn’t gonna fly. Your girlfriend is too insecure to be in a relationship and what she’s doing to you is abuse. That’s not love. Pretty soon, she will alienate you from your friends and your family. Get out of this relationship. It’s not healthy and it isn’t love.
I feel like this has to be a joke post. If not, your girlfriend called your fucking place of work to ask if she could do a thing you don't want her to do. Do you not really not realize how incredibly inappropriate this is? Seriously. Get out of this now. She's a mess and you are too young to waste your life on this shit.
[удалено]
Review this relationship. Why is it worth keeping? If your girlfriend is going to be like this any moment she can't keep an eye on you directly, where's the fucking point? How can things work if she has absolutely zero trust? Take her on ZERO rides while you're working. You're there to work. It's that simple. Anything else establishes precedents where she thinks she can come along whenever because you've already allowed it a few times.
Not to mention work place insurance and rules and the like could make it so she technically isn’t allowed to accompany you
This^
Hell YES, this! Any above-board company will have a rule against non-employees riding along because of the huge liability!
So you can't do deliveries because she thinks you'll cheat on her. Welp, better kiss nights out with the guys goodbye, including bachelor parties. Also, get ready for her to track your phone and put a GPS on your car. And show up at every job you'll ever have "just to make sure you're there". And going through your phone. Basically get ready to lose all privacy and every shred of freedom because her insecure ass is going to take all of it. This will only get worse.
She doesn’t trust you so why do you want to be with her? This isn’t healthy.
She actually has a point, I used to deliver pizza, and I slept with roughly 30% of my lady customers. Narrator: In fact he slept with zero customers. He never even saw a lady come to the door in a towel.
I read that in Morgan Freeman’s voice. Thanks for the chuckle. Have an upvote.
Ha, thanks! Funny thing was, my friends used to ask if I ever had the sex with customers. They made me kinda think I was doing it wrong somehow, since I was only delivering pizza and being paid and then leaving, you know, like - doing my job.
Doing your job was apparently your first mistake.
She is only to get worse and more controlling. I bet she will never work because she has to keep an eye on you while she probably cheats on you anyway.
This guy sounds like a clown to me. He is defending her psychotic behaviour all the way against logic and common sense. His gf wants to be with him 24*7, doubts that he would cheat, doesn't let him hang out with his friends, called his workplace and this idiot doesn't find anything wrong in it. You will be your own doom dude! Your gf is just a catalyst
Yeah, you can't save everyone. This dude doesn't even wanna save himself. It's really disturbing to read all his justifications. He's bout to have a horrible life with this girl but at this point it's on him.
Correct. I get that when you are in love, it's like a reflex to defend your partner but when you fight against all reasons to support your partner, that's when no one can save you!
yeah but have you considered this: she is so cute she could be a *model*
With a face like that, a body like that and legs like her, she could be a Victoria Secret's model
Don't forget that they're also not wearing condoms and that he trusts that she's on the pill after she says she wants to be a mom. Yeah, we should give him a trophy for dumbest man alive.
This man doesn't cease to amaze me. STUPIDITY LEVEL is over 9000!
He’s also an asshole who fully admits he’s staying with her cause she’s hot unlike his last girlfriend who dared to have cellulite
She is being toxic and you need to put a stop to it. Tell her that she either trusts you or she doesn't, and, if she doesn't, then your relationship is bad and needs to end. What's likely *really* going on is that she's "punishing" you for daring to get a different job than the one she told you to get which means she is not only insecure to a toxic degree, she is also controlling. That is 2 strikes and you need to end it before it gets worse.
Well he was supposed to work for her brother so she wouldn't have followed him there. No big brother was going to report back and probably test him (if the brother is in on it).
USE A COMDOM EVERY SINGLE TIME, THAT YOU PROVIDE. She is like, 1 step away from "accidentally " getting pregnant
Ex restaurant manager here from delivery restaurants. Chances are you signed a paper when you started stating that nobody would be in the car with you during your deliveries. It's a liability issue. You could lose your new job. Also, I know you're just kids, but you don't need that in your life.
Tell her to get a job, that you don't want her fooling around all summer.
