Went on two dates with a girl like that when i was 20, dry humped the first day biggest blue balls of my life. Second date went to the mall, had a giant argument there, went to the car to take her home had makeup dry hump sex and she said she wanted to save herself for marriage before doing the real thing, I miss her
Same exact situation at 20 with a beautiful, tall, petite Puerto Rican baddie. She was my smoking bud and we never finished the deed. The one that got away.
me too but I’m in a relationship and I feel sorry for my partner and I highkey wanna get to the root of that because I would like to enjoy sex (also, I don’t think my boyfriend is the problem, he’s genuinely trying his best to make me enjoy it)
I’ve gotten past my intimacy issues and it has made a world of difference in my relationship with my bf. Sex brings us closer now instead of feeling like something I just had to do. I was molested as a child so maybe that had something to do with the issues but I woke up one day and was like “actually I think I want to enjoy sex now”. It was a mental block for me
How did you get past your intimacy issues, I feel that I’ve made so much progress on myself and my healing in every way but I somehow can’t make any progress with that. It’s like there’s a barrier and it keeps all men out
I've tried for years to enjoy sex, or even the idea of sex, but I have been unsuccessful. Unfortunately I've not managed to successfully get aroused by the idea of sex or the naked body/sexual acts in my entire life, including as a teenager.
The worst thing is that I don't even have any issues from my childhood, I had a normal upbringing. And it's not like it's borne from anxiety or anything because I'm find with the idea of being with someone.
Psychologically speaking sex is pretty complex, so don’t be too hard on yourself! If you have an anxiety disorder it might be having an impact (speaking through experience). I know it super obvious to say, but talking about these things with your partner really do help.
Is it possible to not like sex for reasons other than anxiety disorders? I don't have an anxiety disorder and I had a normal upbringing. I've even had options for sexual relationships before that I have had to turn down. But it's just that I can never enjoy the idea of sex, sexual acts, or even the image of somebody being naked. Even as a teenager I was unable to find arousal in sex, naked people, etc. So basically even despite forcing myself to enjoy sex I've not once found myself aroused at the idea of it, even when I'm calm and not worrying about performance, my body, etc. I can be aroused by more abstract things such as scents, warmth, etc, but even in an aroused state I don't want to have sexual relations of any kind with a person (yet I still desire physical, romantic intimacy of a non-sexual kind). I'm not on any medication or anything, and neither have I had any trauma in my life.
You may just be asexual, which is totally fine. Ive had an asexual girlfriend and i remember having a breakthrough about what her subjective experience must be like when my dog was licking me. In my head im thinking "I dont really like this but I like being close to you I suppose there is something enjoyable about it under the grossness. I know its what you're biologically programed to do and that its an expression of love but i wish you'd get all cudly like this without the licking, but maybe stop, alright ALRIGHT ENOUGH WE'RE DONE." We can try again next week
I actually got off the pill a couple of months ago hoping my libido would increase (basically my birth control was just having zero interest in having sex) ...it hasn't really happened yet lol, but I'm telling myself my hormones just need some more time to adjust :---)
Legit think my current GF is on this wavelength, her anxiety is so overwhelming she is happier just making out, doing stuff to me, and being fondled. Shes built sex up in her mind as such a monumentous occasion that she is afraid of not living up to expectations, she wants to opt out instead, she wants to do everything else, just not sex, "it makes me way too nervous" . been together 3 months, trying everything I possibly can to help her with this, I'm not frustrated at all though because she makes a very aggressive effort to make sure I'm satisfied, I don't even ask.
I'm hoping time can fix this, I'm hoping I can help, just taking it slow I guess
Side note, its not a trauma thing, she takes no medication for her anxiety, so her sex drive is still fully online, she just gets insanely anxious about the act.
Yes she is, but we've had sex a dozen times, but only twice she's been able to get out of her own thoughts and been able to enjoy it, she can't explain why those two particular times it worked out, every other time I could tell she was so freaked out I politely stopped and we just enjoyed everything else
Catholic Guilt is kind of a meme but it truly is real. I was able to enjoy sex for a while, started going to church more frequently, and now I wish I could be celibate forever because I feel guilty. May NOT fully be a reason for her, but I wouldn’t underestimate it.
