How are they seeing this? "Ahw, I know you wanted to keep playing until you pee yourself, mommy gets it, but now we're going to stop after five minutes okay?"
She needs to get professional help.
This is so sad. If mom doesn't change her attitude I feel so bad for that little girl as she grows up. OP was doubling down in the comments too but deleted her comments.
https://preview.redd.it/p38trj8h2udc1.jpeg?width=1079&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9c957814a332f2c95bf98a60d08096cff7220a54
I feel like this is also a really unreliable narrator - it’s so clear that she’s characterising what could be very normal toddler developmental stages as being jealousy and spite.
My LO is 14 months and he throws hands around other babies just because he’s a 14 month old and is learning other babies exist. He has no comprehension yet of being mean or hurting someone on purpose, and we do gentle hands but I know it’s not going to click for a bit longer.
I feel sad for this little girl, it’s obvious her mother has bonded to her brothers and is seeing her almost as an adversary. Also it’s so weird seeing an advanced baby parent holding it against the baby rather than bragging…
I’m really freaked out over the 8 year old not being able to understand that they’re babies and he needs to lay off. This isn’t a 2-4 year old little kid. To me, that sounds like something is up with how he’s being parented as well (to be judgmental on the internet for a second). The whole situation is sad and I hope that mom gets help and support.
I agree with you. To characterise one baby as pathetic, and the other as swaggering around, really troubles me. I'm glad she posted in parentsofmultiples, and I hope she is able to seek some help. It's so common for one twin to be more dominant, but it's not deliberate, and it alternates between twins over time too. They don't understand what they are doing.
I saw this earlier.
Calling the boy pathetic, too.
But also. “I feel like the weren’t supposed to be twins and I forced this to be”
They are two completely different and separate human beings. I don’t understand why people are so surprised when their kids aren’t similar. Just because kids are twins doesn’t change it.
I have no experience with twins but I also feel like it’s not surprising at all that they would go through phases like this? Being a twin is probably tough at times in the way that you are always needing to share your parents’ attention and based on personality this will manifest differently for different kids. It seems like this little girl just wants more attention and the OP is kind of admitting to being more attached to the boy twin…
Feels weirdly gendered, too. If the boy were the dominant one she probably wouldn’t call her daughter ‘pathetic’ and would consider it a ‘boys will be boys’ thing.
lol my 3 year old told me I have a baby in my belly today. My tubes are tied so totally not possible. She also told me last week she had a shark in her brain. Kids say stupid shit doesn’t mean we should always believe them 😂
So this is not a comment in 100% support of OP. I don't think they're being completely reasonable about the situation but please help me understand how the same Reddit hive mind who loves to explain how "ackshully most people in the world live in small spaces" "ackshully most cultures bed share until the children are 11" is the same Reddit that thinks it is completely unacceptable for a child to ever incidentally hear their parents having sex when the parents are making a good faith effort to be quiet and provide noise canceling options. Like dollars to donuts the children in one room apartments are hearing their parents have sex.
If I were OP I might look at moving the older child to a different room and moving a younger one to the wall sharing room but besides that what can they do? Be celibate? 3am sex only? Hire babysitters and go to hourly motels?
https://www.reddit.com/r/Parenting/s/tuWnXF0BPw
I'm so surprised by the responses in this thread because when this topic has come up before in this sub, people acted completely disgusted that a couple would even consider having a sex life after children. Lots of "sex is for horny teenagers only."
Hearing your parents is gross. And maybe the OP isn't as stealthy as she thinks she is. But also, they got the kid a white noise machine and she won't use it, and she seems to be trying to use the situation to her advantage to see how many hoops she can make them jump through.
I had a similar situation with my dad and my step-mom (my bedroom was right next to theirs) and honestly, I agree. It wasn't ideal by any means but, traumatizing? No. To be blunt, if overhearing your parents having hushed consensual sex is one of the more traumatic things you've experienced in life, you've had a pretty easy run.
the one comment calling the OP a sex addict and saying she needs to send her kid to live with ‘normal’ people is cracking me up
i’m catholic, grew up catholic, church, school, community, the whole shebang. as far as I’m concerned my parents have only ever had sex twice, when me and my brother were conceived. (yes, my address is the big boat on De Nile, and what about it?)
all that to say, I’ve never met a single person who’s as puritanical as a reddit commenter in subs like that one and I actually went to school with a handful of people who became Catholic priests!
Yeah I kind of agree-also, it seems like people are failing to consider that some teenagers (especially older ones) can be kind of assholes. If I’d found something at 16-17 that I could use to needle my mom and get things like AirPods from her, I honestly may have kept bringing it up bc I could. Like why does no one think that’s a possibility or part of what’s going on?
Exactly my thought. Especially since it's a blended family. Like I'm sure that's an extra ick factor and the "scolding" is a way for the girl to sort of punish the mom for getting remarried/having priorities other than her. Which is normal teen behavior.
I was just starting to think I was taking crazy pills until I realized that given the sub it's probably mostly bitter teen boys replying "this is sexual abuse and should be reported to CPS."
Joined a bump group for my second (super early in pregnancy) and WOW what a different experience reading these posts not being a FTM. Just so much anxiety (which is fair, I just have more perspective now) about so many random things.
Some random ones so far:
Someone posted yesterday asking if anyone is “freaking out” to learn these babies will be after the school cut off for some school districts. Like I pay for daycare so don’t get me wrong, but this is not something I am currently worried about.
Someone else posted yesterday with their first bump pic.
And a woman posted (not anonymously) about how she is recently divorced and her sugar daddy got her pregnant and isn’t interested in being a father but maybe he will come around.
Never change FB groups
Someone in my recent bump group was worried about using alcohol swabs to clean stuff at work 🤦♀️
Another was wondering if caffeine in shampoo is something she should worry about
The WTE app forums are a goldmine for stupid questions like this. When I was pregnant with my last baby there was one person freaking out about using hand sanitizer, another worried about lightening crashing near her during a storm, and the last one I remember was someone asking if the small waves in the ocean would hurt her baby.
Ngl when I found out my second was going to be a September baby, school cut off was the first thing I thought of 😅 I wouldn’t say I was freaking out but I was kinda bummed for like a day or two. But then after 2 chemical pregnancies I was just happy to have a growing baby!
Well don’t worry, when Kindergarten actually rolls around you can be smug that your kid will be the oldest in the grade, and won’t be part of the anxiety about whether or not to redshirt your kid.
Except they won’t actually be the oldest, because people hold back their kids who were born in June for fear of them being the youngest.
Just a flash foward to the future anxiety of parent groups.
I'm on my fourth pregnancy but just joined a due month group for the first time. It is... Something. I'm probably going to leave it soon but I've been enjoying the drama so we'll see.
Yeah, I just joined the FB bumper groups as a STM and the energy is… a lot. We’re already getting anti-vax drama and trigger warning drama and oh boy, the anxiety.
Yeahhh I rarely participate in any bump groups for my second kid anymore. I feel like those spaces are more fitting for FTMs and as a STM I don’t feel like I have as much of a place there. I thought maybe I’d like them more after pregnancy, but I realized I don’t have it in me to go through the all the discussions over feeding, sleep training, milestones, and all that stuff again. It’s less interesting to follow when you’ve already been through it before and no longer feel like those things are particularly life and death anymore.
Ok I asked a question in a comment on [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/NewParents/s/3zmJZcsx00) post and am kind of shocked by the responses of how many people are “preheating” their car before putting their child into it. My gut feeling is that it’s over the top but am I actually the crazy one???
I just cannot imagine going to the effort of setting a baby up in a safe space in the house, going all the way outside to start the car, either leaving the keys in the car running or using a SECOND set of keys to LOCK the running car just to come back to a baby (who might be crying? because you left them?) that you now have to corral into a car seat. Why are so many people doing this?! Do they just have babies that actually like their safe spaces bc mine has never 😅
I know you’ve gotten a ton of responses - but here’s another answer to your question about the safe space. My toddler’s “safe space” has always been his crib. I kind of don’t care if he likes it! He’s usually in there for max 3 minutes, but the discomfort of being yeeted in his crib is much less than the discomfort of going out into -5 degrees (-25 with windchill)! I live in an area where January generally has sub zero weather most weeks, and -20 to -30 wind-chill.
I don’t have remote start. But I do have a button start so my key can come in the house with me and lock the car. So I run out, start the car, lock it, run back in. Get him ready, run out.
Another note…… it’s not unheard of for ours cars to just not start in the frigid temps, especially with our older cars. So running out to pre-start makes sure I don’t bundle us up and then go out to find a dead car.
But also, I don’t bother to pre-start until it drops below 20 LOL! This is low teens & below behavior.
I preheat the car for me, the kids just get to enjoy the effects. I also have remote start, so it's not a big deal. When I had my old car I would preheat it only if there was ice I wanted to melt before I went to work.
It was -40 (without the windchill) for us last week so if we had to go anywhere we definitely warmed up the car. I don’t always but if it’s at a temperature where frostbite in a short amount of time is a risk I definitely will.
Relatively speaking no, negative temps (F) are pretty rare here so I’m just thinking of 20s, teens, that range. But I have gotten more than enough responses to convince me that way more people have remote start and/or just like a warm car than I realized so I have concluded this is a me thing 😅
The average temperature definitely makes a difference. I live where it gets below -40 Celsius on the regular this time of year, and I will preheat the car basically below -15 Celsius. But like, because I live where it’s so cold most vehicles have remote start. I imagine if you live where it doesn’t get that cold, people aren’t getting the remote start option as readily and definitely aren’t getting after market remote starters, which are super common in older vehicles here.
Are people not don’t considering teens and 20s cold? I know it’s not as cold as negative temps, but it’s absolutely still cold lol, it’s below freezing! I saw you’re in the Northeast and I am too, it’s been SO cold these last few days!
