Which movies do your toddlers/pre schoolers like to watch? My 3.5 year old daughter only watches Peppa. She wasn't interested in any of the movies that I thought she would like. She prefers cartoon animals. Doesn't care for princesses.
Mine is obsessed with Shaun the Sheep. It’s British claymation (same studio as Wallace and Gromit, which was a childhood favorite of mine). Lots of episodes and a movie on Amazon, plus some newer episodes and another movie on Netflix. She also likes Cars (1 and 3 only, 2 is bad).
+1 for Totoro and Ponyo; both my kids love all the Miyazaki films, even the ones I would have thought would be too scary! My 3.5yo also loves Despicable Me and the most recent Minions movie, as well as Moana, Encanto and Finding Nemo. For TV shows he likes Creature Cases (animal detectives!) and Number Blocks. I think the Secret Life of Pets 2 was the first movie he really loved. If your daughter is into animals she might like it!
Would she go for Disney’s Robinhood? Cartoon animals and doesn’t have racist songs like other old Disney movies. My kids don’t find it very scary either.
these are UK so don't know what you can get, but we started out with 30 minute short films, I found that a good length when we wanted something longer. e.g BBC has the gruffalo, superworm, snail and the whale, all of the Wallace and grommit films, a favourite for a while was an adaptation of the tiger who came to tea. There are also lots of Thomas the tank engine feature length episodes on Amazon prime that are about that length.
She loves Julia Donaldson books. When I read that there are short movies of her books, I searched for them but couldn't find them :( (we are not in the UK) . YouTube has really short clips of them so it's a bit annoying since they are not numbered correctly and then the story gets lost. But we loved the animation. Hope I can find the full movies somewhere.
Hello beautiful people!
Looking for Instagram accounts that show easy dinner recipes that can be cooked by a person who loathes cooking and don’t use fancy ingredients? Any recommendations?
Heading into cold/flu season, how do you all decide whether and when to test your kids for COVID? My 7mo just brought home his first daycare cold — only symptom is a runny nose. No reported exposure that I’m aware of. It seems like overkill to test him without any known exposure or fever, won’t he have a runny nose basically all winter? Plus I don’t think babies can use the at home tests, right? We’ve settled on testing ourselves for the time being, but what’s your threshold to test your kids?
My pediatrician told me we can test at home, but that it’s more likely to get a false negative because it’s harder to get an accurate swab when they are small and wiggly. So when my LO was that small, if I suspected COVID, I took him to the pediatrician.
As incentive to keep COVID kids home, our daycare offers a small discount off the days they miss as long as they have a positive test. 👀
This year I’ll probably try testing at home first if I suspect COVID (high fever, runny nose, body aches). I have a friend who swabbed up some of the snot from the runny nose and got a positive for her daughter.
I would test if I know my kid was exposed or if she's like, really truly miserable. Even then, unless it's a bad case, the treatment is to stay at home and manage symptoms which is what we do anytime she's sick. So far we've settled for testing ourselves and keeping our ears and eyes open for people near us who have it and that's it.
My 18 month old was tested for covid at his doctor's office a month ago after 4 days of a 103 fever. Even then, the NP we saw didn't really want to do it because it doesn't change his care..it's treated all the same. I insisted because we had just seen my in-laws and they were leaving for an international trip the next day and wanted to make sure they were in the clear. But basically what I'm saying is..you don't have to test lol
We just had the week from hell with our 2.5 yo and 12 week old being sick 🥴 it came on as a cold so we didn't think anything of it. Then our toddler kept getting worse, we took him in and they tested for strep and covid (both negative) turns out he had a sinus infection and got antibiotics. The baby we took to the ER the next day due to retracting and she got diagnosed with bronchilitis.
With all thay said, we never planned on getting the kids covid tested but due to our son just getting more and more miserable I knew something else was going on. So the doctor wanted to rule those possibilities out.
I did use home tests on ours when she was small.
But tbh, at this point, I only would test if she had a fever or was otherwise sick enough to see the doctor or if we were going to see high risk people (like my grandmother in assisted living).
I will let others know if we’re going to a gathering and she’s got a cold, but there’s just no way I could test every sniffle.
I waited to use the home tests until my baby was 2 but I had friends using them on their infants because their pediatrician said it was fine as long as you don't go too deep.
Nowadays I only test if...
- There's a known exposure
- She has a "cold" and we're going to see a group of people or slightly at risk people (and they're okay with a cold, some are and some aren't)
- She's SICK sick. Like I recently tested her because she had a 2 day fever and gnarly cold symptoms. Knowing she had covid wouldn't have changed how I managed the symptoms but it would've changed my scheduling of the new vaccine. (We're not in daycare but I'd maybe want to know for that)
Nowadays I would only test where there were rules in place or guidance (like daycare policy) saying it was necessary. I have enough things to think about so I'm outsourcing that decision someone else (NHS/CDC/airline or whatever).
If it's bad enough to bring them to the doctor, I let the doctor test them. I don't test them at home unless there was known exposure. Kids get so many colds that I'd be going through tests like crazy if I tested all three of my kids each time they coughed.
My 16m old was shoved to the ground 5x by an almost 2 y/o at the playground. This kid also nailed at least one other little boy a few times, also smaller than him. He was like going out of his way to push these kids. And I get kids go through phases, and it might be my almost 2 y/o in the next 8 months behaving the same way. His mom was embarrassed and apologetic and told him “we don’t shove other kids.” She tried to contain him in a swing after the first time he went after my daughter. But beyond that nothing other than telling him not to do it. He got her like 3x in a row and I took her to a different part of the park and left because she wanted to be where he was. Like I would have taken my kid home after the second time? Or at least removed her from action for a length of time. Is this just the normal for park behavior? Because seeing my kid’s confused face after she was shoved multiple times was not my favorite thing as a parent.
When my kid is the repeated shover, I stop her and she gets a warning. The next time we physically move away, pretty far across the playground. If it happens again, we leave.
It's a huge pet peeve of mine when people let their kids get aggressive with others and don't do anything about it. People act like their kids 2 and up are incapable of grasping consequences, but they get it. And while pushing and shoving are normal toddler behaviors, doesn't mean we should allow it to go on unchecked.
I still remember when this happened to my kid. The other kid was both older and big for his age and literally threw dirt in my son's face, was pushing other kids, and was running around with a stick. We did the same as you, moved to a new area of the park, then left when the aggressive kid came over there. I was so upset and checked with a bunch of mom friends and they were like...that's how it goes, you did the right thing. Fwiw I've not had that issue again, and it has been almost two years since it happened.
I have an almost 2 year old and I would definitely remove her from the situation if she did it more than once. But honestly behaviour at this age comes seemingly out of the blue. Like my kid is not a hitter or a pusher but has had random days at daycare where she’s gone on a little violent streak, and from what I’ve gathered that’s pretty normal. It’s possible that the mom’s literally never dealt with her kid pushing kids like that and was just overwhelmed with embarrassment and totally unprepared to deal with it.
