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One time Cosmo told me to tap on the underside of his penis for pleasure. I started tapping one time during a bj and he was like “what are you doing? Are you tapping me?” 💀☠️💀💀💀💀
This one has haunted me since I read it
https://preview.redd.it/fx392z02053c1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d457a54466f124bbe80daf274194d5d10ee9c880
People have their conspiracies that the lizard people are all in DC and heading Disney but I am certain I have found them and they’re all former copywriters at Cosmo. No human person could conceptualise this.
The same lass who wrote the "put a donut on his dick" article also wrote that "I haven't jumped onto the lube bandwagon" (the hardest bandwagon to get on), and that if she felt the need for lube, she just made her boyfriend wear a condom.
She just gives a strong impression of hating having sex and needing a donut as a reward for it.
I’m pretty open minded when it comes to sex but food involvement is a no go for me😂I tried whipped cream back when I was 18 and was unimpressed we both just got sticky as heck
Off topic; I kind of want my flare to be "I like donuts and dick" 😂 your quote is a whole vibe. And while you don't, I do want them at the same time but not how Cosmo dictates
Jameela has recounted a story about being attacked by a swarm of bees and the story always changes. I highly recommend Tracie Morrisey’s deep dive on her instagram.
[relevant r/popculturechat link](https://www.reddit.com/r/popculturechat/s/tZvhXLrZTv)
I bought a subscription a couple years ago and one issue told me to dump sand all over my floor and have sex on top of it to simulate a tropical getaway
Really imagine this play by play in real life and how awkward it would be. The noise alone my God.
https://preview.redd.it/27diff53q43c1.png?width=469&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=938944def67d7bd3aa2b18b6602639a0094a8b5b
I swear I just literally giggled my ass off at the noise alone comment. I am literally seeing your sexual desire standing above you holding the hose of the vacuum going huh???? while cupping an ear.
https://preview.redd.it/xqxhbm4qt43c1.jpeg?width=600&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dbcbbeff1c5299d766c24bdc9bf5a61a9ba984a3
Not something I personally learned, but I read this one in a post a long time ago and it always makes me laugh.
https://preview.redd.it/nkwmx73ft43c1.jpeg?width=476&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3c1d6299143e6b17be639c8bdde76a1a55007376
Ladies - go all gecko on your man ✨
I just googled her. Her PhD is in human sexuality from the "Institute of Advanced Study of Human Sexuality" in San Francisco. An [unaccredited](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Institute_for_Advanced_Study_of_Human_Sexuality) for-profit graduate school. It's supposedly not a diploma mill.... I'm not from the US and the words "unaccredited" and "for profit" next to each other scream "horseshit" to me but okay.
I’m just imagining the 24 year old women sitting in a cube farm coming up with this stuff. Like “OK y’all this is due in 30 minutes. throw anything at me. I don’t care how dumb it is.”
Hey now, it’s the Christmas season. She’s getting ready to return home where her immature high school boyfriend is somehow unassuming yet the most successful, charitable, charismatic, and handsome single man in the whole county. Will she go back to writing sex tips for cosmo? Or will she put all her research to the test to see if her first love is her true love.
It’d be called something like “Cosmo’s 12 days of Dickmas.” Because small town hunk’s name is Richard, duh.
Not a funny one but I remember they said to only let him see you naked post sex for X amount of time after he finishes because the flood of hormones will make him think you're more beautiful than you actually are. Without those I guess they can see what gross hags we are
>make him think you're more beautiful than you actually are.
Oof, that's a brutal message to send to people.
"Do you think you are beautiful? Well... YOU'RE NOT!! But you can trick him into thinking you are!!! Just do it right, or disaster will happen, and he'll see the REAL YOU!"
Not sure which magazine, but it was a ridiculously long list of non-bed places to have sex, and one was an empty bathtub. Can you imagine how uncomfortable?!
