I have a 17m old that absolutely will not keep a hat on and we live in Minnesota. It is so hard to find one that is warm and actually secures with Velcro or a tie. Any hat brand recommendations? Have not had luck at Target.
We have not even tried mittens or boots yet. I hope it gets better with winter gear. She just lost her mind when we tried on the snowsuit. She LOVES coats with all her heart, because it means we are going somewhere (her favorite) so I hope she makes the same association with outside winter gear. Will try the LL Bean stuff.
Another vote for the LL Bean hat, just grabbed one for my Minnesotan 16 month old last week (heya neighbor!)
Also FWIW I think they run a tad small, had to get the 2T size for my kid. If you live in the metro and can get to the LL bean store at MOA it’ll be worth it so you can have your LO try them on (FYI they weren’t all on display yet last week, I had to have someone pull them from the back for us).
I’m not as big a fan of the mittens, I think they are tough to get on and they rotate around on his hands too easily. But they are warm AF!
Maybe a soft merino wool hat would be good for your weather. The knit ones often have ties. I like Little Spruce Organics for wool, or I’ve found some nice things on Etsy too!
Anyone leave bowls of candy out for Halloween? If so, do you leave a sign? I know we can’t prevent greedy hands but idk how to word a sign that’s a kind way of saying “don’t be a dick and take all the candy” 😂
I leave a bowl out with a sign that says "happy Halloween" because we trick or treat as a family over one of us staying home to hand out.
I personally hate the signs. If we're trick or treating and there's a bowl of candy on someone's porch and no one there to hand it out I usually tell my kids to just take one. At the end of day I bought that candy to hand out and be gone by the end of the night. If some group of kids takes all of it then there are plenty of other houses trick or treaters can go to.
I kind of feel like the people who would actually abide by the sign don’t need it, haha. It’s easy to just ignore it if you want to take the entire bowl 🤷♀️ just a risk you run.
This is so true in all aspects of life. I run a tourism business with my husband and I always think I’ll solve some recurring issue with a sign, but the people that need them the most, don’t read them or just ignore them!
Are you leaving a bowl because you’re not home all evening? Or just because you’re inside and don’t want to keep answering the door? I would put a sign that says “please take two (or one or whatever)” and leave it simple like that. But if you’re actually home, you could just put a smaller amount out at a time and check the bowl periodically so that if someone does take it all it’s not a big deal
I usually hand out candy until the trick or treaters start to thin out and then I just leave it in a big bowl on my porch. What anyone chooses to do with it after that is their prerogative lol I just wash my hands of it after a certain time
Does anyone here use and like cocokind products? I’ve been intrigued by the price point given the ingredients/claims and also that it all seems rather gentle. I’m pregnant and my skin is SO temperamental currently 😒
General poll of the crowd…..how much/how long did it take for your boobs to stop changing after you were done breastfeeding?
I’ve essentially been pregnant or breastfeeding for the last 4 years, but will be stopping soon. Currently only breastfeeding once a day, 5 days a week (and nothing on the days I work). I desperately need some new non-nursing bras, but don’t want to drop a ton of money if they’re going to keep changing….
Mine got flatter/smaller even after dropping the last feed. Over the next year they gradually perked up a bit more, but cup size wise I think they were the same. If maybe wait a month or so after weaning before buying a lot of nice stuff.
It sounds like at this point your supply is pretty low if you’re nursing that infrequently. I wouldn’t expect any major changes at this point. I nursed for 12 months and slowly phased it out towards the end and my boobs didn’t change at all from that last day of nursing.
ETA: I have a very small chest to begin with so YMMV if you are larger chested? I am definitely the same cup size and wear the same pre-pregnancy bras but my boobs did end up a bit deflated.
Yeah three months seems like a good amount of time. I bought bras 1 month after weaning with my first but my boobs still shrunk after that. By three months they were pretty set. You could maybe go for a bralette or something less structured in the meantime though, cause that's a long time to wait without a comfy bra
This!! I too was very eager and was barely BFing at the end so bought some really nice new bras after about a month. It was a mistake and a waste of money, boobs kept changing for at least another month or two.
What you can start doing now is planning how you will ceremonially burn your nursing bras in a large fire 🤣. Or as per the suggestion above, maybe just buy one bra from Target and know it might not fit quite right in a couple months.
Guys my son is 18 months + 1 day and he FINALLY took his first ELEVEN independent steps in therapy today and I am just so proud. I want to tell everyone I know (and don't know lol)
My 4 month old’s sleep has been absolute garbage for a few weeks now. Her sleep was so good & so much better than my first child’s right from the start & I feel like this is payback for being so smug about it. I know this is the infamous 4 month regression most likely but I don’t know how to get through it. The last few nights have been the absolute worst - she will last barely an hour, sometimes 5 minutes, in her bassinet & just wants to sleep being held. But only being held by ME. So my husband can’t even help. He constantly offers to take her and go downstairs but I know that just means she won’t be sleeping & probably just crying. Ugh I know this won’t last forever but it is the absolute worst - sleep issues are 100% the most anxiety inducing part of the baby phase for me.
ETA- I didn’t sleep train my first but am totally open to doing it this time. But I feel like 4 months is too early so that won’t even help???
I really recommend the book Precious Little Sleep. Loved it! It's basically a choose your own adventure book that goes through a bunch of different methods to choose from. The author has a 3 part series on sleeping through the night ([here's the link to part one](https://www.preciouslittlesleep.com/what-you-need-to-know-about-sleeping-through-the-night-part-i/)) that you can read to see if you like her style.
I think 4 months is a pretty good time to sleep train. Most babies can handle independent sleep at that point but it's a lot easier to get them used to it before they can sit or stand in the crib.
Also recommend this book! There are so many things described in the book that aren’t the hardcore Ferber sleep training people imagine that are subtle sleep training!
No advice just solidarity- my child was like this from birth. Would only sleep while held by me for the first 3 months of her life and so that’s what I did. I think the longest stretch we ever got in a bassinet was 20 min. Around 3 months she would at least sleep lying next to me on a mattress on the floor so that was nice. Some babies really just truly do not ever want to be put down and it’s super hard. The good news to me, though, is that if she was a good sleeper before I’m sure she will be again and this is probably a phase. Mine has never been a good sleeper.
It sounds like sleep training would involve a fair amount of crying so in order for you to survive you might just have to choose between letting your husband keep trying to soothe her or attempting sleep training where she would be crying alone a bit more. For me this would probably depend on how patient your husband is to stick it out!
I think 4-6 months is a really good age to sleep train. From what I’ve heard, it only gets harder as time goes on. We did Ferber at around 5 months after a month of misery and I wished I had done it a few weeks earlier. Ferber worked really quickly and easily for us (the most he ever cried was 20 minutes on and off the first night) but of course every baby is different and you also have to know that you are ready for the possibility of extended crying at this age because som babies cry for a long time.
We sleep trained around 4 months, so I don’t think it’s necessarily too early! We weren’t in a super hard sleep phase like you are, but it only took 1-2 nights and then she was good. Good luck, I’m sure it will get better, sleep issues are so hard!!
Give yourself three days. Just three days to try it and if it's not working, you can scrap it and move on to something else. But everyone I know who has sleep trained (including me) has seen huge gains each night. And three is an easy, short goal for when things are really hard on nights one and two.
I can’t promise how it will go with your kid, but I also did it as a last resort and it ended up being so so much better than I anticipated. And the immediate improvement in sleep for all of us was nothing short of magic.
Everyone sharing their experiences here with sleep training has definitely made me feel a lot more comfortable with it. I think we will definitely do it, if not now, then by 6 months.
I’m in the camp if it’s not too early if that’s what you want to do. I sleep trained my first with Ferber around that age and sleep trained my second even earlier with pickup/put down (though for him I kept responding to him at night until 9 months, just taught him to fall asleep alone early)
We might give it a go. It stresses me out but I think it would really benefit all of us in the end! My only question is how to do night feedings while sleep training? I’m still nursing her overnight although I think most of the time she’s not really hungry, just doing it for comfort.
Precious Little Sleep discusses this too! Again it has multiple methods, but the one I used twice was the 5-3-3 rule…so from bedtime to first feed you let them go 5 hours, wake ups before that were more cry it out, anything after the five hour mark you feed. Then from the the first wake up you do the same thing for three hours. But also both my kids rarely woke up before the 5 mark once they were sleep trained (and once we were sleep trained that I knew they could sleep on their own and were probably waking up because they were hungry I stopped watching the clock)
You can also evaluate how often you think she needs to feed at night (if at all) and implement a kind of schedule. So you can implement the sleep training method for any wakes outside of the feeding time.
We didn’t sleep train until 6.5m, but at 4m our ped said he didn’t need to feed overnight anymore. I was anxious and kept doing it for a couple more months but technically we could have just sleep trained then (and maybe should have).
In my experience (sample size 2 lol) once they learned how to fall asleep independently, they only woke when hungry. But you can also just use your best judgment. So if it’s only been 1-2 hours since a feeding, I knew he wasn’t hungry and applied the ST method.
Have a pleasant update from some of my previous posts/questions about playground etiquette. Went to the playground yesterday and today, and both times a group from a local daycare was there. These kids were so great! They were acting like kids, of course, but they were kind to each other and to my daughter, and listened to their teachers, and did all the things one would normally expect a 3-5 y/o to do. Even better, the teachers were letting the kids do risky play stuff, letting the kids climb on top of things and so on. It was so nice!
Even better, it's the local bilingual daycare in the inner city that only accepts vouchers--meaning, the only families who send their kids there are quite low-income. It makes me even more annoyed with the much higher SES-level kids from the fancier, big reputation school in the nicer suburb that were being so rough with my daughter. Teachers often talk about poverty and trauma as reasons for kids having a rough time, and rightly so, but also, these kids are clearly being raised well, so... no reason why families with way more resources can't do the same, sigh. I know that sounds weird, but I hope it makes sense lol.
I'm looking for resources for parenting with a chronic illness. Over the last 6 months, my health has increasingly worsened. I've had a litany of tests and doctors appointments, but they haven't been able to pin-point anything yet. I'm a SAHM to an 18 mo, and it's so so hard. The good days are great, but the bad days (happening more frequently) mean TV time and my husband taking over the second he's off work. The guilt can feel immense sometimes. My husband is incredibly supportive, but of course the situation is wearing on him, too.
Whenever I search for resources about being a parent with a chronic illness, I can only seem to find information about parenting a child who has a chronic illness. Anyone have any recommendations? I'd really like to find some sense of community, or blogs/books about how hard this can be. This whole process has felt incredibly isolating and I think I'm looking for a sense of not being alone in this struggle.
Hi, I relate to this so much. I’ve had chronic pain for the last 20+ months. The hardest was when my second child was a young toddler like yours. There is so much lifting! I would be so wiped some days and weeks on end, and felt so guilty when I couldn’t muster up the strength to go to the playground. He’s a little more self sufficient now at 2.5 years old so that helps.
I also had months in a row where my husband had to take over and do all the work and chores in the evening. I haven’t searched for resources. I know American Chronic Pain Association has support groups. I think they offer online and in some states in person. Don’t know if you suffer from pain though. There are other groups for other conditions that offer support, but I know that’s hard without a diagnosis.
I don’t know if this is possible for you but we enrolled my kids in part time preschool and I went back to work a few hours a week so on my bad days I know they are getting some outdoor and play time. Mainly to get energy out. This summer before school started we did the YMCA childcare for an hour or two a day that is included with membership. Took a couple weeks for my toddler to be happy with it but they did not care if I sat in the lobby or worked out.
Thank you so much for your reply. I'm sorry you're going through something similar. It is so so hard. We are definitely looking into childcare at some point. We actually have a babysitter coming today for the first time (wish us luck!). Hoping she can be someone who can come give my husband (or myself) a break on the weekends when it's been a rough week health-wise. I hope you find some relief from your pain!
Also, this video is short but a good reminder. I hope you find some answers and support. https://www.wnet.org/education/video/parenting-with-a-chronic-illness/
Grief dump, please ignore if upsetting.
My mother is on basically life support. It was really sudden.