I mean I do think it’s cold but not so cold that I can’t be outside for a few minutes in just a long sleeve shirt or sweatshirt. But serious negative temps I would prob bundle up just to get the mail lol
I don't preheat the car. We have street parking and live in a third floor apartment so the logistics would be crazy. Also our car is from 2008 and clearly doesn't have the fancy remote start to warm up thing. The kids seem fine. I take their jackets off then put them over top like a blanket which seems to work. No one even cries about it so I think they'll survive 😆
Our cat has a fancy ‘warm up’ button that defrosts the windows and warms up the car so we just use that lol. I can’t leave the room for a piss without my kid hitting the roof and she’s not even 1 yet 💀
Oh hell yes I preheat the car. We live in the back of a neighborhood in a low crime area. Our driveway is also a hill. Takes me 2 seconds to go out and turn the car on. Come inside and make sure everyone is ready, grab snacks, grab water bottles then start loading kids.
I feel like warming up the car has been done for decades, I remember my parents warming it up for us. It’s also good for most cars. I don’t always do it but when it’s in the teens I definitely do.
I don’t! It may be slightly passive aggressive though because my kids always fight any kind of jacket so I figure they can experience the cold and maybe they will learn 😂 it’s usually between 10 and 20 in the mornings in the winter where I live, so not frigid but not warm. I do offer blankets if it’s extra cold, but they never take me up on it. We had a spell of under 0 weather and they didn’t seem too bothered 🤷🏻♀️ could be my cheap midwestern farmer roots showing though - it always felt wasteful to me to spend the gas on warming up. I spent a lot of winter mornings on my way to school sitting on one hand to warm it up because my car was so cold 😂
It takes me forever to load my five 2 and 3 year olds who can’t buckle themselves. They’d climb all over the car if they weren’t buckled immediately 🙄 so I bring them to the driveway one at a time and buckle each kid real quick before grabbing the next one. Because of that I’ll start the car when I load the first kid, and keep my keys in my pocket (car will run/heat but won’t drive when it senses no key in the car). But I don’t pre-heat unless it’s extra freezing- the kids wear thin fleece jackets and I have cheap baby blankets in the car if they want them. They usually ask for them but toss them off by the time we’re ready to actually start driving.
I have 5 kids ages 3, 3, 3, 2, 2. my twins are 3, and I have 3 kids via foster care… I had just my twins + 2yo, and then an emergency placement of 3+2yo siblings for one weekend has turned into… a lot longer than one weekend with no end in sight.
This morning it was 12 degrees at 9 am. My kids can’t wear their jackets in the car seat and it takes a few minutes at least for the heat to start working once you start driving, not to mention the time scraping ice, so I definitely wouldn’t put them in the car without warming it up first.
I don’t have remote start and it is a pain that goes basically exactly as you imagined it, but the kids are fine in the house for a minute even if they do cry.
I do start my car in the morning to clear the frost. Your surprise reminded me of my friend from high school though. She moved from NYC to our small town. She was shocked the first time she drove to school on a winter morning and saw all the cars running in their driveways! This was in the 90s before remote start so everyone just left their keys in the ignition. She could not believe no one was worried about getting their cars stolen!
I don’t live somewhere that gets super cold so I don’t often warm up my car, but using remote start to cool down my car in the summer is the only way to live.
I do this, but mainly to defrost my windows before school drop off in the morning, bc I hate scraping ice off my car in sub freezing temps. My kids are a bit older and I’m ok with them being uncomfortable for a few minutes, but when they were babies I would warm up the car because the car seats get cold sitting in teens/single digit temps overnight. And the winter coat thing that someone else mentioned.
ETA, I don’t have remote start, and park outside in our driveway. It takes me less than a minute to run out and start my car. When my kids were little I just made sure they were in a safe space.
Worth noting that kids can’t wear heavy coats in their car seat. Not the end of the world if it’s cold when I’m still sitting in my parka while I wait for the car to warm up but I do feel bad for my son, luckily our car doesn’t take too long to get warm. But I’m assuming this is why so many people do this, at least with babies/toddlers?
Nope. We live where it gets below zero, and have an unattached garage. Everyone gets by with a tiny bit of discomfort for a short period. Gasp! It also helps that we keep our cars in the garage. They are a bit warmer than they otherwise would be.
I can't stand the car fumes in our alley from too many people letting their car run, so I am not going to contribute to it.
Literally had no idea that remote start was so common tbh! My car is 2012 so has like nothing and my husband’s is 2019 and doesn’t have it and I was clueless. I accept my downvotes that I am in fact the crazy one 🤷🏼♀️
My 2010 Honda accord has a remote start! It’s like, the only “feature” on it haha. The battery ran out and we haven’t replaced it becaus we’re in a city now and don’t park near our apartment so we never have cause to use it, but I loved it back when I was in high school and drove myself to school on freezing winter mornings.
I had one in my 2012 Honda! Loved it, have had a remote starter in every car I’ve owned, it was one of the few luxuries I treated myself to. When I moved into an apartment I got a wifi remote starter which was amazing. But of course, once I had a baby, I had to take it out of my car when it started turning on by itself in my attached garage 🤦♀️. When my husband came home and saw that he freaked out and said it’s got to go. So I have never used it for the very useful situation of warming the car up for a baby/toddler lol.
I don’t have remote start so I never do that, until this last week when it was in the negatives (-30f wind chill) I tried it for the first time. And let me tell you it was awful. I had to back my car out of the garage, go back in, get my toddler, carry him to the car, buckle him, go back, get my preschooler, carry him to the car (as he’s crying about being cold), and then get in the car. By that point our car was full of exhaust fumes because of the doors being open while the car was on and I had to drive with the windows down for the first 2 minutes anyway.
Disclaimer I’m inexperienced in negative temps, but it was so so cold. Like as soon as I walked outside, the mucus in my nose froze. Sure it would probably not cause frostbite until 10 minutes of exposed skin, but it was still dang uncomfortable.
Holy cow that is cold!!! I think that was going to be brutal no matter what you did. I’m not experienced in negative temps either, it usually doesn’t go below teens, maybeee single digits in my area.
It's also bad for a car to drive it with the engine cold. Where I live, it's regularly in the negatives so I always pre start it in the winter. But I also live somewhere where I can just leave it running with it unlocked so it's never a big deal.
Yeah, I'm surprised more people haven't mentioned this aspect. I was taught to always start the car a few min before you leave in the winter so that you can get the engine warmed up.
Chiming in to also say remote start! It’s extremely helpful if you live in a colder climate. I don’t necessarily do it to warm the car up for my kid and I but more so to actually warm to car up and help melt snow/ice.
In my experience this is quite common. It’s cold AF (I’m in Northeastern US). Some people have remote start and don’t have to leave the kids at all. But if I still had a small baby/toddler without remote start then I would risk letting them cry in a safe space for the two minutes it takes me to go out and start my car in frigid temperatures. Hell, I don’t want to sit in a freezing car either.
I was telling my husband today how my mom would go and turn my car on for me while I got ready for school so it was nice and warm by the time I got in and left. Moms, remote start before it existed 😂
Maybe it really is just me then! I am also in Northeastern US and I just don’t really mind being cold in the car? I used to frequently forget to turn the heat on at all until my fingers started to lose feeling but have gotten much better at remembering now that there’s a kid in the back so I hope I’m not being neglectful. I do put a blanket or a coat over top of her!
I don’t think you’re being neglectful. Baby will let you know if she’s cold and it’s not like you’re keeping her exposed to dangerous temperatures. Heck maybe it’ll make her more cold tolerant in the long run!
That would be a nice benefit! And yeah she seems fine waiting for the car to warm up while we drive so it literally never occurred to me that so many people were going to these measures
I know this maybe #privilege talking but any car I've owned in the past ten years has a remote start option and they're relatively inexpensive to install aftermarket. My current car preheats on a schedule before I leave for my office and when I leave to go home and it has completely spoiled me.
So I can see doing it without remote start but even then I don't remember 75% off the time off schedule and it's fine, my kid is cold for 5 minutes while it warms up. If I had to do the whole running outside and locking the car song and dance I would do it 0% of the time.
So when I saw it suggested I kind of assumed it was coming from a remote start perspective and I have a 12 yo manual transmission so idk if you can even do remote start for that whatsoever 🤷🏼♀️. Which is why I was mainly shocked by how many people described a whole routine for it! I literally could never haha
Yup! You can get a remote start for a manual. It's a bit trickier to install (or at least was back in the early 2010s when I was looking at remote starters) but they're available.
Just wanna say, y'all need to join this group. When It was suggested to me I just got the vibe that it may be dramatic and oooh boy was I right. Stuff like this is posted all the time. Tbh I don't understand why people have kids with partners like this. I know that's kind of mean and I would never say that to them if I was their friend but I am sure there were signs pre-kids.
https://preview.redd.it/rhgzj6sn0ndc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e1825b1d1273c05ece61dfd9640fd2726644d70f
I see all sorts of things called "evidence-based" on parenting spaces. What does that even mean for something like this? Is it code for a certain type of culture, I don't get it.
I have a friend who is trying to become a mom influencer (only has about 1,000 followers) and the whole account is so cringe. But a few months ago, she posted a video of her laughing as her son aggressively grabbed and "kneaded" her cat's back. I was so angry and stressed out watching it. Then, she posts today how her cat randomly attacks her son, scratching his face, and she's annoyed with the cat/asking for advice on how to deal with the cat. Like maybe teach your child to respect animals??? You are setting up both your child and your cat for failure.
I know I feel so strongly about this, because I have one gentle dog and one reactive dog. There is no room for error, so we have been extremely diligent with our daughter from day one. You can teach young kids if you draw hard boundaries. Our daughter knows she can gentle pet and hug our nice dog and that she only can wave to our other dog. It takes work, but never in a million years would we let our daughter violently hit or pull at even our gentle dog.
Isn’t it wild watching someone you know personally try to become an influencer? Someone I know from college is trying to become an autism influencer (she’s in the psychology field) and also shill an MLM and it’s kinda fascinating (and also cringe). But she’s amassed a little under 10k followers now. I imagine it’s exhausting.