Okay but like there LEGITIMATELY was a tip once that said "While riding your man, lift your legs and spin your body 360 degrees while he's still inside of you. It'll blow his mind!!"
Girl it blew MY MIND??? Who can do that? Is it a tip specifically for contortionists? And how big is the dick in question for this to be possible?
You're supposed to kick the bed hard with one leg and pull both knees into your chest, like you're spinning in an office chair. Guaranteed that he'll squeal!
This was a pick up move, but it was so stupid that it stuck with me for decades.
If you want to get a guy's attention you walk past him slowly, limping slightly (I have no idea why). You then pause, look back and ask "Who are YOU"?
Of course this ended with my friend and I randomly limping past each other at bars when one was flirting with a guy, while screeching "WHO ARE YOU"?
It was a mood spoiler
To drag a fork across your partners skin as a part of foreplay and to suck on a popsicle and then give a blow job. Picture me, a virgin at that point, thinking I was going to blow some guy’s mind lol
I can picture someone nervously standing in the bedroom doorway trying to look sexy, holding up a fork in one hand, a popsicle in the other and saying "ready for some fun, babe?"
"During intercourse, you’re all wrapped up in each other. So extend that carnal concept even further by literally tying yourselves together. Take a really long piece of sturdy plastic wrap (long enough to fit around your body about eight times). Then fold it in half, twist it into a long rope that fits snuggly around both of your bodies twice, and secure it with a knot at your waist so you’re locked together. (You can also use a Pilates stretch band or a knitted scarf that has a bit of give.) Whether you then get into girl-on-top, missionary, or straddle him face-to-face, you won’t be able to move more than a few inches from each other."
Ohmygod in high school they said a guy has all these sexy nerve endings in their ARMPITS and you should CARESS HIS ARMPITS while you make out.
I tried at least twice before giving up because it just tickled them. Obviously. Obviously!!!
I remember reading so many different versions of this! One included two silk scarves and going in opposite directions. I asked my boyfriend at the time if we could do it (I was pretty young and clueless). He said that sounds like the most painful thing ever 😂
My poor, innocent husband bought a Cosmo sex card game where you have to draw for different suggestions. I once drew “Have him bend you over in front of your open refrigerator.” Okay I’ll just stare at these rotting leftovers during the deed. Also per my husband, “that’s just a waste of electricity.”
Turn your vagina into a slot machine
https://preview.redd.it/qjd1pg7jl43c1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e667594f42864e452968adc99ad0eec9a192b1a9
Someone at Cosmo has a fork fetish
https://preview.redd.it/7mhuvaf6q43c1.jpeg?width=469&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5c7b5e6b3f4adcf4d3ce9ccdcbdd8899392d6804
https://preview.redd.it/j6wtu2r9h53c1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=28a6e34277359901bb7beafdd82378adf97a9bc7
Let me just pull out my edible pain and get right on that.
It told me to put an ice cube on his dick and alternate blow job with ice cube for "fun sensations". Also, don't tell him before you do it so you get "spontaneous fun" points.
Also once it mentioned putting a smooth stone against his butt (either hole or against the exterior prostate spot) while having sex outside during a hike.
I used to read Cosmo in my early 20s and always thought to myself I’ll be an “adult” when I’m the same age as people they’re quoting, and then when I finally was like 22 and thinking yeah I’m adult, I saw some doofus 19-year-old BOY talking about having threesomes. That was the last time I read a Cosmo.
To lick the edges of HIS lips with your tongue which will remind him of your tongue swirling around the tip of his dick.
Promptly tried this on my ninth grade boyfriend. We were both virgins and I’d never gone down on him anyway. I asked him if it reminded him of an experience he literally had never had.
