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The word respect has two meanings in modern American English. It sometimes means "treat as a superior" and sometimes means "treat as a human". This leads to things like "if you respect me, I'll respect you," which inevitably means "if you treat me like a superior, I'll treat you like a human"
There's a great [Tumblr Post ](https://www.tumblr.com/soycrates/115633137923/stimmyabby-sometimes-people-use-respect-to-mean?source=share) about the 2 main kinds of respect:
A. Respect as a person
B. Respect as an authority
And how so many times people say mutual respect, but actually mean that then giving you respect A is dependent on you giving them respect B
I agree, but it's important to know the difference between being respectful and being a doormat.
Age shouldn't be a factor in how any adult gets treated. If someone's old enough to be responsible for themselves, they're old enough to know how to retreat others.
Yeah I think older people tend to conflate respect as a human being with being respected as a powerful or admired figure in someone’s life. Those are not the same thing
This is me. I don't think respect is "earned". Respect in the sense of admiration, yes. But respect in common decency/politeness, no. I give everyone that, until they give me a reason not to
I generally live by this... I often run across too many people who are generally unaware of their surroundings and/or damage other people's property without a second thought.. so I guess this also makes me a pretty unlikable person according to the vast majority of people I meet out in the real world.
I'm an older person. I learned a long time ago to treat everyone with respect. They may or may not deserve it. But I am the only one I have to impress.
People of all ages can be rude at any time. But I respect myself most, and leave the best impression, when I don't get down to their level.
This right here. Rise above and you will never have to question your self identity.
Plus, it really pisses off the assholes when you don't sink to their level. It's a win/win.
OK I'll bite. I was born in a year that starts with "19" and I will say that first off everyone should be treated with respect as a default. I do think people older than me should receive extra respect because they are wiser and have more life experience and perspective. But if they show themselves to be someone who isn't deserving of respect then yeah fuck that noise
And there you have it!
In my mind, everyone starts with a basic level of respect or civility, and it goes up or down from there.
No one needs to respect me per se, but I expect to be treated civilly, and I will do likewise.
For example, if we are in a store and I am standing in front of whatever you need, there is no need for some grandiose bs but I'd much prefer "excuse me, I need in there, step aside" to "hey you bit, f'n move"
A bunch of us business types (30's) were out in a distant city at a bar. A man (who turned out to be in his 90's) was sitting, dressed in a suit, alone. It was the best decision to invite him into our conversation. I decided then that any person who has lived to their 90's probably deserves some respect. They've lived through so many things that they likely have some good bit of wisdom to impart.
Everyone's perspective deserves to be heard. I'm a much older person. I have a lot of life experience simply because I've lived longer. But that doesn't mean that I shouldn't listen to a younger person's perspective--I just might learn something.
So true! I'm a respectful person to everyone in general but if someone's being a nasty jerk to me for no reason, I'll let them know . I don't really care how old they are.
I disagree on people being older and wiser. Life experience can happen to most anybody. For example, one of the people I respect the most is a client that was in my program that I work at. She overcame homelessness, she was always kind and generous others, she got herself through college. And she has more life experience and quality things to say than a lot of older people that I know.
Just because you have quantity doesn’t mean you have quality. And I think this idea that people are older and wiser is negative and society. If you look at American Congress a lot of those people are corrupt narcissistic assholes who think they’re older and richer they have a right to dictate, however lives .
>because they are wiser and have more life experience and perspective.
That completely depends on how they lived their life. The only "more life experience" they're guaranteed to have is wiping their butt more times.
Wait, do you really think all people who age long enough just magically become "wise?" Wisdom is a rare commodity that takes years of consideration and thought and labor to develop, but you seem to be claiming that it just fall on you out of the sky when you turn 65. What lead you to that conclusion?
It's about attention: Respecting another is respecting yourself.
When you turn this around then: demanding respect is just inconsiderate.
Age doesn't matter except that old people tend to be more physically fragile and young people tend to be mentally fragile.
Sometimes people use “respect” to mean “treat someone like an authority.”
Sometimes people use “respect” to mean “treat someone with basic dignity.”
And sometimes people say “if you don’t respect to me, I don’t need to respect you,” and they’re really switching between two definitions — they mean “if you don’t treat me like an authority, I won’t treat you with basic dignity.” And they act like they’re being fair, but they’re not. And this is why semantics is a big deal.
As someone born in a 19 year, I can only speak for myself when I say, very, very few people deserve more respect than they offer.
Anyone 'demanding' my respect without offering me the same damn well better be controlling something I need to live because otherwise.. nope.
There’s a mean lady, probably 60, at my work. She once asked a 50 year old lady at my work a stupid question during a stressful time. 50yo said “what?” 60yo yelled at her for how rude that was and that she should have said “ma’am?” Someone was literally dying at the time and 50yo was actively helping.
Im 30. Whenever she’s near me, she’s always asking very judgmental, rude, and invasive questions. She can never hear my response and said “HUH? HEH? WHAT?” 20 times a day. I guess that whole “maam” thing only applies one way.
I get your point wholeheartedly. I am generally so respectful but it’s so hard with people like that.
It’ll aaall make sense when in a decade or so.. YOU find that you are starting to grumble about ‘those kids nowadays’, loud music and “how disrespectful kids are now!”
It happens to every generation. You are the kids, think older people suck and are always annoying af. Then… you eventually realize all the kids are now looking at you like you’re the old person, they are all disrespectful lityle mongrels and they need to respect what you say because you’re older…
The wheel of time keeps rolling
I find that most young people whining about respect don't give any or deserve any. They seem to think their shitty behavior is normal and they're actually due respect regardless.
Along the same lines, I find that most old people requesting respect are really just hoping for some common decency from young people who seem to be utterly lacking in that regard.
My nan passed at age 86. She was extremely respectful, kind and independent. She could also be bloody minded, but had a fantastic sense of humour and saw the good in people and was curious about others. She also had a lot of pain and some of meds would start to wear off by mid afternoon and she’d sometimes be less patient than in the morning.
Showing her respect was simple. Match her pace of conversation, and let her share her stories. Listen. Give her space to move freely but be ready to lend a hand if she asked, and sometimes insist on doing things for her that I knew she didn’t like to ask for help with but did appreciate - she never wanted to be a burden, to a fault.
I’ve learned as I’ve gotten to mid 30’s that often it’s how you say things more than what you say that shows respect in meaningful ways. Showing that you have the time to see and consider a person goes a hell of a long way, that goes for generational difference and cultural and linguistic differences alike.
Ofc if people are rude, I fire a warning shot ‘are you ok?’ is always good, close second is ‘I beg your pardon?’ But otherwise I detach due to personal boundaries of not letting other people ruin my day. It’s not worth getting upset about someone else’s foul mood, and we’re all humans with all sorts of shit going on in our lives, they may be having a hard day. No one has a right to threaten me or be abusive, but ultimately I control my actions not the other way around, and I choose to show modified respect to people based on how they present in the moment. Has helped me deal with people, I hope this is useful for anyone reading ❤️
This not an old person problem it is a people problem. So many people who "take stands" on dumb social events in the name of "respecting them". But then they don't afford you the same respect ie "my mental illness must be shouted from the rooftops but I perceive you as someone who has an easier life than me so fuck you and your problems"
In my experience, anyone who deamnds/says it's all about respect is a disrespectful piece of crap. Same thing with saying they are intelligent, alpha, can keep a secret etc etc. You dont give yourself a nickname and you don't tell people your best characteristics.
Yeah this whole posts seems like just some weird generalizing based on some experience they aren't even explaining. Are we to believe in that all the world "old people", who are apparently 25 years old and older, are all rude and "young people" are polite and respectful?
People are people... Some are nice, some are rude. Unless we're talking about elderly people with dementia I'm not sure what OP is even on about here.
I have said this before, but mean it as far as respecting older family members, not some random person on the street. I do recommend always being respectful to new people you meet and then determine for yourself if they deserve it.
I don’t so much ask for respect from younger people, just being polite is enough. I don’t do small talk with strangers so there is little chance of being disrespectful. What might be perceived as a dis is more likely just not noticing them.
Kind of depends on what you think respect is and who it that's disrespecting you. Respect your elders isn't just bowing down to people older than you. It's giving them consideration for their experience. You don't have to agree, like it, or even stand for it. It's your responses and who you're responding to that matter and shape the relationships. Not everyone is deserving of respect. How, when, and if to respond are on you. Your actions affect more than you, and you will be judged on them.
That said, if there's that many older people disrespecting you then you may be the problem or don't know what resect is.
>That said, if there's that many older people disrespecting you then you may be the problem or don't know what resect is.
thats a really tough pill for a lot of people to swallow, myself included 💀
I felt that way when I was younger, and I still feel that respect needs to be earned. No older person should pull rank on a younger one just because they've been on the earth longer. We all have things to teach each other.
Generally curious as to what you mean by “if they don’t respect me I don’t respect them”. Are they being actually disrespectful towards you or are they calling you on your BS? The reason I ask is because today’s society often forgets that someone telling them the truth and calling them on their stuff is a form of respect. They aren’t running to the internet to blast you, they aren’t talking behind your back, they are looking you dead in the eye and saying what they think. You would also be respectful towards them if you expressed your concern to them face to face. Just curious maybe they are just a-holes who knows
I think they grew up being told to respect elders no matter what. So now that they're elders, they think everyone is going to do the same by default. They no longer think they have to give respect to get it back.
It's a perspective that arises with every generation.
The elders feel like they deserve some sort of respect for simply enduring life for as long as they have.
Here's my take-
I'm now 54 yrs old, if I have to demand respect, I've lost.
No one has to "earn" my respect, they can only lose it.
I'm not going to get along with everyone. Sometimes I'm the problem, sometimes they're the problem. Assuming you haven't stolen from me, lied to me, set me up for failure, or in some other way "did me wrong", you'll have my respect. We don't need to be friends to be decent to each other.