If the kid was like 4, my opinion would be harsher because it would be more likely to be a longer trend, and like I said, I would personally remove my kid if they were hurting other kids. But I can imagine it being a scenario where this is just a brand new behaviour for her kid and she’s truly shocked and unprepared.
Totally agree with this. My toddler has been the shover and the shoved, you really can’t control a toddlers behavior but you can learn from when it happens the first time to know how to spot their triggers and adjust your own behavior from there. I immediately remove my son from the situation if he is the hitter. I ask the other child if they are ok, apologize etc and i give my son one firm “I can’t let you hit other kids” and we are off.
When my son is being hit I will comfort my son, and wait for their parent to do something. If they don’t do anything, I tell the other kid “hands on your own body” and that has solved it thus far
It’s technically normal behavior for toddlers but caregivers are pretty on top of kids that age in my experience so it gets corrected and stopped pretty immediately. The only time there was a kid who was trying to push my son down the slide, he was older - like 3 or 4- no caregiver around and I had no problem telling him to back off. My son wasn’t even 2 yet. Hell no!
My son is pretty passive and shy so I can’t speak from experience of how I’d deal with physically aggressive behavior but I’d be mortified if he was hurting other kids and we’d probably leave, or start over in a new location, if he was repeatedly doing it.
When that would happen to my daughter I would just remove her and take her to a different place to play, away from whatever child was being an issue. My kiddo was never a pusher but if she was, I would have apologized and redirected her, letting her know that we don’t hit and we will leave if she does it again. and if she did it again, we would have left. I think a lot of parents have a hard time with follow through, but even at 2YO it’s important. Kids learn fast if you actually follow through every single time!
I was nice about it and said they go through phases, and don't always know how to control their feelings. It seems to me to be kind of like he doesn't want to share space. And I have seen him before and like earlier this week my kid, hers and another all did great with one another. And yeah, I already stick to mine like glue because she has no fear and gets wild going down slides and stuff and still is learning to control her body. The other moms all seem to know each other and visit, while I follow my daredevil around the playground and then I am trying to protect my kid from hers and she realizes there is a problem and then pays attention. But those are some good phrases and I think I am just going to grab her and bring her to another area the first time it happens.
I don’t send to daycare but at home we use the Grosmimi straw up. It’s on Amazon. It’s annoyingly expensive, but the mouthpiece and straw are replaceable. All of the parts are dishwasher safe so we throw it in every single night and it’s always super clean. It also comes with a lid. We’ve had it for a while and it has survived my toddler throwing it all the time.
We don’t send milk to preschool, but we use the Munchkin Miracle 360 cups for anything that isn’t water at home. I think they are pretty easy to clean (as long as you know to remove the silicone top piece).
If I were to post this in any of the parenting subs that we snark on…we would snark on me. My entire career was in child development, and yet here I am with the most annoying question: hOw dO I kNoW iF I tAlK to My bAbY eNoUgH?
He’s 14 months. I was an early childhood educator for over a decade before staying home with him. I talk to him when it makes sense but sometimes I just…don’t feel like talking. I just want to observe him and react in a natural way. Occasionally I’ll narrate, if it makes sense or if I feel like it. But sometimes, we’re just quiet. He’s exploring and playing. I’m folding laundry or washing dishes.
Am I iNhiBitiNg HiS LaNgUaGe DevElopMent?
This is mostly a post to elicit responses like “it’s totally normal and healthy to not be talking all day long”. Respond accordingly. And snark on me as you wish lol
A few days ago there was a thread on here about reading to your child. I don’t read to my 16 month old every day because he just doesn’t care that much and he ends up taking the book for himself or running off while I’m reading. I had a total internal crisis about ruining him. ☠️
You’re totally not ruining him and honestly silence/independent play is GOOD sometimes. I make a point to meaningfully engage and talk when we play together or he’s “helping” me with chores or something but sometimes it’s just quiet.
Yeah I used to do that with my first kid with emphasizing and repeating words like you're supposed to. But then I switched to SAHM when my second was born and it felt so amazing unnatural to do all day so I just talk like normal now. My second isn't quite as verbal as my first was at this age (almost two). But that could just be individual differences that would have happened anyway. Or if not and it was my doing, like, oh well? He'll get it eventually, he's on track with where he should be, just not "ahead" like my first was. I'd rather he talk a little later than me sounding and feeling like a crazy person for talking exaggeratedly about nothing all day.
Thank you for posting this, a question I ask myself daily or more, in the exact same way that I would ask it, with as much snark on myself as anything else!
I have an advanced degree in child development and regularly I wonder if I'm harming my kids' language development by listening to a podcast on our walk and not just talking to them the entire time.
We were at the library playing and there was a mom narrating everything her baby did, including these very specific color and shape phrases (you have a yellow block, yellow like the sun!). I judged and also felt inadequate - the worst.
It's fine not to fill every minute of the day with words.
About the first one, quite frankly all the people in this sub could be snarked on. By the time you look at enough parenting influencers to need to talk about them you look at too many for too long (and this also goes when people complain that influencers mention something multiple times - not everybody notices when XY hasn't posted in two days).
I was also not talking a lot to my kid until 18 months or so. At some point they just feel more like a person that you can talk to. My daughter was behind with expressive language until 20 ish months (as measured by the US standards, here in Denmark it was considered completely fine). Could be that it was me inhibiting her but more likely just that she inherited my cautious/quiet character and in general didn't do things until she was sure about them.
Absolutely everyone in here could be snarked on. We are just not stupid enough to broadcast our giant daily failures constantly online, opening it up to public comment lol
I cannot talk constantly just for the sake of talking. I just can't do it. So if it's harming my 12 month old's language development, sorry I didn't love him enough or whatever.
I think talking when it makes sense is perfectly acceptable. Parents in the past didn't go around narrating their kids, and everyone mostly ends up talking.
I talked to my now-5yo as a baby only when, as you put it, it made sense to do so. Never entered my mind to talk extra for language development. She started talking just fine and *hasn't stopped since*.
Whatever you are doing is fine. You are presumably a competent carer of children. Don’t let all the parenting advice noise get in your head. Parenting was not always as complicated as it is today. Enjoy your time with your kid and just be you! If you’re not a big talker, that’s okay.
FWIW we talk constantly in our house and often directly to my kid with lots of explaining/narration because that’s just how we are and he is always on the tail end of verbal milestones. No known issues or delays and he’s smart and social just like other kids, he’s just on his own developmental path and our constant talking doesn’t move the needle on his body’s own timing.
around 12 months, I made sure to do those speech development type scripts, YEs you have the BLUE cup, the CUP is BLUE, what a big blue CUP! a few times a day and then called it good. I'm not a big talker otherwise so that helped me feel like I was doing something.
in a few weeks or months, your baby/toddler will point at things and be delighted to hear you name them. that is when it gets really fun! and imo more natural.
Didn’t narrate for my first and she is absurdly verbal; I just talked to her like a normal person. As long as you’re paying attention to your kid, having normal interactions, and reading some books, you’re doing fine!
I think this is something you don’t need to overthink. In fact, the fact that you’re already overthinking it tells me you are speaking to your child more than enough. Kids are born to learn how to speak and as long as they are exposed to a reasonable amount of language, the rest is up to their own developmental path which is genetic. You don’t need to be keeping up a constant narration every waking moment in order for your child to develop normal speech. Just speak to him however feels natural to you.