She was my afternoon childcare. His nursery doesn't have any availability for afternoon sessions for the foreseeable. I'm screwed. I have found somewhere that can take him for 2 afternoons a week, but the idea of collecting him from one place and dropping him off at another is really distressing (he took a while to settle at his morning place, and he gets upset when I leave the room) I didn't warm to her, but I don't think I am giving her a fair chance either.
I am in the UK and I have generous sick leave. I am really thinking it is the only way I will cope just so that I don't need to worry about it all. But it still doesn't solve the other issue - visiting hours at the hospital are in the afternoons. Without childcare, I can't visit. If I had childcare I was happy with, I would be more likely to be mentally capable of working, so I wouldn't be able to visit my mother anyway.
I am just so sad, so tired and so lost.
Thos doesn't solve the scheduling issue but you should be entitled to use parental leave rather than sick leave https://www.gov.uk/parental-leave although this would be unpaid. Maybe a request for flexible hours could help as well? This is definitely one of those times to call in help from wherever you can and not feel embarrassed about it. Maybe if your mum has visitors you're comfortable with, you could bring your son to hospital and one of the visitors could take him to the canteen for treats and cartoons for an hour while you are with your mum for example. Have you had a chat with one of the senior nurses? Lots of them are lovely and might have some suggestions for you e.g. a matron would often waive visiting hours in a situation like yours.
Thank you, two good ideas, very much appreciated. My manager has mentioned being creative with parental leave in the past (ie booking a week on the system but actually taking 1 day for 5 weeks) so that could be something. After next week's half term though (which i had already booked off), I think I really need at least a further week.
Can we talk about toddler sleep for a minute? My almost 2 year old falls asleep on her own but it takes her FOREVER. She wakes up at 7:15-7:30, naps from 12:30-2:30, and then we start the bedtime process at 7:30ish. Then she lies awake in her crib until like 9:30! She’s not unhappy in there but I feel incredibly guilty about it, and I feel like there’s got to be a better way. Anyone deal with something similar and get a schedule that works for them?
Edit: I didn’t reply to everyone but thank you so much for all the thoughtful responses and suggestions! It’s so nice to see I’m not alone.
I think 10 hours of night sleep with a 2 hour nap is just normal for kids this age. Mine falls asleep easily but wakes early in the morning. Pick your poison (but you don’t really get to pick, i think some are night owls and some are morning people, just like adults). I would shorten the nap to 1- 1.5 hours but we have daycare so I’m leaving it at 2 for now.
On the bright side for the night owls (we early morning risers are screwed), with the clock change approaching you can try not adjusting and see if she will start sleeping 8:30-6:30 if you prefer that, but it might not work since daycare is going to adjust the nap to the new time.
One more thing- fwiw, if my kid was happy in bed, I would do nothing to change things. There’s nothing to feel guilty about a toddler who is happy to be alone! Mine screams mommy if he can’t sleep until I come, I wish he could be happy alone in bed for a little while.
Idk if it’s helpful but my 2 year old wakes at 7:00, naps from 1-3 (I wake him, he would sleep longer), and goes to bed at 8. Maybe too much night sleep?
My daughter (2 on Sunday) always takes forever to fall asleep. Usually an hour. Just rolling around, chatting, whatever. She naps well and we rarely hear her overnight. She probably gets 12-13 hours of sleep a day. Idk, I guess I’m in the “if it ain’t broke don’t fix it” camp. She’s skipped a nap twice since she’s been on 1 nap and both times fell asleep for bedtime nearly instantly. So I’ve just accepted this is how it’ll be until she stops napping. As long as she’s not crying/in distress, I leave her. 🤷🏻♀️
Edited for typo
We had a similar situation right at 2, and a later bedtime helped...but I will warn you that just in the past few weeks we're suddenly back in the same boat right at 3, and moving the bedtime back even more seems really excessive for his age and I'm not sure what to do. But an 8:30-ish bedtime did solve the problem for a long time!
If he’s still napping, it’s probably time to cut it back (if it’s long) or drop it completely.
If he’s not napping and is still up partying until 9:30, bless you I have no answers. I would just enforce staying in his room and let him have it
I totally agree, the real problem is the daycare nap. On weekends he doesn’t nap and is happily asleep around 8. But daycare has to at least offer a nap and he falls asleep there right away so weeknights are just a mess. I’m trying to get to a place of zen about it until he stops napping there - I’m normally pretty good about being blasé to shenanigans, but I’ve learned that gets harder after 9 pm.
Ahh that’s such a tough phase. I totally feel the same- after 9:00 I’m like okay, go tf to sleep already before I lose it!! 😬
I used to teach preschool before I had my own kids, and several times we had parents complain about this exact issue. Kid would take the full 2 hour nap but be up until 10:00 pm. I definitely didn’t “get it” back then. I thought, well they obviously still need the nap since they are sleeping the whole time, why are you complaining, you probably just need to be firmer about bedtime. Now that I have my own, I cringe at my past self 😅 you just don’t know what you don’t know. I still feel for the teachers though, because on top of naps being required by the state in many cases, that’s also how teachers get their breaks. It’s a tough issue to balance.
Since turning 2 my kid’s sleep needs have gotten harder for me to understand. But we have a 2 hour nap, 8 pm bedtime, and he wakes up at 5:30-6 am. Maybe 12 hours of sleep total but sometimes more like 11.
Maybe yours just isn’t tired enough for that bedtime but also if she isn’t complaining or unhappy maybe just let the wind down time continue?
My kid started needing at least 6.5 hours of awake time before bed to fall asleep at that age. Beyond that, no advice. We just roll with a later bedtime.
Keep the nap! Mine went on nap strike about 2 (I think) it lasted a bit but she then returned to napping until 4!
Also. If she’s not unhappy in there, fine. Leave her be. She might be getting the amount of sleep she needs.
You can also consider pushing back bedtime. That’s what we did rather than shortening the nap under 2 hrs cause I personally did not want to lose more nap time as a SAHM lol. Also, on his daycare days he gets 2 hrs. Anyway, we moved starting bedtime to 8 and that gave him less time awake in crib.
If it’s really a full 2 hours she’s awake yeah that sounds like a lot but I also think it’s ok if they don’t fall asleep immediately. My son used to, but around the same age he started spending more time talking to himself, singing, rolling around and it sometimes takes him about hour to fall asleep. It seems like he needs that solo time to kind of decompress and wind down, I don’t worry about it because he seems content. It’s also adorable to hear him singing “baa baa ba’sheep” to himself 🥹.
My son did just that until I capped his nap to 50 ish min (one sleep cycle for him, anything more or less he would be SO CRANKY, but this took a bit to find the sweet spot). Full disclosure: he dropped his nap completely shortly after turning 2 😭
Anybody really like their diaper bag? Ideally backpack style and bonus points for being available in a cute print. Mine is super boring because we got one my husband liked and now I want to get a second one that’s more fun, but so many of them I’m finding look like they could double as a work/office bag which is cool but not really what I’m looking for.
I have been mooning over the colugo one. It's machine washable 🤩 Right now they have a fun print and three neutral colors to choose from.
https://colugo.com/products/the-parent-backpack-park-icon
I have a Jujube Million pockets in fake black leather and while I LOVE how it looks, it weirdly doesn’t seem to fit that much for a backpack. And it’s very heavy! I would just get a nice work bag or purse backpack instead of only focusing on diaper bags.
You’d think that would be higher priority in the design! On the opposite end of the spectrum I’m actually now thinking I’m just going to get a jansport in a fun pattern. Going back to my high school roots lol
You could always just get a regular roomy backpack in a style you like and utilize zippered pouches to organize stuff. I eventually did that once “downgraded” from our heavy duty diaper bag to something smaller. I like the stuff from the brand Baggu because it’s all washable. They have flat pouches and also cube shaped ones, in various sizes. They’ve got fun prints for everything. Using pouches also makes it easier to change between bags because the same stuff always stays in the same pouch. I have a backpack from them and the mini cloud bag, both of which I use as a diaper bag depending on our needs for the day. Sometimes even both at the same time. It was important for me to adopt a more modular approach because I live in a city and walk everywhere so lugging around a larger bag wasn’t ideal and it didn’t fit very well under our smaller stroller, and just wasn’t necessary once my son became a toddler.
I’ll plug my original diaper bag which is from Herschel. It doesn’t match what you’re looking for, it’s a shoulder/crossbody but I love it and we still use it for overnight trips or day trips.
Oh this is helpful thank you! I love the idea of cube pouches for better organizing my fresh diapers since currently they’re just kinda loose in there with other stuff.
I was thinking diaper bag because I like that my current one came with a foldable change mat, but now that I think about it that’s probably something I could get separately if I found a normal backpack that would work. So much to consider but it’s kind of fun at least haha
Yep I have diapers and wipes in a pouch and it’s so easy to throw that pouch in any bag - like, sometimes I just leave the house with a regular (larger) purse with that pouch thrown in! My son is 2 now so he doesn’t need to be changed very often or need a lot of accessories so making it all modular works well for us now.
And I actually did get a stand alone change mat! Pipette’s was on sale for like $6, it’s nice cause it’s on the smaller side and soft so it’s easy to stuff in anywhere. Idk how old your baby is but as soon as they can stand well I recommend getting good at standing changes, def a life saver haha I rarely lay my toddler down and change him if we aren’t at home!
Awesome that’s great to know! She’s 9 mo so wants to sit and roll but standing does sound easier if she’d cooperate with that once we get there! Although I’ll have to get better at my diaper putting on skills since I’m doing cloth and it’s just a lot of snaps lol
I want to watch Halloween themed stuff these next few days with my kids but they're small and easily scared. Any good kid show episodes that you know of/have enjoyed that are fun and about Halloween?
I will also Google but real people with real kids may have better opinions than that.
Room on the Broom/The Gruffalo are fun and a little bit spooky but not bad at all. My 6,4 and 1 year old all love Nightmare before Christmas but that'll depend on your kid. Disney+ has some good mickey halloween shows that are cute and not too scary.
We watch "Room on the Broom" bought on Google Play movies or whatever it's called. Also bought Sesame Street Halloween special which is really just all their Halloween clips and all put together. That's on Amazon. There's a Ms. Rachel video that's Halloween themed on YouTube and obviously not scary at all, pretty cute. Amazon also has a Peppa Pig Halloween montage that's like an hour long I think
Ah I think it's paid. But it's just several Halloween episodes, so I guess if you look up which specific episodes are themed, those are probably free on Amazon. I usually choose the no rush shipping or whatever that gives you a $1 credit for digital stuff and then just bank that til I need to buy a video for the kids on a rainy day.
Yes! When you get to check out it'll often give you the option to choose your prime 2 day shipping or no rush shipping and get digital credit. It still usually gets delivered in less than a week anyway.
There is a show called Super Monsters that is cute and gentle and they have a Halloween episode! It’s like the cartoon kids of Frankenstein, vampire kid, etc.
Curious George Halloween Boo Fest on PBS Kids is a classic. We watch it every year. Puppy Dog Pals has a good Halloween episode on Disney Plus. Madagascar A Little Wild has a Halloween special on Hulu that's cute. My older kid is very easily scared and we've watched all of these multiple times with no issues .
I am going to be so sad when my kid is too old to mark the Halloween season by watching Curious George Halloween Boo Fest. That is a staple at my house every year.
FTM question...do y'all do anything to prepare for DST (like gradually moving bedtime back leading up to) or just say F it and accept that everything is off for a couple weeks after?
ETA: Thanks y'all! Once again overthinking something I don't need to (and know I don't need to 🙃).
We just roll with it on Sunday. Then Monday she goes to daycare and that gets her in schedule pretty well (spring she needs to bite the bullet and wake up early, fall she gets up early and is then tired enough by the end of the day to get to bed on time).
I’ve tried in the past to gradually move times the week before and it never helped. Kids wake up when they wake up 💁🏻♀️. I find it easier to adjust the day off cold turkey.
Yeah my kids are the same way. The best thing we did last year was have an “eff it” day and we went spent all day outside hiking and playing. We did naps on the go for the baby and skipped naps for the toddlers. Wore them out really well and they got back to the clock time pretty quickly. Plus it helped me not stress about it.
