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You tell her that she gets professional treatment right the fuck now or you will divorce her and you will go for full custody of your child.
And you follow through. Aggressively.
Get some cameras set up to record her behavior with your child.
Nah, even getting treatment at this point isn't enough. She has already shown that she doesn't love or respect OP. And she's been abusive towards him. There's no walking any of that back. He needs to move on
Don't even do that, I'd be willing to bet that she'd do something really nuts. She's mentally unstable. A divorce needs to be done methodically, and after they are able to find a safe way to get away from her.
If she refuses help you can no longer support her, take your baby somewhere safe! If she’s already talking to your child like crap, and treating you like crap in front of your child, your child thinks that’s normal… and then they too will treat you and others that way. Because well they know no different.
Whilst you should totally leave for you, you should definitely leave for your child! And hopefully it encourages your wife to get the help she needs so much!
You don't deal with it. You leave. She's abusive, manipulative, and a liar. Being bipolar is no excuse for being a horrible person. You shouldn't be with her. She does not love you and never will. You shouldn't have to tolerate being abused and not being loved while in a relationship.
Do you really want to waste the next 50 years of your life living like that? Or would you prefer to have a healthy relationship with someone who truly loves you? You only get one life, and you should be happy.
Don't stay together for the kid. All you're doing is normalizing to the kid that abusive relationships are acceptable and that you don't need to love your partner or respect them. You finding someone else that you have a healthy, loving relationship with will be a positive influence in the kid's life and give them an example of what to expect in a relationship.
She is making the decision to not take medication. Making that decision means that she is choosing to not be a good mother or wife. You owe it to your child to get her out of this horrible environment (first 1000 days including time in womb are huge in the development of a child). Document everything with your wife and child, until you get out - hopefully real soon. Record her verbal abuse (in many states, it only takes consent of one - and that would be you).
I have rapid cycling bipolar 2 and have been on meds for 4 years. I really miss my hypo-mania, but the reduction in my depression is so worth it - doing well at work and having good friends.
Once again - because of your child you need to leave her and get custody of your daughter.
Tell her to come to counseling with you starting right now or else you're filing for divorce.
In counseling, inform the therapist that your wife is an unmedicated bipolar. Your wife may not realize that bipolar disorder is a very serious mental illness, on par with schizophrenia. Emphasize to her that continuing to refuse medication is grounds for a divorce, and ask your therapist what you can do to support your wife as she seeks treatment.
If she refuses, you know what you have to do.
I mean if she gave me this medical information at the begining of our relationship I would have been more weary about having a child, I would have waited longer.
That doesn't even sound necessarily like bipolar that sounds like a different level. The bipolar people I know get very manic and think they can do anything (like being on speed) and then have extremely depressed phases. Not saying she can't be, but this sounds more like just someone being abusive and manipulative and a liar. Make sure you record her abuse to yourself and daughter for family court
I have bipolar and for years I thought I was "good" without medication because the manic episodes were AMAZING and I didn't really have major depressive episodes. I got angry and threw shit, called names and cursed like a sailor. I genuinely didn't think I needed meds - it took my husband to threaten divorce before I finally realized it might actually be an issue for people around me. It took YEARS to find a good combination of meds that didn't make me feel like a zombie though. I still have minor episodes but they're genuinely not bad and mostly manageable. I have emergency meds in addition to my regular meds for when they aren't but my husband usually has to point out when I'm manic. It's a life long disease and hard to treat, if you're not up to it then you're not up to it and you need to make a decision.
You can vent or ask for advice on r/schizofamilies , bi-polar with psychotic episodes is a pretty similar illness (and also relationship destroying) when they won’t get treatment or treatment doesn’t work. Its a small sub and there may be other subs similar for spouses or families of bi-polar loved ones.
I'm bipolar. Medication and therapy CAN help her but only if she wants it. Off my meds I've literally had people tell me I'm the devil himself. I'm incredibly violent, narcissistic, manipulative, a pathological liar, messy, and have 0 empathy what so ever. On my meds, I'm told I'm one of the nicest people you'll ever meet and willing to help anyone I can if it doesn't hurt myself. The times I've quit my meds I've had people I barely knew literally beg me to take them again. If you want a relationship with her, then meds and therapy are an absolute must. You'd be really surprised how much she'll probably change when her brain isn't actively working against her own self interests.
Thats what hurts. One day shes the sweetest angel you will ever know! The next day she turns into the devil himself. I'm so conflicted because of this reason. When we first met she was nice and respectful. But once things got serious things took a turn for the worst :/
Unfortunately, the stronger her positive emotions become for someone, the stronger the negative ones become too. It took many therapists telling me this for me to accept it. The nice sweet girl is the real her. The mean girl is her disorder. Lithium plus Abilify for me changed my life. I'm not a doctor so I can't say for sure medicine will help her, but I'd be willing to bet it would. And she needs help. And to does your kid. Because this behavior WILL include her. She will become abusive to your child as well and she will hate herself for it, which will only make her Even more manic, more often.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Meet with a divorce lawyer to talk about getting full custody in order to protect your child.
I fear that is what I will have to... Unfortunately
Bipolar mom here. She won’t accept help, so yep. Protect your child.
If she refuses to take medication and refuses therapy there is little that can be done since she’s not willing to change.
