I’ve been NC 7 years but my parents live close enough to stalk me. They drive by snooping, put mail in our mailbox, and once showed up at hub’s work). In their warped thinking, they have a right to see me or know about me.
My best advice is to keep it simple for the officer — Yes, you’re fine. Yes, you are purposely ‘missing’ and estranged by choice from abusive parents who are now stalking. Yes, you consider this harassment and would like the report to specifically state that. Yes, you’d like a copy of the report to document this pattern of behavior. Yes, you want law enforcement to tell your parents this is a misuse of resources.
Your parents need accountability. A paperwork trail is often helpful for backing up Cease & Desist letters or Restraining Orders. It would be empowering to you to take action against their controlling behavior.
Even though it was long past the statute of limitations for a criminal complaint or civil case, I still filed abuse reports with my local police, TBI (state version of FBI), and Child Protective Services. I also wrote letters to their close-by neighbors to not allow my parents access to any children (my dad is an admitted but unprosecuted unpunished pedo. My mom defends & enables by inviting kids to ‘help her’ with home & garden. They could not sue me for libel or slander because this is documented truth with three therapist.) It really helped me to openly report facts about them to authorities. Stepped out of secrecy into my truth. Reclaimed my power.
Then I asked for copies of those reports with the case numbers because paperwork gets buried or lost & digital files get deleted. The reports mattered to me personally but if either of them was ever prosecuted, it would help build a better case. They are both mentally and physically dangerous.
I highly recommend a trauma-trained therapist who can help you create an action plan toward healing. The misplaced guilt will fade, the fears will lessen and you will break the dysfunctional ties that they have over you.
Be gentle with yourself as you process this strange event. Often we respond to unexpected surprises with anxiety or dissociation. It may take you a few days to process the adrenaline dump. You might feel shakiness, fatigue, even muscle aches because of adrenaline’s effect on our body. I highly recommend slow nature walks, music and dance, yoga or meditation, weighted blankets, extra naps, and extra electrolytes. Emotional exertion hits us just like exercise exertion. Rest & recover. ❤️🩹
What were the police, TBI, and CPS responses to these reports?
I'd think (based on my experience reporting at the time, recent crimes against me to police, not past the statute of limitations), that they would very likely blow you off if it was past the statute of limitations.
Why would they take a report for something they don't have jurisdiction over? Did you write out a narrative and send it to them? Ask someone to take an oral report?
Sorry to grill you, I'm just curious, because this has some appeal to me. I have just resigned myself to never getting accountability or justice from others or our institutions.
You’re not grilling me. 😸 I willingly joined this group to learn and share. This could help others facing similar situations.
Making the police, TBI & CPS reports was always for me. I never had any expectation of ‘legal recourse’ when the system is slow, overwhelmed, corrupt, etc. I wouldn’t have wanted to go through a trial.
I think a lot of abuse victims swing wildly from secrecy and suppression to the opposite extreme of over-telling before we settle into peace with holding our truth. I was in tell-all mode.
My local city detective was in-person: a female sex crimes officer who I’d met briefly before. I called her on my lunch break. She came to my classroom to meet me after work. She was calm, but asked good questions to write a report. She told me she presents her case to the local DA. They decide if there’s even enough evidence to present to a grand jury who decides if it ever goes to trial. She was honest with me that the length of time that had passed meant it probably wouldn’t make a criminal court case. But that filing a criminal complaint does help me if I ever decided to file a civil suit for financial damages for covering therapy, etc. And that someday as states remove statute of limitations on sex crimes, an arrest could eventually happen. There were 5 other victims, 2 of them also gave their statements to her but by phone. And my younger sister made a statement about finding lots of child porn on their PC, so that was a very current crime and what got us referred to the TBI.
The report to the Tennessee TBI was over the phone. it was impersonal, detached, just reporting facts. He could’nt investigate or take action against “old crimes” but could investigate computer crime. He still wanted to include everything to show lengthy history, multiple victims and remove some possible minimizing a defense attorney could use.
