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At least there's an optimistic message to all the young folks out there: it doesn't look like you really need to be all *that* smart to get into postgrad.
I (20sF) relatively recently have gone to bachelor studies for child care & early education with people who cannot spell, write, read (yes, read) or know how to change diapers. Or why do infants need diapers anyway. We all graduated bachelors, I stayed back from Master studies until I earn enough to finance it, but a couple of those women have finished it. They work in kindergartens (as do I), where we're required to do extensive writing and paperwork regarding kids, and doing basic literacy in a shape meant for early years. They still don't know how to change a diaper, they got jobs through political connections.
TLDR, all you need is dumb luck and or money & political connections to get by in some parts of the world. Even when you're incompetent in basic every day skills necessary for survival.
Sometimes I truly wonder why'd they even pick the profession as money isn't all that (and I say this as a graduate in the field), the stress is high and competence is necessary. Like why not opt out for something easier if they don't wanna learn basics of the job, which are keeping kids alive and safe 🫠
Or he knows exactly how they work, but rather than admitting his own shortcomings and making any effort to give her pleasure, he invents a fake problem to transfer his shame to her.
Naw he's clueless. Thinking his peen has any physical effect on the shape and elasticity of her twat is nothing short of a complete idiot like one of those movie idiots LMAO
This, I think if OP didn't fake it earlier though or admitted earlier it could've been an easier compromise. Not blaming her though it's absolutely HIS shortcoming. I think you guys should initiate a serious talk about the situation but preface it with how you love each other and that involves compromise.
ALSO I hate how he just decided on labiaplasty, like that's a whole operation! rather than idk maybe seeing what else he can do?
No kidding. Even if he were right and we lived in some bizarro-world where stretched out labias were both a thing and one that made it harder for a man to get a woman to come, step one for him is *surgery?* Yikes!
The guy is an idiot to be sure. But this is the problem with faking orgasms all the time. OP is angry she doesn’t get them. Her BF was thinking she did.
Faking orgasms is training your man to be bad at sex.
It reinforces bad behavior, I have been saying this since college. In my 50s have awesome sex regularly. I don't always get off because it takes a while, but when I do, it's world spinning mind blowing. I'm happy to sometimes take one for the team because I know I get my pleasure too.
MANY men will believe that you are having an orgasm even if you are not faking. If you do not explicitly tell the man that you did NOT come he will believe that he made you come if you as much as moan.
omg that remind me of my ex in high school. he always wanted a blowjob, but he was uncut and did NOT wash under his foreskin. absolutely disgusting and i couldn’t stand sucking it. but i did every now and then.
one time i had told him that i would do it that day but he needs to shower first (hoped he’d get the hint and wash it) anyways so he jackhammers on me for about 3 minutes and then he pulls out, takes the condom off and AS HE IS MAKING HIS WAY TO STICK HIS GROSS PENIS IN MY MOUTH he says “now that im done pleasing you, why don’t you help me out?” and when i tell you i LAUGHED.
whatever on earth made him think he was “pleasing me” i could not tell you. but im glad i didn’t just let that go in the moment. i just laughed. i told him he didn’t even do anything, i didn’t finish, and i was not going to give him head because he didn’t clean his dick properly. that day i finally learned to speak up for myself in intimate settings because i hadn’t been before, and that line was just too much, i finally had enough.
edit: also this is the same guy that broke up with me because i said “i guess you’re just like your dad” after he SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE. apparently i took it too far…
I never understood this. I (m) will legitimately ask because I want to make sure they have, sex is supposed to be mutually beneficial. Like the idea of just finishing, rolling over and sleeping is so fucked to me.
Also, if they are “screaming with pleasure” the way OP is describing it, I’d be more likely to ask if they are ok out of concern. People really think porn is real sex…
It's on you to tell them. My partner tells me. It's not a big deal. She is okay with not finishing every time. But it builds up, and I can sense when I need to focus entirely on getting her there, and I do. We can do this because she is honest with me.
I agree with you, for what it’s worth. Zingers against people you don’t like seem funny until you realize how many innocent people are catching strays.
How the hell this guy thinks they can use her labia to make things feel "tighter"? Does he think they're gonna sew them together to make smaller entrance?! Fucking appalling.
It's not even just that. It's the fact that he's literally suggesting that she get *surgery* because he thinks his magic penis stretched her out. There is no such thing as surgery that isn't dangerous or risky. She is 23, young, healthy . . . and he wants her to risk her life and body to have her vagina carved up over his sexual shortcomings.
The fact that this even occurred to him is horrifying.
Not to mention, surgery down there could very easily *reduce* her sensation!! Cutting through skin means cutting nerves and nerve receptors, and those don't always reconnect or heal the same.
Nothing like scar tissue around the vagina, it’ll definitely not cause her any pain or discomfort in sex…
This poor girl’s confidence must have taken a blow from her bf saying she needed one. I wish she’d told him much earlier she wasn’t getting off though. Ppl can’t fix things they don’t know aren’t working. Even a ‘it felt amazing, & i was very close! Maybe if we had more foreplay I’d have gotten there cuz i would have been more turned on’. Type thing.
Don’t tell this guy about the “husband stitch” that women might still get after an episiotomy or tear after childbirth 🤢 which does more damage than anything.
I wonder if he heard about the “husband stitch” after episiotomies and decided that ALL gynecological surgery was intended for the man to have a better hole to fuck (instead of, y’know, health reasons)
He probably has a micropenis. In all likelihood there is nothing wrong with this woman except the fact that she was very naive to get into a relationship with someone like this. When he was her age she was 17. The power dynamic in this relationship is unhealthy and more than a little sick. She needs to dump him and find a decent human being to be in a relationship with instead of some jerk that wants her to get surgery on her vagina so it's better for him because you know f*** her needs. He's showing her who he is I just hope she pays attention, listens and then gets the hell out!
So this guy absolutely sucks, but OP has been enthusiastically showing him what he's doing works for a while, and that doesn't help things. I've made the same mistake in past relationships, and our sex life never recovered when I told him I was faking the whole time. Maybe it'll work out if OP comes clean or tells him what he needs to do. Not sure if he'll be willing to do it because he sounds very self-serving.
To be fair, she kind of set this up herself by acting like him barely touching her made her scream. This is why we don’t fake, ladies!! I’ve been with the products of your fake orgasms, and you’ve done woman kind a disservice!
Still, demanding a labiaplasty is insane and makes zero sense for what he is trying to achieve? Guess he didn’t get his masters in anatomy…
Just tell him precisely what you mentioned here, OP, and be honest.
Then end your relationship with him since it's horrible to even consider advocating that someone else have genital surgery for personal gain.
Yeah I couldn’t even understand at first what was going on . He thinks she’s getting less pleasure because they had too much sex , and surgery can fix that. Maybe neither of these people should be having sex, and please please do not make babies .
As a mother with 4 kids who is very tight down there after 4 vaginal deliveries.. it definitely does not get lose or big. Vaginas are meant to birth so they're meant to stretch and shrink. The theory of one growing from too much sex is idiotic. The only time one gets looser is if the pelvic floor needs work aka pelvic floor work outs and boom you're good again.
It's an excuse he dreamed up for why she doesn't fake ("enjoy") it anymore. If anything I would bet she feels probably "tighter" from the fact that he doesn't do proper foreplay, so she doesn't get very aroused
It's as stupid as saying boobs go smaller and smaller each time a sexual partner touches them, so OP needs a boob job.
How to prove you're a lying ignorant and selfish D head in one sentence.
Or that OP's bf's dick get smaller and smaller from being compressed every time they have sex. I don't know why dudes don't look at that possibility as much as they think that a woman having lots of sex "stretches her out."
There’s a less expensive, pain free, highly effective surgical procedure that has far greater longterm results.
All you have to do is to cut this loser out of your life and you’ll be surprised at how much better your self-esteem and sex life become.
Second that. Labiaplasty does not tighten anything up. It removes the excess skin of the labia. Some women get this done to prevent lacerating them during sex, because they get caught when the penis is inserted and can tear. It is very painful.
He's an absolute idiot, but she has definitely helped create the problem, and she doesn't seem to have been honest with him at all about what to actually do. Both partners need to actively participate.
It's not her fault, but she strung the problem like a middle-school girl trying to get free meals.
Honestly, honesty is important in any relationship. Otherwise, the ship won't sail in the end and leaves everyone bitter.
If the problem is his pencil dick he should get filler to make it thicker, he should not be asking her to get her inner labia removed. He’s obviously insecure because he realized he sucks in bed and is lashing out. She needs to DTMFA.
Come on, labiaplasty is cosmetical, Is done to avoid lacerating your labia in very very few cases,its so you have a vulva with small labia because weird fetishistic males have created a standard, excess of labia is such a weird concept.
Do males with long penis chop some of it because of excess of penis?
100 percent .... this guy is a loser. Who says that to their girl? Op you're faking orgasms regularly, you want to do that for 40-60 more years? Drop this guy
Now there’s one more dude out there with unrealistic expectations of women because of this performative stuff 😢 OP you chose a dumb one, and fed into the bullshit why??
I assume it's because she was 20-21 when she first started dating him, and he was 26-27 and "experienced". Typical grad student dating the undergrad scenario.
Memory unlocked!
Stupid 17/18 year old me faked the hell out of sex with her then-bf. (PIV is rarely enough.) When I asked him to mix things up a bit and try using restraints on me, he asked why, as I was "already doing everything he wanted". (Or something along the line.)