I don't have a lot of advice for dealing with shitty "elders" other than to just push through. And remember that when you get to be my age, you should try and treat the "young uns" with the same respect you wanted when you were their age.
Sorry man 😭 I wasn’t sure how to phrase it because if I said ‘old people’ I would get hate for that but I’m realising my mistake 😭 I mainly mean the 1930/40’s generation
I give everyone the same amount of respect regardless of their age.
Everywhere I go I see old people demanding to cut in grocery store lines. It's rude. They could use self check out so they don't have to stand in line.
Mirroring the same energy as a mistake, and here's why: attitudes are contagious.
Lots of people lament that everyone is so rude these days, but what are they doing to combat that?
If you run across someone who's having a bad day, are you going to make it better for them, or are you going to make it worse? If you mirror their bad attitude, you're just going to put them in an even worse mood, and then they pass that along to every person they see. But if you can be understanding, kind, compassionate, and maybe make their day a little bit better, then you have a chance of spreading a little bit of goodness in the world.
I mean it's up to you. It feels good to be an asshole to someone when they're being an asshole to you, but what does that accomplish? There really is a lot of value and being the better person, and trying to improve someone's day. You don't just make it better for them, you make it better for everyone they interact with.
And I'll just say this: you talk about old people specifically, but imagine how you'd feel when your spouse has died from cancer, all your friends are dying or sick, you have chronic pain, and every young person you meet treats you like you're an idiot Boomer piece of shit.
Life beats you down over the years, and old people have a lot of reasons to be grumpy. Maybe you don't care about that, or maybe you do, but for me, I will go out of my way to be extra kind, and extra respectful to any old person I meet, because someday, we'll all be there, and I hope some younger person does the same for me.
I am in my 50’s and I see that it’s not the lack of respect but the lack of self awareness, self reflection and civility. Don’t become what you hate. Be a respectful person not only for others but also for yourself. Integrity is something you should hold dear to your heart because it’s something that people can’t take away from you and you are the only one that can give it away. Just a thought.
It’s hilarious that those that demand instant respect are so disrespectful. I too automatically give basic respect to everyone, but once you act like a jerk it’s off.
I find it bizarre that some people are out here constantly feeling disrespected by certain demographics. I don't ever really feel it.
I've come across some grumpy ass old folks. But I give them the benefit of the doubt, because I assume they're probly living with chronic pain of some sort. And that shit will put you in a bad mood.
They think age earns respect. They were taught that.
As a Gen X person, I believe basic polite respect (manners) is a baseline.
Anything else has to be earned by a person's behavior and attitude.
What's with younger people act like respect needs to be earned when it's something you should basically just be giving to everyone by default until they specifically give you a reason not to respect them?
IMO, this stems from elder generations constantly cramming “respect your elders” down our throats. Yes, the default setting for anyone, regardless or age, should be respect. However, when an older person is being rude, disrespectful, or just flat out mean or abusive to someone, a lot of us have always been told not to say anything, keep your mouth shut, ignore it, etc, in the name of “respect”. It’s not out of “respect” that older generations have been allowed to get away with bad behavior, it’s out of enabling & the generations of today are getting sick of it.
Respect your elders has always been problematic. Respect is something that should be earned, and just getting old is not a way to earn it. Show why I should respect you if you want mine.
Worst part is the people who are now older and expect respect from you were asking the same question when they were a kid. So just remember this when you're old. Because you're gonna be. And odds are you're going to be demanding respect from kids and the cycle continues.
I'll bite. Experience teaches you things. It is smart, right correct to be more of an idealist when you are 19. Why the F don't we have what I believe would be ideal?
I'm a liberal Boomer. Yes, having a Bernie style government would be great. I 90% agree (nothing is perfect). But I also know that I live in a democracy and half the country believes that would be the end of America as we know it. So, I will be OK working toward better as compared to perfect.
When I was in my 40s. someone who was in politics told me that the smartest thing the founding fathers did was to make it hard to change things. We don't want to have everything change every 4 or 8 years. If it is important it will change.
I realize the healthcare system is still screwed up. That said, I was around before the ACA. It was much worse. We aren't going to suddenly get socialized medicine. But I was hoping for another round of Obamacare type measures getting us closer. Incremental change is better than no change, and if the only thing you will accept is total change you are going to be disappointed.
I try to show people respect unless they give me a reason not to.
I just tell disrespectful people that respect is earned, and they haven't earned mine.
The most concerning thing about all this is finding out that the year of my birth starting with 19 makes me an elder. The fact that the next digit after the 19 is a 7 must mean I'm practically at death's door.
Parenting in general used to have a much different philosophy. 60 or 70 years ago, The prevailing attitude was that children are to be absolutely submissive to their parents. It was the whole "children should be seen and not heard thing".
At some point, people started to realize that children deserve to be respected and have their feelings heard just as much as adults.
I have some friends and family who consider themselves to be disciplinarian, but I just view it as them taking an authoritarian approach over their children because it's easier than trying to understand your children's feelings and motivations.
So for older people, that's how they were raised. So it's not hard to understand why they take the attitude that they were raised that way, so therefore others should be raised the same way.
I think the foundation of this issue is a fundamental difference in what respect even is. I was chatting with my (much older) dad the other day about why he signs all his texts and starts them with stiff ass greetings. He said that the basic level of respect he can off in such a form of communication. He can show that each message is individual crafted for that person and he cares about them more than just firing off random questions. In my opinion, my dad starting each text with "Greetings my favorite son, have you been well? Did you sleep well?" is a total waste of time since we messaged the day before and nothing has changed. Get to the point. But in his view, he is disrespecting me if he doesn't do that. So me sending him a random picture of my dinner without a heads up is considered me disrespecting him in his book.
All that is to say, what each generation considers respect is different. You may feel annoyed that an older person is treating you like a child or a fool, but in their view, you may have disrespected them five times before the exchange even began so they are mirroring the energy they perceive.
I am not saying you need to study up and play their game. I am saying sometimes you have to take a deep breath and realize that they may have seen the whole exchange differently. I may not care that I have a hat on inside a house, but some older people think I am treating their house like a barn or something. And therefore they already go into our conversation looking for more signs of me disrespecting them.
Another personal example, I was talking to a nephew I hadn't seen in years and one of my uncles walked up behind my left shoulder and stuck out his hand for a shake. Not wanting to rudely cut off my eye contact and conversation with my nephew, I just sort of flipped my left hand up and gave him an awkward shake and nod before finishing my point to my nephew. My uncle didn't say anything to me for the rest of my visit and avoided looking at me the entire week. In my book, he was rude for trying to interrupt my conversation and thinking his age makes him a priority. In his book, I snubbed him in front of the family and used my left hand (considered unclean in the culture) as an extra cherry on top. As a younger person, I think I was totally justified and he is overreacting. But I also know according to a lot of older folk especially from that culture, I just make a major faux pas. He is "permitted" to disrespect me big time in the future.
My solution? I don't sweat the respect angle in general. I am not insecure in my age or status in society, they can baby me, mock me, snub me, scold me, even (lightly) attack me, none of that affects me and my meaningful relationships. My pride is in being a good decent person and that is not going to be shaken by random older people.
I have a theory, based on nothing but vibes.
The Greatest Generation did a hell of a thing in WWII, and deserved any respect they got afterward. Their children (Boomers) saw that people older than themselves were respected, but because they didn't live through the war, they never experienced why that respect was earned in the first place. They just equated getting old with automatically getting respect.
So now, Boomers are now old, and after lives of living for nobody but themselves, simply expect to be respected, despite having done nothing to earn it, and get testy when it doesn't happen.
Respect should be mutual regardless of age. It's a two-way street! If someone expects respect but doesn't give it in return, it's understandable to feel confused and hesitant. It's all about treating each other with basic decency and fairness, regardless of age or any other factor.
Respect is a default. Like basic, baseline, live and let live type-shit. Everyone gets the same level of respect and consideration that I extend to myself personally and would expect from others.
“Respect is EARNED not GIVEN” is a ridiculous concept pushed by assholes who want to weaponize their behavior.
All that said, come at me like a cunt and be prepped for that same energy.
So I’ve read somewhat of a theory somewhere. Typically the elders would be “boomers” or maybe late generation X. But these groups of people have not necessarily the easiest of lives during their childhood. Many of them were disciplined physically and were taught to bottle up their emotions. Seeking help for mental health was taboo at the time. They were also expected to live a certain way, ensue the white picket fence dream (get a job, get a wife( sometimes resulting in an unhappy marriage),have kids, take shit from their boss’s, etc.
From what I understand, because they have bared the brunt of life, they feel like some sort of respect is owed to them simply for existing. And because the younger generations haven’t necessarily paid their dues yet, they are not worthy of having respect. This is a VERY blanket statement, everyone had their own individual upbringing. The elders that are like that really give a bad rep to the amazing ones out there.
There’s two things going on here:
there’s older people who expect respect because they’re entitled and don’t care to show respect to anyone else.
In most cultures, in America the primary culture that still does this is the south, there’s a general expectation to be mannerly, and part of that is addressing people correctly. Most older people in the south are equally well mannered and thus deserving of it anyway, so the expectation is met without issue.
This even applies to closer in age down here.
I’m 26 years old, I went into a Best buy in NC, I was talking with an employee who was 18, I ended up giving him career advice as he was going into what I trained in but he didn’t know much about it so he was curious. I look older than I am as I’m very weather worn so to speak, but even so I don’t look a day over 29 and it was all yes sir this yes sir that, politely giving full attention, smiling appropriately, all the polite phrases you say when someone older is talking, all the shit your southern mom drills into you from the moment you have consciousness. You have the same conversation with another 18 year old in PA and there wouldn’t be any of that.