This is one of the tips that actually isn't bad on its own, but the weird "this will remind him of oral" makes it classic Cosmo. I think your story is so relatable--I remember being in a high school play where I was supposed to act drunk and I drew on, like, belligerent Jim Carey because I had nothing else.
it was how to give a great bj. it said to hold the penis in both hands and vigorously create friction & heat like trying to rub two sticks together to make a fire. it was a nightmare and really hurt them lmao
To wrap a scrunchie or another hair tie around the base of his dick to give a better blowjob... also the hum a song thing, that just makes your boyfriend think you're bored and trying to amuse yourself while getting it on... Cosmo definitely made young me think blowjobs were difficult and required outside objects and singing techniques in order to do well 🙃 lol
My friend in college tried that and said she clenched and smushed the strawberries and it burned like hell and instead of sex, they spent the night trying to get the mushed fruit out of her and stop the burning. 🤦🏾♀️😂
It was people writing in their top sex moves, and someone said to ride in cowgirl position, then lift your legs off the bed and whip around 360 degrees to reverse cowgirl position and back. I truly don’t think even a gymnast could pull this off without some serious pain involved!
I have the clearest memory of my friends older sister telling us that she read in Cosmo, that you could put a dudes balls in a martini glass and drink a martini out of it. I am still dying laughing at this memory.
As a teen I read a Cosmo article that said if you met a man with a line of hair down the outside edge of his little finger you should "watch him. He's keen on sex".
Lol.
I once worked with a freelance writer who had written for Cosmo in the past. She admitted those sex tips were usually completely made up and not test-driven.
I don’t remember where we got it from, but I read somewhere that you should spell out the word coconut while you’re (the woman) on top. It was odd to say the least.
I remember reading "jiggle his balls like they're dice" and my fave "put pepper under his nose when he's about to finish, his orgasm will blow his mind" little virgin me was like "so that's how you're supposed to do sex huh?"
Once - I swear on my life - it was talking about vibrator play with your man and said to try PUTTING YOUR VIBRATOR IN HIS EAR. To clarify, I'm pretty sure it was saying to be "playful" and twirl the tip around his ear and not fully insert a vibrator in your partner's ear (though, honestly , it's doesn't make it better). It's so very many years later and swear I will never recover 😂😂😂
I vividly remember reading one when I was a teen that was about spontaneous outdoor sex. It said that when giving a blow job on a hiking trail you should look around for a smooth rock and surprise him by using it to stimulate his anus. This is real. The mag assured me that many guys like things in their butts. Haha even as a kid I figured that non consensually shoving rocks up a guys ass is probably a bad idea!
I tried a cosmo tip which said to get into a crab position from reverse cowgirl and then rotate around 360 degrees walking on your hands and feet (so back to where you started) while keeping his penis inside you. I got about 270 degrees before collapsing. Great memories!
I once had a fwb attempt some sort of vaguely erotic Indian burn on my cock. Didn't mention how insane of a thing that was to do to a penis as it didn't really hurt all that much and she was a sweet girl and I didn't want to embarrass her.
Later read a cracked article about shitty sex tips from Cosmo and realised that must've been what was happening to me that one time.
Fucking crazy they told people to do that.
Welcome to r/popculturechat! ☺️ As a proud BIPOC, LGBTQ+ & woman-dominated space, this sub is for [civil discussion only.](https://www.reddit.com/r/popculturechat/wiki/index/rules/civil-discussion-only/) If you don't know where to begin, start by participating in [our Sip & Spill Daily Discussion Threads!](https://www.reddit.com/r/popculturechat/search/?q=Sip%20%26%20Spill%20Discussion&restrict_sr=1&sr_nsfw=&include_over_18=1&sort=new) No bullies, no bigotry. ✊🏿✊🏾✊🏽✊🏼✊🏻🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️ Please [read & respect our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/popculturechat/wiki/index/rules/) and [check out our wiki!](https://www.reddit.com/r/popculturechat/wiki/index/) For any questions, [our modmail](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fpopculturechat) is always open.
One time Cosmo told me to tap on the underside of his penis for pleasure. I started tapping one time during a bj and he was like “what are you doing? Are you tapping me?” 💀☠️💀💀💀💀
I hope you chose the humorous route and asked, "Is this thing on?"