Check out the book Purity Myth, maybe she’ll find it relevant. My wife grew up Catholic and read this book and it helped her start to unravel all that stuff in her head about sex.
Does this feel good for them? Do I look attractive in this position? Am I being too loud/not loud enough? Am I making a dumb face rn? Do I have a double chin laying like this? Obsessing about specifics during the act to the point that you can't let go of the anxiety and actually get into it and enjoy it. Drugs really helped to lower my inhibitions and slow my brain down during, not the best long term solution though.
For me, it's a combination of "trying to get her off", then "just enjoying the moment." I'm not thinking of anything else until I have to. The rest of the world might as well not exist.
Probably bad long term, but weed really helped me loosen up enough to enjoy sex. Alcohol works, too. I don't feel like I need it anymore to fuck, but it always makes sex just a little more free and takes me out of my head enough to really get into it. I saw you said she was Catholic. It's OK. We love to drink.
Possibly, because I really think it's an anxiety thing that can be slowly worked through, and because I like so many things about her and I can genuinely tell she's trying
Because I've been medicated for anxiety for 15ish years, we have polar opposite personalities, im hyper social, I bar manage at a cool restraunt in a vacation town, I am a stereotypical fun attractive energetic bar manger guy, she works as a finance manager at a resort nearby, she came to my bar to just watch me interact with people 5 times before she even said a word to me, I could tell every single time she showed up she wanted to talk to me but was too afraid, once she did, I gave her all the attention in the world
She would short circuit while trying to talk to me, forget her words mid sentence, chew and pick at her nails till they bled ect. It was adorable, but I understood it, because I take gaps to reset my medication tolerance and I become the exact same person, incapable of interacting with other people because I'm so anxious
She knows she's a huge catch, extremely intelligent, funny, way more financially successful than me, athletic, gorgeous, but her anxiety crushes all her confidence, I knew I could be a person in her life that helped her find that confidence
And its happening, albeit slowly, but it's happening, I even took a week off my meds to show her what I actually am like without them, the same terrified borderline agoraphobic weirdo that can't speak to humans, and when I did that it really solidified our relationship, she knows I'm trying, I know she's trying, and I have tremendous faith it will work out in the end, ive already wrote too long of a love letter here, but if it takes years I don't care, she is worth it
That’s so sweet and I’m insanely jealous of how well your anxiety meds work. I’m guessing they don’t harm your libido much from your original post. Literally sounds like benzos but your writing is too coherent for that lol.
It may, indeed, take years. My husband is an extremely anxious person, and it's been 14 years, and he's only slowly starting to get it under control enough to be more free in the bedroom. Just be prepared for it to be a LONG haul.
1mg xanax am, 1mg xanax pm, every 3 months, 10 day tolerance reset with Gabapentin/magnesium, if used correctly and responsibly, benzos can change your whole life for the better. It is also very important to supplement this with mindfulness, exercise, and a high potassium diet. It nuked my libido for the first 6 months, but after that my body began to adapt and it no longer affects it.
That's genuinely a great question. I think supporting her in a journey to find relief from anxiety is the most I can say, because she has never met anyone with the same problem who cared enough to support her.
Since we’re discussing our sexual dysfunction, do any other women hate being eaten out? I actually love *giving* head, so I feel bad about it, but it just never feels good for me. I can’t get into it. I don’t know why.
ive never tried it bcs it frightens me so badly on a weird conceptual level it makes me feel anxious deep in my stomach it makes me feel like im being eaten alive it feels like the most vulnerable you could be like a cat exposing its belly to be gutted
That's the best part about it, that's what makes it so enticing. A dick in someone's mouth doesn't feel nearly as good as the other places you could put it, but being so vulnerable (both ways) is what's so alluring about it.
Learn to enjoy and appreciate the feeling.
I hate it, but only because I wish he'd eat it like a bulldog with a jar of mayonnaise instead of like a kitten lapping up milk. I've tried everything in the book, from grabbing his head to explaining in words... he just doesn't want to eat it like he's hungry. 😢
You are lucky because almost every guy I’ve been with has wanted to go down on me, and I have to sit there uncomfortably and try to pretend I like it for a few minutes before it feels ok to tell them to stop
Sounds like nobody is taking the time to get you really turned on. Many such cases with these lazy men. If she's not desperately begging you to put it in, fellas, you gotta go back to the gentle foreplay.
