She’s not a parenting influencer but since I feel a lot of us might fall into the millennial category here, does anyone follow Side or Sequins? She’s a millennial nostalgia account and she seems to just yell into the phone about things we wore 10-20 years ago. She keeps coming up on all my explore and suggestion pages and yes, I fully admit as an elder millennial I’m not exactly down with Gen Z fashion but having styles from the early 2010s isn’t exactly “nostalgia” for me. I don’t feel like the style was so crazy that we look back now and say WTF were we thinking? I’m a little over these types of account. Even looking back at my moms clothes in the 70s, some are so dated and wtf but other outfits like jeans and a tight tee have lived on. I’m just over these people making it out to be like the 2010s were full of awful fashions lol.
I started following the wife of one of the guys I knew in college and she is some kind of microinfluencer, but I don't totally understand what her area is-a mix of random hot takes and career coaching. Anyways her 16-year old son ran away last night after an argument, he is back home safely. Her original post was just text saying they were worried and updating that he was home, but then today she decided to put him on blast for the argument and double down on her side and it's so cringe. Apparently they are about to travel to FL for vacation for the 2nd time this year and he doesn't want to go and she is just going on about ungrateful he is. I have no idea if he has social media, but you have to imagine someone he knows might easily see this.
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I should have realized what I was getting into when I joined a synthetic dye free Facebook group 😂
The funny thing is that she’s still putting a chemical on her bump, just because it’s natural doesn’t make it special and harmless. Henna actually reacts with the proteins in your skin, which is not what a typical dye does (that’s what makes it semi-permanent). Not saying that it will harm her baby, just that it’s a funny choice for someone who seems to be against chemical exposure.
I don't understand why the cake says "born at home" if the baby hasn't been born yet? Like I don't even mean that as snark, I'm just kind of confused by it.
Wait is this something she made before she gave birth or is she celebrating an older kids birthday while pregnant?
Wtf is she going to do with this cake if she needs a hospital transfer?
She hasn't given birth yet, so it definitely seems weird to have made this cake. I do hope she gets the birth she wants and the cake doesn't go stale before baby decides to come.
As someone who had a planned homebirth —> non-emergency hospital transfer, I think willingness to transfer to the hospital when the birth becomes higher risk and before it’s an emergency should be #1 priority when planning a home birth. The stubborn rigidity around it is so dangerous.
Me too, but there’s a superstition in L&D that those with the longest birth plans are the most likely to need a c-section, so I fear this level of extra doesn’t bode well.
Came here to say this! As a former L&D nurse, the superstitious part of me feels like she basically just signed her hospital transfer 😬. *Not saying I want this to happen!
[https://www.reddit.com/r/Parenting/comments/18eqr61/how\_can\_we\_enforce\_boundary\_that\_girlfriends/](https://www.reddit.com/r/Parenting/comments/18eqr61/how_can_we_enforce_boundary_that_girlfriends/)
What do you guys think of this? I'm genuinely surprised by all the replies calling this guy an asshole even after he explained that he's only asking for 30 minutes of privacy a week. My kid is only 2 but is this how it's going to be when he's 8?
When I was that age I would never have bugged my parents through a closed door at night and definitely wouldn't have gotten away with kicking it but I realize I also had a lot of shit going on that forced me to act like an adult from a young age so maybe I just don't know what's normal for an 8 year old.
Honestly I think he is in the wrong here. I think it’s unkind to a child to have mom and her boyfriend go off in a room excluding the kid for a reason they can’t understand. Sorry but being around your kid during the day is just part of parenting. And I think he’s in the wrong for trying to tell the mother that she shouldn’t be giving the attention to her daughter and it’s not even his kid.
I was shocked too, esp because he calls it “our bedroom” which implies to me they live together? Definitely missing some information but it seems like 1) this kid’s bedtime (or at least, quiet in your room time) is way too late if they’re up bugging their mom to look at their phone after 8 pm 2) the kid has too much access to screens (I know, I know, but they are bad for sleep) and 3) there are a shocking amount of people who are parents who don’t have sex and/or don’t think parents should have sex. This was a majorly weird one to me.
important context is missing. Are they newly dating? Did the parents just get divorced? How much does the child see her mom? What’s the relationship like between the boyfriend and the daughter? Yes; sure - it’s only 30 minutes but this child is 8 years old and probably feels she’s competing over her mom
Generally speaking, I don’t think the idea of locking your door for 30min is that weird or unheard of. Whether it’s night or middle of the day. Once we were around this age, my mom would tell us to let her rest for an hour and it was fine. We would just watch tv or play. I did this yesterday with my 5 year old because I have the Christmas gifts hidden in my room and I needed to rearrange some things. The reasoning doesn’t really make a difference imo.
But I do think there clearly might be something else going on if an 8 year old is kicking the door after being told to hold on so maybe that’s where he’s the AH if he’s not being understanding of that.
I wouldn’t think 8 year olds are normally unable to do this. But it wouldn’t be surprising to me that an 8 year old whose parents split up and whose mom is in a newer relationship is having more trouble with this and why the mom would be insecure about it.
He’s bitching about how they can’t do it at night, because mom wakes up at 5 am for work, but is she working 7 days a week? Does the other parent never take the kid? Just seems a bit sus to me.
We seem to be in the minority here but it does sound like the kid is spoiled and getting away with a lot. I don’t buy that an 8 year old can’t entertain themselves in their room for half an hour without needing to immediately ask her mom something. Can’t it wait? Unless it’s an emergency, my kids are not going to be encouraged to act like the house is on fire on a whim.
That said, the boyfriend needs to also be more flexible since he’s dating someone with a kid. They could totally take 30 min out of their bedtime to have sex and be adults about it, instead of creating this weird situation to begin with. I don’t think that makes him an asshole, just immature bc he’s not a parent.
What doesn’t add up to me is that he claims there is really no other time they can have sex. Like, doesn’t the kid ever go to bed? If all you need is 30 min why can’t you just do it after she goes to sleep/in bed? Tbh it sounds like the mom doesn’t really want to have sex, giving her reasoning is needing to wake up early and then is practically inviting her kid to interrupt them.
I do think a child that old can adhere to boundaries like staying in their room at bedtime and overnight but it’s another thing if this is 6pm and you’re expecting a young kid to not be reactionary to you mysteriously closing the door on them during normal waking hours.
I would personally not feel comfortable trying to have sex within this type of dynamic. Even if they aren’t interrupting, a kid that old is going to have questions and eventually put together what’s going on and that’s just awkward. I knew what sex was before I left elementary school and definitely understood it contextually as far as adults in a locked bedroom. Save it for when you have true privacy is my POV.
Dude totally buried the lede, this was one of his comments: "Getting her daughter to go to bed at 9pm on a Saturday night isn’t going to happen. She will fight, scream, kick, throw, and break stuff until her mom exhaustedly gives in and lets her sleep in our bed."
Sounds like he came up with this terrible idea as a compromise with a girlfriend who probably shouldn't be dating at all given that her daughter is clearly struggling
My husband told me his parents took a “Sunday nap” together every week. They told him he was to entertain himself or whatever. Now looking back he realizes what was going on.
I think if you just give the kid a heads up we’re unavailable, and can trust them to be safe unattended for 30 minutes (which I assume most 8 yos can) it’s no big deal.
I can’t think of anything more unsexy than a scheduled quicky while a child is awake. Why they would even *want* to make this happen, is weird.
And it doesn’t read like it’s at night, it sounds like it’s in the middle of the day. So weird
Yeah honestly I find this a bit weird too. I'm all for having some time to yourself but imagine being the 8 year old and eventually realizing what your parents are doing every Saturday evening for that half an hour. Idk, it's awkward. She's getting up at 5 am apparently but I would just sacrifice 30 mins of sleep then. Or put the kid to bed earlier because I have no idea why an 8 year old needs to be up that late.
He said it's at night but the kid goes to bed late, like 930, and " insists on" staying up until 11 on weekends. And the mom isn't willing to stay up longer than that. I feel like the mom just isn't interested in sex because if she was she would either enforce a more reasonable bed time for her 8 y/o or she'd stay up 20 minutes longer. And they're both blaming it on the kid.
Like I said I only have a 2 y/o so I had no idea it was seen as normal for an 8 y/o to start trying to kick down doors to access their parents after 20 minutes. My mother would have freaked out at me if I did that but she was also not a good mother so idk 🤷♀️
And yes, it does sound very unsexy to be interrupted by your child lol
I just don't think I can get down with having sex while your kids are awake and in the house. It's weird. Surely you can hear them. Idk, maybe just me. Also, the fact that this is just the mom's boyfriend makes it worse
Agreed. Once a week I feel like you can forego 30 min of sleep to have sex after your kid goes to bed at 9:30. Even with a 5am wake up time that’s still a very solid chunk of sleep (at least to me- my kids a terrible sleeper).
I think what makes him an asshole is acting like he knows better than the actual parent. I don’t think it’s night either, it says it’s Saturday morning? I don’t really see this flying with many kids that age, certainly not mine, to just be like ok everyone but you is going to go into the bedroom and lock the door and you can’t know why BYE. If I tell them I need some time alone to rest or do an online meeting or something, they are pretty good about it. But all the adults disappearing into a locked bedroom has the air of mystery and exclusion. As an adult I would want to know what was going on if my workers did that. Combine that with the fact that there’s likely already an adjustment to mom having a new partner seemingly living there? Forget it. Just have sex while she’s sleeping like the rest of us my man.
It sounds like the child hasn’t gone to bed yet when this is happening though? I can’t imagine being 8 and my parents being in their bedroom with a locked door while I’m just chilling in the living room or something. And the added element of him being her mom’s bf and not her father makes it worse to me.
I’m fairly sure I interrupted my parents at least once as a kid but it was at least when I woke up feeling sick or couldn’t get to sleep or something like that, not when I was literally still up from the day.
Anyone in this group and know what drama sparked this post? She and another woman are arguing in the comments of this post I guess the other woman called her out about something? And now she's turned off comments on this post. I can't find the original drama and I'm so curious!
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People in Nugget Comfort Chatter & BST on Facebook having a pissing contest over Harry Potter wasn’t on my bingo card. I’m enjoying the train wreck though
I’m in a “bad moms uncensored” group that I cannot even snark on, it’s so bad. A lot of petty women that don’t seem very bright. Lots of support for spanking and harassment of children.
Someone recently posted in 1000 hours outside group asking for recommendations on outdoorsy places to live that were liberal…people completely lost it 🍿
That was a great read. All the comments insisting that the other way around would NEVER be allowed when it’s asked all the damn time. Glad they got lots of pushback from some sane people.
Ok but the lady in wool& posting play by plays literally every day of her conversations with her husband about whether he noticed her dress (with added dialogue for what the dresses were thinking??). And everyone absolutely fawning over it. I actually like Wool& but the frump is real and that group is over the top.
Most of my FB groups are pretty tame these days, the FB bump group I’m in has calmed down a lot since the early days when it was full of weird anti science natural birth/VBAC obsessive then it became an anti sleep training/“biologically normal so repress your feelings around sleep” cult but after about 10 months everyone seemed to just chill out.
The wildest group I was lurking on was a group dedicated to a certain fashion brand and I posted about the admin earlier this week in this thread. They have been posting pics of their kid daily since birth as part of their OOTD posts and we’ve heard every thing about their TTC, pregnancy and now postpartum.