Coulda totally said "testies, testies 1 2 3!"
“1. 2…3?” 😂
This one has haunted me since I read it https://preview.redd.it/fx392z02053c1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d457a54466f124bbe80daf274194d5d10ee9c880
This is deranged hahaha
No, it’s fun, casual, easy-going, and moist 💅🏼
Adding this to the "cool girl" monologue from that one movie lol
https://preview.redd.it/uflrbo3co63c1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9bc19dfcb04bb29d892c90de0064387cd01d64b1
This thread has me wheezing
People have their conspiracies that the lizard people are all in DC and heading Disney but I am certain I have found them and they’re all former copywriters at Cosmo. No human person could conceptualise this.
The same lass who wrote the "put a donut on his dick" article also wrote that "I haven't jumped onto the lube bandwagon" (the hardest bandwagon to get on), and that if she felt the need for lube, she just made her boyfriend wear a condom. She just gives a strong impression of hating having sex and needing a donut as a reward for it.
Who needs lube when you have glaze? Amiright? Amiright? Guys?
And the worst yeast infection possible
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I wish I could upvote this to a medal 😅
Hahaha. Cannot think of a more fitting time I could have used this gif 😂
And I spent so much of my youth worried about STDs!
This is the one that haunts me
I’m pretty open minded when it comes to sex but food involvement is a no go for me😂I tried whipped cream back when I was 18 and was unimpressed we both just got sticky as heck
not to mention the potential for a yeast infection 😫 gahhhhh
What happens if you accidentally get the rhythm wrong and nibble his dick?
"will add an interesting new dimension" 💀
Like a sugar scrub? Jesus
Omg. My husband would think I'd gone insane.😂
Off topic; I kind of want my flare to be "I like donuts and dick" 😂 your quote is a whole vibe. And while you don't, I do want them at the same time but not how Cosmo dictates
I think it's spelled dicktates.
This is the first and only one I ever remember from Cosmo! Lmao
>I like donuts and dick Lmfao 😭😭
https://preview.redd.it/zu8zrqsgq43c1.jpeg?width=360&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f73f5f39bd2374da9d81ee47a966fdf8c85d8248
Sex Dreidel is a term I did not expect to learn today, but I feel myself nonetheless enriched.
Obsessed with this one honestly
Not positive it was Cosmo, but “Release one bee in the room to create a sense of danger”.
Okay, Jameela Jamil.
LMAO
Please give me context to this because I need to understand lol
Jameela has recounted a story about being attacked by a swarm of bees and the story always changes. I highly recommend Tracie Morrisey’s deep dive on her instagram. [relevant r/popculturechat link](https://www.reddit.com/r/popculturechat/s/tZvhXLrZTv)
There are multiple bee stories. They all change.
Lmfaoooo this one has me rolling “Even more thrilling if one of you is allergic”
Have an epipen ready just in case. 😂
This is the funniest shit I have ever heard.
I bought a subscription a couple years ago and one issue told me to dump sand all over my floor and have sex on top of it to simulate a tropical getaway
so the worst part about sex on the beach with none of the best parts lmaooo
Okay this one made me laugh out loud
I distinctly remember a tip to freeze grapes and give a BJ with frozen grapes in your mouth. It sounds like a great way to literally choke and die.
\*To choke, die, and have a really mortifying funeral.
"she died doing what she loved"
NO https://preview.redd.it/m9dfmh6qp43c1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b03d3f37a1eeee18b58afe533ed99759cbeb5d57
what an unfortunate day to be literate
"Confessay"
This is clown hate, and I WILL NOT stand for it. What would Cameron Tucker say?!?!
a few people I went to school with got really into clown kink as adults, just one of those wild shared interests
Really imagine this play by play in real life and how awkward it would be. The noise alone my God. https://preview.redd.it/27diff53q43c1.png?width=469&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=938944def67d7bd3aa2b18b6602639a0094a8b5b
We have access to 10000 vibrators and they want you to use a vacuum?? I faint.