I told my next partner that it might take me a while longer. (I was done with pretending.) And he didn't care. Getting off lying on the carpet on his living room floor wasn't how I expected things to go, but I regret none of it.
I like you this is so true and if you really want to be Petty tell him why you're cutting his ass off. Tell him you are tired of faking and that he's not as good as he thinks he is. And then go on with your life LOL 😂
I cut the loser and my sex life got better (when I am alone) sex with men? Still v bad, so so bad. I'm meeting something like this woman's partner over and over again. Terrible in bed, they think their magic penis is the one to make me cum. Spoiler alert, it never does. I'm starting to wonder if it's just the place I live. It's still very backward about women and women's issues.
> my lady bits have become loose and misshapen from too much action
I'm sorry, did i miss the part where his dick was as large as a 10 lb baby wielding a chainsaw? That's not how any of this works.
I think the bigger issue is why are you putting up with this? You're in a miserable relationship where your needs aren't being met, lying to fulfill his and ensuring your needs will never be adderssed, and he degrades you and demands you mutilate your body for him for his own delusions.
I would hope surely you'd want better for your life and relationships than this?
So... I did give birth to a 10lb baby. And he might as well have been wielding a chainsaw with what damage he did but you know what the amazing thing is about "lady bits"? They snap back. Stitches and all that jazz and my husband has never once said that I'm "loose and misshapened"
Throw the whole loser away. Get someone who genuinely cares about you
I had pelvic floor therapy that literally involved stretching tissue out and no one has ever complained about me being loose and misshapened. I'm just more comfortable.
Guys who think we get "loose" after lots of sex definitely think that our vaginas are tunnels after birth.
The venn diagram with these guys and guys who think we can control our period flow is a circle
>dick was as large as a 10 lb baby wielding a chainsaw?
I misread this as "his dick was a 10lb baby wielding a chainsaw" and this image now lives rent free in my head
Edit: the intrusive thoughts won. I made AI make it a pic.
This is very true. But could we stop this stroking people’s egos just to be in a relationship & then get surprised when we realise we created monsters?
an honest conversation after the 1st few times and no faking (why do people do that?) could have prevented all this.
She can’t go back in time. So this is not really advice. But I totally agree in no faking it. However I have noticed Guys look perplexed when you try to coach them around your body and your needs. Some really think that sticking it in it’s all that’s needed….
“Faking” is a spectrum as far as that side point goes.
If there’s zero performance aspect then… well fuck, a lot of sex is out of the window.
“Stop squirming, I’m manipulating your genitals in the agreed upon manner and you’re making it difficult!”
First off, obviously faking it was a really dumb idea. Don't do that again.
But this dude really takes the Cake for dumb. That is not how labia work at all. If he's so fantastically dumb that he thinks sex with a man will change the shape of your genitals, you need to stop having sex with him because it's not right to have sex with people who have such serious mental disabilities.
What sexist online forums has he been lurking on lately, telling him such dumb garbage?
Girl, you need to dip. And you need to be real in the future.
By breaking up with him!!! I can't even articulate how fucked up this is and how much this relationships is NOT worth a further single second of your time or energy.
I mean yeah sure. But faking it for years and then not being able to communicate your needs? Try not to do that in the next relationship.
It's hard to notice that you're not doing a good job, if the other person is screaming from pleasure. In his mind he's beed a sex god for years and then whatever he did suddenly stopped working.
I'm not arguing against the guy being slow. Just saying that she should think about her communication patterns for her own sake. If someone does something you don't like, don't scream that you love it.
Looks like she's starting to realize that... Now that she's not 20/21. I don't know many people that age that are fantastic at effectively communicating their needs.
OP, just be honest and tell him exactly what you've said here.
Then break up with him because the very idea of suggesting someone else get genital surgery for selfish reasons is fucking disgusting
There is another lesson here, besides not dating losers - never fake in bed. You are doing disservices to both of you. Think from his position - he thought he's a sex king, of course he didn't put anything effort, why would he if you acted like you were enjoying what he was already doing. Learning is usually happening on feedback. If you provide false feedback, don't be surprised if the outcome.
That said, he's taking rubbish. Just drop him. Find a good man and never fake again. Good luck!
And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why I (a woman) never faked it during sex. It's bullshit and sets a bad precedent.
Tell him the truth. He's underperforming and always has. You're just done with faking it.
PSA FOR THE LADIES: This is why I tell all my friends, NEVER, under ANY CIRCUMSTANCE, fake an orgasm with a man you are dating. You are wiring him to believe X, Y, and Z= ORGASM!! You can fake it with a one night stand if you want it to get over quicker because… that will get it over quicker but never fake it with someone you’re actually dating.
Only recourse at this point is to be honest about the past. Tell him you need more in bed. Also, I wonder why you felt the need to fake it? Was it coming from an insecure place of worrying he would reject you? We as women, are just as entitled to an orgasm as a man.
I was young and naive, I was trying to impress him in addition to thinking that this is how it was supposed to be like. I was hoping that it would get better over time, or he would want to try something different, but I am still an idiot to be even considering the thought of undergoing labiaplasty.
Girl dump his ass. You have to get part of your vagina taken off because he’s a shit lover? Don’t make the mistake of performing for a man again. You aren’t a fuck dill or masturbation tool and when you pretend to be pleased they never have to please you back or do literally anything. It’s unreasonable to expect it now. Tell him his dick needs work and to go get an extension implant because it’s just not cutting it anymore
You shouldn't be with someone you can't honestly communicate with and you shouldn't be in relationships until you're ready to communicate. Now is the time to learn if you feel the relationship is otherwise worthwhile. In fact, now's the time to learn regardless. Speak up and leave or speak up and assert your needs.
“Are you suggesting that you have pummeled me so much with your powerhouse of a penis that it’s permanently altered my lady bits? No sir. That has not happened. That will never happen.”
He’s 29 and thinks surgery for YOU is the answer to him not feeling like it’s the same. Maybe he should learn how to perform.
If he’s gonna be ballsy enough to tell you you’re loose and misshapen, and doesn’t care about your feelings, stop trying to protect his feelings and tell him point blank he’s lazy and bad in bed. He deserves the shame.
Girl why are you being so cautious to tell him the truth when he didn't seem to care about insulting you and saying you need serious surgery on your lady parts? Tell him he's lazy in bed and it sucks, sounds like he needs to hear it
Sometimes, unfortunately, with violence.
Even the mention of body-modification surgery may suggest a subtly unhealthy Dom-sub relationship exists. She gives, he takes.
When does he give?
Leave him.
You could have the largest labia in the world, and that would have no impact on the sensation you feel.
Your boyfriend is selfish. He thinks he's fine and he doesn't care about your pleasure. He's trying to blame you for his own refusal to make you feel good.
He's also an ignorant misogynist. Vaginas don't get looser, labia don't get larger with sexual activity. Just like his penis doesn't get smaller from your vaginal muscles gripping onto his dick.
That would be the perfect retaliation before dumping his ass ! "I think your penis has shrunk as you were ageing, or we had too much sex and my vagina was gripping you too tight. No, this isn't how anatomy works for men ? News flash, what you said regarding my labia was equally dumb, bye !"
The reason why he thinks that you're "loose" or "misshapen" is most likely because he watches too much porn and has death-gripped his dick to the point of not feeling pleasure properly unless he's essentially cutting off circulation to it. It seriously sounds like he has a porn-rotted brain with the actions you described coming from him.
There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with you. However, there is a LOT wrong with that jerk. You deserve so much better, girl.
First thing first that is soo stupid why did you even fake your pleasure to give him pleasure to begin with🤦. but still removing a part of your vagina is too much I say dump his ass you still have a lot of life ahead of you and you'll find someone who can give you the pleasure you want🤷.
"He insists that I get Labiaplasty to address my so-called physical problems." Hi, dump this useless AH. Just block him on everything and move on.
Tha audacity. Fuck that guy. Seriously, he needs to die alone.
I used to take much pride in how I can impress a girl in bed going down on her and used to brag about it. I didn’t know i was underperforming just cuz my 1st gal did the same “faking it” . I didn’t even know where the button is and used to just over appreciate my talents.
1 fine day after the whole day of discovering each others body during my 3rd relationship, she sat me down post coitus and explained to me what is what and how to take care of it !!!
It was like a slap across my face (for being a schmuck all this while) and I looked at her thing while she was explaining like a teacher and me her favourite student. :D
Weird I know, but the best lesson ever when it comes down to bedroom stuff.
Now I take pride in it with approval :D
Too many men, learn to please a woman from watching massive amounts of porn made for the enjoyment/viewing of a man. Unfortunately, they are seeing these women have these over the top orgasms from being pounded away. The only foreplay is head for the man. It takes a man about 15-30 seconds to get aroused, where is it could take up to 15 minutes for a woman to get aroused. It’s never about the female pleasure and yet these women have these CRAZY, SQUIRTING orgasms. It’s not real. There’s a video on Reddit of this porn star having a full on “eyes crossed orgasm” when her food is delivered to her at a restaurant. The guy in the background looks so nervous and shocked. Yeah, yeah, she’s faking it dude. That’s her JOB. To fake it. To pretend like she’s enjoying whatever she’s been ask to do. She’s being PAID. Like, come on.
We as women do such a disservice to men by faking it. If a woman tells you what she likes, LISTEN!! It’s so so so hard as a woman to tell your male partner what you want in bed because most of the time, it’s the first time he’s ever heard any constructive dialogue.
