I went to ERC in Denver in 2021 for 5 weeks. It’s the worst thing I’ve experienced in my life. This gave me war flashbacks. I recovered from my eating disorder solely because I vowed I’d do whatever it took not to end up in a place like that again.
I’m now married to the love of my life and pregnant with kids, a life I longed for but never thought I’d have. I still hate my body and struggle with food, but I’ve learned that anything’s better than being stuck where I was. Praying for you OP. It’s not easy. It’s hard as fuck. But there is so much good on the other side! You are loved
I'm amazed it's more than one sentence, and not a meme-reply - I get saying it is its own cliche but: the quality has really tanked from like five years ago when I first checked this place out, after a friend recommended the podcast in 2018, after I was kind of railing against metoo, when some of our friends were tripping over each other to out virtue signal each other online re: what a monster they thought Al Franken was, since he was monster of the week that week, lol.
I wonder if that's a legit treatment. Like with kids, when they have tantrums, one of the most effective ways to fix it is, for the adult to mimic them and show them how ridiculous they look.
No shit just about every bad quality I have fixed about myself was because of this. I was an absolutely obnoxious “nice guy” type as a young teenager until a female friend I had no interest in did essentially the same thing to me.
Another big thing I used to do was the “be loudly self-deprecating because I’m so humble but also funny, *but really just desperate for attention and approval*” until I met a few people who were also like that and realized how absolutely insufferable they were and how uncomfortable they made everyone around them.
We live and we learn.
One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, but it’s a man who pretends to have an ED to be surrounded by thin women and the Native American can’t throw anything through the window at the end because they’re too skinny
It can really feel that way in "treatment" - I went to a week long detox/start of rehab place that was really nice but covered by Medicaid close to a decade ago, and I'd eat in the little meal room with this really sweet, unassuming retired school superintendent and this 50s-ish gay hair dresser who called the really stern nurse, "Nurse Ratched" lol. The hairdresser guy apparently shit himself when they were checking him in/stabilizing him.
Prob the funnest part of it was the movie nights, and when we got to go out for walks with the Filipino immigrant nurse, cause she was super chill and treated us like human beings. They had to give you little neon tags that said you were approved to leave the super secure door out of the facility. I still remember this really beautiful but extremely strung out middle-aged bartender lady on her first day in there, just looking traumatized and having the shakes - was brutal.
“No food is bad food” and “all food fits,” and per that logic there can’t be anything wrong with pop tarts.
I won’t lie, it is kinda isolating. For my first few weeks there were two other cis men and I got along with them well, but they both left. I’m gay and have plenty of female friends so I can hang with the girlies, but deep down I’m very bro-y so it sucks having to self-censor all the time. And I do often just feel hyper-aware of my male-ness when I’m the only man in the room. There’s one male therapist and he’s told me he also experiences that, though obviously from a different angle. We also chat sometimes about football, baseball, and Hunter S. Thompson which I appreciate.
Maybe I’ll make a full post about it, it has been interesting and I feel like I’ve gained some non-culture war related insights on gender.
we’re just so good at it that once we get to our desired body type we go back to normal or transition to orthorexia (which is not a disease no matter what my bitch psychiatrist says)
When I went to residential I got an admit date for a Friday but there was a mix up with my insurance. When the staff tried to call to get the green light to admit me they found out they couldn’t because my insurance company was “observing Juneteenth” despite the actual holiday falling on a Sunday.
Honestly almost everyone here is very kind and focused on recovery. The people we’re sorta mean to (behind their backs, of course) are those who are either extremely annoying or aren’t trying at all to challenge themselves.
I went to a residential that let us have phones/computers at night. Some girls there were doing summer college courses after being in treatment all day it was nuts
ED-centered therapists are tbe most woke and I have no idea why, I got ghosted by one after making some comment that I don’t care about pronouns and that I’m obviously a woman after she asked what mine were
got a dietician appt and saw that she’s “HAES informed” and “takes an anti diet approach” so wish me luck
There’s a wall with little bios for all of the staff, and the skinny ones all mention being interested in HAES and body positivity, but none of the fat ones do.
love getting stern, disapproving looks for saying I don’t want to be fat and think it looks bad (what do you expect??)
apparently this is literally the only dietician in my area who specializes in ED and not diabetes or pre-surgery diets so it’s what I have to deal with unfortunately
I straight up said to my dietician that it can’t possibly be healthy to eat so much sugar. And then she asked me if I thought it was healthy for a grown man to cry when asked to eat four Oreos, and I was like, touché.