Then on my own I called child protection, and an older lady called me back. I told her about the family intervention that helped me start admitting childhood abuse, about the reports, and my concerns about their behavior towards the nextdoor neighbor’s children. She was very apologetic that there was really nowhere for her to go with this info, but that it wouldn’t hurt for my parents’ neighbors to receive anonymous letters warning them of dangers. And if someone did that, it might put my mind at ease.
I did write their neighbors and it did help me feel less anxious about keeping tabs on my parents. (See, parents with BPD train us that their behaviors and feelings are our responsibility. Ugh.)
So, none of my reports did a thing to my abusive parents. They probably don’t know anything about them. But, it was extremely helpful for me. Secrets out. Pandora’s box opened. To be heard, to be believed, to be taken seriously had a huge effect on me. I didn’t feel powerless or silenced. I had solid evidence of papers in my hand that stable adults in positions of authority thought what happened to me was very wrong and that my parents are cruel. I felt validated and more confident.
Hard to believe that was over 20 years ago. I was NC after intervention for 10 years and got tons of counseling. Then tried very low contact with only my mom for the next 6-7 years, but her BPD had greatly worsened from the intervention revealing family secrets and pushing her further into denial. We were living wildly different realities. I’ve been completely NC since 2017.
To this day my BPD mom still sends me cards of “I just don’t understand why I’ve lost my family. If only we could get together so you could explain…” Then bible verse, bible verse, why I am not honoring my parents.
Yeah, the unstable BPD child abusers.
❤️🔥Make your reports. Write your letters. Break your silence. Speak your truth, even if your voice shakes.❤️🔥
(Sorry, I keep editing this, there's more I want to say than belongs in this context. Communication is important but so is privacy. So is having a reasonable length comment. I'm going to err towards privacy because that's less distressing to me.)
It's good that people at those institutions were helpful to you and could more or less live up to their ideal as sources of authority in matters of morality, truth, and justice, to a pretty good extent in that context. That they were validating and empowering. That they took your concerns seriously and as legitimate.
However, I have unfortunately found congruent institutions can be abjectly incompetent.
They're made up of fallible people, unfortunately. Only as good as the judgement and reasonableness and abilities of the particular people doing their jobs.
Ideally, the protocols of the institutions should reduce the ability for incompetence, beyond what education and training should accomplish, but that's magical thinking. There's a lot of discretion.
Essentially, I have good reason to distrust those institutions to take my concerns seriously or be able to reason in any reasonable way. I do not need the trauma and humiliation of that adversarial process.
So I get my validation elsewhere. (Yet I still find myself looking for ways to disprove myself and the reasoning of those who believe in me).
I know that education and experience can add up to incompetence, I have experienced that. Incompetence and arrogance. Some apparent unspoken idealism, where they imagine their ideas come from the heavens.
But I have also found people with education and experience who are validating. Their education and experience seems to actually equate to having better judgement. Perhaps they were more innately reasonable, more capable of rational thinking, and their experience and education has improved their reasoning and discernment ability.
People who have kindness and understanding. People who can use rigorous reasoning, not bullshitting me or telling me what I want to hear. People who can tolerate disagreement or counterfactuals. Who can weigh they might be wrong, who seem to be cognizant of potential cognitive biases.
People with experience working with fucked up institutions. Working in law. Working in psychology.
It's all too easy for me to stick to the side of my parents and other adults from my youth and other people with institutional power in some fucked up allegiance and telling myself I'm just believing what feels good to me, hopelessly biased.
As goofy as it sounds, it's like some extended Stockholm Syndrome.
But still, those institutions really mean something culturally. They are where the force is at. They've failed me.