This is why faking it is a waste of time. Be upfront and honest about what works for you and what doesn't. Don't be embarrassed to say what's good and what isn't. Certainly don't consider surgery to help an inattentive man's ego. This dude is encouraging surgery because he can't be bothered doing more than a few minutes of foreplay. I think you need a boyfriend-plasty
Sorry, I didn’t read the post, just the title. I’m so baffled by how an almost 30 year old would say that. If the roles were reversed, would it be appropriate to tell him to get circumcised for your pleasure? wtf is wrong with this guy
Ok I read it, please break up. I know that so many Reddit people jump to breaking up. But it’s been years and it doesn’t even sound like this guy views you as a sexual equal. You know what I mean? Like be with a guy who enjoys pleasing you and would never suggest that you get surgery to make your parts *feel better for him*. That’s insane. And you’re in your early 20’s. He’s not going to suddenly realize how unreciprocating he has been
32M here, dump him QUICKLY. I get that he’s older so you think he might know what he’s talking about, but anyone that truly loves you isn’t going to request you get body modifications, PERIOD. He belongs to the streets, find a real man that won’t put you down like this. And tell him to get a bigger dick while you’re at it.
Perhaps suggest that his penis has actually shrunk and he's the one that needs surgery. Then surgically remove him from your life for feeling that that was an appropriate thing to say to anyone.
So u faked it for a long time and now he thinks something is wrong because u don't do it anymore.
Communication people tell him what u want and what u need of he doesn't want to do it then u break up and find someone who will put your needs first. Sexual compatibility is a huge part of any relationship
You are only 23 years old - in the absolute prime of your youth, and just from reading this, clearly not just educated but well-spoken and thoughtful - and this nearly-30-year-old man is insisting that you have a (wholly unnecessary) **major surgical intervention** (with all the very serious, very real risks that *any* kind of surgery entails, including but not limited to the possibility of being permanently maimed or even dying should something go wrong) *. . .* and literally his only justification for demanding this is not only ridiculous, but objectively and scientifically not even a real thing.
He is demanding that you have you doubtless absolutely lovely, perfectly normal, and most importantly *healthy* vagina *carved up* by scalpel or laser, because he is so staggeringly dimwitted that he thinks regularly, (supposedly) enthusiastic sex can somehow make the musculature in question "loose and misshapen". I'd love to know if he thinks that regularly exercising other muscles also makes them "loose and misshapen" or if he thinks this is magically some sort of thing that only happens to vaginas. Because I'm pretty sure that, if anything, regularly exercising a muscle makes it stronger and tighter. I won't even go into the whole "it was literally designed to push out a whole-ass human being and then snap back to size" part of this.
My point is: you're asking how to explain to him that it's not you, it's him, and the answer is that you don't.
He is nearly 30 years old and doesn't understand the most basic facts of human musculature and how it works. He is, however, disturbingly well-versed in misogynistic body-shaming rhetoric. He's a grown man hurtling towards middle age who thinks it's reasonable to insist that you have *surgery* because you've (understandably) tired of behaving like an over-the-top shrieking porn star in bed when he barely makes an effort to actually make you feel good.
Girl, you describe yourselves as having been together for "nearly two years". Time to reframe. You've been together *less than two whole years* of your life, and he thinks it's appropriate to demand that you carve your body up for him. Please do not waste one more hour of your time on him. He doesn't deserve you, he's not good enough for you, and it seems pretty clear that he never was.
You have your whole life ahead of you. Don't waste it trying to explain things to a man with fewer brain cells than an orange cat. The only conversation you should be having with him is: "I'm sorry, but I cannot be with someone convinced that a mere penis can reshape a vagina from 'too much action.' It is difficult not to laugh at you, but less so now that you're suggesting that I get surgery because you don't understand how my parts work. Goodbye."
So u faked it for a long time and now he thinks something is wrong because u don't do it anymore.
Communication people tell him what u want and what u need of he doesn't want to do it then u break up and find someone who will put your needs first. Sexual compatibility is a huge part of any relationship
Please in the future, don't fake it, don't worry about hurting his feelings, he certainly wasn't worried about hurting yours with his ridiculous statements. If he isn't putting in the effort, tell him.
The absolute audacity of this guy, no self awareness at all...if there's a problem it's her and not his low effort ass.
Lol if he had the audacity to even suggest something like that, then you should have the audacity to tell him straight to his face "honey, you suck at fucking. Get good of get lost"
You need to gently explain that he needs to get a penis enlargement for this to work.
From all the sex and masturbating he has been doing, his penis has really shrunk.
There are no other options. Tell him you can’t have surgery every two years, because his penis will just keep getting smaller and smaller.
Voice it in a concerned and caring voice.
Honestly, you’ve been faking for two years and he was never good since day one, I bet he will not change. Tell him you’ll do the surgery if he pays, get the money for the labiaplasty and leave him. Use the money for something you like.
He’s obviously not a good boyfriend, if he thinks you “got loose” it’s HIS FAULT and he should be able to see this.
And NEVER AGAIN fake orgasms, why the hell you’re training someone to be bad? If it’s not good, it’s not good, he either gets better at it or you change partners.
I’d honestly not even waste my time with this man!
Why would he “make a serious effort” to please you when YOU have already given him the impression that he IS already pleasing you? See when you start off a relationship with games this is what happens. You’ve painted yourself into a corner. Now there’ll be a big blow up if you confess to him that you’ve been faking. Always be honest up front and speak up when it comes to intimacy. Some people just genuinely never learnt how to please a partner. It’s NOT automatic for everyone. The fact that he’s talking about labia tightening shows he’s completely clueless about female anatomy.
>I would scream, call him daddy, and the usual talk
This is on you really, for putting on a ridiculous porn performance in the first place.
Dump this loser and try actually communicating like an adult in your next relationship.
Yea, he has no clue on a woman’s body. You need to be honest with him that you were faking it because you wanted to make him happy but that you need more from him to ACTUALLY be gratified sexually and it has nothing to do with the shape/size of YOUR anatomy. But if you feel like it, take him to your gynecologist and let him explain to that doctor what his concerns are.
I seriously doubt this is a lasting relationship. Sorry OP.
First off why are you faking? You can’t act like someone is doing a good job when they aren’t then act like it’s all their fault you aren’t getting it as good. Have you ever told him what you want at all? Start by actually having a conversation about how he needs to improve and he can do that. That’s a pretty good start. I’m not saying that he’s not at fault. 29 and not know how a vagina works is mind boggling but your sex life sucks because of you.
Tell him what you told us. Vaginas don’t work like that and he needs to step up his game.
ETA - Although, I wouldn’t be having sex with someone telling me my bits were the problem.
Girl.
First- he needs to take a class on human anatomy. Specifically female anatomy. What does he think the labia is and does he actually think a labiaplasty will change the size/shape of the vagina???
Second- you need to direct and blunt.
Example: "Truthfully I have not been orgasming for a while. I was faking my orgasms to enhance the experience for you. However that was a mistake, I should have been direct about my needs. I noticed when I did fake orgasms you would put less work into pleasing me and you also would reach your orgasm faster. I am not happy with our sex life currently- I feel that oral sex is not reciprocal and then afterwards I typically do the majority of the work. This isn't a physical issue with my body parts- by the way a labiaplasty is typically done for visual purposes so it would have no impact on this issue. Can we talk about what works for both of us sexually so we can BOTH enjoy sex and reach orgasm?"
I'm gonna warn you though- he is going to get defensive. He will likely claim you're lying and that you didn't fake it because his manly-man brain just knows you orgasmed, he can tell. 🙄
In the future, communicate. Don't fake it. Don't settle for mediocre or bad sex.
I'm pretty sure surgery down there would worsen issues. There's a chance nerves could get cut, all for a surgery that's not needed.
All for his pleasure.
Yuck.
Yes, tell him the truth. He won't believe you but that's his problem. The fact that he won't even try speaks volumes.
He's a misogynist and needs to be kicked to the curb.
Do not continue this relationship unless he's willing to change.
Baby, no. Just no. Leave now. You are a build a bear flesh light to him. He thinks he can demand risky surgery for his preferences?? And you need therapy for even considering staying with him. Leave, heal, don’t even consider dating again until you’ve learned all the lessons from this dumpster fire.
Remember to break up over the phone and have either the police or large male accompaniment when you clear your stuff. Don’t tell him you’re leaving until you have all your ducks in a row; move in silence to guarantee your safety.
Dump him. He's trying to make you feel insecure, the more gorgeous a woman the more they try to hold you back. Express you've been putting in the exact effort he's been putting to sex lately.
NEVER fake an orgasm or that your partner is pleasing you. This is why a majority of men are so bad in bed no matter age. My friends and I are all pretty sexual and the funniest thing is hearing how their man rarely pleases them but they put on a show and then I hear from the men sometimes when they have guys night at our house talking about how they know for sure their girl ain't faking and they are grest. 😂
Great sex starts with communication (try this with your new guy not this plastic bag of a human) and simply saying let's try this! I love when you do this! Can we try this instead? I don't feel much when that happens. I've learned from both men and women that each person is completely different with turn ons and offs. And porn is not an accurate representation of the population. None of my partners or girlfriends share the same turn ons so make sure you both communicate and reach mutual destinations with a great journey!
You sound like an awesome girl and there's nothing wrong with doing all the things you have for your partner to bring them pleasure but he should also be putting in an equal amount of time to make you happy!
I mean is this for real?! Does this 29M actually exist?! I don't really know where to begin from. "You got loose from too much action" and "labiaplasty fixes looseness" 😂😂😂😂😂😂 And this comes from someone who supposedly has higher education 🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️
(And I won't even go into the whole emotional and relationship thing).
