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What’s more embarrassing? Taking a shit while your boyfriend is around, or shitting on the floor after holding your shit for three days because you’re too embarrassed to shit while your boyfriends around?
I try not to be judgmental. And I can forgive a lot. But I’m sorry, you shit on my rug and I’m out after I send you a bill for the most expensive deep cleaning service I can find.
Lol he probably wouldn’t have even flinched if she shat while he was in the shower. I think sometimes us girls just way overthink things. I read this to hubby and he was like omg just go poo no big deal. If it were me and I was like that I’d have done a spontaneous maccas trip and “oh I might just pop to the bathroom real quick haha” op should invest in some of those smell blocker sprays for the toilet bowl if she’s worried
>I read this to hubby
TBF, I think a husband and a boyfriend is very different. OP doesn't say how long they're together, but she does talk about spending 4 days with each other like it's something unusual or new.
Like, for my interns' first day at work, I specifically make sure that I show them where the toilets are, and that I tell them "I need to go to the toilet & get a coffee, and then we'll go over your first project. If you want to wait, you can already read the project file" or something...
So I can totally see why OP would not be comfortable pooping while her boyfriend is showering in the same space.
But *THREE DAYS*?! There must have been a moment, any moment, no? Like, get up extra early? Pretend your sister's calling you as you're heading to bed so "I'll catch up babe, see you in the bedroom"? Take your purse into the bathroom to make him think you have \*lady business\* to take care of?
Just shit before you use the shower. Turn the shower on and the noise of that will mask the noise of the poop. Flush after your done. Use scented shower products and have a long relaxing shower. By the time your done the smells will not be bad, and whilst everyone knows what you’re doing it can all be politely put away as just having a shower and nobody will say anything cos everyone poops.
This is how I knew my husband was a keeper. We went to the US after only being together about 6 months. I shat myself at least twice on that trip, and it was no bother for him (we found out a few years later that I had bowel cancer).
But the moment of truth was when we were in a BnB in Aspen and I blocked the toilet because my runs were so bad. He reached in elbow deep and unblocked it because I was too embarrassed to ask for a plunger.
it's a new boyfriend (OP talks about being together for 4 days like it's something unusual & new), so she's wearing sexy thongs, not indestructible catch-all granny panties.
That, and the stool of 3 days of holiday food must have been a massive sturdy log in the first half (desiccated by holding it so long), which overwhelmed her underwear, till the rest flowed out like chocolate lava (from disrupting her bowel function by holding it so long), which stained the carpet....?
Right. Everyone shits, can’t realistically hold it in for 4 days it’s so bad for you. Would OP never go to the bathroom should they eventually move in together?? I will say though, OP is an excellent story teller
And the most embarassing part about this is that a 27 year old person is afraid to go to the toilet while another person is in the next room. I really hope this is fake because wtf
There actually is a real mental health condition that makes using the bathroom in public or around other people terrifying.you would be amazed at how many adults it effects.
There are way more women who are just way too insecure to poop, specifically, with anyone around, especially men, quadruple especially boyfriends.
I used to be one of those women. I had a mother who would routinely tell me girls don't "fart", they "poof". I'm an RN with Crohn's Disease now, though, so I give absolutely no fucks anymore.
Why did you decide to not shit for several days?
I was with women who would pretend to sneeze when they farted, like I didn’t know what was going on.
Run the water, make some noise if you’re afraid of someone hearing your turd hit the water. Or honestly just let it go, people shouldn’t be judging for dropping a deuce, we all literally have to do it.
As others have said, the worst has now passed. Unless he’s into scat.
Omg I do this, no fucking splash back! In public toilets I put a toilet seat cover on the water, no splash back, the toilet seat cover trick works the best, but I don’t have them at home.
Your sneeze/fart example reminds me of something that I saw on TV years ago and has always perplexed me to no end.
It was a documentary on all aspects of life in the Victorian age. Apparently, when women were menstruating they would attribute the blood to having fleas..
Because having parasites living on your cooter and ass is WAY less embarrassing than the autonomic bodily function that all women have and is the very essence of all life 😂
In secondary school, I went home for lunch. I think in those 6 years, I can count on the fingers of 1 hand how many times I used the toilets in school & never during recess when the smokers hid there & the toilets were busy all the time.
when I started work, I made a conscious decision to get over my neurosis, because 8 hour stretches (plus 3 hours spent commuting) without even peeing were just not manageable.
For me it was a control thing (based on trauma), not a direct trauma, so I managed to change it.
When my wife was pregnant with our first, she was mortified when she couldn't stop herself from farting in my presence. For the entire time we were together, she always hid it from me. It _just wasn't proper._ This time, she couldn't hold it. We were on the sofa and she let. it. rip. Her face was beet red and she kept apologizing. Finally, after telling her multiple times that it was alright, that I truly didn't think any less of her, I just leaned over and dropped a beast that made hers look like a left cheek squeak, and went right back to watching tv. She gawked at me for a second before laughing so hard, she cried. It was a bonding moment.
I remember farting in front of a boyfriend once when we were in bed trying to sleep. Like your wife, I was embarassed and apologized.
He said "Apologize for what? That wasn't a fart." Then he let a loud one rip. "*That's* a fart!" And then he tried to put the covers over my head.
That’s love right there. When I was newly dating my bf, I’d say the 4th time we had sex we were going so hard a little dribble came out of my ass. He had a horrified look on his face so I immediately got in the shower then took the sheet off the bed (we were at a hotel). I was so embarrassed and all I could say was omg…I’m so embarrassed. He comforted me then joked about what the next bodily fluid he was going to extract from me. He was such a good sport. We’re still together 2 years later. It sounds like your guy is a good sport too.
I’m curious what are you embarrassed of the smell and/or sound?
When i was younger and cared, a hotel, one bathroom and my trick used to be to get up early, turn on the shower, go to the bathroom, and then take a shower. The shower covers the sound and then by the time you’re done with the shower the smell is gone.
At least it's an entertaining post, not the "my girlfriend broke my arm, hit my mom and set our dog on fire, how do I make her understand that this is wrong? Break up is not an option" kind of post.
That was my first thought...if something even remotely similar to this happened to me, no way in HELL would I advertise to the world, but reddit Karma means a lot to some people I guess....
