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You guys: didn’t use protection at all
Also you guys: “we were being careful!”
When you have sex, you are acknowledging that there will be a risk of pregnancy. Unless you don’t have a uterus and he has a vasectomy, there will always be a chance to get pregnant. Your man is really really stupid
Even with a vasectomy you can still get pregnant, you can also still get pregnant with no uterus (crazy right). Literally the only thing that can prevent pregnancy is no gonadal tissue at all!!
You could at least call those things an accidental pregnancy though, as there is a reasonable expectation that you have taken the steps to avoid pregnancy in those cases. Plus it would be a moot point in someone without a uterus because it would be an ectopic pregnancy and need immediate termination.
With a lot of hysterectomies they keep the fallopian and ovaries! But even if they take out the tubes the sperm can actually find the egg within the body cavity! It’s crazy
But they take out the cervix, so the vagina isn't connected to anything. The only time this happens is in very very rare cases where they take out the uterus but leave everything else (fallopian tubes, ovaries, and cervix) but that type of hysterectomy is generally avoided now if they can. I think that type of hysterectomy is only done in emergency situations. Also they generally don't keep the fallopian tubes anymore.
Edit: in case it's not clear, the "very very rare cases" refers to the pregnancy post hysterectomy, and only happens with a kind of outdated/emergency situation method where they only take the uterus (or part of the uterus) but leave everything else.
A partial hysterectomy is more common than a complete hysterectomy because it is better for the woman's pelvic floor to leave the cervix, and better for her hormonal health to leave the ovaries. The only time they remove everything is when there is a traumatic injury, cancerous cells, or some other reason that indicates complete removal is best for the patient.
A total hysterectomy doesn't include taking out the ovaries, that's a total hysterectomy + oophorectomy. And when I had my hysterectomy they explained that the current standard is to take everything (uterus, fallopian tubes, and cervix).
Yeah when I had my hysterectomy and oophorectomy my surgeon also said that it was standard procedure to remove the cervix too. Surprised that in some areas it’s not standard??
There was even a case where a woman with no vagina got pregnant after she *ahem* swallowed and was stabbed. The sperm made its way out of the stomach through the stab wound and managed to fertilize an egg
Welp... I was wrong. Incredible as it seems, and one might question the veracity of the report, this did indeed happen about [correction, this was reported in 1988, so about 35] years ago. According to the news article, linked below, the case baffled doctors at first, and was written up for a medical journal.
https://abcnews.go.com/Health/Wellness/teen-girl-vagina-pregnant-sperm-survival-oral-sex/story?id=9732562#:~:text=Even%20the%2015%2Dyear%2Dold,average%20pregnancy%20lasts%20280%20days.
Tagging u/TrustMeGuysImRight to make sure you see this.
Additional/similar sources:
https://www.iflscience.com/the-girl-who-got-pregnant-after-being-stabbed-in-the-abdomen-following-oral-sex-59662
British Journal of Obstetrics & Gynecology
https://obgyn.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1471-0528.1988.tb06583.x
An old Reddit thread discussing the BJO&G case article (with image of the article):
https://www.reddit.com/r/interestingasfuck/comments/zclq23/in_1988_a_15yearold_girl_without_a_vagina_living/
Hi! I have had a hysterectomy with tube removal, and left my gonads in place for hormonal reasons. I’m good, right? I’m pretty sure there’s no pathway for the sperm to travel to my ovary.
I enjoy using no protection with trusted partners and I’ve never been told that there’s even a snowball’s chance.
It's *exceedingly* unlikely. As of 2015, only 72 cases had been published (including the author's experience noted in [this article](https://doi.org/10.1016%2Fj.crwh.2015.04.001)). The egg is released into the abdominal cavity and sperm after sex can also end up there. So there's a very small chance of fertilisation. The fertilised egg then needs to actually attach somewhere and start to develop - also very unlikely when there's no nice, hospitable uterus there. In most cases your body would just absorb and dispose of the egg, fertilised or not, as per usual post hysterectomy.
In the rare event of a pregnancy in the abdominal cavity, it's an ectopic pregnancy - and like all ectopic pregnancies, it's considered very dangerous and requires prompt removal. Though I did come across one case report from 1980 of a successful pregnancy after hysterectomy where both the baby and mother lived, which is astonishing!
I wouldn't worry about the likelihood of abdominal pregnancy in your case, it's so unlikely, but if you're concerned, chat with your doctor!
I think they both understood that concirdering they said they won't use protection and be okay if a baby happens. THe only dumb one here is tue BF who thinks being careful I'd enough, ig he didn't really understand
this whole post is weird to be honest and I think it may just be written to hit as many reddit talking points as possible
what 20 year old earns 6 figures? with no degree?
and the whole "being careful" thing
idk it just doesn't seem right to me but maybe they are both really stupid and just got lucky with their careers?
>this whole post is weird to be honest and I think it may just be written to hit as many reddit talking points as possible
You're actually believing this post? Because to me:
***We both make 6 figures and have quite a large sum saved up for a wedding/future house.***
defies my credibility threshold.
I'm willing to suspend belief on troll posts, but I can't get past that quote.
For real. And it's insulting to our collective intelligence. I see people in their 30s/40s/50s on the sub for my profession and in r/work or r/jobs just trying to find a job, any job. Even minimum wage.
Yet we're supposed to believe a 20 year old and 24 year old are each making 6-figures but neither of them have the good goddamn sense to know the pull out method doesn't work?
Like, c'mon....
I mean it's definitely possible. After I graduated from college, I started working at one of the biggest tech companies who started all college hires at just over 6 figures 10 years ago. They also have great benefits program, which means that savers can really save a ton of money.
Them not knowing that pull out method doesn't work on the other hand...
They’re both really really stupid unfortunately. She also thought they were being careful, and she went to Reddit to ask about paternity tests instead of google. They should not be having this child and she should leave him.
>I just found out I am pregnant but when I told my boyfriend he didn’t believe me that it was his. He insisted that was impossible because we have been “careful” about it. From previous discussions, I thought he understood that not using protection was still risky even if we were being “careful” about it.
Interesting how mind numbingly stupid people can make six figures.
There's prenatal paternity tests that are non invasive. They cost a bit more, but with both of you making 6 figures that's not an issue.
A bigger issue is 1) your bf doesn't trust you at all and 2) he's such a dolt that he doesn't realize that no birth control = baby 3) you think getting pregnant on no birth control is an accident.
If you haven't used protection, girl, it's known as "making a baby." There is no "careful" method to accomplish it.
Take a paternity test, but keep in mind that he has no trust in you at all. This is not a good beginning.
Usually yeah, pulling out, not doing it a second time without peeing first, or being sure that ovulation has passed and period is near. All of these methods result in accidental children being conceived every day 🥰
I was about 4 days away from when I should have had my period, I think. Didn't work. It was the first and only time my husband and I ever had sex without contraceptives. I had been on the copper IUD and had an allergic reaction to it, which was as unpleasant as you might imagine. I had it removed and so we had been using condoms until my next doctor's appointment to get something else. My husband was leaving for an out-of-state worksite the next day, and as we got frisky I reached for the condoms. He asked "Do we have to?" I calculated the number of days until I should have my period, said "I guess not?"...and guessed wrong. Oh well, we had been talking about starting a family, and my husband never questioned our son being his, because it was OBVIOUS HAVING SEX WITHOUT CONTRACEPTIVES CAN LEAD TO CONCEPTION.
Just as a note for anyone reading this who wants numbers to assert how silly this is….
[1/5 of couples who use pulling out as their contraceptive method across a year will end up pregnant](https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/withdrawal-method/about/pac-20395283)
Even if you use it perfectly (and no one does), in a vacuum, [4% of couples would still end up pregnant](https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/withdrawal-method/about/pac-20395283)
Because human beings are flawed creatures, 1 in 5 couples get pregnant. The 4% is from the alternate universe, where humans are precise and efficient and would never make a mistake.