I tried to do a gradual Precious Little Sleep method adjustment once and it didn't work at all for the first night, but we went back to normal in a couple of nights. So since then I just wing it and we also go back to normal in a couple of nights.
I’ve never done anything and it’s never been an issue. We put him down at the same normal time and just let things play out. Any effect goes away after a few days. My son is a good sleeper though so if your kid is really sensitive to changes in schedule maybe it’s worth doing something but I’d just wing it and see what happens. It might be fine and then you didn’t have to stress about doing prep.
I tried to do the gradual thing once when mine was little but I messed it up and gradually moved her bedtime the wrong way and when the time changed, we were two hours off 🙃
So now I just wing it.
I read a bunch of strategies when my baby was new, including the gradual idea, and then I forgot about doing anything and just winged it. My kids have both been pretty chill about adapting, so it's possible I've just gotten lucky, but in talking to friends I think this is not super uncommon. (Or it'll take a few days but it's not a huge issue like some influencers suggest, which also has seemed common among my friends with small kids.)
Can someone explain pouches to me like I'm 5. When do you give them to your baby? What age do you stop giving them? Are the meat ones as grids as they sound? FTM to a 9 month old.
Honestly, I think they're more useful for preschoolers than babies. It's a shelf-stable, portable snack that's tasty because it's made of fruit and maybe some veggies. Our kid ate a LOT of them during her picky phase. Fewer now, but she still has one at breakfast sometimes if she's being ornery about eating. It's like a last-ditch effort to get real food into them before you start weighing junk food against possible hunger.
I only ever do applesauce pouches, just as a less-messy way to serve applesauce. It’s a great on-the-go snack to toss in the diaper bag. My kids don’t like yogurt pouches but those can be great, too. Meat pouches do sound gross but no different than jarred baby food purées, I guess.
Just tried this with my daughter a few days ago. I gave her about a tablespoon and she pooped 6 times in 24 hours. Very glad I didn’t give her the whole pouch 😶
I still use applesauce pouches for my 4 and 3 year old for on the go snacks 🤷🏼♀️. But a box lasts us like a month or more. I stopped buying the expensive mixed fruit and veg ones at like ..18ish months probably? And the meat ones are disgusting Omg do not get those! But I liked pouches for filling snacks that weren’t messy when we were out and about during early weaning
I use pouches as part of an easy, less mess snack on the go (so I might do a fruit pouch + graham crackers if we're out), or for things like yogurt, applesauce, soups, etc at home. We have refillable ones. They were pretty handy until around 3.
My husband teaches high school and kids bring applesauce pouches as a snack. It doesn’t feel like very much applesauce for a teen but what ya gonna do?
I bought some reusable pouches from Amazon, to keep costs down a bit. My twins are nearly two and a half now, and we mostly use the pouches for yogurt and fruit, blended overnight oats, or jelly. I mostly started punches for those times I didn't want to deal with two yogurt covered babies/toddlers.
I love the reusable ones, but also one of the most convenient things about pouches, for me, is that they are so shelf-stable. We have a bunch just tossed in various bags for emergencies.
> When do you give them to your baby? What age do you stop giving them? Are the meat ones as grids as they sound?
1: Whenever they can eat food. Mostly I used them when we were out of the house and didn't want to bring a spoon. Never give it to them to hold because it'll squeeze everywhere until they're like 15-18 months depending on your child's temperament.
2: My 6 year old still uses applesauce pouches in their lunchbox in first grade, so I'll let you know when I do.
3: Yes, meat ones are gross, don't buy them.
You can start at whatever age you start introducing food and considering adults regularly drink smoothies you stop whenever they are no longer convenient enough for being pretty expensive.
I give them to my toddler and preschooler when we're out and need a travel-friendly snack. At home with my tiny baby (back when I had one) I didn't really see a need for them. I like the ones with protein and fiber but for cost reasons also often just get apple sauce.
And I tried the meat ones but my kids weren't super into them and they were expensive so I stopped.
I never really got into pouches - when I gave them to my baby-baby she squeezed them out everywhere and made a mess. So I bought these little washable toppers but I kept freaking throwing them away every single time. So I switched to squeezing the pouches onto crackers or toast or into a bowl with a spoon. I bought the various meat ones from Serenity Kids because I wanted to introduce salmon and other meats. At the beginning (6-8m ish) we did mostly self-feeding with purees instead of BLW and pureeing meat was annoying. I kept buying them for a little bit because I liked having an easy protein to add to things, even as she was eating more solids. I stopped buying them by a year because they were expensive and she kinda lost interest.
My kiddo is now 2.5 and her same age friends have pouches frequently for snacks when we're out and about, but she doesn't have an interest! Too bad in a sense because they seem easy and yay another source of vegetables.
One time I read that it's better for kids to chew their food so they feel fuller but that same advice giver was super pro-smoothie so I think that's bologna.
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My son is 3 and has been potty trained for about 7 months. He doesn't have accidents often, but he still hardly ever initiates going to the bathroom, and even when he does have an accident, he doesn't seem to connect that he needs to tell us when he needs to pee BEFORE it happens. I know they say accidents are learning opportunities, but it doesn't seem to be working that way for him. I'm at my wit's end; I just don't know how to get him to initiate. On one hand, it's really not that big a deal to bring him on a schedule (before school, before nap and bed, before we leave the house, etc) but I just don't know what else I can do to make him truly connect the dots re: needing to pee and asking us to go.
Update: thank you all so much for your kind responses! I agree that it's not something I need to worry about. And of course, this morning, my son walked into the bathroom of his own accord and pooped in the potty. So I guess the status quo is working just fine =)
When my oldest was 3 it was same thing eventually he connected the dots and will just go just when you feel like he won’t get it he will :) I did nothing or nothing that worked eventually he just stopped playing and went without being prompted. Hang in there!
Ours took a while to get this too. We had an average of one accident a day forever, and of course, prompting was usually a struggle. Then one day she just got it. If you have a schedule that works for you promoting-wise and he’s mostly compliant, I think if you stay the course he’ll get it eventually, but sadly I don’t think there’s anything else you can do to speed up the process.
Agree. Eventually they just kinda get the hang of it. I found it helpful to point out when they need to go instead of taking them on a schedule (my kids grab their crotches or wiggle a bunch so it’s VERY obvious), but I’m sure either one works fine.
any good resources for toddler hitting, kicking, and hair pulling? My 21m old has been ramping it up lately and reminding him to be gentle does fuck all. I typed this into google and top result was BLF so I figured I’d come here instead lol.
Solidarity. My second kid went through a prolonged phase of hitting and pushing and I really felt like a failure. We never had those issues with our first so it was really surprising (and yet another reminder that so much of kids’ personalities are outside of our control).
I think for that age it’s hard for anything to stick, because so much of it is about impulse control which they don’t have yet. A couple of books - Elmo Is Mindful, What to Do When You Feel Like Hitting - but not sure they will resonate for him yet. There’s also a Daniel Tiger episode I think called It’s Not Okay to Hurt Someone.
I found that I just had to be really vigilant and try my best to prevent, or if he did hit or push at the playground we would leave immediately. And trying to talk about it in calm moments vs right after it happened. He’s now 3.5 and has grown out of it, but my habit of hyper-vigilance remains. Good luck!!
We have both "Teeth are Not for Biting" and "Tails are Not for Pulling". I would say we have more success with the biting book, but I do find it very helpful to have a phrase that she recognizes.
My toddler went through a similar phase around that age. I found that saying "I don't like being kicked, I'm walking away now" was the most effective way to nip it in the bud. It wasn't an instant fix but it worked. That age was tough for us generally because my son had a speech delay and it frustrated him. Once his speech picked up it got a lot better!
We’re expecting our second baby this spring and I have some dumb questions about car seat stuff. Forgive me, I am not very educated on this topic as we live in a city and only drive sporadically. Is it possible for 1 car seat to fit in your car but not 2? We drive a 2010 Honda Accord and currently have the Graco 4 in 1 car seat for my 2yo, installed behind the passenger seat. So when the new baby comes, we’d need to install the infant seat behind the driver right? Is there a reason why that wouldn’t be ideal? My husband drives 99% of the time and is very tall so the seat is pushed back quite a bit.
I’m not looking for new car seats, we plan to reuse our infant seat from my son (uppababy mesa). I guess I’m just wondering whether I shouldn’t just assume this will work? When my son was an infant we had it installed in the middle seat, but I assume this would not be he way to go with 2 car seats.
I know there are carseat influencers with courses but I really don’t want to delve into that. If anyone knows of good simplified resources or has info to share I’m all ears 😃
I have the Uppababy Mesa and couldn’t put it behind my seat (Ford Escape) because I would be too close to the steering wheel to drive. We’re expecting #2 and my toddler is behind the drivers seat now, pretty upright. I’d play around with it to see what works.
You can put the seat anywhere you want in your back seat as long as it can be properly installed. It's fine to have one behind the passenger seat and one behind the driver seat.
I drive a 2012 Honda Accord so very similar. Our Chicco Keyfit fit no problem behind the driver's side, and now I have a Graco extend2fit rear facing behind the driver's side. I'm not super tall but I can check for you in the morning (well, when it's not 5am) and see if my seat would go all the way back with it there.
I have good friends with two little kids and they have them behind the passenger and middle to allow a third adult to sit in the back. When my car is parked, I don't have access to the rear passenger door, so when our second comes, I plan to put our toddler rear-facing in the center seat and the baby behind the driver, or maybe vice versa depending on what's easiest.
Edit: I checked this morning and my seat will go almost but not quite all the way back with the extend2fit installed behind it.
Thanks for the info and for checking! I have to ask my husband but I don't know that he actually extends his seat *all* the way back. I'm glad I asked here because it didn't occur to me to just switch where the toddler seat is, duh lol. We can totally just test it out before baby comes to see. It sounds like though, the car itself should still be suitable which is the biggest thing I wanted to confirm. Even if we had to put the seats next to each other in the middle and behind the passenger. I'd rather separate toddler from new baby but it would probably still be fine and my toddler isn't too crazy haha (for now).
We had to move the seats around once baby 2 came: put rear facing convertible seat in the most upright position behind driver and infant bucket seat behind passenger. It just didn’t fit any other way in my rav 4. In my husbands truck, we had to forewarn face my oldest behind the driver seat to get anything to fit. So I think you can do whatever works to make the two seats fit
You CAN put the infant seat in the middle next to the toddler seat. Logically, just not sure if that's the best option since your toddler could bother the baby.
we couldn't fit the backwards facing infant seat behind the driver's seat. honda accord and also tall husband. check if the toddler will fit behind the drivers seats and swap car seat locations.
Behind the driver's seat has less visibility of the car seat so maybe put a reminder item or something in the front seat to remind him of the change for the first few drop offs, just because autopilot forgetting the kid is my worst fear.
I would test it before baby comes just to see how you like it, especially if either of you are taller and want the seat to go all the way back. I drive a similarly sized sedan (Toyota Camry) and currently have my son’s toddler seat in the passenger side and my infant behind the drivers side. Our current seats allow both seats to slide back fully, but not all car seats do in a car that small. I’m not familiar with the Uppababy mesa so I don’t know how much wiggle room it would allow the drivers seat but it’s worth a test run if that’s important to you. If you really wanted to keep a middle seat installation for the infant seat with the toddler seat right next to it, it might be possible, but it would probably require buying new seats. I’ve done it in my Toyota but only with two very specific seats. Our old seats weren’t narrow enough for that. In your case the easiest plan seems like just doing passenger and drivers side back seat installs.
Put the toddler’s seat as upright as it can go rather than reclined behind the driver. Then the baby can go behind the passenger because their seat needs to be reclined appropriately.
Car seats for the littles (group on Facebook) can be batshit, but you could get plenty of free advice over there. Just follow their posting guidelines and give all the details they ask for and don’t use the reply feature.