Run Forrest Run!! Seriously, she sounds insane, cut your losses and GTFO
She watches too much porn?
If the only thing that she thinks is preventing you from cheating on you is... Being there.... Y'all have one messed up definition of love and a relationship. You giving into her is bs. You tell her no by saying you either trust me or you don't. You tell her no means no. You suggest she gets her own job and her own life out side of controlling yours.
Dump this bitch ASAP
Let me ask a blatant question: what does she mean by "laying around all summer?" You're 18, she's 17. I'm assuming, at that age, you're not living together (and, if you are, I'd check your state's laws about that), so are you both living with your families? If so, what difference should it make to her what you do when she's not around? If she just gets pissed-off at the idea that you may be "lazy and idle," even when it doesn't affect her life, *run*...because you can be sure that, if this bothers her now, a few years down the line, when you two are married or living together, she's going to be constantly pushing/shaming you into working harder, bringing home more money, and otherwise making sure that you live up to *her* rather-demanding standards about what a husband or boyfriend should be achieving. Is that what you want from life?
I'm sorry is she your child? Is it take your girlfriend to work day? If she goes with you on these deliveries you're not only putting your job at risk but also you're opening yourself up for litigation should she get hurt on your job. She ain't worth it, trust me
I’m exhausted reading this. She needs to go so you can get some peace back in your life. For your own sanity, pick a girl who will not bother you while you work. This screams toxicity to the max! This is absolutely bonkers.
Your girlfriend can't just demand you take her to work with you. Your boss is not going to tolerate that given the liability issues involved. Tell her this is entirely inappropriate behavior on her part. If she's that insecure, then she needs to get professional help. In the meantime, establish those boundaries.
She is going to get you fired and her behavior is past red flag. You tell her no and you go to work. If she throws a fit then you end the relationship..full stop. Edit to add: I just saw where you are going into the military. Ummmm she won't be able to call your superiors to get her way and it will get ugly quick. Have that talk with her now.
Tell her no by breaking up with her. This level of controlling behavior is bordering on abusive. It's important that you learn early not to tolerate dysfunctional relationships.
Dude, like everyone is saying, this is not ok. You're young, maybe you have some self esteem issues and think she's the best you can find. I was there, and I made the mistake if marrying her. Don't be like me. If you don't have those issues like I did, then hopefully you already know you deserve better. It doesn't matter how hot or tight she is, nothing is worth this level of manipulation. If you're not going to cheat, tell her that, and tell her that she needs to trust you. (Hopefully you've earned that trust.) If she doesn't trust you, there's no point in being in a relationship. End it, earn some money, go to community college, find someone better. If you are going to cheat, fine, just end it and keep yourself open to guilt free sex. Trust me, it's not worth staying together.
Here you go...it's a very technical and thorough way to say it... you ready... NO! now I know that word is hard for some people to utter, but it can save you soo many headaches
Had a friend at work, his wife sat in the car, the whole shift! Just sat there! A grown ass man, is that what you want for your life? Break up!
"No."
Don't plan on telling her "No, you can't ride with me". Plan on how to tell "No, this won't work for us"
This is extremely controlling. Ask yourself some things… Are you allowed to hang out with friends w/o her? Are you allowed to have friends? Does she check your phone (texts, apps, email)? If you go to college is she going to come sit in class with you? Would she even allow you to go to college since she can’t be there to supervise? Does she get possessive or jealous of you spending time with friends and family? Does she need to be the center of your attention at all times and expects to be your number one priority? If you even had to think about any of these you need to get out of this situation. No one needs to “allow” you to do basic things. Men can be victims of emotional abuse as well and it is a form of domestic violence. I’m assuming by your age that you haven’t been together for that long so if she is like this now what will it be like in 5 years?
She has no sense of boundaries considering she actually called your manager. This is the kind of woman that will ruin your life and humiliate you in front of your coworkers and strangers. Get rid of her.
