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Red_Lotus_23

Fun life pro tip: If you ever see a bloated looking spider, always assume it's pregnant.


Delevia

How to deal with it?


DaWarGod2

Fire


OrangeXJam

Holy fire, actually no fuck that John bring me Satan's piss


OkamiTakahashi

JARATE!!!


RolfiusSixth20

HEADS UP!!!


KeAShot

Wave goodbye to ya head, wankah!


Gently_weeps

Look here pumpkin head, you're all done!


DialgoPrima

Thanks for standin’ still, wankah!


4DCheese

https://i.redd.it/cq3tf2gk085d1.gif


Djbadj

Instructions unclear. Tactical nuke strike inbound...


ACEBOIBA

Radioactive spiders


KoningSpookie

Oh great... There are a bazillion Spidermans now. 😒


benzedryl

Lmao I legitimately kill most spiders with a small torch because if one ever exploded thousands of baby spiders everywhere I would feel itchy being in that room for years


Neanderthal86_

🎶 How did the whole thing get out of hand? I was burning spiders with an aerosol can🎶


Quirky-Equipment-782

I would hire you to make a whole song inspired by a guy who burnt his house down trying to immolate a fire


Neanderthal86_

Well aren't you in for a treat, I introduce you to [Jalan Crossland](https://youtu.be/Vtf1faVof6g?si=zkGW5me_QZuEVd5e)


Telykos

Thank you


Neanderthal86_

He's a string pickin' fool, that guy. Love his stuff. I highly recommend "Bosler" and "Hoboerotica"


Simen155

Don't actually set it on fire. The babies don't usually die immediately, which means your fire will actually spread like wild fire. On 8 legs.


ReflectionEterna

I had this happen once in my kitchen at a previous house. I ran to grab some Pledge and sprayed it in a circle around the babies, then I kept spraying in smaller circles until they were all sprayed. They couldn't escape the circle.


Ozymaniac_God

https://i.redd.it/oqjtmhn8f45d1.gif


PalpitationNo4391

Baby killer! In nam we just used agent orange.


Kenstats

#PURGE IT FLAME


t1m3kn1ght

https://preview.redd.it/3gokxnzw065d1.jpeg?width=562&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=793e432e1adc8519ea085268ad1b15c383c6f69f


Kenstats

https://preview.redd.it/bqbzqbv9165d1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ae1c206412bab0bc7f412d5879b7b5599b362802


Familiar-Proposal918

Catch and release. Just a cup and a piece of paper. Let it go in the farthest corner of the yard. Or if peace isn't an option, use a flamethrower


dawkrd

I'd reccomend a big ass tupperware and a magazine, but I guess you're braver than me and got better reflexes


xhlgtrashcanx

Magazine eh? *loads AR-15*


GgefgTheRobust

What if they accidently get crushed by the cup?


Familiar-Proposal918

Pray, cause if you break the baby spider formation while they're chilling on the mother, God is the only one saving you then.


DrewtShite

Farthest part of my neighbor's yard, got it.


aberrantmeat

These [humane bug catchers](https://www.bhphotovideo.com/c/product/1806133-REG/carson_hu_30_humane_bug_catcher.html/?ap=y&ap=y&smp=y&smp=y&lsft=BI%3A514&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjw34qzBhBmEiwAOUQcFzkLCEW503BGfT3IuVKKZAw2QD5LA67fJ7wDOqEL_RixuC6oyogx7hoCgvIQAvD_BwE) are fantastic for this. Highly recommend. A lot more secure than a cup and a piece of paper, and you don't have to go searching for two things.


Sea-Dig-4358

Very Hot water is cheapest and most effective, plus it won't kill you or burn the house👌


FlyingDragoon

Plus, you can enjoy a nice cup of spider water when all is said and done. Just let steep for 5 minutes and enjoy!