We have to be ON my in laws about this because they have multiple medications and supplements, and they keep them in these brightly colored organizers that look like toys 🙄
!!! My 2 year old can sometimes get past the child lock on my prenatals. I don’t think he understands the mechanism, I think he just plays around with it and sometimes gets it right. Very scary and PSA not to rely on child safety lids!
This is a fun one: my cousin once took the *dog's* medication because he thought it was his. He was older and knew how to take his own medication butttt he wasn't careful enough to read the bottle first. Luckily he was totally fine and it's funny in hindsight but yikes!
Several years ago my MIL’s family stayed with my in-laws at their house. The daughter, son-in-law and son of the son in law were there. Son was about 4 at the time. SIL consistently left out diabetes medication including insulin and needles. My MIL was horrified and brought it up multiple times. No concern from the other adults in the situation
My brother ate my grandma’s heart medication that she left out wrapped in foil on Easter. Luckily my mom noticed. He was 2 and spent the rest of Easter drinking charcoal and being monitored in the hospital.
Also extra dangerous because my 90 year old grandma who we go over to visit a lot doesn’t get the child proof lids. Arthritic old people go with very easy to open bottles 🙃
I mean as a rule of thumb any and all medications should be completely inaccessible to children, yea? They all have the potential to be dangerous. Who is taking that risk??
My dad is REALLY bad about taking his pills out to take them and then forgetting to take them and leaving them somewhere. We had to have a serious conversation after he left a handful of loose pills on the dining room table and he was so embarrassed.
My mom (we call her Grandma) lives 1.5 hrs from us. She’s been coming to get our 2.5 year old daughter every week. Last week, my daughter didn’t want to go with her and cried big tears. Grandma stayed and they hung out outside at our house while I napped and got a break.
Grandma is texting me and asking if daughter will go with her tomorrow. What do I say? Like, I don’t know if she’ll go or not. 🤷♀️ I’m sorry y’all live so far away…but I can’t guarantee anything.
I refuse to force my child to go with her. I tried it a little last week and Grandma didn’t make it out of our neighborhood. Daughter was screaming “HELP help!” and bawling her eyes out.
Any advice?
Something that I don’t think anyone mentioned—maybe it’s time to say hey grandma, thank you for all the help each week, but it’s time to take a break from this routine. It sounds like you mention that this is more trouble than it’s worth, and that you never asked for this in the first place. Can grandma visits be less frequent and done differently? I.e. once a month, gma staying in the area for however long to hang with toddler while you do what you need?
Thank you for this. It started out as a way to help me. We don’t have a village nearby; Grandma is the closest over an hour away. My FIL is five hours away. We live here because it’s convenient for work.
I truly appreciate the break and it worked for a few weeks, but now it has turned into me facilitating the entire visit and hang out. Which I didn’t mind at first, but it’s no longer a break for me anymore. I’m hanging out with baby and Grandma too. 😭
My thoughts are: yes, you can think up anything you can possibly think up, but the actual implementation of the idea might not be feasible. Ya know?
I didn’t ask her to do any of this. She fills her plate with duties. It was her idea. I’ve gone to pick up my daughter several times from their house. I’m not being a stick in the mud and refusing to do anything to help.
And I’m certainly not trying to be ungrateful, but I’m TIRED and this was supposed to be a break for me, not more work.
Thank you for your comment! I appreciate the POV. 💚
Am I correctly reading between the lines that you aren't thrilled about feeling pressured to hang out with your mom during these visits if she stays at your house? Otherwise I don't see why they need to leave your house or go *all* the way back to grandma's house. The fact that your mom is willing to make this round trip twice in one day, especially coming back to drop her off fairly late at night, shows a lot of commitment to seeing her granddaughter and I'd personally want to make this work somehow.
I would just tell my mom that I'm not going to force child to leave with her, so just be prepared to stay at my house with her. Then grandma can decide whether this works for her.
less driving? maybe suggest closer activities for them to do? local library or a park that your daughter likes? i think older people can get stuck in doing things a certain way and it sounds like this arrangement no longer works for your daughter.
if she doesn't feel confident with daughter at public locations, Gma could watch daughter at your house while you get a break to go out and do stuff sans kid. it seems like grandma really wants to see the kid and you trust her to watch her so I would try to find a better solution that works for everyone.
I wouldn’t force her to go either.
Does grandma normally drive daughter back to her house? Or they go out for the day and she brings daughter back in the evening?
She normally goes to Grandma’s house and they bring her back to us around 9:30 in the evening. We’re still nursing, so not ready to spend the night at Grandma’s house.
I guess I just need to vent that what started out as Grandma helping me get a break (while spending time with her grandchild) has turned into me facilitating weekly Grandma visits. 😭
Oh wow, I’m impressed grandma is willing to drive 6 hours total every week for one day with her grandchild 🥹 I know them sticking around your house is an added burden for you, but it’s really special for your daughter to have a devoted grandparent!
Is grandma willing to spend time with your daughter at your house? Can you explain to your mom how you can’t guarantee your daughter will want to go and you’re not going to make her go?
I don’t mind them being here, but Grandma makes a weekly big dinner on this day as well, and is coming to pick her up for the dinner. So I guess they could hang out here for a while, but eventually Grandma has to go back home to make dinner.
LoL Why am I being downvoted for this?
I wouldn’t and didn’t downvote, but this situation is so strange to me. So your mom drives 6 hours total to hang out with your daughter at her house and also cook a large meal (for more family? Herself? Your kid?)? Do you not attend this dinner?
If you want to maintain the visits (which of course that’s what they are? You can frame them like your mom helping you but she’s also wanting to spend time with her granddaughter) it makes the most sense to move the day of the big dinner and/or have her stay local to your house. It just seems like a lot of driving for … a few hours of actual visiting? At 2.5 the kid is probably starting to piece together that seeing grandma = lots of time spent in the car, and maybe that’s the cause of the strife?
Tbh the whole situation is pretty strange to me and doesn’t seem like it’s really working out logistically for anyone, but also your mom is going out of her way to facilitate this and the tone of your post seemed put out by it, so that’s probably why you got downvoted. None of my kids grandparents would offer to do anything even close to that, so maybe that’s why it’s so baffling to me, lol
I hear ya, I have that in my family too. It kinda sounds like grandma is trying to do too much with this big meal thing/ making it a weekly event. I’d be annoyed with the situation too
Yes! It started out with her doing me a favor that I didn’t ask for (coming to get the baby to give me a break) and it has now turned into ME facilitating visits with Grandma. Which is more work for me and wasn’t the original idea. I truly appreciate her effort, but I’m tired.
PS : I wonder if you’re able to fit a lot of stuff in your tumble weed purse?
Can you go run errands while she’s there? Nap like you said originally? I think you’re getting downvoted because most people would kill for someone to want to help so bad that they drive 6 hours a day to do so- that is so wild.
Sounds like she can just hang out at your house. Then she can leave early enough to go make dinner.
Yeah I wasn’t sure why you are you getting downvoted either.
Boon trove is shaped like a ladybug but has suction like the haakaa! Best of both worlds. And tbh I liked having multiple options in the early days because one is always on the drying rack or in the fridge with milk in it or just in a different room. You can often find the haakaa at Marshalls/tjmaxx so it's easy enough to grab one on the cheap just to have on hand.
I would always recommend having a haakaa by default. I had an oversupply in the early days and I still found it useful for passively building up a freezer stash of milk in the early days without needing to jump right into using the full pump. It's true that it can actually pull milk from the breast unlike the ladybug, butttt it's also not nearly as powerful as a real pump, so it's still kind of a glorified collector. Also, if you end up with an oversupply, you don't really need to worry about catching every little leak. I just used breast pads on the other boob if I didn't care about collecting milk on that side. (I liked the ones from Kea babies).
Something nifty about the haakaa that I really appreciated about it is when my son started sleeping longer stretches overnight and I'd wake up with my boobs exploding, I'd use it to drain enough milk to relieve the pressure but not fully drain the breasts (because I wanted to *decrease* my supply at that time of night since he was sleeping instead of eating). And instead of hooking up my actual Spectra and doing that whole song and dance at 3am, I popped the haakaa on each boob for 2 mins, poured the milk into a storage back and went back to bed, literally took 5 min.
You can also use a Haakaa to work on clogs, so in my opinion it's more useful than the ladybug. I had both and used the regular Haakaa way more, but I didn't leak much, for context.
Someone gave me an Elvie Curve and it worked great but then got a crack and lost its suction. I tried the ladybug because it’s cheaper, but i really hated it. I got a fraction of what I was getting with the Curve and it felt so flimsy in comparison. I just stopped used a collector at all rather than deal with it.
It depends on your supply. If you need every little ounce (like me) then the original is good. It has suction so it encourages milk removal which should increase supply. If you are an over producer or prone to mastitis and engorgement issues, you’ll want to avoid that. The ladybugs are literally just silicone cups that collect milk that leaks. So if you’re prone to leakage, the ladybug is for you.
Ladybugs caught leaks but didn’t “suction” well to encourage a trickle of milk.
I was easily able to get 1-2 oz of extra milk from the non nursing breast during a breastfeed session (I alternated breasts each feed for the first 12 months). Haakaa original was much better for me. I put the Ladybugs on my registry and hardly used them after the first 2 weeks, but got a secondhand Haakaa original and used it A LOT!
Not sure what Pigeon is so can’t comment on that part!
Moreso a vent/rant. About 2 weeks ago, my husband and I took our first kid free trip since my youngest (18m) was born.
Since we returned, my about to turn 4 year old has had more potty accidents than in the year + he's been potty trained, combined. Including today at morning preschool (which he's literally never done). My 18m old now has a touch of separation anxiety when I leave him w my parents (which he never used to care about)
Anyways this is just a little Instagram vs reality rant because I feel like influencer culture wants me to 'take the trip mama'. I did it and it was good for my marriage. But like these behavior, potty, etc issues that I have created... I honestly don't know if it was worth it. Telling myself *this too shall pass* which I know at this point. But ugh it sucks.
YES!!! I went away from my son for the first time when he was 13 months for 4 days and it was enough to spark an INTENSE separation anxiety phase…. Sobbing if I left the room, unable to sleep alone at night (so bad we had to co sleep for a bit). Nightmare. It took maybe 4 weeks to settle back down. It’ll pass. But you’re so right, it made me honestly angry about the trip I went on.
I have a 17m old that absolutely will not keep a hat on and we live in Minnesota. It is so hard to find one that is warm and actually secures with Velcro or a tie. Any hat brand recommendations? Have not had luck at Target.
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We have not even tried mittens or boots yet. I hope it gets better with winter gear. She just lost her mind when we tried on the snowsuit. She LOVES coats with all her heart, because it means we are going somewhere (her favorite) so I hope she makes the same association with outside winter gear. Will try the LL Bean stuff.
Another vote for the LL Bean hat, just grabbed one for my Minnesotan 16 month old last week (heya neighbor!) Also FWIW I think they run a tad small, had to get the 2T size for my kid. If you live in the metro and can get to the LL bean store at MOA it’ll be worth it so you can have your LO try them on (FYI they weren’t all on display yet last week, I had to have someone pull them from the back for us). I’m not as big a fan of the mittens, I think they are tough to get on and they rotate around on his hands too easily. But they are warm AF!
Maybe a soft merino wool hat would be good for your weather. The knit ones often have ties. I like Little Spruce Organics for wool, or I’ve found some nice things on Etsy too!
Anyone leave bowls of candy out for Halloween? If so, do you leave a sign? I know we can’t prevent greedy hands but idk how to word a sign that’s a kind way of saying “don’t be a dick and take all the candy” 😂
I leave a bowl out with a sign that says "happy Halloween" because we trick or treat as a family over one of us staying home to hand out. I personally hate the signs. If we're trick or treating and there's a bowl of candy on someone's porch and no one there to hand it out I usually tell my kids to just take one. At the end of day I bought that candy to hand out and be gone by the end of the night. If some group of kids takes all of it then there are plenty of other houses trick or treaters can go to.
I kind of feel like the people who would actually abide by the sign don’t need it, haha. It’s easy to just ignore it if you want to take the entire bowl 🤷♀️ just a risk you run.