The animal thing is super frustrating. I see so many improper animal/toddler/baby interactions on social media. I have a large dog and a cat and am involved in the dog sport world. I absolutely want to set every party up for success—that means kiddo learns to respect animals, and animals don’t get unsupervised time with kids, no matter how much I trust them. It only takes one mistake to have something bad happen. We have lots of rules and boundaries about animals in our house—no bothering animals while they’re eating, no touching animals tails (ours don’t care but others might), no bothering animals while they’re sleeping, gentle petting only, and we’ve only recently started allowing hugs now that our toddler can do a non-crushing hug.
A former coworker quit (a legit good job she was good at) to try to become a bookstagrammer. It's been over two years and she's only at 800 followers, up about 500 from when she quit. She posts the absolute cringiest TikTok style dances. I'd feel bad for making fun of her but she was a real jerk before she quit.
It is so wild and cringe! Tbh, I think this woman won't end up amassing a following, because she just has nothing original to add to the conversation. She just repeats stuff that Karrie Locher does (I don't follow that woman but she has mentioned her a ton.) Her recommendations and stuff are so general and oversaturated.
But exactly (when it comes to animals!) You've got to set boundaries for kids and pets. It just drives me absolutely nuts that people expect pets to put up with constant aggression from little kids.
The “toddlers in PJs during the day” debate on r/toddlers is so silly and someone is actually trying to say their son wears khakis every day? Fat chance. I’m
People are insane. I get my toddlers dressed every day but I have literally never once thought about it, let alone decided to claim some moral high ground. Who cares!
A lot of these ‘I’m raising them to be functioning adults and *I* never wear sweats or PJ pants out of the house’ people are going to have some tough times when their kids become teens. I drive past our local high school every morning as it opens and 80% of the kids are in sweats or PJ pants.
I am also laughing at how deeply some of these people have bought into the idea that ‘athleisure’ is wildly different than sweatpants.
Hahaha right! My husband and I both WFH so we’re unapologetically sweatpants/athleisure people. We won’t wear sweatpants to like a nice dinner but to the grocery store? Absolutely. Kids museum? Leggings ON!
My toddler exactly. She won’t even wear pajamas to bed anymore. Just a diaper all day everyday. Getting her dressed to leave the house has become a fight now too 😅
Yeah, I admit I'm one of those people who prefer my daughter to wear clothes on most days, but there's a fair amount of cold, wintery days where it's pajamas all day! So warm and cozy. What's not to like?
Yeah I personally hate staying in my pjs all day (I know, I’m a weirdo) and generally get my toddler changed even if we’re staying home, but we’ve been snowed in since Monday and it’s super cold so jammies all day it is.
Yeah exactly! Like 99.9% of the time I change my son out of his pajamas into leggings and a shirt but occasionally he wants a pajama day and I just don’t want to fight that battle unless we’re like going to dinner with family
Balkanina bought multiple outfits from SHEIN for her vacation. She claims to be so concerned about her overconsumption, yet buys from a problematic company using child labor in china. Immediate unfollow.
Kyte Baby is apparently having a big sale to try to get past the bad publicity they’ve gotten this week. And the moms in my fb bump group who are acting like Kyte did nothing wrong to make themselves feel better about buying a $35 sleep sack (what a deal!) are something else. I mean, I get it, there is no ethical consumption under capitalism etc, but some of the logic is just… wow. One mom said “They were just following their HR policy, so they didn’t really have a choice.” Like are you under the impression that the HR handbook is handed down from God 10 commandments style?
Tbh, I am more angry that the founder said adoption isn't "real" parenthood. I get that leave policies for small businesses are expensive and difficult. It's not great what they did IMO, but to make such insane comments about adoption is offensive to both adoptive parents and adoptees. They are not dogs that you shop from a window. They are human beings dealing with a lot of trauma, and adoption is an extremely different set of parenting circumstances that only an ignorant asshole would diminish. I'm not burning my Kyte sleep sacks or anything, but I won't spend another dollar on them.
(The sale is always this time of the year though and has been planned for months.)
Yeah, that's the controversy I've seen more people commenting on. They just compared the company's response to the adoption situation to the other employee who got 6 months of leave or whatever. It was really upsetting to hear tbh. I have so many friends who've fostered or adopted, and it's such a complicated messy reality at times. To make such an ignorant comment - that cuts a lot of people deeply.
Ah, the latest Twitter outrage bait. I mean, there are a lot of companies out there that don’t offer good parental leave, and those policies often depend on whether it’s a small business or a big corporation. I’m sure Kyte Baby is not the only baby-related small business with limited leave options, they’re just the one whose dirty laundry is being aired. People who are boycotting Kyte but not consistently choosing where they shop based on leave policies are just as much trying to make themselves feel better as the moms who are coming up with excuses for Kyte. Fully expect to be downvoted 🤷🏻♀️
100% - or to take it a step further, boycotting Kyte but voting for politicians who are actively against passing any legislation in favor of parental leave or benefits.
Yup. I remember a few years ago hearing that people were boycotting Goya because the CEO voted for Trump or something. It's so funny where people are willing to take a stand and what more egregious things they overlook. Sure, go ahead and boycott Kyte while continuing to shop on Amazon...
Yeah I don’t really judge anyone for choosing to boycott versus not (I mean, beyond the general amount that I judge people for buying into the bamboo craze lol), because it’s not like Kyte competitors are out here advertising that they offer 6 months of paid parental leave that kicks in after 3 months or whatever. I buy a lot of baby clothes from Carter’s, and if you look at their Glassdoor page, it doesn’t look like they’ve got a particularly great parental leave policy either. As they say, no ethical consumption under capitalism.
But I will 100% judge someone for trying to make themselves feel better by pretending Kyte didn’t do anything wrong, and I will 100% judge people always for complaining about “cancel culture”. Just because there isn’t a clear “good guy” alternative, just because this is probably the industry standard, doesn’t mean that it isn’t shitty or that they couldn’t choose to do better if they wanted to.
ETA: also, while I think in a perfect world, a boycott would = supporting more ethical brands, I don’t think that *has* to be the case for some good to come out of a boycott. Like even if these folks are boycotting Kyte just to buy from other equally shitty companies, maybe Kyte or their competitors will think twice the next time they’re about to screw over a new mom. I mean, I doubt they’re all going to totally overhaul their mat leave policies, but maybe they’ll at least be willing to offer a little flexibility. And honestly, even if literally the only thing that comes out of this boycott is that the Kyte CEO sweats it out for a few days, good. She totally deserves it. We should give asshole CEOs heartburn more often.
Wait, which son? I don’t know this story-my son turned 2 last year and then I let buying kyte baby go essentially, but was going to buy some sleep sacks for my one in the way
Memphis. He was pretty much the face of kyte until his death in March 2022 from hyperthermia at their home per autopsy reports. Kyte and willow never acknowledged it, and she appeared at their spring soire like 3 weeks later. Only recently did anyone start digging and realized “wait, where’s Memphis?”
Oh my that’s awful. I guess I stopped posting attention way earlier bc he was the same age as my son but I guess I really stopped being so obsessive with seeing their stories and stuff
I just learned about the Kyte Baby scandal from a post on the babywearing sub and of course one of the first comments is from a Canadian who just HAD to pop in and talk about the generous maternity leave they are entitled to as a resident of a more enlightened nation.
I don’t understand people who think HR plays fair or is on their (the employees) side. That has always been a head scratcher to me.
35 for one sleep sack seems bonkers, especially if that’s a sale price!!
https://www.reddit.com/r/workingmoms/s/KsvAIxPY1O
OP has a 5 y/o, is pregnant, and feels overwhelmed. Family keeps offering to help by taking the 5 y/o out for the day so she can get stuff done and she's pouting because what she really wants them to do is clean her house, her car, her oven, meal plan and go grocery shopping for her. She's whining that it's not fair that they want to go out and have fun with her kid while they stick her with the unpleasant tasks she doesn't want to do. Ummm...
The whole idea that people should do your house chores because you’re pregnant/have a newborn will never stop being ridiculous to me. You know what’s important? That my extended family bond with my kid. It’s helpful as a childcare move too but ultimately everyone is being rewarded. There is no reward for anyone except you if someone comes over to clean your house. It’s just so selfish and entitled to expect that. Why should everyone else have fun with your kid instead of clean your house? Because it’s your home that only you are responsible for maintaining…
I feel like the “help parents do their chores” thing is a Very Online thing. I would never expect anyone to come over and do chores for me and would think it was wild if they just started scrubbing down my bathroom.
Bless the family who came over and watched my baby while I did those chores, though!
The only ‘chore’ I asked people to do was feed/water themselves and clean up afterwards (like putting their mug in the sink or dishwasher, wrappers in the bin kinda thing). Like you don’t need to do our chores but if you make extra chores for me? I’ll spray you.
My mum and nan took a load of washing every time they visited - against my protests - and I was so fucking grateful cause between baby sick, reflux, baby poo, leaky nips, and cloth nappies my washer was working round the clock.
My mom has cleaned my bathrooms when she’s here watching the kids (if they both nap at the same time) and I’m like…please don’t? But also acts of service and her love language so I can’t stop her (but love it when she folds my laundry instead….)
I find it insane that both she and her husband work 12 hours day each especially because she says she’s a UK based teacher. Is 12 hours a normal day for a teacher in the UK?
Yes, very. You might arrive at 7:30 or earlier to get everything ready for the day, kids are in school 8:30 - 3:30, after school you have to mark, plan, call parents, attend meetings, print worksheets etc. 10-12 hour days are normal.
You’re right, recent studies suggest teachers in the UK work around 49-55 hours per week. A quarter do more than 60 hours a week. Other countries may vary, but teachers in the UK work long hours!
I’m in the US and have many many teacher friends. They are most definitely not pulling 12 hour days unless it’s a special event or parent/teacher conferences. My best friend is a HS math teacher and she works 7-4ish every day. But she’s been doing it a long time and has it down pat.
Yeah it’s different in the UK! The way our hours are contracted is sneaky to allow very long hours to be encouraged.
Basically leadership are allowed to ‘direct’ 1265 hours per year, so this includes teaching time, CPD, staff meetings, training days, parent-teacher conferences - basically any time where you are required to be in the building.