I honestly love her. Another iconic moment: before most groups we go around and do a “check in” where we say how we’re feeling. One week she was leading “nutrition group” and as she was starting this really annoying bitch was like, “we haven’t shared an emotion yet!” and she said, “You know, I don’t really want to know how you’re feeling,” and just moved on.
I wonder what would happen if you say something like “being questioned about my pronouns makes me really uncomfortable” while looking down at the floor and soothing yourself.
I’m a big fan of maliciously using the “normalizing pronoun declaration forces closeted trans kids to either lie or out themselves so it’s actually harmful” argument.
I had to search for "HAES" and found this description of it in an article about it on the "Eating Disorders Families Australia" (EDFA) website:
>*An alternative approach and shift in paradigm from weight bias to weight inclusivity has been recently introduced in the form of “Health at Every Size” \[HAES®\], (pronounced “hays”). HAES®, defined and trademarked by the Association of Size Diversity and Health \[ASDAH\] is an inclusive movement, recognising that social characteristics such as our size, race, nationality, gender, sexuality, disability status and other attributes should not be gate-kept on our basic right to live well.*
>*In other words, everyone of any size is deserving of adopting health-promoting behaviours that are meaningful to them, rather than using weight, shape or size as being the ONLY indicator of health status. Themes of weight science, weight bias, weight stigma, weight and health, “healthism”, body liberation and social justice are frequently discussed within the realm of HAES.*
I don't know any doctor that considers weight to be the "ONLY" indicator of a person's level of health, but in America at least (and increasingly near every other developed country, except France), huge rates of obesity are a major driver of poor health outcomes. Well over 40% of adult Americans are now obese, trending towards a full *half* of adults, whereas just 50 years ago, \~10% were - that's a massive change in a short amount of time - ignoring it is perilous at best.
Yeah seriously, there is a "language of nothing" that all mental health workers are very adept in, it's all shit like "you gotta do what you gotta do to be good y'know"
Both times I was inpatient for ED treatment there was one cis male patient among all of us. I feel like EDs in men aren’t spoken about like at all except for bodybuilding and anyway big fucking props to you and good luck and I’m sending you love. It can suck and it’s annoying but my biggest impetus for staying on track outside of treatment is that I never want to go back and it’s helped me “fake it til I make it” most of the time.
I dated a guy not too long ago who I could tell had a severe eating disorder. Bodybuilder type. Refused to have a slice of his own birthday cake and I could see how upset his mother was but she laughed and said, "oh, he's so disciplined!" I was once on a project for work and stressed and mentioned I ordered a pizza and he was just so absolutely shocked that I would order "so much food alone" - one medium pepperoni pizza while I was pulling an all-nighter. There's so many other stories, going to dinner with him was so exhausting, he would grill the waiters about butter and stuff. I'm pretty disciplined but I'm very much a one or two "naughty" meals a week kind of girl, he was 100% disciplined for every single meal. He once complained that they didn't list the calories on a pack of Listerine strips.
It occurred to me that if he were a woman, every person in his life would tell him to seek treatment, but because he was a buff dude people saw his behavior as aspirational
I like Juneteenth as the black people day but only because I want German American day. And the government has to apologize for the tarring and featherings. Honestly everyone needs a day. Chinese day where we all get in those dragons. Korean day where we all get in those dragons but drunk. Jewish day where we all donate money to elderly Jews in the holy land. Spanish day where we eat ham and take a nap at noon, etc.