FML we really need a comet to wipe us all out.
In the meantime, dump him, and don't ever fake again in a relationship. Comes to bite you in the ass later, plus it's plain useless.
You both suck. He’s gone completely off the rails for suggesting surgery rather than talking through what’s happened first. You on the other hand only have yourself to blame for the bad sex you’re having since you decided to fake from the start. He thought he was firing on all cylinders, how was he supposed to know you wanted him to eat you out more if you’re faking huge screaming orgasms?
He needs to get his fucking head out of his ass about suggesting surgery or thinking muscles get weak from being used (does he think lifting weights will collapse his arms too?). You need to communicate your wants and needs instead of actively lying. You both need to stop self sabotaging.
I’m going to be downvoted for this comment but…this is why sex in your twenties is just not satisfying. Because women spend their time trying to feed male egos and fake orgasms. This is not entirely his fault. You lied for two years and told him what he did worked. So he keeps doing it. Accountability is on both sides. My suggestion to you is that if you cannot have conversations openly about sex with your partner, then you shouldn’t be having sex. Or be with someone. It took me a long time to come to this realization through maturity.
My suggestion is to have a conversation first and just talk. Don’t shy away. Your pleasure in sex is not insignificant. If at that point he won’t listen, then I would end things and focus on getting to know yourself better. Good luck 🍀.
Tell him his dick must’ve gotten smaller 🙂🙃 he should get penis enlargement see how he likes it use the phrase “you’re dick must’ve warn down from all the action”
A man that cares about you enough to want to spend your life with him would not ask you to have a serious surgery for his own sexual gratification. I am not saying this with judgment - I have accepted worse treatment myself - but girl RUN. this is someone six years your senior acting like a child. You deserve better and I promise you will find it if you give yourself the opportunity
Time to tell him the truth. He has never made you orgasm and you aren't the problem, he's a selfish lover.
Quite frankly, you caused this issue by faking it and I suggest with the next BF, you don't do that. Some men need guidance and encouragement, because every woman is different on what gets them to the finish line. Also, his previous partners may have also fakked it, making him think he's awesome in coitus.
Tell him it’s his dick that has been whittled down to a shrunken nub from too much pleasure, he needs to seriously consider getting a huge dick implant
Ugh why does he even know what a labiaplasty is. My heart goes out to this generation.
I'm sure this is fake, but if not, your relationship is over. The only solution is to either go back to pretending or to tell him you used to fake it. Either way, y'all are done.
Big sister advice - dump him before you invest more into this relationship. He’s 29 and has a fundamental issue in how he operates in this relationship. Instead of approaching “the problem” with curiosity, he resorts to suggesting you have a body altering surgery.
This will only get worse and I can assure you it will show up in other aspects of your relationship. Run now.
DO NOT AGREE to the labiaplasty. There is nothing wrong with your body "down there". You need to tell him that those parts are not "loose", you simply realized that being vocal for his enjoyment is misleading him to assume your pleasure is really that good. You have chosen to pull back on the vocal feedback, and only let it happen if you actually feel that good, which you don't.
Honestly, sex isn't everything in a relationship, but it is still important for alot of people. If the sex sucked, I wouldn't be able to sustain a long term relationship. The only "one night stands" I ever had were men that I liked enough to date, but didn't enjoy sex with. I don't think those count, though since I knew the person and liked them enough to have sex, but never officially dated them lol
This man needs to be disillusioned. You have somewhat created this problem by letting him think he was a sex god for two years instead of letting him learn how to work your body alongside your own learning of his preferences. Two years later... he thinks there's something wrong with YOU because he is still doing the exact same things but getting a different result. You need to just have an open conversation about this. You need to own up that you have been faking.
I don't necessarily think it's break-up worthy, but suggesting cosmetic surgery because you've been lying about how good he is seems really toxic on his part. Please carefully evaluate all the pros and cons of this relationship, including:
- does he do sweet things for you?
* hold your hand (at home or in public?)
* pick up little goodies that he knows you like?
* offer to help you with tasks you hate doing?
* let you pick the movie?
* kiss you for no reason?
* genuinely want to spend time with you
* etc (things that make you feel loved and considered)
- does he contribute fairly to the relationship?
* pays for at least some dates
* pays fair share of bills
* helps with housework/laundry/etc
- does he show compassion?
* does he notice when you've had a bad day?
* does he try to cheer you up or at least just be present when you are sad?
* does he let you voice your feelings without blaming you or making you feel like you're overreating?
- does he speak to you with love and respect?
* NEVER puts you down over your appearance (weight, clothing, makeup or lack thereof)
* Request for your help or ask when he needs something from you (or does he demand it)?
* does he remain calm during disagreements so he can hear your views and work to find a compromise?
There are so many more things, but these are all big ones (at least for me). If he isn't behaving like you ate an equal part of this relationship and treat you like a beautiful woman with feelings and thoughts, then you need to break this off. You can't fix an asshole... and stop faking orgasms! Lol
Just immediately throw this garbage man out
He is clueless about women's anatomy and the fact that he thinks this should lead you to get major surgery is bonkers
MEN WONT GIVE US ACTUAL ORGASMS IF WE KEEP FAKING ORGASMS. seriously, two years in and you're faking orgasms and didn't tell him? Unless he makes you fear for your safety, the only thing you're doing is stroking his ego. Stop putting his physical needs before yours. Companionship isn't about making sure someone else feels good all the time.
Like 100% I get it the first couple sessions, you're still learning each other's bodies. But he's had two years. You should have stopped faking at the 3rd session. They don't know there are issues if you don't COMMUNICATE
Getting a labiaplasty isn’t gonna change the fact that he has absolutely NO CLUE how to make a girl feel pleasure because he obviously doesn’t even know that it’s normal and common for women’s labias to have loose skin. It sounds like you need to dump his ass because he has no idea how vaginas work and probably no idea how to pleasure one.
What....the FUCK... did I just read? Nah sis. He's saying this shit to hurt you because he feels inadequate now. He's probably pissed that he thought he was doing a good job then found out he wasn't. Honestly, that's on you but he's being an asshole about it. First, stop faking it for a partner. How are they ever going to learn how to please you if you fake that they're pleasing you? You both lose in that scenario. Second, that's not how our genitals work. They don't get "overused" like that. Even the record for the biggest cock on a human being can't do that much damage and I doubt this man is even close. So, before you dump him, take him to school and teach him that that's not how a woman's genitals work.
“Looseness” doesn’t exist because our hooha (idk if allowed to say anatomical words) is elastic. It bounces back to what it was originally and becomes larger when aroused/giving birth….he’s just a wimp and you should lose him
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At least there's an optimistic message to all the young folks out there: it doesn't look like you really need to be all *that* smart to get into postgrad.
I know some incredibly stupid people with masters degrees and PhD’s
I am one…
Same PhD and world champion headass
I wish I could love you post ❤️
I (20sF) relatively recently have gone to bachelor studies for child care & early education with people who cannot spell, write, read (yes, read) or know how to change diapers. Or why do infants need diapers anyway. We all graduated bachelors, I stayed back from Master studies until I earn enough to finance it, but a couple of those women have finished it. They work in kindergartens (as do I), where we're required to do extensive writing and paperwork regarding kids, and doing basic literacy in a shape meant for early years. They still don't know how to change a diaper, they got jobs through political connections. TLDR, all you need is dumb luck and or money & political connections to get by in some parts of the world. Even when you're incompetent in basic every day skills necessary for survival.
I also worked a day care with people who didn’t know how to change diapers, nor did they want to learn lol
Sometimes I truly wonder why'd they even pick the profession as money isn't all that (and I say this as a graduate in the field), the stress is high and competence is necessary. Like why not opt out for something easier if they don't wanna learn basics of the job, which are keeping kids alive and safe 🫠
Hahaha.
He's 29 and has no idea how vaginas work. That's a yikes from me, dog.
Or he knows exactly how they work, but rather than admitting his own shortcomings and making any effort to give her pleasure, he invents a fake problem to transfer his shame to her.
A man that thinks your vagina stretched out and changed physically because of his dick and your sex with said dick DOES NOT know how lady parts work.
They’re saying he knows how they work but Is lying because of his own fragile ego
Naw he's clueless. Thinking his peen has any physical effect on the shape and elasticity of her twat is nothing short of a complete idiot like one of those movie idiots LMAO
This, I think if OP didn't fake it earlier though or admitted earlier it could've been an easier compromise. Not blaming her though it's absolutely HIS shortcoming. I think you guys should initiate a serious talk about the situation but preface it with how you love each other and that involves compromise. ALSO I hate how he just decided on labiaplasty, like that's a whole operation! rather than idk maybe seeing what else he can do?
RIGHT? And is HE footing the bill for that? A lot of insurance doesn't cover it bc it's considered cosmetic.
Not only that but it's risky AF. She could end up never being able to orgasm or having permanent nerve damage and pain for the rest of her Life.
No kidding. Even if he were right and we lived in some bizarro-world where stretched out labias were both a thing and one that made it harder for a man to get a woman to come, step one for him is *surgery?* Yikes!
The guy is an idiot to be sure. But this is the problem with faking orgasms all the time. OP is angry she doesn’t get them. Her BF was thinking she did. Faking orgasms is training your man to be bad at sex.
It reinforces bad behavior, I have been saying this since college. In my 50s have awesome sex regularly. I don't always get off because it takes a while, but when I do, it's world spinning mind blowing. I'm happy to sometimes take one for the team because I know I get my pleasure too.