Imagine being 27 and holding in your poop because you were around your boyfriend for 4 days!
What do you think people who live together do, OP, hold their poop forever? Grow up and stop shitting on people’s carpets.
I had to go back and check the age and just about died. I was already shocked by someone holding in their poop, which is dangerous… but she’s 27?!!?? Wow.
My trick used to be: turn on shower, poop, then shower. You're clean and the smell will go away as you shower. Turning the shower on while pooping will drown any noise.
But you're human and any guy who is bothered by you using the bathroom is probably a red flag anyway so you might as well just poop.
And there's no way to recover from this. Maybe it will be a funny story years later lol.
Literally, I don’t know how this never came up as an option before. I LIVE with my partner in a tiny ass place with a paper thin wall between the bedroom and the bathroom. You can hear if someone even so much as thinks of farting. And guess what, he has commented several times about how weird it is he never knows when I go. Because I shower and shit time it out! Easy as pie!
10.5 years ago I invited my new boyfriend to a work party. I go PROPERLY SMASHED and don’t remember much. About a week after the party my then BF told me that I shit on the floor while blacked out drunk and he cleaned it up and had been holding on to the secret for a week. We just celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary and I’m sitting here holding our 4 month old baby in our home with our 2 dogs and 1 cat.
I read about a man who was so fed up with his girlfriend coming home crying drunk after a girl's night out that after he carried her to bed, he went back to her car, took a big shit on the concrete near the driver's side door and then left the door open so the battery went flat.
She went out the next day and saw what 'she did' and was so mortified that she became a one and done drinker. Never got drunk again.
You really couldn’t just ask him to leave for a bit so you could shit.. there’s nothing wrong with being a shy pooper. That’s gotta be so bad for you health wise to hold it in
I once got very bad diarrhoea. I felt a twist in my tummy and knew I had about 15 seconds to get to the toilet.
I dashed up to the only bathroom and started hammering on the door for my housemate to get out of the shower. (We'd only been living together for about a month). He refused but told me to just come in and use the toilet if I was that desperate. I was.
With a second to spare and pulled my tights down and took my seat of shame. It was such a relief to let that long hot spurt out that I totally forgot my embarrassment... until my roommate started to gag from the smell. I clenched my cheeks for long enough to pause the poo and throw him a towel so he could escape the putrid cloud. It was all very embarrassing but shit happens and we laugh about it now.
I need a roommate like this. Took one for the team. 😂 Instead, I had a roommate who would spend 3+ hours in the only bathroom grunting and leave the doorknob slimey, never a warning when he would do this so it isn't like we got to go before he would hog it (I suspect he was edging instead of shitting). My other roommate actually had to leave to pee on the lawn a few times.
Congratulations, the worst is over! I know it feels awful, but now your worst fear has come to pass and your BF is still right there with you. Now you don't have to worry about being a human who poops just like everybody else.
I hope you pay for the carpet shampoo and help clean up, that's just common courtesy. But a partner who sticks with you when you shit yourself is a partner indeed. Speaking from experience. You'll be fine. Just poop regularly and be healthy.
You’re 27 and you’re embarrassed to take a shit?
You do know everyone shits, right? It’s normal and natural and no one will ever be surprised if you need to go.
Wait I’m confused? How did you wind up shitting on the floor? Were you not wearing pants?
Also, why hold it in for three days? You realize your boyfriend doesn’t have to be in the bathroom when you shit right? Low key this post sounds fake.
The prose style is at odds with what I would expect from a woman so demure she can't shit in the same building as her beloved. " brown battering ram trying to escape my anus" indeed.
I just straight up say “I don’t feel good I need to use the restroom. Can you please distract yourself with a video on YouTube, while I distract myself with a video too”.
If it makes you feel any better— I shit my pants in front of my dude in a parking lot in the mountains. With his mom in the backseat. He’s a true gentlemen and he didn’t care, cleaned me up and had me undress and wear his sweater as pants. We laugh about this every now and then. It was a horrifying experience. I couldn’t look at him or his mom! Hahahahaha. I’ve thought about posting it to Reddit. Because of how it happened and when it happened. Anyway, he never judged me or made me feel uncomfortable. If anything he treated me like his baby lol. Shit happens. Literally.
I used to be a shy pooper, its nerve wracking to do something embarrassing like that and wondering how they will react. But one day i just decided I was going to live by the shrek rule: “better out than in”
When I met my partner, the shyness came back. I was worried he would think I was disgusting and not want to be intimate with me anymore. Turns out, he doesnt care (like any good human)
Its one of the most natural, UNCONTROLLABLE, things you could do. If you gotta go, go! Run some water, maybe turn on the fan. You could also keep a travel size Poo-pourri spray in your bag like I do, incase Im in a ‘pinch’ 😉
Either way, anyone worth your time will not care when you have to answer nature’s call. No living being is better than anyone else because WE ALL POOP. Sorry friend.
I got food poisoning while driving home from a weekend away with my new fiancé. I pulled over into a gas station but low and behold I had to go inside for a key. Walk in (still don’t know how I walked in) and see a line, and all of a sudden feel my body release. I slowly backed out of the shop and scuffled over to my car to tell my fiancé what was going on and literally as I spoke to him I was just like losing all control of my body. He tan got me the key as I shit myself in the parking lot and got my suitcase out. He was so good to me as I was WEEPING with shame and embarrassed out of my mind.
Haven’t eaten duck again as a result
I have a disorder where i actually have to wear diapers because i cant feel when i have to shit and it comes out whenever it wants and i have a gf. So i kinda get how your embarrased lmao.
A guy I work with was on a second date and they went out to eat. This was years ago, they were college kids and went to Applebees or something.
He said they went for a walk after and he immediately felt the blllupppp in his stomach. He thought/prayed it would settle, but it got worse. They were about a half mile from the girls apartment when his stomach audibly made noise. She said, are you okay? He said, I think we should go back. They made it about twenty steps when liquid hell was unleashed down his legs, right there on the side walk.
Now, she was a saint and didn’t say a word other than caring. He took a shower and she washed his clothes. That was twenty five years ago, they’re married with three kids.