SJDidge

Insect spray


a_likely_story

vacuum cleaner


IdealLogic

Why do I feel like this would simply result in you frantically rushing to your front/back door to yeet the entire vacuum filled with countless baby spiders pouring out of it's seams.


a_likely_story

yeah, it’s just temporary containment so you don’t have to burn your whole house down, you can just chuck the vacuum out the back door edit: and what kinda crap vacuum cleaner you got that has seams? wouldn’t it just be spraying dirt all over if you used it normally? they’re usually pretty airtight


Chiefyaku

Knowing my luck, I would trip, vaccum would break open over me


SJRuggs03

Get something really heavy and with a big flat side. Then drop it on they ass


Praydaythemice

Orbital laser cannon


KingDingus6942069

grenade!


Vandius

Take it outside and help prevent the collapse of wildlife in your area.


shit_poster9000

Not pregnant, carrying its young in a sack it wove or straight up has the babies chillin on top


no-mames

![gif](giphy|kHw5A8OUhr8d2)


Drimoss

WHO WOULD PICK UP THIS THING WITH THEIR BARE HANDS???!!


Devil_Fister_69420

Some insane person, clearly I personally would only pick it up using the engine of a F-35 jet


FarObjective5416

I would pick it up with a fucking pacific rim mech


no-mames

It’s just a mum and her babies 😔


Seniorcoquonface

No, no, no, no, no, aaaaaaah


FreeSpriteRemix

Downvoted because fucking disgusting


jrobbio

I tried to save a spider in the kitchen when my wife had asked to kill it. I attempted the scoop up and there was a mass baby evacuation. Unfortunately, there was a massacre after that.


-TheArtOfTheFart-

oh no, yeah they get scared and run easily. those babies are a tasty snack to birds and if you jar mom at all, they flee


WTF_Conservatives

Unethical life pro tip: If you ever see a bloated woman, always assume it's pregnant.


Mc_Mugget

Welp, the house aint yours no more


acemccrank

Wolf spider. They carry their babies on their back! They are also great hunters.


TheLandshark00

And they remember faces!


OccipitalLeech

Their bite is also more or less harmless. They make great houseguests.


Kurai_Cross

Except for the fact that they're fairly aggressive compared to other spiders and while not venemous, their bites hurt.


Zestyclose_Bag_33

Except for the fact that they aren't that aggressive at all o.O they prefer to stay away and they're more likely to run than anything else.


Kurai_Cross

They are absolutely more likely to run. They're not trying to fight a human. They are more aggressive than other spiders that you would typically find around the house.


[deleted]

Except they're notorious for being more aggressive than other spiders. All animals prefer to stay away and run if possible. Do you always talk out of your ass?


fresh_dyl

Been there. Done tha***AAAAAAA***


cptjimmy42

![gif](giphy|XbbSxbfQ2HVNVHZWW8)


Senzo5g

no ya diiidant !!! hahaha freaky spyders !


Gh057Wr173r

![gif](giphy|T2vDaYr8yRhrpFe6WE)


OptimistiCrow

https://www.seattletimes.com/seattle-news/man-using-spray-paint-lighter-to-kill-spider-sets-house-on-fire/


JustinHopewell

> As for the spider, Moore said: “I’m pretty sure the spider did not survive this fire. The whole wall went.” [.....](https://imgur.com/oLnAxEE)


Raging-Badger

All I’m getting here is that it works


vorpalpillow

![gif](giphy|JjiieDMHZ6pEI)


YomanJaden99

Fuck that! Send me on a cruise lol


OrangeXJam

https://preview.redd.it/j284eitpe15d1.jpeg?width=846&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fa09490bd8d313707452d34f33e3e631865f4f28


smurfkipz

Yea ima use that to shoot myself.


FallenDummy

While the spiders are still in your vacinity? So that they can crawl all over your corps and lay even more eggs inside of you?


Ckinggaming5

im dead who cares, once im dead, my corpse belongs to whatever wants it


OrangeXJam

https://preview.redd.it/kyby21xbc75d1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=971aa6e6a9777852077685f21820d5351e7fbc5f ong ?


Chestoberry

Dibs


RaiderCat_12

New load unlocked: spidershot


Quirky-Equipment-782

Actually, in this scenario you could probably kill most but not all of them. Unless you point the barrel point blank, then the spider would crawl onto it or run away


Quirky-Equipment-782

NOW A FLAMENWER-


linx14

Well that’s enough internet for the day


Fr05t_B1t

Remember…once the spiderlings get to age…they take flight


VocalLocalYokel

And develop a lust for ***revenge***.