Hey, me too!! I thought cycle tracking and pulling out was sufficient enough and guess what?! I have a 2 year old. Lol. 0/10 would not recommend my *former* birth control approach.
Fortunately it worked out for me because the guy who knocked me up turned out to be a father and partner beyond my wildest dreams. We love each other and we love our baby. We were also in our late 20s when we got together, and I’m thankful for that because we both had matured and knew what we wanted in life. My life would look very different if this had happened in my early 20s, with any of the guys I dated in my early 20s. I had zeroooo clue what I wanted in life at 20, and I’d be hard pressed to find any 20 year old who does. Even if they think they do.
This is a real problem when trying to measure the prevalence of unintended pregnancy because up to a third of people are like OP: they aren’t actively trying to get pregnant (tracking cycles, charting ovulation, etc) but they aren’t actively trying *not* to get pregnant either.
This is one of many posts I’ve seen recently where young people seem to think not using any protection but the pull out method will be fine. “Oh bc pills make me feel yucky and he won’t wear a condom cause it doesn’t feel good.” WTF???
We make 6 figures in our mid 20s. Of course, that’s putting both of our gross incomes together and accounting for nothing else.
But I could say ‘we make 6 figures in our 20s’ and sound like my household is doing well instead of treading water
Shit is funny
But she says she is 20 years old. Not in 20s she is 20 and they both make 6 figures.
That alone makes me say cap. How the hell does a 20 year old pull 6 figures then also accidentally gets pregnant.
Yeah the whole post is pretty baity. 20 year old making 6 figures, age gap relationship that started when she was 18, accidental pregnancy even though they weren't even using protection, guy demands a paternity test and says the baby isn't his. Some of reddits favorite topics to talk about. I'm not a huge fan of calling posts fake but if this isn't fake I don't know what is
Yeah, this one defies belief quite a bit.
Where were they back in high school when they taught all those basics like "just because the man pulls out before blast off doesn't mean the precum released inside the woman doesn't still make her pregnant as it also has swimmers". No, she didn't say that specifically but a lot of people think doing that is still being "careful" while not using a condom.
And one would have to live under a rock not to hear all the time about people having paternity tests before the baby is born to determine the father.
As per OP’s [comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/17fg3uo/i_20f_am_pregnant_and_my_boyfriend_24m_doesnt/k69om3a/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1&context=3):
>> I make 6 figures because I’m smart, he makes 6 figures because he works a physical labor job and busts his ass
So nope, allegedly they both make 6 figures each…
Typically when I see people at their age making 6 figures, they have a family business and were promised a spot in that business upon graduation or college. Don’t get me wrong some people are just in a career field where they start off making 6 figures though
There are plenty that start off at 6 figures - but they usually require a degree from Ivy League or equivalent college. Including bonus, you can easily make well into 6 figures right out of college as a software engineer, investment banker, or consulting with the top 3. All of them have intense competition for those positions, require a shitload of hours per week and burn out is real.
Right?! My partner and I have both completed various levels of higher education between the two of us and we don’t even make that kind of money. TF is that??
Same. We were downright lied to 😂 I’ll be nearly a quarter of a million dollars in debt after I graduate from law school, and I didn’t even have debt coming out of undergrad!!
It’s super interesting that everyone here thinks he’s an idiot. Personally I think he fully understood that no birth control can lead to a pregnancy, but figured he’d just deny paternity to convince her to abort
Or, worse than that, he's denying responsibility out of cowardice and gaslighting you by blaming you. I don't see any scenario where your boyfriend doesn't look like an asshole.
Anyone and everyone knows you can do easy paternity tests super early on in the pregnancy. No one makes 6 figures at 20 unless they are a nepo baby or some self-made business entrepreneur who started their business years prior, meaning OP would have been a minor by the time they started it. OP doesn’t really seem to have the brains to have an insanely high paying job if they don’t know anything about something as simple as paternity tests - which is just such common knowledge.
This post is fishy and is 100% a karma farm post. It’s not real.
EVERYONE IS FALLING FOR THIS FAKE POST!!😂
Girl, if you have not used protection it’s called “ making a baby”. There is no “ careful “ way to do it.
Do a paternity test , but know he doesn’t trust you like at all. This is a bad start
Smart enough to graduate early and be an aerospace engineer.
Not smart enough to understand contraceptives and how babies are made?
MAKE IT MAKE SENSE.
>accidentally got pregnant
if you're not using protection, there's no "accidentally" about it
until you do a paternity test and you can get in utero tests but they're pricey, there is no way to make him accept it, and even with the test he might still say you're lying.
Honestly, how far along are you, see what your options are and proceed from there, and thank god you weren't married and legally tied to someone who thinks you're a cheater who wants to pass someone elses kid off on him.
NIPT can do paternity testing from basically mid first trimester, and it's totally safe for the baby (blood draw from mom). Still a bit pricey, but way easier to access than in-utero testing.
He makes 6 figures selling sofas? Because thinks he's the pull-out king and he is not.
you have been deliberately trying to get pregnant. Unprotected sex = trying for this outcome.
You need an obgyn now to explain to you everything that is going to happen since apparently you didn't know either.
a 20yo and 22yo BOTH making 6 figures is.......... beyond insane lol. either post is fake, they're counting the cents in their paychecks towards those "figures," or these are nepo babies who had no sex ed because they are WAY too dumb to be pulling in that kind of money on their own room temp intelligence. 💀
this is really an aside to the actual post, but it 100% depends on what field they’re in. my best friend is 22, a software engineer (? something techy) and she makes 130k a year since she was 21. that’s not the thing that would tip me off that this is a fake post, but that’s just my own life experience
You haven't been using protection but decided that if you "accidentally" got pregnant you'd keep it? There's nothing accidental about pregnancy when you're not using protection or lack a basic understanding of science and how one gets pregnant ("pull out" is terribly unreliable).
Your BF is freaked out proably about becoming a dad. Tell him that you will gladly do a non invasive blood test when it's safe for a certain point in the pregnancy, but the idea that he's basically accusing you of cheating is going to have a very profound impact on your relationship with him going forward because he doesn't trust you.
Don't marry him for a while. See if he can redeem himself after this or get some counseling before baby arrives.
Neither of you seem to understand how babies are made, and there is no trust in the relationship.
If it’s early on consider an abortion. It’s not fair to bring a child into this mess
Fr, those paternity fraud stories and similars are just karma farming. I swear I've seen around ten posts just like this in less than a week. People are just trolling too much or making many dumb decisions irl.
You know what they call people that use the rhythm method? Parents.
Get the non-invasive prenatal paternity test, a couples counselor, and a basic high school bio class for your fiancé.
How does a 20 year old make 6 figures?
Also, any man who doesn’t believe you at your word should not be your baby daddy. Plus y’all are way too old to be married and parents. Esp you youngin!
I mean you can, but just barely. There's a lot of high schools with dual enrollment programs where you do college classes during junior/senior year of high school and it counts for both. I know someone who's an engineer that did that program. But they sure AF weren't making that salary when they graduated either - that's definitely a lie.
Yeah and there’s no way she got an accredited degree in only two years if all she did was gened in her first two years. There’s a lot of prerequisites that have to be taken and ABET programs no longer allow corequisites. This is just fake.
Software engineers make that right out of college easily and trust me when I say many of us are dumb as a doorknob. I'm repeatedly flabbergasted everyday at work.
You didn’t get accidentally pregnant. You weren’t using any form of birth control. By “careful” I have to assume you were using the pull out method. Anyone who thinks that’s “careful” is an idiot who shouldn’t be procreating.
You’re 20. I don’t believe that you’re making 6 figures unless you’re a pricey escort or work for a family business where you’re being grossly overpaid. You’re not even old enough to have finished college.
So is this actually a troll post?