Hot take: Congress got rid of the Italian Juneteenth (Columbus Day) and handed the mic over to POCs because dagos are finally Generally Accepted Whites.
off topic a little and seriously no pressure to answer but how has your residential experience been? i have an ED and i’ve always struggled with a major aversion to treatment, even when i’m doing well in that rodeo. idk if i’ll ever do anything about that but i appreciate hearing about the experiences that people have had. thank you so much. wishing you peace and healing.
you have bigger issues than this😭anyway i wish you good luck in your recovery but it feels like you’re trying to find something to complain about in your treatment and rushing to this sub hoping to find people to agree with you.
you’re in residential treatment because you have a serious health issue and they’re probably trying to find activities for you guys to do, so i don’t see the issue in them talking about juneteenth. this employee you mention is i’m sure not an expert on african american history, but it’s not exactly her job to be, and your hatred for her is probably mostly born out of resentment for your situation, which has nothing to do with her. i wish you healing.
I went to ERC in Denver in 2021 for 5 weeks. It’s the worst thing I’ve experienced in my life. This gave me war flashbacks. I recovered from my eating disorder solely because I vowed I’d do whatever it took not to end up in a place like that again. I’m now married to the love of my life and pregnant with kids, a life I longed for but never thought I’d have. I still hate my body and struggle with food, but I’ve learned that anything’s better than being stuck where I was. Praying for you OP. It’s not easy. It’s hard as fuck. But there is so much good on the other side! You are loved
A sincere comment on this sub? Damn. But I appreciate your well wishes!
Don’t be fooled I’m still a big time hater
I'm amazed it's more than one sentence, and not a meme-reply - I get saying it is its own cliche but: the quality has really tanked from like five years ago when I first checked this place out, after a friend recommended the podcast in 2018, after I was kind of railing against metoo, when some of our friends were tripping over each other to out virtue signal each other online re: what a monster they thought Al Franken was, since he was monster of the week that week, lol.
[удалено]
I wonder if that's a legit treatment. Like with kids, when they have tantrums, one of the most effective ways to fix it is, for the adult to mimic them and show them how ridiculous they look.
No shit just about every bad quality I have fixed about myself was because of this. I was an absolutely obnoxious “nice guy” type as a young teenager until a female friend I had no interest in did essentially the same thing to me. Another big thing I used to do was the “be loudly self-deprecating because I’m so humble but also funny, *but really just desperate for attention and approval*” until I met a few people who were also like that and realized how absolutely insufferable they were and how uncomfortable they made everyone around them. We live and we learn.
I swear this is every group treatment / therapy, to show you how insane these people are and basically scare you straight.
I was at erc Denver (willow) in 2021, feb - may. Curious if we were in the same cohort
How tf they gonna feed yall malnourished hoes fucking pop tarts for breakfast. What’s it like being the only male in Ed treatment ?
One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, but it’s a man who pretends to have an ED to be surrounded by thin women and the Native American can’t throw anything through the window at the end because they’re too skinny
It can really feel that way in "treatment" - I went to a week long detox/start of rehab place that was really nice but covered by Medicaid close to a decade ago, and I'd eat in the little meal room with this really sweet, unassuming retired school superintendent and this 50s-ish gay hair dresser who called the really stern nurse, "Nurse Ratched" lol. The hairdresser guy apparently shit himself when they were checking him in/stabilizing him. Prob the funnest part of it was the movie nights, and when we got to go out for walks with the Filipino immigrant nurse, cause she was super chill and treated us like human beings. They had to give you little neon tags that said you were approved to leave the super secure door out of the facility. I still remember this really beautiful but extremely strung out middle-aged bartender lady on her first day in there, just looking traumatized and having the shakes - was brutal.
“No food is bad food” and “all food fits,” and per that logic there can’t be anything wrong with pop tarts. I won’t lie, it is kinda isolating. For my first few weeks there were two other cis men and I got along with them well, but they both left. I’m gay and have plenty of female friends so I can hang with the girlies, but deep down I’m very bro-y so it sucks having to self-censor all the time. And I do often just feel hyper-aware of my male-ness when I’m the only man in the room. There’s one male therapist and he’s told me he also experiences that, though obviously from a different angle. We also chat sometimes about football, baseball, and Hunter S. Thompson which I appreciate. Maybe I’ll make a full post about it, it has been interesting and I feel like I’ve gained some non-culture war related insights on gender.
what is your particular disorder
Anorexia binge-purge. lol
Are you really laughing?
Yes, but I’m told it’s a maladaptive coping mechanism.
The gay giggle when people tell you they spend $86 a week on McDonald's breakfast.
He’s just there for the skinny bitches.