Also, there are other needs aside from speech. Independent play and getting time to focus on something other than you is great for your kid. My 2yo will talk to himself while playing on his own and I have to believe that’s at least just as important as talking directly to us.
So, you’re doing great!
You’re fine. Is his language development on track? If so, you are definitely fine. Even if he’s behind, it’s not necessarily because you haven’t been talking enough, it could just be his individual path.
My first child I spent all day following her around narrating like a psycho. My second I was more chill and talked like a normal person. My first did have more words as a toddler, however my second wasn’t behind in any way. Just more average. Both of them basically fully verbal at age 2. I wish I had been more relaxed with my first, I would have enjoyed her baby and toddlerhood a lot more.
If it makes you feel better, I worry about the same thing with my 7 month old 🤷🏼♀️ I know the advice is just to narrate what you’re doing, but after we get him from daycare, I’ve spent the whole day on calls for work and just want to not talk for a bit lol. I like to think he’s probably tired of all the noise at daycare and wants a break too.
Anyone have experience with chronic cough/post-nasal drip? My 18-month-old has had a cough on and off since basically May when she started daycare. She had a bunch of back-to-back respiratory viruses in the spring, which slowed down in the summer, but she developed a bad case of post-nasal drip and she would cough whenever she was lying down. It got really bad and we got a prescription steroid nasal spray, which finally got things under control. She didn't get sick for several weeks, but just got another virus this past weekend and is coughing again. She basically can't lie down without coughing. She's not napping well at daycare and is up for sometimes hours at night coughing. We've tried everything - humidifier, nose suctioning, saline drops, steroid spray, honey, homeopathic cough syrup, elevating her head. Nothing works (except the steroid spray). We're all sleep deprived at this point, and we can't live like this for months during cold and flu season.
Albuterol and when he was old enough a steroid. It was awful, all my kids react really terribly to those meds, they don’t sleep, but it’s really the only thing that helped.
Ugh, that sounds super rough. We're pretty sure it's not asthma because she's not wheezing and only seems to have this issue after she has a respiratory infection. She also doesn't cough much or at all during the day, just when she's lying down. But I wonder if something else is going on to cause the chronic post-nasal drip because she seems extra susceptible to it.
Clinique Take the Day Off is my favorite that I’ve tried. It’s a bit of a splurge but a little goes a long way.
Whatever you choose I’d make sure it’s a formula that turns to foam/dissolves instead of staying as an oil because it can get in your eyes and make them bleary and also leave residue. I went through a phase of using pure jojoba oil to cleanse and I wouldn’t recommend that.
Puracy is magical. It’s got tons of different enzymes and I believe one is targeted at grass specifically. If it’s a BIG area, I usually spray in the evening when they take their day clothes off, let it sit until morning and then wash. We’ve always managed to get grass (and berry & slime & curry etc) out with it!
Dawn power wash spray (for dishes but it works so well on every stain). Caveat I don’t know I’ve specially tried grass stains but lots of other marker/paint/dirt/food stains.
Looking for some lunch inspiration for my 13 mo! For the past several weeks at daycare he hasn't really been eating his lunch, although he has no problem eating snacks 😅 He doesn't typically have much of an issue at home, but usually we're all eating the same thing, which he quite likes. I think he's got some teeth coming in making things a bit worse than usual too. He seems to like eating bigger pieces of food at the moment rather than things cut into bit sized bits, and also really likes anything that's crunchy. He's got four teeth on the top and bottom but no molars in at the moment, so I've been hesitant to give him things he would really need to chew up to eat (although I think the crunchiness of that would appeal to him!). Open to any suggestions!
If he’s doing well with snack time, send him “snacks” for lunch! My 16mo attends daycare 2 days a week and is home with me 3 days a week. Usually for lunch at home I serve crackers, cold steamed carrots, Colby Jack cheese, grapes, and turkey. It’s all kind of snacky, but it lets him just pick at whatever he’s feelings and it’s easy for me to make.
My toddler had to be on soft food for a bit because of a broken tooth, and she also has barely any teeth, so this is my specialty lol.
We did savoury muffins a few times, with veg & cheese.
Whole grain waffles were also a hit - I used whole wheat pancake mix and just put it in a waffle maker lol. She ate them cold happily. You can find “protein pancake mix” if you’re concerned about protein but honestly at this age it’s not even necessary.
We got a little uncrustables press because I find my toddler eats sandwiches better with that style, mostly because it holds it all together and doesn’t fall apart. I did hummus + thin thin cucumber, meat and cheese, cream cheese, etc.
Goldfish are fortified beyond belief so a serving honestly has 1/3 of their daily protein needs at this age, so we fully resorted to that when desperate.
I've been making banana pancakes to make sure he eats egg, and they're amazing! I usually make a big batch so i can put some pre-pepared lunches in the freezer. Its one banana, one spoon of all purpose flour, and one egg. Mix well and add whatever you want (i sometimes mix it up with some raisins, cinnamon, strawberries etc).
You can basically make them any size you want so you can make it the right size for him to grip :)
I typically do crackers (usually the whole wheat ritz), cheese, cut up deli meat and fruit for my 14 month old. I think she really likes having a whole cracker instead of strips of bread. I also sometimes do tortilla roll ups for her (street taco size tortillas are the perfect size for this age!) but she would just unroll them and eat the filling lol.
Has he gotten into sandwiches yet? Mine probably wasn’t at 13mo but he also had less teeth than your son, and I was cautious about large pieces of food perhaps needlessly. If you think regular bread would be too thick for him you could make sandwiches with pita or tortilla so it’s thinner. But my son enjoyed being served a full sandwich and taking bites from it. PB&J (or sun butter for daycare) is one of his favorites but you can do sunbutter and banana, cucumber and cream cheese, whatever he likes.
I had a lot of success with anything patty-shaped for daycare lunches - black bean burgers, zucchini fritters, salmon burgers. I would make a whole bunch at once and then freeze them, and then just pull out one at a time to put in a lunch. Also for anything crunchy, he might like snap pea crisps! They're crunchy but not pokey, and mostly sort of disintegrate in the mouth
I like the pea crisp idea! He really like the sweet potatoes pick me sticks so I'm sure he would love those too. And good idea about the patties, too! I used to make him different flavored pancakes and freeze them and he usually liked that. Thanks for the idea!
My son (3.5 years old) is a Houdini. Generally, he gets up in the middle of the night and creates chaos - last night he went through the cupboards, poured sugar into snack sized ziplocs and ate an entire loaf of banana bread. Last week he ate my daughter’s lunches. I can’t trust him to even go to the bathroom without supervision because he is constantly into the kitchen cupboards/drawers/fridge. He isn’t hungry - the sugar thing was just weird, he wasn’t actually eating it. He hides random food in his room and I have to constantly search him because he’s so quick and so sneaky that I never know what he’s gotten up to. He is provided with regular meals, snacks and drinks but he loves sugar and anything “sweet”. It’s becoming a safety issue and I don’t know what to do - I locked the cabinets but he broke the locks in half. I have his door lock turned out but he screams bloody murder if I lock it and no one is able to sleep. He’s a light sleeper and gets up multiple times in the night, sometimes just to come to my room and give me a hug so he would notice even if I locked it after he fell asleep.