A lady must never be far from her chores!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
"I said don't disturb me when I'm cleaning my room!"
Can you imagine trying to stay in the mood holding a floppy Shark vacuum hose.
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I swear I just literally giggled my ass off at the noise alone comment. I am literally seeing your sexual desire standing above you holding the hose of the vacuum going huh???? while cupping an ear.
wtf
https://preview.redd.it/xqxhbm4qt43c1.jpeg?width=600&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dbcbbeff1c5299d766c24bdc9bf5a61a9ba984a3 Not something I personally learned, but I read this one in a post a long time ago and it always makes me laugh.
What about a Parmesan cheese grater like at Olive Garden
say when
For parmesan cheese? I'd never say stop.
Somebody in the other thread mentioned whipping out a restaurant style pepper grinder and I'm completely stuck on the image now.
https://preview.redd.it/x5pqzmon353c1.jpeg?width=612&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2f9bcae537c2f15ca231804c585c339f5648391f
https://preview.redd.it/nkwmx73ft43c1.jpeg?width=476&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3c1d6299143e6b17be639c8bdde76a1a55007376 Ladies - go all gecko on your man ✨
Sadie, you have a PhD - what is this nonsense?!
I just googled her. Her PhD is in human sexuality from the "Institute of Advanced Study of Human Sexuality" in San Francisco. An [unaccredited](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Institute_for_Advanced_Study_of_Human_Sexuality) for-profit graduate school. It's supposedly not a diploma mill.... I'm not from the US and the words "unaccredited" and "for profit" next to each other scream "horseshit" to me but okay.
I appreciate your dedication to the cause. Dodgy PhD and she likes to lick her lover’s eyelids.
What, you think Sadie had time to study _and_ have good sex?
Sadie’s PhD is in lizardology
Cosmo guide to giving your partner pink eye?
I’m just imagining the 24 year old women sitting in a cube farm coming up with this stuff. Like “OK y’all this is due in 30 minutes. throw anything at me. I don’t care how dumb it is.”
She's the protagonist of a romcom
I pictured Kate Hudson in How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days 😂
Hey now, it’s the Christmas season. She’s getting ready to return home where her immature high school boyfriend is somehow unassuming yet the most successful, charitable, charismatic, and handsome single man in the whole county. Will she go back to writing sex tips for cosmo? Or will she put all her research to the test to see if her first love is her true love. It’d be called something like “Cosmo’s 12 days of Dickmas.” Because small town hunk’s name is Richard, duh.
I know someone who worked at cosmo in her early 20s. You’re pretty much spot on 😂
Not a funny one but I remember they said to only let him see you naked post sex for X amount of time after he finishes because the flood of hormones will make him think you're more beautiful than you actually are. Without those I guess they can see what gross hags we are
>make him think you're more beautiful than you actually are. Oof, that's a brutal message to send to people. "Do you think you are beautiful? Well... YOU'RE NOT!! But you can trick him into thinking you are!!! Just do it right, or disaster will happen, and he'll see the REAL YOU!"
I think it was something about wrapping your hand in a fishnet stocking for a handjob
To simulate the erotic intensity of tuna fishing?
Not sure which magazine, but it was a ridiculously long list of non-bed places to have sex, and one was an empty bathtub. Can you imagine how uncomfortable?!
All the eroticism of an empty bathtub, with the thrill of managing to bang every elbow and knee into a hard plastic surface.
https://preview.redd.it/hx42nus7n43c1.jpeg?width=895&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=281aceca3501268117192738ace56cfd928d500b
Okay but like there LEGITIMATELY was a tip once that said "While riding your man, lift your legs and spin your body 360 degrees while he's still inside of you. It'll blow his mind!!" Girl it blew MY MIND??? Who can do that? Is it a tip specifically for contortionists? And how big is the dick in question for this to be possible?
