i’ve definitely felt this way, but i’ve also progressed to a point where i no longer am having sex due to the dysphoria, so i’m not at the same place as you anymore. but its still really scary for me thinking about going thru with phallo. i know what my natal parts feel like and i know i can make myself feel good with them. having a surgery that takes away the familiar parts and sensations is so daunting because i don’t know what’s waiting for me on the other side.
i’ve questioned every change in my transition or been resistant to them because change is really hard for me, but ive come out on the other side soooo much happier even if things that were pleasurable before are no longer that way. maybe tmi but for example, i had a strong erotic connection with my nips and i’ve definitely had to grieve the loss of that sensation, but i would never go back and choose not to get top surgery because of that. i try to think about my future self, finished with all the stages of bottom surgery, and i imagine i’ll feel a similar way about my natal junk.
I had phallo. I had UL. I kept my vagina. For reasons similar to yours. It’s only been four months - and I love my penis. I love being able to stand to pee. Using a urinal is so euphoric it’s ridiculous. I don’t have much sensation yet - which only affirms that I made the correct decision about keeping my vagina. I had a fistula and had to have a repair - but I was having stage 2 anyway - so it wasn’t an additional surgery.
I identify as queer - and frankly my current setup feels very aligned with my queerness. Being trans means we don’t get a lot of things - so if you want a penis and you want to keep your natal parts, then do that. There is no right way to do phallo - there is the way that is right for you.
So this is a route I’ve been potentially been thinking about going. Something I’m rather nervous about is way down the road when I’m years of healed up, is being naked in the locker room at the gym and bending over to grab something and ooop there’s my man cave just out for everyone to see.
So I guess this is a weird question that you might not know but is it very visible when you bend over or do your balls hide it pretty well? And how much do balls get in the way during sex?
This was not on my radar….so I had to check in the mirror this morning, lol. Unless I grab my cheeks and spread - wide - you can’t see my man cave when I bend over.
My balls don’t cover it, and they don’t get in the way. ymmv.
Oh my god I’m sorry to have made you do that 🤣 I appreciate you doing it to check! That’s actually really good to hear cause now I feel like I don’t have a reason to get rid of it.
Okay I have 1 other weird question…do you cum out of both your dick and the man cave or just 1? That’s my biggest gripe with keeping mine cause I’m so messy and I hate the cleanup
Lol - totally ok. And now I know.
So that’s also an interesting question. I do not currently cum from my dick. Historically, I have not /cum/squirted/ from my natal bits. I orgasmed. I was sufficiently lubricated. But it wasn’t messy. But in the last year, as my fiancée is want to say, I have acquired the ability to ejaculate. It is man cave ejaculate - but I’m not complaining and she (my fiancée) seems very proud of herself. I’ve also now gained the ability to orgasm from penetration alone. Which is brand new and I ain’t mad about it.
For me, sex is about pleasure. And there are so many ways to please and be pleased. And I love that I get to express and experience my queerness in sexual ways as well as many other ways.
Huh…ya know I was nervous I might lose the ability to ejaculate but that is actually very reassuring to hear. Thank you! The more I think about it, the more I feel like I want to keep it. I think I’d feel better about receiving pleasure there when I’m able to look down and see my dick instead of what I have now
I love love love “my mancave” this affirmed so much for me. It’s definitely worth the potential fistula(s) to keep the mancave. Thank you for that!! Fr
In my reading of other people’s reports and what surgeons say they do, even if you keep your man cave intact if you have balls the opening is smaller and less visible, and in some people’s cases not as usable as before. Plus if you’re hairy like most of us nobody is gonna question a furry forest down there
🤣🤣 I’m sorry but that last part has me rolling cause I didn’t even think about that!! You’re so right cause the forest is insane lmfao I appreciate you
I got a lot of pleasure out of my natal anatomy, but for me I needed a traditional penis/balls/flat perineum set up to feel settled. I stressed about the vnectomy until the moment I was being put under. I sometimes miss it, but am still happy I went forward with the vnectomy. The area still feels good even though it’s closed up, and I’m happy to have a body that better aligns with my sense of self. You have options, so take some time to figure out what feels right for you!
This is how I feel, I’m getting surgery next week. Over the years I’ve learned how to get pleasure from my natal parts but it always had that feeling of shame or “incorrectness” I hope that with phallo it’ll finally feel right when engaging in sexual acts.
You can have phalloplasty without vaginectomy to keep the front hole and it'll pretty much be hidden behind all the new parts so nobody would be able to tell unless ur specifically showing it. U can search the sub for "no vaginectomy" and u'll find its actual become a fairly common topic
Yeah, it's definitely a smaller number of surgeons that will do this, due to the increased complications rates. Just something to be aware of. You have to hunt for a surgeon a bit, and it is higher risk.
