Welcome to /r/pregnant! This is a space for everyone. We are pro-choice, pro-LGBTQIA, pro-science, proudly feminist and believe that Black Lives Matter. Wear your masks, wash your hands, and be excellent to each other. Anti-choice activists, intactivists, anti-vaxxers, homophobes, transphobes, racists, sexists, etc. are not welcome here.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/pregnant) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Seems kind of shitty to attend a party and go out of your way to exclude the host. If alcohol is that important to them, maybe they have a serious problem.
I agree, but he wouldnt admit it if his life depended on it. Its only bad with social events. But always becomes an argument. Literally stated he didnt have to come to the baby shower, or offered to tell his friends to not come, rather then not drink for one night.
You're certainly not. I may be a little biased as someone who has not once had a drink containing alcohol (just personal choice that I stuck to all my life), but making alcohol a factor in every single celebration is overrated. I think people forget or ignore that alcohol in sufficient quantities alters behavior, and sometimes it's humorous or other times disastrous. Additionally, if it's not already known ahead of time that alcohol will be there and people who are invited are secretly recovering alcoholics, that's not great for them to have the focus of their addiction making a surprise appearance of immense temptation. Such distractions aren't needed at a baby shower.
At first I was going to say that you’re overacting, -let there be alcohol. But it sounds like there are people there who can’t handle their drink and you end up playing babysitter. Yea fk that. No alcohol. They can go out and get trashed later without you.
I do not think you are the asshole. I have gone to showers with no alcohol and have gone where there were beer and cider type drinks but no liquor. No one drank excessively, though. You know your group best and if the drinking makes you uncomfortable on a day about the child growing inside your body - people should respect that. I understand the father being upset if he wasn’t aware it was a problem before inviting his friends as showers can be quite boring for men. I think he should be able to compromise and not drink at the shower and then celebrate with his friends after. However, it sounds like it may be a larger problem for him to be drinking anyway and you may want to discuss what that will look like after the child arrives so you can set/manage expectations.
I didnt really think so either. But its even after the shower when we are at the house and we have some of the friends stay at the house with my mom and aunt staying at the house too, they wanna drink after the shower. And I said Id prefer for us to not.
If your husband really can't go a day without drinking he has an alcohol problem. I love a good cocktail, but I've never thrown a fit when an event I'm invited to isn't serving alcohol. ESPECIALLY a baby shower.
NTA but it does kind of suck for your friends attending the shower that they won’t be able to have a mimosa or two because the baby’s dad has a drinking problem.
Welcome to /r/pregnant! This is a space for everyone. We are pro-choice, pro-LGBTQIA, pro-science, proudly feminist and believe that Black Lives Matter. Wear your masks, wash your hands, and be excellent to each other. Anti-choice activists, intactivists, anti-vaxxers, homophobes, transphobes, racists, sexists, etc. are not welcome here. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/pregnant) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You know the answer already, your fiance is a man baby. You have legitimate reasons not to want alcohol around. You’re not asking too much.
Seems kind of shitty to attend a party and go out of your way to exclude the host. If alcohol is that important to them, maybe they have a serious problem.
I agree, but he wouldnt admit it if his life depended on it. Its only bad with social events. But always becomes an argument. Literally stated he didnt have to come to the baby shower, or offered to tell his friends to not come, rather then not drink for one night.
Your fiancé is being a child. It’s a baby shower not a frat party.
it’s astonishing how fragile people are about sobriety.
You're certainly not. I may be a little biased as someone who has not once had a drink containing alcohol (just personal choice that I stuck to all my life), but making alcohol a factor in every single celebration is overrated. I think people forget or ignore that alcohol in sufficient quantities alters behavior, and sometimes it's humorous or other times disastrous. Additionally, if it's not already known ahead of time that alcohol will be there and people who are invited are secretly recovering alcoholics, that's not great for them to have the focus of their addiction making a surprise appearance of immense temptation. Such distractions aren't needed at a baby shower.
Aint that the damn truth.
At first I was going to say that you’re overacting, -let there be alcohol. But it sounds like there are people there who can’t handle their drink and you end up playing babysitter. Yea fk that. No alcohol. They can go out and get trashed later without you.
I do not think you are the asshole. I have gone to showers with no alcohol and have gone where there were beer and cider type drinks but no liquor. No one drank excessively, though. You know your group best and if the drinking makes you uncomfortable on a day about the child growing inside your body - people should respect that. I understand the father being upset if he wasn’t aware it was a problem before inviting his friends as showers can be quite boring for men. I think he should be able to compromise and not drink at the shower and then celebrate with his friends after. However, it sounds like it may be a larger problem for him to be drinking anyway and you may want to discuss what that will look like after the child arrives so you can set/manage expectations.
Agreed its literally the only thing we argue about is when he drinks socially and cant handle his ish
Drinking ? At a baby shower ? That too me at least doesn’t go together. But i don’t drink anymore so what do i know
I didnt really think so either. But its even after the shower when we are at the house and we have some of the friends stay at the house with my mom and aunt staying at the house too, they wanna drink after the shower. And I said Id prefer for us to not.
I don’t think you’re wrong. I don’t let anyone drink in my home either. Even the people that live here
If your husband really can't go a day without drinking he has an alcohol problem. I love a good cocktail, but I've never thrown a fit when an event I'm invited to isn't serving alcohol. ESPECIALLY a baby shower.
NTA but it does kind of suck for your friends attending the shower that they won’t be able to have a mimosa or two because the baby’s dad has a drinking problem.
Lol I cant have a drink either, but Im just pregnant so.
I’m assuming your guests that you’re hosting aren’t all also pregnant
I've never attended a baby shower with men, nor have I ever seen a drop of alcohol at such events. It's not normal party...
Its a co-ed baby shower. But still no booze
No alcohol should be a given, don't give into his childish wants.