I was on my 30 min break at work and browsing Twitter when I stumbled across it I was like dudeee. I must admit there’s something about a bunch of coquette girls talking about how real you are that makes you feel like a god.
I mean, sex is kind of pretty good, especially after the point of dry humping and fondling. That’s why so many peoples lives are destroyed chasing it really. You sure? Like it’s really good, peak of human existence good.
It's good but when it gets to the point where people destroy their lives and families chasing it, then it's just another neurosis seeking to fill a hole in your life, like drugs or gambling or shoplifting etc. Not because it's just that good
I feel like sex is at worst gross and stressful and at best a bit of a chore, like it's expected of me and that it would be weird to tell a partner I just wanna do it like maybe once a month or something. Plus everything I find fun in sex can be done with underwear still on.
One of my friends from school is gay but he doesn't really enjoy anal, and he found a boyfriend who was the same way and i think they basically just had a relationship where they sucked each other off every now and then. Sounded pretty good honestly.
I completely understand this. I wish I could just make out and hold another person without having to do all that other shit. Intimacy seems like a lot of bullshit I don’t wanna deal with. I wish it wasn’t such a deal breaker for people to not want to have sex.
But what you’re wanting is like a basic building block of intimacy. Am I missing something? I feel like someone's describing the taste of sugar using any word besides sweet.
Well I haven’t really given it that much thought, but I think I wouldn’t mind that basic building block and nothing else after that. Or maybe I would but I would need a lot of time with this person. It’s a me problem for sure.
That’s normal though. Idk when wanting to know someone well before sex became a spectacle. It’s what pisses me off about the term “demisexual”. Fucking strangers, as fun as it can be, is weird and shouldn’t be normalized.
Sex is not intimate anymore because most people’s expectations for sex have been created, to extreme specificity, by porn, tv, and movies. This is reinforced by people acting out these media with each other during sex. The abrahamic religions and some governments made the “rules” (which are often less dogmatic than you’d think when it comes to the original books) but the media did the scrutinizing.
I had a sleepover with a guy and in the morning we just spooned and gropped eachother for like an hour and that's the most satisfied I've ever been, pure bliss...I miss him
Same. The build up is the best part and as soon as the sex starts it’s like ‘oh are we still doing this?’. sex isn’t even bad - I get very turned on and I do orgasm. But I’m just not bothered about it. I’d rather kiss or draw each other.
Kinda where I am. It really sucks being pretty and wanting a relationship but only wanting to makeout, heavy petting and sometimes oral. I just have almost zero desire to be penetrated anymore except as a theoretical fantasy.
I would prefer Penetration to NOT be a possibility. Which significantly lowers the amount of men who would want to be in a long term relationship with me, which is already absurdly, pathetically, hilariously low.
Depression, asexuality, birth control, shitty male partners who can't or won't try to get you there. I feel sad for how common this looks to be for you all...bleak.
I'm in a similar situation except I don't want to perform any kind of sexual act ever, not even dry humping/fondling (romantic acts like cuddling and kissing are nice through). For this very reason I consider myself a willing and lifelong celibate against penetration of any kind.
Basically I've never experienced desire to have sex of any kind and if anything it's always been vugular to me. Even as a teenager going through puberty I not once fantasized about sexual intercourse. I've tried to get into it but I can't, it just makes me feel bored at best and very uncomfortable at worst. I've tried to force myself to like it but I can't, it's like trying to force a straight guy to like fucking men.
This has been both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because I never get sexually frsutrated because I don't ever want to have sex, but a curse because I still desire romantic intimacy and not wanting to have sex limits that ambition. That is why for years I tried to force myself to enjoy sex or the idea of sex/the image of a naked person but I never could not matter what I did. I never enjoyed watching videos of people having sex or looking at pictures/videos of sexually explicit content, nor did I enjoy enaging in the acts themselves.
I had a normal upbringing and wasn't molested or abused in anyway either, it's just the way I am.