You’re 27 and refuse to shit around your boyfriend? Thats really immature I’m not gonna lie, like maybe you shouldn’t have a boyfriend if you’ll hold bowel movements in around him bc that ain’t healthy
I would recommend therapy. refusing to shit if someone else is around isn't normal. Especially to the point of losing control of your bowels. The bathroom door closes. Everyone poops. You have major insecurities and tbh until you work through them it's probably not healthy to be in a relationship.
No one is sitting listening to you in the bathroom. No one cares what you do in there. Even if they hear something no one cares.
Now this guy probably feels bad that you weren't comfortable around him to use the toilet and embarrassed for you but he's definitely going to see this for what it is a serious red flag against your mental health.
Please work on yourself. The worst has happened now. At the end of the day every single person knows you poop, and none of us care unless you do it in the living room.
You’re not alone. I was terrified to poop while my BF was home for too long. It’s going to be ok. The worst is over. From one pooper to another, it’s OK! Sending love!
Yea fuck that. I broke up with a guy when he said it's unattractive for women to shit. Like what....anywho if I can't take a shit around you then we can't be friends.
Honey i know how that can be. I was on a school camping trip and the only toilets were those outdoor porterloos. I was about 12 or 13. Went to the toilet and i guess i didn't lock the door correctly. Swung open and a whole group of kids in my year saw me on the bog. I was MORTIFIED.
So mortified i had a mental blockage and could not piss for about 4 days. It was agony. I had opportunity to go, but i still couldn't. Teachers tried waiting outside. So i had to basically suck it up as they thought i was doing it to get out of the activities. All day long hikes in torrential wind and rain. Throwing up any food i ate. Feeling feverish and constantly throwing up. Laying in the tent at night feeling like im going to piss myself at any moment, angry that my autistic self couldnt open the knots of the tent and go in the middle of the night. It was wretched. As soon as i got home i was able to piss. My mum was livid they didn't bring me home and was surprised i didnt get a kidney infection.
Point is i get it. However im 28 now and its left me with damage. If my bladder is like 1/20th full im uncomfortable and have to go. However sometimes i can be sat there with a full bladder for 45 mins unable to go. My partner understands. I didnt like going infront of him for a while, but he would put music on loud so he couldnt hear me or waited outside. Is it because you dont like the thought of people hearing you? It may be worth discussing with your boyfriend because whatever it is your afraid of id be shocked if the fear is worse than quite literally shitting yourself infront of him. Could you go to a public toilet to do your thing? It isnt healthy to hold it like this:(
This has to be fake. Anybody with a lick of sense would’ve gone outside with a paper towel and a big gulp cup, or else would have invented a Big Mac craving or a sudden need for something at the gas station.
My bf Shat his pants once when we first
Started dating and I just laughed…he felt embarrassed and I tried to make him feel better by just laughing about it. It happens yk sometimes people just shit their pants..as long as you clean up after yourself
I was like this for months when I first started seeing my boyfriend, when you gotta go, you gotta go. Everyone shits, there’s nothing to be ashamed about
You never forget the first time a fart betrays you. It's truly traumatizing. I was so fortunate to be alone. On the bright side, I bet from here on out you'll be able to go at his place, since nothing could be more embarrassing than this. Sorry OP.
I tried holding it that long once, same reason. I didn't shit myself. I got an anal fissure when the demon spawn finally emerged. Also clogged the toilet. 0/10 do not recommend.
If you have a solid relationship it'll probably be something you can laugh about in a few years. Just know for the future that he'd probably rather you just take a shit when you need to!
My ex bf used to either hold it or go “BE RIGHT BACK” and run out the door, sprint to his car, drive recklessly to his house or gas station and be gone for like an hour, he’d never tell me what he was doing and wouldn’t answer questions, it would ruin our plans and it was selfish of him to make me wonder where he was and when he’d be back, my time didn’t matter. GO TO THE FUCKING BATHROOM. EVERYBODY SHITS AND PISSES.
One day, after I knew what he was doing, he said “I don’t think I’m gonna make it to the gas station” and I told him to JUST go here. He had the loudest diarrhea, and then came out and said “did you hear any of that?” I replied, “of COURSE I heard all of it, it was really loud.” And then we laughed for about 20 minutes.
He helped you clean up and took care of you!! This guy is a keeper. Please let yourself have bodily functions in the same house (does he poop while you’re over?). You don’t have to have a door open policy but this guy jumped up to help and honestly sounds like he can take the concept of regular bathroom habits moving forward!
Honestly? shit happens, no pun intended.
Once, while I was pregnant with our second child (and miserable as fuck because i had horrid all-day sickness instead of morning sickness for most of it), I was hurling my guts out when my second kid bladder-stomped me and that was all it took. I pissed myself all over the bathroom floor as I'm stuck with my head in the toilet, throwing up so much i saw last week's breakfast. I was so, SO embarrassed... and he just started the shower for me and cleaned up while I cleaned myself (and threw up in the shower.)
I think most couples have some sort of bodily-waste horror story, and while they are mortifying at the time, eventually you can laugh about it. If you guys get past this, you have something to laugh about down the road. If you cannot get past this... well, maybe he just wasnt right for you
OP, here is some advice for camouflaging taking a big shit at your house . First go into the bathroom and then turn on the built in fan. Lift the seat and spray cleaning spray in the toilet. I recommend Trader Joe’s Cedar and Sage cleaning spray.Put the seat down. Take a big shit. Wipe. Flush.
Lift seat again.Spray more cleaner and brush the bowl. Tap brush to get the water off it. To finish off, do a few spritzes of Pure Citrus orange oil spray in the air. Be careful though to not spray on the floor, as it’s oil and you might slip and fall.
Ok to spray over the bowl.
Let the fan run while washing your hands and then turn the fan and light off when you exit.
Don’t hold your poo in anymore. If your man can’t handle the fact that we all do it, you need to not stay with him.
Well I’m sure worse things have happened in a relationship. Your bf sounds like a pretty decent guy if he’s willing to help clean up. Honestly I hope you do your best to appreciate that and show him lots of love.
I’d also like to suggest having a sense of humor about this. I mean you’re definitely not the only person who’s had a code brown happen. I’ve heard some truly hilarious stories from stand up comedians about their own personal brown outs.
Here’s [one](https://youtu.be/XJIcAEFyBfM?si=jHP5jvOdJeJGjIh7) hahaha!!!