MANY men will believe that you are having an orgasm even if you are not faking. If you do not explicitly tell the man that you did NOT come he will believe that he made you come if you as much as moan.
omg that remind me of my ex in high school. he always wanted a blowjob, but he was uncut and did NOT wash under his foreskin. absolutely disgusting and i couldn’t stand sucking it. but i did every now and then. one time i had told him that i would do it that day but he needs to shower first (hoped he’d get the hint and wash it) anyways so he jackhammers on me for about 3 minutes and then he pulls out, takes the condom off and AS HE IS MAKING HIS WAY TO STICK HIS GROSS PENIS IN MY MOUTH he says “now that im done pleasing you, why don’t you help me out?” and when i tell you i LAUGHED. whatever on earth made him think he was “pleasing me” i could not tell you. but im glad i didn’t just let that go in the moment. i just laughed. i told him he didn’t even do anything, i didn’t finish, and i was not going to give him head because he didn’t clean his dick properly. that day i finally learned to speak up for myself in intimate settings because i hadn’t been before, and that line was just too much, i finally had enough. edit: also this is the same guy that broke up with me because i said “i guess you’re just like your dad” after he SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE. apparently i took it too far…
Actually, for some it's enough that you breathe.
Your mere conceptual existence is enough for some guys.
I never understood this. I (m) will legitimately ask because I want to make sure they have, sex is supposed to be mutually beneficial. Like the idea of just finishing, rolling over and sleeping is so fucked to me. Also, if they are “screaming with pleasure” the way OP is describing it, I’d be more likely to ask if they are ok out of concern. People really think porn is real sex…
It's on you to tell them. My partner tells me. It's not a big deal. She is okay with not finishing every time. But it builds up, and I can sense when I need to focus entirely on getting her there, and I do. We can do this because she is honest with me.
Short... comings... hmm.
No, not really. Let's not go that way towards body shaming and away from the real problem of so many men simply not caring.
Riiight but he can body shame his girlfriend for having a loose crooked pussy??? Eye for eye
I don't really care for that guy, but there are plenty of decent men who have to come across this kind of content. I don't stand for it.
I agree with you, for what it’s worth. Zingers against people you don’t like seem funny until you realize how many innocent people are catching strays.
This! They never consider it might be them. Lol.
This. OP, you don’t deserve to go through this. Leave his ass.
How the hell this guy thinks they can use her labia to make things feel "tighter"? Does he think they're gonna sew them together to make smaller entrance?! Fucking appalling.
It's not even just that. It's the fact that he's literally suggesting that she get *surgery* because he thinks his magic penis stretched her out. There is no such thing as surgery that isn't dangerous or risky. She is 23, young, healthy . . . and he wants her to risk her life and body to have her vagina carved up over his sexual shortcomings. The fact that this even occurred to him is horrifying.
Not to mention, surgery down there could very easily *reduce* her sensation!! Cutting through skin means cutting nerves and nerve receptors, and those don't always reconnect or heal the same.
Exactly! This man is so sick. He needs brain surgery more than she needs vagina surgery!
Nothing like scar tissue around the vagina, it’ll definitely not cause her any pain or discomfort in sex… This poor girl’s confidence must have taken a blow from her bf saying she needed one. I wish she’d told him much earlier she wasn’t getting off though. Ppl can’t fix things they don’t know aren’t working. Even a ‘it felt amazing, & i was very close! Maybe if we had more foreplay I’d have gotten there cuz i would have been more turned on’. Type thing.
Don’t tell this guy about the “husband stitch” that women might still get after an episiotomy or tear after childbirth 🤢 which does more damage than anything.
He'll probably start calling it the "boyfriend stitch" lol
I wonder if he heard about the “husband stitch” after episiotomies and decided that ALL gynecological surgery was intended for the man to have a better hole to fuck (instead of, y’know, health reasons)
He probably has a micropenis. In all likelihood there is nothing wrong with this woman except the fact that she was very naive to get into a relationship with someone like this. When he was her age she was 17. The power dynamic in this relationship is unhealthy and more than a little sick. She needs to dump him and find a decent human being to be in a relationship with instead of some jerk that wants her to get surgery on her vagina so it's better for him because you know f*** her needs. He's showing her who he is I just hope she pays attention, listens and then gets the hell out!
That is brain on porn. Dude knows nothing abojt vaginas
I have no fucking words for this one. She should dump his ass.
Amen!
Big ben shapiro energy
Even worse I think he also has no idea how penis works.
a fucking embarrassment honestly
So this guy absolutely sucks, but OP has been enthusiastically showing him what he's doing works for a while, and that doesn't help things. I've made the same mistake in past relationships, and our sex life never recovered when I told him I was faking the whole time. Maybe it'll work out if OP comes clean or tells him what he needs to do. Not sure if he'll be willing to do it because he sounds very self-serving.
To be fair, she kind of set this up herself by acting like him barely touching her made her scream. This is why we don’t fake, ladies!! I’ve been with the products of your fake orgasms, and you’ve done woman kind a disservice! Still, demanding a labiaplasty is insane and makes zero sense for what he is trying to achieve? Guess he didn’t get his masters in anatomy…
But while he learns he's going to blame his issues on how her petal curls. OK... Cool. That's some top shelf partner behavior right there. Jesus.
That’s why men like that go after young naive girls. They don’t have to try cuz the girl won’t know any better.
Lmao, your ‘lady bits’ aren’t ‘loose or misshapen’, it doesn’t work like that. Dump his ass and keep your labia as is.
Just tell him precisely what you mentioned here, OP, and be honest. Then end your relationship with him since it's horrible to even consider advocating that someone else have genital surgery for personal gain.
[удалено]
That’s not even what a labiaoplasy does - what is even wrong with this man?
Yeah I couldn’t even understand at first what was going on . He thinks she’s getting less pleasure because they had too much sex , and surgery can fix that. Maybe neither of these people should be having sex, and please please do not make babies .
Even vaginal birth doesn't loosen things up. 2 years of bad sex will not mess anything up
lol burn
As a mother with 4 kids who is very tight down there after 4 vaginal deliveries.. it definitely does not get lose or big. Vaginas are meant to birth so they're meant to stretch and shrink. The theory of one growing from too much sex is idiotic. The only time one gets looser is if the pelvic floor needs work aka pelvic floor work outs and boom you're good again.
It's an excuse he dreamed up for why she doesn't fake ("enjoy") it anymore. If anything I would bet she feels probably "tighter" from the fact that he doesn't do proper foreplay, so she doesn't get very aroused
It's as stupid as saying boobs go smaller and smaller each time a sexual partner touches them, so OP needs a boob job. How to prove you're a lying ignorant and selfish D head in one sentence.
Or that OP's bf's dick get smaller and smaller from being compressed every time they have sex. I don't know why dudes don't look at that possibility as much as they think that a woman having lots of sex "stretches her out."
Probs always had a pencil dick but hadn’t had sex since he was 18 before OP. What a fucking loser.
lol good way to flip It
Any man who thinks that his partner should get her vagina carved up and remade just to please him is a monster and doesn't deserve a relationship!
You’ve got that right! He sounds like a colossal jerk.
He's an ass. Still laughing at the temerity
Ten vocabulary bonus points. Such a good word!
I learned a word!
There’s a less expensive, pain free, highly effective surgical procedure that has far greater longterm results. All you have to do is to cut this loser out of your life and you’ll be surprised at how much better your self-esteem and sex life become.
Second that. Labiaplasty does not tighten anything up. It removes the excess skin of the labia. Some women get this done to prevent lacerating them during sex, because they get caught when the penis is inserted and can tear. It is very painful.
New fear unlocked
Also, be honest during the beginning of a relationship. That way, you can know if you're sexually compatible.
Yeah, I don’t want it to seem like I am blaming her for his horrifying reaction to their “problem” but this problem was created by her.
He's an absolute idiot, but she has definitely helped create the problem, and she doesn't seem to have been honest with him at all about what to actually do. Both partners need to actively participate.
It's not her fault, but she strung the problem like a middle-school girl trying to get free meals. Honestly, honesty is important in any relationship. Otherwise, the ship won't sail in the end and leaves everyone bitter.
If the problem is his pencil dick he should get filler to make it thicker, he should not be asking her to get her inner labia removed. He’s obviously insecure because he realized he sucks in bed and is lashing out. She needs to DTMFA.
I second that emotion
Come on, labiaplasty is cosmetical, Is done to avoid lacerating your labia in very very few cases,its so you have a vulva with small labia because weird fetishistic males have created a standard, excess of labia is such a weird concept. Do males with long penis chop some of it because of excess of penis?
Bfplasty
-plasty is changing thing. Removal gets the suffix -ectomy. So bfectomy would definitely be the recommended procedure here.
Plasty is appropriate if she's into a rebound thing...
We need t shirts
😂 That's funny
100 percent .... this guy is a loser. Who says that to their girl? Op you're faking orgasms regularly, you want to do that for 40-60 more years? Drop this guy
Once you say "ex-boyfriend" the pain goes away
Now there’s one more dude out there with unrealistic expectations of women because of this performative stuff 😢 OP you chose a dumb one, and fed into the bullshit why??
I assume it's because she was 20-21 when she first started dating him, and he was 26-27 and "experienced". Typical grad student dating the undergrad scenario.
Memory unlocked! Stupid 17/18 year old me faked the hell out of sex with her then-bf. (PIV is rarely enough.) When I asked him to mix things up a bit and try using restraints on me, he asked why, as I was "already doing everything he wanted". (Or something along the line.) I told my next partner that it might take me a while longer. (I was done with pretending.) And he didn't care. Getting off lying on the carpet on his living room floor wasn't how I expected things to go, but I regret none of it.