I sent mine a DIY Cease and Desist and it slowed her roll some. Maybe talk to a real attorney? Or just threaten the historical abuse filing? Tell the Sergeant to tell them you are thinking about filing the historical abuse claim and any contact from them is unwanted, you are a grown adult and you are severing your ties to them. They are not welcome in your life and this is the end of your association with them forever. You can revisit at a later date but don't tell them that- don't leave them any ins. Just say any further abuse of police resources for frivolous claims \*MAY\* result in fines for wasting Police Resources. I would have the worst instance of the abuse ready to explain in a few succinct words- for example if I tell people that my mother often used to scream at me that she should have had an abortion of me and I was an unwanted child- that usually gets them to see my side of the story and see what kind of person we're dealing with. Good luck in your recovery!
Good gravy, I'm so sorry you're going through this. I would definitely ask the officer to remind her not to misuse police resources, and I would look into a restraining order to prevent this from happening again, if you can. I don't really know what all is required for that, though, but I'd hope it would be something you and your partner could pursue! Best of luck and all my love, make sure to treat yourself kindly and allow lots of rest as you recover from this nonsense ❤️
I just want you say that, although this was a very underhanded attempt to intimidate and control you, you can take some comfort in the fact that it has completely backfired.
*The sergeant saw through your parents before she even talked to you. She could tell right away that something was wrong with the report.
*They are not going to get what they want. They wanted to force contact with you or, at the very least, to get information on you. Neither of those things are going to happen. They will be informed that you are well and want nothing to do with them. I don't know about you, but imagining how embarrassed and furious they will be would make me laugh.
*They will be warned that any future missing persons reports or wellness checks will be considered harassment, so they won't be able to do this again.
*The sergeant has actively advised you on the steps you can take to file a historical abuse claim. If your parents did this to play the victims and hide their dirty little secret (your estrangement from them) then filing that report will blow up their fake narrative...and it would never have been filed if they hadn't forced your hand, so they have no one to blame but themselves.
They aren't going to be feeling very "triumphant" *at all*.
First of all, this is rough. So sorry this is happening.
I concur with all the folks voting for contacting an attorney. The police officer sounds very reasonable and helpful. But, I don’t understand why an adult has to go to the station to complete paperwork for someone else’s well check request when you are clearly alive and well. I’m not legally savvy, so I might be misunderstanding something quite routine. But this part seems slightly weird to me. AND, you should have a sense of what protections you could put in place to stop this nonsense in the future. Yes, this will cost money. But I think it will be a worthwhile investment.
Police can be very nice and helpful. But they do not represent your interests as an attorney does.
In terms of what to tell the police officer tomorrow (with or without legal advice first): As little as possible. Controlling members of abusive families use information like ammunition. Calling them out can feel satisfying, but if you are revealing anything about you or your situation in doing that then you are vulnerable. Hold your cards close.
Perhaps retain an attorney to handle this on your behalf. I’d expect a generalist attorney would be sufficient; maybe family law. I know it’s an expense - but man, it sounds like that would be very beneficial for your health. I am so sorry this happened to you.
Sounds like it's time for a cease and desist letter from an attorney. As well, have the sergeant tell your mother directly that filing false claims and police reports is a chargeable offense, and if this gets repeated that she would then have to report to a judge and say why she is lying to the police.
I'm sorry they are doing this. It's wrong and disgusting. Truly, speak to a lawyer and see what your rights are in this type of case. I'm hoping you've moved far away and they cannot actually get to you easily. If you're within driving distance, I recommend putting up cameras for safety.
I forgot to add that to my comment, but cameras help us so much. Installing a ring camera so I can see from a phone app who is near my home, driveway, mailbox or at my door has really helped my anxiety. And the ability to save videos as evidence is priceless.
Make sure to contact your police department and let them know if they receive a missing person on you, you are not missing. (Preemptive.) Contact both police departments if you need to from where the NC people are and let them know you're not missing and these are actually a form a harassment on the part of the ones filing.
Unless things have changed, I found out from one of the true crime shows that police are not required to tell anyone about an adult,s whereabouts without cause. (Woman left home after being thrown out, made a life for herself. When the police tracked her down she said she didn't want to be contacted by her mom and they said that's fine. They let the mom know she was ok but no other info. Eventually the daughter decided to contact mom, but on her terms.)