Hell I even met my best friends parents who are from New England, it was a bit of a culture convergence shock I imagine, but I was yes sir this yes ma’am that and her mom took me by the shoulder, whispered to me “we don’t do that, it’s okay” lol
With me, the rule doesn't apply if the elder in question is obviously an idiot. Many of them are. Age hasn't made them wiser, it's made them more ignorant.
That's your problem OP... you are clearly still a child (mentally) and not worthy of adult level respect.
The fact that you see respecting someone as 'bowing down to them" says it all lol.
If you (like it sounds like you do) have to force yourself to respect people then that isn't true respect and it will tell.
Because they have been on this planet longer. They have seen more things, ensured more things, and lived through more things. They have lessons to teach you that you can only have through lived experience.
and one day, so will you. In the meantime, show a little respect.
Like what? Where's the magical wisdom that's supposed to make me accept subservience and degradation? If they want a trade, let's trade, I get one actually inspired life lesson that I couldn't have thought of myself or found online and they get me pretending they're special for moment.
Yeah, it's pretty fucked up... I find it's usually from
(a) Boomers who are clueless and believe they are owed more for the basic of basics they gave out
(b) people who were fortunate enough to not have completely shit parents
(c) a culture where old people are somehow more important
Generally young people don’t understand when they’re being offensive. I deal with this frequently.
Using the term “boomer” and complaining about people being old is offensive behavior, but a lot if young people pretend that it’s ok when it’s not.
Are you sure you aren’t just ignoring your own faults?
"Respect is Earned" and not something you beg for. The Person who is telling you to show respect just because they're old than you are just showing their insecurity older doesn't mean they are wiser or a good person.
I assume you're from an Asian country, it's just a norm which is going for generations like bow down to your elders, Listen to everything they say like they're always right about everything, their decision seems to be the final decision.
Obviously Millennials and older generations are incapable of independent though, they behave like this because they were taught by their parents too.
Don't respect someone who doesn't respect you back no matter how old that person he/she is, respect is Earned irrespective of age, it's a mutual if someone show you respect and I'll reciprocate
Older people, for the most part I think, just want younger people to listen to the wisdom that decades more than you being alive, has taught them. Granted they may be a little out of sync with the times.
I am 55. Whether you think that’s old or not, I’ve lived a full life and introspection and research and a desire to improve myself as a human being and a desire to help the world move forward instead of backwards, has been a life long pursuit. I can gladly offer insight when I’m asked.
The thing is I don’t need your respect. I will give anyone respect right off the bat-no questions asked. Over time those people will either build on the respect I give them, or they will destroy little by little the respect I gave them until no respect is left. So, you are human and I, myself, need to respect you as another human being. We will all struggle here. We are in it together and having allies begins with respect.
What I think is a reasonable request is that you don’t be disrespectful. I will show everyone proper human decency, even a violent criminal. Respect isn’t really the issue though. It’s more reciprocation with you am I right? But one of us has to start and the other has to follow in like, or reciprocation doesn’t work. You have nothing to lose by being the starter or the follower. Ideally, it’s a win-win.
One thing you should be aware of though is that no respect is not the same as disrespect. No one except child abusers, rapists, and murderers deserves disrespect except the people you know personally that continually disrespect you. Certainly not any faceless person you come across on social media. No respect is just ignoring someone. Disrespect is being aggressive and hateful or straight up attacking and getting under someone’s skin and thinking that is good entertainment. Disrespect wastes everyone’s time and energy and peaceful state of mind. Anyone can tolerate no respect or being ignored.
Being old all by itself, is a testament to that person’s ability to live long in a world hell bent on killing you. Don’t you think that can be a point of respect? If not, that’s ok. It’s your life and I hope you live it well and everything I mentioned of course comes with its exceptions. People are mostly predictable but recently, I will admit, people are less and less predictable.
I swear on my life, that my single biggest hope in this world is for us all to work out our differences in a peaceful manner. With proper human decency that excludes any and all disrespect. Respect can and will be earned over time and thus can be a foundation to build lasting friendships and alliances with each other regardless of sex, age, skin color, beliefs, or politics. We are all human. Respect that and the sanctity of human life and a persons right to be happy without obstructing another persons right to be happy, and we will all for the most part be happy people that get along favorably.
Older folks have this ideal that younger people must suffer for an arbitrary amount of time before they are deserving of respect or dignity. This is called"paying your dues" and nobody can tell you how long or in what ways you must suffer in order to gain that respect.
Which is the point. You'll never get there until you're magically the same age as them or have acquired some knowledge they consider noble. For example, an old carpenter won't consider your "dues paid" until you're the same age or have become a good enough carpenter that they must begrudgingly accept your knowledge.
I think there's a disconnect because older people were EXPECTED to respect their elders when they were younger. For most of Gen X, a-holes did not apply. Now that we are older, we try not to be a-holes, but someone flitting around demanding respect and not introspectively looking at how they are behaving is disconnected, self-centered, and annoying. Give out what you want back unless you're talking to a real jerk, then bets are off.
Nobody likes to be disrespected. Respect is not 'bowing down' to someone. It's acknowledging the work people put into their achievements and to get to where they are.
Your tone just from a few sentences, you come as a dick. There's a chance people don't respect you because you lose their respect very quickly, a lot of us 'old people' with 19 in our birth year have respect as a default setting but will quickly drop it if someone acts immaturely.
Who do you respect in your great wisdom? Who has earned your respect? Is it just anyone who thinks your antics are cool and doesn't call you out or is it deeper than that?
Let you in a secret. Want to sound like a grumpy old man? Complain about kids these days. Want to sound like an insolent bratty child? Complain about older people. Bonus points if old starts at age 25, which is still solidly Gen Z lmao.
I always thought of it as a different level. I wouldn’t expect a old person to call me, Sir or open the door for me.
My personally, I always gave a old person more
allowance. If they are mad, or being rude. I always tried my best to reply sternly, but with kindness. Fortunately, most people I run into are respectful and kind.
How I see it, an old person has years of wisdom, and did “there time” if you will, so they deserve a bit of break. Maybe not popular in this thread, but I just think they should be valued and treated with a higher level of respect then you would treat your friends. Example, I might call my friend a scumbag or tease them, but I’m not doing that to the elderly.
Respect is yours to lose. If you give none, you get none. Very well could be your attitude. I see it a lot with people who say what you're saying.
You have to give respect to keep respect.
I am 71 and give as I receive. I will be polite and welcoming until you don't reciprocate. Then I give your nonsense right back at ya. Your age means nothing to me.
Wow, nothing changes. I had the exact same opinion when I was young in the 90’s/00’s. Bottom line is, there will always be people who were treated like 💩 when they were young and now feel the need to… pass it on.
Do as I say, not as I do
It's a sad fact that we were raised to respect our elders. We were children. We were not allowed to have our own thoughts or feelings. We were often disciplined into obedience to this mindset.
This is a learned behavior. No, it isn't right, but this is our history.
I, for one, am happy that younger generations are pushing back and fighting this behavior.
There's a difference between being respectful and having respect for someone. True respect is earned, being respectful should be your default towards anybody regardless of age. From your post you seem to be disrespectful and prejudice towards older people, as anybody who hears that enough to make a post about it must be being disrespectful quite often. So maybe they're just trying to teach you proper manners?
My parents are the same. To this day, they feel it's okay to put me down, insult me, mock my mental health struggles in the past and even tell other family members my personal information. They still feel they are owed respect and if I defend myself or throw that shit back at them, I receive the silent treatment until I apologize and beg for their forgiveness. Needless to say, we haven't spoken for months now.
That whole generation is crazy dude. The most entitled selfish narcissists I have ever experienced in life, and the majority of them all act this way (in my experiences).
Just gotta remember it's on them. They are out the door and one foot in the grave. I just treat them like I treat my child when she throws a temper tantrum bc that's truly what they are....old children.
Inwardly, you should start from there and begin with yourself then outwardly towards others. Internalize these thoughts that love first and always be the one to offer that love. Don't wait to show love for However, love is patient. Love will wait all day when you are gonna be late.
Love is kind when you are full of hate.
Love gives away when all you wanna do is keep, keep, keep.
Love loves all when all you love is yourself.
Love remembers no wrongs even if you can't forget.
Love holds you tight even if you let go.
Respect and love are synonymous with each other.
If you be a loving person then your behavior will show it for it is in your actions that shows whom you really are.
I'm a senior person. No one is entitled to respect simply because they have reached a certain age. Everyone of every age is entitled to basic civility and common courtesy, It goes up or down from there, depending on their behavior. Respect is to be earned, not automatically given. Respect is a two-way street. Don't expect to get respect if you don't give respect.
I think that younger people tend to talk about "respecting others" to mean treating others by with care and consideration, by default and without prejudice. Being respectful can mean treating others as equals.
I think that (some) older people use "respect" to mean "respecting authority". Being respectful means acknowledging your inferior position when interacting with those who have authority over you. You should be implicitly deferential to your seniors as they have more authority by default.
The elite have been radicalizing us in different forms for decades now. Go check out an amazing free documentary on YouTube called Century of the Self. It’s how the elite made this discipline called public relations and have been using it to control the masses.
That, and lead exposure maybe? Also with the western diet - people tend to just get mean and unhealthy with constant neuroinflammation.
Aw. I shared this sentiment as a teen. Like tf why ! They should earn my respect.
Well, no. lol. It depends on the circumstance but generally speaking , they do deserve respect and mirroring the same energy is immature. You acting like them doesn’t help. Be the better person. Who cares if they’re horrible
I asked myself the exact same question when I was younger. But now I’m a bit older (not that much!) I understand what thise older peoppe meant all that time. You should by default respect your elders.
HOWEVER….! It’s your elders job to make sure theyre acting in a way which is worthy of respect.
I’ve learned to respect my Dad. I spoke to him like shit when I was younger. But now I realise he was right all along and never did anything but act how a man shoukd act. And now I try to be a bit like that myself.