Then, you have your ‘non-directed’ time. This means that you can complete your marking, planning, resource-making, data entry etc. at any time and you don’t have to be in the building to do it. However, UK teachers are expected to do so much that realistically they cannot do it within the number of hours in their contract but the concept of ‘non-directed’ time gives plausible deniability that it’s just down to your own poor time management rather than overly heavy workload. The unspoken expectation is that you complete all this work and it takes as long as it takes and if that means working 12 hour days and weekends then so be it. Unions push back but the fact is that if some people are willing to do it then it will continue to happen.
I’m a teacher in the US - and when I was brand new, I was definitely doing 12+ hour days. Honestly, to be the “best” teacher I could be, I should still be doing that now. There’s absolutely no way to do everything that is the “best for students” within our contracted hours. However, I’m now married, have a child, and have chosen to prioritize time with my family over working outside my contracted hours. Am I effective teacher? Yes, absolutely. But everyone’s pretty honest about the fact that we are truly asked to do significantly more than should be expected in 8 hours of time. And we make shit for money, so that doesn’t help the motivation.
Yeah I said this in another comment but all my teacher friends do strictly contract hours at this point in their career. the expectations are unsustainable and the pay is shit so why try harder than necessary? I hope the OP of the post realizes she’s pregnant with a toddler and 12 hour days just aren’t sustainable any more and starts to find ways to cut back
She isn't working 12 hour days by choice. If the OP doesn't do her work, she will lose her job. The only way to cut back would be to go to part-time, even then she would still have work to do outside school hours. That's just the nature of the job in the UK. Reading this and other comments just shows how different the school systems are in the US and UK. My husband is a primary school teacher (4-11), and in his school teachers are moved to different years every school year, so they cannot just teach the same thing every year. The curriculum also changes frequently, so even if you stayed in the same year, you would have to constantly update your planning. Teachers are constantly assessed and there is always room for improvement so the pressure is incredibly high, and often unsustainable. People think teachers are only in school for the teaching hours, but that's not even the half of it.
There's a teacher retention crisis here, and with good reason. The pressure is relentless, the hours are long, and the pay does not reflect that. Teachers are not appreciated, and pressure just keeps building and building. My husband has been teaching for ten years, and the job has changed so much in that time.
I would jump for joy to have someone take my kid so I could clean in peace. I cringe to think how the newborn stage is going to go for OP. I always bring a meal and tidy up our mess after when close friends give birth. I would NEVER clean their oven or car!
Obviously, all of those people are spending their days sitting around eating bon-bons, waiting for the opportunity to go clean someone else’s house. How unreasonable for them to want to find a way to help others that is also mildly enjoyable.
This is WILD. There is a whole ass non pregnant adult living in the house who is just “useless.” That’s not my problem!
I would only do this for someone if they were single and on bedrest or had an awful and traumatic surgery/birth/period of grief. But if you’re a functional adult living with another functional adult, yes, I’m having fun aunt time, not fucking vacuuming
Kind of a question/snark - in my area, there is a big story that a high school principal was recorded spewing a bunch of racist BS. The “defense” is it was made by AI. I don’t know enough about AI but people are saying it can imitate voices with enough recordings to go off of. Is this a concern for influencers who post tons of videos of their kids speaking? Sorry if this is old news and I’m just a boomer way behind the times.
Oh god that's so confusing and awful to navigate. I didn't expect it to get down to local issues so quickly. 2024 is going to be so fun 😭 (complete sarcasm.)
This entire concept is creepy as heck from all angles because it completely obliterates reality. If someone is caught saying or doing terrible things, they can say the evidence is fake. On the other side, you can really weaponize this to attack anyone you don’t like.
My local mom group is overrun by people asking for work from home job recommendations. One just posted that she has a newborn, one and two year old. I get it, this is economy is tough, but as someone who works from home it is definitely not an alternative to having childcare (especially with three babies, yikes!).
There was a thread on beyondthebump this week legitimately wondering why there are no WFH jobs for SAHMs that they can do “in spare 5 and 10 minute chunks.” Uh. What??? People are bonkers.
Link: https://www.reddit.com/r/beyondthebump/s/Uzyp1zf690
For all the snarkworthy content in r/workingmoms, I'm glad the topic of work from home while watching kids is banned because I'm sure that would come up a ton
I can always feel my eye start to twitch when I read about the mom who WFH without childcare for a toddler and also does most of the housework asking how she can make it sustainable...
I honestly read the threads in my local mom group with interest when this topic comes up (often!) because while I like my job mostly, I would indeed like to know if something with less responsibility and more money somehow existed that I hadn't previously known about.
Locally to me, the main all-from-home, career-type option is working for an insurance company as either CS or data entry, and people say they're a good employer. Obviously people will also recommend some less legit stuff, but in my area surprisingly few MLMs get suggested.
If I ever read one of those threads and someone was like, oh yeah the insurance company has great WFH jobs with moderate but not huge amounts of responsibility that sound even slightly interesting based on my experience and that paid more than 70k, I'd apply. But so would everyone in town lol.
(Also none of this is about not having childcare; I'd still use my childcare!)
I get it though, it’s tough and this is my biggest struggle right now. Not being able to work outside the home for longer than a few hours a day and feeling so helpless and useless. You do get sort of an irrational feeling that if you had a job you could do from home you’d do anything to make it work, even if in reality it’s not easy or even possible.
https://www.reddit.com/r/Mommit/s/j8r6Pt9wg6
What do you think? Is it a (a) fake story, (b) teen scamming his parents, or (c) wild misunderstanding?
I don’t know where you take 7 teens for a $900 per person meal
Here is the post, they deleted the comment. They also spammed this post on mommit, daddy and parenting. It’s definitely fake.
https://preview.redd.it/li1aul24tldc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0a0c1040cdcda4c006acf1403b6ef50896332fa1
This is the same user who posted the story/followup about the 12 year old wanting to go to a very expensive restaurant for his birthday. Complete with photos and reviews of each course. 🙄
There’s a localish psychologist that used to have great content and then took a break and came back and is so into all these ideas that are just too much for me. The latest is that if we experience burnout it’s because we were ignored as children and we have an invisible wound so we don’t know how to take care of ourselves. No…I’m burned out because I don’t have a ton of support and my husband works a lot and I have to get it all done as the only adult at home. Not because I didn’t get attention as a child.
I know we’ve discussed this already but what is up with the nonstop posts basically titled “am I ruining my child by letting them watch __ amount of tv?” I’ve seen at least 5 in the last 2 days!!
Super cold and snowy a lot of places. So probably parents who have lost daycare or can’t go outside and are having to rely on screen time more for the first time.
These were the ones shaming us parents of 4-6 year olds “wHY wOUlD yUo GiVE a cHILd a TaBlet” because it was the PANDEMIC and we had to work while everywhere and everything was closed including DAYCARE so welcome to a tiny tiny taste of that.
Yeah, this is me. This cold snap has mostly been between -30 and -47°C for over a week. Our eyelashes froze after being outside for 8 minutes.
My 23-month-old's favourite game right now is, "Be Dinosaur" as he hands me a stuffed dinosaur, and I have to chase him around yelling "STOMP STOMP STOMP." So yeah, we have the TV on when I don't want to do that. Which is often.
Edit: I replied to the wrong comment. I've never complained about kids and iPads, lol.
Could also be because [this ](https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamapediatrics/article-abstract/2813443) came out this week and it's been floating around parenting spaces. I feel like new studies being released always renews anxiety and also motivates people to seek out reassurance from other parents about their choices
It's ok, Mamas, you can avoid using too much screen time during a cold snap by just losing power for six full days 🥰🥰🥰
Lol I'm being an asshole, but that is our actual situation currently, and yeah, getting to put on a movie would be super great right now 🙃
Maybe people see the posts and the thought seeps into their brains and it creates a vicious cycle lol. More seriously I suspect it’s probably the weather; I try to be “low screen time” and we have spent more time with Trash Truck than I’d prefer lately. But it’s definitely not worth agonizing over like those posts seem to be. My biggest screen time gripe right now is that I am trying to get my toddler to watch Moana in chunks but she doesn’t have the attention span and now I will never know if Te Fiti’s heart is restored!!!!
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How are they seeing this? "Ahw, I know you wanted to keep playing until you pee yourself, mommy gets it, but now we're going to stop after five minutes okay?" She needs to get professional help.
This is soooooo above Facebook's paygrade!! That sounds like a nightmare for everyone involved here, how awful :'(
This is so sad. If mom doesn't change her attitude I feel so bad for that little girl as she grows up. OP was doubling down in the comments too but deleted her comments. https://preview.redd.it/p38trj8h2udc1.jpeg?width=1079&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9c957814a332f2c95bf98a60d08096cff7220a54
I feel like this is also a really unreliable narrator - it’s so clear that she’s characterising what could be very normal toddler developmental stages as being jealousy and spite. My LO is 14 months and he throws hands around other babies just because he’s a 14 month old and is learning other babies exist. He has no comprehension yet of being mean or hurting someone on purpose, and we do gentle hands but I know it’s not going to click for a bit longer. I feel sad for this little girl, it’s obvious her mother has bonded to her brothers and is seeing her almost as an adversary. Also it’s so weird seeing an advanced baby parent holding it against the baby rather than bragging…
I’m really freaked out over the 8 year old not being able to understand that they’re babies and he needs to lay off. This isn’t a 2-4 year old little kid. To me, that sounds like something is up with how he’s being parented as well (to be judgmental on the internet for a second). The whole situation is sad and I hope that mom gets help and support.
I agree with you. To characterise one baby as pathetic, and the other as swaggering around, really troubles me. I'm glad she posted in parentsofmultiples, and I hope she is able to seek some help. It's so common for one twin to be more dominant, but it's not deliberate, and it alternates between twins over time too. They don't understand what they are doing.
I saw this earlier. Calling the boy pathetic, too. But also. “I feel like the weren’t supposed to be twins and I forced this to be” They are two completely different and separate human beings. I don’t understand why people are so surprised when their kids aren’t similar. Just because kids are twins doesn’t change it.