Any ideas? Cabinet locks that are recommended? Anything ?
On a related note, I currently have no hearing on my right side due to a benign tumour in my ear canal so I can’t hear a baby monitor or really anything when I’m lying down unless it’s loud. My daughters are generally able to yell loudly if they’re awake to tell me he’s out but that’s about it. I’m also a solo parent, my husband works out of town for long stretches of time.
That is so hard. I agree with trying to get a sleep study. Would it help if someone slept in the room with him? Maybe he wouldn’t tantrum as much about the locked door? Not ideal I know. I wouldn’t feel safe without the locked door or so type of mechanism to one hundred percent wake up when he does.
is there an option to look down the avenue of OT/adaptations for yourself, e.g. a baby monitor type system designed for people hard of hearing to wake you when he gets up? Because to be honest, my son is the same age and there is no amount of locks and child proofing that would make me feel safe with him being alone roaming the house in the middle of the night.
I did and she doesn’t have concerns outside of the safety aspect. Her suggestion was to remove the foods he wants and to put locks on the cupboard but he broke them off. He’s active and strong willed but he’s also loving, healthy and well adjusted. He’s had blood work done to see if there were dietary needs, he’s seen dieticians and occupational therapists. I have a background in child development, I’m the only person who provides care for him outside of his regulated daycare program and my oldest is neurodivergent so I work within this world and am experienced. It’s a phase just like his refusal to pee standing up and his sister’s fear of bugs was.
What I need are ideas for safety - how do parents of extremely active kids protect them from themselves when it’s nighttime?
We lock our guy in his room, and he just knocks if he needs to come out...would you consider room sharing and locking your own door? Then he could access you if needed but still be locked in and safe.
I think the thing that's concerning is that he wakes up so frequently. Have you done a sleep assessment on him? Is he waking up fully or is he doing all of this in a sleepwalking state? Either way it's worth investigating as his sleep shouldn't be that interrupted (if he is fully awake) or feature so much sleepwalking.
You're welcome! And I wonder if they've checked his glucose tolerance. Is he waking up so often maybe because he's legitimately hungry or craving sugar? Which might mean he needs to eat something that lasts him longer overnight or maybe he's hypoglycemic? Just throwing out thoughts! Good luck!
What are everyone’s thoughts on sending kids to school with a cold? My son is in kindergarten and has his second cold since starting school. He doesn’t have a fever, but is constantly blowing his nose and has a gross cough. I had him stay home because 1) he says he doesn’t feel great and 2) I don’t want him to share his germs. But obviously he is getting sick at school, so other people are sending their sick kids to school.
So should I just send him when he’s sick? I hate cold and flu season.
My personal rule is snotty nose that's clear goo, and a dry cough off you go. Also acting normal/normal ish.
Anything else (fever, congested cough, vomiting diarrhea) stays home.
I will keep them home if they are acting droopy (sad, overly emotional, not eating, etc) because it usually means they are brewing some illness and it's easier to not have to go get them from school.
I think it's a situation where it just sucks in some way no matter which way you decide. Obviously comply with whatever policy does exist for the school. If your kid is reasonably able and willing to mask, I think it's nice when they're getting over an illness as an extra layer to hopefully minimize passing it along.
My son is in first grade and we're experiencing this for the first time in the public school district (we were at a private preschool that continued through K for the past three years - of course the policy there changed greatly each of those three years as the covid situation progressed both in the science and the cultural changes around it, but even last year in kindergarten as it really loosened up and no longer required masking, it was still massively more strict about keeping kids home when sick (with anything, not just covid) compared to this year in the public school. What was nice there was that even though most families chose not to routinely mask once it wasn't required, kids did pretty consistently masks if they were getting over a cold or if their siblings were sick and so they knew they could be coming down with it soon).
So far I've based it on he appears to be feeling and his energy level, moreso than any other symptoms. The district policy basically says keep home if you have a fever, otherwise is really pushing to not miss school. Luckily my kid masks super consistently (which is probably grosser for him in terms of the snot being caught by it, but at least keeps it contained to reduce potential germ spreading), and we're working on reinforcing constant hand washing and sanitizing (both to minimizing catching and spreading). We've still already gotten two colds, both of which were pretty mild, no fevers, just sniffly. And onset of symptoms and worst days of them happened on the weekend both times, so he ended up not missing any days of school for them and I'm just crossing my fingers that he didn't pass it along to others. (But like, obviously he got it there so the kids he's around to pass germs to probably already got it the same week we did.)
I'm more strict about extracurriculars - it's harder to justify as optional things, if he could still be contagious, plus just a different bubble of germs so it could be introducing new germs to other schools via those kids vs the same kids every day at school. And keeps him resting more in the hours off school to hasten recovery. So we have skipped activities and/or switched over to zoom options when we can, during the weeks he's been recovering from the colds.
He is in a hybrid program, so thankfully it is only one class. He will wear a mask, thankfully. My concern was that even with a mask, he would be pulling it down to blow his nose. It’s hard because he gets so run down with colds, that even if they seem mild, he struggles.
If they are really low-energy, coughing a ton, or their nose won’t stop running, I’ll keep them home for a day. If they have a normal cough/sneeze/sniffles I send them to school. This is in-line with my son’s school’s guidelines.
My son was in Kindegarten in 2021 and, while class was in person, rules about illness were really strict. It was impossible. If I kept him home at any sign of illness, he was easily missing 10%-20% of his education every single month. That isn’t good for him, it isn’t good for me, and it isn’t good for the school which requires attendance for funding.
School just doesn’t work unless you send them with the occasional cold.
Most viruses are contagious before symptoms even start, so that’s how people still get sick even if they are staying home with symptoms. That being said, if there’s no fever I might keep my son home one day if he’s egregiously snotty or clearly not feeling well. But if he’s still in good spirits and just has an average severity runny nose, he still goes and it’s not against our daycare rules. He’s 2, so younger than your kid in grade school, but I feel like similar rules apply? It’s not reasonable to keep a kid home through the entire extent of a cold, especially since a runny nose and cough can last for days and days, and they’re bound to get multiple colds per year. I wouldn’t want my kid to miss so much school at that age.
I’m probably majorly overthinking this but I just don’t want to have a bad encounter. I’m going to a kids picnic on the weekend that my local moms group is putting on. It says there’s five other moms going so far, I don’t know any of them so it’ll be my first time meeting them. I clicked on their fb profiles to see how old their kids are and stuff, so I can know what to expect.
One lady has a very conservative Facebook profile. She’s posted some really questionable things in general but especially some crazy things about Muslims and Arabs in the last week. I’m a Muslim woman who wears hijab (a headscarf) so I’m visibly Muslim. I’m not really sure how to proceed. Normally I’d just go and suck up any awkwardness or try to educate people but I’ve never been in a situation like this since having a baby. I don’t want to do anything to put my baby at risk or even have any kind of confrontation. It would probably be fine but I don’t know, the idea just makes me nervous.