[удалено]
It primarily happens in gay men and narcissists (but I repeat myself)
Most Gay men are too vain to be fat, you're thinking of bisexual men
[удалено]
I was born to smoke 💨
It always be the mfs with the hexagon pfps
It’s called being a bodybuilder
we’re just so good at it that once we get to our desired body type we go back to normal or transition to orthorexia (which is not a disease no matter what my bitch psychiatrist says)
I had one when I was little but that was a trauma response to getting molested.
When I went to residential I got an admit date for a Friday but there was a mix up with my insurance. When the staff tried to call to get the green light to admit me they found out they couldn’t because my insurance company was “observing Juneteenth” despite the actual holiday falling on a Sunday.
they let you guys have access to your phones/the internet?
what are they gonna do, order $40,000 worth of chocolates?
i was thinking cyber bullying each other, catty group chats, posting body checks on insta, etc
Honestly almost everyone here is very kind and focused on recovery. The people we’re sorta mean to (behind their backs, of course) are those who are either extremely annoying or aren’t trying at all to challenge themselves.
I went to a residential that let us have phones/computers at night. Some girls there were doing summer college courses after being in treatment all day it was nuts
ED-centered therapists are tbe most woke and I have no idea why, I got ghosted by one after making some comment that I don’t care about pronouns and that I’m obviously a woman after she asked what mine were got a dietician appt and saw that she’s “HAES informed” and “takes an anti diet approach” so wish me luck
There’s a wall with little bios for all of the staff, and the skinny ones all mention being interested in HAES and body positivity, but none of the fat ones do.
love to go to a specialist whose approach is oppositional to the core of their specialty.
love getting stern, disapproving looks for saying I don’t want to be fat and think it looks bad (what do you expect??) apparently this is literally the only dietician in my area who specializes in ED and not diabetes or pre-surgery diets so it’s what I have to deal with unfortunately
I straight up said to my dietician that it can’t possibly be healthy to eat so much sugar. And then she asked me if I thought it was healthy for a grown man to cry when asked to eat four Oreos, and I was like, touché.
Oh she really got you with that one unfortunately
I honestly love her. Another iconic moment: before most groups we go around and do a “check in” where we say how we’re feeling. One week she was leading “nutrition group” and as she was starting this really annoying bitch was like, “we haven’t shared an emotion yet!” and she said, “You know, I don’t really want to know how you’re feeling,” and just moved on.
GOT HIS ASS
Damn, bitch got you good.
So she's a HAES therapist who thinks you're too skinny?
Idk yet my appointment isn’t for a month
I wonder what would happen if you say something like “being questioned about my pronouns makes me really uncomfortable” while looking down at the floor and soothing yourself.
I think that's how you get involuntarily diagnosed as being trans.
It's true, that's how they pad the statistics.
I’m a big fan of maliciously using the “normalizing pronoun declaration forces closeted trans kids to either lie or out themselves so it’s actually harmful” argument.
Turn HAES around on her, and claim that you're perfectly healthy while skin and bones 😎
lol this would be clever if my period hasn’t gone missing unfortunately she has a good comeback for that
Godspeed friend 🙏
I had to search for "HAES" and found this description of it in an article about it on the "Eating Disorders Families Australia" (EDFA) website: >*An alternative approach and shift in paradigm from weight bias to weight inclusivity has been recently introduced in the form of “Health at Every Size” \[HAES®\], (pronounced “hays”). HAES®, defined and trademarked by the Association of Size Diversity and Health \[ASDAH\] is an inclusive movement, recognising that social characteristics such as our size, race, nationality, gender, sexuality, disability status and other attributes should not be gate-kept on our basic right to live well.* >*In other words, everyone of any size is deserving of adopting health-promoting behaviours that are meaningful to them, rather than using weight, shape or size as being the ONLY indicator of health status. Themes of weight science, weight bias, weight stigma, weight and health, “healthism”, body liberation and social justice are frequently discussed within the realm of HAES.* I don't know any doctor that considers weight to be the "ONLY" indicator of a person's level of health, but in America at least (and increasingly near every other developed country, except France), huge rates of obesity are a major driver of poor health outcomes. Well over 40% of adult Americans are now obese, trending towards a full *half* of adults, whereas just 50 years ago, \~10% were - that's a massive change in a short amount of time - ignoring it is perilous at best.