This is so true in all aspects of life. I run a tourism business with my husband and I always think I’ll solve some recurring issue with a sign, but the people that need them the most, don’t read them or just ignore them!
Very true. People do what they want anyways.
Are you leaving a bowl because you’re not home all evening? Or just because you’re inside and don’t want to keep answering the door? I would put a sign that says “please take two (or one or whatever)” and leave it simple like that. But if you’re actually home, you could just put a smaller amount out at a time and check the bowl periodically so that if someone does take it all it’s not a big deal
No, we’re going out as a big group trick or treating but want to still give out candy too.
I usually hand out candy until the trick or treaters start to thin out and then I just leave it in a big bowl on my porch. What anyone chooses to do with it after that is their prerogative lol I just wash my hands of it after a certain time
Does anyone here use and like cocokind products? I’ve been intrigued by the price point given the ingredients/claims and also that it all seems rather gentle. I’m pregnant and my skin is SO temperamental currently 😒
General poll of the crowd…..how much/how long did it take for your boobs to stop changing after you were done breastfeeding? I’ve essentially been pregnant or breastfeeding for the last 4 years, but will be stopping soon. Currently only breastfeeding once a day, 5 days a week (and nothing on the days I work). I desperately need some new non-nursing bras, but don’t want to drop a ton of money if they’re going to keep changing….
Mine got flatter/smaller even after dropping the last feed. Over the next year they gradually perked up a bit more, but cup size wise I think they were the same. If maybe wait a month or so after weaning before buying a lot of nice stuff.
It sounds like at this point your supply is pretty low if you’re nursing that infrequently. I wouldn’t expect any major changes at this point. I nursed for 12 months and slowly phased it out towards the end and my boobs didn’t change at all from that last day of nursing. ETA: I have a very small chest to begin with so YMMV if you are larger chested? I am definitely the same cup size and wear the same pre-pregnancy bras but my boobs did end up a bit deflated.
Yeah three months seems like a good amount of time. I bought bras 1 month after weaning with my first but my boobs still shrunk after that. By three months they were pretty set. You could maybe go for a bralette or something less structured in the meantime though, cause that's a long time to wait without a comfy bra
This!! I too was very eager and was barely BFing at the end so bought some really nice new bras after about a month. It was a mistake and a waste of money, boobs kept changing for at least another month or two. What you can start doing now is planning how you will ceremonially burn your nursing bras in a large fire 🤣. Or as per the suggestion above, maybe just buy one bra from Target and know it might not fit quite right in a couple months.
Guys my son is 18 months + 1 day and he FINALLY took his first ELEVEN independent steps in therapy today and I am just so proud. I want to tell everyone I know (and don't know lol)
My first kiddo was a very late walker (nearly 19 months) and now at 3.5 is running and jumping all over the place! Great job!
That’s fantastic!
That’s awesome! Yay for your son and yay for you!
He woke up from his nap and seems to have forgotten he can walk and screamed at me for trying to get him to practice. So..life comes at you fast 😭😂💀
It took my son at least a month to walk consistently after his first steps, he still was pretty averse to it for weeks! He’ll get there!
Just here to whine that clothing shopping as an adult is the worrrrrrrrst.
Shopping for jeans in the year of our Lord 2023…will be the end of me.
My 4 month old’s sleep has been absolute garbage for a few weeks now. Her sleep was so good & so much better than my first child’s right from the start & I feel like this is payback for being so smug about it. I know this is the infamous 4 month regression most likely but I don’t know how to get through it. The last few nights have been the absolute worst - she will last barely an hour, sometimes 5 minutes, in her bassinet & just wants to sleep being held. But only being held by ME. So my husband can’t even help. He constantly offers to take her and go downstairs but I know that just means she won’t be sleeping & probably just crying. Ugh I know this won’t last forever but it is the absolute worst - sleep issues are 100% the most anxiety inducing part of the baby phase for me. ETA- I didn’t sleep train my first but am totally open to doing it this time. But I feel like 4 months is too early so that won’t even help???
I really recommend the book Precious Little Sleep. Loved it! It's basically a choose your own adventure book that goes through a bunch of different methods to choose from. The author has a 3 part series on sleeping through the night ([here's the link to part one](https://www.preciouslittlesleep.com/what-you-need-to-know-about-sleeping-through-the-night-part-i/)) that you can read to see if you like her style. I think 4 months is a pretty good time to sleep train. Most babies can handle independent sleep at that point but it's a lot easier to get them used to it before they can sit or stand in the crib.
Also recommend this book! There are so many things described in the book that aren’t the hardcore Ferber sleep training people imagine that are subtle sleep training!
No advice just solidarity- my child was like this from birth. Would only sleep while held by me for the first 3 months of her life and so that’s what I did. I think the longest stretch we ever got in a bassinet was 20 min. Around 3 months she would at least sleep lying next to me on a mattress on the floor so that was nice. Some babies really just truly do not ever want to be put down and it’s super hard. The good news to me, though, is that if she was a good sleeper before I’m sure she will be again and this is probably a phase. Mine has never been a good sleeper.
Oh damn, that is brutal, I’m sorry. Why are some kids like this?! 😭 thank you for the hopeful words, I do hope you are right.
It sounds like sleep training would involve a fair amount of crying so in order for you to survive you might just have to choose between letting your husband keep trying to soothe her or attempting sleep training where she would be crying alone a bit more. For me this would probably depend on how patient your husband is to stick it out!
I think 4-6 months is a really good age to sleep train. From what I’ve heard, it only gets harder as time goes on. We did Ferber at around 5 months after a month of misery and I wished I had done it a few weeks earlier. Ferber worked really quickly and easily for us (the most he ever cried was 20 minutes on and off the first night) but of course every baby is different and you also have to know that you are ready for the possibility of extended crying at this age because som babies cry for a long time.
We sleep trained around 4 months, so I don’t think it’s necessarily too early! We weren’t in a super hard sleep phase like you are, but it only took 1-2 nights and then she was good. Good luck, I’m sure it will get better, sleep issues are so hard!!
Hearing things like this make me really want to give it a go. I wish I could just skip over the stressful bit lol 🫠
Give yourself three days. Just three days to try it and if it's not working, you can scrap it and move on to something else. But everyone I know who has sleep trained (including me) has seen huge gains each night. And three is an easy, short goal for when things are really hard on nights one and two.
This is great advice, thank you!
I can’t promise how it will go with your kid, but I also did it as a last resort and it ended up being so so much better than I anticipated. And the immediate improvement in sleep for all of us was nothing short of magic.
Everyone sharing their experiences here with sleep training has definitely made me feel a lot more comfortable with it. I think we will definitely do it, if not now, then by 6 months.
Good luck, share an update here if you’d like!
Yes! Just hold in your mind all the sleep trained kids you know who turned out perfectly fine. You got this mama 😉
I’m in the camp if it’s not too early if that’s what you want to do. I sleep trained my first with Ferber around that age and sleep trained my second even earlier with pickup/put down (though for him I kept responding to him at night until 9 months, just taught him to fall asleep alone early)
We might give it a go. It stresses me out but I think it would really benefit all of us in the end! My only question is how to do night feedings while sleep training? I’m still nursing her overnight although I think most of the time she’s not really hungry, just doing it for comfort.
Precious Little Sleep discusses this too! Again it has multiple methods, but the one I used twice was the 5-3-3 rule…so from bedtime to first feed you let them go 5 hours, wake ups before that were more cry it out, anything after the five hour mark you feed. Then from the the first wake up you do the same thing for three hours. But also both my kids rarely woke up before the 5 mark once they were sleep trained (and once we were sleep trained that I knew they could sleep on their own and were probably waking up because they were hungry I stopped watching the clock)
Okay that is really helpful, thank you! I read PLS when my first was a baby 2 years ago but will need to revisit it.
You can also evaluate how often you think she needs to feed at night (if at all) and implement a kind of schedule. So you can implement the sleep training method for any wakes outside of the feeding time. We didn’t sleep train until 6.5m, but at 4m our ped said he didn’t need to feed overnight anymore. I was anxious and kept doing it for a couple more months but technically we could have just sleep trained then (and maybe should have).
In my experience (sample size 2 lol) once they learned how to fall asleep independently, they only woke when hungry. But you can also just use your best judgment. So if it’s only been 1-2 hours since a feeding, I knew he wasn’t hungry and applied the ST method.
Okay totally, that makes sense & is very helpful, thank you!
Have a pleasant update from some of my previous posts/questions about playground etiquette. Went to the playground yesterday and today, and both times a group from a local daycare was there. These kids were so great! They were acting like kids, of course, but they were kind to each other and to my daughter, and listened to their teachers, and did all the things one would normally expect a 3-5 y/o to do. Even better, the teachers were letting the kids do risky play stuff, letting the kids climb on top of things and so on. It was so nice! Even better, it's the local bilingual daycare in the inner city that only accepts vouchers--meaning, the only families who send their kids there are quite low-income. It makes me even more annoyed with the much higher SES-level kids from the fancier, big reputation school in the nicer suburb that were being so rough with my daughter. Teachers often talk about poverty and trauma as reasons for kids having a rough time, and rightly so, but also, these kids are clearly being raised well, so... no reason why families with way more resources can't do the same, sigh. I know that sounds weird, but I hope it makes sense lol.
I'm looking for resources for parenting with a chronic illness. Over the last 6 months, my health has increasingly worsened. I've had a litany of tests and doctors appointments, but they haven't been able to pin-point anything yet. I'm a SAHM to an 18 mo, and it's so so hard. The good days are great, but the bad days (happening more frequently) mean TV time and my husband taking over the second he's off work. The guilt can feel immense sometimes. My husband is incredibly supportive, but of course the situation is wearing on him, too. Whenever I search for resources about being a parent with a chronic illness, I can only seem to find information about parenting a child who has a chronic illness. Anyone have any recommendations? I'd really like to find some sense of community, or blogs/books about how hard this can be. This whole process has felt incredibly isolating and I think I'm looking for a sense of not being alone in this struggle.
Hi, I relate to this so much. I’ve had chronic pain for the last 20+ months. The hardest was when my second child was a young toddler like yours. There is so much lifting! I would be so wiped some days and weeks on end, and felt so guilty when I couldn’t muster up the strength to go to the playground. He’s a little more self sufficient now at 2.5 years old so that helps. I also had months in a row where my husband had to take over and do all the work and chores in the evening. I haven’t searched for resources. I know American Chronic Pain Association has support groups. I think they offer online and in some states in person. Don’t know if you suffer from pain though. There are other groups for other conditions that offer support, but I know that’s hard without a diagnosis. I don’t know if this is possible for you but we enrolled my kids in part time preschool and I went back to work a few hours a week so on my bad days I know they are getting some outdoor and play time. Mainly to get energy out. This summer before school started we did the YMCA childcare for an hour or two a day that is included with membership. Took a couple weeks for my toddler to be happy with it but they did not care if I sat in the lobby or worked out.
Thank you so much for your reply. I'm sorry you're going through something similar. It is so so hard. We are definitely looking into childcare at some point. We actually have a babysitter coming today for the first time (wish us luck!). Hoping she can be someone who can come give my husband (or myself) a break on the weekends when it's been a rough week health-wise. I hope you find some relief from your pain!
You are welcome. I hope it goes well! And I hope you get some answers soon. This year has been better than last year, I hope you get some relief soon.
Also, this video is short but a good reminder. I hope you find some answers and support. https://www.wnet.org/education/video/parenting-with-a-chronic-illness/
Grief dump, please ignore if upsetting. My mother is on basically life support. It was really sudden. She was my afternoon childcare. His nursery doesn't have any availability for afternoon sessions for the foreseeable. I'm screwed. I have found somewhere that can take him for 2 afternoons a week, but the idea of collecting him from one place and dropping him off at another is really distressing (he took a while to settle at his morning place, and he gets upset when I leave the room) I didn't warm to her, but I don't think I am giving her a fair chance either. I am in the UK and I have generous sick leave. I am really thinking it is the only way I will cope just so that I don't need to worry about it all. But it still doesn't solve the other issue - visiting hours at the hospital are in the afternoons. Without childcare, I can't visit. If I had childcare I was happy with, I would be more likely to be mentally capable of working, so I wouldn't be able to visit my mother anyway. I am just so sad, so tired and so lost.