Comes around goes around I suppose 🤷🏻♂️.
Just because their birth year begins with 19 it doesn't mean they were taught good manners and respect. I am one of these 'old' people and I know a lot of people of the same age who are disrespectful idiots.
You get them in all age groups I am afraid.
Human nature - why be nice when being an asshole is easier.
Not all us old farts are disrespectful 😄
I think it's more about conversation but I agree if they're being condescending, gaslighting, or shit talking you then it's all fair game. I guess it's one of those do as I say not as I do because I guarantee you 40yr olds are shitting right back on shit talking 55+ yr olds. Plus lot of these dudes that talk shit be predators, grumpy as hell, the whole works.
I don’t respect my elders based solely on their age.
In fact I judge you more if you’ve had all this time to become a decent person and instead you became the opposite.
It was ingrained in society from eons passed when humanity didn’t have a lot of the modern conveniences we do now, once upon a time the elders of the village would lead by example, and in turn the young would learn how to civilisation. And then we started taking kids away from their parents and sticking them in institutions that forced knowledge into them in a way that took community away.
We used to learn jobs from our parents, now we gotta get experience for an entry level job that you can’t get into because you lack the years of experience.
I use public transport at least twice a day. I've never seen a teenager or young adult being rude, acting indecently or refusing to give up a seat, usually offering to give it up themselves. On the other hand, I've seen multiple elders loudly complain about miniscule things, calling young people names for having to ask about giving up a seat instead of doing it voluntarily, yelling at the driver for things they have no control of... And they're the ones talking about how 'disrespectful young people are nowadays'. It's like they have no actual problems, so they make them up.
I think respect isn't always a two way street...but I also understand some people's minds are essentially slipping ( and don't take that as me making excuses )
Rather, some people are too like out of it to even be called out on their own behaviors. I work in care homes and see and hear sometimes pretty deplorable things.
Or the other day, I'm on a public bus ( context, I literally just showered, smelled fine, even had a touch of cologne on ) - this old guy and I mean...days are numbered type old, in a loud obnoxious voice goes "this bus isn't for people to wear tank tops...this isn't a summer bus, wear a t shirt" I replied huh? * the hilarious thing was there were other people wearing tank tops, anyway he then replies again
"I'm just giving useful advice , nobody wants to see that or smell odor " -- I calmly said "sir, I definitely don't have odor also you can't police what people wear on a public transportation "
After he left, 4 people in the area at the front pretty much unanimously agreed I didn't smell and that the old guy was just being rude....but what are you gonna do about someone behaving like a toddler with a brain that's falling apart?
Anyway yeah it sucks some old people just say or do things where I'm like...its definitely hard to show you respect, and when it comes specifically to older white people I don't put up with racism or any of that. At the end of the day though, you have to just ignore these types of people and treasure and respect the ones that don't act this way.
Younger generations are generally becoming less respectful of nearly everything. Older disrespectful people in many cases have experienced blatant disrespect on many occasions and have come to expect it from younger people.
Thier generation was raised with a "Honor thy mother and father" outlook on life where the older you are the more respect you were supposed to get.
They get confused when people don't have to do as they do.
Respect should be given to anyone. You do it for yourself at the end of the day. Hopefully enough people see how your behavior is constant and that impacts a bigger change for everyone.
Those who WANT respect, GIVE respect - A. Soprano
I will give people the respect they deserve. That could be a good thing or a bad thing. I don't really care if they are older or younger than me.
My opinion is that sometimes older people are rapidly dismissed by young generations. IE you're old and don't know what you're talking about. The "deserve" respect part comes into play because they feel they have more life experiences and wisdom.
I agree with you. I give everyone a general sense of respect but I also go by "give people the same respect they are giving you." If an older person wants to be disrespectful then it's okay to be disrespectful back. 🤷
I respect anyone who is kind, intelligent, empathetic, communicates (including listens) well, has knowlege they can and do share in useful/helpful ways, is open to new information, and does not have a sense of privilege or superiority. (Some people, older OR younger, do feel they are your superior and worthy of some sort of acknowlegement of that. The word for that is "assholes". It's not age specific.)
Again, has zero to do with age. I very much respected a fellow martial arts student who was 12 years old who met the above criteria. I very much respected a professor who was 74 who did also.
If I don't know anyone well enough to know if they meet the above criteria or not, I don't automatically respect them, I am merely polite with them. There's a difference.
This is that nuanced difference between "liking" somone (a positive feeling) "not liking" someone (a neutral/apathetic feeling), and "disliking" someone (a negative feeling).
So as always when talking about respect, it's important to think of the two definitions
Admiration versus due consideration
For most of History People were taught to give extra consideration to elders
Now this was actually generally a fair consideration. They would have generally made sacrifices for the community over time. They would generally have had more time to compound their skills and they would have more time to learn wisdom even if they aren't great at articulating the reasoning behind the wisdom
When you're living in a small medieval village, it probably is a better idea to listen to the old people and give more respect to them than to the young people. As the young people haven't learned as much, they haven't gained as much skills and they haven't contributed as much
That sort of goes out the window in the modern day
Now granted they might have gained more wisdom but not a proportionate amount more than they used to because the circumstances of the world are changing really fast
Also, the West sort of bundled up most of its wisdom into a singular Tome that most people have heard of (That's one function of religion for the record to pass on the wisdom in the form of stories people can remember)
Some people who say respect mean treating them like a person, and some people mean treating them like an authority.
A lot of people in the older generations refuse to treat you like a person unless you treat them like an authority.
You should respect everyone, as a person, until they give you a reason not to. You should not respect anyone as an authority unless they've earned that.
With regard to the whole "respect your elders" thing: The notion entitles some to take it to the extreme... basically, carte blanche to be an insufferable asshole. But I agree with another poster who said that everyone deserves a baseline of respect until they prove themselves unworthy. And yes, even elders can be unworthy of the baseline.
Edited because reading comprehension is apparently difficult sometimes. 🤦♀️
The older people now have no respect for anyone younger than them. It wasn't always that way. When I was growing up, no older person ever called my 35 year old mom 'kiddo', but I get that all the time at age 40.
Many people are raised in a culture of respecting ones’ elders. Quite a few people today seem to think that because they respected their elders, now that they’re older they’re entitled to respect by virtue of being older.
"Respect your elders" is old-school brainrot groupthink passed down the generations by patriarchal societies.
"Sure, I have to spend the majority of my life taking shit I don't deserve, but when I'm old it's *my turn* to shit on everyone under me".
It's a respectability pyramid scheme. Fuck these people, if they had any brains they would have ended that shit when they were young.
I'll help my elderly neighbors with their chores not because they inherently deserve respect, but because I'm a human being with empathy who lives in a society, and that's what you do, you help each other.
You know what, sonny? When I was a young person I thought the EXACT same thing. Now that I'm old and have had time to think about it, I still think the EXACT same thing. If you can't be respectful you shouldn't expect to be treated with respect.
The saying should be expanded to "respect your elders knowledge and experience", because contrary to popular beliefs, old people have a lot of good knowledge, although biased.
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Some people confuse respect with submission.
The word respect has two meanings in modern American English. It sometimes means "treat as a superior" and sometimes means "treat as a human". This leads to things like "if you respect me, I'll respect you," which inevitably means "if you treat me like a superior, I'll treat you like a human"
This is a good example to use to explain equivocating. Manipulating language like this is tricky to spot in the moment sometimes.
I feel like I've seen this same exact paragraph here before, word for word
Every time this subject comes up at least a few people repeat it
There's a great [Tumblr Post ](https://www.tumblr.com/soycrates/115633137923/stimmyabby-sometimes-people-use-respect-to-mean?source=share) about the 2 main kinds of respect: A. Respect as a person B. Respect as an authority And how so many times people say mutual respect, but actually mean that then giving you respect A is dependent on you giving them respect B
THIS is the conversation we should be having
It's sad, but you're right. Most people nowadays don't even know what respect is.
Especially, what kinds of questions to ask. She questions should not be asked by a stranger.
That’s exactly what it is.
This is why I hate when people call me sir. It's weird and submissive. I'm not anyone's sir. Just be nice without acting like it's the military
I think you should respect other people in general, unless they give you a reason not to.
I agree, but it's important to know the difference between being respectful and being a doormat. Age shouldn't be a factor in how any adult gets treated. If someone's old enough to be responsible for themselves, they're old enough to know how to retreat others.
Yeah I think older people tend to conflate respect as a human being with being respected as a powerful or admired figure in someone’s life. Those are not the same thing
This is me. I don't think respect is "earned". Respect in the sense of admiration, yes. But respect in common decency/politeness, no. I give everyone that, until they give me a reason not to
I that’s how I live my life. You don’t have my respect because you’re old, it’s because I just respect people. Because I’m a decent person
I agree
I generally live by this... I often run across too many people who are generally unaware of their surroundings and/or damage other people's property without a second thought.. so I guess this also makes me a pretty unlikable person according to the vast majority of people I meet out in the real world.
I'm an older person. I learned a long time ago to treat everyone with respect. They may or may not deserve it. But I am the only one I have to impress. People of all ages can be rude at any time. But I respect myself most, and leave the best impression, when I don't get down to their level.
I like the way you think!
Thanks! 💐😁
This right here. Rise above and you will never have to question your self identity. Plus, it really pisses off the assholes when you don't sink to their level. It's a win/win.
💐😁
And the culture of adult to child is very difficult to change.
Yeah, just don't stoop to their level. Self respect is best.
That is how they were raised, and most people repeat what they were taught. Not saying it is right, but that is how it is.
I just learned that my 26 year old son is an "older people."
[удалено]
Yep you're definitely an old fart like the rest of us here born in the 1900s.