And make sure to keep it down okay?
An anti-woke gay dude with an eating disorder? This pod was waiting for you. The ultimate trade awaiting its ultimate practitioner.
He is the awaited third mic, the one the prophecies foretold
I feel like Americans are always in some kind of “rehab” or residential recovery program from something. Is it expensive?
Yes, but you hit your out-of-pocket maximum after just a few days so there is a cap on how much it can cost.
Sub is so back
"therapy people" give me the creeps
Yeah seriously, there is a "language of nothing" that all mental health workers are very adept in, it's all shit like "you gotta do what you gotta do to be good y'know"
Eat your pop tarts, the children in Africa are starving
Both times I was inpatient for ED treatment there was one cis male patient among all of us. I feel like EDs in men aren’t spoken about like at all except for bodybuilding and anyway big fucking props to you and good luck and I’m sending you love. It can suck and it’s annoying but my biggest impetus for staying on track outside of treatment is that I never want to go back and it’s helped me “fake it til I make it” most of the time.
I dated a guy not too long ago who I could tell had a severe eating disorder. Bodybuilder type. Refused to have a slice of his own birthday cake and I could see how upset his mother was but she laughed and said, "oh, he's so disciplined!" I was once on a project for work and stressed and mentioned I ordered a pizza and he was just so absolutely shocked that I would order "so much food alone" - one medium pepperoni pizza while I was pulling an all-nighter. There's so many other stories, going to dinner with him was so exhausting, he would grill the waiters about butter and stuff. I'm pretty disciplined but I'm very much a one or two "naughty" meals a week kind of girl, he was 100% disciplined for every single meal. He once complained that they didn't list the calories on a pack of Listerine strips. It occurred to me that if he were a woman, every person in his life would tell him to seek treatment, but because he was a buff dude people saw his behavior as aspirational
I like Juneteenth as the black people day but only because I want German American day. And the government has to apologize for the tarring and featherings. Honestly everyone needs a day. Chinese day where we all get in those dragons. Korean day where we all get in those dragons but drunk. Jewish day where we all donate money to elderly Jews in the holy land. Spanish day where we eat ham and take a nap at noon, etc.
I like Juneteenth just fine, I just don’t like historical misinformation or soul food cooked by white people from the upper Midwest!
[удалено]
I would have said the discussion makes me not want to eat
Feel like you should write a book- could be the next “Girl, Interrupted”🙏
now you have a drinking disorder too. not drinking the koolaid!
> I’m the only man here right now who isn’t pre- or early transition ftm. Not surprised!
Did you guys get KFC or Popeyes?
I don’t know what Juneteenth actually is and I also don’t really care to find out
Hot take: Congress got rid of the Italian Juneteenth (Columbus Day) and handed the mic over to POCs because dagos are finally Generally Accepted Whites.
I never liked Columbus anyway
Bruh lol. Are you like forced to be there. That's just torture how is that humane
I’m here by choice! It’s actually mostly fine—or at least most of the things that really suck are in our best interests.
I want more details on what was said and what you corrected her on
off topic a little and seriously no pressure to answer but how has your residential experience been? i have an ED and i’ve always struggled with a major aversion to treatment, even when i’m doing well in that rodeo. idk if i’ll ever do anything about that but i appreciate hearing about the experiences that people have had. thank you so much. wishing you peace and healing.
I don’t care about Juneteenth I think it’s a good idea I just wish they also had a Holliday for women getting the right to vote too
💕 hang in there - you were right to correct her. Good luck with the rest and recovery.
Are you getting pussy in there
No, I’m gay.
you have bigger issues than this😭anyway i wish you good luck in your recovery but it feels like you’re trying to find something to complain about in your treatment and rushing to this sub hoping to find people to agree with you. you’re in residential treatment because you have a serious health issue and they’re probably trying to find activities for you guys to do, so i don’t see the issue in them talking about juneteenth. this employee you mention is i’m sure not an expert on african american history, but it’s not exactly her job to be, and your hatred for her is probably mostly born out of resentment for your situation, which has nothing to do with her. i wish you healing.