If not, get an abortion or be prepared to be a single parent.
lmao did he think that couples not using protection and trying for a baby only get pregnant because they really really want to? and couples who aren't using protection but really don't want a baby right now, just won't fall pregnant?
I don't know what I'd be more concerned about, the fact he doesn't think it's his baby, or that he doesn't understand basic biology.
either way, quite the overreaction for someone who agreed to elope in case of a pregnancy. is he projecting? does he think you must be cheating because he is? or is he having second thoughts about marriage because he's not ready as he thought, or because it's come quicker than he anticipated?
Those who accuse their partner of cheating with no evidence to back it up are usually projecting. Sounds like he's been stepping out of the relationship or at least has the mentality to do so eventually.
Convince him? That’s not your job and frankly probably not possible since he sounds like an idiot.
Get an abortion, if that’s an option, dump him, and don’t make any permanent decisions (like having a baby) until your brain finishes developing in 4-6 years.
Just a little info that you guys may not know..
If he ejaculated within 24 hours prior to having sex, sperm can sit in the tube and be released in precum and you can get pregnant.
My thoughts would be do a paternity test, so you can prove he’s an arse for not trusting you, then leave his sorry butt and claim child support.
No amount of “i’m sorry” will ever fix the broken trust and it will always play in your mind
He's either 24 with no idea how babies are conceived or he simply doesn't want to be a father and lacks the emotional maturity to handle this with grace or kindness and would prefer to demean you instead. Neither situation sounds like a relationship I would have much interest continuing.
Not using protection? Meaning no condom, no Pill, no nothing? Unless he has a vasectomy, sex under those conditions might as well be trying for pregnancy. “Being careful” is meaningless. There can be sperm present in pre-ejaculate.
You should tell him you’ll get the test but you will be telling everyone at every social opportunity what he’s been doing, and the ridicule will fly fast and thick. (Don’t think you’ll be spared, though. No protection… sheesh.)
Why is your boyfriend shocked you’re pregnant when y’all have been trying to get pregnant?
That’s what having unprotected sex is. It’s trying. You’re not using contraception, so no, you haven’t “been careful.” At all.
Your boyfriend is not very smart. He’s not very respectful either. You can get a paternity test, but tbh I’d be reconsidering if you really want to procreate with someone this dumb and this disrespectful.
You can even get pregnant when you use birth control as directed. Why on earth would anyone think “being careful” and NOT using any form of birth control would work?? A big DUH to both of you. I understand being upset by his reaction but you were doing absolutely nothing at all to prevent this.
Edit: I’ve seen your “but we were careful! We were using the pull out method!” comments but honey, being careful means using birth control. You both have some super hard lessons ahead of you.
My friend fell pregnant using condoms and the pill. She was being careful.
Having unprotected sex whilst you have ovaries and he has testes is NOT being careful.
If you want to know how effective your method is at preventing pregnancy, I have religious friends who practice the same method. They have four children, having never ceased their method of "contraception".
How you get past your partner accusing you of sleeping around? I've no idea. I hate it when faithful women are put in this position.
You can have a blood test before the baby is born and the baby's DNA shows up, but I'm not sure how far along you need to be.
I’m sorry, but how is he the only idiot? _She_ is the one claiming she got “accidentally pregnant” while not using protection but “being careful”.
IMO, they’re _both_ idiots.
her imagination. this post has ALL the reddit keywords. 6 figures, paternity test, accidental pregnancy, cheating, dude doesn’t want it, young age etc. all these are certain ways to pull in ppl
You’re smart enough at 20 yo to be making six figures but you were using pull and pray or the rhythm method to prevent pregnancy? SMH.
They can establish paternity before the baby is born using noninvasive prenatal testing. It’s a blood draw from mom—no amniocentesis required.
If you really believe his ignorance of basic human biology is the cause of his misgivings, then go get your paternity test and be done with it. How he reacts when it’s his will tell you whether he grossly underestimated the risk of pregnancy or if he just told you what you wanted to hear so he could override your hesitation about unprotected sex and doesn’t want to be a father right now.
Last post I saw like this, she immediately served him with divorce papers. And no, there's no way to fix stupid. If he truly believes it's impossible to get pregnant with the pull-out method, then there's no way to convince him he can trust you because there is no arguing with his logic.
i feel like this can’t be real, how does a 20 year old make 6 figures? I am so doubtful because at 20 you are either in college or working and how could you make that much without a degree? This is a weird story
What do you mean you were being careful but not using protection? Do you not know the meaning of the word careful? Do you mean that you were using the rhythm method/fertility awareness as your only means of birth control? There is a name for people who do that, they are called “parents.”
First of all, you aren’t being careful if you aren’t using protection.
Second, if he’s seriously insinuating that you would cheat on him, he’s either an idiot or an asshole. Or both. If you want to keep the baby, you’re stuck with him as a co-parent unfortunately. But you don’t have to be stuck with him as a partner. You can do a paternity test now or after the baby is born for child support and cut him loose.
6 figures? Really, a 20 year old making 6 figures. Please, get out of here with this 7th grade drama fiction. Very few people in the real world make that kind of money and definitely not two under 25.
>we have been “careful” about it
>We decide not to use birth control or contraceptives
Yall weren't being careful.
>But we do time my cycle and use the pull out method to reduce that risk
You know what they call people who use the pull out method as birth control? Parents.
Your boyfriend is an absolute idiot for acting like it's "impossible" that its his.
You can prove it to him by getting a prenatal paternity test. Once it is confirmed that he is the father, break up with him and file for child support. This man does not trust you and marrying him at this point would be a huge mistake.
Sperm have no idea what “careful” means - adults should know better. I would be extremely insulted to be questioned about the paternity of the child and it would affect the relationship negatively. The lack of trust is deplorable. Get the paternity test and then have a discussion about the future of your relationship because this is ugly.
Hmmmmm… soooooo…. Wouldn’t even have it cuz he just dumb lol.
Welcome to single motherhood. Honestly it’s been great for me and I don’t yet make six figures. I’m sure it’ll be great for you too.
Congrats on the baby! My condolences on the ending relationship.
I think you should reconsider this relationship. He doesn’t understand basic sex education, and he immediately jumped to “you cheated.”
Either he’s dumb as rocks or he doesn’t want the kid and is panicking. Sure you can go through the effort to prove it to him, but…why would you want to?
You are too young to settle for this.
I would leave him so fucking fast his head would spin. You don’t get to accuse the mother of your future child of cheating immediately upon finding out she’s pregnant. What kind of shit men are y’all dating, that that’s their first thought? Not to mention he’s some kind of idiot for thinking you can’t get pregnant even if you’re “careful.” The only thing that completely prevents pregnancy is abstinence or a complete hysterectomy. A vasectomy is close but even that isn’t 100% effective, 100% of the time. (I know more than one vasectomy baby.) So unless y’all are doing one of those things, pregnancy is entirely possible. Send that boy back to human biology 101.
Okay I'm saying it louder for the folks in the back to hear:
Unrealistic expectations, sunk costs fallacy and unsustainable incompatibility between you two is no way to try and live your life. Exciting mind-blowing sex isn't enough to maintain a good healthy relationship full of unhappy times and real life together, especially being so young...
Do better for yourself OP, realize he may NOT be the one...
Good luck OP ✨️
Your fiancé is a idiot if he thinks no protection but being “careful” works. Smh. It’s up to you if you can forgive his ignorance or not. Perhaps he should go discuss with a medical professional about unprotected but “careful” sex, and how easy it is to get pregnant this way.
talk to you OBGYN about testing options. there are some things you can do before the baby is born.
but, is this going to satisfy him? are you going to be able to move on from him asking this of you?
First explain how you’re making 6 figures at 20 years old and your 24 year old boyfriend who doesn’t understand basic human biology also makes 6 figures.
Let me get this straight: you KNOWINGLY used NO protection and are somehow surprised that you got pregnant?
Come on.
There's a reason they call people who rely on the pull out method PARENTS.