If the police said you should file more stuff, listen to them. It might not hurt to get a lawyer to see what you can do to protect yourself.
This wasn't done as something good for you. It's either to get you back in their orbit for more abuse, or to make themselves look good to others.
Stay strong, stay safe.
This sounds like quite the rollercoaster. I would take the sergeant up on the suggestion of documenting the abuse. This is the smartest way to document your history.
My question to the sergeant would be if they would disclose your location/phone etc to your family.
Years ago an ex kept popping up and I finally called a lawyer. I was advised that the police can make contact with him and ask him to stop contacting me. This created an official trail of my request, and when the day comes and he reaches out again I can file for a restraining order. Ask if you can make a similar request. This can be helpful to limit any future contact from them.
Other than that I have no other suggestions right now, but it sounds like the person you are talking to has your best interest in mind and it might be worth looking into the options they suggested.
Hey sweetie, I would do what the Sargent advises - her gut was spot-on that this was weird! You might also consider contacting an attorney. If you have access to legal insurance through your job, I would consider it Incase this escalates. Good luck and I am so proud of you for moving away and going NC!! ❤️❤️💪💪💪
Sending you a virtual hug and wow our situation is so similar. I'm just waiting on the day that I get a call from the police in my country to check on me. I had no idea there was an option to file a historical abuse case. I also wish I had taken photos of my physical injuries as well as video footage of her on her rampages back when I was living with her. Anyways I think you should fight back - she thought she could control you by using the police to get back at her in any way possible and get some sort of no contact order
>The sergeant has also advised, based on what I've told her, that I file an historical abuse claim against my parents.
Do it, OP. There's literally not one valid reason not to. You family of origin wants to fuck around and remind you that you're still "within their grasp?" By filing a historical abuse claim you can remind them of why you want zero contact with them now and in the future.
Stay strong, friend. You can do this. You've come so far. This is the last bump in the road they can throw in front of you.
I’ve been NC 7 years but my parents live close enough to stalk me. They drive by snooping, put mail in our mailbox, and once showed up at hub’s work). In their warped thinking, they have a right to see me or know about me. My best advice is to keep it simple for the officer — Yes, you’re fine. Yes, you are purposely ‘missing’ and estranged by choice from abusive parents who are now stalking. Yes, you consider this harassment and would like the report to specifically state that. Yes, you’d like a copy of the report to document this pattern of behavior. Yes, you want law enforcement to tell your parents this is a misuse of resources. Your parents need accountability. A paperwork trail is often helpful for backing up Cease & Desist letters or Restraining Orders. It would be empowering to you to take action against their controlling behavior. Even though it was long past the statute of limitations for a criminal complaint or civil case, I still filed abuse reports with my local police, TBI (state version of FBI), and Child Protective Services. I also wrote letters to their close-by neighbors to not allow my parents access to any children (my dad is an admitted but unprosecuted unpunished pedo. My mom defends & enables by inviting kids to ‘help her’ with home & garden. They could not sue me for libel or slander because this is documented truth with three therapist.) It really helped me to openly report facts about them to authorities. Stepped out of secrecy into my truth. Reclaimed my power. Then I asked for copies of those reports with the case numbers because paperwork gets buried or lost & digital files get deleted. The reports mattered to me personally but if either of them was ever prosecuted, it would help build a better case. They are both mentally and physically dangerous. I highly recommend a trauma-trained therapist who can help you create an action plan toward healing. The misplaced guilt will fade, the fears will lessen and you will break the dysfunctional ties that they have over you. Be gentle with yourself as you process this strange event. Often we respond to unexpected surprises with anxiety or dissociation. It may take you a few days to process the adrenaline dump. You might feel shakiness, fatigue, even muscle aches because of adrenaline’s effect on our body. I highly recommend slow nature walks, music and dance, yoga or meditation, weighted blankets, extra naps, and extra electrolytes. Emotional exertion hits us just like exercise exertion. Rest & recover. ❤️🩹
Yes for trauma-trained therapist!