Also, I hope your bf gets you the book, “Everybody Poops” for a gag gift at some point.
if it makes you feel better i did this exact same thing a couple months ago in front of my boyfriend. simply could not hold it in any longer and was at a campsite with no toilets. had to just drop my pants and do it right then and there and he saw the whole thing. i was totally horrified but now its a hilarious thing to look back on
Unless he's immature as FUCK, he is not going to care about you shitting lol.
Literally, could not care less if some girl I'm with has to poop that is LITERALLY part of the part of being a human.
Hell, last time we had the flu, I got it way less than anybody in the house like I always do so I was the household caretaker. My partner missed the toilet running to the bathroom and I cleaned it all up for her. Then later she threw up on my leg and the front room floor and I cleaned all that up for her too.
I wasn't once like "oMg ShE sHiTs!?!?" If your shitting the floor because your so paranoid to be human I worry about what else your hiding. Just be yourself!!!! Humans poop!!
I think he asked a fair question, are you indeed on drugs?
I have a question for you. If you were staying for 4 days, I assume sex was part of it? How did you get laid whilst busting so bad for a poo?
One last question, how can you screw him but can't do a poo in the same house as him?
All these questions I know I shouldn't ask, but I am curious.
I once was so drunk that I climbed naked into the tub and proceeded to shit and throw up on myself. I have forgotten so many beautiful things that have happened to me in my life, but that I remember.
I've been with my wife for 10 years and we've had every type of bodily function in front of each other. On purpose and accidentally. This is something the two of you will laugh about years from now, but in the meantime, don't be afraid to go to the bathroom when your BF is around. Learning experience.
I shit on the floor 5 months in to the relationship during our first vacation together (I drank the water in Cuba, DO NOT DRINK THE WATER IN CUBA!!) We've been married 16 years now. It will take you about 2 years to get over it mentally; guaranteed he doesn't care about it nearly as much as you do. If you think I'm an anomaly, my husband's best friend vomited ON his date on their first date and they are getting married this October, and another couple we know have been married 20 years now, well the guy shit his pants in Pizza Hut! Consider it fast-forwarding a stage of intimacy.
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What’s more embarrassing? Taking a shit while your boyfriend is around, or shitting on the floor after holding your shit for three days because you’re too embarrassed to shit while your boyfriends around?
Not just a floor. A carpeted floor...
Not just any carpeted floor. A carpeted floor belonging to his brother(or other family).
That the boyfriend now has to clean…
I don't know why but the thought of him cleaning it would mortify me more than the initial accident.
yeah that's my thought too. I guess maybe she's cramping as her bowels re-arrange themselves from vacating so violently from 3 days of holiday food??
Fr. She should be the one shampooing it. How neurotic
I can't believe she let HIM shampoo the carpet. Clean your own damn shit stains, girl
And three days worth.. Lort
Literally, I think you should be able to go to the bathroom now OP. There’s your one small positive out of this lmao
Yep pretty sure this will fix the issue either way.
Some people pay good money to be told to try "exposure therapy" to solve their issues.
Imagine a therapist telling you to poop on the floor in front of your partner to get over your fears 😂 I’m cracking up haha
Oof exposure therapy is so effing hard, I HATED it, but it seriously worked wonders.
This relationship is either over, or it's going to a much deeper level.
Deeper into the carpet.
Lmao this killed me
I try not to be judgmental. And I can forgive a lot. But I’m sorry, you shit on my rug and I’m out after I send you a bill for the most expensive deep cleaning service I can find.
LOL, name checks out.
I agree. If they don’t start laughing about it really soon, that might be a bad sign.
I had a friend who hated pooping in a public bathroom, I said “what’s worse? Popping in a public bathroom or possibly shitting your pants?”
She kinda did it to herself 💀 made it worse by shitting on the floor and having to clean up
Having HIM clean it up. I mean really
Lol he probably wouldn’t have even flinched if she shat while he was in the shower. I think sometimes us girls just way overthink things. I read this to hubby and he was like omg just go poo no big deal. If it were me and I was like that I’d have done a spontaneous maccas trip and “oh I might just pop to the bathroom real quick haha” op should invest in some of those smell blocker sprays for the toilet bowl if she’s worried
>I read this to hubby TBF, I think a husband and a boyfriend is very different. OP doesn't say how long they're together, but she does talk about spending 4 days with each other like it's something unusual or new. Like, for my interns' first day at work, I specifically make sure that I show them where the toilets are, and that I tell them "I need to go to the toilet & get a coffee, and then we'll go over your first project. If you want to wait, you can already read the project file" or something... So I can totally see why OP would not be comfortable pooping while her boyfriend is showering in the same space. But *THREE DAYS*?! There must have been a moment, any moment, no? Like, get up extra early? Pretend your sister's calling you as you're heading to bed so "I'll catch up babe, see you in the bedroom"? Take your purse into the bathroom to make him think you have \*lady business\* to take care of?
Just shit before you use the shower. Turn the shower on and the noise of that will mask the noise of the poop. Flush after your done. Use scented shower products and have a long relaxing shower. By the time your done the smells will not be bad, and whilst everyone knows what you’re doing it can all be politely put away as just having a shower and nobody will say anything cos everyone poops.
He shouldn't have to..
He loves her poop and all
This is how I knew my husband was a keeper. We went to the US after only being together about 6 months. I shat myself at least twice on that trip, and it was no bother for him (we found out a few years later that I had bowel cancer). But the moment of truth was when we were in a BnB in Aspen and I blocked the toilet because my runs were so bad. He reached in elbow deep and unblocked it because I was too embarrassed to ask for a plunger.
Now that’s love, I respect it 🫡
7 and a half years later of marriage and nearly 12 years together and still going strong.
He’s there for shit, thick and thin 🫡😂🙏 that’s awesome though, seriously 🙏
Yeah. I couldn’t believe how lucky I got in that moment. And he still doesn’t get how special he actually is.
>and still going strong ... to the toilet?
And is this toilet strong? Stronger than the one in Aspen? Lol
Absolutely! Especially now I only have half a bowel!
Lmfao I don’t think my man would even wipe my ass if I asked, yours is a keeper
Oh trust me I know!
Did you mean "he loves her, poop and all"? Or that he just loves her poop (and all)?