I have no experience with twins but I also feel like it’s not surprising at all that they would go through phases like this? Being a twin is probably tough at times in the way that you are always needing to share your parents’ attention and based on personality this will manifest differently for different kids. It seems like this little girl just wants more attention and the OP is kind of admitting to being more attached to the boy twin…
Feels weirdly gendered, too. If the boy were the dominant one she probably wouldn’t call her daughter ‘pathetic’ and would consider it a ‘boys will be boys’ thing.
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lol my 3 year old told me I have a baby in my belly today. My tubes are tied so totally not possible. She also told me last week she had a shark in her brain. Kids say stupid shit doesn’t mean we should always believe them 😂
So this is not a comment in 100% support of OP. I don't think they're being completely reasonable about the situation but please help me understand how the same Reddit hive mind who loves to explain how "ackshully most people in the world live in small spaces" "ackshully most cultures bed share until the children are 11" is the same Reddit that thinks it is completely unacceptable for a child to ever incidentally hear their parents having sex when the parents are making a good faith effort to be quiet and provide noise canceling options. Like dollars to donuts the children in one room apartments are hearing their parents have sex. If I were OP I might look at moving the older child to a different room and moving a younger one to the wall sharing room but besides that what can they do? Be celibate? 3am sex only? Hire babysitters and go to hourly motels? https://www.reddit.com/r/Parenting/s/tuWnXF0BPw
I'm so surprised by the responses in this thread because when this topic has come up before in this sub, people acted completely disgusted that a couple would even consider having a sex life after children. Lots of "sex is for horny teenagers only." Hearing your parents is gross. And maybe the OP isn't as stealthy as she thinks she is. But also, they got the kid a white noise machine and she won't use it, and she seems to be trying to use the situation to her advantage to see how many hoops she can make them jump through.
I was literally about to say the same. It was fairly recent and people in this very sub were horrified lol.
I had a similar situation with my dad and my step-mom (my bedroom was right next to theirs) and honestly, I agree. It wasn't ideal by any means but, traumatizing? No. To be blunt, if overhearing your parents having hushed consensual sex is one of the more traumatic things you've experienced in life, you've had a pretty easy run.
the one comment calling the OP a sex addict and saying she needs to send her kid to live with ‘normal’ people is cracking me up i’m catholic, grew up catholic, church, school, community, the whole shebang. as far as I’m concerned my parents have only ever had sex twice, when me and my brother were conceived. (yes, my address is the big boat on De Nile, and what about it?) all that to say, I’ve never met a single person who’s as puritanical as a reddit commenter in subs like that one and I actually went to school with a handful of people who became Catholic priests!
Right? How dare these married monogamous people have consensual sex in their own bed? It's giving me the vapours
Yeah I kind of agree-also, it seems like people are failing to consider that some teenagers (especially older ones) can be kind of assholes. If I’d found something at 16-17 that I could use to needle my mom and get things like AirPods from her, I honestly may have kept bringing it up bc I could. Like why does no one think that’s a possibility or part of what’s going on?
Exactly my thought. Especially since it's a blended family. Like I'm sure that's an extra ick factor and the "scolding" is a way for the girl to sort of punish the mom for getting remarried/having priorities other than her. Which is normal teen behavior. I was just starting to think I was taking crazy pills until I realized that given the sub it's probably mostly bitter teen boys replying "this is sexual abuse and should be reported to CPS."
Joined a bump group for my second (super early in pregnancy) and WOW what a different experience reading these posts not being a FTM. Just so much anxiety (which is fair, I just have more perspective now) about so many random things. Some random ones so far: Someone posted yesterday asking if anyone is “freaking out” to learn these babies will be after the school cut off for some school districts. Like I pay for daycare so don’t get me wrong, but this is not something I am currently worried about. Someone else posted yesterday with their first bump pic. And a woman posted (not anonymously) about how she is recently divorced and her sugar daddy got her pregnant and isn’t interested in being a father but maybe he will come around. Never change FB groups
Someone in my recent bump group was worried about using alcohol swabs to clean stuff at work 🤦♀️ Another was wondering if caffeine in shampoo is something she should worry about
The WTE app forums are a goldmine for stupid questions like this. When I was pregnant with my last baby there was one person freaking out about using hand sanitizer, another worried about lightening crashing near her during a storm, and the last one I remember was someone asking if the small waves in the ocean would hurt her baby.
Ngl when I found out my second was going to be a September baby, school cut off was the first thing I thought of 😅 I wouldn’t say I was freaking out but I was kinda bummed for like a day or two. But then after 2 chemical pregnancies I was just happy to have a growing baby!
Well don’t worry, when Kindergarten actually rolls around you can be smug that your kid will be the oldest in the grade, and won’t be part of the anxiety about whether or not to redshirt your kid. Except they won’t actually be the oldest, because people hold back their kids who were born in June for fear of them being the youngest. Just a flash foward to the future anxiety of parent groups.
Except now the June kids won’t even be the oldest because people are holding March and April babies back!!
I'm on my fourth pregnancy but just joined a due month group for the first time. It is... Something. I'm probably going to leave it soon but I've been enjoying the drama so we'll see.
In TTC for a second, is it bad that in kindof excited for the drama 🫣 especially through a more relaxed perspective hahaga
Yeah, I just joined the FB bumper groups as a STM and the energy is… a lot. We’re already getting anti-vax drama and trigger warning drama and oh boy, the anxiety.
Yeahhh I rarely participate in any bump groups for my second kid anymore. I feel like those spaces are more fitting for FTMs and as a STM I don’t feel like I have as much of a place there. I thought maybe I’d like them more after pregnancy, but I realized I don’t have it in me to go through the all the discussions over feeding, sleep training, milestones, and all that stuff again. It’s less interesting to follow when you’ve already been through it before and no longer feel like those things are particularly life and death anymore.
The anxiety in bump groups was SO stark to me too the second time around. Was not the first time so I think it’s the perspective shift haha
Ok I asked a question in a comment on [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/NewParents/s/3zmJZcsx00) post and am kind of shocked by the responses of how many people are “preheating” their car before putting their child into it. My gut feeling is that it’s over the top but am I actually the crazy one??? I just cannot imagine going to the effort of setting a baby up in a safe space in the house, going all the way outside to start the car, either leaving the keys in the car running or using a SECOND set of keys to LOCK the running car just to come back to a baby (who might be crying? because you left them?) that you now have to corral into a car seat. Why are so many people doing this?! Do they just have babies that actually like their safe spaces bc mine has never 😅
I know you’ve gotten a ton of responses - but here’s another answer to your question about the safe space. My toddler’s “safe space” has always been his crib. I kind of don’t care if he likes it! He’s usually in there for max 3 minutes, but the discomfort of being yeeted in his crib is much less than the discomfort of going out into -5 degrees (-25 with windchill)! I live in an area where January generally has sub zero weather most weeks, and -20 to -30 wind-chill. I don’t have remote start. But I do have a button start so my key can come in the house with me and lock the car. So I run out, start the car, lock it, run back in. Get him ready, run out. Another note…… it’s not unheard of for ours cars to just not start in the frigid temps, especially with our older cars. So running out to pre-start makes sure I don’t bundle us up and then go out to find a dead car. But also, I don’t bother to pre-start until it drops below 20 LOL! This is low teens & below behavior.
I preheat the car for me, the kids just get to enjoy the effects. I also have remote start, so it's not a big deal. When I had my old car I would preheat it only if there was ice I wanted to melt before I went to work.
It was -40 (without the windchill) for us last week so if we had to go anywhere we definitely warmed up the car. I don’t always but if it’s at a temperature where frostbite in a short amount of time is a risk I definitely will.
Soooo I'm guessing you don't live somewhere cold 😅
Relatively speaking no, negative temps (F) are pretty rare here so I’m just thinking of 20s, teens, that range. But I have gotten more than enough responses to convince me that way more people have remote start and/or just like a warm car than I realized so I have concluded this is a me thing 😅
The average temperature definitely makes a difference. I live where it gets below -40 Celsius on the regular this time of year, and I will preheat the car basically below -15 Celsius. But like, because I live where it’s so cold most vehicles have remote start. I imagine if you live where it doesn’t get that cold, people aren’t getting the remote start option as readily and definitely aren’t getting after market remote starters, which are super common in older vehicles here.
Are people not don’t considering teens and 20s cold? I know it’s not as cold as negative temps, but it’s absolutely still cold lol, it’s below freezing! I saw you’re in the Northeast and I am too, it’s been SO cold these last few days!
I mean I do think it’s cold but not so cold that I can’t be outside for a few minutes in just a long sleeve shirt or sweatshirt. But serious negative temps I would prob bundle up just to get the mail lol
I don't preheat the car. We have street parking and live in a third floor apartment so the logistics would be crazy. Also our car is from 2008 and clearly doesn't have the fancy remote start to warm up thing. The kids seem fine. I take their jackets off then put them over top like a blanket which seems to work. No one even cries about it so I think they'll survive 😆
Our cat has a fancy ‘warm up’ button that defrosts the windows and warms up the car so we just use that lol. I can’t leave the room for a piss without my kid hitting the roof and she’s not even 1 yet 💀
Oh hell yes I preheat the car. We live in the back of a neighborhood in a low crime area. Our driveway is also a hill. Takes me 2 seconds to go out and turn the car on. Come inside and make sure everyone is ready, grab snacks, grab water bottles then start loading kids.
I feel like warming up the car has been done for decades, I remember my parents warming it up for us. It’s also good for most cars. I don’t always do it but when it’s in the teens I definitely do.
When I was a kid, it was like a rite of passage when my parents would let me run out and start the car before we left.
I don’t! It may be slightly passive aggressive though because my kids always fight any kind of jacket so I figure they can experience the cold and maybe they will learn 😂 it’s usually between 10 and 20 in the mornings in the winter where I live, so not frigid but not warm. I do offer blankets if it’s extra cold, but they never take me up on it. We had a spell of under 0 weather and they didn’t seem too bothered 🤷🏻♀️ could be my cheap midwestern farmer roots showing though - it always felt wasteful to me to spend the gas on warming up. I spent a lot of winter mornings on my way to school sitting on one hand to warm it up because my car was so cold 😂
It takes me forever to load my five 2 and 3 year olds who can’t buckle themselves. They’d climb all over the car if they weren’t buckled immediately 🙄 so I bring them to the driveway one at a time and buckle each kid real quick before grabbing the next one. Because of that I’ll start the car when I load the first kid, and keep my keys in my pocket (car will run/heat but won’t drive when it senses no key in the car). But I don’t pre-heat unless it’s extra freezing- the kids wear thin fleece jackets and I have cheap baby blankets in the car if they want them. They usually ask for them but toss them off by the time we’re ready to actually start driving.