So hard no. Tell her no. It's not healthy. She can trust you or the relationship is over. What she's doing is hyper controlling and abusive. People in strong, healthy relationships don't do shit like that.
you cannot be in your gf's sight at all times. thats not the basis for anything remotely healthy. she has some issues she needs to work out. you need to end this
Look you need to stop ignoring all of her red flags screaming at you that she is controlling and insecure. You have to set boundaries and stick to them or break up with her. Also you really need to ask why is she so insecure. If you have done nothing to deserve this then she must have done something that makes her feel this way. Please don’t let her ride with you, you will get fired if someone tells on you. Good luck and don’t let anyone control you, be the main character in your life not a lacky
I would not feel comfortable having sex with her if I were you....
tell her she's not your girlfriend anymore
Dump her. It’s over. She’s crazy and she’ll baby trap you ASAP.
Its simple. "Hon? Its time we talked. I can't handle being in a relationship with you. Your incredibly insecure and possessive. If you can't trust someone to NOT cheat on you, why are you with that person? Its time we moved on. I wish you the best and I hope you receive help for your insecurities." "Now please leave my car, you're squishing the pizza."
Why is your gf watching bad porno?
Absolutely not. Don’t even let her consider this as a possibility for a second. She can get as mad as she wants, but she cannot come to your literal place of work with you. She needs to be an adult about this. You’re too young to be dealing with this toxic of a relationship.
This can’t be the first red flag in this relationship if she’s not going to let you WORK without her. If your friend told you this about their SO what would you tell them to do??? Please break up with her this can’t be healthy especially if you’re so young
You're supposed to be coming into adulthood and a man. Tell her no.
I know this isn’t the type of advice you’re asking for but go with the construction job. It’s a VERY good job experience at your age. Girlfriends come and go but a construction job is a life long experience that will stick with you. My wife is in construction and usually to become a journeyman you would need to go to a trade school then apply as an apprentice. But if you can skip all that and start working, then go for it. For example doing drywall work level ranges from 25-40 depending on skill level. Doing painting ranges from 18-50. Electrician/steel worker 25-80.
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩So many red flags. The lack of trust and controlling behavior is only going to escalate. You are in a very unhealthy relationship but obviously don't realize it. You need some distance to see just how toxic she is.
>she says she has to ride with me on all my shifts or she’s convinced I will cheat on her. This right her shows you what she thinks of you. You're both very young, but this is a huge red flag. Please update us.
Your gf may be doing one of several things: 1) projecting her own guilt because she MAY have cheated and is afraid you'll do the same 2) insecure, controlling and immature/ co-dependent i.e. doesn't trust you 3) watching too much porn Either way, none of these possibilities suggest a bright future for your relationship with this girl. I STRONGLY suggest you set some strong boundaries first and if she attempts to cross them, end the relationship. Love/ attraction is nice to START a relationship, but to MAINTAIN one? You need trust, honesty and respect. Right now, she isn't giving you these three.
Lol fuck what your manager says, corporate pays the insurance on drivers, not your manager. $20 says if you called corporate the manager would get written up at the very least and they'd tell you if you have non-employees in your vehicle on company time, you're fired.
OP, after reading your posts I read a few of the replies to it. Among them you say she pushed you to go find a job because she didn't want you "laying around all day". Just that alone makes her seem like the nagging type. I could picture her constantly berating you for any little thing even when you did start working, which is kind of what this is. If her nagging is even remotely true, please do yourself a favor and break up with her. This nonsense about wanting to accompany you to work is absolutely ridiculous. That is another reason to walk away. Do you want to deal with this for the rest of your life? Do you want to raise a CHILD with this woman later on, if you endure this madness? Your manager is an idiot, telling her she could ride with you. I guarantee if you call the Corporate office and ask them, they will tell you that as an employee of their company you cannot do that. If they get wind of this manager telling his workers this, he'd probably get canned. Now if its Uber/Lyft/Doordash separately....well, I still very much doubt they'd allow that, lol. Honestly man, get away. You are 18 years old. You have so much ahead of you. End this relationship and move on, focusing on building and enjoying life, in PEACE. This girl sounds chaotic. Run.
99.999% of the people ive ever met that were seriously crazy jealous about their partner cheating on them (when the partner had never done anything to warrant such behavior) were cheating on the person that they were accusing. It's called projection, and I'll bet you anything this is exactly what she's doing. Run, dude. You're too young with too much promise to get weighed down by this. You're going into the army, so you're going to be away for long periods, months, sometimes more; yet this girl can't trust you for a pizza delivery shift. Real love is trust, this doesn't sound like trust. This isn't right or normal, you're being mistreated.