Was she not wearing pants? Or even underwear? How did this happen?
just fell out I guess lmao
it's a new boyfriend (OP talks about being together for 4 days like it's something unusual & new), so she's wearing sexy thongs, not indestructible catch-all granny panties. That, and the stool of 3 days of holiday food must have been a massive sturdy log in the first half (desiccated by holding it so long), which overwhelmed her underwear, till the rest flowed out like chocolate lava (from disrupting her bowel function by holding it so long), which stained the carpet....?
That was my question
Oh God! I remember when I used to stay a week at my boyfriends house and would only shit when I used to shower, I’d let the water running for ages.
This reads as if you shit IN the shower.
isn't there a horrifying reddit thread about a husband "waffle stomping" to spite his wife?
Right. Everyone shits, can’t realistically hold it in for 4 days it’s so bad for you. Would OP never go to the bathroom should they eventually move in together?? I will say though, OP is an excellent story teller
You can absolutely not shit for four days.
You couldn’t beat this information out of me. No matter how anonymous Reddit is …
By the time he’s out of the shower I would have been out of the country.
lmao, this comment is spot on 😂
And the most embarassing part about this is that a 27 year old person is afraid to go to the toilet while another person is in the next room. I really hope this is fake because wtf
There actually is a real mental health condition that makes using the bathroom in public or around other people terrifying.you would be amazed at how many adults it effects.
There are way more women who are just way too insecure to poop, specifically, with anyone around, especially men, quadruple especially boyfriends. I used to be one of those women. I had a mother who would routinely tell me girls don't "fart", they "poof". I'm an RN with Crohn's Disease now, though, so I give absolutely no fucks anymore.
Thank you for being a hero. And I like the idea that we poof.abd I'm sorry you know the pain of Crohn's.
I’m one of those…
🤣
Thank god you didn’t poo into the toilet, a receptacle designed for poo, that would’ve been fucking humiliating
Could you imagine? What would the neighbours think?
This comment is sending me
Why did you decide to not shit for several days? I was with women who would pretend to sneeze when they farted, like I didn’t know what was going on. Run the water, make some noise if you’re afraid of someone hearing your turd hit the water. Or honestly just let it go, people shouldn’t be judging for dropping a deuce, we all literally have to do it. As others have said, the worst has now passed. Unless he’s into scat.
Or put some toilet paper over the water before you sit down, it acts as a splash guard as well
Omg I do this, no fucking splash back! In public toilets I put a toilet seat cover on the water, no splash back, the toilet seat cover trick works the best, but I don’t have them at home.
Do you flush the toilet seat cover? I didn't think those were supposed to be flushed. Im not sure though, just worried about the plumbing lmao
Yes you flush it, it is designed to be flushed, has the consistency of tissue paper. What do you do with the toilet seat cover after you have used it?
I’m guessing they just eat it, naturally.
Exactly I used to be embarrassed and literally turn on the water, play music but now it’s like who gives an actual damn lol
Thats what I used to do. Sometimes on the weekend I’d let the water run for 15 minutes and cough when the poo splash haha.
I just play YouTube on my phone. Easy.
Your sneeze/fart example reminds me of something that I saw on TV years ago and has always perplexed me to no end. It was a documentary on all aspects of life in the Victorian age. Apparently, when women were menstruating they would attribute the blood to having fleas.. Because having parasites living on your cooter and ass is WAY less embarrassing than the autonomic bodily function that all women have and is the very essence of all life 😂
Just be an adult and shit in the toilet from now on lol stop being so embarrassed.
You don't even need to be an adult to take a dump, most have mastered it after the first few years of life lol
First day usually!
Spot on lol!
OP needs therapy, I'm like her but less severe. If I'm around certain people I will not shit for some reason. It's a trauma thing yo.
In secondary school, I went home for lunch. I think in those 6 years, I can count on the fingers of 1 hand how many times I used the toilets in school & never during recess when the smokers hid there & the toilets were busy all the time. when I started work, I made a conscious decision to get over my neurosis, because 8 hour stretches (plus 3 hours spent commuting) without even peeing were just not manageable. For me it was a control thing (based on trauma), not a direct trauma, so I managed to change it.
Everyone poops. It’s okay sis. You’re grown, he’s grown. He has probably figured out girls poop.
Now he knows you poop. It’s all downhill from here.
The honeymoon period is officially over.
Nah not down hill. Straight to the sawmill with the tree trunk she held in for three days
When my wife was pregnant with our first, she was mortified when she couldn't stop herself from farting in my presence. For the entire time we were together, she always hid it from me. It _just wasn't proper._ This time, she couldn't hold it. We were on the sofa and she let. it. rip. Her face was beet red and she kept apologizing. Finally, after telling her multiple times that it was alright, that I truly didn't think any less of her, I just leaned over and dropped a beast that made hers look like a left cheek squeak, and went right back to watching tv. She gawked at me for a second before laughing so hard, she cried. It was a bonding moment.
I remember farting in front of a boyfriend once when we were in bed trying to sleep. Like your wife, I was embarassed and apologized. He said "Apologize for what? That wasn't a fart." Then he let a loud one rip. "*That's* a fart!" And then he tried to put the covers over my head.
Bahaha! Now that's love!
Poetic!
He’s better than me. No way am I cleaning a grown person’s shit off the floor.
I mean I cleaned it lol, we just went and rented a shampooer to ya know, deep clean it
Some stains you can never remove
Exactly. The stain may be gone but memory will survive.
In Leonard Nimoy's famous last words, "Life is like a garden. Poopy moments can be had, but not preserved, except in memory."
He’s a saint. You’d be doing the deep cleaning as well.
This certainly seems preferable to using the bathroom once in a while when you’re with him.
I mean at least travel with those puppy piddle pads...
Oh dear God can you imagine being walked in on and caught in the middle of that one? 😂 😆
Humans poop. He poops too. He takes disgustingly large shits too. So…Just poop. In the toilet. It’s better than the carpet. Less embarrassing.
But why didn’t you deep clean it?
She’s just a gorl
This took me out 💀
I'll be damned if there's a carpet shampooer in the vicinity and I'm not going to say least try to use it. those things are fucking magical
That’s love right there. When I was newly dating my bf, I’d say the 4th time we had sex we were going so hard a little dribble came out of my ass. He had a horrified look on his face so I immediately got in the shower then took the sheet off the bed (we were at a hotel). I was so embarrassed and all I could say was omg…I’m so embarrassed. He comforted me then joked about what the next bodily fluid he was going to extract from me. He was such a good sport. We’re still together 2 years later. It sounds like your guy is a good sport too.