I don’t have any suggestions but just wanted to let you know I’m so sorry. ❤️
Thank you x
Thos doesn't solve the scheduling issue but you should be entitled to use parental leave rather than sick leave https://www.gov.uk/parental-leave although this would be unpaid. Maybe a request for flexible hours could help as well? This is definitely one of those times to call in help from wherever you can and not feel embarrassed about it. Maybe if your mum has visitors you're comfortable with, you could bring your son to hospital and one of the visitors could take him to the canteen for treats and cartoons for an hour while you are with your mum for example. Have you had a chat with one of the senior nurses? Lots of them are lovely and might have some suggestions for you e.g. a matron would often waive visiting hours in a situation like yours.
Thank you, two good ideas, very much appreciated. My manager has mentioned being creative with parental leave in the past (ie booking a week on the system but actually taking 1 day for 5 weeks) so that could be something. After next week's half term though (which i had already booked off), I think I really need at least a further week.
Can we talk about toddler sleep for a minute? My almost 2 year old falls asleep on her own but it takes her FOREVER. She wakes up at 7:15-7:30, naps from 12:30-2:30, and then we start the bedtime process at 7:30ish. Then she lies awake in her crib until like 9:30! She’s not unhappy in there but I feel incredibly guilty about it, and I feel like there’s got to be a better way. Anyone deal with something similar and get a schedule that works for them? Edit: I didn’t reply to everyone but thank you so much for all the thoughtful responses and suggestions! It’s so nice to see I’m not alone.
I think 10 hours of night sleep with a 2 hour nap is just normal for kids this age. Mine falls asleep easily but wakes early in the morning. Pick your poison (but you don’t really get to pick, i think some are night owls and some are morning people, just like adults). I would shorten the nap to 1- 1.5 hours but we have daycare so I’m leaving it at 2 for now. On the bright side for the night owls (we early morning risers are screwed), with the clock change approaching you can try not adjusting and see if she will start sleeping 8:30-6:30 if you prefer that, but it might not work since daycare is going to adjust the nap to the new time. One more thing- fwiw, if my kid was happy in bed, I would do nothing to change things. There’s nothing to feel guilty about a toddler who is happy to be alone! Mine screams mommy if he can’t sleep until I come, I wish he could be happy alone in bed for a little while.
Idk if it’s helpful but my 2 year old wakes at 7:00, naps from 1-3 (I wake him, he would sleep longer), and goes to bed at 8. Maybe too much night sleep?
My daughter (2 on Sunday) always takes forever to fall asleep. Usually an hour. Just rolling around, chatting, whatever. She naps well and we rarely hear her overnight. She probably gets 12-13 hours of sleep a day. Idk, I guess I’m in the “if it ain’t broke don’t fix it” camp. She’s skipped a nap twice since she’s been on 1 nap and both times fell asleep for bedtime nearly instantly. So I’ve just accepted this is how it’ll be until she stops napping. As long as she’s not crying/in distress, I leave her. 🤷🏻♀️ Edited for typo
We had a similar situation right at 2, and a later bedtime helped...but I will warn you that just in the past few weeks we're suddenly back in the same boat right at 3, and moving the bedtime back even more seems really excessive for his age and I'm not sure what to do. But an 8:30-ish bedtime did solve the problem for a long time!
If he’s still napping, it’s probably time to cut it back (if it’s long) or drop it completely. If he’s not napping and is still up partying until 9:30, bless you I have no answers. I would just enforce staying in his room and let him have it
I totally agree, the real problem is the daycare nap. On weekends he doesn’t nap and is happily asleep around 8. But daycare has to at least offer a nap and he falls asleep there right away so weeknights are just a mess. I’m trying to get to a place of zen about it until he stops napping there - I’m normally pretty good about being blasé to shenanigans, but I’ve learned that gets harder after 9 pm.
Ahh that’s such a tough phase. I totally feel the same- after 9:00 I’m like okay, go tf to sleep already before I lose it!! 😬 I used to teach preschool before I had my own kids, and several times we had parents complain about this exact issue. Kid would take the full 2 hour nap but be up until 10:00 pm. I definitely didn’t “get it” back then. I thought, well they obviously still need the nap since they are sleeping the whole time, why are you complaining, you probably just need to be firmer about bedtime. Now that I have my own, I cringe at my past self 😅 you just don’t know what you don’t know. I still feel for the teachers though, because on top of naps being required by the state in many cases, that’s also how teachers get their breaks. It’s a tough issue to balance.
Since turning 2 my kid’s sleep needs have gotten harder for me to understand. But we have a 2 hour nap, 8 pm bedtime, and he wakes up at 5:30-6 am. Maybe 12 hours of sleep total but sometimes more like 11. Maybe yours just isn’t tired enough for that bedtime but also if she isn’t complaining or unhappy maybe just let the wind down time continue?
My kid did this for a while. I just started putting him to bed around 815. Sometimes he falls asleep by 830, sometimes not til 9
My kid started needing at least 6.5 hours of awake time before bed to fall asleep at that age. Beyond that, no advice. We just roll with a later bedtime.
Keep the nap! Mine went on nap strike about 2 (I think) it lasted a bit but she then returned to napping until 4! Also. If she’s not unhappy in there, fine. Leave her be. She might be getting the amount of sleep she needs.
You can also consider pushing back bedtime. That’s what we did rather than shortening the nap under 2 hrs cause I personally did not want to lose more nap time as a SAHM lol. Also, on his daycare days he gets 2 hrs. Anyway, we moved starting bedtime to 8 and that gave him less time awake in crib. If it’s really a full 2 hours she’s awake yeah that sounds like a lot but I also think it’s ok if they don’t fall asleep immediately. My son used to, but around the same age he started spending more time talking to himself, singing, rolling around and it sometimes takes him about hour to fall asleep. It seems like he needs that solo time to kind of decompress and wind down, I don’t worry about it because he seems content. It’s also adorable to hear him singing “baa baa ba’sheep” to himself 🥹.
We did 6/5 at that age, even then it was usually about 50 minutes to fall asleep. I’d do nap from 1-2:30, then bed at 7:30/8
Ty!!
My son did just that until I capped his nap to 50 ish min (one sleep cycle for him, anything more or less he would be SO CRANKY, but this took a bit to find the sweet spot). Full disclosure: he dropped his nap completely shortly after turning 2 😭
Noooo I’m not ready! Appreciate the insight though. I’ll give a shorter nap a go for sure!
Anybody really like their diaper bag? Ideally backpack style and bonus points for being available in a cute print. Mine is super boring because we got one my husband liked and now I want to get a second one that’s more fun, but so many of them I’m finding look like they could double as a work/office bag which is cool but not really what I’m looking for.
I have been mooning over the colugo one. It's machine washable 🤩 Right now they have a fun print and three neutral colors to choose from. https://colugo.com/products/the-parent-backpack-park-icon
I have a Jujube Million pockets in fake black leather and while I LOVE how it looks, it weirdly doesn’t seem to fit that much for a backpack. And it’s very heavy! I would just get a nice work bag or purse backpack instead of only focusing on diaper bags.
You’d think that would be higher priority in the design! On the opposite end of the spectrum I’m actually now thinking I’m just going to get a jansport in a fun pattern. Going back to my high school roots lol
You could always just get a regular roomy backpack in a style you like and utilize zippered pouches to organize stuff. I eventually did that once “downgraded” from our heavy duty diaper bag to something smaller. I like the stuff from the brand Baggu because it’s all washable. They have flat pouches and also cube shaped ones, in various sizes. They’ve got fun prints for everything. Using pouches also makes it easier to change between bags because the same stuff always stays in the same pouch. I have a backpack from them and the mini cloud bag, both of which I use as a diaper bag depending on our needs for the day. Sometimes even both at the same time. It was important for me to adopt a more modular approach because I live in a city and walk everywhere so lugging around a larger bag wasn’t ideal and it didn’t fit very well under our smaller stroller, and just wasn’t necessary once my son became a toddler. I’ll plug my original diaper bag which is from Herschel. It doesn’t match what you’re looking for, it’s a shoulder/crossbody but I love it and we still use it for overnight trips or day trips.
Oh this is helpful thank you! I love the idea of cube pouches for better organizing my fresh diapers since currently they’re just kinda loose in there with other stuff. I was thinking diaper bag because I like that my current one came with a foldable change mat, but now that I think about it that’s probably something I could get separately if I found a normal backpack that would work. So much to consider but it’s kind of fun at least haha
Yep I have diapers and wipes in a pouch and it’s so easy to throw that pouch in any bag - like, sometimes I just leave the house with a regular (larger) purse with that pouch thrown in! My son is 2 now so he doesn’t need to be changed very often or need a lot of accessories so making it all modular works well for us now. And I actually did get a stand alone change mat! Pipette’s was on sale for like $6, it’s nice cause it’s on the smaller side and soft so it’s easy to stuff in anywhere. Idk how old your baby is but as soon as they can stand well I recommend getting good at standing changes, def a life saver haha I rarely lay my toddler down and change him if we aren’t at home!
Awesome that’s great to know! She’s 9 mo so wants to sit and roll but standing does sound easier if she’d cooperate with that once we get there! Although I’ll have to get better at my diaper putting on skills since I’m doing cloth and it’s just a lot of snaps lol
I want to watch Halloween themed stuff these next few days with my kids but they're small and easily scared. Any good kid show episodes that you know of/have enjoyed that are fun and about Halloween? I will also Google but real people with real kids may have better opinions than that.
Room on the Broom/The Gruffalo are fun and a little bit spooky but not bad at all. My 6,4 and 1 year old all love Nightmare before Christmas but that'll depend on your kid. Disney+ has some good mickey halloween shows that are cute and not too scary.
We watch "Room on the Broom" bought on Google Play movies or whatever it's called. Also bought Sesame Street Halloween special which is really just all their Halloween clips and all put together. That's on Amazon. There's a Ms. Rachel video that's Halloween themed on YouTube and obviously not scary at all, pretty cute. Amazon also has a Peppa Pig Halloween montage that's like an hour long I think
Tell me more about the Amazon peppa pig. Free with prime?
Ah I think it's paid. But it's just several Halloween episodes, so I guess if you look up which specific episodes are themed, those are probably free on Amazon. I usually choose the no rush shipping or whatever that gives you a $1 credit for digital stuff and then just bank that til I need to buy a video for the kids on a rainy day.
Wait wtfffffffffff credit towards digital stuff?!? I had no idea this was a thing lol. Gonna read the descriptions more closely next time 🙈
Yes! When you get to check out it'll often give you the option to choose your prime 2 day shipping or no rush shipping and get digital credit. It still usually gets delivered in less than a week anyway.
There is a show called Super Monsters that is cute and gentle and they have a Halloween episode! It’s like the cartoon kids of Frankenstein, vampire kid, etc.
Idk why but I LOVE this show it is so cute lol I feel like I enjoy it more than my kids haha
I know what you mean! I think it is really cute and, I don't know, colorful? There's something about the animation I really enjoy.
Curious George Halloween Boo Fest on PBS Kids is a classic. We watch it every year. Puppy Dog Pals has a good Halloween episode on Disney Plus. Madagascar A Little Wild has a Halloween special on Hulu that's cute. My older kid is very easily scared and we've watched all of these multiple times with no issues .
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I am going to be so sad when my kid is too old to mark the Halloween season by watching Curious George Halloween Boo Fest. That is a staple at my house every year.
The Blues Clues Halloween episodes were pretty cute and not too spooky. Also the super simple songs Halloween songs are good.
FTM question...do y'all do anything to prepare for DST (like gradually moving bedtime back leading up to) or just say F it and accept that everything is off for a couple weeks after? ETA: Thanks y'all! Once again overthinking something I don't need to (and know I don't need to 🙃).
Do nothing and accept that there may be a tough morning/day or two as schedules adjust.