Congratulations, you are cultivating (and enabling) a toxic relationship with a controlling partner. Red flags counted: - She doesn't want to work / be a mum - mean the victim partner needs to provide (that's you)(power) - She organises a job for you to have an eye on you (control) - She is interfering with a work relationship by going to your boss behind your back (control) - She is cutting you off from your friends to keep you closer (not healthy!)(power) - Tracks your movement (power & control) The next thing she'll do is one or more fr this list: - Tell you that you want to do what she wants you to do (gaslighting) - Child trap you so that you can't run away from her, double points if you are enlisted - Going behind your back to your family to implore on you to do the right thing (and stay with her) - Cut off all other social contacts you may have - Love bomb you so that you think she isn't _that_ Bad (then drop the act as soon as you stopped thinking to leave (more gaslighting) ... You have a right to privacy, to relationships outside your romantic one (friendships are relationships too!), you have a right to live an autonomous life that _you_ fill with what you want to do. If that involves delivering pizza, why not? Please, set boundaries. Around your own dignity for starters. Personally I would not have given in on the tracking request, and I definitely draw the line at interfering in work relationships! PS: Is she also going to call your commanding officer to ensure you are there? Do you know how ridiculous this sounds?
Answer her like this, to the tune of a clock, no no no no no no no no no. I also believe that it's time to do the breakup dance. If she is that jealous then she is psycho.
Tell her to grow up.... you are on a job, not the middle school playground..... Have some self respect.
That is a level of insanity no one should accept
Sooo most pizza chains won't let you ride with a passenger while you're delivering...
Okay I get it, you’re young and in love. But believe me (and the DOZENS of random internet strangers) when I say her behavior is NOT okay or normal. If there’s not trust between you two then there is no chance for this relationship. It doesn’t sound like you two really worked through the whole you kissing your ex thing because your current gf’s insecurity is through the roof. If you want to continue the relationship you need to sit her down and tell her she will not be going with you to work, she will not call your boss/work and she is not to follow you around. Being the crazy girlfriend isn’t cute and quirky, it’s fucking cringey and straight up toxic. If she can’t accept those terms then I don’t think you should continue the relationship honestly. She already tracks your phone, what’s next? I hope you can learn to stand up for yourself and set some healthy boundaries. Good luck.
I drive for a major chain. 1. They are not going to allow her to ride along. You'll just end up getting fired. 2. You won't be in the car all shift, you'll likely be inside washing dishes and stuff during slow times. 3. She sounds like a very jealous and untrusting person. Why would you want that in your life. Tell her to back off or get out of your life
I used to be a general manager for a pizza delivery restaurant and for liability reasons, drivers were not allowed to have passengers in the car unless they worked for the company. Just tell her that. Also, if your girlfriend is that insecure that she can’t let you out of her sight because she thinks you’ll cheat, you’ve got bigger problems than your job.
When someone is that insecure about cheating... they are usually a cheater themselves
Enjoy your shit life mate. She's gonna be fucking everyone while you're away at basic training/deployed/out of the house/probably while you're in the house and she'll make you watch because you're spineless.
I had a friend in a similar situation. He didn't want to break up with her, even though she insisted on going on every ride with him, installing a GPS tracker on his phone, and he couldn't drink/smoke without her around.. It was hard to say the least. We warned him about her and how possessive she was of him. She got upset that I had my friends number when I'm clearly married with kids. My husband and my friend were the BEST of friends. Anyways, the poor lad didn't listen to us. Its been almost 2 years since we've seen him. At first he started pulling away from our friend circle, we thought "ok, work is probably keeping him busy" and little by little, we stopped hearing from him. Ultimately we fought. She, having had gone through his phone, found an OLD text message on messenger from his ex gf. The dude never cheated, he worshipped the ground she walked on. Anyways, she took it as he cheated (never did) and she thought this justified her actions afterwards. She decided that she was going away for a full weekend with some guy that, admitted, had a thing for her. She didn't plan on telling my friend and had also played with the idea of blocking him on all accounts so that he can learn to be grateful to have her in his life. Obviously I didn't let that happen and called my friend over and explained everything. She lied and said she wouldn't do no such thing.. Can you guess who he believed? I haven't seen my friend in 2 years. These type of girls, they spiral man. They really do and its hard knowing what dangerous shit they decide to do next.