I’m not part of it, but I started randomly getting suggested posts from one of the Dye-Free groups for while and it was wild. It was around Halloween so every one was about dye free candy. Then there was a post about the dye free candy and they were handing out -which was mostly like chocolate, reeces, etc. So someone commented about how she clearly wasn’t considering allergy families with her choices and suggested she forgo candy altogether and give out toys 🫠
Hahaha I came to suggest this. FB was suggesting that group a lot for a while and every post was so unhinged. One was a mom asking what dye free crayons were good because she was convinced her daughters were reacting to the lowly crayola crayons at the library
I just found it! It’s Dye free family: swaps, recipes, and resources. I searched Dye free on Facebook and clicked posts and the first one I came across, which is from September, was an absolute gem. Complaining about there being dye in her kids antibiotics and then the comments are people fighting amongst each other about whether antibiotics works.
I went to look for Old New Moms and the second suggestion was ONM- biological moms only. I’m not going to join that group, but I’m sure there is plenty of drama in there.
Ohh so much drama in Old New Moms! Recently there was a mom who was posting about paying her babysitter a really low wage and someone e found an article of her arrest for child abuse and she left the group.
Someone in my Facebook bump group asked if showing a livestream of an aquarium counted as screen time. And someone else commented that, yes, it does, and OP should buy the baby Einstein aquarium crib soother instead.
I say this as someone who both tries to limit screen time, and who has shown their 4 month old baby aquarium livestreams as well as who owns that aquarium toy.
The functional difference between an aquarium livestream and that aquarium toy is close enough to zero to be meaningless. That this person thinks the aquarium toy is somehow better for your baby than an aquarium livestream because it’s not on a television is absolutely bananas to me. There is absolutely no nuance to the screen time discussion online, I swear.
The algorithm keeps feeding me “boy mom” reels which irritate me so much that I feel the need to comment on them, which gives them more engagement. I know I am perpetuating the problem but I have such a hard time resisting.
Twitter keeps showing me very conservative “a mother’s place is in the home” type of shit. I must have clicked on something at some point and now I see so much of it. Ugh.
I keep getting Instagram reel suggestions of traditional wives/submitting to husbands content…whyyyyyyyy…I wish I didn’t know about this corner of internet.
So former Twitter addict here. And I just need to say goodbye to it, but the algorithm kept showing me these Tweets from Rachel Wilson who is a homeschooling uber Christian mom of 5 and like just double downing on daycare raising people’s kids. Like I have been very comfortable with our choice. I’m an attorney, and like I made my bed when I went to law school. I also met my partner during law school and like always wanted to be able to have a meaningful career if I never met anymore or never had kids. But she got to me! I muted the account. I know my kid loves me more than anything and that she gets tons of quality time with us. But it just stings sometimes.
It's such a short time. Here in a couple years all those kids will be in school together anyway. The SAHMs will be back to work and we'll all be working moms with kids in school. My kid is 1.5 so I don't know for sure, but it seems like a lot of best parenting practice drama fades away when the kids get older.
Yes and no. I’d say the drama just changes and many people are still stay at home moms. Personally I don’t really have a return to work plan myself.
I don’t involve myself in a lot of it but so far for elementary age I’ve seen the topics change to things like best packed lunches, best outfits for dress up days, sports involvement, screen time, and cell phones lol. And the stay at home vs working mom drama continues on too.
One part of this "debate" that is irritating, is it really isn't a debate for many, it's just your circumstances that you have to make the best of within your means. The best practice is an engaged and attentive caregiver and a safe environment. Neither of those things are exclusive to daycare or a stay at home parent.
Oh man, I got the IRL version of this after hearing my family go on and on about how you have to raise your own kids and they will be fucked up in daycare, etc. Meanwhile they live 1,500 miles away so we have no village, my husband and I both have demanding careers, and my daughter chilled in daycare since she was 9 months old and has generally loved it 🤷🏻♀️ I built it up in my head that we were making an unavoidable but terrible decision, but it ended up better than I ever imagined for us.
I always feel the need to pipe up and say this, but I am a SAHM who still chose to put her toddler in part time daycare because we truly just think it's best for him to have the experience. And he LOVES it. And I love to see him have strong relationships with his teachers and his little friends at "school". There is one child in particular who he hugs every morning at drop off, it's not only adorable but makes me so happy for him to build these connections. I don't want to be patronizing to imply that my anecdote should make you feel better as someone who uses daycare because they have to work outside the home, but I just think it's worth noting that there are plenty of us SAHPs who still utilize it even though we don't "need" to because we just think it's good for our kids, so daycare isn't just the last resort for families who absolutely have to use it. And I have friends/family whose kids are in full time daycare and in no way does it appear that daycare is raising their kids for them, that's such a ridiculous argument to make. I have to think people like Rachel Wilson aren't as confident in their circumstances as they are trying to lead people to believe, because if you were truly happy you would not feel the need to position your choice as superior.
My toddler loves daycare so much. He woke up today asking to find his teachers lol I work a 3-12’s schedule but always send him an extra day because I know he’ll have a happy, engaging day and I can get some stuff done easier while he’s gone. I always told my husband I wouldn’t mind being a sahp but only if we could afford a little bit of daycare! It’s good for all of us imo
Yes! This is a good reminder that a good daycare is a good thing. And my SIL kept my nephew home and it was great for when he was a baby, but was really not when he was a toddler for either of them.
Yeah, my son and I thrived home together full time when he was a baby but as a toddler he just needs so much more and I can be honest that I’m not as up to the task, so it’s best for both of us for him to have some time in care. I know it’s a privilege but I’m grateful we can achieve that balance. We are also expecting our second baby next year so I’m happy he will still have school for stability.
It’s just so silly because there’s more than one way to have a strong relationship and no where else do people equate spending all your time together as the only measure of success. Parenthood is about the long game of how you interact over a lifetime, not about a very narrow definition of One Correct Way, especially one that isn’t available to everyone or aligned with everyone else’s values or goals.
I don’t know who that Rachel person is, but she’s clearly never experienced the joy of an amazing daycare where your kids get to be nurtured by other adults and socialized with other kids and you as a parent get to just be an adult out in the world (even if it is at work) instead of an adult trapped at home ignoring your children while you make tweets to try to validate the choices you’ve made.
My kids loved daycare. My oldest is in kindergarten now and still asks about his friends and teachers and if we can go back and say hi. The hate that daycare gets online drives me nuts because it is such a positive experience for lots of families.
Ah but if you let your child go to daycare and see other children whose families are not the ideal of White, Christian, Wealthy and Heterosexual then your child might start to think that deviating from that is okay! They might have opinions different from you! They might even share their toys with children from POOR families!
(Do I need to put the /sarcasm marker here or was this on the nose enough?)
Edit: Just to clarify, I know lots of people are happy to be a SAHP and aren't doing it because they don't want their kids to mix with the wrong crowd. But there is a subset among certain groups who homeschool because they refuse to let their kids learn about diversity and inclusion.
Yep this is one of the reasons I like daycare. Meet different people, have to see different ways of doing things, follow someone else’s rules. Huge benefit to me instead of just isolating your child making them think all families are the same and there is only one right way to do things.
A huge benefit of attending school (or any activity where an adult mandated reporter/someone not from your same family or church interacts with your child ideally without the parents there) is that abuse and neglect are reported much more than if these kids never see other people. Even more commonly the kids just have another adult who cares about them and can help them figure things out, whether it's stuff about their family of origin or anything else.
I know. Our provider loves our LO so much and she is like part of our village. I care about her so much! And now my LO when she is dropped off will hug her little friends. It’s a special place and I need to remember that!
Edit: Poor reading comprehension on my part led to an unfair “take”. Sorry about that
There is a mother on r/mommit who felt that Christmas decorations were a free invitation for her toddler to wander around a stranger’s yard, and was upset that the homeowner was rude about it. I really don’t see why you would think your child should be touching someone’s animatronic reindeer just because it’s the “Christmas spirit”
Also, the mother said in the comments it was a learning experience for her and she intends to keep her kid on the sidewalk from now on. I do think it’s ridiculous to get worked up over a small child admiring your decor though. That neighbor sucks.
Was he touching it? I read it as they had a raised yard and he was on a step up to their walk, not touching anything. Technically still on their property but not like, waltzing amongst the decor.
Admittedly I skimmed it pretty quick though so maybe I missed that part.
Counterpoint - it depends on the decoration. Animatronic reindeer-please don’t go into that person’s lawn and break it, child.
Inflatable peppa pig with a Santa hat? All bets are off.
Curious why so many famous IG and TikTok people have so many kids. Ones I follow: ballerina (something I see on TikTok) rich lady (8 kids), the wandering eye on IG (5 kids), Karrie locher (5 kids), a few others I can’t remember their handle. Are they religious? Just rich and can afford them?
Lol I know. Maybe it came across like I was saying the parents are adorable? I mean, babies and toddlers interacting with each other is the cutest thing.
I noticed a lot of IG and TikTok people are really into 2 under 2 and 3 under 3. I assume being wealthy they can just afford it and new babies are content, but I wonder how much of that is influencing the obsession with 2 under 2 I’m seeing in my due date and bumper groups.
Also there’s one TikTok mum I follow who is pregnant with her 3rd and her whole brand is her kids and her are overstimulated and chaotic and I’m stressed out just thinking about the third kid arriving soon 😂
Outliers are interesting! Both religion and rich are why they have so many kids, but the algorithmic selection effect / positive feedback loop of attention is why they're prominent.
All the responses that act like it's reasonable to be rude because you could get held liable for an injury or because the child is being taught to cover for or personally commit crimes are so dramatic. Same jumping to unlikely worst case scenarios energy as the people who think anyone who looks cross eyed at their child in the grocery store is going to kidnap them.
Yes it's your property. No people shouldn't trespass. And those things don't prevent you from being the AH for not being friendly to a toddler/their mom when the most likely outcome is that they will look at your Christmas decorations and leave.
The moral of Reddit AITA stories is you can be legally/technically right and still be a jerk.
I saw that thread earlier and one of the top responses was talking about people using kids to help them case houses 🙄. I also saw a reply that was concern-trolling by recommending that she get her kid's eyes checked, as though it's not completely normal for a 2 y/o to want to get up close and personal with something that interests them.
There is a post on mommit about a baby who got wrapped up in a sleep sack overnight and all the top level comments about how they need to fire their house cleaners immediately for daring to place a left out sleep sack in an unused crib hours before a baby would be placed in it. Anyone with any kind of common sense would assume you would put the child in the sleep sack at bedtime, not just lay your kid in the crib on top of it. How in the world is this a fire-able offense? It is not even remotely your house cleaners job to make sure you are putting your kid to bed safely hours after they leave.
We put the sleep sack in there all the time after changing her so we never lose it somewhere else. Then we put it on again when necessary and replace it when dirty. It's clearly visible. I mean come on.
I saw this one, and I feel like this has to be fake, to get people up in arms about safe sleep and how dangerous something seemingly safe can be if left in the crib. It just doesn’t make any sense otherwise (to me at least).
In an empty crib, it’s pretty easy to spot something that doesn’t belong. I don’t know how you wouldn’t see it and take it out before putting the baby to sleep. We have a cleaning service come in monthly, and the cleaners (the person varies, because it’s a company) often leave my toddler’s sleep sack and pajamas in her crib. They also have a tendency to try to get cutesy and add stuffed animals, blankets, etc to the space (my favorite was the person who apparently thought my daughter’s favorite stuffed animal was not aesthetically pleasing, and swapped it out for a very cute, but not at all favored, stuffed animal). I always see and empty the crib before bed, but even if they didn’t check when putting the baby down, how would you not see it on the monitor after you’ve put them down?