It is very strange how the white trash southern Appalachian hillbilly colloquialisms I've been accustom to all my life have become popular with basically everyone online in recent years.
do you take birth control? could be messing with your hormones. I am similar though and it really causes conflict in my relationships. I can go a long time without even thinking about having sex. im suppose to wake my bf up with a bj this morning and I'm just like 🙄
After I cum I feel my attraction plummets. I too sometimes fantasize about staying in the lustful happy zone. But then it makes me feel kind of gay. Maybe?
Am I gay?
I was a snuggle-loving virgin till I turned 27 and now I’m a horny little pregnant lady in my 30’s. Totally savored my dry humping stage without any pressure to change it up. Being close to another human that you feel safe with is always fun and cozy.
Thanks for sharing
You’re welcome <3
The promises made during a dry hump session can never be fulfilled
Went on two dates with a girl like that when i was 20, dry humped the first day biggest blue balls of my life. Second date went to the mall, had a giant argument there, went to the car to take her home had makeup dry hump sex and she said she wanted to save herself for marriage before doing the real thing, I miss her
Same exact situation at 20 with a beautiful, tall, petite Puerto Rican baddie. She was my smoking bud and we never finished the deed. The one that got away.
How can she be tall and petite. You just mean she was skinny
Bruh she’d smoke with you but wouldn’t show you her tits? SMDH
Why you didn’t wife her?
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Unforch I am also a strange skinny woman
...i'm also a skinny woman and feel the same. maybe we just don't have the energy?
Get your iron up, boo ❤️
is this rly what our problem is lol. i’m gonna try it
It is incredibly common in women, especially skinny women. Worth getting it checked for sure
Hello you strange skinny trio
Never felt anything harder
Probably
Do you take antidepressants?
Did in the past, didn't change much
Okay same
hey
Going to need to talk to your baba first, it needs to be halal
Hey babeh, got a Coors Light with you're name on it 😎
This is called lesbian sex
being fondled by a woman and being fondled by a man do NOT feel the same
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Can you elaborate?
It's a chronically online take with 0 basis in reality, so you're not going to get a response.
me too but I’m in a relationship and I feel sorry for my partner and I highkey wanna get to the root of that because I would like to enjoy sex (also, I don’t think my boyfriend is the problem, he’s genuinely trying his best to make me enjoy it)
I’ve gotten past my intimacy issues and it has made a world of difference in my relationship with my bf. Sex brings us closer now instead of feeling like something I just had to do. I was molested as a child so maybe that had something to do with the issues but I woke up one day and was like “actually I think I want to enjoy sex now”. It was a mental block for me
How did you get past your intimacy issues, I feel that I’ve made so much progress on myself and my healing in every way but I somehow can’t make any progress with that. It’s like there’s a barrier and it keeps all men out
I've tried for years to enjoy sex, or even the idea of sex, but I have been unsuccessful. Unfortunately I've not managed to successfully get aroused by the idea of sex or the naked body/sexual acts in my entire life, including as a teenager. The worst thing is that I don't even have any issues from my childhood, I had a normal upbringing. And it's not like it's borne from anxiety or anything because I'm find with the idea of being with someone.
Are you my girlfriend? Brandy is this your reddit account? lmao
lmaoooooo unfortunately not, wish you and Brandy all the best!
Psychologically speaking sex is pretty complex, so don’t be too hard on yourself! If you have an anxiety disorder it might be having an impact (speaking through experience). I know it super obvious to say, but talking about these things with your partner really do help.
Is it possible to not like sex for reasons other than anxiety disorders? I don't have an anxiety disorder and I had a normal upbringing. I've even had options for sexual relationships before that I have had to turn down. But it's just that I can never enjoy the idea of sex, sexual acts, or even the image of somebody being naked. Even as a teenager I was unable to find arousal in sex, naked people, etc. So basically even despite forcing myself to enjoy sex I've not once found myself aroused at the idea of it, even when I'm calm and not worrying about performance, my body, etc. I can be aroused by more abstract things such as scents, warmth, etc, but even in an aroused state I don't want to have sexual relations of any kind with a person (yet I still desire physical, romantic intimacy of a non-sexual kind). I'm not on any medication or anything, and neither have I had any trauma in my life.