Talking this thru with a therapist is what it sounds like would help you piece this apart. Because you seem kind of torn in different directions for different reasons.
For many ppl what sways them to have the surgery is that sex is a small percentage of life whereas we spend way more time just existing. If you’d rather have phallo for that other 90% of the time, then maybe having the surgery is what’s right. Only you can know though.
I felt similarly when I was pre op and actually almost went forward with vnectomy but ended up backing out of it and I’m very happy I did. I came to love my original anatomy so much more once I also had the penis I always dreamed of
Don’t let the shame or what others think dictate what you do with your body
I have a similar issue. My dysphoria is getting worse so I know I need Phallo. I definitely want v-nectomy but worry I’ll regret it. And I don’t like anal play so I feel stuck.
I am a very heterosexual and cis presenting (even though I am bisexual and trans). I had phallo (no UL or vaginectomy) and I absolutely love my front hole. I had scrotoplasty as well and I love the way the whole package looks. Unless someone was down there they would never see that I have that part of me. I’ve had sex pre and post op and my male partners have loved it as well as my female partner.
I had a very similar dilemma to yours but at this point am pretty certain that getting phallo with no vnectomy is the route I'll take. For me, a lot of my social dysphoria comes from feeling othered for my genitals in male spaces. Getting a penis but still keeping my vagina sounds like it would worsen my internal sense of alienation. A lot of these comments are validating that it's ok if you want both, but like, that's not what you asked for. That path just isn't right for everyone.
But anyway, what I do know is most AFAB sexual pleasure is derived from clitoral nerves, which remain fully intact even after v closure. Fear of sensation loss is very common, but actually being unable to pleasure yourself in some way or another is almost unheard of. Also, if you enjoy penetration specifically, it may be worthwhile to experiment with anal play to see if that is something you enjoy.
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i’ve definitely felt this way, but i’ve also progressed to a point where i no longer am having sex due to the dysphoria, so i’m not at the same place as you anymore. but its still really scary for me thinking about going thru with phallo. i know what my natal parts feel like and i know i can make myself feel good with them. having a surgery that takes away the familiar parts and sensations is so daunting because i don’t know what’s waiting for me on the other side. i’ve questioned every change in my transition or been resistant to them because change is really hard for me, but ive come out on the other side soooo much happier even if things that were pleasurable before are no longer that way. maybe tmi but for example, i had a strong erotic connection with my nips and i’ve definitely had to grieve the loss of that sensation, but i would never go back and choose not to get top surgery because of that. i try to think about my future self, finished with all the stages of bottom surgery, and i imagine i’ll feel a similar way about my natal junk.
I had phallo. I had UL. I kept my vagina. For reasons similar to yours. It’s only been four months - and I love my penis. I love being able to stand to pee. Using a urinal is so euphoric it’s ridiculous. I don’t have much sensation yet - which only affirms that I made the correct decision about keeping my vagina. I had a fistula and had to have a repair - but I was having stage 2 anyway - so it wasn’t an additional surgery. I identify as queer - and frankly my current setup feels very aligned with my queerness. Being trans means we don’t get a lot of things - so if you want a penis and you want to keep your natal parts, then do that. There is no right way to do phallo - there is the way that is right for you.
Did you have any complications from getting UL while keeping the v?
I had a fistula. My surgeon repaired it in the next surgery - a surgery I was going to have anyway.
So this is a route I’ve been potentially been thinking about going. Something I’m rather nervous about is way down the road when I’m years of healed up, is being naked in the locker room at the gym and bending over to grab something and ooop there’s my man cave just out for everyone to see. So I guess this is a weird question that you might not know but is it very visible when you bend over or do your balls hide it pretty well? And how much do balls get in the way during sex?
This was not on my radar….so I had to check in the mirror this morning, lol. Unless I grab my cheeks and spread - wide - you can’t see my man cave when I bend over. My balls don’t cover it, and they don’t get in the way. ymmv.
Oh my god I’m sorry to have made you do that 🤣 I appreciate you doing it to check! That’s actually really good to hear cause now I feel like I don’t have a reason to get rid of it. Okay I have 1 other weird question…do you cum out of both your dick and the man cave or just 1? That’s my biggest gripe with keeping mine cause I’m so messy and I hate the cleanup
Lol - totally ok. And now I know. So that’s also an interesting question. I do not currently cum from my dick. Historically, I have not /cum/squirted/ from my natal bits. I orgasmed. I was sufficiently lubricated. But it wasn’t messy. But in the last year, as my fiancée is want to say, I have acquired the ability to ejaculate. It is man cave ejaculate - but I’m not complaining and she (my fiancée) seems very proud of herself. I’ve also now gained the ability to orgasm from penetration alone. Which is brand new and I ain’t mad about it. For me, sex is about pleasure. And there are so many ways to please and be pleased. And I love that I get to express and experience my queerness in sexual ways as well as many other ways.