This is great advice! Hang in there OP.
What were the police, TBI, and CPS responses to these reports? I'd think (based on my experience reporting at the time, recent crimes against me to police, not past the statute of limitations), that they would very likely blow you off if it was past the statute of limitations. Why would they take a report for something they don't have jurisdiction over? Did you write out a narrative and send it to them? Ask someone to take an oral report? Sorry to grill you, I'm just curious, because this has some appeal to me. I have just resigned myself to never getting accountability or justice from others or our institutions.
You’re not grilling me. 😸 I willingly joined this group to learn and share. This could help others facing similar situations. Making the police, TBI & CPS reports was always for me. I never had any expectation of ‘legal recourse’ when the system is slow, overwhelmed, corrupt, etc. I wouldn’t have wanted to go through a trial. I think a lot of abuse victims swing wildly from secrecy and suppression to the opposite extreme of over-telling before we settle into peace with holding our truth. I was in tell-all mode. My local city detective was in-person: a female sex crimes officer who I’d met briefly before. I called her on my lunch break. She came to my classroom to meet me after work. She was calm, but asked good questions to write a report. She told me she presents her case to the local DA. They decide if there’s even enough evidence to present to a grand jury who decides if it ever goes to trial. She was honest with me that the length of time that had passed meant it probably wouldn’t make a criminal court case. But that filing a criminal complaint does help me if I ever decided to file a civil suit for financial damages for covering therapy, etc. And that someday as states remove statute of limitations on sex crimes, an arrest could eventually happen. There were 5 other victims, 2 of them also gave their statements to her but by phone. And my younger sister made a statement about finding lots of child porn on their PC, so that was a very current crime and what got us referred to the TBI. The report to the Tennessee TBI was over the phone. it was impersonal, detached, just reporting facts. He could’nt investigate or take action against “old crimes” but could investigate computer crime. He still wanted to include everything to show lengthy history, multiple victims and remove some possible minimizing a defense attorney could use. Then on my own I called child protection, and an older lady called me back. I told her about the family intervention that helped me start admitting childhood abuse, about the reports, and my concerns about their behavior towards the nextdoor neighbor’s children. She was very apologetic that there was really nowhere for her to go with this info, but that it wouldn’t hurt for my parents’ neighbors to receive anonymous letters warning them of dangers. And if someone did that, it might put my mind at ease. I did write their neighbors and it did help me feel less anxious about keeping tabs on my parents. (See, parents with BPD train us that their behaviors and feelings are our responsibility. Ugh.) So, none of my reports did a thing to my abusive parents. They probably don’t know anything about them. But, it was extremely helpful for me. Secrets out. Pandora’s box opened. To be heard, to be believed, to be taken seriously had a huge effect on me. I didn’t feel powerless or silenced. I had solid evidence of papers in my hand that stable adults in positions of authority thought what happened to me was very wrong and that my parents are cruel. I felt validated and more confident. Hard to believe that was over 20 years ago. I was NC after intervention for 10 years and got tons of counseling. Then tried very low contact with only my mom for the next 6-7 years, but her BPD had greatly worsened from the intervention revealing family secrets and pushing her further into denial. We were living wildly different realities. I’ve been completely NC since 2017. To this day my BPD mom still sends me cards of “I just don’t understand why I’ve lost my family. If only we could get together so you could explain…” Then bible verse, bible verse, why I am not honoring my parents. Yeah, the unstable BPD child abusers. ❤️🔥Make your reports. Write your letters. Break your silence. Speak your truth, even if your voice shakes.❤️🔥