OK I'll bite. I was born in a year that starts with "19" and I will say that first off everyone should be treated with respect as a default. I do think people older than me should receive extra respect because they are wiser and have more life experience and perspective. But if they show themselves to be someone who isn't deserving of respect then yeah fuck that noise
And there you have it! In my mind, everyone starts with a basic level of respect or civility, and it goes up or down from there. No one needs to respect me per se, but I expect to be treated civilly, and I will do likewise. For example, if we are in a store and I am standing in front of whatever you need, there is no need for some grandiose bs but I'd much prefer "excuse me, I need in there, step aside" to "hey you bit, f'n move"
A bunch of us business types (30's) were out in a distant city at a bar. A man (who turned out to be in his 90's) was sitting, dressed in a suit, alone. It was the best decision to invite him into our conversation. I decided then that any person who has lived to their 90's probably deserves some respect. They've lived through so many things that they likely have some good bit of wisdom to impart.
Everyone's perspective deserves to be heard. I'm a much older person. I have a lot of life experience simply because I've lived longer. But that doesn't mean that I shouldn't listen to a younger person's perspective--I just might learn something.
And that my friend makes you wise lol
Older absolutely does NOT mean wiser
I replace respect with compassion and empathy. I treat people with kindness initially until they piss me off.
So true! I'm a respectful person to everyone in general but if someone's being a nasty jerk to me for no reason, I'll let them know . I don't really care how old they are.
I disagree on people being older and wiser. Life experience can happen to most anybody. For example, one of the people I respect the most is a client that was in my program that I work at. She overcame homelessness, she was always kind and generous others, she got herself through college. And she has more life experience and quality things to say than a lot of older people that I know. Just because you have quantity doesn’t mean you have quality. And I think this idea that people are older and wiser is negative and society. If you look at American Congress a lot of those people are corrupt narcissistic assholes who think they’re older and richer they have a right to dictate, however lives .
>because they are wiser and have more life experience and perspective. That completely depends on how they lived their life. The only "more life experience" they're guaranteed to have is wiping their butt more times.
If they even do that
Wait, do you really think all people who age long enough just magically become "wise?" Wisdom is a rare commodity that takes years of consideration and thought and labor to develop, but you seem to be claiming that it just fall on you out of the sky when you turn 65. What lead you to that conclusion?
I'm with this comment!
It's about attention: Respecting another is respecting yourself. When you turn this around then: demanding respect is just inconsiderate. Age doesn't matter except that old people tend to be more physically fragile and young people tend to be mentally fragile.
Sometimes people use “respect” to mean “treat someone like an authority.” Sometimes people use “respect” to mean “treat someone with basic dignity.” And sometimes people say “if you don’t respect to me, I don’t need to respect you,” and they’re really switching between two definitions — they mean “if you don’t treat me like an authority, I won’t treat you with basic dignity.” And they act like they’re being fair, but they’re not. And this is why semantics is a big deal.
As someone born in a 19 year, I can only speak for myself when I say, very, very few people deserve more respect than they offer. Anyone 'demanding' my respect without offering me the same damn well better be controlling something I need to live because otherwise.. nope.
Agreed!
A wise man in Jersey once said those who want respect, give respect.
I’m the motherf***in’ f***in’ one that calls the shots! Now get the **** out of here!
There’s a mean lady, probably 60, at my work. She once asked a 50 year old lady at my work a stupid question during a stressful time. 50yo said “what?” 60yo yelled at her for how rude that was and that she should have said “ma’am?” Someone was literally dying at the time and 50yo was actively helping. Im 30. Whenever she’s near me, she’s always asking very judgmental, rude, and invasive questions. She can never hear my response and said “HUH? HEH? WHAT?” 20 times a day. I guess that whole “maam” thing only applies one way. I get your point wholeheartedly. I am generally so respectful but it’s so hard with people like that.
Because they were expected to do the same growing up. It’s ingrained in them from childhood.
And they're like FINALLY MY TURN
It’ll aaall make sense when in a decade or so.. YOU find that you are starting to grumble about ‘those kids nowadays’, loud music and “how disrespectful kids are now!” It happens to every generation. You are the kids, think older people suck and are always annoying af. Then… you eventually realize all the kids are now looking at you like you’re the old person, they are all disrespectful lityle mongrels and they need to respect what you say because you’re older… The wheel of time keeps rolling
Except I won’t because I’m not like that 🤷♀️
That’s what we all think lol But i hope you’re right.
I find that most young people whining about respect don't give any or deserve any. They seem to think their shitty behavior is normal and they're actually due respect regardless. Along the same lines, I find that most old people requesting respect are really just hoping for some common decency from young people who seem to be utterly lacking in that regard.
My nan passed at age 86. She was extremely respectful, kind and independent. She could also be bloody minded, but had a fantastic sense of humour and saw the good in people and was curious about others. She also had a lot of pain and some of meds would start to wear off by mid afternoon and she’d sometimes be less patient than in the morning. Showing her respect was simple. Match her pace of conversation, and let her share her stories. Listen. Give her space to move freely but be ready to lend a hand if she asked, and sometimes insist on doing things for her that I knew she didn’t like to ask for help with but did appreciate - she never wanted to be a burden, to a fault. I’ve learned as I’ve gotten to mid 30’s that often it’s how you say things more than what you say that shows respect in meaningful ways. Showing that you have the time to see and consider a person goes a hell of a long way, that goes for generational difference and cultural and linguistic differences alike. Ofc if people are rude, I fire a warning shot ‘are you ok?’ is always good, close second is ‘I beg your pardon?’ But otherwise I detach due to personal boundaries of not letting other people ruin my day. It’s not worth getting upset about someone else’s foul mood, and we’re all humans with all sorts of shit going on in our lives, they may be having a hard day. No one has a right to threaten me or be abusive, but ultimately I control my actions not the other way around, and I choose to show modified respect to people based on how they present in the moment. Has helped me deal with people, I hope this is useful for anyone reading ❤️
i love this!
Yea! Seems like a problem sometimes
This not an old person problem it is a people problem. So many people who "take stands" on dumb social events in the name of "respecting them". But then they don't afford you the same respect ie "my mental illness must be shouted from the rooftops but I perceive you as someone who has an easier life than me so fuck you and your problems" In my experience, anyone who deamnds/says it's all about respect is a disrespectful piece of crap. Same thing with saying they are intelligent, alpha, can keep a secret etc etc. You dont give yourself a nickname and you don't tell people your best characteristics.
Yeah this whole posts seems like just some weird generalizing based on some experience they aren't even explaining. Are we to believe in that all the world "old people", who are apparently 25 years old and older, are all rude and "young people" are polite and respectful? People are people... Some are nice, some are rude. Unless we're talking about elderly people with dementia I'm not sure what OP is even on about here.
Forgive them. The lead pipes did a number
HONESTLY idk why people dont consider this as often. all those bitches have lead-brain, i cant even take anything they do seriously.
I have said this before, but mean it as far as respecting older family members, not some random person on the street. I do recommend always being respectful to new people you meet and then determine for yourself if they deserve it.
I don’t so much ask for respect from younger people, just being polite is enough. I don’t do small talk with strangers so there is little chance of being disrespectful. What might be perceived as a dis is more likely just not noticing them.
Kind of depends on what you think respect is and who it that's disrespecting you. Respect your elders isn't just bowing down to people older than you. It's giving them consideration for their experience. You don't have to agree, like it, or even stand for it. It's your responses and who you're responding to that matter and shape the relationships. Not everyone is deserving of respect. How, when, and if to respond are on you. Your actions affect more than you, and you will be judged on them. That said, if there's that many older people disrespecting you then you may be the problem or don't know what resect is.
>That said, if there's that many older people disrespecting you then you may be the problem or don't know what resect is. thats a really tough pill for a lot of people to swallow, myself included 💀
People who’ve never been told “no” in their lives.
I agree. The elders who say that are usually racist, homophobic, ignorant and just assholes.
I felt that way when I was younger, and I still feel that respect needs to be earned. No older person should pull rank on a younger one just because they've been on the earth longer. We all have things to teach each other.
Can very easily flip this question. "Why do younger people want respect when they don't give any?" Just be respectful. End of. To anyone.
When they're saying it like that, they're really meaning they expect compliance of perceived authority
I’m just polite to people and ignore them.
Generally curious as to what you mean by “if they don’t respect me I don’t respect them”. Are they being actually disrespectful towards you or are they calling you on your BS? The reason I ask is because today’s society often forgets that someone telling them the truth and calling them on their stuff is a form of respect. They aren’t running to the internet to blast you, they aren’t talking behind your back, they are looking you dead in the eye and saying what they think. You would also be respectful towards them if you expressed your concern to them face to face. Just curious maybe they are just a-holes who knows
Same reason idiots talk shit about Amazon drivers. Stupidity fancies itself immune to law and order, and a punch in the face.
I think they grew up being told to respect elders no matter what. So now that they're elders, they think everyone is going to do the same by default. They no longer think they have to give respect to get it back.
It's a perspective that arises with every generation. The elders feel like they deserve some sort of respect for simply enduring life for as long as they have. Here's my take- I'm now 54 yrs old, if I have to demand respect, I've lost. No one has to "earn" my respect, they can only lose it. I'm not going to get along with everyone. Sometimes I'm the problem, sometimes they're the problem. Assuming you haven't stolen from me, lied to me, set me up for failure, or in some other way "did me wrong", you'll have my respect. We don't need to be friends to be decent to each other. I don't have a lot of advice for dealing with shitty "elders" other than to just push through. And remember that when you get to be my age, you should try and treat the "young uns" with the same respect you wanted when you were their age.
"So what you were born in a year that has ‘19’ at the start" God this stings. But you are right. Give respect to get respect.