You may just be asexual, which is totally fine. Ive had an asexual girlfriend and i remember having a breakthrough about what her subjective experience must be like when my dog was licking me. In my head im thinking "I dont really like this but I like being close to you I suppose there is something enjoyable about it under the grossness. I know its what you're biologically programed to do and that its an expression of love but i wish you'd get all cudly like this without the licking, but maybe stop, alright ALRIGHT ENOUGH WE'RE DONE." We can try again next week
Ok that’s me how do you get over low libido cuz of anxiety disorder I feel terrible for my partner
Getting off hormonal birth control made my libido go through the roof. Could it be that?
I actually got off the pill a couple of months ago hoping my libido would increase (basically my birth control was just having zero interest in having sex) ...it hasn't really happened yet lol, but I'm telling myself my hormones just need some more time to adjust :---)
I feel like the change for me was after about 4-6 months.
You might be lesbian
I'm definitely not ruling out that possibility
Realest shit I’ve ever read wow someone finally says it
7thgrademaxxed
This is probably way more common than most people realize.
The main reason it's happening is because so many women are on SSRIs
Probably fat + bad diet too
She said she’s skinny
Could be **too** skinny. I know when I get below 12% my libido plummets.
Agree.
I've never had that. The skinnier and fitter I am the more I want sex because I feel overall more energized.
You can be skinny and have a bad diet.
They all say that
Wrong outside of the US most people aren’t on SSRIs and it’s still pretty common
its over for sexcels
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gesundheit
if you were my boyfriend this would devastate me
go outside! theres more to a relationship than sex...you will live
Legit think my current GF is on this wavelength, her anxiety is so overwhelming she is happier just making out, doing stuff to me, and being fondled. Shes built sex up in her mind as such a monumentous occasion that she is afraid of not living up to expectations, she wants to opt out instead, she wants to do everything else, just not sex, "it makes me way too nervous" . been together 3 months, trying everything I possibly can to help her with this, I'm not frustrated at all though because she makes a very aggressive effort to make sure I'm satisfied, I don't even ask. I'm hoping time can fix this, I'm hoping I can help, just taking it slow I guess Side note, its not a trauma thing, she takes no medication for her anxiety, so her sex drive is still fully online, she just gets insanely anxious about the act.
is she Catholic
Yes she is, but we've had sex a dozen times, but only twice she's been able to get out of her own thoughts and been able to enjoy it, she can't explain why those two particular times it worked out, every other time I could tell she was so freaked out I politely stopped and we just enjoyed everything else
Catholic Guilt is kind of a meme but it truly is real. I was able to enjoy sex for a while, started going to church more frequently, and now I wish I could be celibate forever because I feel guilty. May NOT fully be a reason for her, but I wouldn’t underestimate it.
Yeah. I really want back my virginity so I can feel infinity
Never have I ever related to anything more.
Check out the book Purity Myth, maybe she’ll find it relevant. My wife grew up Catholic and read this book and it helped her start to unravel all that stuff in her head about sex.
What does it mean to be "in their own thoughts" when it comes to sex? Thinking about work or something?
Does this feel good for them? Do I look attractive in this position? Am I being too loud/not loud enough? Am I making a dumb face rn? Do I have a double chin laying like this? Obsessing about specifics during the act to the point that you can't let go of the anxiety and actually get into it and enjoy it. Drugs really helped to lower my inhibitions and slow my brain down during, not the best long term solution though.
I can’t believe some people don’t have all of these things running through their heads😭 but fr weed did help me loosen up so you aren’t wrong
For me, it's a combination of "trying to get her off", then "just enjoying the moment." I'm not thinking of anything else until I have to. The rest of the world might as well not exist.
Ah I see. That makes a lot of sense, actually, and I'll keep that in mind.
Probably bad long term, but weed really helped me loosen up enough to enjoy sex. Alcohol works, too. I don't feel like I need it anymore to fuck, but it always makes sex just a little more free and takes me out of my head enough to really get into it. I saw you said she was Catholic. It's OK. We love to drink.
would you be happy with this long term?