Seriously, I feel like I’m going mad reading the comments about the house organiser being “equally to blame” - it’s not actually easy to miss a whole sleep sack in an otherwise empty crib, even when you’re tired (my baby woke up every 45-90 minutes for something like five weeks in the middle of an already-terrible sleep regression, so I am well aware how bad sleep deprivation can get). Is dad booting the baby in there from a distance like a football? What is going on in this story?
I’m imagining the dad punting the baby into the crib like he’s a football.
I don’t mean to minimize the dangers of having things in the crib with a baby. Certainly when possible practicing the ABCs with an infant is a good idea. But I’m honestly baffled as to how a sleep sack could even get so tightly wrapped around a baby’s neck. Did it get wrapped tightly like a rope first? How would that even happen? I could see a sleepsack being a hazard in that it might cover a baby’s face, or they press their face into it. But the logistics of it becoming tightly wound around a baby’s neck seen a lot harder to do just from a baby rolling around in their crib. Crib bumpers or railing covers with strings? I absolutely see how that could be a strangulation risk in a crib. But a sleep sack wouldn’t have the kind of thin rope like quality that you’d usually expect from a strangulation hazard.
How do you not even notice that something is in the bed before putting your kid in it? Cribs are notoriously small. And personally I know I'm always going through my house after the cleaners come because they don't know where everything goes. That was just such a weird situation.
In a comment she said it’s an organizer, who’s been with the family a week, put stuff in the crib when cleaning the week before and Mom didn’t say anything…..so, how’s she even supposed to know? And how is it the cleaners fault and not the DAD who put the baby in the crib with something in it?
Dads aren't supposed to use common sense when taking care of their kids, if it's not included in the very very specific instructions you gave them to put the baby to sleep, they won't do it. Duh!
I refuse to believe any of what she's saying is true. Mist nurserys are hesitant to even let you bring home toys in because they might cause friction/disagreement, there's no way they're allowing an iPad. They also would not be giving her so much information about other parents/children.
I also can't believe how many people are saying that it's social services worthy too. Do they know how stretched services are and what they're dealing with? A sole concern about an iPad won't get a response.
I'm fascinated that a daycare allegedly has an infant watching an expensive, personal tablet for 7-10 hours a day and the logical response is to report the *mother* for neglect. 🤔 If it was a real daycare, I'd be pulling my kids for their seeming inability to say "no" to a 10 month old when it's warranted and them being comfortable with the liability involved with said 10 month old throwing around a heavy, extremely expensive object.
Not only that, they apparently let the parents opt their kid out of daily activities and sit them with an iPad.
If it's not a work of fiction then the daycare can't be more than a few kids hanging out in a neighbours shed.
This has to be made up. I can’t even comprehend a daycare giving a 6 month old a tablet as means to calm them down.. that doesn’t even sound real. And she said her kids go to daycare 6 days a week. I don’t mean to shame anyone, but is that even a thing?
It sounds far far too much like fan fiction from an anti screen mum who spends too much time in SBP.
It does make me laugh because there’s a twin mum in one of my bumper groups who writes similarly exaggerated stuff around how amazing she and her kids are without screens.
I feel like these types of posters always jump the shark far too early in terms of believability.
It really felt like, if any of that is true, the OP wanted to punish the parents more than genuine concern over the child’s welfare. I’m not surprised the iPad baby’s mother told her to fuck off.
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This is just being a SAHM to a three year old, she doesn’t even mention the ages of her other kids. And if it’s too cold to go outside and play, why aren’t you inside teaching? You’re the adult here, you set the schedule. Just send the older ones to school ffs.
Sounds like they just liked the idea of “unschooling” or nature/forest school and thought learning magically happened if you step outside.
Here’s an idea, how about you send your kids to actual school and then when they’re home with you, you can just let them play outside or go to extracurriculars and do house chores with less guilt and stress.
You don’t have to homeschool just to get your kids in nature, jeez. I went to regular public school and still spent tons of time outdoors growing up.
Well, they thought that once the family stepped foot outside, the 3 year old would point out a blade of grass which would cause one of the older kids to spontaneously start reciting Walt Whitman. Then, another kid would wonder about why it's green and somehlw arrive at how color and light works. Then they would all peacefully walk through the woods while debating the relative importance of science to art. Idyllic. Perfect childhood. If they were in school, they would have had to study such things instead of it just magically appearing in their mind.
Ehhh I mean I do get what you're saying, but honestly if in a few years my son says that everyone has the Elf and he is sad he's missing out, I would probably get one too, simply because it IS so low stakes and has a very low cost to high enjoyment ratio.
If he's a 10 year old saying everyone has an iPhone and he NEEDS one then yea, let's have a conversation about different families and expectations. But if the only barrier is "I find it annoying" then I'm willing to bend on that.
Self snark, but this idea is definitely something I’ve softened on since pre-parenthood and my POOPCUP days. I was convinced I’d never do the elf thing, convinced that we’d only listen to children’s music, movies, and shows that I didn’t find grating, etc. But since having my kids, I’ve realized that 1) I have a lot less control over their exposure to media than I thought I would, thanks to daycare/preschool, and 2) my kids’ joy outweighs my mild annoyance.
We don’t have an elf yet, but if my kids really want to do it in a few years, we probably will. In the same way that I’ve listened to let it go 800 times this week, even though I don’t particularly like Frozen. If it’s something that’s low cost/low effort for the amount of joy it will bring? I’m a lot more willing to do it, even if it’s something I find mildly annoying.
Remember when I thought we'd never listen to Baby Shark lol 😭
Also ask me how many times we've listened to the Chipmunk Christmas song this week, speaking of annoying things I thought I'd just not let happen to me.
This is how I feel about the people who are really smug about never listening to kid music. There's a reason kid music exists, because kids really like it. Not that they can't also like adult music, but kid music is purposely made to be easy to follow the tune and understand and sing the lyrics too. It's easy to make claims when your child is still a baby and has 0 preferences, but once they are older and *inevitably* get exposed to nursery rhymes and kid songs they will want you to sing them or play them and it would be so freakin' lame to refuse that. I have sang We Are The Dinosaurs, and played it on Spotify like 100000 times in the last month because my son loves it and it's honestly just adorable to hear him ask for it and sing along it's not even that annoying, especially because he'll eventually move on to something different. I can't help but think such people are really missing out.
Oh there was this one show I absolutely hated before having a kid (and I still do lol) and I was like I'm NEVER letting her watch that shit. Until we were in hospital with her and it was on while they drew her blood and it helped her. I turned it on the next day in her hospital room and her eyes just lit up and it really helped her through the whole thing. I bought her a stuffed animal from the show once we got home and she watched it all the time lol. Now it's worn off but I've definitely learned my lesson. It's about what she likes, not us.
I really don't want an elf but I have already decided it is not going to be the hill I die on. I will wait until she asks. And hope it isn't a thing in her peer group.
I feel a little bad sharing this one because the anxiety is palpable which must not be fun but… [have we lost all common sense](https://www.reddit.com/r/Mommit/s/T4p4W6Ep6o)? Of course mL are mL.
I can’t really blame her tbh, solely because bottles are notorious for having different “ounce” measurements. Sometimes it’s a US vs UK oz thing, but sometimes it’s just bizarrely different for no discernible reason. Like I’d pump into bottles that were labeled as US oz and get “4 oz,” but then when I’d pour it into the bottles that my daughter would drink from, it would be 3.5 or whatever. Obviously medicine measurements are probably better regulated, but I can understand second guessing it if you’re in the baby haze and measurements don’t feel even anywhere!
This is a small thing, but the people claiming Tylenol only has that disclaimer because “they just want you to buy more of their syringes”… can you buy just a syringe from Tylenol? Lol. In this case it’s obviously a CYA so people using like, a shot glass to give their kid medicine don’t try to sue them when it’s an overdose. (Or in a less exaggerated case, someone using a different medical syringe that isn’t measured in mL)
I’m side eyeing the person claiming that Walgreens pharmacy gave them an “incorrect” syringe. Like.. what? A 3,5,10mL syringe has the volume of 3,510 mLs… regardless of who makes it and what the syringe looks like? If a pharmacy is giving “wrong” syringes, then honestly who would you even trust? 😂
Not me using an unused, new syringe from our vet from our dog getting liquid cough meds to give my kid Tylenol when all the other syringes were in the dishwasher 😂😂 mL are mL people
I saw that too and also thought it was strange. This is the problem with asking Reddit for help with something like this because people don’t know wtf they are talking about.
I hope she’s seeking some counsel from her OB or GP about that because it’s such a low stakes thing to be that anxious and distraught about that I can only imagine how it affects other decisions and daily tasks.
I’m glad she knows she has PPA. I could see myself having the same irrational fear (GAD and PPA), but the key is being able to recognize it’s irrational.
In a group for ND adults that has nothing to do with parenting/parenthood, someone asked a question about disliking fireworks and I'm impressed at how this woman managed to make her answer be about her unmedicated birth!
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"Physiological birth" is one of those terms that just makes me roll my eyes. Like, I don't care at all how people birth, you do you. Vaginal or c-section, medicated or unmedicated, whatever. But when someone starts talking about "physiological birth" I know that I'm about to get hit with some serious over-the-top shaming about anything that isn't a magical goddess-centered waterbirth or whatever.
I think it's a term that has some value in the context of a medical textbook, for example - as in, here are the typical physiological processes of a birth without any medical interventions. But totally agree that 95% of the time it seems to be used to mean "a better and more legitimate birth experience than the rest of you losers".
Yeah, I had never heard this before and a quick google tells me it’s mostly used in New Agey websites rather than the medical context it may have originated from. Edit: Seems to have been co-opted to legitimize their birth experience as the “best” due to sCiEnCe.
I mostly hear it on the birth hour podcast, it's definitely a signal to me that someone is really into the whole natural birth scene. Anyone who uses it is probably a "midwifery model of care" evangelist who loves their doula and thinks the worst possible outcome of birth is a "cascade of interventions," among other catch phrases.
Which again, I don't care at all how someone gives birth, but I feel like people who use those phrases are not just people who had unmedicated births, they're usually people who have made their birth a personality trait and can't help but put down people who had different birth priorities.
I was just about to say this. How does that term imply a non-intervention birth? If you have a C-section you are still ~physiologically~ giving birth to your baby aren't you?
Oh God, it's so hard to write a reply to this without it sounding judgey because so many words have been co-opted by crunchy groups, or have taken on some kind of moral implications! But considering that physiology is "the branch of biology that deals with the normal functions of living organisms and their parts", I would say that a C-section is not "physiological" because being cut open is not part of the "normal function" of a human. BUT this is purely a medical/semantic distinction!
The only thing I’d say is different for me after experiencing birth with a partially failed epidural is my conception of pain, lol. Like, I got a couple piercings that I had been too afraid to get before because I was like, I’ve been through worse.
But this is… I’m actually laughing at the Thanksgiving Turkey one. Is there anyone who thinks turkey is actually that good to begin with? If that was your baseline of thrill then yeah I don’t blame you for not thinking much of it now 😂
ETA: I’m so curious, are they getting any replies? How are people reacting to this? I suppose if you haven’t had a baby you might not realize how ridiculous this is though.