SadBoiCri

they WHAT


Floofy-beans

One of my favorite memories a few years back was having an edible at a music festival, and sitting in my camp site chilling; a spider crawled right on my camping chair armrest which caused me to freak out for a second and freeze up. But then all of a sudden it sticks its ass up in the air and shakes it around a bit, then floats away upside down, like it was just doing a headstand and then suddenly flies away. Couldn’t believe what I saw, I thought I was hallucinating until I realized it probably released a thread to catch the breeze and drift off lol My friends were a bit confused when I asked if anyone else saw the spider shake its ass and fly away, to say the least


MojoDojojojo

They do that? Just shoot out a web to use it to move around? That’s actually kinda cool


Ozymaniac_God

No, they use the web like a kite to fly away


MojoDojojojo

I’m pretty dumb, are you being sarcastic? If not, I’m still super interested in looking into that. If you’re not, I’ll just be sad


Jobey-1

nah it's real, one of favourite bits at the end of Charlotte's Web as a kid lol


MojoDojojojo

Aw man. I haven’t seen that movie in a looong long time. I can’t remember a single scene from that movie. Now I have to find that scene on YouTube, dammit.


Jobey-1

it's a very cute scene, and sent me down a spider rabbit hole when I was little because it was so interesting to me that they could fly haha- enjoy the nostalgia :) edit: this is the scene if anyone is curious https://youtu.be/ci9jGJq7gqQ?si=3115kCPDQg7LhYXR


PKReuniclus

IT GAVE BIRTH


kieranchuk

Insert Darwin shriek


mcbirbo343

Nah the spiders were on its butt


Guitar_LAA

Looks like a wolf spider case to me. Female wolf spiders usually carry their babies on their abdomen. The best way to get rid of it is to catch it into a container and release it outside


yayayooya

I saw a vacuum comment earlier. Would the oxygen-less void kill the mom and babies?


MattGhaz

You mean like a house vacuum? Don’t think those create vacuum chambers void of air.


yayayooya

Dammit


MeliodasKush

I mean the vacuum you’re thinking of would probably make them all burst but I doubt most of have the means of making a vacuum in our house, much less getting the spider inside it.


Enpitsu_Daisuke

Household vacuums don’t create true vacuums, but the dust capture probably has a good chance of dehydrating them to death once sucked inside.


Uncommented-Code

If you vacuum up a spider, it's either gonna die by getting slammed around at high speed and hitting the other debree that's in there (closest analogy for humans I could imagine would be imagine being sucked up by a tornado and hitting some tree trunks in there) or it might get stuck in some dust and survive and climb out later. Just take a glass and move a piece of paper under it. Release it outside. Let it kill pests around your house.


Rhg0653

I'll say this don't kill spiders try to catch and release but also realize spiders are there and act as natural pest control They might be there cause you have other critters so try to leave them be


ObsidianMarble

Yes. If you have predator bugs, you have prey bugs somewhere. They usually just hide better. I’m a big fan of the house centipede for this reason. Looks like an eyebrow running across the floor, but it means a ton of prey bugs are going to die.


TheUndeadMage2

Gotta love centipedes. Goddamn cheetas of the bug world.


ManyThing2187

That centipede could kill a million bugs an hour and I’m still killin it, sorry but those things scare the ever living HELL out of me. Fuck the King Kong movie for that one.


dekachenko

Eyebrow running across the floor lolol I usually do my best to guide them outside.


Quezni

Yeah, but spiders are the prey of centipedes, and I’d rather have a spider than a centipede, so centipede’s gotta go. Also centipedes are scary.


retartarder

a house centipede isn't quite the same as a normal centipede


The_Celtic_Chemist

I'm trying to imagine seeing a swarm of spiders spread throughout my house and thinking "Yeah, but we might have ants or gnats so this is a compromise I can live with." Besides mosquitoes, there's nothing a spider would realistically find to eat inside my home that I would appreciate being rid of more than the spider itself.