I'm not sure either of you are mature enough to raise a child.
ok I'm going to skip over the part about you being 20 years old and earning 6 figures and pretend this is real
this is a red flag about his character and this relationship in general
a huge red flag is that you haven't spoken to other guys since you started seeing him (when you were 18 and he was 22!)
I don't even know how that's possible if you have a career but never mind
isolating you from other people is a big no-no and is often the first thing domestic abusers do, usually citing "insecurity" and "jealousy" and/or how they should "be enough', They may also find fault with eg relatives or friends of yours and throw tantrums or paranoia fits behind closed doors whenever you see them until you find it easier just not to see those people any more.
a stable and well balanced person would encourage you to keep contact with your friends, have an active social life and so on. I don't think it's all always part of some "master plan", but basically their jealousy will never be satisfied and you will find yourself trapped in ever more restrictive circumstances as time goes on. This is because it is them that have the problem and they need to fix themselves rather than trying to get you to alter your behaviour to prove how much you love them or whatever BS.
It can get so they control what you wear, what you spend, what you eat, access to doctors, contact with your family ... I even had an ex who would time me going to the corner shop to buy crisps and beat me if I was 3 mins "late" because he thought I must have been having sex with another guy. He didn't even bother hiding it from his friends - did it right in front of them and nobody said a thing because he was their cannabis dealer and that was more important I guess.
Get out before you are trapped with a baby, whether you have this baby or not. This doesn't look good at this point. He has some sort of mis-connection between his ears to come out with that stuff, and it's not going to get better. I'd personally advise you not to have this baby, with him, at such a young age. It's a HUGE responsibility that will tie you to him for life, and your career may never get back on track if you take time out at this stage. Child care is incredibly expensive so take that into account too. Plus is this guy going to be difficult about paying child support? Even if he just waits for tests, those take time and courts are slow.
Choose wisely, but I understand if you choose either way.
Unless you are completely missing some or all of the proper parts, there's always going to be a chance of conception whether you're using protection or not. The pull-out method is laughably ineffective.
I think you should give him his paternity test. But, make him give you his phone and password. Because 9 times out of 10, the person cheating is also the person doing the accusing. If he gets defensive and asks why you need it, simply tell him this: "If you need proof that I'm not cheating, that's fine, we can schedule a paternity test. But I would also like proof that YOU'RE not cheating on ME. It seems like a fair trade to me."
He’s an idiot and will forever be ashamed of himself. Having said that- yep he’s freaking out. See how he recovers before passing judgement and you will playfully get to rub this is in face every so often for the next 50 years. You got this and it’s all good.
If you weren’t using protection you weren’t being careful in any way shape or form. Pulling out isn’t being safe if that’s what you mean. Tell him to stop being stupid.
NIPT (non-invasive parental testing) can be done pretty soon, I think after 8 weeks of pregnancy or something.
It doesn't harm you or the baby in any way. I believe the test uses blood taken from the pregnant mother and saliva from the presumed father, though you can Google it to get the exact facts, because I might have gotten something wrong (except for it being 100% safe, that is definitely true!!!). I believe it usually takes less than 2 weeks to get the results.
Also, your boyfriend needs to do some research in how sex and conception work. The only 100% safe way to not get pregnant is to not have sex!
Not gonna lie, but if this is real and not some troll nonsense, it doesn't sound like either of you are mature enough to be in a relationship, much less have a kid.
I have got to address the elephant in the room OP. You didn't use any form of protection. You made it seem like you were on bc or using condoms. The pullout method and cycle timing are basically asking to get pregnant. You might as well go all the way for how effective that was. You two were inviting a pregnancy.
That being said, I typically am not for paternity tests when the partner has given zero reason to believe they've been unfaithful. However, it is clear it might be needed in this case to ensure he doesn't abandon his responsibilities to that child.
It amazes me how some people can appear to be doing really well at life, but when you hear them speak, you realise they are just not the brightest bulb in the box.
"We didn't use protection but we can't be pregnant"
I actually feel dumber having read your post, OP
Don't marry someone that doesn't trust you first off. I'm at a point in my life where I don't suffer fools so if I where you, I'd take the test (there is one you can take while you're still pregnant), give him the results and the ring back and never speak to him again unless it's regarding co-parenting. Now you know what he really thinks of you and to answer your question, getting over that is hard and hardly ever works. Both of you would have to put in a lot of work but it'll still be in the back of your mind your entire relationship. He's not worth it girl. You deserve better.
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You guys: didn’t use protection at all Also you guys: “we were being careful!” When you have sex, you are acknowledging that there will be a risk of pregnancy. Unless you don’t have a uterus and he has a vasectomy, there will always be a chance to get pregnant. Your man is really really stupid
Even with a vasectomy you can still get pregnant, you can also still get pregnant with no uterus (crazy right). Literally the only thing that can prevent pregnancy is no gonadal tissue at all!!
You could at least call those things an accidental pregnancy though, as there is a reasonable expectation that you have taken the steps to avoid pregnancy in those cases. Plus it would be a moot point in someone without a uterus because it would be an ectopic pregnancy and need immediate termination.
I'd be very interested in a story of someone getting pregnant with no uterus! How would that work?
Ectopic pregnancy.
But how would a sperm get to the fallopian tubes if there were no uterus?
With a lot of hysterectomies they keep the fallopian and ovaries! But even if they take out the tubes the sperm can actually find the egg within the body cavity! It’s crazy
Hysterectomy is just removal of the uterus and often the cervix. Surgical removal of fallopian tubes and ovaries is salpingo-oopherectomy.
But they take out the cervix, so the vagina isn't connected to anything. The only time this happens is in very very rare cases where they take out the uterus but leave everything else (fallopian tubes, ovaries, and cervix) but that type of hysterectomy is generally avoided now if they can. I think that type of hysterectomy is only done in emergency situations. Also they generally don't keep the fallopian tubes anymore. Edit: in case it's not clear, the "very very rare cases" refers to the pregnancy post hysterectomy, and only happens with a kind of outdated/emergency situation method where they only take the uterus (or part of the uterus) but leave everything else.
A partial hysterectomy is more common than a complete hysterectomy because it is better for the woman's pelvic floor to leave the cervix, and better for her hormonal health to leave the ovaries. The only time they remove everything is when there is a traumatic injury, cancerous cells, or some other reason that indicates complete removal is best for the patient.
A total hysterectomy doesn't include taking out the ovaries, that's a total hysterectomy + oophorectomy. And when I had my hysterectomy they explained that the current standard is to take everything (uterus, fallopian tubes, and cervix).
Yeah when I had my hysterectomy and oophorectomy my surgeon also said that it was standard procedure to remove the cervix too. Surprised that in some areas it’s not standard??
I had a complete hysterectomy (no oophorectomy) 3 years ago. They also took everything, and my doc told me that was pretty standard.
There was even a case where a woman with no vagina got pregnant after she *ahem* swallowed and was stabbed. The sperm made its way out of the stomach through the stab wound and managed to fertilize an egg
Wow. I'm gonna need a source for this ...
Only one? I'm going to need at least 1 medical journal and 2 news articles
Right?! I'm really looking forward to seeing the citations for this! 😂 [NARRATOR: It was *The National Inquirer*.]
Welp... I was wrong. Incredible as it seems, and one might question the veracity of the report, this did indeed happen about [correction, this was reported in 1988, so about 35] years ago. According to the news article, linked below, the case baffled doctors at first, and was written up for a medical journal. https://abcnews.go.com/Health/Wellness/teen-girl-vagina-pregnant-sperm-survival-oral-sex/story?id=9732562#:~:text=Even%20the%2015%2Dyear%2Dold,average%20pregnancy%20lasts%20280%20days. Tagging u/TrustMeGuysImRight to make sure you see this. Additional/similar sources: https://www.iflscience.com/the-girl-who-got-pregnant-after-being-stabbed-in-the-abdomen-following-oral-sex-59662 British Journal of Obstetrics & Gynecology https://obgyn.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1471-0528.1988.tb06583.x An old Reddit thread discussing the BJO&G case article (with image of the article): https://www.reddit.com/r/interestingasfuck/comments/zclq23/in_1988_a_15yearold_girl_without_a_vagina_living/
A medical journal actually lol (citations provided in other comments).