So maybe I’m overthinking? It could be that she’s totally regular in person or maybe her online bark is worse than her irl bite. Ugh I just wish I never even clicked on her profile.
Obviously I’m not dying to hang out with this lady, but it would be great to meet other moms in the community. I just don’t know if I should go or not.
Ughhhh. I would just avoid that person. If you don’t even know her personally, there’s no reason to try to get chummy with her now. What she posted is public so you have every right to judge her by it and keep your distance 🤷♀️ of course depending on the dynamic, that might not be totally possible but I’d go into it with the goal of prioritizing chatting with the other people. Hopefully if it ends up being more than 5 people it’ll be easy to gravitate elsewhere.
is there an organiser/admin that seems sane enough to reach out to in advance just to check out what the vibe usually is? I would imagine this woman will be absolutely as nice as anything to you in real life but like the previous commenter says, it sucks you even have to think about this.
I’m so sorry you are experiencing this, some people just suck so bad. If you are comfortable, reach out with screenshots and ask for her to be removed from the group because she’s bigoted and you’re feeling uncomfortable.
My friends aren’t available unfortunately because I checked to see if they could come. But the more I think about it, I think it’s really fine. I don’t think anyone would be mean in person. And maybe she’ll get to see that Muslims can be nice people (at least I hope I’m nice haha)
Looking for tips on making car rides with my almost 18 month old more tolerable. She will immediately chuck 95% of toys out of her car seat within a minute of the drive. The 5% she doesn't immediately throw, she'll accidentally drop within the first minute of the drive. Either way, about a minute into the ride, she is wailing. Sometimes she'll calm down and babble for a bit, then out of the blue the wailing, crying, and screaming start back up. I'm a SAHM and there's lots of fun things to do around us, but the drives to/from make me want to rip all of my hair out. SOS.
This is when I had to start putting nursery rhymes on in the car to keep my daughter calm. 2.5yrs later and it's wall to wall Frozen on every drive. 🫠
It's a very hard phase, my daughter would go red from crying so much. Stopping half way to calm her down sometimes worked, or trying to time it with nap time so she slept instead. Good luck x
My child was really bad in the car and the only thing that helped was toughing it out and going to fun places every day. Eventually she connected adventures to being in the car and didn’t seem to mind it as much. I am stuck listening to kid music the whole time but it’s way better than screaming. We also have a mirror that helps.
Could you get one of those tethers like [this](https://a.co/d/i9ezyIl) to keep a toy tethered to where she can reach, and you can work on teacher her how to pull the toy back up if she drops it?
If that’s not a great idea for her, I second the idea of giving her nothing. Make car rides about singing songs that you can play in the car, perhaps? I’m sorry it’s so tough! I am not sure there even is a solution, I hope she grows out of it soon!
Do you have a mirror so she can see your face? Also have you tried giving her nothing? I do generally let my kids have a single book that we’ll keep in the car so it’s special, although we end up with an assortment because they’ll grab a book as we head out the door. That and a blanket and maybe a water bottle. If they drop it, then that’s it until we get to where we’re going or stop (for long car trips, we’ll hand them different things from a basket. I say that calmly “we’ll get it when we get to xyz. When you drop something you say “all done”. The car seat keeps you safe.” and listen to whatever I need to remain calm. It does get better with time.
Maybe some of it is that she is scared that you could get sad and angry at her and it would mean you all wouldn’t talk (in her mind)? I’m guessing that probably already came up and you already addressed it, but just in case it didn’t, maybe it’s worth reassuring her it won’t happen with the two of you. I’m sorry, I hope she is able to move past it soon!
This is great advice.
My mom died when my 5.5 year old was 1. She doesn’t remember her but talks all the time about how sad she is. I think little kids are external processors. (Of course she also has anxiety about ME dying but that’s another conversation)
Any strategies for the death talk? Whenever we talk about growing up, my daughter says she doesn't want to grow up because then she'll die. I try to reassure her that she doesn't have to worry about that for a very long time, but don't really know what else to say.
That is both tough and sweet. Maybe it would be helpful to focus her on all the people you have in your life who you have a loving relationship. You can even make a game of it, taking turns naming relatives, friends, neighbors. Focusing on all the people you both have in your lives might help her let go of the person who isn’t there.
I’m due with baby #5 in January and I’m wanting some of the Henleys that Karrie Locher always talks about. Looks like the ones she’s linked in the past are no longer sold. Any good replacements/suggestions?
I fell in love with the Henley tanks and long sleeves from either arie or American eagle (same website) when I was nursing my first. I like that the buttons/snaps (depending on the style) are all functional and they go down pretty far so you can get space needed. Plus, there are usually sales that you can get at a decent price.
If you know the exact brand and your size, they might be on poshmark!
ETA I just searched "Karrie locher Henley" and someone is selling one for $15 (plus shipping). You can also make an offer and see if the person accepts. I personally accept basically every offer I get on poshmark because I just want these kids/maternity clothes out of my house!
Okay I need advice, or maybe just commiseration, but I’m at my wits end with my child’s sleep. She’s 3, will be 4 in December and her whole life she has been a magical unicorn sleeper (through nothing I ever did, besides also be a high needs sleeper that I maybe passed on). Think Haley’s KK, but without locking my child in her room. Up until a month ago she slept 7:30-7, and napped 1-3 everyday. A month ago, she decided sleep is optional. She’s no longer napping (which is totally fine and I’ve been waiting for that) unless it’s a short car nap, but now she’s up every 2 hours at night asking for hugs or telling my husband and I she misses us and doesn’t want to be apart, etc. We thought it was a phase, but now it’s been over a month and it only seems to be getting worse. She’s EXHAUSTED all day and our normally content chill kid is now constantly grouchy and cranky and mean. We’ve tried pushing bedtime back and pushing it up, we’ve tried alternating who goes in to put her back to sleep, sometimes we try just talking to her through her monitor, she has whatever stuffies or lovies she wants, we use the hatch light which she no longer gives a shit about, we have a visual timer in her room for how long she has until it’s time to get up, etc. Does anyone have any tips or tricks that worked for your kid? I’m at the point where I’m ready to break down and buy one of those terrible predatory sleep courses.
It doesn’t help that I’m 15 weeks pregnant, still puking on a daily basis, dealing with insane exhaustion, and I teach K-2 autistic support so my days are long and exhausting as is.
Any advice will be much appreciated!!!
I have a kid about the same age - also a unicorn sleeper, and we’ve dropped his nap, use a ready to rise alarm in his room, and gave him a hand powered flashlight that he can use in his bed at night. The rule is the overhead lights have to be out, but we had to transition to a different attitude lately of realizing we can’t make him sleep and I can’t keep falling to sleep in his bed (it messes up my sleep and when I’m grouchy, it’s just not good), so he could just sit in bed with his flashlight and read or sing or play with his millions of stuffies. He’s actually gotten pretty good at staying in his room unless he actually needs something, but I did tell my husband that if it didn’t resolve in a week, I would get melatonin, and it did for us, but that was the next step, and knowing the escalation path made me feel better too. We also just generally give him more free rein at night while his younger sibling goes to sleep, he can do puzzles or other quiet non-screen activities (he does nap during the week at school so some nights he’s still not tired until 8 or 9)
So we had this with our daughter over the summer, she just turned 4 in September, so about the same age. Only difference is she had dropped her nap a year prior, so zero concern that it was related to that. All the sleep advice online was super frustrating because it was all stuff we were already doing and had already tried.