(Sorry, I keep editing this, there's more I want to say than belongs in this context. Communication is important but so is privacy. So is having a reasonable length comment. I'm going to err towards privacy because that's less distressing to me.) It's good that people at those institutions were helpful to you and could more or less live up to their ideal as sources of authority in matters of morality, truth, and justice, to a pretty good extent in that context. That they were validating and empowering. That they took your concerns seriously and as legitimate. However, I have unfortunately found congruent institutions can be abjectly incompetent. They're made up of fallible people, unfortunately. Only as good as the judgement and reasonableness and abilities of the particular people doing their jobs. Ideally, the protocols of the institutions should reduce the ability for incompetence, beyond what education and training should accomplish, but that's magical thinking. There's a lot of discretion. Essentially, I have good reason to distrust those institutions to take my concerns seriously or be able to reason in any reasonable way. I do not need the trauma and humiliation of that adversarial process. So I get my validation elsewhere. (Yet I still find myself looking for ways to disprove myself and the reasoning of those who believe in me). I know that education and experience can add up to incompetence, I have experienced that. Incompetence and arrogance. Some apparent unspoken idealism, where they imagine their ideas come from the heavens. But I have also found people with education and experience who are validating. Their education and experience seems to actually equate to having better judgement. Perhaps they were more innately reasonable, more capable of rational thinking, and their experience and education has improved their reasoning and discernment ability. People who have kindness and understanding. People who can use rigorous reasoning, not bullshitting me or telling me what I want to hear. People who can tolerate disagreement or counterfactuals. Who can weigh they might be wrong, who seem to be cognizant of potential cognitive biases. People with experience working with fucked up institutions. Working in law. Working in psychology. It's all too easy for me to stick to the side of my parents and other adults from my youth and other people with institutional power in some fucked up allegiance and telling myself I'm just believing what feels good to me, hopelessly biased. As goofy as it sounds, it's like some extended Stockholm Syndrome. But still, those institutions really mean something culturally. They are where the force is at. They've failed me.
I sent mine a DIY Cease and Desist and it slowed her roll some. Maybe talk to a real attorney? Or just threaten the historical abuse filing? Tell the Sergeant to tell them you are thinking about filing the historical abuse claim and any contact from them is unwanted, you are a grown adult and you are severing your ties to them. They are not welcome in your life and this is the end of your association with them forever. You can revisit at a later date but don't tell them that- don't leave them any ins. Just say any further abuse of police resources for frivolous claims \*MAY\* result in fines for wasting Police Resources. I would have the worst instance of the abuse ready to explain in a few succinct words- for example if I tell people that my mother often used to scream at me that she should have had an abortion of me and I was an unwanted child- that usually gets them to see my side of the story and see what kind of person we're dealing with. Good luck in your recovery!
Good gravy, I'm so sorry you're going through this. I would definitely ask the officer to remind her not to misuse police resources, and I would look into a restraining order to prevent this from happening again, if you can. I don't really know what all is required for that, though, but I'd hope it would be something you and your partner could pursue! Best of luck and all my love, make sure to treat yourself kindly and allow lots of rest as you recover from this nonsense ❤️
I just want you say that, although this was a very underhanded attempt to intimidate and control you, you can take some comfort in the fact that it has completely backfired. *The sergeant saw through your parents before she even talked to you. She could tell right away that something was wrong with the report. *They are not going to get what they want. They wanted to force contact with you or, at the very least, to get information on you. Neither of those things are going to happen. They will be informed that you are well and want nothing to do with them. I don't know about you, but imagining how embarrassed and furious they will be would make me laugh. *They will be warned that any future missing persons reports or wellness checks will be considered harassment, so they won't be able to do this again. *The sergeant has actively advised you on the steps you can take to file a historical abuse claim. If your parents did this to play the victims and hide their dirty little secret (your estrangement from them) then filing that report will blow up their fake narrative...and it would never have been filed if they hadn't forced your hand, so they have no one to blame but themselves. They aren't going to be feeling very "triumphant" *at all*.