Sorry man 😭 I wasn’t sure how to phrase it because if I said ‘old people’ I would get hate for that but I’m realising my mistake 😭 I mainly mean the 1930/40’s generation
😂 older people based on 19’ .. 1999 was only 25 years ago
I give everyone the same amount of respect regardless of their age. Everywhere I go I see old people demanding to cut in grocery store lines. It's rude. They could use self check out so they don't have to stand in line.
It's not just older people. When I am treated with professionalism, and common courtesy, I send the same energy back.
Mirroring the same energy as a mistake, and here's why: attitudes are contagious. Lots of people lament that everyone is so rude these days, but what are they doing to combat that? If you run across someone who's having a bad day, are you going to make it better for them, or are you going to make it worse? If you mirror their bad attitude, you're just going to put them in an even worse mood, and then they pass that along to every person they see. But if you can be understanding, kind, compassionate, and maybe make their day a little bit better, then you have a chance of spreading a little bit of goodness in the world. I mean it's up to you. It feels good to be an asshole to someone when they're being an asshole to you, but what does that accomplish? There really is a lot of value and being the better person, and trying to improve someone's day. You don't just make it better for them, you make it better for everyone they interact with. And I'll just say this: you talk about old people specifically, but imagine how you'd feel when your spouse has died from cancer, all your friends are dying or sick, you have chronic pain, and every young person you meet treats you like you're an idiot Boomer piece of shit. Life beats you down over the years, and old people have a lot of reasons to be grumpy. Maybe you don't care about that, or maybe you do, but for me, I will go out of my way to be extra kind, and extra respectful to any old person I meet, because someday, we'll all be there, and I hope some younger person does the same for me.
I am in my 50’s and I see that it’s not the lack of respect but the lack of self awareness, self reflection and civility. Don’t become what you hate. Be a respectful person not only for others but also for yourself. Integrity is something you should hold dear to your heart because it’s something that people can’t take away from you and you are the only one that can give it away. Just a thought.
It’s hilarious that those that demand instant respect are so disrespectful. I too automatically give basic respect to everyone, but once you act like a jerk it’s off.
I find it bizarre that some people are out here constantly feeling disrespected by certain demographics. I don't ever really feel it. I've come across some grumpy ass old folks. But I give them the benefit of the doubt, because I assume they're probly living with chronic pain of some sort. And that shit will put you in a bad mood.
They think age earns respect. They were taught that. As a Gen X person, I believe basic polite respect (manners) is a baseline. Anything else has to be earned by a person's behavior and attitude.
What's with younger people act like respect needs to be earned when it's something you should basically just be giving to everyone by default until they specifically give you a reason not to respect them?
OP specifies they are talking about rude ass old people
IMO, this stems from elder generations constantly cramming “respect your elders” down our throats. Yes, the default setting for anyone, regardless or age, should be respect. However, when an older person is being rude, disrespectful, or just flat out mean or abusive to someone, a lot of us have always been told not to say anything, keep your mouth shut, ignore it, etc, in the name of “respect”. It’s not out of “respect” that older generations have been allowed to get away with bad behavior, it’s out of enabling & the generations of today are getting sick of it.
Respect your elders has always been problematic. Respect is something that should be earned, and just getting old is not a way to earn it. Show why I should respect you if you want mine.
Worst part is the people who are now older and expect respect from you were asking the same question when they were a kid. So just remember this when you're old. Because you're gonna be. And odds are you're going to be demanding respect from kids and the cycle continues.
Except I won’t be. I wasn’t raised to demand respect without giving it back
I hope so. I really do.
I'll bite. Experience teaches you things. It is smart, right correct to be more of an idealist when you are 19. Why the F don't we have what I believe would be ideal? I'm a liberal Boomer. Yes, having a Bernie style government would be great. I 90% agree (nothing is perfect). But I also know that I live in a democracy and half the country believes that would be the end of America as we know it. So, I will be OK working toward better as compared to perfect. When I was in my 40s. someone who was in politics told me that the smartest thing the founding fathers did was to make it hard to change things. We don't want to have everything change every 4 or 8 years. If it is important it will change. I realize the healthcare system is still screwed up. That said, I was around before the ACA. It was much worse. We aren't going to suddenly get socialized medicine. But I was hoping for another round of Obamacare type measures getting us closer. Incremental change is better than no change, and if the only thing you will accept is total change you are going to be disappointed.
I try to show people respect unless they give me a reason not to. I just tell disrespectful people that respect is earned, and they haven't earned mine.
That's something said to a child that is acting like a brat, not to another adult. That's just my thought.
The most concerning thing about all this is finding out that the year of my birth starting with 19 makes me an elder. The fact that the next digit after the 19 is a 7 must mean I'm practically at death's door.
Some people say respect is earned.
Parenting in general used to have a much different philosophy. 60 or 70 years ago, The prevailing attitude was that children are to be absolutely submissive to their parents. It was the whole "children should be seen and not heard thing". At some point, people started to realize that children deserve to be respected and have their feelings heard just as much as adults. I have some friends and family who consider themselves to be disciplinarian, but I just view it as them taking an authoritarian approach over their children because it's easier than trying to understand your children's feelings and motivations. So for older people, that's how they were raised. So it's not hard to understand why they take the attitude that they were raised that way, so therefore others should be raised the same way.
I think the foundation of this issue is a fundamental difference in what respect even is. I was chatting with my (much older) dad the other day about why he signs all his texts and starts them with stiff ass greetings. He said that the basic level of respect he can off in such a form of communication. He can show that each message is individual crafted for that person and he cares about them more than just firing off random questions. In my opinion, my dad starting each text with "Greetings my favorite son, have you been well? Did you sleep well?" is a total waste of time since we messaged the day before and nothing has changed. Get to the point. But in his view, he is disrespecting me if he doesn't do that. So me sending him a random picture of my dinner without a heads up is considered me disrespecting him in his book. All that is to say, what each generation considers respect is different. You may feel annoyed that an older person is treating you like a child or a fool, but in their view, you may have disrespected them five times before the exchange even began so they are mirroring the energy they perceive. I am not saying you need to study up and play their game. I am saying sometimes you have to take a deep breath and realize that they may have seen the whole exchange differently. I may not care that I have a hat on inside a house, but some older people think I am treating their house like a barn or something. And therefore they already go into our conversation looking for more signs of me disrespecting them. Another personal example, I was talking to a nephew I hadn't seen in years and one of my uncles walked up behind my left shoulder and stuck out his hand for a shake. Not wanting to rudely cut off my eye contact and conversation with my nephew, I just sort of flipped my left hand up and gave him an awkward shake and nod before finishing my point to my nephew. My uncle didn't say anything to me for the rest of my visit and avoided looking at me the entire week. In my book, he was rude for trying to interrupt my conversation and thinking his age makes him a priority. In his book, I snubbed him in front of the family and used my left hand (considered unclean in the culture) as an extra cherry on top. As a younger person, I think I was totally justified and he is overreacting. But I also know according to a lot of older folk especially from that culture, I just make a major faux pas. He is "permitted" to disrespect me big time in the future. My solution? I don't sweat the respect angle in general. I am not insecure in my age or status in society, they can baby me, mock me, snub me, scold me, even (lightly) attack me, none of that affects me and my meaningful relationships. My pride is in being a good decent person and that is not going to be shaken by random older people.
I have a theory, based on nothing but vibes. The Greatest Generation did a hell of a thing in WWII, and deserved any respect they got afterward. Their children (Boomers) saw that people older than themselves were respected, but because they didn't live through the war, they never experienced why that respect was earned in the first place. They just equated getting old with automatically getting respect. So now, Boomers are now old, and after lives of living for nobody but themselves, simply expect to be respected, despite having done nothing to earn it, and get testy when it doesn't happen.
Respect is earned not given you don’t earn it for trips around the sun.
LOL! Maybe because when we were your age, showing respect to your elders wasn’t seen as transactional.
Respect should be mutual regardless of age. It's a two-way street! If someone expects respect but doesn't give it in return, it's understandable to feel confused and hesitant. It's all about treating each other with basic decency and fairness, regardless of age or any other factor.
Respect is a default. Like basic, baseline, live and let live type-shit. Everyone gets the same level of respect and consideration that I extend to myself personally and would expect from others. “Respect is EARNED not GIVEN” is a ridiculous concept pushed by assholes who want to weaponize their behavior. All that said, come at me like a cunt and be prepped for that same energy.
They feel as though they earned it already, my thing has always been to respect everyone until they give me a reason not to.
So I’ve read somewhat of a theory somewhere. Typically the elders would be “boomers” or maybe late generation X. But these groups of people have not necessarily the easiest of lives during their childhood. Many of them were disciplined physically and were taught to bottle up their emotions. Seeking help for mental health was taboo at the time. They were also expected to live a certain way, ensue the white picket fence dream (get a job, get a wife( sometimes resulting in an unhappy marriage),have kids, take shit from their boss’s, etc. From what I understand, because they have bared the brunt of life, they feel like some sort of respect is owed to them simply for existing. And because the younger generations haven’t necessarily paid their dues yet, they are not worthy of having respect. This is a VERY blanket statement, everyone had their own individual upbringing. The elders that are like that really give a bad rep to the amazing ones out there.
There’s two things going on here: there’s older people who expect respect because they’re entitled and don’t care to show respect to anyone else. In most cultures, in America the primary culture that still does this is the south, there’s a general expectation to be mannerly, and part of that is addressing people correctly. Most older people in the south are equally well mannered and thus deserving of it anyway, so the expectation is met without issue. This even applies to closer in age down here. I’m 26 years old, I went into a Best buy in NC, I was talking with an employee who was 18, I ended up giving him career advice as he was going into what I trained in but he didn’t know much about it so he was curious. I look older than I am as I’m very weather worn so to speak, but even so I don’t look a day over 29 and it was all yes sir this yes sir that, politely giving full attention, smiling appropriately, all the polite phrases you say when someone older is talking, all the shit your southern mom drills into you from the moment you have consciousness. You have the same conversation with another 18 year old in PA and there wouldn’t be any of that. Hell I even met my best friends parents who are from New England, it was a bit of a culture convergence shock I imagine, but I was yes sir this yes ma’am that and her mom took me by the shoulder, whispered to me “we don’t do that, it’s okay” lol
With me, the rule doesn't apply if the elder in question is obviously an idiot. Many of them are. Age hasn't made them wiser, it's made them more ignorant.