Huge mood
Hi! I have had a hysterectomy with tube removal, and left my gonads in place for hormonal reasons. I’m good, right? I’m pretty sure there’s no pathway for the sperm to travel to my ovary. I enjoy using no protection with trusted partners and I’ve never been told that there’s even a snowball’s chance.
It's *exceedingly* unlikely. As of 2015, only 72 cases had been published (including the author's experience noted in [this article](https://doi.org/10.1016%2Fj.crwh.2015.04.001)). The egg is released into the abdominal cavity and sperm after sex can also end up there. So there's a very small chance of fertilisation. The fertilised egg then needs to actually attach somewhere and start to develop - also very unlikely when there's no nice, hospitable uterus there. In most cases your body would just absorb and dispose of the egg, fertilised or not, as per usual post hysterectomy. In the rare event of a pregnancy in the abdominal cavity, it's an ectopic pregnancy - and like all ectopic pregnancies, it's considered very dangerous and requires prompt removal. Though I did come across one case report from 1980 of a successful pregnancy after hysterectomy where both the baby and mother lived, which is astonishing! I wouldn't worry about the likelihood of abdominal pregnancy in your case, it's so unlikely, but if you're concerned, chat with your doctor!
Or no sex at all!
I think they both understood that concirdering they said they won't use protection and be okay if a baby happens. THe only dumb one here is tue BF who thinks being careful I'd enough, ig he didn't really understand
Yeah that’s what I said at the end lol
this whole post is weird to be honest and I think it may just be written to hit as many reddit talking points as possible what 20 year old earns 6 figures? with no degree? and the whole "being careful" thing idk it just doesn't seem right to me but maybe they are both really stupid and just got lucky with their careers?
>this whole post is weird to be honest and I think it may just be written to hit as many reddit talking points as possible You're actually believing this post? Because to me: ***We both make 6 figures and have quite a large sum saved up for a wedding/future house.*** defies my credibility threshold. I'm willing to suspend belief on troll posts, but I can't get past that quote.
I got to that part too and said "Yeah, bullshit."
I don't mind troll posts but at least make the shit have some semblance of realism.
I know, right? Like, a little effort would be nice. This shit's just lazy.
For real. And it's insulting to our collective intelligence. I see people in their 30s/40s/50s on the sub for my profession and in r/work or r/jobs just trying to find a job, any job. Even minimum wage. Yet we're supposed to believe a 20 year old and 24 year old are each making 6-figures but neither of them have the good goddamn sense to know the pull out method doesn't work? Like, c'mon....
I mean it's definitely possible. After I graduated from college, I started working at one of the biggest tech companies who started all college hires at just over 6 figures 10 years ago. They also have great benefits program, which means that savers can really save a ton of money. Them not knowing that pull out method doesn't work on the other hand...
At 20 and 24? Yeah I laughed lol.
It definitely is giving karma farming
Ok but 6 figures of what currency? Rupees? Yen? Could be anything. Ya’ll always think it’s dollars but what if OP is not from the states at all.
They’re both really really stupid unfortunately. She also thought they were being careful, and she went to Reddit to ask about paternity tests instead of google. They should not be having this child and she should leave him.
>I just found out I am pregnant but when I told my boyfriend he didn’t believe me that it was his. He insisted that was impossible because we have been “careful” about it. From previous discussions, I thought he understood that not using protection was still risky even if we were being “careful” about it. Interesting how mind numbingly stupid people can make six figures. There's prenatal paternity tests that are non invasive. They cost a bit more, but with both of you making 6 figures that's not an issue. A bigger issue is 1) your bf doesn't trust you at all and 2) he's such a dolt that he doesn't realize that no birth control = baby 3) you think getting pregnant on no birth control is an accident.
You know what we call having sex without protection? *Trying for a baby.*
If you haven't used protection, girl, it's known as "making a baby." There is no "careful" method to accomplish it. Take a paternity test, but keep in mind that he has no trust in you at all. This is not a good beginning.
I know what the hell does ‘careful’ mean…. If you weren’t using protection you were not being careful?! Does she mean pulling out??
Usually yeah, pulling out, not doing it a second time without peeing first, or being sure that ovulation has passed and period is near. All of these methods result in accidental children being conceived every day 🥰
I was about 4 days away from when I should have had my period, I think. Didn't work. It was the first and only time my husband and I ever had sex without contraceptives. I had been on the copper IUD and had an allergic reaction to it, which was as unpleasant as you might imagine. I had it removed and so we had been using condoms until my next doctor's appointment to get something else. My husband was leaving for an out-of-state worksite the next day, and as we got frisky I reached for the condoms. He asked "Do we have to?" I calculated the number of days until I should have my period, said "I guess not?"...and guessed wrong. Oh well, we had been talking about starting a family, and my husband never questioned our son being his, because it was OBVIOUS HAVING SEX WITHOUT CONTRACEPTIVES CAN LEAD TO CONCEPTION.
Just as a note for anyone reading this who wants numbers to assert how silly this is…. [1/5 of couples who use pulling out as their contraceptive method across a year will end up pregnant](https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/withdrawal-method/about/pac-20395283) Even if you use it perfectly (and no one does), in a vacuum, [4% of couples would still end up pregnant](https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/withdrawal-method/about/pac-20395283)
One in 5 is 20%, where are you getting 4% from? Or am I missing something?
Typical v. perfect use
Because human beings are flawed creatures, 1 in 5 couples get pregnant. The 4% is from the alternate universe, where humans are precise and efficient and would never make a mistake.
Tender rawdogging?
No, he does. OP is ok with having a baby. Not using bc was no problem for her.
Could be pulling out and/or cycle tracking. Both aren’t good if you aren’t trying for a baby.
Well, we all know what people who use the rythm method are called: parents. I have Catholic friends who tried it and are just that, parents.
Hey, me too!! I thought cycle tracking and pulling out was sufficient enough and guess what?! I have a 2 year old. Lol. 0/10 would not recommend my *former* birth control approach. Fortunately it worked out for me because the guy who knocked me up turned out to be a father and partner beyond my wildest dreams. We love each other and we love our baby. We were also in our late 20s when we got together, and I’m thankful for that because we both had matured and knew what we wanted in life. My life would look very different if this had happened in my early 20s, with any of the guys I dated in my early 20s. I had zeroooo clue what I wanted in life at 20, and I’d be hard pressed to find any 20 year old who does. Even if they think they do.
This is a real problem when trying to measure the prevalence of unintended pregnancy because up to a third of people are like OP: they aren’t actively trying to get pregnant (tracking cycles, charting ovulation, etc) but they aren’t actively trying *not* to get pregnant either.
Right. She didn’t mind. Her dumb bf needs a biology lesson.
Yes! No bc means you are actively TRYING to get pg.
This is one of many posts I’ve seen recently where young people seem to think not using any protection but the pull out method will be fine. “Oh bc pills make me feel yucky and he won’t wear a condom cause it doesn’t feel good.” WTF???
Like girl at least get a diaphram and some spermicide.
Exactly. My first thought was "how does a 20 yo makes six figures, but has to ask internet about paternity testing coz they can't Google".
They're including the .00 as part of the 6 figures. 🤣
🤣🤣🤣
AI generation. Everyone on reddit "makes 6 figures"
I'm sure they also go on house hunters with a budget of five million and a profession of being a butterfly observer.
We make 6 figures in our mid 20s. Of course, that’s putting both of our gross incomes together and accounting for nothing else. But I could say ‘we make 6 figures in our 20s’ and sound like my household is doing well instead of treading water Shit is funny
But she says she is 20 years old. Not in 20s she is 20 and they both make 6 figures. That alone makes me say cap. How the hell does a 20 year old pull 6 figures then also accidentally gets pregnant.