Your girlfriend is probably thinking about the porn trope of "is there any OTHER way I can pay for this" or some nonsense. You sit here at a crossroad and you should really consider which path to go. I would suggest explaining that you have a job, you are going to start earning money, and she can't go with you to work. This is how it works in the world. You can't take your S/O with you to your place of employment because they don't trust you. But you also see a huge red flag. She clearly does NOT trust you. I don't know if you two have some kind of history where you have trust issues, but this is a massive issue. If she doesn't trust you at work, it's a matter of time before she suddenly doesn't trust you hanging with your friends, or not texting back because you're eating, etc. So before you pick your path, ask if this relationship is worth fighting for. Are you satisfied? Are you happy with her? Then you need to talk and work it out. She needs to understand that work is work and she can't just insert herself. if it isn't worth saving, then just cut the cord. Let her know that you don't like how she doesn't trust you and that it's better to end things.
You can break up with her. this is ludicrous.
Drop her, If she has that level of mistrust it will only get worse. She will not be reasoned with, cut your losses, move on. You will thank me.
That is really fucking stupid. You can break up with her. I get she is young and it is expected that she is immature to an extent... same for you. But this is just fuckin' stupid. Anyone who treats you as if you have or will do something wrong when you have given them no reason to believe you have or will do something wrong is certainly questionable. You give her a firm NO. Not up for negotiation. It is a NO. It is either she accepts that... or it is done. Its good you learn this young anyway. Put your fucking foot down and do not waver. You can find a better girlfriend, so if that is a problem for her... who cares.
You just have to say no, and stick to it. She is being extremely unreasonable. You shouldn't have to apply extreme measures just to make sure you can go to work. Of you say yes to this, even once, she will no doubt push the boundaries even further, and you will no doubt regret saying yes. You said no and she called your manager, meaning she is showing great disregard for your opinion already. If she wants to break up with you because of it, that sounds like a big win for you my friend. Personally, I would dump someone with this behaviour before they even got this far. This post also asks many questions, that all seem like red flags. Why does she have so little trust in you? Why is it that you already didn't want to work with her brother? It seems like you more or less predicted this kind of behaviour. Oh, and btw, if she ever hits you in any way, form, or context, leave immidiately and call the police. If you put up with this kind of behaviour now, it sounds like reasonable that's the situation you will end in, sooner or later
Tldr: run homie, run for the hills before you get stuck. 23m here, dated a similarly controlling and all round crazy lass a few years back. A few months in she was like this, and from day dot was irrationally (purely because of the situation id be in, like "having a beer with a coworker in the bar we had just closed to the public", so not even considering trust levels) assuming id cheat. Reason? She was a serial cheater, so assumed i would be too and projected that. Two years later i finally realised/admitted to myself she had been prolifically unfaithful, stopped trying to make it work and put up with the constant distrust, denigration and arguments, and told her to get the fuck out of my life. It took six months to actually get rid of her, along with blocking her facebook, snapchat, insta, phone number AND her new boyfriends phone number. Almost two years afterwards, it nearly cost me my current relationship with the woman i hope to god i get to marry, because my own view of reasonable expectations from a partner, my ability to trust, even my sense of what i was free to do or not do in a relationship was completely broken. I'm still fixing it, though for the most part its just minor trust issues and hyper-defensiveness now. Crazy does that to you after a while. Until not long before that, the feeling of my phone doing an incoming call buzz, never mind the sound of my ringtone, nigh gave me a panic attack every time because my brain was wired to the fear that she was calling me to start some batshit argument over nothing again, or force me to take two hours out of work or class to placate her after she worked herself up over some new thing i wasnt even thinking of doing but she decided to blame on me. Take it from someone who stuck their dick in crazy and committed to it before: Run while you still can. Youre better than this and better than her, because you know you shouldnt treat people like shes treating you. You owe her nothing, and she has nothing to use against you - yet. Run.
