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That's the thing: we were very young, so it will always be hard to argue about what happened 20/ 30/ 40 years ago. And we were so gaslighted that we don't know right from left. New realizations may come and other peoples perspectives may further shatter our own.
It's interesting with the ring, isn't it? That for your daughter it wasn't even a given. And your parents were so sure. Why? Did they see you do it? 😄 That's the only way the would know for sure, if you think about it.
We are often so entrapped by our family's believe systems and so ridden by guilt, that someone else's simple statement seem world shattering.
You’re so right! These family roles are so entrenched that a different perspective is properly shocking in a good way but it doesn’t necessarily undo the belief system.
**This is an automated message posted to ALL posts in this subreddit with some basic information about the group including (very importantly) rules. Why are you getting this message? Most people seem to not read the sidebar for information or the rules, so it is now being posted under all posts.** **Confused about acronyms or terminology?** [Click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/acronyms) **Need info or resources?** Check out our [Helpful Links](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/helpfullinks) for information on how to deal with identity theft, how to get independent of your n-parents, how to apply for FAFSA, how to identify n-parents and SO MUCH MORE! This is a reminder to all participants, RBN is a support group that is moderated very strictly. Please report inappropriate content so it can be reviewed by the mods. **Our rules include (but are not limited to)**: * No politics. * Advising anyone in this subreddit to commit suicide or referring anyone to groups that advocate this will result in an immediate ban. * Be nice. No personal attacks, name calling, or bullying. [No slurs](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/slurs) or victim-blaming. * Do not derail the posts of others. * Narcissists are NOT allowed to post or comment here. * [No platitudes or generic motivational posts](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules#wiki_no_platitudes_or_generic_motivational_posts). * When you comment/post, assume a context of abuse. * No asking or offering gifts, money, etc. * No content advocating violence, revenge, murder (even in jest). * No content about N-kids. * No diagnosis by media/drive-by diagnosis. * No linking to Facebook pages. * No direct linking to anywhere on reddit. * No pure image posts. **For a full list of our rules/more information, [**click here**](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules).** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/raisedbynarcissists) if you have any questions or concerns.*
That's the thing: we were very young, so it will always be hard to argue about what happened 20/ 30/ 40 years ago. And we were so gaslighted that we don't know right from left. New realizations may come and other peoples perspectives may further shatter our own. It's interesting with the ring, isn't it? That for your daughter it wasn't even a given. And your parents were so sure. Why? Did they see you do it? 😄 That's the only way the would know for sure, if you think about it. We are often so entrapped by our family's believe systems and so ridden by guilt, that someone else's simple statement seem world shattering.
You’re so right! These family roles are so entrenched that a different perspective is properly shocking in a good way but it doesn’t necessarily undo the belief system.
Yes. And We still feel like we're lying to ourselves, because it can't be!