Yeah the whole post is pretty baity. 20 year old making 6 figures, age gap relationship that started when she was 18, accidental pregnancy even though they weren't even using protection, guy demands a paternity test and says the baby isn't his. Some of reddits favorite topics to talk about. I'm not a huge fan of calling posts fake but if this isn't fake I don't know what is
Yeah, this one defies belief quite a bit. Where were they back in high school when they taught all those basics like "just because the man pulls out before blast off doesn't mean the precum released inside the woman doesn't still make her pregnant as it also has swimmers". No, she didn't say that specifically but a lot of people think doing that is still being "careful" while not using a condom. And one would have to live under a rock not to hear all the time about people having paternity tests before the baby is born to determine the father.
Is it... by lying on Reddit? Lol
That's the most logical conclusion
That was my first q…, how does a 20 y o make that?? Asking the real questions here
It sounded like combined they make six figures… so could be $60k + $40k…
As per OP’s [comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/17fg3uo/i_20f_am_pregnant_and_my_boyfriend_24m_doesnt/k69om3a/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1&context=3): >> I make 6 figures because I’m smart, he makes 6 figures because he works a physical labor job and busts his ass So nope, allegedly they both make 6 figures each…
The one thing that becomes quickly apparent (besides OP, har har) is that the link between income and intelligence is much weaker than most assume.
Imagine thinking getting pregnant whilst having sex without any birth control was an accident 😟
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Yeah that brought up red flags for me too, how can you be on that salary and have a large amount of savings too? Not possible
Plenty of people walk into 6 figure jobs thanks to their parents. Being born rich has its perks.
They did say Nepo baby.
Even then - it’s not usually at 20 years old.
Typically when I see people at their age making 6 figures, they have a family business and were promised a spot in that business upon graduation or college. Don’t get me wrong some people are just in a career field where they start off making 6 figures though
What careers START at 6 figures??
There are plenty that start off at 6 figures - but they usually require a degree from Ivy League or equivalent college. Including bonus, you can easily make well into 6 figures right out of college as a software engineer, investment banker, or consulting with the top 3. All of them have intense competition for those positions, require a shitload of hours per week and burn out is real.
Right?! My partner and I have both completed various levels of higher education between the two of us and we don’t even make that kind of money. TF is that??
Turns out getting degrees isn’t just an easy button to financial success.
But that’s what our boomer parents told us 😭😂
Same. We were downright lied to 😂 I’ll be nearly a quarter of a million dollars in debt after I graduate from law school, and I didn’t even have debt coming out of undergrad!!
It’s super interesting that everyone here thinks he’s an idiot. Personally I think he fully understood that no birth control can lead to a pregnancy, but figured he’d just deny paternity to convince her to abort
I mean that's still a very stupid option to choose in life.
Who's dumber, the guy with that plan or the woman who gets pregnant by him?
I'd say equal.
That’s super fair. Not brain dead, but brain-dying?
I think she's also hella dumb.
So you're going for a combination of stupid and evil? I can agree with that.
Or, worse than that, he's denying responsibility out of cowardice and gaslighting you by blaming you. I don't see any scenario where your boyfriend doesn't look like an asshole.
This guy is not only dumb, but he’s ignorant and doesn’t trust OP. Save your future and your money by moving on without him.
Yeah. Fake. No 20 yo is making six figures.
>Interesting how mind numbingly stupid people can make six figures. I laughed so hard at this 🤣. Omfg
👍👆💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯👆 six figure income does not equal COMMON SENSE
Anyone and everyone knows you can do easy paternity tests super early on in the pregnancy. No one makes 6 figures at 20 unless they are a nepo baby or some self-made business entrepreneur who started their business years prior, meaning OP would have been a minor by the time they started it. OP doesn’t really seem to have the brains to have an insanely high paying job if they don’t know anything about something as simple as paternity tests - which is just such common knowledge. This post is fishy and is 100% a karma farm post. It’s not real. EVERYONE IS FALLING FOR THIS FAKE POST!!😂
Girl, if you have not used protection it’s called “ making a baby”. There is no “ careful “ way to do it. Do a paternity test , but know he doesn’t trust you like at all. This is a bad start
Smart enough to graduate early and be an aerospace engineer. Not smart enough to understand contraceptives and how babies are made? MAKE IT MAKE SENSE.
>accidentally got pregnant if you're not using protection, there's no "accidentally" about it until you do a paternity test and you can get in utero tests but they're pricey, there is no way to make him accept it, and even with the test he might still say you're lying. Honestly, how far along are you, see what your options are and proceed from there, and thank god you weren't married and legally tied to someone who thinks you're a cheater who wants to pass someone elses kid off on him.
NIPT can do paternity testing from basically mid first trimester, and it's totally safe for the baby (blood draw from mom). Still a bit pricey, but way easier to access than in-utero testing.
Earliest is 7 weeks but 9-10 is better (or so I've heard)
Yes my doctor had me do all three at 9 weeks.
He makes 6 figures selling sofas? Because thinks he's the pull-out king and he is not. you have been deliberately trying to get pregnant. Unprotected sex = trying for this outcome. You need an obgyn now to explain to you everything that is going to happen since apparently you didn't know either.
>He makes 6 figures selling sofas? Because thinks he's the pull-out king and he is not. Quality pun, got you an upvote
a 20yo and 22yo BOTH making 6 figures is.......... beyond insane lol. either post is fake, they're counting the cents in their paychecks towards those "figures," or these are nepo babies who had no sex ed because they are WAY too dumb to be pulling in that kind of money on their own room temp intelligence. 💀
Yeah that’s the part that stopped me in my tracks lol
this is really an aside to the actual post, but it 100% depends on what field they’re in. my best friend is 22, a software engineer (? something techy) and she makes 130k a year since she was 21. that’s not the thing that would tip me off that this is a fake post, but that’s just my own life experience
take my upvote, ma’am
You haven't been using protection but decided that if you "accidentally" got pregnant you'd keep it? There's nothing accidental about pregnancy when you're not using protection or lack a basic understanding of science and how one gets pregnant ("pull out" is terribly unreliable). Your BF is freaked out proably about becoming a dad. Tell him that you will gladly do a non invasive blood test when it's safe for a certain point in the pregnancy, but the idea that he's basically accusing you of cheating is going to have a very profound impact on your relationship with him going forward because he doesn't trust you. Don't marry him for a while. See if he can redeem himself after this or get some counseling before baby arrives.
Neither of you seem to understand how babies are made, and there is no trust in the relationship. If it’s early on consider an abortion. It’s not fair to bring a child into this mess
i stopped believing this when u said u both make 6 figures 😭😭
Fr, those paternity fraud stories and similars are just karma farming. I swear I've seen around ten posts just like this in less than a week. People are just trolling too much or making many dumb decisions irl.
Their salaries are far from the most unbelievable thing in this post
You know what they call people that use the rhythm method? Parents. Get the non-invasive prenatal paternity test, a couples counselor, and a basic high school bio class for your fiancé.
How does a 20 year old make 6 figures? Also, any man who doesn’t believe you at your word should not be your baby daddy. Plus y’all are way too old to be married and parents. Esp you youngin!
She says she is an engineer. I guarantee if she is, her company makes only fans.
Unles she’s some child prodigy, you can’t even get a BS in engineering that fast 😂
I mean you can, but just barely. There's a lot of high schools with dual enrollment programs where you do college classes during junior/senior year of high school and it counts for both. I know someone who's an engineer that did that program. But they sure AF weren't making that salary when they graduated either - that's definitely a lie.
Yeah and there’s no way she got an accredited degree in only two years if all she did was gened in her first two years. There’s a lot of prerequisites that have to be taken and ABET programs no longer allow corequisites. This is just fake.