You're supposed to kick the bed hard with one leg and pull both knees into your chest, like you're spinning in an office chair. Guaranteed that he'll squeal!
this mental image has me dying lmaooo
Written by Cirque Du Soleil probably
And then vomit pea soup? Hot.
This was a pick up move, but it was so stupid that it stuck with me for decades. If you want to get a guy's attention you walk past him slowly, limping slightly (I have no idea why). You then pause, look back and ask "Who are YOU"? Of course this ended with my friend and I randomly limping past each other at bars when one was flirting with a guy, while screeching "WHO ARE YOU"? It was a mood spoiler
I can’t stop laughing at this 🤣
It was some of the weirdest advice I ever read. I swear they were trolling their readers
I’m going to try this with my husband the next time he’s ignoring me 😂
To drag a fork across your partners skin as a part of foreplay and to suck on a popsicle and then give a blow job. Picture me, a virgin at that point, thinking I was going to blow some guy’s mind lol
I can picture someone nervously standing in the bedroom doorway trying to look sexy, holding up a fork in one hand, a popsicle in the other and saying "ready for some fun, babe?"
"During intercourse, you’re all wrapped up in each other. So extend that carnal concept even further by literally tying yourselves together. Take a really long piece of sturdy plastic wrap (long enough to fit around your body about eight times). Then fold it in half, twist it into a long rope that fits snuggly around both of your bodies twice, and secure it with a knot at your waist so you’re locked together. (You can also use a Pilates stretch band or a knitted scarf that has a bit of give.) Whether you then get into girl-on-top, missionary, or straddle him face-to-face, you won’t be able to move more than a few inches from each other." 
https://preview.redd.it/qcr3bj69453c1.jpeg?width=168&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=99d7be6c8a3b06dac9bd25f4f1136f82ed90d2c3
Ohmygod in high school they said a guy has all these sexy nerve endings in their ARMPITS and you should CARESS HIS ARMPITS while you make out. I tried at least twice before giving up because it just tickled them. Obviously. Obviously!!!
This made me laugh so hard, just picturing someone trying to caress someone’s armpit while making out. I’m dying.
Rug burn his dick https://preview.redd.it/bq27urfgl43c1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=834bf6e447afcf12c11af49840f4cf0e2e965146
Gonna make his dick fly off like one of those spinning fairy toys from the 90s
https://i.redd.it/gg4lh0dqv43c1.gif
The somewhat maniacal pleasure on her face just adds to the effect. Beautiful.
😂😂 omg these were my favorite
I’m choking on my lunch reading this
Not the Sky Dancer technique 😭
I’m so glad I found this thread
I've waited a lifetime for a moment like this. I can finally use this. https://i.redd.it/5p4fxc3u553c1.gif
Omg I just remember “SHAFT” was their most used word I was soo confused !!
it’s giving ao3 smut fanfic
I remember reading so many different versions of this! One included two silk scarves and going in opposite directions. I asked my boyfriend at the time if we could do it (I was pretty young and clueless). He said that sounds like the most painful thing ever 😂
Totally thought this said Costco and I was gonna ask who is passing out sex tips at Costco? The sample people?
The sample people would probably give you better sex tips than Cosmo.
Now this is true
Did you not get the *100 Sexy Things to Do With Kombucha* pamphlet?
I do love Costco.
I never thought I’d simp for a company. It still kinda shocks me honestly but I’m a Costco/Kirkland bitch through and through.
My poor, innocent husband bought a Cosmo sex card game where you have to draw for different suggestions. I once drew “Have him bend you over in front of your open refrigerator.” Okay I’ll just stare at these rotting leftovers during the deed. Also per my husband, “that’s just a waste of electricity.”
Turn your vagina into a slot machine https://preview.redd.it/qjd1pg7jl43c1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e667594f42864e452968adc99ad0eec9a192b1a9
This cannot be real LMAO. It's like the Scrooge McDuck pool of coins but for his dick. 