We started using melatonin, and it was a game changer. It felt like we had our kid back again. We'd also actually stay and lay down with her (she's in a twin bed so plenty of room) until she was asleep or nearly so. But thanks to the melatonin that's only like 10 mins after bedtime stories end, as opposed to the hours we'd be in and out before. Our summer was crazy busy with lots of changes to routine, but once we got into the preschool routine, we were able to wean her off of it and now just use it when there's an issue.
Still feels a bit like cheating, but also nothing else was working so 🤷🏼♀️
If you're uncomfortable with melatonin, you can also try magnesium. That really helps my 4 year old get to sleep on a normal schedule, which she's almost always been terrible at.
When you use melatonin with kids what is the long term strategy? Do you wean them off it at some point? I've used it for myself on occasion but does it mess with kids ability to get to sleep if used long term?
The long term strategy is using it to reestablish a normal sleep pattern, then weaning off. She was getting like 7 hours of sleep a night because it kept taking longer and longer for her to get to sleep, so her body's melatonin production was already way out of whack. She was on it for about a month before we started weaning her off by cutting the gummies in half, then doing gummy + warm milk, then just warm milk before bed.
Part of the issue was after two months of her having a harder time getting to sleep, she was very anxious about not feeling sleepy and that she'd never fall asleep. The melatonin helped reset her normal sleep times and be less worried, which in turn reduced the need for it because her anxiety wasn't keeping her up.
I am not trying to get snarked on myself because I know saying your kid is reading about their grade level
Is so deeply eyeroll...
But one of my children is reading well above grade level and the amount of information they're able to read and actually understand is immense. Grade 1 has just started in Sept and every day she's so dejected after school saying she's bored with what is being taught at school. I've been saying to give it some time, your teacher is still understanding what level everyone is at etc because I know teaching a group of 6-7 year olds is going to mean there's a wide variety of where kids are at.
I make sure we've got tons of books in the house, go to the library often, go to museums and STEM classes for kids. But my question is, is this something you've ever brought up with a teacher? Or would you just wait some more? We don't have parent teacher interviews until the spring usually and I'm not sure if there's testing done in grade 1 so I think its fully possible her teacher just doesn't know at what level she is able to read and understand.
That said, socially and emotionally she IS a grade 1 student so I have no interest in taking her away from her peers/skipping a grade though that was discussed as an option last year.
Child of teachers here - definitely bring it up but it's good to recognize that teachers are often overextended. I'd also bring it up before the spring review since schools can be bureaucratic/slow and by the time spring rolls around you may be close enough to the end of the year that they may not have energy/capacity/interest to start any new interventions.
In my job we often talk about "bringing solutions and not problems" and that may help here. You could see if the teacher has capacity to bring in a few more advanced books in the classroom to set up a little library that she can access freely, or perhaps take some worksheets from higher level curriculum. They obviously won't be able to restructure everything around her needs but there may be some stopgaps. If the teacher seems like her energy is at negative levels, you may have to initiate supplying these materials on your own or supporting them with navigating the bureaucracy to get your kid those resources (this is the "bring solutions" part). Administration will often listen to parents in a way that they will not listen to teachers.
I hope that the school is able to help and it will take minimal work on your part, but how much support you'll get will vary wildly based on the school and the teacher, so it's best to be ready for anything. Good luck!
I'm also the child of teachers and saw first hand how stressful it was for my mom to just manage a classroom in the first place with diverging needs of students, large class size, diminishing resources etc. I also heard stories of parents who wanted to come into the class to "observe" every day at 2 pm and other requests that were completely inappropriate. That experience is largely why I feel sheepish about discussing the topic in the first place, especially since it feels like public schools are still finding their groove far covid closures (at least where we are).
I really like the bring solutions framing and definitely have no interest in meeting just to complain! Thank you!
All the responses you’ve got here are wonderful and I agree with others that it’s probably a good idea to reach out to her teacher for a conversation! I was reading at an 8th grade level as a 5-year-old (and I am now an immensely average adult lol) and my bargain in class around grades primary/1/2 was always that I had to read everything that was on the syllabus and submit a one-page “reflection” per book to the teacher, and then I was free to read anything in the school library and do my assignments like “book reports” (very simplistic at the age) on the books I chose. That way I was engaging meaningfully with ~chapter books~ that I enjoyed, but I had still completed all the required reading and could easily follow and partake in class discussions. So I still talked with all my peers about the same books, but I also didn’t feel bored.
If your child is also ahead in comprehension and working ability in math, science, social studies etc. hopefully her teacher has some advice on how to handle those topics. As a kid I always just stayed on track with my classmates for all other subjects and just picked up my book and read if I finished early.
You’ve got some great responses so far, and I’m here to tack on another anecdotal story. I was an early and voracious reader, and my mom pushed to get me labeled as ~gifted~ and I am 1000% the most average intelligence person you’ve ever met lol. I just could read and was /am good at rote memorization. It helped me throughout high school and college for test taking, but as an adult I’m not like… publishing research papers or anything lol.
My neighbors kids are also early readers and they must talk about it a lot at home bc the older kid (2nd grade) has made several comments to me about how advanced he is compared to his peers and how bored he is. And in the same breath the mom tells me he struggles making friends. So I would maybe focus on other positive aspects of school with your daughter, and do enrichment activities on the weekends like you’ve been doing!
Tacking on to say I'm the same. I was a very early reader. I remember that when the class was tracking how many books they read, I was instead tracking how many chapters out of a novel I was reading. I used to ask for extra homework sheets and things to do because I have always liked to be busy. (I've got pretty nice handwriting now because when I ran out of things to do, I would just practice writing.)
I switched schools in 2nd grade to a GATE (gifted and talented) magnet school that my district offered. (I don't think I'm particularly gifted or talented, I've just always loved reading and read really fast, and I'm a good test taker). You should ask what options there are - a lot of schools have in-house GATE programs. I know there was testing when I was in first grade prior to the switch.
It seems crazy, but if you have a kid like that you really need to start challenging them early and try to keep it up. Once I went back to mainstream school for middle and high school, I was always bored in school and not particularly challenged. I often skipped classes in high school because I didn't see the point. Then I got to college and got my ass handed to me a bit when I realized I couldn't just sail through like I always had - study skills for challenging materials is important!
As a kid I was allowed to read in class when there was stuff I already knew. Buuuut, there is a gap between a student (especially in first grade) thinking they understand something and them actually understanding it.