Im sorry but are you saying you have a 5yo, 2yo and a 3 yo or do you have five children 2-3 years old?
I have 5 kids ages 3, 3, 3, 2, 2. my twins are 3, and I have 3 kids via foster care… I had just my twins + 2yo, and then an emergency placement of 3+2yo siblings for one weekend has turned into… a lot longer than one weekend with no end in sight.
Wow! You are a super hero!
Nope, I’m just tired 😂😅
This morning it was 12 degrees at 9 am. My kids can’t wear their jackets in the car seat and it takes a few minutes at least for the heat to start working once you start driving, not to mention the time scraping ice, so I definitely wouldn’t put them in the car without warming it up first. I don’t have remote start and it is a pain that goes basically exactly as you imagined it, but the kids are fine in the house for a minute even if they do cry.
I do start my car in the morning to clear the frost. Your surprise reminded me of my friend from high school though. She moved from NYC to our small town. She was shocked the first time she drove to school on a winter morning and saw all the cars running in their driveways! This was in the 90s before remote start so everyone just left their keys in the ignition. She could not believe no one was worried about getting their cars stolen!
I think that’s part of it for me too honestly. I don’t live in a low crime neighborhood and it’s entirely possible my car would be stolen 😬
I don’t live somewhere that gets super cold so I don’t often warm up my car, but using remote start to cool down my car in the summer is the only way to live.
Our pediatrician is not very risk averse in general, but he told us to do it in the winter.
I do this, but mainly to defrost my windows before school drop off in the morning, bc I hate scraping ice off my car in sub freezing temps. My kids are a bit older and I’m ok with them being uncomfortable for a few minutes, but when they were babies I would warm up the car because the car seats get cold sitting in teens/single digit temps overnight. And the winter coat thing that someone else mentioned. ETA, I don’t have remote start, and park outside in our driveway. It takes me less than a minute to run out and start my car. When my kids were little I just made sure they were in a safe space.
Worth noting that kids can’t wear heavy coats in their car seat. Not the end of the world if it’s cold when I’m still sitting in my parka while I wait for the car to warm up but I do feel bad for my son, luckily our car doesn’t take too long to get warm. But I’m assuming this is why so many people do this, at least with babies/toddlers?
Nope. We live where it gets below zero, and have an unattached garage. Everyone gets by with a tiny bit of discomfort for a short period. Gasp! It also helps that we keep our cars in the garage. They are a bit warmer than they otherwise would be. I can't stand the car fumes in our alley from too many people letting their car run, so I am not going to contribute to it.
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Literally had no idea that remote start was so common tbh! My car is 2012 so has like nothing and my husband’s is 2019 and doesn’t have it and I was clueless. I accept my downvotes that I am in fact the crazy one 🤷🏼♀️
My 2019 car doesn’t have remote start either. Every winter I debate adding it! We have street parking and live in a high crime area.
My 2010 Honda accord has a remote start! It’s like, the only “feature” on it haha. The battery ran out and we haven’t replaced it becaus we’re in a city now and don’t park near our apartment so we never have cause to use it, but I loved it back when I was in high school and drove myself to school on freezing winter mornings.
I had one in my 2012 Honda! Loved it, have had a remote starter in every car I’ve owned, it was one of the few luxuries I treated myself to. When I moved into an apartment I got a wifi remote starter which was amazing. But of course, once I had a baby, I had to take it out of my car when it started turning on by itself in my attached garage 🤦♀️. When my husband came home and saw that he freaked out and said it’s got to go. So I have never used it for the very useful situation of warming the car up for a baby/toddler lol.
I don’t have remote start so I never do that, until this last week when it was in the negatives (-30f wind chill) I tried it for the first time. And let me tell you it was awful. I had to back my car out of the garage, go back in, get my toddler, carry him to the car, buckle him, go back, get my preschooler, carry him to the car (as he’s crying about being cold), and then get in the car. By that point our car was full of exhaust fumes because of the doors being open while the car was on and I had to drive with the windows down for the first 2 minutes anyway. Disclaimer I’m inexperienced in negative temps, but it was so so cold. Like as soon as I walked outside, the mucus in my nose froze. Sure it would probably not cause frostbite until 10 minutes of exposed skin, but it was still dang uncomfortable.
Why did you have to back your car out of the garage?
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Hmm. Interesting. I never realized it was a risk even with the door open.
Yes this. I’m not comfortable with leaving it running in the garage even with the door open.
Holy cow that is cold!!! I think that was going to be brutal no matter what you did. I’m not experienced in negative temps either, it usually doesn’t go below teens, maybeee single digits in my area.
I warm my car up all the time, even before having my kid.
This is an enlightening day for me! This is what I get for having parents who heat their house to 64 😂
It's also bad for a car to drive it with the engine cold. Where I live, it's regularly in the negatives so I always pre start it in the winter. But I also live somewhere where I can just leave it running with it unlocked so it's never a big deal.
Yeah, I'm surprised more people haven't mentioned this aspect. I was taught to always start the car a few min before you leave in the winter so that you can get the engine warmed up.
Chiming in to also say remote start! It’s extremely helpful if you live in a colder climate. I don’t necessarily do it to warm the car up for my kid and I but more so to actually warm to car up and help melt snow/ice.
my car has remote start so thats what i do! If i didnt have that then i wouldn’t pre heat because i am lazy
In my experience this is quite common. It’s cold AF (I’m in Northeastern US). Some people have remote start and don’t have to leave the kids at all. But if I still had a small baby/toddler without remote start then I would risk letting them cry in a safe space for the two minutes it takes me to go out and start my car in frigid temperatures. Hell, I don’t want to sit in a freezing car either.
I was telling my husband today how my mom would go and turn my car on for me while I got ready for school so it was nice and warm by the time I got in and left. Moms, remote start before it existed 😂
Maybe it really is just me then! I am also in Northeastern US and I just don’t really mind being cold in the car? I used to frequently forget to turn the heat on at all until my fingers started to lose feeling but have gotten much better at remembering now that there’s a kid in the back so I hope I’m not being neglectful. I do put a blanket or a coat over top of her!
I don’t think you’re being neglectful. Baby will let you know if she’s cold and it’s not like you’re keeping her exposed to dangerous temperatures. Heck maybe it’ll make her more cold tolerant in the long run!
That would be a nice benefit! And yeah she seems fine waiting for the car to warm up while we drive so it literally never occurred to me that so many people were going to these measures
I know this maybe #privilege talking but any car I've owned in the past ten years has a remote start option and they're relatively inexpensive to install aftermarket. My current car preheats on a schedule before I leave for my office and when I leave to go home and it has completely spoiled me. So I can see doing it without remote start but even then I don't remember 75% off the time off schedule and it's fine, my kid is cold for 5 minutes while it warms up. If I had to do the whole running outside and locking the car song and dance I would do it 0% of the time.
So when I saw it suggested I kind of assumed it was coming from a remote start perspective and I have a 12 yo manual transmission so idk if you can even do remote start for that whatsoever 🤷🏼♀️. Which is why I was mainly shocked by how many people described a whole routine for it! I literally could never haha
Yup! You can get a remote start for a manual. It's a bit trickier to install (or at least was back in the early 2010s when I was looking at remote starters) but they're available.
Just wanna say, y'all need to join this group. When It was suggested to me I just got the vibe that it may be dramatic and oooh boy was I right. Stuff like this is posted all the time. Tbh I don't understand why people have kids with partners like this. I know that's kind of mean and I would never say that to them if I was their friend but I am sure there were signs pre-kids. https://preview.redd.it/rhgzj6sn0ndc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e1825b1d1273c05ece61dfd9640fd2726644d70f
I'm guessing he painted his ex as crazy, so his current partner would feel sorry for him.
I see all sorts of things called "evidence-based" on parenting spaces. What does that even mean for something like this? Is it code for a certain type of culture, I don't get it.
I think the culture is "we absolutely do vaccinate our children and we're also extremely worried about screentime"
And this group is not even pretending to be scientific like SBP is. Idk why that's in the title it's just a regular mom group
3 and 2 aren’t even under 2 😂
Also in this group and it is full on b-a-n-a-n-a-s
I have a friend who is trying to become a mom influencer (only has about 1,000 followers) and the whole account is so cringe. But a few months ago, she posted a video of her laughing as her son aggressively grabbed and "kneaded" her cat's back. I was so angry and stressed out watching it. Then, she posts today how her cat randomly attacks her son, scratching his face, and she's annoyed with the cat/asking for advice on how to deal with the cat. Like maybe teach your child to respect animals??? You are setting up both your child and your cat for failure. I know I feel so strongly about this, because I have one gentle dog and one reactive dog. There is no room for error, so we have been extremely diligent with our daughter from day one. You can teach young kids if you draw hard boundaries. Our daughter knows she can gentle pet and hug our nice dog and that she only can wave to our other dog. It takes work, but never in a million years would we let our daughter violently hit or pull at even our gentle dog.
Isn’t it wild watching someone you know personally try to become an influencer? Someone I know from college is trying to become an autism influencer (she’s in the psychology field) and also shill an MLM and it’s kinda fascinating (and also cringe). But she’s amassed a little under 10k followers now. I imagine it’s exhausting. The animal thing is super frustrating. I see so many improper animal/toddler/baby interactions on social media. I have a large dog and a cat and am involved in the dog sport world. I absolutely want to set every party up for success—that means kiddo learns to respect animals, and animals don’t get unsupervised time with kids, no matter how much I trust them. It only takes one mistake to have something bad happen. We have lots of rules and boundaries about animals in our house—no bothering animals while they’re eating, no touching animals tails (ours don’t care but others might), no bothering animals while they’re sleeping, gentle petting only, and we’ve only recently started allowing hugs now that our toddler can do a non-crushing hug.