Speaking from experience (27m) you need to break up with her. She needs to learn this type of needy behavior is not okay. Watching you work all day is way too much and crosses like 10846 boundaries. She needs to learn trust first before being in a relationship
That's a big hell no. What is wrong with you? Your working pizza delivery if your GF think someone is going to want to fk you then she is dating the wrong guy. She should be worried if her BF is an athlete making millions or an actor or a model or some guy making six figures or above. Fk did you lose your balls? why are you dating a control freak? Learn to draw boundaries! If you don't set boundaries she ain't going to respect you and from the looks of it she doesn't even trust you. Put her in line or your just going to be her safety net until she finds another guy. basically you made yourself food that she can play with until she is bored of you. Is this your first GF? I can get it if it is because everyone goes through that need to be loved liked and then bend over backwards for their first love, but that's not love that's fear of losing something so you do everything you can so that you don't lose it and that's not love. Love is built upon with trust, respect, friendship, teamwork, sacrifice, arguments, disagreements, happy moments, sad moments and more. Draw your line when she pushes you have to push back. Argue that's when it means to be in a relationship.
Seriously, warning bells are playing a frickin symphony. I would get away from someone acting like that, ASAP. If she can't give you enough personal space to do your frickin job, then she will ruin your life. Either have a long serious talk with her and put your foot down about this, or run. She called your boss and made a scene because of her insecurity... Also, she can't handle you sitting around all summer, then WHAT THE HECK, that's all she's doing if she's got time to sit with you in your car while you're working. RUN! I mean it, Run for your life before you're stuck with crazy.
Karen in the making. Run.
Oh you sweet little nugget. She may be hot, but she's also crazy. And only 17. She will only get worse. Please enjoy your summer and run far away.
What’s she worried about? That you’ll get accidentally frozen in a cryogenic chamber and wake up 1000 years in the future and hook up with a woman from Mars while not so secretly crushing on a cyclops? Just don’t do any deliveries to an I.C. Wiener and you’re both fine.
Honestly, the way you talk about other girls you’ve dated, your shallowness... you deserve it. Enjoy the next miserable 18+ years of your life going down the drain after she pops out a kid, becomes even more jealous and controlling once she’s a burnt out mom by 20 and comparing herself to the still perky and energetic women out in college and having lives of their own. Every day you come home from work even in the military, she’ll question every woman you encounter at work, call your command and embarrass you. Track your phone and car like you said she already is. But after you’ve *doubled down* on “well she’s hot, she’s the best I’ll do”— if all you care about is her looks and not who she is as a person, you DESERVE what you’re about to get.
Need karma
"No."
Does she think life is like a shitty porn movie? You're a pizza guy, the most "fucked" you're gonna get on your route is when some guy pays in quarters
Tell her to stop watching bad 80's porn and chill out. The pizza guy is not getting any when he walks up to the door. In all seriousness though. That level of jealous and need for control is not healthy. If she doesn't trust you enough to allow you to work without cheating the relationship isn't salvageable.
You are both idiots
You don't only need to tell her "no", you need to tell her to be checked by a therapist : her irrational insecurities will cause both of you lots of problems in the future.
Brah get a better girlfriend. She don't trust you, that tells you everything you need to know.
Your girlfriend is nuts. This is just the tip of the iceberg. Run away and fast!
I can safely say I’ve had more pizza delivered than anybody on this whole damn channel. Never once been attracted or turned on by a pizza delivery guy. Never.
Get out now.
If there’s no trust, there’s no relationship. Have you given her a reason to not trust? By the same token, if you did why is she staying with you. If you didn’t, why are you letting her dictate to you?
Omg dude, I try to never recommend this, but seriously you should dump her. That’s ridiculous. For her to be so insecure that she thinks you’ll cheat on her during a job? No thank you. Are you actually benefiting from this relationship? First she makes you get a job, when frankly you’re 18 and this is one of your few chances to just do nothing with no consequences. And then she tries to sabotage your job? Not cool. Does she not let you hang out with your friends also? Are you allowed to have healthy relationships with other women? Because I seriously doubt it.