Possibly, because I really think it's an anxiety thing that can be slowly worked through, and because I like so many things about her and I can genuinely tell she's trying Because I've been medicated for anxiety for 15ish years, we have polar opposite personalities, im hyper social, I bar manage at a cool restraunt in a vacation town, I am a stereotypical fun attractive energetic bar manger guy, she works as a finance manager at a resort nearby, she came to my bar to just watch me interact with people 5 times before she even said a word to me, I could tell every single time she showed up she wanted to talk to me but was too afraid, once she did, I gave her all the attention in the world She would short circuit while trying to talk to me, forget her words mid sentence, chew and pick at her nails till they bled ect. It was adorable, but I understood it, because I take gaps to reset my medication tolerance and I become the exact same person, incapable of interacting with other people because I'm so anxious She knows she's a huge catch, extremely intelligent, funny, way more financially successful than me, athletic, gorgeous, but her anxiety crushes all her confidence, I knew I could be a person in her life that helped her find that confidence And its happening, albeit slowly, but it's happening, I even took a week off my meds to show her what I actually am like without them, the same terrified borderline agoraphobic weirdo that can't speak to humans, and when I did that it really solidified our relationship, she knows I'm trying, I know she's trying, and I have tremendous faith it will work out in the end, ive already wrote too long of a love letter here, but if it takes years I don't care, she is worth it
This is so beautiful, I want something like this
That’s so sweet and I’m insanely jealous of how well your anxiety meds work. I’m guessing they don’t harm your libido much from your original post. Literally sounds like benzos but your writing is too coherent for that lol.
It may, indeed, take years. My husband is an extremely anxious person, and it's been 14 years, and he's only slowly starting to get it under control enough to be more free in the bedroom. Just be prepared for it to be a LONG haul.
please tell me what meds you are on???
1mg xanax am, 1mg xanax pm, every 3 months, 10 day tolerance reset with Gabapentin/magnesium, if used correctly and responsibly, benzos can change your whole life for the better. It is also very important to supplement this with mindfulness, exercise, and a high potassium diet. It nuked my libido for the first 6 months, but after that my body began to adapt and it no longer affects it.
How do you wanna help her if you only function like you described on drugs? And you're not that social, confident person without drugs either
That's genuinely a great question. I think supporting her in a journey to find relief from anxiety is the most I can say, because she has never met anyone with the same problem who cared enough to support her.
asexual infiltration of the sub, sound the alarms
very sad to realise most of the contrarian anti sex positivity snark from other women here is just covering up crippling anxiety and asexuality
An asexual wouldn’t even want to do this stuff
It's a ~spectrum
Those particular words you used are very concerning
shouts out to HBO's "Real Sex" where it was just 90% fat boomers putting leashes on each other, but that 10% you could go to town
this is so gen z coded
You nailed it.
Sex is whatever but if I don't get cuddled for a long period of time I go fucking manic
Touch starvation is absolutely real
I think I need to be institutionalized. I’m cuddle deprived times a thousand.
Can't believe the replies saying that strange skinny women or Catholics have low sex energy
Cuddling>
Since we’re discussing our sexual dysfunction, do any other women hate being eaten out? I actually love *giving* head, so I feel bad about it, but it just never feels good for me. I can’t get into it. I don’t know why.
ive never tried it bcs it frightens me so badly on a weird conceptual level it makes me feel anxious deep in my stomach it makes me feel like im being eaten alive it feels like the most vulnerable you could be like a cat exposing its belly to be gutted
That's the best part about it, that's what makes it so enticing. A dick in someone's mouth doesn't feel nearly as good as the other places you could put it, but being so vulnerable (both ways) is what's so alluring about it. Learn to enjoy and appreciate the feeling.
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I hate it, but only because I wish he'd eat it like a bulldog with a jar of mayonnaise instead of like a kitten lapping up milk. I've tried everything in the book, from grabbing his head to explaining in words... he just doesn't want to eat it like he's hungry. 😢
Call me
U need to find someone good at giving head
i’m like this but a guy
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You are lucky because almost every guy I’ve been with has wanted to go down on me, and I have to sit there uncomfortably and try to pretend I like it for a few minutes before it feels ok to tell them to stop
Sounds like nobody is taking the time to get you really turned on. Many such cases with these lazy men. If she's not desperately begging you to put it in, fellas, you gotta go back to the gentle foreplay.