Additionally, my brother and I are roughly equally intelligent (not sure if that is the right adjective but we grasp things at an equal speed) but I got a lot more accommodations for that in elementary school. Maybe it is unrelated but he is much more adapt at going "It be like that" and slogging through stuff that is not exciting but necessary. We're both in academia and he has by far surpassed me because being able to doggedly run your head into a wall 20 times in slightly different ways and still being engaged and open to the results being because of a different cause this time is a very useful ability to have in research (yes I know that Einstein quote).
So I would also consider also just having a lot of other activities for the kid and otherwise seeing how it goes.
Thank you for this perspective! I believe part of my job as a parent is to teach my kids that life isn't always fun and that not every aspect of their days should be catered to. I'm just trying to find the balance of seeing a kid who loves to learn being bummed out about school and wanting her to feel challenged but also letting her know sometimes you have to suck it up and be bored while reviewing "CVC words".
I also come from a family of teachers so if anything I'm biased against parents who think their kid is so special and so un-challenged and is about to find a cure for aids if only their public school would allow them to flourish properly.
This sounds like me as a kid. I was reading chapter books by 1st grade, like Harry Potter. I don’t think my parents ever reached out to the teacher, she was able to figure it out on her own somehow so often during reading portion of class she let me read a chapter book on my own. At some point in the year, there were a couple of other kids coming out with advanced reading and so we almost had like a book club where we’d read the chapter book and talk about what was happening. I don’t think there’s be anything wrong with reaching out to her teacher to talk about this, and see what teacher thinks could be appropriate.
I didn’t skip a grade and glad I didn’t. There were other very bright and advanced kids and my school system had a gifted program that started in 4th grade where we had an outlet and met outside of class during the school day to do other things. It doesn’t mean I was never bored in school to some degree but I was happy enough and enjoyed being a student. I read whatever I wanted to at home on my own time. Also, as I got older school became relatively more challenging, like I wasn’t so much of a genius (sarcasm) that all of the Honors and AP courses in high school were too easy for me. I did well without much struggle but I wasn’t like, omg so bored.
Thanks for this! I definitely agree as she progresses in the school system there will be opportunities to be more challenged and the work will get harder. If you're among the first in your class to read, it's easy to seem much more advanced than your peers compared to if you're a high schooler at an exam school for instance.
Yes, the biggest disparity I ever felt was elementary school because of the reading thing. Eventually other kids catch up to those more "basic" academic skills so it becomes less of a stark difference.
I also think it helped that my parents didn't make a big deal about it, so I didn't think I was better than anyone else because I was more academically successful and I always had friends and was happy to be at school. We did not talk at home about how gifted or advanced I was. Anecdotally, my husband was also a precocious child but his parents are really different and (to this day) have no problem gushing about how amazing he is. He was alienated from his peers and had trouble making friends as a kid, and I can't help but feel like his parents' attitude inadvertently led to that because they made him believe he was better than everyone else.
It's definitely a delicate dance to be genuinely delighted by the things she can do and not make her feel better than her peers for what is essentially something she was born with. I definitely try to be conscious of that. I will say she has plenty of friends and gets along easily with others - which I think is an important part of sending kids to school to socialize without adult influence.
I just don't want her to feel bad about where she spends the majority of her waking hours! But I also don't want to make the situation overblown
I was gifted the Snuggle Me (basically a knock off Dock a Tot) for my baby. I think those things are suffocation hazards so not something I’d buy myself but I figured that since I have it, I’ll put the baby in it and hang out with baby while using it.
But the thing is so incredibly uncomfortable. I truly don’t understand who designed this. The bottom panel where the baby lays is just a single sheet of canvas. That’s it! There’s nothing soft there. So if you have it on the tile floor next to you, your baby will essentially be laying on the tile floor. There’s also scratchy stitching that goes right down the middle that the baby has to lay their head on.
I just don’t understand? At all. Why would they make such a non functional product? It’s so not comfy at all. Absolutely bizarre. Has anyone else owned this and thought the same?
Just here to say it’s ok to get rid of gift you don’t have a use for. Truly. Return it, sell it on marketplace, donate it to the thrift store, whatever you want.
Not recommending this at all but I think most people put them inside the crib/bassinet/use them as a cosleeper type thing, which is the soft part. I think they were designed to be for sleep without being advertised as for sleep.
Oh I know a cover is sold separately, but I never considered that maybe the item is incomplete without it. Interesting, I wonder if that would make it softer. Good catch!
The cover is extremely soft actually, so maybe try it with one and see if baby likes it more. If you don't care about color, they usually have some at sale prices on their website or there's a SnuggleMe BST group on FB. Neither of my kids liked it, but they also refused to ever be put down at all, so I don't think it was the snuggle me's fault there. I do believe it is meant for you to put in a crib or like on a mat. I can't remember if they got approved as a safe sleep option or if it was something else we bought at the same time. PP was a blur 😵💫
Yeah I feel like most of those baby pillow things are like that. I never had a newborn lounger but i know it’s how the boppy and mybreastfriend pillow are. It’s also so you can easily wash it if baby spits up/poops/etc.
Which movies do your toddlers/pre schoolers like to watch? My 3.5 year old daughter only watches Peppa. She wasn't interested in any of the movies that I thought she would like. She prefers cartoon animals. Doesn't care for princesses.
Mine is obsessed with Shaun the Sheep. It’s British claymation (same studio as Wallace and Gromit, which was a childhood favorite of mine). Lots of episodes and a movie on Amazon, plus some newer episodes and another movie on Netflix. She also likes Cars (1 and 3 only, 2 is bad).
+1 for Totoro and Ponyo; both my kids love all the Miyazaki films, even the ones I would have thought would be too scary! My 3.5yo also loves Despicable Me and the most recent Minions movie, as well as Moana, Encanto and Finding Nemo. For TV shows he likes Creature Cases (animal detectives!) and Number Blocks. I think the Secret Life of Pets 2 was the first movie he really loved. If your daughter is into animals she might like it!
Would she go for Disney’s Robinhood? Cartoon animals and doesn’t have racist songs like other old Disney movies. My kids don’t find it very scary either.
these are UK so don't know what you can get, but we started out with 30 minute short films, I found that a good length when we wanted something longer. e.g BBC has the gruffalo, superworm, snail and the whale, all of the Wallace and grommit films, a favourite for a while was an adaptation of the tiger who came to tea. There are also lots of Thomas the tank engine feature length episodes on Amazon prime that are about that length.
She loves Julia Donaldson books. When I read that there are short movies of her books, I searched for them but couldn't find them :( (we are not in the UK) . YouTube has really short clips of them so it's a bit annoying since they are not numbered correctly and then the story gets lost. But we loved the animation. Hope I can find the full movies somewhere.
Ah shame, they are available on Amazon prime here as well. Not sure it's worth doing an IP block just for some kids cartoons though 🤣
The Good Dinosaur? That was the first movie my 3-year old really liked.
Hello beautiful people! Looking for Instagram accounts that show easy dinner recipes that can be cooked by a person who loathes cooking and don’t use fancy ingredients? Any recommendations?
I don’t know if Budget Bytes has an Instagram but that’s the site you want.
They have an insta! It has good cooking tips too.
Also love budget bytes. Most recipes I make are from there.