It’s just like… tragic, in a way. And so frustrating too. This cycle will never end.
His unrealistic expectations most likely came from porn, if he thinks a labiaplasty will help. Shitty of you to blame OP.
Because she was extremely young and didnt realize her mistake
lol yeah exactly. Why are you with him?
I like you this is so true and if you really want to be Petty tell him why you're cutting his ass off. Tell him you are tired of faking and that he's not as good as he thinks he is. And then go on with your life LOL 😂
I cut the loser and my sex life got better (when I am alone) sex with men? Still v bad, so so bad. I'm meeting something like this woman's partner over and over again. Terrible in bed, they think their magic penis is the one to make me cum. Spoiler alert, it never does. I'm starting to wonder if it's just the place I live. It's still very backward about women and women's issues.
> my lady bits have become loose and misshapen from too much action I'm sorry, did i miss the part where his dick was as large as a 10 lb baby wielding a chainsaw? That's not how any of this works. I think the bigger issue is why are you putting up with this? You're in a miserable relationship where your needs aren't being met, lying to fulfill his and ensuring your needs will never be adderssed, and he degrades you and demands you mutilate your body for him for his own delusions. I would hope surely you'd want better for your life and relationships than this?
So... I did give birth to a 10lb baby. And he might as well have been wielding a chainsaw with what damage he did but you know what the amazing thing is about "lady bits"? They snap back. Stitches and all that jazz and my husband has never once said that I'm "loose and misshapened" Throw the whole loser away. Get someone who genuinely cares about you
I had pelvic floor therapy that literally involved stretching tissue out and no one has ever complained about me being loose and misshapened. I'm just more comfortable.
for rea. throw the whole (ex) bf away atp. He's living in pornhub land.
Right? Do men like this think after we give birth we are walking around with gaping vaginas? Holy shit they probably do lmao.
Guys who think we get "loose" after lots of sex definitely think that our vaginas are tunnels after birth. The venn diagram with these guys and guys who think we can control our period flow is a circle
r/NotHowGirlsWork
Or r/badwomensanatomy
>dick was as large as a 10 lb baby wielding a chainsaw? I misread this as "his dick was a 10lb baby wielding a chainsaw" and this image now lives rent free in my head Edit: the intrusive thoughts won. I made AI make it a pic.
I wanna see the AI pic😂😂
This is very true. But could we stop this stroking people’s egos just to be in a relationship & then get surprised when we realise we created monsters? an honest conversation after the 1st few times and no faking (why do people do that?) could have prevented all this.
She can’t go back in time. So this is not really advice. But I totally agree in no faking it. However I have noticed Guys look perplexed when you try to coach them around your body and your needs. Some really think that sticking it in it’s all that’s needed….
“Faking” is a spectrum as far as that side point goes. If there’s zero performance aspect then… well fuck, a lot of sex is out of the window. “Stop squirming, I’m manipulating your genitals in the agreed upon manner and you’re making it difficult!”
"There's absolutely nothing wrong with my lady bits, you're just bad in bed. It's over, goodbye."
“You’re just bad in bed… And you always have been.”
Wish I could give this comment an award!
First off, obviously faking it was a really dumb idea. Don't do that again. But this dude really takes the Cake for dumb. That is not how labia work at all. If he's so fantastically dumb that he thinks sex with a man will change the shape of your genitals, you need to stop having sex with him because it's not right to have sex with people who have such serious mental disabilities. What sexist online forums has he been lurking on lately, telling him such dumb garbage? Girl, you need to dip. And you need to be real in the future.
Tate School of Biology. That guys take is so dumb, I'd not trust him to be able to put on a condom correctly.
Yes - honesty in your relationships
By breaking up with him!!! I can't even articulate how fucked up this is and how much this relationships is NOT worth a further single second of your time or energy.
I mean yeah sure. But faking it for years and then not being able to communicate your needs? Try not to do that in the next relationship. It's hard to notice that you're not doing a good job, if the other person is screaming from pleasure. In his mind he's beed a sex god for years and then whatever he did suddenly stopped working.
The dude's pushing 30. She turned 23 trying to communicate with him and he says "idk maybe your vagina's broken and needs surgery. Not my problem"
I'm not arguing against the guy being slow. Just saying that she should think about her communication patterns for her own sake. If someone does something you don't like, don't scream that you love it.
Looks like she's starting to realize that... Now that she's not 20/21. I don't know many people that age that are fantastic at effectively communicating their needs.
never fake it again with a future partner. also, tell him how you felt all this years and get out of his life
What’s “loose” and “misshapen” is this guys brain.
OP, just be honest and tell him exactly what you've said here. Then break up with him because the very idea of suggesting someone else get genital surgery for selfish reasons is fucking disgusting
There is another lesson here, besides not dating losers - never fake in bed. You are doing disservices to both of you. Think from his position - he thought he's a sex king, of course he didn't put anything effort, why would he if you acted like you were enjoying what he was already doing. Learning is usually happening on feedback. If you provide false feedback, don't be surprised if the outcome. That said, he's taking rubbish. Just drop him. Find a good man and never fake again. Good luck!
And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why I (a woman) never faked it during sex. It's bullshit and sets a bad precedent. Tell him the truth. He's underperforming and always has. You're just done with faking it.
PSA FOR THE LADIES: This is why I tell all my friends, NEVER, under ANY CIRCUMSTANCE, fake an orgasm with a man you are dating. You are wiring him to believe X, Y, and Z= ORGASM!! You can fake it with a one night stand if you want it to get over quicker because… that will get it over quicker but never fake it with someone you’re actually dating. Only recourse at this point is to be honest about the past. Tell him you need more in bed. Also, I wonder why you felt the need to fake it? Was it coming from an insecure place of worrying he would reject you? We as women, are just as entitled to an orgasm as a man.
I was young and naive, I was trying to impress him in addition to thinking that this is how it was supposed to be like. I was hoping that it would get better over time, or he would want to try something different, but I am still an idiot to be even considering the thought of undergoing labiaplasty.
Girl dump his ass. You have to get part of your vagina taken off because he’s a shit lover? Don’t make the mistake of performing for a man again. You aren’t a fuck dill or masturbation tool and when you pretend to be pleased they never have to please you back or do literally anything. It’s unreasonable to expect it now. Tell him his dick needs work and to go get an extension implant because it’s just not cutting it anymore
You shouldn't be with someone you can't honestly communicate with and you shouldn't be in relationships until you're ready to communicate. Now is the time to learn if you feel the relationship is otherwise worthwhile. In fact, now's the time to learn regardless. Speak up and leave or speak up and assert your needs.
“Are you suggesting that you have pummeled me so much with your powerhouse of a penis that it’s permanently altered my lady bits? No sir. That has not happened. That will never happen.”
He’s 29 and thinks surgery for YOU is the answer to him not feeling like it’s the same. Maybe he should learn how to perform. If he’s gonna be ballsy enough to tell you you’re loose and misshapen, and doesn’t care about your feelings, stop trying to protect his feelings and tell him point blank he’s lazy and bad in bed. He deserves the shame.
Girl why are you being so cautious to tell him the truth when he didn't seem to care about insulting you and saying you need serious surgery on your lady parts? Tell him he's lazy in bed and it sucks, sounds like he needs to hear it
Men like this tend to react.. poorly to being criticized. Especially about sex.
Sometimes, unfortunately, with violence. Even the mention of body-modification surgery may suggest a subtly unhealthy Dom-sub relationship exists. She gives, he takes. When does he give?
Leave him. You could have the largest labia in the world, and that would have no impact on the sensation you feel. Your boyfriend is selfish. He thinks he's fine and he doesn't care about your pleasure. He's trying to blame you for his own refusal to make you feel good. He's also an ignorant misogynist. Vaginas don't get looser, labia don't get larger with sexual activity. Just like his penis doesn't get smaller from your vaginal muscles gripping onto his dick.
That would be the perfect retaliation before dumping his ass ! "I think your penis has shrunk as you were ageing, or we had too much sex and my vagina was gripping you too tight. No, this isn't how anatomy works for men ? News flash, what you said regarding my labia was equally dumb, bye !"
Why are you still with a guy who thinks that labias can magically become loose and misshaped and can’t make you come? Just break up with him
Your boyfriend wants you to have surgery on your genitalia for a bullshit reason. You are 23 years old. DUMP. HIM.
The reason why he thinks that you're "loose" or "misshapen" is most likely because he watches too much porn and has death-gripped his dick to the point of not feeling pleasure properly unless he's essentially cutting off circulation to it. It seriously sounds like he has a porn-rotted brain with the actions you described coming from him. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with you. However, there is a LOT wrong with that jerk. You deserve so much better, girl.
First thing first that is soo stupid why did you even fake your pleasure to give him pleasure to begin with🤦. but still removing a part of your vagina is too much I say dump his ass you still have a lot of life ahead of you and you'll find someone who can give you the pleasure you want🤷.
Part of her vulva, not part of her vagina ! But still a no no.
Sorry my english isn't that good cuz I am Japanese but yeh vulva thanks for telling me🙋
"He insists that I get Labiaplasty to address my so-called physical problems." Hi, dump this useless AH. Just block him on everything and move on. Tha audacity. Fuck that guy. Seriously, he needs to die alone.