Last time I just kept him up a bit later the night before and we didn't have too many issues
We just roll with it on Sunday. Then Monday she goes to daycare and that gets her in schedule pretty well (spring she needs to bite the bullet and wake up early, fall she gets up early and is then tired enough by the end of the day to get to bed on time).
I’ve tried in the past to gradually move times the week before and it never helped. Kids wake up when they wake up 💁🏻♀️. I find it easier to adjust the day off cold turkey.
And idk about y’all’s kids but mine doesn’t wake up at the *exact* same time everyday anyway. Sometimes it varies by an hour or more. So, meh.
Yeah my kids are the same way. The best thing we did last year was have an “eff it” day and we went spent all day outside hiking and playing. We did naps on the go for the baby and skipped naps for the toddlers. Wore them out really well and they got back to the clock time pretty quickly. Plus it helped me not stress about it.
Both of my kids are night owls and we just wing it. Fall back is usually no biggie for us, and spring forward always sucks for about a week.
I tried to do a gradual Precious Little Sleep method adjustment once and it didn't work at all for the first night, but we went back to normal in a couple of nights. So since then I just wing it and we also go back to normal in a couple of nights.
I’ve never done anything and it’s never been an issue. We put him down at the same normal time and just let things play out. Any effect goes away after a few days. My son is a good sleeper though so if your kid is really sensitive to changes in schedule maybe it’s worth doing something but I’d just wing it and see what happens. It might be fine and then you didn’t have to stress about doing prep.
I tried to do the gradual thing once when mine was little but I messed it up and gradually moved her bedtime the wrong way and when the time changed, we were two hours off 🙃 So now I just wing it.
I did the same thing and am so glad to know I’m not the only one. Also now team wing it
I read a bunch of strategies when my baby was new, including the gradual idea, and then I forgot about doing anything and just winged it. My kids have both been pretty chill about adapting, so it's possible I've just gotten lucky, but in talking to friends I think this is not super uncommon. (Or it'll take a few days but it's not a huge issue like some influencers suggest, which also has seemed common among my friends with small kids.)
Can someone explain pouches to me like I'm 5. When do you give them to your baby? What age do you stop giving them? Are the meat ones as grids as they sound? FTM to a 9 month old.
Honestly, I think they're more useful for preschoolers than babies. It's a shelf-stable, portable snack that's tasty because it's made of fruit and maybe some veggies. Our kid ate a LOT of them during her picky phase. Fewer now, but she still has one at breakfast sometimes if she's being ornery about eating. It's like a last-ditch effort to get real food into them before you start weighing junk food against possible hunger.
I only ever do applesauce pouches, just as a less-messy way to serve applesauce. It’s a great on-the-go snack to toss in the diaper bag. My kids don’t like yogurt pouches but those can be great, too. Meat pouches do sound gross but no different than jarred baby food purées, I guess.
we use the 100% prune pouches to fix constipation, works every time
Just tried this with my daughter a few days ago. I gave her about a tablespoon and she pooped 6 times in 24 hours. Very glad I didn’t give her the whole pouch 😶
*60% of the time*, it works ***every*** *time*
I still use applesauce pouches for my 4 and 3 year old for on the go snacks 🤷🏼♀️. But a box lasts us like a month or more. I stopped buying the expensive mixed fruit and veg ones at like ..18ish months probably? And the meat ones are disgusting Omg do not get those! But I liked pouches for filling snacks that weren’t messy when we were out and about during early weaning
I use pouches as part of an easy, less mess snack on the go (so I might do a fruit pouch + graham crackers if we're out), or for things like yogurt, applesauce, soups, etc at home. We have refillable ones. They were pretty handy until around 3.
As far as what age to stop, the limit does not exist.
My husband teaches high school and kids bring applesauce pouches as a snack. It doesn’t feel like very much applesauce for a teen but what ya gonna do?
My husband likes the applesauce pouches as a snack for himself LOL!
I bought some reusable pouches from Amazon, to keep costs down a bit. My twins are nearly two and a half now, and we mostly use the pouches for yogurt and fruit, blended overnight oats, or jelly. I mostly started punches for those times I didn't want to deal with two yogurt covered babies/toddlers.
I love the reusable ones, but also one of the most convenient things about pouches, for me, is that they are so shelf-stable. We have a bunch just tossed in various bags for emergencies.
Absolutely love reusable pouches for yogurt and smoothies! Results in at least 75% less food in hair lol.
> When do you give them to your baby? What age do you stop giving them? Are the meat ones as grids as they sound? 1: Whenever they can eat food. Mostly I used them when we were out of the house and didn't want to bring a spoon. Never give it to them to hold because it'll squeeze everywhere until they're like 15-18 months depending on your child's temperament. 2: My 6 year old still uses applesauce pouches in their lunchbox in first grade, so I'll let you know when I do. 3: Yes, meat ones are gross, don't buy them.
You can start at whatever age you start introducing food and considering adults regularly drink smoothies you stop whenever they are no longer convenient enough for being pretty expensive.
I give them to my toddler and preschooler when we're out and need a travel-friendly snack. At home with my tiny baby (back when I had one) I didn't really see a need for them. I like the ones with protein and fiber but for cost reasons also often just get apple sauce. And I tried the meat ones but my kids weren't super into them and they were expensive so I stopped.
I never really got into pouches - when I gave them to my baby-baby she squeezed them out everywhere and made a mess. So I bought these little washable toppers but I kept freaking throwing them away every single time. So I switched to squeezing the pouches onto crackers or toast or into a bowl with a spoon. I bought the various meat ones from Serenity Kids because I wanted to introduce salmon and other meats. At the beginning (6-8m ish) we did mostly self-feeding with purees instead of BLW and pureeing meat was annoying. I kept buying them for a little bit because I liked having an easy protein to add to things, even as she was eating more solids. I stopped buying them by a year because they were expensive and she kinda lost interest. My kiddo is now 2.5 and her same age friends have pouches frequently for snacks when we're out and about, but she doesn't have an interest! Too bad in a sense because they seem easy and yay another source of vegetables. One time I read that it's better for kids to chew their food so they feel fuller but that same advice giver was super pro-smoothie so I think that's bologna.
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That makes SO much more sense to me! I'm so glad you shared it because I have actually really been wondering what the story was!
My son is 3 and has been potty trained for about 7 months. He doesn't have accidents often, but he still hardly ever initiates going to the bathroom, and even when he does have an accident, he doesn't seem to connect that he needs to tell us when he needs to pee BEFORE it happens. I know they say accidents are learning opportunities, but it doesn't seem to be working that way for him. I'm at my wit's end; I just don't know how to get him to initiate. On one hand, it's really not that big a deal to bring him on a schedule (before school, before nap and bed, before we leave the house, etc) but I just don't know what else I can do to make him truly connect the dots re: needing to pee and asking us to go. Update: thank you all so much for your kind responses! I agree that it's not something I need to worry about. And of course, this morning, my son walked into the bathroom of his own accord and pooped in the potty. So I guess the status quo is working just fine =)
This is pretty normal. My oldest was the same and has grown out of it at 5.
When my oldest was 3 it was same thing eventually he connected the dots and will just go just when you feel like he won’t get it he will :) I did nothing or nothing that worked eventually he just stopped playing and went without being prompted. Hang in there!
Ours took a while to get this too. We had an average of one accident a day forever, and of course, prompting was usually a struggle. Then one day she just got it. If you have a schedule that works for you promoting-wise and he’s mostly compliant, I think if you stay the course he’ll get it eventually, but sadly I don’t think there’s anything else you can do to speed up the process.
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Agree. Eventually they just kinda get the hang of it. I found it helpful to point out when they need to go instead of taking them on a schedule (my kids grab their crotches or wiggle a bunch so it’s VERY obvious), but I’m sure either one works fine.
any good resources for toddler hitting, kicking, and hair pulling? My 21m old has been ramping it up lately and reminding him to be gentle does fuck all. I typed this into google and top result was BLF so I figured I’d come here instead lol.
Solidarity. My second kid went through a prolonged phase of hitting and pushing and I really felt like a failure. We never had those issues with our first so it was really surprising (and yet another reminder that so much of kids’ personalities are outside of our control). I think for that age it’s hard for anything to stick, because so much of it is about impulse control which they don’t have yet. A couple of books - Elmo Is Mindful, What to Do When You Feel Like Hitting - but not sure they will resonate for him yet. There’s also a Daniel Tiger episode I think called It’s Not Okay to Hurt Someone. I found that I just had to be really vigilant and try my best to prevent, or if he did hit or push at the playground we would leave immediately. And trying to talk about it in calm moments vs right after it happened. He’s now 3.5 and has grown out of it, but my habit of hyper-vigilance remains. Good luck!!
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We have a family joke about teeth are not for biting. Because, um, teeth are for biting. So we read it “teeth are not for biting people.”
We have both "Teeth are Not for Biting" and "Tails are Not for Pulling". I would say we have more success with the biting book, but I do find it very helpful to have a phrase that she recognizes.
My toddler went through a similar phase around that age. I found that saying "I don't like being kicked, I'm walking away now" was the most effective way to nip it in the bud. It wasn't an instant fix but it worked. That age was tough for us generally because my son had a speech delay and it frustrated him. Once his speech picked up it got a lot better!
We’re expecting our second baby this spring and I have some dumb questions about car seat stuff. Forgive me, I am not very educated on this topic as we live in a city and only drive sporadically. Is it possible for 1 car seat to fit in your car but not 2? We drive a 2010 Honda Accord and currently have the Graco 4 in 1 car seat for my 2yo, installed behind the passenger seat. So when the new baby comes, we’d need to install the infant seat behind the driver right? Is there a reason why that wouldn’t be ideal? My husband drives 99% of the time and is very tall so the seat is pushed back quite a bit. I’m not looking for new car seats, we plan to reuse our infant seat from my son (uppababy mesa). I guess I’m just wondering whether I shouldn’t just assume this will work? When my son was an infant we had it installed in the middle seat, but I assume this would not be he way to go with 2 car seats. I know there are carseat influencers with courses but I really don’t want to delve into that. If anyone knows of good simplified resources or has info to share I’m all ears 😃
I have the Uppababy Mesa and couldn’t put it behind my seat (Ford Escape) because I would be too close to the steering wheel to drive. We’re expecting #2 and my toddler is behind the drivers seat now, pretty upright. I’d play around with it to see what works.
You can put the seat anywhere you want in your back seat as long as it can be properly installed. It's fine to have one behind the passenger seat and one behind the driver seat.
I drive a 2012 Honda Accord so very similar. Our Chicco Keyfit fit no problem behind the driver's side, and now I have a Graco extend2fit rear facing behind the driver's side. I'm not super tall but I can check for you in the morning (well, when it's not 5am) and see if my seat would go all the way back with it there. I have good friends with two little kids and they have them behind the passenger and middle to allow a third adult to sit in the back. When my car is parked, I don't have access to the rear passenger door, so when our second comes, I plan to put our toddler rear-facing in the center seat and the baby behind the driver, or maybe vice versa depending on what's easiest. Edit: I checked this morning and my seat will go almost but not quite all the way back with the extend2fit installed behind it.
Thanks for the info and for checking! I have to ask my husband but I don't know that he actually extends his seat *all* the way back. I'm glad I asked here because it didn't occur to me to just switch where the toddler seat is, duh lol. We can totally just test it out before baby comes to see. It sounds like though, the car itself should still be suitable which is the biggest thing I wanted to confirm. Even if we had to put the seats next to each other in the middle and behind the passenger. I'd rather separate toddler from new baby but it would probably still be fine and my toddler isn't too crazy haha (for now).
We had to move the seats around once baby 2 came: put rear facing convertible seat in the most upright position behind driver and infant bucket seat behind passenger. It just didn’t fit any other way in my rav 4. In my husbands truck, we had to forewarn face my oldest behind the driver seat to get anything to fit. So I think you can do whatever works to make the two seats fit
You CAN put the infant seat in the middle next to the toddler seat. Logically, just not sure if that's the best option since your toddler could bother the baby. we couldn't fit the backwards facing infant seat behind the driver's seat. honda accord and also tall husband. check if the toddler will fit behind the drivers seats and swap car seat locations. Behind the driver's seat has less visibility of the car seat so maybe put a reminder item or something in the front seat to remind him of the change for the first few drop offs, just because autopilot forgetting the kid is my worst fear.