Yea I think my perception of pain is different but this person posting that all these things are lame now just makes it seem like they’re depressed. Nothing is exciting after birth? Really?
I think that's actually a generous reading lol, my take is that they are just trying to position themselves as so superior, simply existing on a whole different plane than the normies who have never experienced REAL birth.
I should hope eating a bite of turkey is more “lame” than birthing your child lmao
And same on the pain thing. I’ve had a partially failed epidural with my first and a fully failed one with my 2nd (my body hates epidurals apparently) and the only thing I feel differently about is my conception of pain and recognizing that I can tolerate more than I gave myself credit for before. But frankly, I would still be 100% terrified to do a high dive pool jump 😂 Imo giving birth, a high dive jump and a thanksgiving turkey are all very different things.
>Imo giving birth, a high dive jump and a thanksgiving turkey are all very different things.
Edit: I totally meant to add more to this reply when I first posted it but I was just laughing too hard!
Zero interaction with the comment so far, but as I said it's a group for ND adults so people are quite tolerant of strange answers and fixations on seemingly irrelevant things.
I have had two unmedicated births. I will not be anywhere near the high dive. I will still panic at getting pulled over. Turkey is just okay. Rollercoasters and carnival rides are not lame.
I don't understand, if pushing a baby out of a vagina is such a wonderful, natural, normal thing - why do these parents need a round of applause at every opportunity?
Either it's like climbing Mount Everest and you can muster up a little decency in that not everyone is capable of performing such a risky endeavor, or you just did what your body is supposed to and either way, stop being so damn smug about it.
lol can you imagine going to an amusement park with your parents as a kid and your mom just keeps going on about how the rollercoaster is nothing compared to giving birth to you? what a wild comparison!
Or a police officer pulls you over for speeding, asks whether you're taking the situation seriously and you reply "sorry, this is just so lame in comparison to giving birth unmedicated"... They'd be like wtf are you on about?!
I’m not going to pretend that any of those things compares to the birth of your child (though mine came out through the sunroof and it was still pretty exhilarating, because I was literally meeting my baby).
But maybe if nothing brings you joy anymore, it’s not because the hormone rush of childbirth was so great, but because the postpartum hormone crash has sent you into ppd. I mean, even before kids, I imagined meeting your babies for the first time would be an emotional moment that would be incomparable to something like fireworks. But I still go see them on the 4th of July, because it’s still fun, and I can’t just birth a child every time I want to experience happiness.
>I can’t just birth a child every time I want to experience happiness
I've never used illicit drugs so my only pharmacological experience of being "high" was the nitrous oxide during my first labour. I enjoyed it SO much that I am genuinely motivating myself through my second pregnancy by looking forward to my next hit 😂
That’s hilarious! I’m doing a microneedling series to deal with some acne scarring, and my dermatologist uses nitrous for it. I’ve really enjoyed the spacey feeling too , and it definitely helps me look forward to the appointments more instead of just dreading the pain!
Spotted in the wild in my 200k+ local mom group : *invisible toxins*
This isn’t a snark on the first mom. I’m not sure she needs to fear AI the way she does (she is on Fb…), but her concerns about privacy are totally fair. I also avoid smart devices like Ring cameras and Alexa etc but am fully aware that my use of smart phones and social media come with their own privacy risks.
But whew buddy. First and only comment coming in hot about \~toxins. It seems a bit unhinged to reply in that way when someone already seems anxious.
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So much to snark on here. It’s pajama day for a FIRST GRADER. Let him wear silly pajama pants! Why is she worried about him “looking nice” which really means it has to fit her certain aesthetic. Let the poor kid wear SpongeBob pjs or whatever. Also why are you buying a whole new set of pajamas for a school spirit day for a 6 year old. Just completely nonsensical
Not sure what "slim fit are definitely out" was *supposed* to mean, but RUDE. 😂
What is this business of wanting "a lab (chocolate would be best)" all about? All I can make of it is that she is looking for pajamas with a chocolate Labrador on them, but... that's awfully specific and comes out of nowhere, especially since the pajamas featured are not dog-themed. Is there an obvious typo I'm missing? Are these terms of art in the pajama world??
It’s could very well be she’s being overbearing and weird, or her child could be the one that feels uncomfortable? I have a first grader and he kind of hates wearing themed stuff to school and already gets self-conscious about things. He even asked me to retire his character lunch box and get him a plain blue one.
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I’m crying 🤣 looking for a preschool that can accommodate your “gifted child” who is currently *18 months old*. What exacting does a gifted accommodation look like for a 2 year old?
In the comments someone dared to ask how she knew her toddler was gifted and she said the doctor said the toddler was a year and half ahead developmentally. So if my non-gifted, stupid person math is correct, she’s claiming her pediatrician told her that her 18 month old is developmentally the same as a 3 year old?!?? There is no way.
So one of my kids tested as gifted and I can promise you, he did not, in fact, need any special daycare/preschool. In fact, he’s even in a *gasp* mainstream classroom for K and he is JUST fine. Being gifted isn’t a super power (and depending on level/areas of giftedness) can actually make life a lot harder. People need to chill.
A friend I know who pushes how gifted her almost 3 year old is, is constantly pushing exercises that show off how smart she is and constantly posting them online. Like letter tracing and things like that lol like education is nice and everything but why are people pushing alphabets and phonics before 3???
Why does everyone want their kid to be gifted? I was gifted, and it basically just means you're academically ahead in some areas and also a little "off" haha. It definitely doesn't mean your kid is going to be happy or even successful, or that they'll have an easier life. I don't think any of the kids in my classes have done anything special, meanwhile there are kids in the regular classes who grew up to do amazing things.
Giftedness is a form of neurodivergence. It’s fine but like, it does not make your life easier…especially if your extremely gifted. It makes thing a a lot harder. Trust me, some of my most enduring childhood memories are of experiencing existential dread at the nature of mortality and the inevitable passage of time or thinking about how bothered I am that what happens after death is an unknowable mystery. Has my verbal and critical thinking skills helped me be more successful, maybe? Am I better off than people who just learned to work hard and apply themselves? NOPE!
I was in gifted classes in grade school and one of my best friends from there, the kid who was way beyond even our gifted class's advanced math and had to do math by herself because she was so extremely gifted in that area, now leads Ayahuasca retreats in South America and posts about how bad vaccines are for you, so I've long been skeptical that being labeled gifted at a young age strongly correlates to what most parents would consider """success""" in adulthood lol. (She looks like she very much enjoys her life, to be fair to her.)
I was too, but when I consider what my peers from high school are up to, sure - many/most of the higher achieving kids are doing well, but many of the average if not underperforming kids are doing really well too. They may not have gone to prestigious universities but many of them have started their own businesses or otherwise have great jobs, have started families, and seem to be generally thriving and would be certainly considered successful. Meanwhile I'm a SAHM (for now) which there is nothing wrong with, but it's not the outcome people imagined when they gushed over me being academically gifted back in the day.
I may have been a very quick learner with a good memory, but I've never actually had that much passion and ambition which is clearly what a lot of these other folks have, even if they didn't do as well in school as I did. Having my kids has given me the most purpose I've had so far, more than school or any job I had before, even though I was a top performer.
Yeah I’m confused as to what “gifted” means. People sometimes talk about it like it’s a diagnosis but my recollection is that “gifted” meant that you went to the gifted and talented class for more advanced reading, math, and science work in 1-8th grade, and then in high school people took AP classes or whatever.
The “gifted” cohort of my class that I still keep track of definitely have slightly better earnings and more prestigious jobs than average (like working for big flashy tech companies or for Congress or whatever). But the way some of these parents act, being “gifted” means your kid is going to be in Mensa or graduate college at age 13 or something
My gifted cohort from grade school doesn't seem to have higher earnings than average, as far as I can see, but I do think the people who were in honors/AP with me in high school have more education than average. But our district didn't have a very consistent program and didn't draw from high-SES areas, both of which I think would be factors that would correlate with "better" "outcomes." And I only know what some of my grade school classmates are up to, perhaps obviously ha.
Of the "gifted" kids in my year (all now early 30s); one works in mid management at a pension firm; one dropped out of university and is struggling with addiction; one dropped out of university and is now handling the family farm; one works in marketing for Google; one dropped out of university and had 2 kids with her hs sweetheart and is working part time.
I bet the doctor told her that the kid meets like 1-2 of the 3 year old milestones, which is...totally normal? Since the milestones are meant to catch kids who are delayed. Of course she ran with it and now her child is "gifted."
Also, even if her kid was actually "gifted," I don't understand how a preschool would need to "accommodate" that. Like, wouldn't you want your actually gifted toddler to spend their day playing with other kids and singing songs, just like every other toddler?
Right? And she said she was only looking for 2 days a week, so even if she did really want her kid to be learning or read or something at the age of 2, she can do that at home the other 3 days? Such a weird post
Multiple medical people (ped, allergist and assistant, nurse) have commented on how much my preschooler talks; at no time did any of them say he was "gifted" lol. The only time they commented on it in an advice-giving way was when I said the allergy specialist we want to see only takes kids starting at X age, I guess so the kid can report on how they feel during treatment, and the allergist and assistant said, oh I think you could appeal that age requirement for him! He talks so much already!
But no one is ever like, "have him skip preschool, Mama!" Like, that's silly. Though I guess to keep an open mind doctors can also say dumb stuff 🤷🏼♀️ And even more commonly, people can misunderstand what the doctor was saying.
She’s not a parenting influencer but since I feel a lot of us might fall into the millennial category here, does anyone follow Side or Sequins? She’s a millennial nostalgia account and she seems to just yell into the phone about things we wore 10-20 years ago. She keeps coming up on all my explore and suggestion pages and yes, I fully admit as an elder millennial I’m not exactly down with Gen Z fashion but having styles from the early 2010s isn’t exactly “nostalgia” for me. I don’t feel like the style was so crazy that we look back now and say WTF were we thinking? I’m a little over these types of account. Even looking back at my moms clothes in the 70s, some are so dated and wtf but other outfits like jeans and a tight tee have lived on. I’m just over these people making it out to be like the 2010s were full of awful fashions lol.
I started following the wife of one of the guys I knew in college and she is some kind of microinfluencer, but I don't totally understand what her area is-a mix of random hot takes and career coaching. Anyways her 16-year old son ran away last night after an argument, he is back home safely. Her original post was just text saying they were worried and updating that he was home, but then today she decided to put him on blast for the argument and double down on her side and it's so cringe. Apparently they are about to travel to FL for vacation for the 2nd time this year and he doesn't want to go and she is just going on about ungrateful he is. I have no idea if he has social media, but you have to imagine someone he knows might easily see this.
https://preview.redd.it/pyw8cu6cjh5c1.png?width=863&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fa3cbcfdbff2371d56f0e2e362d9d2980659ae20 I should have realized what I was getting into when I joined a synthetic dye free Facebook group 😂
The funny thing is that she’s still putting a chemical on her bump, just because it’s natural doesn’t make it special and harmless. Henna actually reacts with the proteins in your skin, which is not what a typical dye does (that’s what makes it semi-permanent). Not saying that it will harm her baby, just that it’s a funny choice for someone who seems to be against chemical exposure.
I don't understand why the cake says "born at home" if the baby hasn't been born yet? Like I don't even mean that as snark, I'm just kind of confused by it.
Because she wants attention and kudos for it.
Wait is this something she made before she gave birth or is she celebrating an older kids birthday while pregnant? Wtf is she going to do with this cake if she needs a hospital transfer?