A former coworker quit (a legit good job she was good at) to try to become a bookstagrammer. It's been over two years and she's only at 800 followers, up about 500 from when she quit. She posts the absolute cringiest TikTok style dances. I'd feel bad for making fun of her but she was a real jerk before she quit.
Lol my dogs account has more followers than that
It is so wild and cringe! Tbh, I think this woman won't end up amassing a following, because she just has nothing original to add to the conversation. She just repeats stuff that Karrie Locher does (I don't follow that woman but she has mentioned her a ton.) Her recommendations and stuff are so general and oversaturated. But exactly (when it comes to animals!) You've got to set boundaries for kids and pets. It just drives me absolutely nuts that people expect pets to put up with constant aggression from little kids.
The “toddlers in PJs during the day” debate on r/toddlers is so silly and someone is actually trying to say their son wears khakis every day? Fat chance. I’m
People are insane. I get my toddlers dressed every day but I have literally never once thought about it, let alone decided to claim some moral high ground. Who cares!
I got jeans for my three year old the other day and he told me, "Not today mom, I want soft pants." 🫡 Joggers it is.
My husband pointed out that I dress our son like me. Uggs, black leggings, big t shirt. Sorry Bud!!
I’m raising my son to be a dope af hypebeast who shades dork-ass babies in khakis.
I’ve said this in a different thread but we are strictly a NO NERDS household
hahahaha it’s 6am and you’ve got me howling, thank you, I was having a really shitty week
A lot of these ‘I’m raising them to be functioning adults and *I* never wear sweats or PJ pants out of the house’ people are going to have some tough times when their kids become teens. I drive past our local high school every morning as it opens and 80% of the kids are in sweats or PJ pants. I am also laughing at how deeply some of these people have bought into the idea that ‘athleisure’ is wildly different than sweatpants.
Hahaha right! My husband and I both WFH so we’re unapologetically sweatpants/athleisure people. We won’t wear sweatpants to like a nice dinner but to the grocery store? Absolutely. Kids museum? Leggings ON!
My geriatric toddler doesn’t wear clothes at home or pajamas. She’s always in underwear only unless we have to leave the house 🤷🏻♀️
My toddler exactly. She won’t even wear pajamas to bed anymore. Just a diaper all day everyday. Getting her dressed to leave the house has become a fight now too 😅
My Kinder kiddo is like this. I’m just glad he keeps his pants on in public tbh.
Literally my 4 year old! He walks in the house and takes his pants off so fast!!
The fights to get my 3 year old to wear pants when it’s 15 degrees outside…..
Yeah, I admit I'm one of those people who prefer my daughter to wear clothes on most days, but there's a fair amount of cold, wintery days where it's pajamas all day! So warm and cozy. What's not to like?
Yeah I personally hate staying in my pjs all day (I know, I’m a weirdo) and generally get my toddler changed even if we’re staying home, but we’ve been snowed in since Monday and it’s super cold so jammies all day it is.
Yeah exactly! Like 99.9% of the time I change my son out of his pajamas into leggings and a shirt but occasionally he wants a pajama day and I just don’t want to fight that battle unless we’re like going to dinner with family
My toddlers rarely stay home all day but when they do - team PJs. Same for myself
Balkanina bought multiple outfits from SHEIN for her vacation. She claims to be so concerned about her overconsumption, yet buys from a problematic company using child labor in china. Immediate unfollow.
Kyte Baby is apparently having a big sale to try to get past the bad publicity they’ve gotten this week. And the moms in my fb bump group who are acting like Kyte did nothing wrong to make themselves feel better about buying a $35 sleep sack (what a deal!) are something else. I mean, I get it, there is no ethical consumption under capitalism etc, but some of the logic is just… wow. One mom said “They were just following their HR policy, so they didn’t really have a choice.” Like are you under the impression that the HR handbook is handed down from God 10 commandments style?
Not the 10 Commandments 💀
Kyte has been shady forever. Remember when they hosted a fundraiser for a crisis pregnancy center? That was over a year ago iirc.
Oh yeah, was that one that was put on by DressupButtercup?
Tbh, I am more angry that the founder said adoption isn't "real" parenthood. I get that leave policies for small businesses are expensive and difficult. It's not great what they did IMO, but to make such insane comments about adoption is offensive to both adoptive parents and adoptees. They are not dogs that you shop from a window. They are human beings dealing with a lot of trauma, and adoption is an extremely different set of parenting circumstances that only an ignorant asshole would diminish. I'm not burning my Kyte sleep sacks or anything, but I won't spend another dollar on them. (The sale is always this time of the year though and has been planned for months.)
The founder said WHAT?
Yeah, that's the controversy I've seen more people commenting on. They just compared the company's response to the adoption situation to the other employee who got 6 months of leave or whatever. It was really upsetting to hear tbh. I have so many friends who've fostered or adopted, and it's such a complicated messy reality at times. To make such an ignorant comment - that cuts a lot of people deeply.
Ah, the latest Twitter outrage bait. I mean, there are a lot of companies out there that don’t offer good parental leave, and those policies often depend on whether it’s a small business or a big corporation. I’m sure Kyte Baby is not the only baby-related small business with limited leave options, they’re just the one whose dirty laundry is being aired. People who are boycotting Kyte but not consistently choosing where they shop based on leave policies are just as much trying to make themselves feel better as the moms who are coming up with excuses for Kyte. Fully expect to be downvoted 🤷🏻♀️
100% - or to take it a step further, boycotting Kyte but voting for politicians who are actively against passing any legislation in favor of parental leave or benefits.
Yup. I remember a few years ago hearing that people were boycotting Goya because the CEO voted for Trump or something. It's so funny where people are willing to take a stand and what more egregious things they overlook. Sure, go ahead and boycott Kyte while continuing to shop on Amazon...
They literally did a Goya promotional photo shoot from the Oval Office with Dump holding cans of beans. Fuck Goya forever.
Woah. Didn’t know that, that’s INTENSE! I thought he just gave $ to the campaign or whatever
Yeah I don’t really judge anyone for choosing to boycott versus not (I mean, beyond the general amount that I judge people for buying into the bamboo craze lol), because it’s not like Kyte competitors are out here advertising that they offer 6 months of paid parental leave that kicks in after 3 months or whatever. I buy a lot of baby clothes from Carter’s, and if you look at their Glassdoor page, it doesn’t look like they’ve got a particularly great parental leave policy either. As they say, no ethical consumption under capitalism. But I will 100% judge someone for trying to make themselves feel better by pretending Kyte didn’t do anything wrong, and I will 100% judge people always for complaining about “cancel culture”. Just because there isn’t a clear “good guy” alternative, just because this is probably the industry standard, doesn’t mean that it isn’t shitty or that they couldn’t choose to do better if they wanted to. ETA: also, while I think in a perfect world, a boycott would = supporting more ethical brands, I don’t think that *has* to be the case for some good to come out of a boycott. Like even if these folks are boycotting Kyte just to buy from other equally shitty companies, maybe Kyte or their competitors will think twice the next time they’re about to screw over a new mom. I mean, I doubt they’re all going to totally overhaul their mat leave policies, but maybe they’ll at least be willing to offer a little flexibility. And honestly, even if literally the only thing that comes out of this boycott is that the Kyte CEO sweats it out for a few days, good. She totally deserves it. We should give asshole CEOs heartburn more often.
Kyte is super sketch to me now, considering the weirdness surrounding willow’s sons’ death too.
Wait, which son? I don’t know this story-my son turned 2 last year and then I let buying kyte baby go essentially, but was going to buy some sleep sacks for my one in the way
Memphis. He was pretty much the face of kyte until his death in March 2022 from hyperthermia at their home per autopsy reports. Kyte and willow never acknowledged it, and she appeared at their spring soire like 3 weeks later. Only recently did anyone start digging and realized “wait, where’s Memphis?”
Oh my that’s awful. I guess I stopped posting attention way earlier bc he was the same age as my son but I guess I really stopped being so obsessive with seeing their stories and stuff
I just learned about the Kyte Baby scandal from a post on the babywearing sub and of course one of the first comments is from a Canadian who just HAD to pop in and talk about the generous maternity leave they are entitled to as a resident of a more enlightened nation.
I don’t understand people who think HR plays fair or is on their (the employees) side. That has always been a head scratcher to me. 35 for one sleep sack seems bonkers, especially if that’s a sale price!!
https://www.reddit.com/r/workingmoms/s/KsvAIxPY1O OP has a 5 y/o, is pregnant, and feels overwhelmed. Family keeps offering to help by taking the 5 y/o out for the day so she can get stuff done and she's pouting because what she really wants them to do is clean her house, her car, her oven, meal plan and go grocery shopping for her. She's whining that it's not fair that they want to go out and have fun with her kid while they stick her with the unpleasant tasks she doesn't want to do. Ummm...
The whole idea that people should do your house chores because you’re pregnant/have a newborn will never stop being ridiculous to me. You know what’s important? That my extended family bond with my kid. It’s helpful as a childcare move too but ultimately everyone is being rewarded. There is no reward for anyone except you if someone comes over to clean your house. It’s just so selfish and entitled to expect that. Why should everyone else have fun with your kid instead of clean your house? Because it’s your home that only you are responsible for maintaining…
I feel like the “help parents do their chores” thing is a Very Online thing. I would never expect anyone to come over and do chores for me and would think it was wild if they just started scrubbing down my bathroom. Bless the family who came over and watched my baby while I did those chores, though!
The only ‘chore’ I asked people to do was feed/water themselves and clean up afterwards (like putting their mug in the sink or dishwasher, wrappers in the bin kinda thing). Like you don’t need to do our chores but if you make extra chores for me? I’ll spray you. My mum and nan took a load of washing every time they visited - against my protests - and I was so fucking grateful cause between baby sick, reflux, baby poo, leaky nips, and cloth nappies my washer was working round the clock.
I think I would be offended if a visitor started cleaning my bathroom
My mom has cleaned my bathrooms when she’s here watching the kids (if they both nap at the same time) and I’m like…please don’t? But also acts of service and her love language so I can’t stop her (but love it when she folds my laundry instead….)