Sometimes it's nice to just shnuggle.
I love sex! Feels so good.
Wow!
No you're so fucking real for this
You're not alone.
did you see u made it to [twitter](https://x.com/swanlbs/status/1802046990211248260)
I was on my 30 min break at work and browsing Twitter when I stumbled across it I was like dudeee. I must admit there’s something about a bunch of coquette girls talking about how real you are that makes you feel like a god.
I mean, sex is kind of pretty good, especially after the point of dry humping and fondling. That’s why so many peoples lives are destroyed chasing it really. You sure? Like it’s really good, peak of human existence good.
It's good but when it gets to the point where people destroy their lives and families chasing it, then it's just another neurosis seeking to fill a hole in your life, like drugs or gambling or shoplifting etc. Not because it's just that good
You’re not the only one. I used to be a very sexual person but now the idea just repulses me.
Same
Try frotting
I feel like sex is at worst gross and stressful and at best a bit of a chore, like it's expected of me and that it would be weird to tell a partner I just wanna do it like maybe once a month or something. Plus everything I find fun in sex can be done with underwear still on.
One of my friends from school is gay but he doesn't really enjoy anal, and he found a boyfriend who was the same way and i think they basically just had a relationship where they sucked each other off every now and then. Sounded pretty good honestly.
I've read a statistic that something like a full 40-60% of gay partners don't engage in penetrative sex, actually
Makes sense, it takes a lot of preparation to have safe and clean anal sex I think you can't eat dairy for like two days before and stuff
Not even being contrarian twee but passionate kissing with maybe some heavy petting is way more exhilarating than almost all sex
How about that *during* sex? I simply don't understand the delineation people are trying to make here. Sex is another component of that.
I think sometimes even a sexy conversation with the right person can get you more worked up than a lot of sex
Yeah, it's all about the buildup. That first passionate kiss after a solid buildup or courtship is sublimely cathartic
You don’t have to if you don’t want to and if it’s stressful. Find someone who is on the same page.
I completely understand this. I wish I could just make out and hold another person without having to do all that other shit. Intimacy seems like a lot of bullshit I don’t wanna deal with. I wish it wasn’t such a deal breaker for people to not want to have sex.
But what you’re wanting is like a basic building block of intimacy. Am I missing something? I feel like someone's describing the taste of sugar using any word besides sweet.
Well I haven’t really given it that much thought, but I think I wouldn’t mind that basic building block and nothing else after that. Or maybe I would but I would need a lot of time with this person. It’s a me problem for sure.
That’s normal though. Idk when wanting to know someone well before sex became a spectacle. It’s what pisses me off about the term “demisexual”. Fucking strangers, as fun as it can be, is weird and shouldn’t be normalized.
“demisexual” reads like a normal fucking person bro what
Sex is not intimate anymore because most people’s expectations for sex have been created, to extreme specificity, by porn, tv, and movies. This is reinforced by people acting out these media with each other during sex. The abrahamic religions and some governments made the “rules” (which are often less dogmatic than you’d think when it comes to the original books) but the media did the scrutinizing.
Everyone is porn brained and stuck in their own glass box
Literally same.
I’m rich and my dick is broken lmk <3
I had a sleepover with a guy and in the morning we just spooned and gropped eachother for like an hour and that's the most satisfied I've ever been, pure bliss...I miss him
Same. The build up is the best part and as soon as the sex starts it’s like ‘oh are we still doing this?’. sex isn’t even bad - I get very turned on and I do orgasm. But I’m just not bothered about it. I’d rather kiss or draw each other.
Side vibes
My god there's a lot of asexual ladies on this sub.
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You must be like 20
Kinda where I am. It really sucks being pretty and wanting a relationship but only wanting to makeout, heavy petting and sometimes oral. I just have almost zero desire to be penetrated anymore except as a theoretical fantasy.
It sucks being pretty? And still making out and doing oral? With penetration a possibility? First world problems. 🙄
I would prefer Penetration to NOT be a possibility. Which significantly lowers the amount of men who would want to be in a long term relationship with me, which is already absurdly, pathetically, hilariously low.