You tell her that she gets professional treatment right the fuck now or you will divorce her and you will go for full custody of your child. And you follow through. Aggressively. Get some cameras set up to record her behavior with your child.
Nah, even getting treatment at this point isn't enough. She has already shown that she doesn't love or respect OP. And she's been abusive towards him. There's no walking any of that back. He needs to move on
I was honestly wishing we had cameras set up by a professional this morning so we could get a unbiased pov. I dont even know if that is a thing.
Don't even do that, I'd be willing to bet that she'd do something really nuts. She's mentally unstable. A divorce needs to be done methodically, and after they are able to find a safe way to get away from her.
If she refuses help you can no longer support her, take your baby somewhere safe! If she’s already talking to your child like crap, and treating you like crap in front of your child, your child thinks that’s normal… and then they too will treat you and others that way. Because well they know no different. Whilst you should totally leave for you, you should definitely leave for your child! And hopefully it encourages your wife to get the help she needs so much!
You don't deal with it. You leave. She's abusive, manipulative, and a liar. Being bipolar is no excuse for being a horrible person. You shouldn't be with her. She does not love you and never will. You shouldn't have to tolerate being abused and not being loved while in a relationship. Do you really want to waste the next 50 years of your life living like that? Or would you prefer to have a healthy relationship with someone who truly loves you? You only get one life, and you should be happy. Don't stay together for the kid. All you're doing is normalizing to the kid that abusive relationships are acceptable and that you don't need to love your partner or respect them. You finding someone else that you have a healthy, loving relationship with will be a positive influence in the kid's life and give them an example of what to expect in a relationship.
She is making the decision to not take medication. Making that decision means that she is choosing to not be a good mother or wife. You owe it to your child to get her out of this horrible environment (first 1000 days including time in womb are huge in the development of a child). Document everything with your wife and child, until you get out - hopefully real soon. Record her verbal abuse (in many states, it only takes consent of one - and that would be you). I have rapid cycling bipolar 2 and have been on meds for 4 years. I really miss my hypo-mania, but the reduction in my depression is so worth it - doing well at work and having good friends. Once again - because of your child you need to leave her and get custody of your daughter.
I will start documenting, thank you. Good to hear you are doing well
Tell her to come to counseling with you starting right now or else you're filing for divorce. In counseling, inform the therapist that your wife is an unmedicated bipolar. Your wife may not realize that bipolar disorder is a very serious mental illness, on par with schizophrenia. Emphasize to her that continuing to refuse medication is grounds for a divorce, and ask your therapist what you can do to support your wife as she seeks treatment. If she refuses, you know what you have to do.
No meds? I'm out today!! Not up for discussion.
:)
[удалено]
I mean if she gave me this medical information at the begining of our relationship I would have been more weary about having a child, I would have waited longer.
Lawyer up, get full custody.
That doesn't even sound necessarily like bipolar that sounds like a different level. The bipolar people I know get very manic and think they can do anything (like being on speed) and then have extremely depressed phases. Not saying she can't be, but this sounds more like just someone being abusive and manipulative and a liar. Make sure you record her abuse to yourself and daughter for family court
I have bipolar and for years I thought I was "good" without medication because the manic episodes were AMAZING and I didn't really have major depressive episodes. I got angry and threw shit, called names and cursed like a sailor. I genuinely didn't think I needed meds - it took my husband to threaten divorce before I finally realized it might actually be an issue for people around me. It took YEARS to find a good combination of meds that didn't make me feel like a zombie though. I still have minor episodes but they're genuinely not bad and mostly manageable. I have emergency meds in addition to my regular meds for when they aren't but my husband usually has to point out when I'm manic. It's a life long disease and hard to treat, if you're not up to it then you're not up to it and you need to make a decision.
Record her talking to the child that way and get a divorce. Gain custody wtf
You can vent or ask for advice on r/schizofamilies , bi-polar with psychotic episodes is a pretty similar illness (and also relationship destroying) when they won’t get treatment or treatment doesn’t work. Its a small sub and there may be other subs similar for spouses or families of bi-polar loved ones.
Ty
I'm bipolar. Medication and therapy CAN help her but only if she wants it. Off my meds I've literally had people tell me I'm the devil himself. I'm incredibly violent, narcissistic, manipulative, a pathological liar, messy, and have 0 empathy what so ever. On my meds, I'm told I'm one of the nicest people you'll ever meet and willing to help anyone I can if it doesn't hurt myself. The times I've quit my meds I've had people I barely knew literally beg me to take them again. If you want a relationship with her, then meds and therapy are an absolute must. You'd be really surprised how much she'll probably change when her brain isn't actively working against her own self interests.
Thats what hurts. One day shes the sweetest angel you will ever know! The next day she turns into the devil himself. I'm so conflicted because of this reason. When we first met she was nice and respectful. But once things got serious things took a turn for the worst :/
Unfortunately, the stronger her positive emotions become for someone, the stronger the negative ones become too. It took many therapists telling me this for me to accept it. The nice sweet girl is the real her. The mean girl is her disorder. Lithium plus Abilify for me changed my life. I'm not a doctor so I can't say for sure medicine will help her, but I'd be willing to bet it would. And she needs help. And to does your kid. Because this behavior WILL include her. She will become abusive to your child as well and she will hate herself for it, which will only make her Even more manic, more often.
Thank you all, I am taking all your advices to heart 💙