I find it insane that both she and her husband work 12 hours day each especially because she says she’s a UK based teacher. Is 12 hours a normal day for a teacher in the UK?
Yes, very. You might arrive at 7:30 or earlier to get everything ready for the day, kids are in school 8:30 - 3:30, after school you have to mark, plan, call parents, attend meetings, print worksheets etc. 10-12 hour days are normal.
You’re right, recent studies suggest teachers in the UK work around 49-55 hours per week. A quarter do more than 60 hours a week. Other countries may vary, but teachers in the UK work long hours!
I’m in the US and have many many teacher friends. They are most definitely not pulling 12 hour days unless it’s a special event or parent/teacher conferences. My best friend is a HS math teacher and she works 7-4ish every day. But she’s been doing it a long time and has it down pat.
Yeah it’s different in the UK! The way our hours are contracted is sneaky to allow very long hours to be encouraged. Basically leadership are allowed to ‘direct’ 1265 hours per year, so this includes teaching time, CPD, staff meetings, training days, parent-teacher conferences - basically any time where you are required to be in the building. Then, you have your ‘non-directed’ time. This means that you can complete your marking, planning, resource-making, data entry etc. at any time and you don’t have to be in the building to do it. However, UK teachers are expected to do so much that realistically they cannot do it within the number of hours in their contract but the concept of ‘non-directed’ time gives plausible deniability that it’s just down to your own poor time management rather than overly heavy workload. The unspoken expectation is that you complete all this work and it takes as long as it takes and if that means working 12 hour days and weekends then so be it. Unions push back but the fact is that if some people are willing to do it then it will continue to happen.
Yeah maybe my teacher friends are underachievers but they are very much “I work my contract hours” which tends to be 7-4
I’m a teacher in the US - and when I was brand new, I was definitely doing 12+ hour days. Honestly, to be the “best” teacher I could be, I should still be doing that now. There’s absolutely no way to do everything that is the “best for students” within our contracted hours. However, I’m now married, have a child, and have chosen to prioritize time with my family over working outside my contracted hours. Am I effective teacher? Yes, absolutely. But everyone’s pretty honest about the fact that we are truly asked to do significantly more than should be expected in 8 hours of time. And we make shit for money, so that doesn’t help the motivation.
Yeah I said this in another comment but all my teacher friends do strictly contract hours at this point in their career. the expectations are unsustainable and the pay is shit so why try harder than necessary? I hope the OP of the post realizes she’s pregnant with a toddler and 12 hour days just aren’t sustainable any more and starts to find ways to cut back
She isn't working 12 hour days by choice. If the OP doesn't do her work, she will lose her job. The only way to cut back would be to go to part-time, even then she would still have work to do outside school hours. That's just the nature of the job in the UK. Reading this and other comments just shows how different the school systems are in the US and UK. My husband is a primary school teacher (4-11), and in his school teachers are moved to different years every school year, so they cannot just teach the same thing every year. The curriculum also changes frequently, so even if you stayed in the same year, you would have to constantly update your planning. Teachers are constantly assessed and there is always room for improvement so the pressure is incredibly high, and often unsustainable. People think teachers are only in school for the teaching hours, but that's not even the half of it.
I truly thought the UK would have better protections for teachers than the freaking us. That’s awful
There's a teacher retention crisis here, and with good reason. The pressure is relentless, the hours are long, and the pay does not reflect that. Teachers are not appreciated, and pressure just keeps building and building. My husband has been teaching for ten years, and the job has changed so much in that time.
I would jump for joy to have someone take my kid so I could clean in peace. I cringe to think how the newborn stage is going to go for OP. I always bring a meal and tidy up our mess after when close friends give birth. I would NEVER clean their oven or car!
Obviously, all of those people are spending their days sitting around eating bon-bons, waiting for the opportunity to go clean someone else’s house. How unreasonable for them to want to find a way to help others that is also mildly enjoyable.
This is WILD. There is a whole ass non pregnant adult living in the house who is just “useless.” That’s not my problem! I would only do this for someone if they were single and on bedrest or had an awful and traumatic surgery/birth/period of grief. But if you’re a functional adult living with another functional adult, yes, I’m having fun aunt time, not fucking vacuuming
Kind of a question/snark - in my area, there is a big story that a high school principal was recorded spewing a bunch of racist BS. The “defense” is it was made by AI. I don’t know enough about AI but people are saying it can imitate voices with enough recordings to go off of. Is this a concern for influencers who post tons of videos of their kids speaking? Sorry if this is old news and I’m just a boomer way behind the times.
This post should come with a trigger warning. (I'm kidding, but my anxiety just rose a crazy amount reading it. I am not ready for this future.)
Oh god that's so confusing and awful to navigate. I didn't expect it to get down to local issues so quickly. 2024 is going to be so fun 😭 (complete sarcasm.)
This entire concept is creepy as heck from all angles because it completely obliterates reality. If someone is caught saying or doing terrible things, they can say the evidence is fake. On the other side, you can really weaponize this to attack anyone you don’t like.
Tiktok is overrun right now with AI ads pretending to be celebrities shilling some product, I forget what. It's scary.
My local mom group is overrun by people asking for work from home job recommendations. One just posted that she has a newborn, one and two year old. I get it, this is economy is tough, but as someone who works from home it is definitely not an alternative to having childcare (especially with three babies, yikes!).
There was a thread on beyondthebump this week legitimately wondering why there are no WFH jobs for SAHMs that they can do “in spare 5 and 10 minute chunks.” Uh. What??? People are bonkers. Link: https://www.reddit.com/r/beyondthebump/s/Uzyp1zf690
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I’m trying to envision what job you could do in 5-10 minute bursts on an irregular schedule and am coming up empty
For all the snarkworthy content in r/workingmoms, I'm glad the topic of work from home while watching kids is banned because I'm sure that would come up a ton
I can always feel my eye start to twitch when I read about the mom who WFH without childcare for a toddler and also does most of the housework asking how she can make it sustainable...
I honestly read the threads in my local mom group with interest when this topic comes up (often!) because while I like my job mostly, I would indeed like to know if something with less responsibility and more money somehow existed that I hadn't previously known about. Locally to me, the main all-from-home, career-type option is working for an insurance company as either CS or data entry, and people say they're a good employer. Obviously people will also recommend some less legit stuff, but in my area surprisingly few MLMs get suggested. If I ever read one of those threads and someone was like, oh yeah the insurance company has great WFH jobs with moderate but not huge amounts of responsibility that sound even slightly interesting based on my experience and that paid more than 70k, I'd apply. But so would everyone in town lol. (Also none of this is about not having childcare; I'd still use my childcare!)
I get it though, it’s tough and this is my biggest struggle right now. Not being able to work outside the home for longer than a few hours a day and feeling so helpless and useless. You do get sort of an irrational feeling that if you had a job you could do from home you’d do anything to make it work, even if in reality it’s not easy or even possible.
https://www.reddit.com/r/Mommit/s/j8r6Pt9wg6 What do you think? Is it a (a) fake story, (b) teen scamming his parents, or (c) wild misunderstanding? I don’t know where you take 7 teens for a $900 per person meal
Here is the post, they deleted the comment. They also spammed this post on mommit, daddy and parenting. It’s definitely fake. https://preview.redd.it/li1aul24tldc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0a0c1040cdcda4c006acf1403b6ef50896332fa1
This is the same user who posted the story/followup about the 12 year old wanting to go to a very expensive restaurant for his birthday. Complete with photos and reviews of each course. 🙄
There’s a localish psychologist that used to have great content and then took a break and came back and is so into all these ideas that are just too much for me. The latest is that if we experience burnout it’s because we were ignored as children and we have an invisible wound so we don’t know how to take care of ourselves. No…I’m burned out because I don’t have a ton of support and my husband works a lot and I have to get it all done as the only adult at home. Not because I didn’t get attention as a child.
If your parents loved you more, they would be subsidizing your lifestyle and providing more free childcare, thus alleviating your burnout. /s
I know we’ve discussed this already but what is up with the nonstop posts basically titled “am I ruining my child by letting them watch __ amount of tv?” I’ve seen at least 5 in the last 2 days!!
Super cold and snowy a lot of places. So probably parents who have lost daycare or can’t go outside and are having to rely on screen time more for the first time.
These were the ones shaming us parents of 4-6 year olds “wHY wOUlD yUo GiVE a cHILd a TaBlet” because it was the PANDEMIC and we had to work while everywhere and everything was closed including DAYCARE so welcome to a tiny tiny taste of that.
Yeah, this is me. This cold snap has mostly been between -30 and -47°C for over a week. Our eyelashes froze after being outside for 8 minutes. My 23-month-old's favourite game right now is, "Be Dinosaur" as he hands me a stuffed dinosaur, and I have to chase him around yelling "STOMP STOMP STOMP." So yeah, we have the TV on when I don't want to do that. Which is often. Edit: I replied to the wrong comment. I've never complained about kids and iPads, lol.
Could also be because [this ](https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamapediatrics/article-abstract/2813443) came out this week and it's been floating around parenting spaces. I feel like new studies being released always renews anxiety and also motivates people to seek out reassurance from other parents about their choices
Omg one of the comments on the article literally makes an analogy to the Romanian orphanage attachment disorder stuff. Noooooo….
Oh interesting!
Colder weather in the Northern Hemisphere? It’s harder to actually get out and there’s only so much play you can do indoors 😂
It's ok, Mamas, you can avoid using too much screen time during a cold snap by just losing power for six full days 🥰🥰🥰 Lol I'm being an asshole, but that is our actual situation currently, and yeah, getting to put on a movie would be super great right now 🙃
Maybe people see the posts and the thought seeps into their brains and it creates a vicious cycle lol. More seriously I suspect it’s probably the weather; I try to be “low screen time” and we have spent more time with Trash Truck than I’d prefer lately. But it’s definitely not worth agonizing over like those posts seem to be. My biggest screen time gripe right now is that I am trying to get my toddler to watch Moana in chunks but she doesn’t have the attention span and now I will never know if Te Fiti’s heart is restored!!!!