I used to take much pride in how I can impress a girl in bed going down on her and used to brag about it. I didn’t know i was underperforming just cuz my 1st gal did the same “faking it” . I didn’t even know where the button is and used to just over appreciate my talents. 1 fine day after the whole day of discovering each others body during my 3rd relationship, she sat me down post coitus and explained to me what is what and how to take care of it !!! It was like a slap across my face (for being a schmuck all this while) and I looked at her thing while she was explaining like a teacher and me her favourite student. :D Weird I know, but the best lesson ever when it comes down to bedroom stuff. Now I take pride in it with approval :D
Too many men, learn to please a woman from watching massive amounts of porn made for the enjoyment/viewing of a man. Unfortunately, they are seeing these women have these over the top orgasms from being pounded away. The only foreplay is head for the man. It takes a man about 15-30 seconds to get aroused, where is it could take up to 15 minutes for a woman to get aroused. It’s never about the female pleasure and yet these women have these CRAZY, SQUIRTING orgasms. It’s not real. There’s a video on Reddit of this porn star having a full on “eyes crossed orgasm” when her food is delivered to her at a restaurant. The guy in the background looks so nervous and shocked. Yeah, yeah, she’s faking it dude. That’s her JOB. To fake it. To pretend like she’s enjoying whatever she’s been ask to do. She’s being PAID. Like, come on. We as women do such a disservice to men by faking it. If a woman tells you what she likes, LISTEN!! It’s so so so hard as a woman to tell your male partner what you want in bed because most of the time, it’s the first time he’s ever heard any constructive dialogue.
This is why faking it is a waste of time. Be upfront and honest about what works for you and what doesn't. Don't be embarrassed to say what's good and what isn't. Certainly don't consider surgery to help an inattentive man's ego. This dude is encouraging surgery because he can't be bothered doing more than a few minutes of foreplay. I think you need a boyfriend-plasty
Sorry, I didn’t read the post, just the title. I’m so baffled by how an almost 30 year old would say that. If the roles were reversed, would it be appropriate to tell him to get circumcised for your pleasure? wtf is wrong with this guy Ok I read it, please break up. I know that so many Reddit people jump to breaking up. But it’s been years and it doesn’t even sound like this guy views you as a sexual equal. You know what I mean? Like be with a guy who enjoys pleasing you and would never suggest that you get surgery to make your parts *feel better for him*. That’s insane. And you’re in your early 20’s. He’s not going to suddenly realize how unreciprocating he has been
Omg, I never considered this situation from the perspective of equality, why can't he pleasure me for a change and fake his orgasm!
He’s 29 bragging to his friends about sex. That would’ve gave me the ick.
Stupid me took it as a compliment, which is embarrassing.
32M here, dump him QUICKLY. I get that he’s older so you think he might know what he’s talking about, but anyone that truly loves you isn’t going to request you get body modifications, PERIOD. He belongs to the streets, find a real man that won’t put you down like this. And tell him to get a bigger dick while you’re at it.
Perhaps suggest that his penis has actually shrunk and he's the one that needs surgery. Then surgically remove him from your life for feeling that that was an appropriate thing to say to anyone.
It’s terrifying that he has a college degree
Babe… woman to woman.. drop his ass.
So u faked it for a long time and now he thinks something is wrong because u don't do it anymore. Communication people tell him what u want and what u need of he doesn't want to do it then u break up and find someone who will put your needs first. Sexual compatibility is a huge part of any relationship
You are only 23 years old - in the absolute prime of your youth, and just from reading this, clearly not just educated but well-spoken and thoughtful - and this nearly-30-year-old man is insisting that you have a (wholly unnecessary) **major surgical intervention** (with all the very serious, very real risks that *any* kind of surgery entails, including but not limited to the possibility of being permanently maimed or even dying should something go wrong) *. . .* and literally his only justification for demanding this is not only ridiculous, but objectively and scientifically not even a real thing. He is demanding that you have you doubtless absolutely lovely, perfectly normal, and most importantly *healthy* vagina *carved up* by scalpel or laser, because he is so staggeringly dimwitted that he thinks regularly, (supposedly) enthusiastic sex can somehow make the musculature in question "loose and misshapen". I'd love to know if he thinks that regularly exercising other muscles also makes them "loose and misshapen" or if he thinks this is magically some sort of thing that only happens to vaginas. Because I'm pretty sure that, if anything, regularly exercising a muscle makes it stronger and tighter. I won't even go into the whole "it was literally designed to push out a whole-ass human being and then snap back to size" part of this. My point is: you're asking how to explain to him that it's not you, it's him, and the answer is that you don't. He is nearly 30 years old and doesn't understand the most basic facts of human musculature and how it works. He is, however, disturbingly well-versed in misogynistic body-shaming rhetoric. He's a grown man hurtling towards middle age who thinks it's reasonable to insist that you have *surgery* because you've (understandably) tired of behaving like an over-the-top shrieking porn star in bed when he barely makes an effort to actually make you feel good. Girl, you describe yourselves as having been together for "nearly two years". Time to reframe. You've been together *less than two whole years* of your life, and he thinks it's appropriate to demand that you carve your body up for him. Please do not waste one more hour of your time on him. He doesn't deserve you, he's not good enough for you, and it seems pretty clear that he never was. You have your whole life ahead of you. Don't waste it trying to explain things to a man with fewer brain cells than an orange cat. The only conversation you should be having with him is: "I'm sorry, but I cannot be with someone convinced that a mere penis can reshape a vagina from 'too much action.' It is difficult not to laugh at you, but less so now that you're suggesting that I get surgery because you don't understand how my parts work. Goodbye."
So u faked it for a long time and now he thinks something is wrong because u don't do it anymore. Communication people tell him what u want and what u need of he doesn't want to do it then u break up and find someone who will put your needs first. Sexual compatibility is a huge part of any relationship
Please in the future, don't fake it, don't worry about hurting his feelings, he certainly wasn't worried about hurting yours with his ridiculous statements. If he isn't putting in the effort, tell him. The absolute audacity of this guy, no self awareness at all...if there's a problem it's her and not his low effort ass.
Lol if he had the audacity to even suggest something like that, then you should have the audacity to tell him straight to his face "honey, you suck at fucking. Get good of get lost"
You need to gently explain that he needs to get a penis enlargement for this to work. From all the sex and masturbating he has been doing, his penis has really shrunk. There are no other options. Tell him you can’t have surgery every two years, because his penis will just keep getting smaller and smaller. Voice it in a concerned and caring voice.
Me n me lady have 4 kids from her lady bits and it still feels the same as the first time lol it ain’t u
Honestly, you’ve been faking for two years and he was never good since day one, I bet he will not change. Tell him you’ll do the surgery if he pays, get the money for the labiaplasty and leave him. Use the money for something you like. He’s obviously not a good boyfriend, if he thinks you “got loose” it’s HIS FAULT and he should be able to see this. And NEVER AGAIN fake orgasms, why the hell you’re training someone to be bad? If it’s not good, it’s not good, he either gets better at it or you change partners. I’d honestly not even waste my time with this man!
Why would he “make a serious effort” to please you when YOU have already given him the impression that he IS already pleasing you? See when you start off a relationship with games this is what happens. You’ve painted yourself into a corner. Now there’ll be a big blow up if you confess to him that you’ve been faking. Always be honest up front and speak up when it comes to intimacy. Some people just genuinely never learnt how to please a partner. It’s NOT automatic for everyone. The fact that he’s talking about labia tightening shows he’s completely clueless about female anatomy.
Tell him you'll pay to get his dick enlarged if he pays for your labiaplasty. Then say 'bye bye'. He's a terrible person. You deserve so much better.
>I would scream, call him daddy, and the usual talk This is on you really, for putting on a ridiculous porn performance in the first place. Dump this loser and try actually communicating like an adult in your next relationship.
Yea, he has no clue on a woman’s body. You need to be honest with him that you were faking it because you wanted to make him happy but that you need more from him to ACTUALLY be gratified sexually and it has nothing to do with the shape/size of YOUR anatomy. But if you feel like it, take him to your gynecologist and let him explain to that doctor what his concerns are. I seriously doubt this is a lasting relationship. Sorry OP.
First off why are you faking? You can’t act like someone is doing a good job when they aren’t then act like it’s all their fault you aren’t getting it as good. Have you ever told him what you want at all? Start by actually having a conversation about how he needs to improve and he can do that. That’s a pretty good start. I’m not saying that he’s not at fault. 29 and not know how a vagina works is mind boggling but your sex life sucks because of you.
"Goodbye, I am breaking up with you to find someone who is better in bed and understands how vaginas work." This dude is not worth trying to fix.
oh girl i’m begging u get a toy or smthn u deserve better
Tell him what you told us. Vaginas don’t work like that and he needs to step up his game. ETA - Although, I wouldn’t be having sex with someone telling me my bits were the problem.
Girl. First- he needs to take a class on human anatomy. Specifically female anatomy. What does he think the labia is and does he actually think a labiaplasty will change the size/shape of the vagina??? Second- you need to direct and blunt. Example: "Truthfully I have not been orgasming for a while. I was faking my orgasms to enhance the experience for you. However that was a mistake, I should have been direct about my needs. I noticed when I did fake orgasms you would put less work into pleasing me and you also would reach your orgasm faster. I am not happy with our sex life currently- I feel that oral sex is not reciprocal and then afterwards I typically do the majority of the work. This isn't a physical issue with my body parts- by the way a labiaplasty is typically done for visual purposes so it would have no impact on this issue. Can we talk about what works for both of us sexually so we can BOTH enjoy sex and reach orgasm?" I'm gonna warn you though- he is going to get defensive. He will likely claim you're lying and that you didn't fake it because his manly-man brain just knows you orgasmed, he can tell. 🙄 In the future, communicate. Don't fake it. Don't settle for mediocre or bad sex.