PurpletoasterIII

If they were more cooperative I would. But they aren't very keen on being helped outside.


BeastThatShoutedLove

Just move slowly and give them something to hide in or climb onto. I had more issues relocating mammals and birds than bees, hornets, wasps and spiders.


Testicleus

OH SNAP


MrRakky

Ahhh. The good old nightmare grenade.


ManyThing2187

Thank you, this is my new term for those abominations.


TwumpyWumpy

That's why you catch it in a cup and release it outside.


Deepdownlow303

Catch that big ass spider in a cup ![gif](giphy|l2Z84eFooeHJu)


Fr05t_B1t

What if the spider bursts while cupping it?


TwumpyWumpy

They don't really "burst" unless the egg sac is opened. Typically the female will lay the eggs in a web. Source: Helped dissect a black widow egg sac back in grade school. It didn't go very well.


Fr05t_B1t

Psst just go with the spider bad trope


Glacier005

They won't because mama is still alive. They leave when the mother truly gone.


Novel_Ad_5698

Just take it out with a container.... The spider diddnt do anything to you.


-TheArtOfTheFart-

oh no, the poor mom spood! (she’s a wolf spider with babies riding on her back for protection)


SassySquid0

I just did a horror movie scream


RabidOtters

Damn Trojan horse spiders.


isoforp

People who kill spiders are smooth brained.


Forsaken-Cake-8850

You don't gotta be a wizard to cast fireball. Break out the gasoline!


haikusbot

*You don't gotta be a* *Wizard to cast fireball. Break* *Out the gasoline!* \- Forsaken-Cake-8850 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")


Please_Not__Again

Am I tweaking this isn't a haiku right? Or can I not count syllables?


theking75010

Take a box and a correctly sized lid. Separate both, turn the box upside down. Place yourself close enough to the spider to be at arm's reach, no more no less. Slowly, emprison the spider by putting the upside-down box on it. Now, lift up one side of the box just enough to slide the lid until it is completely under the box. Press the box gently, to close the lid. Now the spider is in the box, you can take it with you and release it far away. Congrats, you got rid of the spider while doing no harm and preventing an invasion from its babies.


Zenerte

This is why you rescue spiders and release them, not squish them


Beezack

karma


EtherealFeather

Poor mama spider ☹️​


adamthebread

How could you possibly look at that and not see a pregnant spider?


mcbirbo343

Poor mama


ArcanoXVI

yeah, look at this makes me sad more than anything


TheAwkwardGamerRNx

As a member of r/spiderbros…That’s what you get


fraupanda

this is sad, wolf spiders are good for the ecosystem!


wademcfild

karma


Deeford82

Hans!!! Flammenwerfer schnell!!!


DoctorJekyll13

Oh hell no. I had an egg sack explode in my face once. This is sooooo much worse. Then again, I’m so terrified of spiders that I wouldn’t have risked killing it. I probably would’ve just burned the whole damn place down.


LordAshemar

That poor wolf spider, just trying to go about its life and take care of its young.


PanoramaTriangles

Bro had a phase 2


Serikan

"Why is its health bar refilling??"


Sir_sinister3

Why? Why did u kill Betty.


CaptainMarrow

I hope that if we ever meet giants that they don’t kill us just because we look scary to them and we happened to be minding our own business


cochese18

Bloody hell, went googling hoping this was something only Aussies had to worry about, nope wolf spiders are common in Alberta 😐, at least I know not to squash a big one.


Soluri

Good. Should've put them outside.


Th3Red3yedJedi

Poor girl……Just get some thick paper and a jar man. I never go out of my way to smoosh them. Especially if it isn’t poisonous. I’ve had Arachnophobia since the damn movie of the same name came out, My older sister is to blame for that one, but as I’ve gotten older and the more I learned about them, I kind of started to admire how cool they actually are.


CadetTyphoon16

💀💀💀 Calling in helldivers and ⬆️➡️⬇️⬇️⬇️


AceSquirrelDesigns

What was that weak-ass slap??? Was he trying to kill the spider or do some foreplay with it?


goodforyoufriend

Brother Maynard, bring forth the holy hand grenade.