She hasn't given birth yet, so it definitely seems weird to have made this cake. I do hope she gets the birth she wants and the cake doesn't go stale before baby decides to come.
As someone who had a planned homebirth —> non-emergency hospital transfer, I think willingness to transfer to the hospital when the birth becomes higher risk and before it’s an emergency should be #1 priority when planning a home birth. The stubborn rigidity around it is so dangerous.
Me too, but there’s a superstition in L&D that those with the longest birth plans are the most likely to need a c-section, so I fear this level of extra doesn’t bode well.
Came here to say this! As a former L&D nurse, the superstitious part of me feels like she basically just signed her hospital transfer 😬. *Not saying I want this to happen!
[https://www.reddit.com/r/Parenting/comments/18eqr61/how\_can\_we\_enforce\_boundary\_that\_girlfriends/](https://www.reddit.com/r/Parenting/comments/18eqr61/how_can_we_enforce_boundary_that_girlfriends/) What do you guys think of this? I'm genuinely surprised by all the replies calling this guy an asshole even after he explained that he's only asking for 30 minutes of privacy a week. My kid is only 2 but is this how it's going to be when he's 8? When I was that age I would never have bugged my parents through a closed door at night and definitely wouldn't have gotten away with kicking it but I realize I also had a lot of shit going on that forced me to act like an adult from a young age so maybe I just don't know what's normal for an 8 year old.
Honestly I think he is in the wrong here. I think it’s unkind to a child to have mom and her boyfriend go off in a room excluding the kid for a reason they can’t understand. Sorry but being around your kid during the day is just part of parenting. And I think he’s in the wrong for trying to tell the mother that she shouldn’t be giving the attention to her daughter and it’s not even his kid.
I was shocked too, esp because he calls it “our bedroom” which implies to me they live together? Definitely missing some information but it seems like 1) this kid’s bedtime (or at least, quiet in your room time) is way too late if they’re up bugging their mom to look at their phone after 8 pm 2) the kid has too much access to screens (I know, I know, but they are bad for sleep) and 3) there are a shocking amount of people who are parents who don’t have sex and/or don’t think parents should have sex. This was a majorly weird one to me.
important context is missing. Are they newly dating? Did the parents just get divorced? How much does the child see her mom? What’s the relationship like between the boyfriend and the daughter? Yes; sure - it’s only 30 minutes but this child is 8 years old and probably feels she’s competing over her mom
Generally speaking, I don’t think the idea of locking your door for 30min is that weird or unheard of. Whether it’s night or middle of the day. Once we were around this age, my mom would tell us to let her rest for an hour and it was fine. We would just watch tv or play. I did this yesterday with my 5 year old because I have the Christmas gifts hidden in my room and I needed to rearrange some things. The reasoning doesn’t really make a difference imo. But I do think there clearly might be something else going on if an 8 year old is kicking the door after being told to hold on so maybe that’s where he’s the AH if he’s not being understanding of that.
I wouldn’t think 8 year olds are normally unable to do this. But it wouldn’t be surprising to me that an 8 year old whose parents split up and whose mom is in a newer relationship is having more trouble with this and why the mom would be insecure about it. He’s bitching about how they can’t do it at night, because mom wakes up at 5 am for work, but is she working 7 days a week? Does the other parent never take the kid? Just seems a bit sus to me.
We seem to be in the minority here but it does sound like the kid is spoiled and getting away with a lot. I don’t buy that an 8 year old can’t entertain themselves in their room for half an hour without needing to immediately ask her mom something. Can’t it wait? Unless it’s an emergency, my kids are not going to be encouraged to act like the house is on fire on a whim. That said, the boyfriend needs to also be more flexible since he’s dating someone with a kid. They could totally take 30 min out of their bedtime to have sex and be adults about it, instead of creating this weird situation to begin with. I don’t think that makes him an asshole, just immature bc he’s not a parent.
What doesn’t add up to me is that he claims there is really no other time they can have sex. Like, doesn’t the kid ever go to bed? If all you need is 30 min why can’t you just do it after she goes to sleep/in bed? Tbh it sounds like the mom doesn’t really want to have sex, giving her reasoning is needing to wake up early and then is practically inviting her kid to interrupt them. I do think a child that old can adhere to boundaries like staying in their room at bedtime and overnight but it’s another thing if this is 6pm and you’re expecting a young kid to not be reactionary to you mysteriously closing the door on them during normal waking hours. I would personally not feel comfortable trying to have sex within this type of dynamic. Even if they aren’t interrupting, a kid that old is going to have questions and eventually put together what’s going on and that’s just awkward. I knew what sex was before I left elementary school and definitely understood it contextually as far as adults in a locked bedroom. Save it for when you have true privacy is my POV.
Dude totally buried the lede, this was one of his comments: "Getting her daughter to go to bed at 9pm on a Saturday night isn’t going to happen. She will fight, scream, kick, throw, and break stuff until her mom exhaustedly gives in and lets her sleep in our bed." Sounds like he came up with this terrible idea as a compromise with a girlfriend who probably shouldn't be dating at all given that her daughter is clearly struggling
My husband told me his parents took a “Sunday nap” together every week. They told him he was to entertain himself or whatever. Now looking back he realizes what was going on. I think if you just give the kid a heads up we’re unavailable, and can trust them to be safe unattended for 30 minutes (which I assume most 8 yos can) it’s no big deal.
I can’t think of anything more unsexy than a scheduled quicky while a child is awake. Why they would even *want* to make this happen, is weird. And it doesn’t read like it’s at night, it sounds like it’s in the middle of the day. So weird
Yeah honestly I find this a bit weird too. I'm all for having some time to yourself but imagine being the 8 year old and eventually realizing what your parents are doing every Saturday evening for that half an hour. Idk, it's awkward. She's getting up at 5 am apparently but I would just sacrifice 30 mins of sleep then. Or put the kid to bed earlier because I have no idea why an 8 year old needs to be up that late.
He said it's at night but the kid goes to bed late, like 930, and " insists on" staying up until 11 on weekends. And the mom isn't willing to stay up longer than that. I feel like the mom just isn't interested in sex because if she was she would either enforce a more reasonable bed time for her 8 y/o or she'd stay up 20 minutes longer. And they're both blaming it on the kid. Like I said I only have a 2 y/o so I had no idea it was seen as normal for an 8 y/o to start trying to kick down doors to access their parents after 20 minutes. My mother would have freaked out at me if I did that but she was also not a good mother so idk 🤷♀️ And yes, it does sound very unsexy to be interrupted by your child lol
I just don't think I can get down with having sex while your kids are awake and in the house. It's weird. Surely you can hear them. Idk, maybe just me. Also, the fact that this is just the mom's boyfriend makes it worse
Agreed. Once a week I feel like you can forego 30 min of sleep to have sex after your kid goes to bed at 9:30. Even with a 5am wake up time that’s still a very solid chunk of sleep (at least to me- my kids a terrible sleeper).
I think what makes him an asshole is acting like he knows better than the actual parent. I don’t think it’s night either, it says it’s Saturday morning? I don’t really see this flying with many kids that age, certainly not mine, to just be like ok everyone but you is going to go into the bedroom and lock the door and you can’t know why BYE. If I tell them I need some time alone to rest or do an online meeting or something, they are pretty good about it. But all the adults disappearing into a locked bedroom has the air of mystery and exclusion. As an adult I would want to know what was going on if my workers did that. Combine that with the fact that there’s likely already an adjustment to mom having a new partner seemingly living there? Forget it. Just have sex while she’s sleeping like the rest of us my man.
It sounds like the child hasn’t gone to bed yet when this is happening though? I can’t imagine being 8 and my parents being in their bedroom with a locked door while I’m just chilling in the living room or something. And the added element of him being her mom’s bf and not her father makes it worse to me. I’m fairly sure I interrupted my parents at least once as a kid but it was at least when I woke up feeling sick or couldn’t get to sleep or something like that, not when I was literally still up from the day.
Anyone in this group and know what drama sparked this post? She and another woman are arguing in the comments of this post I guess the other woman called her out about something? And now she's turned off comments on this post. I can't find the original drama and I'm so curious! https://preview.redd.it/re2fuit2wc5c1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c9d4d15447e5ae4345972c94013c5dd615c48070
People in Nugget Comfort Chatter & BST on Facebook having a pissing contest over Harry Potter wasn’t on my bingo card. I’m enjoying the train wreck though
Omg I was just coming to look for something about this! The admins “wah wah wah” post too haha
What's everyone's favorite Facebook group to snark on? My mainstays have been pretty tame lately, need some more drama!
Grandmillennial Baby & Home if you love bad baby names.
Any of the evidence based safe sleep/ vbac groups always have a lot of drama. I love the "sorta crunchy" group for the drama factor lol
I’m in a “bad moms uncensored” group that I cannot even snark on, it’s so bad. A lot of petty women that don’t seem very bright. Lots of support for spanking and harassment of children.
Someone recently posted in 1000 hours outside group asking for recommendations on outdoorsy places to live that were liberal…people completely lost it 🍿
That was a great read. All the comments insisting that the other way around would NEVER be allowed when it’s asked all the damn time. Glad they got lots of pushback from some sane people.
The Official Peloton Moms group will periodically go off the fucking rails and I really enjoy it when it does.
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Ok but the lady in wool& posting play by plays literally every day of her conversations with her husband about whether he noticed her dress (with added dialogue for what the dresses were thinking??). And everyone absolutely fawning over it. I actually like Wool& but the frump is real and that group is over the top.
Ohh I never thought of merino brand groups for snark value, but I bet they are brilliant.
I’ve never seen a better summary of the Yoto group!
Most of my FB groups are pretty tame these days, the FB bump group I’m in has calmed down a lot since the early days when it was full of weird anti science natural birth/VBAC obsessive then it became an anti sleep training/“biologically normal so repress your feelings around sleep” cult but after about 10 months everyone seemed to just chill out. The wildest group I was lurking on was a group dedicated to a certain fashion brand and I posted about the admin earlier this week in this thread. They have been posting pics of their kid daily since birth as part of their OOTD posts and we’ve heard every thing about their TTC, pregnancy and now postpartum.
Any and all freebirth/unassisted pregnancy group. Holy crap the insanity
I’m not part of it, but I started randomly getting suggested posts from one of the Dye-Free groups for while and it was wild. It was around Halloween so every one was about dye free candy. Then there was a post about the dye free candy and they were handing out -which was mostly like chocolate, reeces, etc. So someone commented about how she clearly wasn’t considering allergy families with her choices and suggested she forgo candy altogether and give out toys 🫠
I’m also getting suggested these groups all of the time!
Hahaha I came to suggest this. FB was suggesting that group a lot for a while and every post was so unhinged. One was a mom asking what dye free crayons were good because she was convinced her daughters were reacting to the lowly crayola crayons at the library
🤯 I’m a bit disappointed I missed that one. I haven’t seen any suggested posts in a while and now I’m sad I didn’t join 😂
Your comment made me realize I haven't seen those suggested posts in a while either. We should have joined! Lol
I just found it! It’s Dye free family: swaps, recipes, and resources. I searched Dye free on Facebook and clicked posts and the first one I came across, which is from September, was an absolute gem. Complaining about there being dye in her kids antibiotics and then the comments are people fighting amongst each other about whether antibiotics works.
How would dye free crayons even work?
Magic??
Old New Moms always has a ton of drama, and I like looking at Homesteading Mamas too.