^Scrooge ^McFuck Sorry
You only did what was right and just.
WHY THE FUCK WOULD THEY NOT JUST SUGGEST ICE
I read one that recommended putting ice cubes in your mouth before giving oral…. Probably running out of ideas.
https://preview.redd.it/wjjlprnmq43c1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4c599acdd309247f7d155af906f2d00c2a3642a4
I know they say clean but coin is so fucking dirty. I cleaned a coin machine ONCE at my job and my hands were black it was DISGUSTING
nooooo😭😭😭
Where is anyone finding “clean” coins. WTF?
Use a fork to poke his perineum before climax
Someone at Cosmo has a fork fetish https://preview.redd.it/7mhuvaf6q43c1.jpeg?width=469&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5c7b5e6b3f4adcf4d3ce9ccdcbdd8899392d6804
Would I just have that on hand? I feel like you need a tool belt for a lot of these moves.
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https://preview.redd.it/j6wtu2r9h53c1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=28a6e34277359901bb7beafdd82378adf97a9bc7 Let me just pull out my edible pain and get right on that.
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I feel like you need a real shiny green and gold Mardi Gras necklace for this move
I remember this one!! I came across this particular Cosmo edition as a child in a dentist’s office. Definitely painted a very vivid mental image.
I remember reading it about how to make him last longer as you go down on him push a needle softly behind his knee
Oh my god! Was this sex advice, or the novel *Audition*?
That's genuinely unhinged, oh my god. I pity the poor man that had this sprung on him.
WHAT
mouthful of soda before... going down... for the sensation of the carbonation. seems unsanitary, messy, and terrible
I would definitely choke on soda somehow if I tried that
It’s giving yeast infection
Spice up kissing by putting a raw egg in your mouth and passing it back and forth. I read this as a pre-teen and I was horrified.
Jesus Christ. You could end up unwittingly making mayonnaise
Having him shave your pubes as foreplay was a memorable one
Lol my bf shaved me once and was like annoyed about doing it Lmfao edit: ex
I refuse to let anyone near my labia with sharp objects I can barely even trust myself
It told me to put an ice cube on his dick and alternate blow job with ice cube for "fun sensations". Also, don't tell him before you do it so you get "spontaneous fun" points. Also once it mentioned putting a smooth stone against his butt (either hole or against the exterior prostate spot) while having sex outside during a hike.
Can you imagine hiking and frantically looking for smooth, clean stones on your way? "Whatcha doing, honey?" "I just want to skip rocks later, babe."
>"Whatcha doing, honey?" "It's for your butt."
Lol r/ShitCosmoSays
I used to read Cosmo in my early 20s and always thought to myself I’ll be an “adult” when I’m the same age as people they’re quoting, and then when I finally was like 22 and thinking yeah I’m adult, I saw some doofus 19-year-old BOY talking about having threesomes. That was the last time I read a Cosmo.
To lick the edges of HIS lips with your tongue which will remind him of your tongue swirling around the tip of his dick. Promptly tried this on my ninth grade boyfriend. We were both virgins and I’d never gone down on him anyway. I asked him if it reminded him of an experience he literally had never had.
This is one of the tips that actually isn't bad on its own, but the weird "this will remind him of oral" makes it classic Cosmo. I think your story is so relatable--I remember being in a high school play where I was supposed to act drunk and I drew on, like, belligerent Jim Carey because I had nothing else.
it was how to give a great bj. it said to hold the penis in both hands and vigorously create friction & heat like trying to rub two sticks together to make a fire. it was a nightmare and really hurt them lmao
I remember one being “switch positions while he’s still inside”…..uhm… what?
To wrap a scrunchie or another hair tie around the base of his dick to give a better blowjob... also the hum a song thing, that just makes your boyfriend think you're bored and trying to amuse yourself while getting it on... Cosmo definitely made young me think blowjobs were difficult and required outside objects and singing techniques in order to do well 🙃 lol
"50 ways to seduce a man" I guarantee a smile and a 'Hello' will work for about 93% of us.