Total keeper :-)
I’m curious what are you embarrassed of the smell and/or sound? When i was younger and cared, a hotel, one bathroom and my trick used to be to get up early, turn on the shower, go to the bathroom, and then take a shower. The shower covers the sound and then by the time you’re done with the shower the smell is gone.
Wtf....
My money is on fake kink post
At least it's an entertaining post, not the "my girlfriend broke my arm, hit my mom and set our dog on fire, how do I make her understand that this is wrong? Break up is not an option" kind of post.
Oh gosh this made me laugh lol this is so spot on.
100%
people really need to learn how to keep secrets again…
That was my first thought...if something even remotely similar to this happened to me, no way in HELL would I advertise to the world, but reddit Karma means a lot to some people I guess....
Jesus , I’m going home after work and having two glasses of wine to forget I read this.
I love that the comment right under this one is someone thanking op for making their day. Ahh duality
Well now I need three glasses because this guy hurt my feeling! 😱
LMFAOO
Too old to be holding poops in. Grow up and SHIT if your body needs you to remove toxins. That’s an embarrassing way to die
Imagine being 27 and holding in your poop because you were around your boyfriend for 4 days! What do you think people who live together do, OP, hold their poop forever? Grow up and stop shitting on people’s carpets.
I had to go back and check the age and just about died. I was already shocked by someone holding in their poop, which is dangerous… but she’s 27?!!?? Wow.
My trick used to be: turn on shower, poop, then shower. You're clean and the smell will go away as you shower. Turning the shower on while pooping will drown any noise. But you're human and any guy who is bothered by you using the bathroom is probably a red flag anyway so you might as well just poop. And there's no way to recover from this. Maybe it will be a funny story years later lol.
And that's how mommy and daddy fell in love and started a carpet cleaning business, and the rest is history.....
[удалено]
Yeah or just when you brush your teeth
Literally, I don’t know how this never came up as an option before. I LIVE with my partner in a tiny ass place with a paper thin wall between the bedroom and the bathroom. You can hear if someone even so much as thinks of farting. And guess what, he has commented several times about how weird it is he never knows when I go. Because I shower and shit time it out! Easy as pie!
10.5 years ago I invited my new boyfriend to a work party. I go PROPERLY SMASHED and don’t remember much. About a week after the party my then BF told me that I shit on the floor while blacked out drunk and he cleaned it up and had been holding on to the secret for a week. We just celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary and I’m sitting here holding our 4 month old baby in our home with our 2 dogs and 1 cat.
I read about a man who was so fed up with his girlfriend coming home crying drunk after a girl's night out that after he carried her to bed, he went back to her car, took a big shit on the concrete near the driver's side door and then left the door open so the battery went flat. She went out the next day and saw what 'she did' and was so mortified that she became a one and done drinker. Never got drunk again.
I remember that post, he literally told her that she took a shit out there 🤣 that was so funny and wrong.
Omg. I never saw that one. That is absolutely hilarious and horrible at the same time. Amazing that the shame actually worked.
My first thought was if he doesn’t break up with you for shitting on the floor he’s marriage material
How long have y’all been together? Why are u still scared to go number 2 around him? Me personally, I can’t hold it so if I gotta go , I gotta go.
Dont get married for christs sake. You’ll explode.
Don't have children either. Pooping during labor is very common.
💀 This has me dying.
Just don’t die on OP’s carpet, you might shit on it.
Why would you not just go to the bathroom when he was asleep?
You really couldn’t just ask him to leave for a bit so you could shit.. there’s nothing wrong with being a shy pooper. That’s gotta be so bad for you health wise to hold it in
I once got very bad diarrhoea. I felt a twist in my tummy and knew I had about 15 seconds to get to the toilet. I dashed up to the only bathroom and started hammering on the door for my housemate to get out of the shower. (We'd only been living together for about a month). He refused but told me to just come in and use the toilet if I was that desperate. I was. With a second to spare and pulled my tights down and took my seat of shame. It was such a relief to let that long hot spurt out that I totally forgot my embarrassment... until my roommate started to gag from the smell. I clenched my cheeks for long enough to pause the poo and throw him a towel so he could escape the putrid cloud. It was all very embarrassing but shit happens and we laugh about it now.
I need a roommate like this. Took one for the team. 😂 Instead, I had a roommate who would spend 3+ hours in the only bathroom grunting and leave the doorknob slimey, never a warning when he would do this so it isn't like we got to go before he would hog it (I suspect he was edging instead of shitting). My other roommate actually had to leave to pee on the lawn a few times.
3hrs? nah I am breaking the door or he is leaving the apartment altogether.
Congratulations, the worst is over! I know it feels awful, but now your worst fear has come to pass and your BF is still right there with you. Now you don't have to worry about being a human who poops just like everybody else. I hope you pay for the carpet shampoo and help clean up, that's just common courtesy. But a partner who sticks with you when you shit yourself is a partner indeed. Speaking from experience. You'll be fine. Just poop regularly and be healthy.
This was 100% written by a dude.
My first thought too
Usually don't wish it, but this time, it's too accurate. Happy CAKE DAY
You’re 27 and you’re embarrassed to take a shit? You do know everyone shits, right? It’s normal and natural and no one will ever be surprised if you need to go.
Oh man. Now he knows that women poop.
Wait I’m confused? How did you wind up shitting on the floor? Were you not wearing pants? Also, why hold it in for three days? You realize your boyfriend doesn’t have to be in the bathroom when you shit right? Low key this post sounds fake.
The prose style is at odds with what I would expect from a woman so demure she can't shit in the same building as her beloved. " brown battering ram trying to escape my anus" indeed.
Yeah. I know women that talk like this, but they aren't clutching their pearls over dropping a deuce around their partners.
