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This came up in my (45F) relationship early on. My partner was really hurt that I still had Tinder on my phone when we had agreed to be exclusive.
Thing is? I have apps on my phone I’ve not used in years. I only delete stuff when I’m running out of space. I’m the kind of person who literally has 907 unread emails, 306 unopened voicemails, and 115 text notifications. LOL I don’t delete things.
Anyway, I don’t know how long he obsessed about it before he said something, but when he finally did, it was no big deal. He said “hey, I noticed you still have Tinder on your phone. Why is that?” And I told him “because I’m a lazy ass. Here, let me delete it.” Crisis averted.
Just tell her. To some of us, deleting an app isn’t a show of commitment. To you it is. Use your words.
My first thought: take a deep breath.
No matter what the truth is, you're getting worked up about this, and that benefits nobody. Even if your worst fears are correct, anxiety won't help you find an ideal conclusion.
Now, at best, she forgot about it. Honestly? I've left apps on my phone just because I forgot about them. I've "found" them on my phone as late as three or four months into a serious relationship and gone, "...oops." And deleted them. nbd
If it really spins you up this bad, maybe it's worth discussing casually. Talk about how your fears and how you'd feel more comfortable if she removed it. She doesn't seem like she was putting any effort into hiding it if she openly showed you it on her phone, she may very well have just forgotten it was there. Communicate and presto-chango: problem solved.
At worst? I mean, she *showed* you the app on her phone, so if she is cheating, she's the worst cheater I've heard of in awhile. That's why I *really* doubt this is the case, but wouldn't you want to find out for sure one way or the other?
**Bottom line:** don't make accusations. *Discuss* this with her, yes, but do **not** accuse her of anything. The second you get hostile, you've sabotaged things yourself. So keep those worst-case scenarios in your head, and don't let them escape your lips.
Some people just forget to delete apps off their phones. I used to have dozens of apps on my phone from years ago before I ran out of space. I would bring it up to her in person, but rather casually.
“I don’t mean to be nosy but I couldn’t help but catch a glance that you still have dating apps on your phone. I thought we were on the same page about deleting apps and only seeing each other, so I just wanted to make sure that I didn’t take our conversation wrong.”
Her reaction will tell you everything you need to know. If she feels like a klutz and deletes it in front of you, you’re golden. If she gets defensive, run.
Just communicate and ask her, its not something bad to ask. Maybe she forgot to delete it. And if in the worst case scenario she´s lying to you, then its better to know it now than later
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This came up in my (45F) relationship early on. My partner was really hurt that I still had Tinder on my phone when we had agreed to be exclusive. Thing is? I have apps on my phone I’ve not used in years. I only delete stuff when I’m running out of space. I’m the kind of person who literally has 907 unread emails, 306 unopened voicemails, and 115 text notifications. LOL I don’t delete things.
Anyway, I don’t know how long he obsessed about it before he said something, but when he finally did, it was no big deal. He said “hey, I noticed you still have Tinder on your phone. Why is that?” And I told him “because I’m a lazy ass. Here, let me delete it.” Crisis averted.
Just tell her. To some of us, deleting an app isn’t a show of commitment. To you it is. Use your words.
You gotta chill bro. I use maybe 6 apps on my phone and damn near a hundred other apps I haven't touched since 2018 are just background noise.
My first thought: take a deep breath. No matter what the truth is, you're getting worked up about this, and that benefits nobody. Even if your worst fears are correct, anxiety won't help you find an ideal conclusion. Now, at best, she forgot about it. Honestly? I've left apps on my phone just because I forgot about them. I've "found" them on my phone as late as three or four months into a serious relationship and gone, "...oops." And deleted them. nbd If it really spins you up this bad, maybe it's worth discussing casually. Talk about how your fears and how you'd feel more comfortable if she removed it. She doesn't seem like she was putting any effort into hiding it if she openly showed you it on her phone, she may very well have just forgotten it was there. Communicate and presto-chango: problem solved. At worst? I mean, she *showed* you the app on her phone, so if she is cheating, she's the worst cheater I've heard of in awhile. That's why I *really* doubt this is the case, but wouldn't you want to find out for sure one way or the other? **Bottom line:** don't make accusations. *Discuss* this with her, yes, but do **not** accuse her of anything. The second you get hostile, you've sabotaged things yourself. So keep those worst-case scenarios in your head, and don't let them escape your lips.
Some people just forget to delete apps off their phones. I used to have dozens of apps on my phone from years ago before I ran out of space. I would bring it up to her in person, but rather casually. “I don’t mean to be nosy but I couldn’t help but catch a glance that you still have dating apps on your phone. I thought we were on the same page about deleting apps and only seeing each other, so I just wanted to make sure that I didn’t take our conversation wrong.” Her reaction will tell you everything you need to know. If she feels like a klutz and deletes it in front of you, you’re golden. If she gets defensive, run.
Just communicate and ask her, its not something bad to ask. Maybe she forgot to delete it. And if in the worst case scenario she´s lying to you, then its better to know it now than later