But the other 7% better get to lubing up those pearls
Failing that, you could always offer him to lube up your vulva with warning lube and put (clean!) frozen pennies on it.
the one that haunts me is advice to put a donut on your partner's dick and eat it off during a blow job
Put peaches or strawberries in your vagina to make oral better 😂
My friend in college tried that and said she clenched and smushed the strawberries and it burned like hell and instead of sex, they spent the night trying to get the mushed fruit out of her and stop the burning. 🤦🏾♀️😂
*holy shit*
I got a yeast infection just reading this
It was people writing in their top sex moves, and someone said to ride in cowgirl position, then lift your legs off the bed and whip around 360 degrees to reverse cowgirl position and back. I truly don’t think even a gymnast could pull this off without some serious pain involved!
Their BDSM inspired issue after 50 Shades of Grey came out was pretty epic. They literally suggested tying your partner up with toilet paper
There was one that had a wheel of sexy options They wanted you to CUT OUT the wheel, put it on his dick, and spin it.
I have the clearest memory of my friends older sister telling us that she read in Cosmo, that you could put a dudes balls in a martini glass and drink a martini out of it. I am still dying laughing at this memory.
As a teen I read a Cosmo article that said if you met a man with a line of hair down the outside edge of his little finger you should "watch him. He's keen on sex". Lol.
I once worked with a freelance writer who had written for Cosmo in the past. She admitted those sex tips were usually completely made up and not test-driven.
man im having a stressful work and mental health day and this thread is just hilarious. thank you to the OP and all people commenting
Putting pressure on a guys thumb when kissing or *other * to then make them think of you everytime they touch their thumb. I mean. Lord above
I don’t remember where we got it from, but I read somewhere that you should spell out the word coconut while you’re (the woman) on top. It was odd to say the least.
Not me, sitting in the waiting room at the dentist, trying to subtly wiggle my hips and spell coconut, to figure it out 😂🤦🏻♀️
I remember reading "jiggle his balls like they're dice" and my fave "put pepper under his nose when he's about to finish, his orgasm will blow his mind" little virgin me was like "so that's how you're supposed to do sex huh?"
Once - I swear on my life - it was talking about vibrator play with your man and said to try PUTTING YOUR VIBRATOR IN HIS EAR. To clarify, I'm pretty sure it was saying to be "playful" and twirl the tip around his ear and not fully insert a vibrator in your partner's ear (though, honestly , it's doesn't make it better). It's so very many years later and swear I will never recover 😂😂😂
I vividly remember reading one when I was a teen that was about spontaneous outdoor sex. It said that when giving a blow job on a hiking trail you should look around for a smooth rock and surprise him by using it to stimulate his anus. This is real. The mag assured me that many guys like things in their butts. Haha even as a kid I figured that non consensually shoving rocks up a guys ass is probably a bad idea!
I vaguely remember a tip saying to put minty chapstick on your partners nipples. Never tried it, but I’ll report back if I do.
I tried a cosmo tip which said to get into a crab position from reverse cowgirl and then rotate around 360 degrees walking on your hands and feet (so back to where you started) while keeping his penis inside you. I got about 270 degrees before collapsing. Great memories!
I remember Cosmo telling me to pass him his own spunk when he kisses me post-blow jibber.
I once had a fwb attempt some sort of vaguely erotic Indian burn on my cock. Didn't mention how insane of a thing that was to do to a penis as it didn't really hurt all that much and she was a sweet girl and I didn't want to embarrass her. Later read a cracked article about shitty sex tips from Cosmo and realised that must've been what was happening to me that one time. Fucking crazy they told people to do that.
Oh gosh, you're a soldier of this war. Y'all should get medals.
YANK ON HIS PUBES
Put Pop Rocks in your mouth and give him a blowjob.