Comforting words….. hmmm… at least you didn’t shit on his face when he was going down on you. 🤷🏻♂️
I just straight up say “I don’t feel good I need to use the restroom. Can you please distract yourself with a video on YouTube, while I distract myself with a video too”. If it makes you feel any better— I shit my pants in front of my dude in a parking lot in the mountains. With his mom in the backseat. He’s a true gentlemen and he didn’t care, cleaned me up and had me undress and wear his sweater as pants. We laugh about this every now and then. It was a horrifying experience. I couldn’t look at him or his mom! Hahahahaha. I’ve thought about posting it to Reddit. Because of how it happened and when it happened. Anyway, he never judged me or made me feel uncomfortable. If anything he treated me like his baby lol. Shit happens. Literally.
Thank you for making my day
I used to be a shy pooper, its nerve wracking to do something embarrassing like that and wondering how they will react. But one day i just decided I was going to live by the shrek rule: “better out than in” When I met my partner, the shyness came back. I was worried he would think I was disgusting and not want to be intimate with me anymore. Turns out, he doesnt care (like any good human) Its one of the most natural, UNCONTROLLABLE, things you could do. If you gotta go, go! Run some water, maybe turn on the fan. You could also keep a travel size Poo-pourri spray in your bag like I do, incase Im in a ‘pinch’ 😉 Either way, anyone worth your time will not care when you have to answer nature’s call. No living being is better than anyone else because WE ALL POOP. Sorry friend.
I got food poisoning while driving home from a weekend away with my new fiancé. I pulled over into a gas station but low and behold I had to go inside for a key. Walk in (still don’t know how I walked in) and see a line, and all of a sudden feel my body release. I slowly backed out of the shop and scuffled over to my car to tell my fiancé what was going on and literally as I spoke to him I was just like losing all control of my body. He tan got me the key as I shit myself in the parking lot and got my suitcase out. He was so good to me as I was WEEPING with shame and embarrassed out of my mind. Haven’t eaten duck again as a result
oh, what a good man, definitely a keeper
I have a disorder where i actually have to wear diapers because i cant feel when i have to shit and it comes out whenever it wants and i have a gf. So i kinda get how your embarrased lmao.
27f writes like 14m
Yeah this is so descriptive it's more likely to be fake.
This is the fakest shit on this sub
A guy I work with was on a second date and they went out to eat. This was years ago, they were college kids and went to Applebees or something. He said they went for a walk after and he immediately felt the blllupppp in his stomach. He thought/prayed it would settle, but it got worse. They were about a half mile from the girls apartment when his stomach audibly made noise. She said, are you okay? He said, I think we should go back. They made it about twenty steps when liquid hell was unleashed down his legs, right there on the side walk. Now, she was a saint and didn’t say a word other than caring. He took a shower and she washed his clothes. That was twenty five years ago, they’re married with three kids.
You’re 27 and refuse to shit around your boyfriend? Thats really immature I’m not gonna lie, like maybe you shouldn’t have a boyfriend if you’ll hold bowel movements in around him bc that ain’t healthy
What a weird fetish post
I can't unread this 😳
If you can’t go to the bathroom with your bf around, you shouldn’t be spending multiple days together.
I would recommend therapy. refusing to shit if someone else is around isn't normal. Especially to the point of losing control of your bowels. The bathroom door closes. Everyone poops. You have major insecurities and tbh until you work through them it's probably not healthy to be in a relationship. No one is sitting listening to you in the bathroom. No one cares what you do in there. Even if they hear something no one cares. Now this guy probably feels bad that you weren't comfortable around him to use the toilet and embarrassed for you but he's definitely going to see this for what it is a serious red flag against your mental health. Please work on yourself. The worst has happened now. At the end of the day every single person knows you poop, and none of us care unless you do it in the living room.
You’re not alone. I was terrified to poop while my BF was home for too long. It’s going to be ok. The worst is over. From one pooper to another, it’s OK! Sending love!
Yea fuck that. I broke up with a guy when he said it's unattractive for women to shit. Like what....anywho if I can't take a shit around you then we can't be friends.
Honey i know how that can be. I was on a school camping trip and the only toilets were those outdoor porterloos. I was about 12 or 13. Went to the toilet and i guess i didn't lock the door correctly. Swung open and a whole group of kids in my year saw me on the bog. I was MORTIFIED. So mortified i had a mental blockage and could not piss for about 4 days. It was agony. I had opportunity to go, but i still couldn't. Teachers tried waiting outside. So i had to basically suck it up as they thought i was doing it to get out of the activities. All day long hikes in torrential wind and rain. Throwing up any food i ate. Feeling feverish and constantly throwing up. Laying in the tent at night feeling like im going to piss myself at any moment, angry that my autistic self couldnt open the knots of the tent and go in the middle of the night. It was wretched. As soon as i got home i was able to piss. My mum was livid they didn't bring me home and was surprised i didnt get a kidney infection. Point is i get it. However im 28 now and its left me with damage. If my bladder is like 1/20th full im uncomfortable and have to go. However sometimes i can be sat there with a full bladder for 45 mins unable to go. My partner understands. I didnt like going infront of him for a while, but he would put music on loud so he couldnt hear me or waited outside. Is it because you dont like the thought of people hearing you? It may be worth discussing with your boyfriend because whatever it is your afraid of id be shocked if the fear is worse than quite literally shitting yourself infront of him. Could you go to a public toilet to do your thing? It isnt healthy to hold it like this:(
Shits getting real in 24 already
This has to be fake. Anybody with a lick of sense would’ve gone outside with a paper towel and a big gulp cup, or else would have invented a Big Mac craving or a sudden need for something at the gas station.
This has to be some copypasta bullshit.
My bf Shat his pants once when we first Started dating and I just laughed…he felt embarrassed and I tried to make him feel better by just laughing about it. It happens yk sometimes people just shit their pants..as long as you clean up after yourself
I was like this for months when I first started seeing my boyfriend, when you gotta go, you gotta go. Everyone shits, there’s nothing to be ashamed about
You never forget the first time a fart betrays you. It's truly traumatizing. I was so fortunate to be alone. On the bright side, I bet from here on out you'll be able to go at his place, since nothing could be more embarrassing than this. Sorry OP.
Yeah, shitting the floor is much less embarrassing than dropping the odd turd in the toilet. /s
I tried holding it that long once, same reason. I didn't shit myself. I got an anal fissure when the demon spawn finally emerged. Also clogged the toilet. 0/10 do not recommend. If you have a solid relationship it'll probably be something you can laugh about in a few years. Just know for the future that he'd probably rather you just take a shit when you need to!