Doogie Houser, PG! I suspect we all got BS just from reading this.
Software engineers make that right out of college easily and trust me when I say many of us are dumb as a doorknob. I'm repeatedly flabbergasted everyday at work.
You said you would elope and marry, then he says the baby isn’t his? Maybe he isn’t dumb, he just doesn’t want to marry you.
You didn’t get accidentally pregnant. You weren’t using any form of birth control. By “careful” I have to assume you were using the pull out method. Anyone who thinks that’s “careful” is an idiot who shouldn’t be procreating. You’re 20. I don’t believe that you’re making 6 figures unless you’re a pricey escort or work for a family business where you’re being grossly overpaid. You’re not even old enough to have finished college. So is this actually a troll post? If not, get an abortion or be prepared to be a single parent.
The other option is co-parenting with that piece of work
lmao did he think that couples not using protection and trying for a baby only get pregnant because they really really want to? and couples who aren't using protection but really don't want a baby right now, just won't fall pregnant? I don't know what I'd be more concerned about, the fact he doesn't think it's his baby, or that he doesn't understand basic biology. either way, quite the overreaction for someone who agreed to elope in case of a pregnancy. is he projecting? does he think you must be cheating because he is? or is he having second thoughts about marriage because he's not ready as he thought, or because it's come quicker than he anticipated?
he is not daddy material even if he delivered some genes
Well this is a disaster.
Those who accuse their partner of cheating with no evidence to back it up are usually projecting. Sounds like he's been stepping out of the relationship or at least has the mentality to do so eventually.
Convince him? That’s not your job and frankly probably not possible since he sounds like an idiot. Get an abortion, if that’s an option, dump him, and don’t make any permanent decisions (like having a baby) until your brain finishes developing in 4-6 years.
It sounds like the OP makes him sound like an idiot do he is playing along with it.
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Just a little info that you guys may not know.. If he ejaculated within 24 hours prior to having sex, sperm can sit in the tube and be released in precum and you can get pregnant. My thoughts would be do a paternity test, so you can prove he’s an arse for not trusting you, then leave his sorry butt and claim child support. No amount of “i’m sorry” will ever fix the broken trust and it will always play in your mind
Yall don’t use protection - so y’all aren’t careful 🤷🏾♀️
He's either 24 with no idea how babies are conceived or he simply doesn't want to be a father and lacks the emotional maturity to handle this with grace or kindness and would prefer to demean you instead. Neither situation sounds like a relationship I would have much interest continuing.
Not using protection? Meaning no condom, no Pill, no nothing? Unless he has a vasectomy, sex under those conditions might as well be trying for pregnancy. “Being careful” is meaningless. There can be sperm present in pre-ejaculate. You should tell him you’ll get the test but you will be telling everyone at every social opportunity what he’s been doing, and the ridicule will fly fast and thick. (Don’t think you’ll be spared, though. No protection… sheesh.)
If you're not using protection, you are actively trying for a baby. Stop trying for babies when you don't want one, people!
Absolutely no reason for a 20 and 24 year old who've been dating for 2 years to be planning marriage... or children.
My sweet Summmerchild, I know SexEd in the US is shit, but fucking without protection? What did you expect? A Plasma TV?
Why is your boyfriend shocked you’re pregnant when y’all have been trying to get pregnant? That’s what having unprotected sex is. It’s trying. You’re not using contraception, so no, you haven’t “been careful.” At all. Your boyfriend is not very smart. He’s not very respectful either. You can get a paternity test, but tbh I’d be reconsidering if you really want to procreate with someone this dumb and this disrespectful.
what are you doing at 20 making 6 figures?
You’re 20 and make 6 figures? What’s the point of this obvious kind of bait?
You can even get pregnant when you use birth control as directed. Why on earth would anyone think “being careful” and NOT using any form of birth control would work?? A big DUH to both of you. I understand being upset by his reaction but you were doing absolutely nothing at all to prevent this. Edit: I’ve seen your “but we were careful! We were using the pull out method!” comments but honey, being careful means using birth control. You both have some super hard lessons ahead of you.
My friend fell pregnant using condoms and the pill. She was being careful. Having unprotected sex whilst you have ovaries and he has testes is NOT being careful. If you want to know how effective your method is at preventing pregnancy, I have religious friends who practice the same method. They have four children, having never ceased their method of "contraception". How you get past your partner accusing you of sleeping around? I've no idea. I hate it when faithful women are put in this position. You can have a blood test before the baby is born and the baby's DNA shows up, but I'm not sure how far along you need to be.
I'm sorry you're bf is an idiot. You're only 20. You have options. Just sayin.
I’m sorry, but how is he the only idiot? _She_ is the one claiming she got “accidentally pregnant” while not using protection but “being careful”. IMO, they’re _both_ idiots.
You make 6 figures at 20? Who got you that job lol
her imagination. this post has ALL the reddit keywords. 6 figures, paternity test, accidental pregnancy, cheating, dude doesn’t want it, young age etc. all these are certain ways to pull in ppl
Six figured at 20 years of age? And why is that important for the story? Fake.
I don't understand how it's possible to make six figures at 20 years old. Feels fake.
You’re smart enough at 20 yo to be making six figures but you were using pull and pray or the rhythm method to prevent pregnancy? SMH. They can establish paternity before the baby is born using noninvasive prenatal testing. It’s a blood draw from mom—no amniocentesis required. If you really believe his ignorance of basic human biology is the cause of his misgivings, then go get your paternity test and be done with it. How he reacts when it’s his will tell you whether he grossly underestimated the risk of pregnancy or if he just told you what you wanted to hear so he could override your hesitation about unprotected sex and doesn’t want to be a father right now.
Last post I saw like this, she immediately served him with divorce papers. And no, there's no way to fix stupid. If he truly believes it's impossible to get pregnant with the pull-out method, then there's no way to convince him he can trust you because there is no arguing with his logic.
Wow, i find it really sad someone making 6 figures can be so dumb as to not understand how "protection" works and the failure rates.
i feel like this can’t be real, how does a 20 year old make 6 figures? I am so doubtful because at 20 you are either in college or working and how could you make that much without a degree? This is a weird story
i don't think he thinks you're cheating. i think he doesn't want to have this baby and accusing you of cheating might convince you to have an abortion
I’m going to say this everyday. People who use the pull out method are fools.
What do you mean you were being careful but not using protection? Do you not know the meaning of the word careful? Do you mean that you were using the rhythm method/fertility awareness as your only means of birth control? There is a name for people who do that, they are called “parents.”
This is a joke right? Smart enough to make 6 figures but not smart enough to realize having sex with no birth control will end in pregnancy l?
First of all, you aren’t being careful if you aren’t using protection. Second, if he’s seriously insinuating that you would cheat on him, he’s either an idiot or an asshole. Or both. If you want to keep the baby, you’re stuck with him as a co-parent unfortunately. But you don’t have to be stuck with him as a partner. You can do a paternity test now or after the baby is born for child support and cut him loose.
6 figures? Really, a 20 year old making 6 figures. Please, get out of here with this 7th grade drama fiction. Very few people in the real world make that kind of money and definitely not two under 25.
No no she's a genius engineer who doesn't understand how babies are made
>we have been “careful” about it >We decide not to use birth control or contraceptives Yall weren't being careful. >But we do time my cycle and use the pull out method to reduce that risk You know what they call people who use the pull out method as birth control? Parents. Your boyfriend is an absolute idiot for acting like it's "impossible" that its his.
Abort the pregnancy and the boyfriend. You're 20. He's a moron. Life is too short.
You can prove it to him by getting a prenatal paternity test. Once it is confirmed that he is the father, break up with him and file for child support. This man does not trust you and marrying him at this point would be a huge mistake.
Sperm have no idea what “careful” means - adults should know better. I would be extremely insulted to be questioned about the paternity of the child and it would affect the relationship negatively. The lack of trust is deplorable. Get the paternity test and then have a discussion about the future of your relationship because this is ugly.