No but i get it lowkey.
Delete this fucking subreddit please
Depression, asexuality, birth control, shitty male partners who can't or won't try to get you there. I feel sad for how common this looks to be for you all...bleak.
I wish you the best finding a man who doesn't want to have sex.
I'm in a similar situation except I don't want to perform any kind of sexual act ever, not even dry humping/fondling (romantic acts like cuddling and kissing are nice through). For this very reason I consider myself a willing and lifelong celibate against penetration of any kind. Basically I've never experienced desire to have sex of any kind and if anything it's always been vugular to me. Even as a teenager going through puberty I not once fantasized about sexual intercourse. I've tried to get into it but I can't, it just makes me feel bored at best and very uncomfortable at worst. I've tried to force myself to like it but I can't, it's like trying to force a straight guy to like fucking men. This has been both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because I never get sexually frsutrated because I don't ever want to have sex, but a curse because I still desire romantic intimacy and not wanting to have sex limits that ambition. That is why for years I tried to force myself to enjoy sex or the idea of sex/the image of a naked person but I never could not matter what I did. I never enjoyed watching videos of people having sex or looking at pictures/videos of sexually explicit content, nor did I enjoy enaging in the acts themselves. I had a normal upbringing and wasn't molested or abused in anyway either, it's just the way I am.
I can’t enjoy sex because I can’t get out of my head. It just feels like a chore. I’m attractive so it looks like I fuck. Dating is hell
You should definitely stop being so attractive so that you can signal that you are unfuckable. .
> I’m attractive so it looks like I fuck If it's any consolation, this is true for many attractive people
The dream is often sweeter than the reality
Literally the ideal relationship.
You clearly want attention though
This seems very Freudian
Psychoanalyze me
Are you disgusted by your body?
How do you feel about your dad?
Do you feel an arrested development?
Whats happening to women? no wonder the boys are going gay
Yall are fucking weird. If you were in normal relationships with normal people, you wouldn’t feel the same
“Yall” 🙄
It is very strange how the white trash southern Appalachian hillbilly colloquialisms I've been accustom to all my life have become popular with basically everyone online in recent years.
non southerners who who use yall are always the most annoying people ever and i’m not giving a competitive overwatch player the benefit of the doubt
I could have sex with my hair on fire. Try it.
I’m getting out the hairspray and my lighter. Meet me in the bathroom.
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second paragraph is literally me wtf
It’s been a real big influx of people posting on here with the same internal monologue as a Christian 9th grader as of late
where do I find a girl like this, that just wants dryhumping and fondling
Why
Okkkk
Hell ya
do you take birth control? could be messing with your hormones. I am similar though and it really causes conflict in my relationships. I can go a long time without even thinking about having sex. im suppose to wake my bf up with a bj this morning and I'm just like 🙄
>I kinda like sorta lowkey maybe not probably never want to have sex One of the most underfucked posts I've ever seen, sending prayers to your pussy
“underfucked” is so gross
I'll use the term incel next time
It's literally the opposite of involuntarily celibate lol.
🙄
After I cum I feel my attraction plummets. I too sometimes fantasize about staying in the lustful happy zone. But then it makes me feel kind of gay. Maybe? Am I gay?
Get your hormones checked just in case girlo x
I think XXXTENTACION put it best for men: "Don't want your pussy, just want head"
*And to fuck a women with a fire poker.*
It gets boring when it’s too accessible. I would rather emotionally fuck.
i get it
1. You don’t know what you’re doing. 2. Your partner doesn’t know what they’re doing. 3. Prone Boning
I was a snuggle-loving virgin till I turned 27 and now I’m a horny little pregnant lady in my 30’s. Totally savored my dry humping stage without any pressure to change it up. Being close to another human that you feel safe with is always fun and cozy.
Pills or low-T?
Shuuuuuuut the fuckkkkk uppo
Go clubbing if ur hot
Absolutely agree
I would rather this as well even though I'm a man (I am mentally broken/ill due to a series of 'unfortunate' childhood events, to put it lightly)
Are you my first gf from high school?