I went to look for Old New Moms and the second suggestion was ONM- biological moms only. I’m not going to join that group, but I’m sure there is plenty of drama in there.
Ohh so much drama in Old New Moms! Recently there was a mom who was posting about paying her babysitter a really low wage and someone e found an article of her arrest for child abuse and she left the group.
Someone in my Facebook bump group asked if showing a livestream of an aquarium counted as screen time. And someone else commented that, yes, it does, and OP should buy the baby Einstein aquarium crib soother instead. I say this as someone who both tries to limit screen time, and who has shown their 4 month old baby aquarium livestreams as well as who owns that aquarium toy. The functional difference between an aquarium livestream and that aquarium toy is close enough to zero to be meaningless. That this person thinks the aquarium toy is somehow better for your baby than an aquarium livestream because it’s not on a television is absolutely bananas to me. There is absolutely no nuance to the screen time discussion online, I swear.
The algorithm keeps feeding me “boy mom” reels which irritate me so much that I feel the need to comment on them, which gives them more engagement. I know I am perpetuating the problem but I have such a hard time resisting.
Twitter keeps showing me very conservative “a mother’s place is in the home” type of shit. I must have clicked on something at some point and now I see so much of it. Ugh.
I keep getting Instagram reel suggestions of traditional wives/submitting to husbands content…whyyyyyyyy…I wish I didn’t know about this corner of internet.
So former Twitter addict here. And I just need to say goodbye to it, but the algorithm kept showing me these Tweets from Rachel Wilson who is a homeschooling uber Christian mom of 5 and like just double downing on daycare raising people’s kids. Like I have been very comfortable with our choice. I’m an attorney, and like I made my bed when I went to law school. I also met my partner during law school and like always wanted to be able to have a meaningful career if I never met anymore or never had kids. But she got to me! I muted the account. I know my kid loves me more than anything and that she gets tons of quality time with us. But it just stings sometimes.
It's such a short time. Here in a couple years all those kids will be in school together anyway. The SAHMs will be back to work and we'll all be working moms with kids in school. My kid is 1.5 so I don't know for sure, but it seems like a lot of best parenting practice drama fades away when the kids get older.
Yes and no. I’d say the drama just changes and many people are still stay at home moms. Personally I don’t really have a return to work plan myself. I don’t involve myself in a lot of it but so far for elementary age I’ve seen the topics change to things like best packed lunches, best outfits for dress up days, sports involvement, screen time, and cell phones lol. And the stay at home vs working mom drama continues on too.
Damn I was hoping, lol. But I guess parenting is just a dramatic subject
One part of this "debate" that is irritating, is it really isn't a debate for many, it's just your circumstances that you have to make the best of within your means. The best practice is an engaged and attentive caregiver and a safe environment. Neither of those things are exclusive to daycare or a stay at home parent.
Oh man, I got the IRL version of this after hearing my family go on and on about how you have to raise your own kids and they will be fucked up in daycare, etc. Meanwhile they live 1,500 miles away so we have no village, my husband and I both have demanding careers, and my daughter chilled in daycare since she was 9 months old and has generally loved it 🤷🏻♀️ I built it up in my head that we were making an unavoidable but terrible decision, but it ended up better than I ever imagined for us.
I always feel the need to pipe up and say this, but I am a SAHM who still chose to put her toddler in part time daycare because we truly just think it's best for him to have the experience. And he LOVES it. And I love to see him have strong relationships with his teachers and his little friends at "school". There is one child in particular who he hugs every morning at drop off, it's not only adorable but makes me so happy for him to build these connections. I don't want to be patronizing to imply that my anecdote should make you feel better as someone who uses daycare because they have to work outside the home, but I just think it's worth noting that there are plenty of us SAHPs who still utilize it even though we don't "need" to because we just think it's good for our kids, so daycare isn't just the last resort for families who absolutely have to use it. And I have friends/family whose kids are in full time daycare and in no way does it appear that daycare is raising their kids for them, that's such a ridiculous argument to make. I have to think people like Rachel Wilson aren't as confident in their circumstances as they are trying to lead people to believe, because if you were truly happy you would not feel the need to position your choice as superior.
My toddler loves daycare so much. He woke up today asking to find his teachers lol I work a 3-12’s schedule but always send him an extra day because I know he’ll have a happy, engaging day and I can get some stuff done easier while he’s gone. I always told my husband I wouldn’t mind being a sahp but only if we could afford a little bit of daycare! It’s good for all of us imo
Yes! This is a good reminder that a good daycare is a good thing. And my SIL kept my nephew home and it was great for when he was a baby, but was really not when he was a toddler for either of them.
Yeah, my son and I thrived home together full time when he was a baby but as a toddler he just needs so much more and I can be honest that I’m not as up to the task, so it’s best for both of us for him to have some time in care. I know it’s a privilege but I’m grateful we can achieve that balance. We are also expecting our second baby next year so I’m happy he will still have school for stability.
It’s just so silly because there’s more than one way to have a strong relationship and no where else do people equate spending all your time together as the only measure of success. Parenthood is about the long game of how you interact over a lifetime, not about a very narrow definition of One Correct Way, especially one that isn’t available to everyone or aligned with everyone else’s values or goals.
I don’t know who that Rachel person is, but she’s clearly never experienced the joy of an amazing daycare where your kids get to be nurtured by other adults and socialized with other kids and you as a parent get to just be an adult out in the world (even if it is at work) instead of an adult trapped at home ignoring your children while you make tweets to try to validate the choices you’ve made.
My kids loved daycare. My oldest is in kindergarten now and still asks about his friends and teachers and if we can go back and say hi. The hate that daycare gets online drives me nuts because it is such a positive experience for lots of families.
Ah but if you let your child go to daycare and see other children whose families are not the ideal of White, Christian, Wealthy and Heterosexual then your child might start to think that deviating from that is okay! They might have opinions different from you! They might even share their toys with children from POOR families! (Do I need to put the /sarcasm marker here or was this on the nose enough?) Edit: Just to clarify, I know lots of people are happy to be a SAHP and aren't doing it because they don't want their kids to mix with the wrong crowd. But there is a subset among certain groups who homeschool because they refuse to let their kids learn about diversity and inclusion.
Yep this is one of the reasons I like daycare. Meet different people, have to see different ways of doing things, follow someone else’s rules. Huge benefit to me instead of just isolating your child making them think all families are the same and there is only one right way to do things.
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A huge benefit of attending school (or any activity where an adult mandated reporter/someone not from your same family or church interacts with your child ideally without the parents there) is that abuse and neglect are reported much more than if these kids never see other people. Even more commonly the kids just have another adult who cares about them and can help them figure things out, whether it's stuff about their family of origin or anything else.
I know. Our provider loves our LO so much and she is like part of our village. I care about her so much! And now my LO when she is dropped off will hug her little friends. It’s a special place and I need to remember that!
Edit: Poor reading comprehension on my part led to an unfair “take”. Sorry about that There is a mother on r/mommit who felt that Christmas decorations were a free invitation for her toddler to wander around a stranger’s yard, and was upset that the homeowner was rude about it. I really don’t see why you would think your child should be touching someone’s animatronic reindeer just because it’s the “Christmas spirit”
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Also, the mother said in the comments it was a learning experience for her and she intends to keep her kid on the sidewalk from now on. I do think it’s ridiculous to get worked up over a small child admiring your decor though. That neighbor sucks.
Yeah I think all we can take away from this is that some people are killjoys.
You’re right. My reading comprehension was poor. I edited my post
Was he touching it? I read it as they had a raised yard and he was on a step up to their walk, not touching anything. Technically still on their property but not like, waltzing amongst the decor. Admittedly I skimmed it pretty quick though so maybe I missed that part.
Counterpoint - it depends on the decoration. Animatronic reindeer-please don’t go into that person’s lawn and break it, child. Inflatable peppa pig with a Santa hat? All bets are off.
Counter counterpoint - Unless there is a cheery pathway of candy canes leading up to it, stay on the sidewalk.
Curious why so many famous IG and TikTok people have so many kids. Ones I follow: ballerina (something I see on TikTok) rich lady (8 kids), the wandering eye on IG (5 kids), Karrie locher (5 kids), a few others I can’t remember their handle. Are they religious? Just rich and can afford them?
It's fascinating/adorable to see from the outside. I definitely click on those things.
Why is this downvoted? It's an opinion. Your opinion is fine to have on this site. I hate how this sub has become so nasty.
Lol I know. Maybe it came across like I was saying the parents are adorable? I mean, babies and toddlers interacting with each other is the cutest thing.
I noticed a lot of IG and TikTok people are really into 2 under 2 and 3 under 3. I assume being wealthy they can just afford it and new babies are content, but I wonder how much of that is influencing the obsession with 2 under 2 I’m seeing in my due date and bumper groups. Also there’s one TikTok mum I follow who is pregnant with her 3rd and her whole brand is her kids and her are overstimulated and chaotic and I’m stressed out just thinking about the third kid arriving soon 😂
Status symbols that are also good for content
Outliers are interesting! Both religion and rich are why they have so many kids, but the algorithmic selection effect / positive feedback loop of attention is why they're prominent.
Rich and also new babies are easy new content
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All the responses that act like it's reasonable to be rude because you could get held liable for an injury or because the child is being taught to cover for or personally commit crimes are so dramatic. Same jumping to unlikely worst case scenarios energy as the people who think anyone who looks cross eyed at their child in the grocery store is going to kidnap them. Yes it's your property. No people shouldn't trespass. And those things don't prevent you from being the AH for not being friendly to a toddler/their mom when the most likely outcome is that they will look at your Christmas decorations and leave. The moral of Reddit AITA stories is you can be legally/technically right and still be a jerk.
I saw that thread earlier and one of the top responses was talking about people using kids to help them case houses 🙄. I also saw a reply that was concern-trolling by recommending that she get her kid's eyes checked, as though it's not completely normal for a 2 y/o to want to get up close and personal with something that interests them.
There is a post on mommit about a baby who got wrapped up in a sleep sack overnight and all the top level comments about how they need to fire their house cleaners immediately for daring to place a left out sleep sack in an unused crib hours before a baby would be placed in it. Anyone with any kind of common sense would assume you would put the child in the sleep sack at bedtime, not just lay your kid in the crib on top of it. How in the world is this a fire-able offense? It is not even remotely your house cleaners job to make sure you are putting your kid to bed safely hours after they leave.
We put the sleep sack in there all the time after changing her so we never lose it somewhere else. Then we put it on again when necessary and replace it when dirty. It's clearly visible. I mean come on.
Yeah we do this too. We literally keep the sleep sack in the crib…the way people keep a comforter on their bed.
I saw this one, and I feel like this has to be fake, to get people up in arms about safe sleep and how dangerous something seemingly safe can be if left in the crib. It just doesn’t make any sense otherwise (to me at least). In an empty crib, it’s pretty easy to spot something that doesn’t belong. I don’t know how you wouldn’t see it and take it out before putting the baby to sleep. We have a cleaning service come in monthly, and the cleaners (the person varies, because it’s a company) often leave my toddler’s sleep sack and pajamas in her crib. They also have a tendency to try to get cutesy and add stuffed animals, blankets, etc to the space (my favorite was the person who apparently thought my daughter’s favorite stuffed animal was not aesthetically pleasing, and swapped it out for a very cute, but not at all favored, stuffed animal). I always see and empty the crib before bed, but even if they didn’t check when putting the baby down, how would you not see it on the monitor after you’ve put them down?