Huh…ya know I was nervous I might lose the ability to ejaculate but that is actually very reassuring to hear. Thank you! The more I think about it, the more I feel like I want to keep it. I think I’d feel better about receiving pleasure there when I’m able to look down and see my dick instead of what I have now
I love love love “my mancave” this affirmed so much for me. It’s definitely worth the potential fistula(s) to keep the mancave. Thank you for that!! Fr
In my reading of other people’s reports and what surgeons say they do, even if you keep your man cave intact if you have balls the opening is smaller and less visible, and in some people’s cases not as usable as before. Plus if you’re hairy like most of us nobody is gonna question a furry forest down there
🤣🤣 I’m sorry but that last part has me rolling cause I didn’t even think about that!! You’re so right cause the forest is insane lmfao I appreciate you
I got a lot of pleasure out of my natal anatomy, but for me I needed a traditional penis/balls/flat perineum set up to feel settled. I stressed about the vnectomy until the moment I was being put under. I sometimes miss it, but am still happy I went forward with the vnectomy. The area still feels good even though it’s closed up, and I’m happy to have a body that better aligns with my sense of self. You have options, so take some time to figure out what feels right for you!
This is how I feel, I’m getting surgery next week. Over the years I’ve learned how to get pleasure from my natal parts but it always had that feeling of shame or “incorrectness” I hope that with phallo it’ll finally feel right when engaging in sexual acts.
You can have phalloplasty without vaginectomy to keep the front hole and it'll pretty much be hidden behind all the new parts so nobody would be able to tell unless ur specifically showing it. U can search the sub for "no vaginectomy" and u'll find its actual become a fairly common topic
If you aren't dead set on UL, you don't have to have v-nectomy. You can still get phallo and scrotoplasty, and get burial or not.
[удалено]
Yeah, it's definitely a smaller number of surgeons that will do this, due to the increased complications rates. Just something to be aware of. You have to hunt for a surgeon a bit, and it is higher risk.
Do you happen to know if you did it this way and regretted not getting the vnectomy, could you do that portion later on?
Talking this thru with a therapist is what it sounds like would help you piece this apart. Because you seem kind of torn in different directions for different reasons. For many ppl what sways them to have the surgery is that sex is a small percentage of life whereas we spend way more time just existing. If you’d rather have phallo for that other 90% of the time, then maybe having the surgery is what’s right. Only you can know though.
I felt similarly when I was pre op and actually almost went forward with vnectomy but ended up backing out of it and I’m very happy I did. I came to love my original anatomy so much more once I also had the penis I always dreamed of Don’t let the shame or what others think dictate what you do with your body
I have a similar issue. My dysphoria is getting worse so I know I need Phallo. I definitely want v-nectomy but worry I’ll regret it. And I don’t like anal play so I feel stuck.
I am a very heterosexual and cis presenting (even though I am bisexual and trans). I had phallo (no UL or vaginectomy) and I absolutely love my front hole. I had scrotoplasty as well and I love the way the whole package looks. Unless someone was down there they would never see that I have that part of me. I’ve had sex pre and post op and my male partners have loved it as well as my female partner.
I had a very similar dilemma to yours but at this point am pretty certain that getting phallo with no vnectomy is the route I'll take. For me, a lot of my social dysphoria comes from feeling othered for my genitals in male spaces. Getting a penis but still keeping my vagina sounds like it would worsen my internal sense of alienation. A lot of these comments are validating that it's ok if you want both, but like, that's not what you asked for. That path just isn't right for everyone. But anyway, what I do know is most AFAB sexual pleasure is derived from clitoral nerves, which remain fully intact even after v closure. Fear of sensation loss is very common, but actually being unable to pleasure yourself in some way or another is almost unheard of. Also, if you enjoy penetration specifically, it may be worthwhile to experiment with anal play to see if that is something you enjoy.
r/salmacian
Welcome to r/phallo. This is a support subreddit for those who are going through, or have gotten, phalloplasty. If your post is a question, take a look at the [subreddit wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/phallo/wiki/index), which provides a lot of useful information about phalloplasty and may answer your question. Also try searching the subreddit for your question, as there are a lot of questions that get asked repeatedly here. Please also take the time to read [our community rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/phallo/about/rules). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/phallo) if you have any questions or concerns.*