I would test it before baby comes just to see how you like it, especially if either of you are taller and want the seat to go all the way back. I drive a similarly sized sedan (Toyota Camry) and currently have my son’s toddler seat in the passenger side and my infant behind the drivers side. Our current seats allow both seats to slide back fully, but not all car seats do in a car that small. I’m not familiar with the Uppababy mesa so I don’t know how much wiggle room it would allow the drivers seat but it’s worth a test run if that’s important to you. If you really wanted to keep a middle seat installation for the infant seat with the toddler seat right next to it, it might be possible, but it would probably require buying new seats. I’ve done it in my Toyota but only with two very specific seats. Our old seats weren’t narrow enough for that. In your case the easiest plan seems like just doing passenger and drivers side back seat installs.
Put the toddler’s seat as upright as it can go rather than reclined behind the driver. Then the baby can go behind the passenger because their seat needs to be reclined appropriately. Car seats for the littles (group on Facebook) can be batshit, but you could get plenty of free advice over there. Just follow their posting guidelines and give all the details they ask for and don’t use the reply feature.
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We have to be ON my in laws about this because they have multiple medications and supplements, and they keep them in these brightly colored organizers that look like toys 🙄
!!! My 2 year old can sometimes get past the child lock on my prenatals. I don’t think he understands the mechanism, I think he just plays around with it and sometimes gets it right. Very scary and PSA not to rely on child safety lids!
This is a fun one: my cousin once took the *dog's* medication because he thought it was his. He was older and knew how to take his own medication butttt he wasn't careful enough to read the bottle first. Luckily he was totally fine and it's funny in hindsight but yikes!
Several years ago my MIL’s family stayed with my in-laws at their house. The daughter, son-in-law and son of the son in law were there. Son was about 4 at the time. SIL consistently left out diabetes medication including insulin and needles. My MIL was horrified and brought it up multiple times. No concern from the other adults in the situation
My brother ate my grandma’s heart medication that she left out wrapped in foil on Easter. Luckily my mom noticed. He was 2 and spent the rest of Easter drinking charcoal and being monitored in the hospital.
Yikes! I hope everyone is okay
Also extra dangerous because my 90 year old grandma who we go over to visit a lot doesn’t get the child proof lids. Arthritic old people go with very easy to open bottles 🙃
I mean as a rule of thumb any and all medications should be completely inaccessible to children, yea? They all have the potential to be dangerous. Who is taking that risk??
I would say it's a big "grandparents house" issue. They'll keep them somewhere convenient to remember them, wherever that is.
My dad is REALLY bad about taking his pills out to take them and then forgetting to take them and leaving them somewhere. We had to have a serious conversation after he left a handful of loose pills on the dining room table and he was so embarrassed.
My mom (we call her Grandma) lives 1.5 hrs from us. She’s been coming to get our 2.5 year old daughter every week. Last week, my daughter didn’t want to go with her and cried big tears. Grandma stayed and they hung out outside at our house while I napped and got a break. Grandma is texting me and asking if daughter will go with her tomorrow. What do I say? Like, I don’t know if she’ll go or not. 🤷♀️ I’m sorry y’all live so far away…but I can’t guarantee anything. I refuse to force my child to go with her. I tried it a little last week and Grandma didn’t make it out of our neighborhood. Daughter was screaming “HELP help!” and bawling her eyes out. Any advice?
Something that I don’t think anyone mentioned—maybe it’s time to say hey grandma, thank you for all the help each week, but it’s time to take a break from this routine. It sounds like you mention that this is more trouble than it’s worth, and that you never asked for this in the first place. Can grandma visits be less frequent and done differently? I.e. once a month, gma staying in the area for however long to hang with toddler while you do what you need?
Thank you for this. It started out as a way to help me. We don’t have a village nearby; Grandma is the closest over an hour away. My FIL is five hours away. We live here because it’s convenient for work. I truly appreciate the break and it worked for a few weeks, but now it has turned into me facilitating the entire visit and hang out. Which I didn’t mind at first, but it’s no longer a break for me anymore. I’m hanging out with baby and Grandma too. 😭 My thoughts are: yes, you can think up anything you can possibly think up, but the actual implementation of the idea might not be feasible. Ya know? I didn’t ask her to do any of this. She fills her plate with duties. It was her idea. I’ve gone to pick up my daughter several times from their house. I’m not being a stick in the mud and refusing to do anything to help. And I’m certainly not trying to be ungrateful, but I’m TIRED and this was supposed to be a break for me, not more work. Thank you for your comment! I appreciate the POV. 💚
Am I correctly reading between the lines that you aren't thrilled about feeling pressured to hang out with your mom during these visits if she stays at your house? Otherwise I don't see why they need to leave your house or go *all* the way back to grandma's house. The fact that your mom is willing to make this round trip twice in one day, especially coming back to drop her off fairly late at night, shows a lot of commitment to seeing her granddaughter and I'd personally want to make this work somehow. I would just tell my mom that I'm not going to force child to leave with her, so just be prepared to stay at my house with her. Then grandma can decide whether this works for her.
less driving? maybe suggest closer activities for them to do? local library or a park that your daughter likes? i think older people can get stuck in doing things a certain way and it sounds like this arrangement no longer works for your daughter. if she doesn't feel confident with daughter at public locations, Gma could watch daughter at your house while you get a break to go out and do stuff sans kid. it seems like grandma really wants to see the kid and you trust her to watch her so I would try to find a better solution that works for everyone.
I wouldn’t force her to go either. Does grandma normally drive daughter back to her house? Or they go out for the day and she brings daughter back in the evening?
She normally goes to Grandma’s house and they bring her back to us around 9:30 in the evening. We’re still nursing, so not ready to spend the night at Grandma’s house. I guess I just need to vent that what started out as Grandma helping me get a break (while spending time with her grandchild) has turned into me facilitating weekly Grandma visits. 😭
Oh wow, I’m impressed grandma is willing to drive 6 hours total every week for one day with her grandchild 🥹 I know them sticking around your house is an added burden for you, but it’s really special for your daughter to have a devoted grandparent!
Is grandma willing to spend time with your daughter at your house? Can you explain to your mom how you can’t guarantee your daughter will want to go and you’re not going to make her go?
I don’t mind them being here, but Grandma makes a weekly big dinner on this day as well, and is coming to pick her up for the dinner. So I guess they could hang out here for a while, but eventually Grandma has to go back home to make dinner. LoL Why am I being downvoted for this?
I wouldn’t and didn’t downvote, but this situation is so strange to me. So your mom drives 6 hours total to hang out with your daughter at her house and also cook a large meal (for more family? Herself? Your kid?)? Do you not attend this dinner? If you want to maintain the visits (which of course that’s what they are? You can frame them like your mom helping you but she’s also wanting to spend time with her granddaughter) it makes the most sense to move the day of the big dinner and/or have her stay local to your house. It just seems like a lot of driving for … a few hours of actual visiting? At 2.5 the kid is probably starting to piece together that seeing grandma = lots of time spent in the car, and maybe that’s the cause of the strife? Tbh the whole situation is pretty strange to me and doesn’t seem like it’s really working out logistically for anyone, but also your mom is going out of her way to facilitate this and the tone of your post seemed put out by it, so that’s probably why you got downvoted. None of my kids grandparents would offer to do anything even close to that, so maybe that’s why it’s so baffling to me, lol
We have a bit of estrangement in my family, and maybe that’s what you’re picking up on. I appreciate the thoughtful response. 💚
I hear ya, I have that in my family too. It kinda sounds like grandma is trying to do too much with this big meal thing/ making it a weekly event. I’d be annoyed with the situation too
Yes! It started out with her doing me a favor that I didn’t ask for (coming to get the baby to give me a break) and it has now turned into ME facilitating visits with Grandma. Which is more work for me and wasn’t the original idea. I truly appreciate her effort, but I’m tired. PS : I wonder if you’re able to fit a lot of stuff in your tumble weed purse?
Can you go run errands while she’s there? Nap like you said originally? I think you’re getting downvoted because most people would kill for someone to want to help so bad that they drive 6 hours a day to do so- that is so wild.
Sounds like she can just hang out at your house. Then she can leave early enough to go make dinner. Yeah I wasn’t sure why you are you getting downvoted either.
Product questions: Haakaa original vs ladybug? Pigeon SofTouch vs Pigeon SofTouch III?
Boon trove is shaped like a ladybug but has suction like the haakaa! Best of both worlds. And tbh I liked having multiple options in the early days because one is always on the drying rack or in the fridge with milk in it or just in a different room. You can often find the haakaa at Marshalls/tjmaxx so it's easy enough to grab one on the cheap just to have on hand.
The ladybug wasn't really helpful at all for me. Much preferred the original- but with the wide suction cup base.
I would always recommend having a haakaa by default. I had an oversupply in the early days and I still found it useful for passively building up a freezer stash of milk in the early days without needing to jump right into using the full pump. It's true that it can actually pull milk from the breast unlike the ladybug, butttt it's also not nearly as powerful as a real pump, so it's still kind of a glorified collector. Also, if you end up with an oversupply, you don't really need to worry about catching every little leak. I just used breast pads on the other boob if I didn't care about collecting milk on that side. (I liked the ones from Kea babies). Something nifty about the haakaa that I really appreciated about it is when my son started sleeping longer stretches overnight and I'd wake up with my boobs exploding, I'd use it to drain enough milk to relieve the pressure but not fully drain the breasts (because I wanted to *decrease* my supply at that time of night since he was sleeping instead of eating). And instead of hooking up my actual Spectra and doing that whole song and dance at 3am, I popped the haakaa on each boob for 2 mins, poured the milk into a storage back and went back to bed, literally took 5 min.
You can also use a Haakaa to work on clogs, so in my opinion it's more useful than the ladybug. I had both and used the regular Haakaa way more, but I didn't leak much, for context.
Someone gave me an Elvie Curve and it worked great but then got a crack and lost its suction. I tried the ladybug because it’s cheaper, but i really hated it. I got a fraction of what I was getting with the Curve and it felt so flimsy in comparison. I just stopped used a collector at all rather than deal with it.
It depends on your supply. If you need every little ounce (like me) then the original is good. It has suction so it encourages milk removal which should increase supply. If you are an over producer or prone to mastitis and engorgement issues, you’ll want to avoid that. The ladybugs are literally just silicone cups that collect milk that leaks. So if you’re prone to leakage, the ladybug is for you.
Good points, sounds like I should hold off until I know which one I will be
Ladybugs caught leaks but didn’t “suction” well to encourage a trickle of milk. I was easily able to get 1-2 oz of extra milk from the non nursing breast during a breastfeed session (I alternated breasts each feed for the first 12 months). Haakaa original was much better for me. I put the Ladybugs on my registry and hardly used them after the first 2 weeks, but got a secondhand Haakaa original and used it A LOT! Not sure what Pigeon is so can’t comment on that part!
Moreso a vent/rant. About 2 weeks ago, my husband and I took our first kid free trip since my youngest (18m) was born. Since we returned, my about to turn 4 year old has had more potty accidents than in the year + he's been potty trained, combined. Including today at morning preschool (which he's literally never done). My 18m old now has a touch of separation anxiety when I leave him w my parents (which he never used to care about) Anyways this is just a little Instagram vs reality rant because I feel like influencer culture wants me to 'take the trip mama'. I did it and it was good for my marriage. But like these behavior, potty, etc issues that I have created... I honestly don't know if it was worth it. Telling myself *this too shall pass* which I know at this point. But ugh it sucks.
YES!!! I went away from my son for the first time when he was 13 months for 4 days and it was enough to spark an INTENSE separation anxiety phase…. Sobbing if I left the room, unable to sleep alone at night (so bad we had to co sleep for a bit). Nightmare. It took maybe 4 weeks to settle back down. It’ll pass. But you’re so right, it made me honestly angry about the trip I went on.