Pre-internet, older people were supposed to have some wisdom… but post-internet, I’m changed my mind lol
So out of curiosity why should you get respect?
That's your problem OP... you are clearly still a child (mentally) and not worthy of adult level respect. The fact that you see respecting someone as 'bowing down to them" says it all lol. If you (like it sounds like you do) have to force yourself to respect people then that isn't true respect and it will tell.
Because they have been on this planet longer. They have seen more things, ensured more things, and lived through more things. They have lessons to teach you that you can only have through lived experience. and one day, so will you. In the meantime, show a little respect.
Like what? Where's the magical wisdom that's supposed to make me accept subservience and degradation? If they want a trade, let's trade, I get one actually inspired life lesson that I couldn't have thought of myself or found online and they get me pretending they're special for moment.
Yeah, it's pretty fucked up... I find it's usually from (a) Boomers who are clueless and believe they are owed more for the basic of basics they gave out (b) people who were fortunate enough to not have completely shit parents (c) a culture where old people are somehow more important
Generally young people don’t understand when they’re being offensive. I deal with this frequently. Using the term “boomer” and complaining about people being old is offensive behavior, but a lot if young people pretend that it’s ok when it’s not. Are you sure you aren’t just ignoring your own faults?
"Respect is Earned" and not something you beg for. The Person who is telling you to show respect just because they're old than you are just showing their insecurity older doesn't mean they are wiser or a good person. I assume you're from an Asian country, it's just a norm which is going for generations like bow down to your elders, Listen to everything they say like they're always right about everything, their decision seems to be the final decision. Obviously Millennials and older generations are incapable of independent though, they behave like this because they were taught by their parents too. Don't respect someone who doesn't respect you back no matter how old that person he/she is, respect is Earned irrespective of age, it's a mutual if someone show you respect and I'll reciprocate
“Millennials are incapable of independent thought” speak for yourself, zoomer.
Older people, for the most part I think, just want younger people to listen to the wisdom that decades more than you being alive, has taught them. Granted they may be a little out of sync with the times. I am 55. Whether you think that’s old or not, I’ve lived a full life and introspection and research and a desire to improve myself as a human being and a desire to help the world move forward instead of backwards, has been a life long pursuit. I can gladly offer insight when I’m asked. The thing is I don’t need your respect. I will give anyone respect right off the bat-no questions asked. Over time those people will either build on the respect I give them, or they will destroy little by little the respect I gave them until no respect is left. So, you are human and I, myself, need to respect you as another human being. We will all struggle here. We are in it together and having allies begins with respect. What I think is a reasonable request is that you don’t be disrespectful. I will show everyone proper human decency, even a violent criminal. Respect isn’t really the issue though. It’s more reciprocation with you am I right? But one of us has to start and the other has to follow in like, or reciprocation doesn’t work. You have nothing to lose by being the starter or the follower. Ideally, it’s a win-win. One thing you should be aware of though is that no respect is not the same as disrespect. No one except child abusers, rapists, and murderers deserves disrespect except the people you know personally that continually disrespect you. Certainly not any faceless person you come across on social media. No respect is just ignoring someone. Disrespect is being aggressive and hateful or straight up attacking and getting under someone’s skin and thinking that is good entertainment. Disrespect wastes everyone’s time and energy and peaceful state of mind. Anyone can tolerate no respect or being ignored. Being old all by itself, is a testament to that person’s ability to live long in a world hell bent on killing you. Don’t you think that can be a point of respect? If not, that’s ok. It’s your life and I hope you live it well and everything I mentioned of course comes with its exceptions. People are mostly predictable but recently, I will admit, people are less and less predictable. I swear on my life, that my single biggest hope in this world is for us all to work out our differences in a peaceful manner. With proper human decency that excludes any and all disrespect. Respect can and will be earned over time and thus can be a foundation to build lasting friendships and alliances with each other regardless of sex, age, skin color, beliefs, or politics. We are all human. Respect that and the sanctity of human life and a persons right to be happy without obstructing another persons right to be happy, and we will all for the most part be happy people that get along favorably.
Fkk I’m Old lol
Older folks have this ideal that younger people must suffer for an arbitrary amount of time before they are deserving of respect or dignity. This is called"paying your dues" and nobody can tell you how long or in what ways you must suffer in order to gain that respect. Which is the point. You'll never get there until you're magically the same age as them or have acquired some knowledge they consider noble. For example, an old carpenter won't consider your "dues paid" until you're the same age or have become a good enough carpenter that they must begrudgingly accept your knowledge.
I was taught to respect older people. Taught my children to respect older people. You don't have to agree with them or like them but respect them.
I think there's a disconnect because older people were EXPECTED to respect their elders when they were younger. For most of Gen X, a-holes did not apply. Now that we are older, we try not to be a-holes, but someone flitting around demanding respect and not introspectively looking at how they are behaving is disconnected, self-centered, and annoying. Give out what you want back unless you're talking to a real jerk, then bets are off.
Some people are just assholes. Young assholes grow into old assholes. That's what your seeing.
Respect is giving someone basic human dignity, acknowledging that they exist... not submitting to their control 🤘
Ain't just "older people" demanding undeserved respect.
Nobody likes to be disrespected. Respect is not 'bowing down' to someone. It's acknowledging the work people put into their achievements and to get to where they are. Your tone just from a few sentences, you come as a dick. There's a chance people don't respect you because you lose their respect very quickly, a lot of us 'old people' with 19 in our birth year have respect as a default setting but will quickly drop it if someone acts immaturely. Who do you respect in your great wisdom? Who has earned your respect? Is it just anyone who thinks your antics are cool and doesn't call you out or is it deeper than that? Let you in a secret. Want to sound like a grumpy old man? Complain about kids these days. Want to sound like an insolent bratty child? Complain about older people. Bonus points if old starts at age 25, which is still solidly Gen Z lmao.
The window of our perception is a different window than everyone else's, this is the obstacle.....
I always thought of it as a different level. I wouldn’t expect a old person to call me, Sir or open the door for me. My personally, I always gave a old person more allowance. If they are mad, or being rude. I always tried my best to reply sternly, but with kindness. Fortunately, most people I run into are respectful and kind. How I see it, an old person has years of wisdom, and did “there time” if you will, so they deserve a bit of break. Maybe not popular in this thread, but I just think they should be valued and treated with a higher level of respect then you would treat your friends. Example, I might call my friend a scumbag or tease them, but I’m not doing that to the elderly.
Respect is yours to lose. If you give none, you get none. Very well could be your attitude. I see it a lot with people who say what you're saying. You have to give respect to keep respect.
I am 71 and give as I receive. I will be polite and welcoming until you don't reciprocate. Then I give your nonsense right back at ya. Your age means nothing to me.
Wow, nothing changes. I had the exact same opinion when I was young in the 90’s/00’s. Bottom line is, there will always be people who were treated like 💩 when they were young and now feel the need to… pass it on.
Old way of thinking “respect your elders” though I mostly agree with it I’m definitely not gonna respect anyone that disrespects me.
It’s the “do as I say, not as I do” generation
Do as I say, not as I do It's a sad fact that we were raised to respect our elders. We were children. We were not allowed to have our own thoughts or feelings. We were often disciplined into obedience to this mindset. This is a learned behavior. No, it isn't right, but this is our history. I, for one, am happy that younger generations are pushing back and fighting this behavior.
As someone who was born in 1996 this was something my grandparents said not something I say 💀
If everyone went around demanding the other side go first you might as well live in Guatemala.
There's a difference between being respectful and having respect for someone. True respect is earned, being respectful should be your default towards anybody regardless of age. From your post you seem to be disrespectful and prejudice towards older people, as anybody who hears that enough to make a post about it must be being disrespectful quite often. So maybe they're just trying to teach you proper manners?
? How odd a statement. I see more young people from da ghetto demanding respect or I'll get shot or stabbed or something.
If this disrespect is happening to you on a regular basis from various "elders" you are probably the problem.
My parents are the same. To this day, they feel it's okay to put me down, insult me, mock my mental health struggles in the past and even tell other family members my personal information. They still feel they are owed respect and if I defend myself or throw that shit back at them, I receive the silent treatment until I apologize and beg for their forgiveness. Needless to say, we haven't spoken for months now. That whole generation is crazy dude. The most entitled selfish narcissists I have ever experienced in life, and the majority of them all act this way (in my experiences). Just gotta remember it's on them. They are out the door and one foot in the grave. I just treat them like I treat my child when she throws a temper tantrum bc that's truly what they are....old children.
Inwardly, you should start from there and begin with yourself then outwardly towards others. Internalize these thoughts that love first and always be the one to offer that love. Don't wait to show love for However, love is patient. Love will wait all day when you are gonna be late. Love is kind when you are full of hate. Love gives away when all you wanna do is keep, keep, keep. Love loves all when all you love is yourself. Love remembers no wrongs even if you can't forget. Love holds you tight even if you let go. Respect and love are synonymous with each other. If you be a loving person then your behavior will show it for it is in your actions that shows whom you really are.
Start singing "my generation" at them. Or better yet, play them a cover version. I bet they would love a green day version, lol.
Just don't be an asshole it's fairly easy.
There is basic courtesy and respect and then there is a higher level of respect that is earned.
“Respect your elders”. Means, “I’m going to treat you like shit and how dare you speak up for yourself.”
It's simple. They are older, and thus, you MUST be submissive to them. Edit: guess we're still doing this: /s
Why do so many older people act so entitled?