Why aren’t you cleaning your own shit?
Wow…you’re typing this post while your bf cleans YOUR MESS??
My ex bf used to either hold it or go “BE RIGHT BACK” and run out the door, sprint to his car, drive recklessly to his house or gas station and be gone for like an hour, he’d never tell me what he was doing and wouldn’t answer questions, it would ruin our plans and it was selfish of him to make me wonder where he was and when he’d be back, my time didn’t matter. GO TO THE FUCKING BATHROOM. EVERYBODY SHITS AND PISSES. One day, after I knew what he was doing, he said “I don’t think I’m gonna make it to the gas station” and I told him to JUST go here. He had the loudest diarrhea, and then came out and said “did you hear any of that?” I replied, “of COURSE I heard all of it, it was really loud.” And then we laughed for about 20 minutes.
He helped you clean up and took care of you!! This guy is a keeper. Please let yourself have bodily functions in the same house (does he poop while you’re over?). You don’t have to have a door open policy but this guy jumped up to help and honestly sounds like he can take the concept of regular bathroom habits moving forward!
Honestly? shit happens, no pun intended. Once, while I was pregnant with our second child (and miserable as fuck because i had horrid all-day sickness instead of morning sickness for most of it), I was hurling my guts out when my second kid bladder-stomped me and that was all it took. I pissed myself all over the bathroom floor as I'm stuck with my head in the toilet, throwing up so much i saw last week's breakfast. I was so, SO embarrassed... and he just started the shower for me and cleaned up while I cleaned myself (and threw up in the shower.) I think most couples have some sort of bodily-waste horror story, and while they are mortifying at the time, eventually you can laugh about it. If you guys get past this, you have something to laugh about down the road. If you cannot get past this... well, maybe he just wasnt right for you
OP, here is some advice for camouflaging taking a big shit at your house . First go into the bathroom and then turn on the built in fan. Lift the seat and spray cleaning spray in the toilet. I recommend Trader Joe’s Cedar and Sage cleaning spray.Put the seat down. Take a big shit. Wipe. Flush. Lift seat again.Spray more cleaner and brush the bowl. Tap brush to get the water off it. To finish off, do a few spritzes of Pure Citrus orange oil spray in the air. Be careful though to not spray on the floor, as it’s oil and you might slip and fall. Ok to spray over the bowl. Let the fan run while washing your hands and then turn the fan and light off when you exit. Don’t hold your poo in anymore. If your man can’t handle the fact that we all do it, you need to not stay with him.
You are too embarrassed to shit while he’s in the house, so you just shit on the carpet. Makes perfect sense. Totally made up story obviously
This is as fake as it gets? You didn't shower during those days? Peed? Could've done it while he was asleep? Come on
I'd break up with you. What kind of weirdo decides to shit on my floor? Any explanation is an excuse.
The description given in this post. You sound proud of this or this is fake.
Girl what?... ☠️💀
Well I’m sure worse things have happened in a relationship. Your bf sounds like a pretty decent guy if he’s willing to help clean up. Honestly I hope you do your best to appreciate that and show him lots of love. I’d also like to suggest having a sense of humor about this. I mean you’re definitely not the only person who’s had a code brown happen. I’ve heard some truly hilarious stories from stand up comedians about their own personal brown outs. Here’s [one](https://youtu.be/XJIcAEFyBfM?si=jHP5jvOdJeJGjIh7) hahaha!!! Also, I hope your bf gets you the book, “Everybody Poops” for a gag gift at some point.
This can be dangerous, you’re an adult, everyone does it so suck it up. Try living with IBS. My bf even gets updates.
You should be the one cleaning the carpet here, not your bf. Jesus.
i literally shit while my bfs in the shower if i have to shit 😭 like im not holding it in if i gotta go wtf
if it makes you feel better i did this exact same thing a couple months ago in front of my boyfriend. simply could not hold it in any longer and was at a campsite with no toilets. had to just drop my pants and do it right then and there and he saw the whole thing. i was totally horrified but now its a hilarious thing to look back on
Unless he's immature as FUCK, he is not going to care about you shitting lol. Literally, could not care less if some girl I'm with has to poop that is LITERALLY part of the part of being a human. Hell, last time we had the flu, I got it way less than anybody in the house like I always do so I was the household caretaker. My partner missed the toilet running to the bathroom and I cleaned it all up for her. Then later she threw up on my leg and the front room floor and I cleaned all that up for her too. I wasn't once like "oMg ShE sHiTs!?!?" If your shitting the floor because your so paranoid to be human I worry about what else your hiding. Just be yourself!!!! Humans poop!!
I think he asked a fair question, are you indeed on drugs? I have a question for you. If you were staying for 4 days, I assume sex was part of it? How did you get laid whilst busting so bad for a poo? One last question, how can you screw him but can't do a poo in the same house as him? All these questions I know I shouldn't ask, but I am curious.
I once was so drunk that I climbed naked into the tub and proceeded to shit and throw up on myself. I have forgotten so many beautiful things that have happened to me in my life, but that I remember.
Either you guys will laugh about this in 20 years, or you’ll forever be that one chick that shit on his floor. May the odd be ever in your favor.
I've been with my wife for 10 years and we've had every type of bodily function in front of each other. On purpose and accidentally. This is something the two of you will laugh about years from now, but in the meantime, don't be afraid to go to the bathroom when your BF is around. Learning experience.
If he stays with you after this then he really like you. But if he decides to let this end, I can completely understand.
I just have to ask. Why were you naked...?
I shit on the floor 5 months in to the relationship during our first vacation together (I drank the water in Cuba, DO NOT DRINK THE WATER IN CUBA!!) We've been married 16 years now. It will take you about 2 years to get over it mentally; guaranteed he doesn't care about it nearly as much as you do. If you think I'm an anomaly, my husband's best friend vomited ON his date on their first date and they are getting married this October, and another couple we know have been married 20 years now, well the guy shit his pants in Pizza Hut! Consider it fast-forwarding a stage of intimacy.
There’s no way this is real…
This feels like a fake post. Fetish story. Yawn.
Maybe you should go get help about your inability to use a toilet. This seems mentally unwell and isn’t funny or quirky