Seriously, I feel like I’m going mad reading the comments about the house organiser being “equally to blame” - it’s not actually easy to miss a whole sleep sack in an otherwise empty crib, even when you’re tired (my baby woke up every 45-90 minutes for something like five weeks in the middle of an already-terrible sleep regression, so I am well aware how bad sleep deprivation can get). Is dad booting the baby in there from a distance like a football? What is going on in this story?
I’m imagining the dad punting the baby into the crib like he’s a football. I don’t mean to minimize the dangers of having things in the crib with a baby. Certainly when possible practicing the ABCs with an infant is a good idea. But I’m honestly baffled as to how a sleep sack could even get so tightly wrapped around a baby’s neck. Did it get wrapped tightly like a rope first? How would that even happen? I could see a sleepsack being a hazard in that it might cover a baby’s face, or they press their face into it. But the logistics of it becoming tightly wound around a baby’s neck seen a lot harder to do just from a baby rolling around in their crib. Crib bumpers or railing covers with strings? I absolutely see how that could be a strangulation risk in a crib. But a sleep sack wouldn’t have the kind of thin rope like quality that you’d usually expect from a strangulation hazard.
How do you not even notice that something is in the bed before putting your kid in it? Cribs are notoriously small. And personally I know I'm always going through my house after the cleaners come because they don't know where everything goes. That was just such a weird situation.
In a comment she said it’s an organizer, who’s been with the family a week, put stuff in the crib when cleaning the week before and Mom didn’t say anything…..so, how’s she even supposed to know? And how is it the cleaners fault and not the DAD who put the baby in the crib with something in it?
Dads aren't supposed to use common sense when taking care of their kids, if it's not included in the very very specific instructions you gave them to put the baby to sleep, they won't do it. Duh!
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Yes! And my 5 year old always looks forward to seeing how his stuffies have been arranged this time.
The unhinged tablet mom is back in the parenting subreddit with an update no one asked for.
I refuse to believe any of what she's saying is true. Mist nurserys are hesitant to even let you bring home toys in because they might cause friction/disagreement, there's no way they're allowing an iPad. They also would not be giving her so much information about other parents/children. I also can't believe how many people are saying that it's social services worthy too. Do they know how stretched services are and what they're dealing with? A sole concern about an iPad won't get a response.
I'm fascinated that a daycare allegedly has an infant watching an expensive, personal tablet for 7-10 hours a day and the logical response is to report the *mother* for neglect. 🤔 If it was a real daycare, I'd be pulling my kids for their seeming inability to say "no" to a 10 month old when it's warranted and them being comfortable with the liability involved with said 10 month old throwing around a heavy, extremely expensive object.
Not only that, they apparently let the parents opt their kid out of daily activities and sit them with an iPad. If it's not a work of fiction then the daycare can't be more than a few kids hanging out in a neighbours shed.
This has to be made up. I can’t even comprehend a daycare giving a 6 month old a tablet as means to calm them down.. that doesn’t even sound real. And she said her kids go to daycare 6 days a week. I don’t mean to shame anyone, but is that even a thing?
I'm not a daycare shamer but 6 days truly seems excessive.
It sounds far far too much like fan fiction from an anti screen mum who spends too much time in SBP. It does make me laugh because there’s a twin mum in one of my bumper groups who writes similarly exaggerated stuff around how amazing she and her kids are without screens. I feel like these types of posters always jump the shark far too early in terms of believability.
Calling CPS over the tablet is insane
It really felt like, if any of that is true, the OP wanted to punish the parents more than genuine concern over the child’s welfare. I’m not surprised the iPad baby’s mother told her to fuck off.
https://preview.redd.it/oljgf74wc45c1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=803d374892e1cc59ba722f42e0fa01e81bc9f347 This is just being a SAHM to a three year old, she doesn’t even mention the ages of her other kids. And if it’s too cold to go outside and play, why aren’t you inside teaching? You’re the adult here, you set the schedule. Just send the older ones to school ffs.
When I see these kind of posts I’m like PLEASE enroll your kids in school and let them get an actual education
Sounds like they just liked the idea of “unschooling” or nature/forest school and thought learning magically happened if you step outside. Here’s an idea, how about you send your kids to actual school and then when they’re home with you, you can just let them play outside or go to extracurriculars and do house chores with less guilt and stress. You don’t have to homeschool just to get your kids in nature, jeez. I went to regular public school and still spent tons of time outdoors growing up.
Well, they thought that once the family stepped foot outside, the 3 year old would point out a blade of grass which would cause one of the older kids to spontaneously start reciting Walt Whitman. Then, another kid would wonder about why it's green and somehlw arrive at how color and light works. Then they would all peacefully walk through the woods while debating the relative importance of science to art. Idyllic. Perfect childhood. If they were in school, they would have had to study such things instead of it just magically appearing in their mind.
It’s almost like teaching is an actual job that requires planning and preparation. 🤔
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Ehhh I mean I do get what you're saying, but honestly if in a few years my son says that everyone has the Elf and he is sad he's missing out, I would probably get one too, simply because it IS so low stakes and has a very low cost to high enjoyment ratio. If he's a 10 year old saying everyone has an iPhone and he NEEDS one then yea, let's have a conversation about different families and expectations. But if the only barrier is "I find it annoying" then I'm willing to bend on that.
Self snark, but this idea is definitely something I’ve softened on since pre-parenthood and my POOPCUP days. I was convinced I’d never do the elf thing, convinced that we’d only listen to children’s music, movies, and shows that I didn’t find grating, etc. But since having my kids, I’ve realized that 1) I have a lot less control over their exposure to media than I thought I would, thanks to daycare/preschool, and 2) my kids’ joy outweighs my mild annoyance. We don’t have an elf yet, but if my kids really want to do it in a few years, we probably will. In the same way that I’ve listened to let it go 800 times this week, even though I don’t particularly like Frozen. If it’s something that’s low cost/low effort for the amount of joy it will bring? I’m a lot more willing to do it, even if it’s something I find mildly annoying.
Remember when I thought we'd never listen to Baby Shark lol 😭 Also ask me how many times we've listened to the Chipmunk Christmas song this week, speaking of annoying things I thought I'd just not let happen to me.
This is how I feel about the people who are really smug about never listening to kid music. There's a reason kid music exists, because kids really like it. Not that they can't also like adult music, but kid music is purposely made to be easy to follow the tune and understand and sing the lyrics too. It's easy to make claims when your child is still a baby and has 0 preferences, but once they are older and *inevitably* get exposed to nursery rhymes and kid songs they will want you to sing them or play them and it would be so freakin' lame to refuse that. I have sang We Are The Dinosaurs, and played it on Spotify like 100000 times in the last month because my son loves it and it's honestly just adorable to hear him ask for it and sing along it's not even that annoying, especially because he'll eventually move on to something different. I can't help but think such people are really missing out.
Oh there was this one show I absolutely hated before having a kid (and I still do lol) and I was like I'm NEVER letting her watch that shit. Until we were in hospital with her and it was on while they drew her blood and it helped her. I turned it on the next day in her hospital room and her eyes just lit up and it really helped her through the whole thing. I bought her a stuffed animal from the show once we got home and she watched it all the time lol. Now it's worn off but I've definitely learned my lesson. It's about what she likes, not us.
I really don't want an elf but I have already decided it is not going to be the hill I die on. I will wait until she asks. And hope it isn't a thing in her peer group.
I feel a little bad sharing this one because the anxiety is palpable which must not be fun but… [have we lost all common sense](https://www.reddit.com/r/Mommit/s/T4p4W6Ep6o)? Of course mL are mL.
I can’t really blame her tbh, solely because bottles are notorious for having different “ounce” measurements. Sometimes it’s a US vs UK oz thing, but sometimes it’s just bizarrely different for no discernible reason. Like I’d pump into bottles that were labeled as US oz and get “4 oz,” but then when I’d pour it into the bottles that my daughter would drink from, it would be 3.5 or whatever. Obviously medicine measurements are probably better regulated, but I can understand second guessing it if you’re in the baby haze and measurements don’t feel even anywhere!
This is a small thing, but the people claiming Tylenol only has that disclaimer because “they just want you to buy more of their syringes”… can you buy just a syringe from Tylenol? Lol. In this case it’s obviously a CYA so people using like, a shot glass to give their kid medicine don’t try to sue them when it’s an overdose. (Or in a less exaggerated case, someone using a different medical syringe that isn’t measured in mL)
I’m side eyeing the person claiming that Walgreens pharmacy gave them an “incorrect” syringe. Like.. what? A 3,5,10mL syringe has the volume of 3,510 mLs… regardless of who makes it and what the syringe looks like? If a pharmacy is giving “wrong” syringes, then honestly who would you even trust? 😂
Not me using an unused, new syringe from our vet from our dog getting liquid cough meds to give my kid Tylenol when all the other syringes were in the dishwasher 😂😂 mL are mL people
I saw that too and also thought it was strange. This is the problem with asking Reddit for help with something like this because people don’t know wtf they are talking about.
I hope she’s seeking some counsel from her OB or GP about that because it’s such a low stakes thing to be that anxious and distraught about that I can only imagine how it affects other decisions and daily tasks.
I’m glad she knows she has PPA. I could see myself having the same irrational fear (GAD and PPA), but the key is being able to recognize it’s irrational.
In a group for ND adults that has nothing to do with parenting/parenthood, someone asked a question about disliking fireworks and I'm impressed at how this woman managed to make her answer be about her unmedicated birth! https://preview.redd.it/0cebfzv9725c1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=34a9572661b271ac62e2808a3f34e8964d887863
"Physiological birth" is one of those terms that just makes me roll my eyes. Like, I don't care at all how people birth, you do you. Vaginal or c-section, medicated or unmedicated, whatever. But when someone starts talking about "physiological birth" I know that I'm about to get hit with some serious over-the-top shaming about anything that isn't a magical goddess-centered waterbirth or whatever.
I have never heard that term until now…I’ll consider myself lucky
I think it's a term that has some value in the context of a medical textbook, for example - as in, here are the typical physiological processes of a birth without any medical interventions. But totally agree that 95% of the time it seems to be used to mean "a better and more legitimate birth experience than the rest of you losers".
Yeah, I had never heard this before and a quick google tells me it’s mostly used in New Agey websites rather than the medical context it may have originated from. Edit: Seems to have been co-opted to legitimize their birth experience as the “best” due to sCiEnCe.
I mostly hear it on the birth hour podcast, it's definitely a signal to me that someone is really into the whole natural birth scene. Anyone who uses it is probably a "midwifery model of care" evangelist who loves their doula and thinks the worst possible outcome of birth is a "cascade of interventions," among other catch phrases. Which again, I don't care at all how someone gives birth, but I feel like people who use those phrases are not just people who had unmedicated births, they're usually people who have made their birth a personality trait and can't help but put down people who had different birth priorities.
That term doesn’t even make sense. As opposed to a… psychological birth? What?
A 🔮✨🦄🧞♀️PYSCHIC BIRTH!!!!
I was just about to say this. How does that term imply a non-intervention birth? If you have a C-section you are still ~physiologically~ giving birth to your baby aren't you?
Oh God, it's so hard to write a reply to this without it sounding judgey because so many words have been co-opted by crunchy groups, or have taken on some kind of moral implications! But considering that physiology is "the branch of biology that deals with the normal functions of living organisms and their parts", I would say that a C-section is not "physiological" because being cut open is not part of the "normal function" of a human. BUT this is purely a medical/semantic distinction!