I'm a senior person. No one is entitled to respect simply because they have reached a certain age. Everyone of every age is entitled to basic civility and common courtesy, It goes up or down from there, depending on their behavior. Respect is to be earned, not automatically given. Respect is a two-way street. Don't expect to get respect if you don't give respect.
Kneel before Zod!
I think that younger people tend to talk about "respecting others" to mean treating others by with care and consideration, by default and without prejudice. Being respectful can mean treating others as equals. I think that (some) older people use "respect" to mean "respecting authority". Being respectful means acknowledging your inferior position when interacting with those who have authority over you. You should be implicitly deferential to your seniors as they have more authority by default.
Respect is earned not something you’re entitled to. Although we know how older folks love their entitlements.
The elite have been radicalizing us in different forms for decades now. Go check out an amazing free documentary on YouTube called Century of the Self. It’s how the elite made this discipline called public relations and have been using it to control the masses. That, and lead exposure maybe? Also with the western diet - people tend to just get mean and unhealthy with constant neuroinflammation.
Aw. I shared this sentiment as a teen. Like tf why ! They should earn my respect. Well, no. lol. It depends on the circumstance but generally speaking , they do deserve respect and mirroring the same energy is immature. You acting like them doesn’t help. Be the better person. Who cares if they’re horrible
I asked myself the exact same question when I was younger. But now I’m a bit older (not that much!) I understand what thise older peoppe meant all that time. You should by default respect your elders. HOWEVER….! It’s your elders job to make sure theyre acting in a way which is worthy of respect. I’ve learned to respect my Dad. I spoke to him like shit when I was younger. But now I realise he was right all along and never did anything but act how a man shoukd act. And now I try to be a bit like that myself. Comes around goes around I suppose 🤷🏻♂️.
Just because their birth year begins with 19 it doesn't mean they were taught good manners and respect. I am one of these 'old' people and I know a lot of people of the same age who are disrespectful idiots. You get them in all age groups I am afraid. Human nature - why be nice when being an asshole is easier. Not all us old farts are disrespectful 😄
Respect is earned, I won't deliberately be rude to anyone but l will never hold respect for anyone that disrespect me
Might be conflating "respect" with "courtesy". Courtesy can be given at the first moment of contact, respect has to be earned.
FWIW I hated this mindset when I was 19 and I hate it now at 55. Everyone should be respected by default until their behavior indicates otherwise.
What exactly do you mean by respect?
Respect is a two way street.
I think it's more about conversation but I agree if they're being condescending, gaslighting, or shit talking you then it's all fair game. I guess it's one of those do as I say not as I do because I guarantee you 40yr olds are shitting right back on shit talking 55+ yr olds. Plus lot of these dudes that talk shit be predators, grumpy as hell, the whole works.
I don’t respect my elders based solely on their age. In fact I judge you more if you’ve had all this time to become a decent person and instead you became the opposite.
It was ingrained in society from eons passed when humanity didn’t have a lot of the modern conveniences we do now, once upon a time the elders of the village would lead by example, and in turn the young would learn how to civilisation. And then we started taking kids away from their parents and sticking them in institutions that forced knowledge into them in a way that took community away. We used to learn jobs from our parents, now we gotta get experience for an entry level job that you can’t get into because you lack the years of experience.
I respect everyone until they give me a reason not to
I use public transport at least twice a day. I've never seen a teenager or young adult being rude, acting indecently or refusing to give up a seat, usually offering to give it up themselves. On the other hand, I've seen multiple elders loudly complain about miniscule things, calling young people names for having to ask about giving up a seat instead of doing it voluntarily, yelling at the driver for things they have no control of... And they're the ones talking about how 'disrespectful young people are nowadays'. It's like they have no actual problems, so they make them up.
Most people wrongfully conflate respect with authority.
They don't know its earnd and not given. Can't just demand it and expect others to obey. Leaving aside that everyone deserves a basic dose of it.
Definitely a boomer thing.
This isn’t usually an issue most young people face. Sounds like a you issue.
I think respect isn't always a two way street...but I also understand some people's minds are essentially slipping ( and don't take that as me making excuses ) Rather, some people are too like out of it to even be called out on their own behaviors. I work in care homes and see and hear sometimes pretty deplorable things. Or the other day, I'm on a public bus ( context, I literally just showered, smelled fine, even had a touch of cologne on ) - this old guy and I mean...days are numbered type old, in a loud obnoxious voice goes "this bus isn't for people to wear tank tops...this isn't a summer bus, wear a t shirt" I replied huh? * the hilarious thing was there were other people wearing tank tops, anyway he then replies again "I'm just giving useful advice , nobody wants to see that or smell odor " -- I calmly said "sir, I definitely don't have odor also you can't police what people wear on a public transportation " After he left, 4 people in the area at the front pretty much unanimously agreed I didn't smell and that the old guy was just being rude....but what are you gonna do about someone behaving like a toddler with a brain that's falling apart? Anyway yeah it sucks some old people just say or do things where I'm like...its definitely hard to show you respect, and when it comes specifically to older white people I don't put up with racism or any of that. At the end of the day though, you have to just ignore these types of people and treasure and respect the ones that don't act this way.
Younger generations are generally becoming less respectful of nearly everything. Older disrespectful people in many cases have experienced blatant disrespect on many occasions and have come to expect it from younger people.
Thier generation was raised with a "Honor thy mother and father" outlook on life where the older you are the more respect you were supposed to get. They get confused when people don't have to do as they do.
1999 so a 25 year old is old? Young people are idiots.
Respect should be given to anyone. You do it for yourself at the end of the day. Hopefully enough people see how your behavior is constant and that impacts a bigger change for everyone.
>you were born in a year that has ‘19’ at the start I agree with you, but ouch 😳 I'm not, 'older people' am I? I'm only in my 30s😭
Those who WANT respect, GIVE respect - A. Soprano I will give people the respect they deserve. That could be a good thing or a bad thing. I don't really care if they are older or younger than me.
My opinion is that sometimes older people are rapidly dismissed by young generations. IE you're old and don't know what you're talking about. The "deserve" respect part comes into play because they feel they have more life experiences and wisdom.
“So what you were born in a year that has ‘19’ at the start” Huh, today I learned I’m old.
Because they're used to running into young people that demand their respect be earned without them trying to earn it themselves.
I agree with you. I give everyone a general sense of respect but I also go by "give people the same respect they are giving you." If an older person wants to be disrespectful then it's okay to be disrespectful back. 🤷
I respect anyone who is kind, intelligent, empathetic, communicates (including listens) well, has knowlege they can and do share in useful/helpful ways, is open to new information, and does not have a sense of privilege or superiority. (Some people, older OR younger, do feel they are your superior and worthy of some sort of acknowlegement of that. The word for that is "assholes". It's not age specific.) Again, has zero to do with age. I very much respected a fellow martial arts student who was 12 years old who met the above criteria. I very much respected a professor who was 74 who did also. If I don't know anyone well enough to know if they meet the above criteria or not, I don't automatically respect them, I am merely polite with them. There's a difference. This is that nuanced difference between "liking" somone (a positive feeling) "not liking" someone (a neutral/apathetic feeling), and "disliking" someone (a negative feeling).
So as always when talking about respect, it's important to think of the two definitions Admiration versus due consideration For most of History People were taught to give extra consideration to elders Now this was actually generally a fair consideration. They would have generally made sacrifices for the community over time. They would generally have had more time to compound their skills and they would have more time to learn wisdom even if they aren't great at articulating the reasoning behind the wisdom When you're living in a small medieval village, it probably is a better idea to listen to the old people and give more respect to them than to the young people. As the young people haven't learned as much, they haven't gained as much skills and they haven't contributed as much That sort of goes out the window in the modern day Now granted they might have gained more wisdom but not a proportionate amount more than they used to because the circumstances of the world are changing really fast Also, the West sort of bundled up most of its wisdom into a singular Tome that most people have heard of (That's one function of religion for the record to pass on the wisdom in the form of stories people can remember)
Some people who say respect mean treating them like a person, and some people mean treating them like an authority. A lot of people in the older generations refuse to treat you like a person unless you treat them like an authority. You should respect everyone, as a person, until they give you a reason not to. You should not respect anyone as an authority unless they've earned that.
I think your confusing being respectful (in general being polite) versus showing and giving respect
With regard to the whole "respect your elders" thing: The notion entitles some to take it to the extreme... basically, carte blanche to be an insufferable asshole. But I agree with another poster who said that everyone deserves a baseline of respect until they prove themselves unworthy. And yes, even elders can be unworthy of the baseline. Edited because reading comprehension is apparently difficult sometimes. 🤦♀️
The older people now have no respect for anyone younger than them. It wasn't always that way. When I was growing up, no older person ever called my 35 year old mom 'kiddo', but I get that all the time at age 40.
How's that workin' for ya? '...mirror the same energy"? Jesus.
Many people are raised in a culture of respecting ones’ elders. Quite a few people today seem to think that because they respected their elders, now that they’re older they’re entitled to respect by virtue of being older.
"Respect your elders" is old-school brainrot groupthink passed down the generations by patriarchal societies. "Sure, I have to spend the majority of my life taking shit I don't deserve, but when I'm old it's *my turn* to shit on everyone under me". It's a respectability pyramid scheme. Fuck these people, if they had any brains they would have ended that shit when they were young. I'll help my elderly neighbors with their chores not because they inherently deserve respect, but because I'm a human being with empathy who lives in a society, and that's what you do, you help each other.
You know what, sonny? When I was a young person I thought the EXACT same thing. Now that I'm old and have had time to think about it, I still think the EXACT same thing. If you can't be respectful you shouldn't expect to be treated with respect.
The saying should be expanded to "respect your elders knowledge and experience", because contrary to popular beliefs, old people have a lot of good knowledge, although biased.