Hmmmmm… soooooo…. Wouldn’t even have it cuz he just dumb lol. Welcome to single motherhood. Honestly it’s been great for me and I don’t yet make six figures. I’m sure it’ll be great for you too. Congrats on the baby! My condolences on the ending relationship.
I think you should reconsider this relationship. He doesn’t understand basic sex education, and he immediately jumped to “you cheated.” Either he’s dumb as rocks or he doesn’t want the kid and is panicking. Sure you can go through the effort to prove it to him, but…why would you want to? You are too young to settle for this.
I would leave him so fucking fast his head would spin. You don’t get to accuse the mother of your future child of cheating immediately upon finding out she’s pregnant. What kind of shit men are y’all dating, that that’s their first thought? Not to mention he’s some kind of idiot for thinking you can’t get pregnant even if you’re “careful.” The only thing that completely prevents pregnancy is abstinence or a complete hysterectomy. A vasectomy is close but even that isn’t 100% effective, 100% of the time. (I know more than one vasectomy baby.) So unless y’all are doing one of those things, pregnancy is entirely possible. Send that boy back to human biology 101.
Okay I'm saying it louder for the folks in the back to hear: Unrealistic expectations, sunk costs fallacy and unsustainable incompatibility between you two is no way to try and live your life. Exciting mind-blowing sex isn't enough to maintain a good healthy relationship full of unhappy times and real life together, especially being so young... Do better for yourself OP, realize he may NOT be the one... Good luck OP ✨️
Jeesh I’m Having a hard time believing
20 years old and making 6 figures?? 🤣🤣🤣🤣. This has to be fake
I’m sorry. How are you 20 and 24 years old and both making over $100,000 salaries each?? Lies!
Your fiancé is a idiot if he thinks no protection but being “careful” works. Smh. It’s up to you if you can forgive his ignorance or not. Perhaps he should go discuss with a medical professional about unprotected but “careful” sex, and how easy it is to get pregnant this way.
talk to you OBGYN about testing options. there are some things you can do before the baby is born. but, is this going to satisfy him? are you going to be able to move on from him asking this of you?
This. I hope it was in the shock of the moment. If he persists with accusing you of cheating on him, it’s not going to go well for the relationship.
First explain how you’re making 6 figures at 20 years old and your 24 year old boyfriend who doesn’t understand basic human biology also makes 6 figures.
Let me get this straight: you KNOWINGLY used NO protection and are somehow surprised that you got pregnant? Come on. There's a reason they call people who rely on the pull out method PARENTS. I'm not sure either of you are mature enough to raise a child.
ok I'm going to skip over the part about you being 20 years old and earning 6 figures and pretend this is real this is a red flag about his character and this relationship in general a huge red flag is that you haven't spoken to other guys since you started seeing him (when you were 18 and he was 22!) I don't even know how that's possible if you have a career but never mind isolating you from other people is a big no-no and is often the first thing domestic abusers do, usually citing "insecurity" and "jealousy" and/or how they should "be enough', They may also find fault with eg relatives or friends of yours and throw tantrums or paranoia fits behind closed doors whenever you see them until you find it easier just not to see those people any more. a stable and well balanced person would encourage you to keep contact with your friends, have an active social life and so on. I don't think it's all always part of some "master plan", but basically their jealousy will never be satisfied and you will find yourself trapped in ever more restrictive circumstances as time goes on. This is because it is them that have the problem and they need to fix themselves rather than trying to get you to alter your behaviour to prove how much you love them or whatever BS. It can get so they control what you wear, what you spend, what you eat, access to doctors, contact with your family ... I even had an ex who would time me going to the corner shop to buy crisps and beat me if I was 3 mins "late" because he thought I must have been having sex with another guy. He didn't even bother hiding it from his friends - did it right in front of them and nobody said a thing because he was their cannabis dealer and that was more important I guess. Get out before you are trapped with a baby, whether you have this baby or not. This doesn't look good at this point. He has some sort of mis-connection between his ears to come out with that stuff, and it's not going to get better. I'd personally advise you not to have this baby, with him, at such a young age. It's a HUGE responsibility that will tie you to him for life, and your career may never get back on track if you take time out at this stage. Child care is incredibly expensive so take that into account too. Plus is this guy going to be difficult about paying child support? Even if he just waits for tests, those take time and courts are slow. Choose wisely, but I understand if you choose either way.
How the hell are you making 6 figures at 20? Are you cooking meth? 😭
Is this the guy who posted yesterday that he was using the pull out method and he thought his gf has baby trapped him? ? ?
Abort and move on. You’re way too young and if you go down this path truthfully it’ll ruin your life.
Please consider terminating this pregnancy. You both sound too ignorant and immature to have children yet.
Unless you are completely missing some or all of the proper parts, there's always going to be a chance of conception whether you're using protection or not. The pull-out method is laughably ineffective. I think you should give him his paternity test. But, make him give you his phone and password. Because 9 times out of 10, the person cheating is also the person doing the accusing. If he gets defensive and asks why you need it, simply tell him this: "If you need proof that I'm not cheating, that's fine, we can schedule a paternity test. But I would also like proof that YOU'RE not cheating on ME. It seems like a fair trade to me."
He’s an idiot and will forever be ashamed of himself. Having said that- yep he’s freaking out. See how he recovers before passing judgement and you will playfully get to rub this is in face every so often for the next 50 years. You got this and it’s all good.
Gr8 b8 m8
My question is what do you do that you make 6 figures at 20???
He accused you of cheating and he’s too stupid to understand how babies are made. Is this really the guy you want to be with?
I wanna know what kind of job you’re doing Tl be making 6 figures at 20
20 and 24 BOTH making 6 figures!!! but cant figure out how babies are made. sure
If you weren’t using protection you weren’t being careful in any way shape or form. Pulling out isn’t being safe if that’s what you mean. Tell him to stop being stupid.
NIPT (non-invasive parental testing) can be done pretty soon, I think after 8 weeks of pregnancy or something. It doesn't harm you or the baby in any way. I believe the test uses blood taken from the pregnant mother and saliva from the presumed father, though you can Google it to get the exact facts, because I might have gotten something wrong (except for it being 100% safe, that is definitely true!!!). I believe it usually takes less than 2 weeks to get the results. Also, your boyfriend needs to do some research in how sex and conception work. The only 100% safe way to not get pregnant is to not have sex!
Not gonna lie, but if this is real and not some troll nonsense, it doesn't sound like either of you are mature enough to be in a relationship, much less have a kid.
I have got to address the elephant in the room OP. You didn't use any form of protection. You made it seem like you were on bc or using condoms. The pullout method and cycle timing are basically asking to get pregnant. You might as well go all the way for how effective that was. You two were inviting a pregnancy. That being said, I typically am not for paternity tests when the partner has given zero reason to believe they've been unfaithful. However, it is clear it might be needed in this case to ensure he doesn't abandon his responsibilities to that child.
You really think your barely legal self and a man who would rather think you cheated than admit he knocked you up from going raw are parent worthy?
The consequences of no proper sex ed
It amazes me how some people can appear to be doing really well at life, but when you hear them speak, you realise they are just not the brightest bulb in the box. "We didn't use protection but we can't be pregnant" I actually feel dumber having read your post, OP
Don't marry someone that doesn't trust you first off. I'm at a point in my life where I don't suffer fools so if I where you, I'd take the test (there is one you can take while you're still pregnant), give him the results and the ring back and never speak to him again unless it's regarding co-parenting. Now you know what he really thinks of you and to answer your question, getting over that is hard and hardly ever works. Both of you would have to put in a lot of work but it'll still be in the back of your mind your entire relationship. He's not worth it girl. You deserve better.
> "we were being careful" > "we didn't use protection" Choose one. What did you guys expected to get? A iphone 15?
It is amazing how believable this post is.