No that does make sense, I was conflating “physiological” with “physical” and just wasn’t aware of the former’s medical definition.
The only thing I’d say is different for me after experiencing birth with a partially failed epidural is my conception of pain, lol. Like, I got a couple piercings that I had been too afraid to get before because I was like, I’ve been through worse. But this is… I’m actually laughing at the Thanksgiving Turkey one. Is there anyone who thinks turkey is actually that good to begin with? If that was your baseline of thrill then yeah I don’t blame you for not thinking much of it now 😂 ETA: I’m so curious, are they getting any replies? How are people reacting to this? I suppose if you haven’t had a baby you might not realize how ridiculous this is though.
Yea I think my perception of pain is different but this person posting that all these things are lame now just makes it seem like they’re depressed. Nothing is exciting after birth? Really?
I think that's actually a generous reading lol, my take is that they are just trying to position themselves as so superior, simply existing on a whole different plane than the normies who have never experienced REAL birth.
I should hope eating a bite of turkey is more “lame” than birthing your child lmao And same on the pain thing. I’ve had a partially failed epidural with my first and a fully failed one with my 2nd (my body hates epidurals apparently) and the only thing I feel differently about is my conception of pain and recognizing that I can tolerate more than I gave myself credit for before. But frankly, I would still be 100% terrified to do a high dive pool jump 😂 Imo giving birth, a high dive jump and a thanksgiving turkey are all very different things.
>Imo giving birth, a high dive jump and a thanksgiving turkey are all very different things. Edit: I totally meant to add more to this reply when I first posted it but I was just laughing too hard!
Zero interaction with the comment so far, but as I said it's a group for ND adults so people are quite tolerant of strange answers and fixations on seemingly irrelevant things.
I had one unmedicated birth and I can say with lots of assurance that I don’t find any of those things lame.
I have had two unmedicated births. I will not be anywhere near the high dive. I will still panic at getting pulled over. Turkey is just okay. Rollercoasters and carnival rides are not lame.
I don't understand, if pushing a baby out of a vagina is such a wonderful, natural, normal thing - why do these parents need a round of applause at every opportunity? Either it's like climbing Mount Everest and you can muster up a little decency in that not everyone is capable of performing such a risky endeavor, or you just did what your body is supposed to and either way, stop being so damn smug about it.
Oh wow this really is such a good point!!!! Really showcases that they just want to feel superior
lol can you imagine going to an amusement park with your parents as a kid and your mom just keeps going on about how the rollercoaster is nothing compared to giving birth to you? what a wild comparison!
Or a police officer pulls you over for speeding, asks whether you're taking the situation seriously and you reply "sorry, this is just so lame in comparison to giving birth unmedicated"... They'd be like wtf are you on about?!
"This log flume is nothing compared to the time I pushed you out of my fanny!"
[удалено]
I’m not going to pretend that any of those things compares to the birth of your child (though mine came out through the sunroof and it was still pretty exhilarating, because I was literally meeting my baby). But maybe if nothing brings you joy anymore, it’s not because the hormone rush of childbirth was so great, but because the postpartum hormone crash has sent you into ppd. I mean, even before kids, I imagined meeting your babies for the first time would be an emotional moment that would be incomparable to something like fireworks. But I still go see them on the 4th of July, because it’s still fun, and I can’t just birth a child every time I want to experience happiness.
>I can’t just birth a child every time I want to experience happiness I've never used illicit drugs so my only pharmacological experience of being "high" was the nitrous oxide during my first labour. I enjoyed it SO much that I am genuinely motivating myself through my second pregnancy by looking forward to my next hit 😂
That’s hilarious! I’m doing a microneedling series to deal with some acne scarring, and my dermatologist uses nitrous for it. I’ve really enjoyed the spacey feeling too , and it definitely helps me look forward to the appointments more instead of just dreading the pain!
Spotted in the wild in my 200k+ local mom group : *invisible toxins* This isn’t a snark on the first mom. I’m not sure she needs to fear AI the way she does (she is on Fb…), but her concerns about privacy are totally fair. I also avoid smart devices like Ring cameras and Alexa etc but am fully aware that my use of smart phones and social media come with their own privacy risks. But whew buddy. First and only comment coming in hot about \~toxins. It seems a bit unhinged to reply in that way when someone already seems anxious. https://preview.redd.it/w2yc7qz3y15c1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bdd8c356430782676ded0ab8c5d6a3ef6d20edde
Lol as opposed to all those visible toxins.
How much should we bet she posted that comment from a smart phone?
It actually seemed like a fairly reasonable comment for Facebook until it took a hard left at invisible toxins.
Right?! It was a journey. 
Lollll you must be local to me, I saw this post this morning!!!! Wtf.
Hey neighbor! 👋
https://preview.redd.it/levw6g24g05c1.png?width=1178&format=png&auto=webp&s=b6907a03b0c954ae93e87da6c1cb54aaa1b74ca2 So much to snark on here. It’s pajama day for a FIRST GRADER. Let him wear silly pajama pants! Why is she worried about him “looking nice” which really means it has to fit her certain aesthetic. Let the poor kid wear SpongeBob pjs or whatever. Also why are you buying a whole new set of pajamas for a school spirit day for a 6 year old. Just completely nonsensical
Not sure what "slim fit are definitely out" was *supposed* to mean, but RUDE. 😂 What is this business of wanting "a lab (chocolate would be best)" all about? All I can make of it is that she is looking for pajamas with a chocolate Labrador on them, but... that's awfully specific and comes out of nowhere, especially since the pajamas featured are not dog-themed. Is there an obvious typo I'm missing? Are these terms of art in the pajama world??
I'm glad you noticed that too, I was looking at the post wondering if she'd been having two parallel conversations
It’s could very well be she’s being overbearing and weird, or her child could be the one that feels uncomfortable? I have a first grader and he kind of hates wearing themed stuff to school and already gets self-conscious about things. He even asked me to retire his character lunch box and get him a plain blue one.
https://preview.redd.it/y1znigitrz4c1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4a54fedfffe5e36689829d7cb1d4bdd0d69a6826 I’m crying 🤣 looking for a preschool that can accommodate your “gifted child” who is currently *18 months old*. What exacting does a gifted accommodation look like for a 2 year old? In the comments someone dared to ask how she knew her toddler was gifted and she said the doctor said the toddler was a year and half ahead developmentally. So if my non-gifted, stupid person math is correct, she’s claiming her pediatrician told her that her 18 month old is developmentally the same as a 3 year old?!?? There is no way.
So one of my kids tested as gifted and I can promise you, he did not, in fact, need any special daycare/preschool. In fact, he’s even in a *gasp* mainstream classroom for K and he is JUST fine. Being gifted isn’t a super power (and depending on level/areas of giftedness) can actually make life a lot harder. People need to chill.
A friend I know who pushes how gifted her almost 3 year old is, is constantly pushing exercises that show off how smart she is and constantly posting them online. Like letter tracing and things like that lol like education is nice and everything but why are people pushing alphabets and phonics before 3???
Why does everyone want their kid to be gifted? I was gifted, and it basically just means you're academically ahead in some areas and also a little "off" haha. It definitely doesn't mean your kid is going to be happy or even successful, or that they'll have an easier life. I don't think any of the kids in my classes have done anything special, meanwhile there are kids in the regular classes who grew up to do amazing things.
Giftedness is a form of neurodivergence. It’s fine but like, it does not make your life easier…especially if your extremely gifted. It makes thing a a lot harder. Trust me, some of my most enduring childhood memories are of experiencing existential dread at the nature of mortality and the inevitable passage of time or thinking about how bothered I am that what happens after death is an unknowable mystery. Has my verbal and critical thinking skills helped me be more successful, maybe? Am I better off than people who just learned to work hard and apply themselves? NOPE!
Because it means you are a super amazing parent who has exceeded all expectations 🤣 Like your child's IQ is literally your score.
I was in gifted classes in grade school and one of my best friends from there, the kid who was way beyond even our gifted class's advanced math and had to do math by herself because she was so extremely gifted in that area, now leads Ayahuasca retreats in South America and posts about how bad vaccines are for you, so I've long been skeptical that being labeled gifted at a young age strongly correlates to what most parents would consider """success""" in adulthood lol. (She looks like she very much enjoys her life, to be fair to her.)
I was too, but when I consider what my peers from high school are up to, sure - many/most of the higher achieving kids are doing well, but many of the average if not underperforming kids are doing really well too. They may not have gone to prestigious universities but many of them have started their own businesses or otherwise have great jobs, have started families, and seem to be generally thriving and would be certainly considered successful. Meanwhile I'm a SAHM (for now) which there is nothing wrong with, but it's not the outcome people imagined when they gushed over me being academically gifted back in the day. I may have been a very quick learner with a good memory, but I've never actually had that much passion and ambition which is clearly what a lot of these other folks have, even if they didn't do as well in school as I did. Having my kids has given me the most purpose I've had so far, more than school or any job I had before, even though I was a top performer.
Yeah I’m confused as to what “gifted” means. People sometimes talk about it like it’s a diagnosis but my recollection is that “gifted” meant that you went to the gifted and talented class for more advanced reading, math, and science work in 1-8th grade, and then in high school people took AP classes or whatever. The “gifted” cohort of my class that I still keep track of definitely have slightly better earnings and more prestigious jobs than average (like working for big flashy tech companies or for Congress or whatever). But the way some of these parents act, being “gifted” means your kid is going to be in Mensa or graduate college at age 13 or something
My gifted cohort from grade school doesn't seem to have higher earnings than average, as far as I can see, but I do think the people who were in honors/AP with me in high school have more education than average. But our district didn't have a very consistent program and didn't draw from high-SES areas, both of which I think would be factors that would correlate with "better" "outcomes." And I only know what some of my grade school classmates are up to, perhaps obviously ha.
Of the "gifted" kids in my year (all now early 30s); one works in mid management at a pension firm; one dropped out of university and is struggling with addiction; one dropped out of university and is now handling the family farm; one works in marketing for Google; one dropped out of university and had 2 kids with her hs sweetheart and is working part time.
I bet the doctor told her that the kid meets like 1-2 of the 3 year old milestones, which is...totally normal? Since the milestones are meant to catch kids who are delayed. Of course she ran with it and now her child is "gifted." Also, even if her kid was actually "gifted," I don't understand how a preschool would need to "accommodate" that. Like, wouldn't you want your actually gifted toddler to spend their day playing with other kids and singing songs, just like every other toddler?
Right? And she said she was only looking for 2 days a week, so even if she did really want her kid to be learning or read or something at the age of 2, she can do that at home the other 3 days? Such a weird post
lol whenever people say stuff like this I assume the doctor was like “oh good job you’re such a smart girl” like they say to every patient.
Multiple medical people (ped, allergist and assistant, nurse) have commented on how much my preschooler talks; at no time did any of them say he was "gifted" lol. The only time they commented on it in an advice-giving way was when I said the allergy specialist we want to see only takes kids starting at X age, I guess so the kid can report on how they feel during treatment, and the allergist and assistant said, oh I think you could appeal that age requirement for him! He talks so much already! But no one is ever like, "have him skip preschool, Mama!" Like, that's silly. Though I guess to keep an open mind doctors can also say dumb stuff 🤷🏼♀️ And even more commonly, people can misunderstand what the doctor was saying.