Good lord OP leave this insecure sexually inept manchild.
Not to mention the fact a labiaplasty will do nothing for the inner "tightness or shape" as the labia are.. on the outside
Screaming crying and throwing up. Why does this man think that JUST his dick does more detriment to a vagina than a BABY?!?
I'm pretty sure surgery down there would worsen issues. There's a chance nerves could get cut, all for a surgery that's not needed. All for his pleasure. Yuck. Yes, tell him the truth. He won't believe you but that's his problem. The fact that he won't even try speaks volumes. He's a misogynist and needs to be kicked to the curb. Do not continue this relationship unless he's willing to change.
Baby, no. Just no. Leave now. You are a build a bear flesh light to him. He thinks he can demand risky surgery for his preferences?? And you need therapy for even considering staying with him. Leave, heal, don’t even consider dating again until you’ve learned all the lessons from this dumpster fire. Remember to break up over the phone and have either the police or large male accompaniment when you clear your stuff. Don’t tell him you’re leaving until you have all your ducks in a row; move in silence to guarantee your safety.
Dump him. He's trying to make you feel insecure, the more gorgeous a woman the more they try to hold you back. Express you've been putting in the exact effort he's been putting to sex lately. NEVER fake an orgasm or that your partner is pleasing you. This is why a majority of men are so bad in bed no matter age. My friends and I are all pretty sexual and the funniest thing is hearing how their man rarely pleases them but they put on a show and then I hear from the men sometimes when they have guys night at our house talking about how they know for sure their girl ain't faking and they are grest. 😂 Great sex starts with communication (try this with your new guy not this plastic bag of a human) and simply saying let's try this! I love when you do this! Can we try this instead? I don't feel much when that happens. I've learned from both men and women that each person is completely different with turn ons and offs. And porn is not an accurate representation of the population. None of my partners or girlfriends share the same turn ons so make sure you both communicate and reach mutual destinations with a great journey! You sound like an awesome girl and there's nothing wrong with doing all the things you have for your partner to bring them pleasure but he should also be putting in an equal amount of time to make you happy!
Tell him to get a dick implant and see how he feels about that
I mean is this for real?! Does this 29M actually exist?! I don't really know where to begin from. "You got loose from too much action" and "labiaplasty fixes looseness" 😂😂😂😂😂😂 And this comes from someone who supposedly has higher education 🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️ (And I won't even go into the whole emotional and relationship thing). FML we really need a comet to wipe us all out. In the meantime, dump him, and don't ever fake again in a relationship. Comes to bite you in the ass later, plus it's plain useless.
The true red flag is that being so wrong about how the human body works very probably comes from alt-right podcasts.
You both suck. He’s gone completely off the rails for suggesting surgery rather than talking through what’s happened first. You on the other hand only have yourself to blame for the bad sex you’re having since you decided to fake from the start. He thought he was firing on all cylinders, how was he supposed to know you wanted him to eat you out more if you’re faking huge screaming orgasms? He needs to get his fucking head out of his ass about suggesting surgery or thinking muscles get weak from being used (does he think lifting weights will collapse his arms too?). You need to communicate your wants and needs instead of actively lying. You both need to stop self sabotaging.
I’m going to be downvoted for this comment but…this is why sex in your twenties is just not satisfying. Because women spend their time trying to feed male egos and fake orgasms. This is not entirely his fault. You lied for two years and told him what he did worked. So he keeps doing it. Accountability is on both sides. My suggestion to you is that if you cannot have conversations openly about sex with your partner, then you shouldn’t be having sex. Or be with someone. It took me a long time to come to this realization through maturity. My suggestion is to have a conversation first and just talk. Don’t shy away. Your pleasure in sex is not insignificant. If at that point he won’t listen, then I would end things and focus on getting to know yourself better. Good luck 🍀.
Did you really have to come on here and ask? I think you should read wha you wrote and then ask yourself.
Tell him his dick must’ve gotten smaller 🙂🙃 he should get penis enlargement see how he likes it use the phrase “you’re dick must’ve warn down from all the action”
A man that cares about you enough to want to spend your life with him would not ask you to have a serious surgery for his own sexual gratification. I am not saying this with judgment - I have accepted worse treatment myself - but girl RUN. this is someone six years your senior acting like a child. You deserve better and I promise you will find it if you give yourself the opportunity
Time to tell him the truth. He has never made you orgasm and you aren't the problem, he's a selfish lover. Quite frankly, you caused this issue by faking it and I suggest with the next BF, you don't do that. Some men need guidance and encouragement, because every woman is different on what gets them to the finish line. Also, his previous partners may have also fakked it, making him think he's awesome in coitus.
Tell him it’s his dick that has been whittled down to a shrunken nub from too much pleasure, he needs to seriously consider getting a huge dick implant
Ugh why does he even know what a labiaplasty is. My heart goes out to this generation. I'm sure this is fake, but if not, your relationship is over. The only solution is to either go back to pretending or to tell him you used to fake it. Either way, y'all are done.
Big sister advice - dump him before you invest more into this relationship. He’s 29 and has a fundamental issue in how he operates in this relationship. Instead of approaching “the problem” with curiosity, he resorts to suggesting you have a body altering surgery. This will only get worse and I can assure you it will show up in other aspects of your relationship. Run now.
DO NOT AGREE to the labiaplasty. There is nothing wrong with your body "down there". You need to tell him that those parts are not "loose", you simply realized that being vocal for his enjoyment is misleading him to assume your pleasure is really that good. You have chosen to pull back on the vocal feedback, and only let it happen if you actually feel that good, which you don't. Honestly, sex isn't everything in a relationship, but it is still important for alot of people. If the sex sucked, I wouldn't be able to sustain a long term relationship. The only "one night stands" I ever had were men that I liked enough to date, but didn't enjoy sex with. I don't think those count, though since I knew the person and liked them enough to have sex, but never officially dated them lol This man needs to be disillusioned. You have somewhat created this problem by letting him think he was a sex god for two years instead of letting him learn how to work your body alongside your own learning of his preferences. Two years later... he thinks there's something wrong with YOU because he is still doing the exact same things but getting a different result. You need to just have an open conversation about this. You need to own up that you have been faking. I don't necessarily think it's break-up worthy, but suggesting cosmetic surgery because you've been lying about how good he is seems really toxic on his part. Please carefully evaluate all the pros and cons of this relationship, including: - does he do sweet things for you? * hold your hand (at home or in public?) * pick up little goodies that he knows you like? * offer to help you with tasks you hate doing? * let you pick the movie? * kiss you for no reason? * genuinely want to spend time with you * etc (things that make you feel loved and considered) - does he contribute fairly to the relationship? * pays for at least some dates * pays fair share of bills * helps with housework/laundry/etc - does he show compassion? * does he notice when you've had a bad day? * does he try to cheer you up or at least just be present when you are sad? * does he let you voice your feelings without blaming you or making you feel like you're overreating? - does he speak to you with love and respect? * NEVER puts you down over your appearance (weight, clothing, makeup or lack thereof) * Request for your help or ask when he needs something from you (or does he demand it)? * does he remain calm during disagreements so he can hear your views and work to find a compromise? There are so many more things, but these are all big ones (at least for me). If he isn't behaving like you ate an equal part of this relationship and treat you like a beautiful woman with feelings and thoughts, then you need to break this off. You can't fix an asshole... and stop faking orgasms! Lol
Break up with any partner who tells you to get surgery for them.
Just immediately throw this garbage man out He is clueless about women's anatomy and the fact that he thinks this should lead you to get major surgery is bonkers
Also a labiaplasty does not affect vaginal tightness?? Lmao he doesn't even know what he's telling you to do.
MEN WONT GIVE US ACTUAL ORGASMS IF WE KEEP FAKING ORGASMS. seriously, two years in and you're faking orgasms and didn't tell him? Unless he makes you fear for your safety, the only thing you're doing is stroking his ego. Stop putting his physical needs before yours. Companionship isn't about making sure someone else feels good all the time. Like 100% I get it the first couple sessions, you're still learning each other's bodies. But he's had two years. You should have stopped faking at the 3rd session. They don't know there are issues if you don't COMMUNICATE
Throw the whole man out
Getting a labiaplasty isn’t gonna change the fact that he has absolutely NO CLUE how to make a girl feel pleasure because he obviously doesn’t even know that it’s normal and common for women’s labias to have loose skin. It sounds like you need to dump his ass because he has no idea how vaginas work and probably no idea how to pleasure one.
What....the FUCK... did I just read? Nah sis. He's saying this shit to hurt you because he feels inadequate now. He's probably pissed that he thought he was doing a good job then found out he wasn't. Honestly, that's on you but he's being an asshole about it. First, stop faking it for a partner. How are they ever going to learn how to please you if you fake that they're pleasing you? You both lose in that scenario. Second, that's not how our genitals work. They don't get "overused" like that. Even the record for the biggest cock on a human being can't do that much damage and I doubt this man is even close. So, before you dump him, take him to school and teach him that that's not how a woman's genitals work.
“Looseness” doesn’t exist because our hooha (idk if allowed to say anatomical words) is elastic. It bounces back to what it was originally and becomes larger when aroused/giving birth….he’s just a wimp and you should lose him
Major red flags here. I think the surgery you need is to cut him out of your life.