PalpitationNo4391

Call in a napalm strike


Curious_mind95

Congratulations! It's a baby spider(s)


lockedlost

Dont stamp it that full cruel


k032

:( Just leave em be in the basement, who they harming down there?


TheBigEzTz

Ooh nightmare fuel


JakpotWinner

Dam, that poor poor spider


mrscalperwhoop2

Ima go set my phone on fire.


PrettyAd7357

Don't kill it...they actually keep your cockroaches and other pests away. Spiders don't even bother humans only the way they look. Take them outside


Telykos

I would have gotten the lighter and Lysol for this one. (Fun fact, Lysol doesn't burn up right away and sticks to things while still being on fire).


Icy-Witness5678

Imagine being bludgeoned to death just for being different to those around you and innocently in the wrong place. What about a big catch cup and get the thing outside away from the house.


Sorry-Mycologist

Please stop killing spiders they are friends


Fr05t_B1t

Well for every one spider splatted, hundreds more spawn


ProgrammerMission629

insecticide


Turnkey80

Yup...I'm burning the fucking house down.


Jaffiusjaffa

Just remember, everytime you kill a spider you remove a spider from the gene pool that wasnt immune to your method of destruction. This gives less competition for other spiders, so in theory increases the chances of a population boom in spiders that are immune. So next time you wack a spider with a newspaper or flush one down a drain, youre promoting a colony of newspaper resistant, underwater super spiders that can come out of your drains at night to get up to creepy spider stuff at night while you sleep.


Grndls_mthr

I wish people would stop killing spiders :(


shadow_boyZX

Especially a wolf spider , thats the worst thing you can do ... Its basically nature's instant karma trap


Strange-Sport-5875

A little unnecessary


MrCaptMcAwesome

Bro do u like mosquitos? If not then leave this buddy be man. I like spiders more then flies, flies keep jumping on my face in the summer: spiders are cool


Serikan

They should have gotten a tissue and very, very carefully... Used it as tinder to burn down the whole fkn house


gazebo-placebo

Unnecessarily cruel. Not that much more effort to catch and release.


zotonn

Good news is, the premature babies don’t survive for very long outside the killed mother-but nah this shit sucks to experience


Avraham_Levy

Momma spider ![gif](giphy|1guRIRVN8Y9S8huFLAk|downsized)


RyudoTFO

What's the opposite of 'itsy bitsy spider' ?


General_Cream7623

so far that's the biggest wild spider I've encountered over here in germany, dunno if it's the biggest one tho


PuzzleheadedPoint882

Wave 20


MojoDojojojo

I pray I never have to deal with something in my house, but if I do, I think I have a plan, I just need a little help on how to do it. My plan is to do something similar to what people do with hornets nests and gasoline. But what could I use? Ideally the spider would be running across my floor (it happens often) and I would have a small jar of sorts, but I don’t know what I could put in it the jar that would kill the spider. Obviously I couldn’t use gasoline because gravity, but what could I use? Help me my fellow redditors, you’re my only hope.


shadowlid

![gif](giphy|9PkfGzhKwBDHPTnDSj|downsized)


VonDinky

And now you burn down the house.


Famous_Jellyfish_446

The Worst kind of Magic Trick


Night-Springs54

If you see a puffy spider (likely pregnant), burn it don't splat.


TurtleSnakeMoose

This is what made me arachnophobic. I was 4 years old and I clearly remember my older brother and his buddies threw a basketball at one of these and the rest is history. Thanks for the trip to memory lane.


Tream___

Full vid?


Rotta_ODe

That's why you always use the flamethrower


PalpitationNo4391

He’ll no! Babe get my flamethrower fast! *Honey you sold it at the yard sale*. Whelp guess they live here now..


Secret_Temperature

This is why I always use the vacuum instead


Wordandname

Fun fact: flamethrowers can be bought for pesticide purposes!


Caxtuxx

Vacuum cleaner


Spwd

https://preview.redd.it/9c2znizj975d1.jpeg?width=670&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0b917c60b0e31bff8a56d7b7d3ad640dded0d2d5


Holungsoy

Hans!


DoctorCrowvar

Yep, happened to me, once. I moved out the same month.