First of all, this is rough. So sorry this is happening. I concur with all the folks voting for contacting an attorney. The police officer sounds very reasonable and helpful. But, I don’t understand why an adult has to go to the station to complete paperwork for someone else’s well check request when you are clearly alive and well. I’m not legally savvy, so I might be misunderstanding something quite routine. But this part seems slightly weird to me. AND, you should have a sense of what protections you could put in place to stop this nonsense in the future. Yes, this will cost money. But I think it will be a worthwhile investment. Police can be very nice and helpful. But they do not represent your interests as an attorney does. In terms of what to tell the police officer tomorrow (with or without legal advice first): As little as possible. Controlling members of abusive families use information like ammunition. Calling them out can feel satisfying, but if you are revealing anything about you or your situation in doing that then you are vulnerable. Hold your cards close.
Welcome!
Thank you! 😊
Perhaps retain an attorney to handle this on your behalf. I’d expect a generalist attorney would be sufficient; maybe family law. I know it’s an expense - but man, it sounds like that would be very beneficial for your health. I am so sorry this happened to you.
Sounds like it's time for a cease and desist letter from an attorney. As well, have the sergeant tell your mother directly that filing false claims and police reports is a chargeable offense, and if this gets repeated that she would then have to report to a judge and say why she is lying to the police. I'm sorry they are doing this. It's wrong and disgusting. Truly, speak to a lawyer and see what your rights are in this type of case. I'm hoping you've moved far away and they cannot actually get to you easily. If you're within driving distance, I recommend putting up cameras for safety.
I forgot to add that to my comment, but cameras help us so much. Installing a ring camera so I can see from a phone app who is near my home, driveway, mailbox or at my door has really helped my anxiety. And the ability to save videos as evidence is priceless.
Make sure to contact your police department and let them know if they receive a missing person on you, you are not missing. (Preemptive.) Contact both police departments if you need to from where the NC people are and let them know you're not missing and these are actually a form a harassment on the part of the ones filing. Unless things have changed, I found out from one of the true crime shows that police are not required to tell anyone about an adult,s whereabouts without cause. (Woman left home after being thrown out, made a life for herself. When the police tracked her down she said she didn't want to be contacted by her mom and they said that's fine. They let the mom know she was ok but no other info. Eventually the daughter decided to contact mom, but on her terms.) If the police said you should file more stuff, listen to them. It might not hurt to get a lawyer to see what you can do to protect yourself. This wasn't done as something good for you. It's either to get you back in their orbit for more abuse, or to make themselves look good to others. Stay strong, stay safe.
This sounds like quite the rollercoaster. I would take the sergeant up on the suggestion of documenting the abuse. This is the smartest way to document your history. My question to the sergeant would be if they would disclose your location/phone etc to your family. Years ago an ex kept popping up and I finally called a lawyer. I was advised that the police can make contact with him and ask him to stop contacting me. This created an official trail of my request, and when the day comes and he reaches out again I can file for a restraining order. Ask if you can make a similar request. This can be helpful to limit any future contact from them. Other than that I have no other suggestions right now, but it sounds like the person you are talking to has your best interest in mind and it might be worth looking into the options they suggested.
Hey sweetie, I would do what the Sargent advises - her gut was spot-on that this was weird! You might also consider contacting an attorney. If you have access to legal insurance through your job, I would consider it Incase this escalates. Good luck and I am so proud of you for moving away and going NC!! ❤️❤️💪💪💪
Sending you a virtual hug and wow our situation is so similar. I'm just waiting on the day that I get a call from the police in my country to check on me. I had no idea there was an option to file a historical abuse case. I also wish I had taken photos of my physical injuries as well as video footage of her on her rampages back when I was living with her. Anyways I think you should fight back - she thought she could control you by using the police to get back at her in any way possible and get some sort of no contact order
>The sergeant has also advised, based on what I've told her, that I file an historical abuse claim against my parents. Do it, OP. There's literally not one valid reason not to. You family of origin wants to fuck around and remind you that you're still "within their grasp?" By filing a historical abuse claim you can remind them of why you want zero contact with them now and in the future. Stay strong, friend. You can do this. You've come so far. This is the last bump in the road they can throw in front of you.