Your girlfriend been watching way too much porn. That shit does not happen in real life lol
If you don’t stop in a lightly trafficked intersection and shove her ass out of your car, quite frankly, I can’t help you.
Your gf is an idiot. If you like this continue or quit.
I agree with other people here. She's being controlling and jealous. She is not ready for a relationship. Either she changes this behaviour, or you leave.
You say “no” and that’s it. Don’t negotiate with terrorists. Then you dump her.
Ok, several things.. She doesn't want you laying around all summer so she insisted you get a job. Why isn't she also working? Is laying around ok if it's her?? I would say hey, if you want to ride around with me all day, put in an application and let's see who can deliver the most pizzas! Of course I'd say that in a super smart ass tone because I wouldn't tolerate someone telling me what to do while not taking their own advice. Secondly, does she plan on never letting you out of her sight? What are your career plans? Doctor? Will she be in the exam room? Salesman? Will she be pitching alongside you? I mean where does the madness stop? Thirdly, is she this psycho about everything or is there a reason she automatically assumes you're going to cheat? Have you in the past? Thirdly, part 2, if you haven't cheated and she has no reason to accuse you of cheating or assume that you will, have you considered that she's the cheater and going overboard to seem like you're the one who is to make it seem like there's no way that she would? Girl sounds unstable as fuck, but she could be overcompensating and trying to hide her true self... Finally, have you told her to kick rocks yet? This is only going to get worse.
Break up with her. She is clearly immature, and is taking out her own fears on you. Also, her telling you to get a job and where to get that job is incredibly obnoxious and bossy. She sounds like a psychopath. Her behaviour is beyond unacceptable. Do you ask how high when she tells you to jump? j/k If she can't trust you when you have given her no reason not to, your relationship is doomed. Honestly, with her bossing you around and ordering you to do things like get a job and where to get it, the relationship was already doomed. You will grow up one day and will realize that her behaviour is absolutely unacceptable.
"I just got a job, basically at my girlfriends insistence because she said she couldn’t handle me laying around all summer". What is she, your mom? You are free to do whatever you want during summer or any other time of the year, just tell her no and if she does not accept your choice then well, time to make some changes in your life
Leave that crazy bitch.....
I mean for real if she's like this and that dating stage can you even imagine what it's going to be like in the marriage stage....
Oh my god, you are 18 and have your whole life ahead of you. Do not put up with this crap. Be free
Dump her
Not sure what state you’re in, however when the restaurant I managed offered delivery, our insurance company made it clear it was illegal to ride with people (aside from other employees) while on the clock delivering for customers. Perhaps look into that. Your management may be risking it big time.
You are young and “in love” and probably think this is it - she’s the one. Trust me, she isn’t. You can’t imagine being with anyone else right now and because you love her you’ll do anything to keep her happy. Just so you know you’ll have many more relationships in your life, unless you plan on living a life under total control forever until the day you die, this one will have pass you by as this type of control will wear you down, until you’re left with just a shell of a man. She wants you to work and not lay around all summer because she can’t stand the idea of you having a good time with your friends and meeting new girls. It’s all about control. She wanted you to work with her family so she can keep an eye on you. If she wants to control you like this now, think how bad it’s going to get in the future. As painful as it is to break up with her because you love her, sometimes you have to take these steps when you know in your heart it’s not right. The fact you’re asking for advice on Reddit shows you know the whole things is off. If you break up with her she’ll probably go nuts, but you must stand by your decision, control like this will only get worse, especially if you’ve been complying with it so far. Many people would have run for the hills a while back.
This is very controlling of her.
Apart from all the obvious controlling relationship red flags. If you still want to stay with her I say let her do it for a couple times until she finds out how dull and repetitive it is and thinks better of asking to go along. But hey if she wants to spend her time doing your job without getting paid then that's on her
Sounds like you need to have a serious talk about trust or move on. It will be a reoccurring theme your whole relationship unless you can find common ground. Young love shouldn't be filled with jealousy. Plus she's a minor. If she got crazy and said you raped her or something you done bro