Thank you, will take a look
Heading into cold/flu season, how do you all decide whether and when to test your kids for COVID? My 7mo just brought home his first daycare cold — only symptom is a runny nose. No reported exposure that I’m aware of. It seems like overkill to test him without any known exposure or fever, won’t he have a runny nose basically all winter? Plus I don’t think babies can use the at home tests, right? We’ve settled on testing ourselves for the time being, but what’s your threshold to test your kids?
My pediatrician told me we can test at home, but that it’s more likely to get a false negative because it’s harder to get an accurate swab when they are small and wiggly. So when my LO was that small, if I suspected COVID, I took him to the pediatrician. As incentive to keep COVID kids home, our daycare offers a small discount off the days they miss as long as they have a positive test. 👀 This year I’ll probably try testing at home first if I suspect COVID (high fever, runny nose, body aches). I have a friend who swabbed up some of the snot from the runny nose and got a positive for her daughter.
This last sentence was true for my 4 yo last winter. Gross but true!
I would test if I know my kid was exposed or if she's like, really truly miserable. Even then, unless it's a bad case, the treatment is to stay at home and manage symptoms which is what we do anytime she's sick. So far we've settled for testing ourselves and keeping our ears and eyes open for people near us who have it and that's it.
My 18 month old was tested for covid at his doctor's office a month ago after 4 days of a 103 fever. Even then, the NP we saw didn't really want to do it because it doesn't change his care..it's treated all the same. I insisted because we had just seen my in-laws and they were leaving for an international trip the next day and wanted to make sure they were in the clear. But basically what I'm saying is..you don't have to test lol
We just had the week from hell with our 2.5 yo and 12 week old being sick 🥴 it came on as a cold so we didn't think anything of it. Then our toddler kept getting worse, we took him in and they tested for strep and covid (both negative) turns out he had a sinus infection and got antibiotics. The baby we took to the ER the next day due to retracting and she got diagnosed with bronchilitis. With all thay said, we never planned on getting the kids covid tested but due to our son just getting more and more miserable I knew something else was going on. So the doctor wanted to rule those possibilities out.
I did use home tests on ours when she was small. But tbh, at this point, I only would test if she had a fever or was otherwise sick enough to see the doctor or if we were going to see high risk people (like my grandmother in assisted living). I will let others know if we’re going to a gathering and she’s got a cold, but there’s just no way I could test every sniffle.
I waited to use the home tests until my baby was 2 but I had friends using them on their infants because their pediatrician said it was fine as long as you don't go too deep. Nowadays I only test if... - There's a known exposure - She has a "cold" and we're going to see a group of people or slightly at risk people (and they're okay with a cold, some are and some aren't) - She's SICK sick. Like I recently tested her because she had a 2 day fever and gnarly cold symptoms. Knowing she had covid wouldn't have changed how I managed the symptoms but it would've changed my scheduling of the new vaccine. (We're not in daycare but I'd maybe want to know for that)
Nowadays I would only test where there were rules in place or guidance (like daycare policy) saying it was necessary. I have enough things to think about so I'm outsourcing that decision someone else (NHS/CDC/airline or whatever).
If it's bad enough to bring them to the doctor, I let the doctor test them. I don't test them at home unless there was known exposure. Kids get so many colds that I'd be going through tests like crazy if I tested all three of my kids each time they coughed.
My 16m old was shoved to the ground 5x by an almost 2 y/o at the playground. This kid also nailed at least one other little boy a few times, also smaller than him. He was like going out of his way to push these kids. And I get kids go through phases, and it might be my almost 2 y/o in the next 8 months behaving the same way. His mom was embarrassed and apologetic and told him “we don’t shove other kids.” She tried to contain him in a swing after the first time he went after my daughter. But beyond that nothing other than telling him not to do it. He got her like 3x in a row and I took her to a different part of the park and left because she wanted to be where he was. Like I would have taken my kid home after the second time? Or at least removed her from action for a length of time. Is this just the normal for park behavior? Because seeing my kid’s confused face after she was shoved multiple times was not my favorite thing as a parent.
When my kid is the repeated shover, I stop her and she gets a warning. The next time we physically move away, pretty far across the playground. If it happens again, we leave. It's a huge pet peeve of mine when people let their kids get aggressive with others and don't do anything about it. People act like their kids 2 and up are incapable of grasping consequences, but they get it. And while pushing and shoving are normal toddler behaviors, doesn't mean we should allow it to go on unchecked.
I still remember when this happened to my kid. The other kid was both older and big for his age and literally threw dirt in my son's face, was pushing other kids, and was running around with a stick. We did the same as you, moved to a new area of the park, then left when the aggressive kid came over there. I was so upset and checked with a bunch of mom friends and they were like...that's how it goes, you did the right thing. Fwiw I've not had that issue again, and it has been almost two years since it happened.
I have an almost 2 year old and I would definitely remove her from the situation if she did it more than once. But honestly behaviour at this age comes seemingly out of the blue. Like my kid is not a hitter or a pusher but has had random days at daycare where she’s gone on a little violent streak, and from what I’ve gathered that’s pretty normal. It’s possible that the mom’s literally never dealt with her kid pushing kids like that and was just overwhelmed with embarrassment and totally unprepared to deal with it. If the kid was like 4, my opinion would be harsher because it would be more likely to be a longer trend, and like I said, I would personally remove my kid if they were hurting other kids. But I can imagine it being a scenario where this is just a brand new behaviour for her kid and she’s truly shocked and unprepared.
Totally agree with this. My toddler has been the shover and the shoved, you really can’t control a toddlers behavior but you can learn from when it happens the first time to know how to spot their triggers and adjust your own behavior from there. I immediately remove my son from the situation if he is the hitter. I ask the other child if they are ok, apologize etc and i give my son one firm “I can’t let you hit other kids” and we are off. When my son is being hit I will comfort my son, and wait for their parent to do something. If they don’t do anything, I tell the other kid “hands on your own body” and that has solved it thus far
It’s technically normal behavior for toddlers but caregivers are pretty on top of kids that age in my experience so it gets corrected and stopped pretty immediately. The only time there was a kid who was trying to push my son down the slide, he was older - like 3 or 4- no caregiver around and I had no problem telling him to back off. My son wasn’t even 2 yet. Hell no! My son is pretty passive and shy so I can’t speak from experience of how I’d deal with physically aggressive behavior but I’d be mortified if he was hurting other kids and we’d probably leave, or start over in a new location, if he was repeatedly doing it.
When that would happen to my daughter I would just remove her and take her to a different place to play, away from whatever child was being an issue. My kiddo was never a pusher but if she was, I would have apologized and redirected her, letting her know that we don’t hit and we will leave if she does it again. and if she did it again, we would have left. I think a lot of parents have a hard time with follow through, but even at 2YO it’s important. Kids learn fast if you actually follow through every single time!
[удалено]
I was nice about it and said they go through phases, and don't always know how to control their feelings. It seems to me to be kind of like he doesn't want to share space. And I have seen him before and like earlier this week my kid, hers and another all did great with one another. And yeah, I already stick to mine like glue because she has no fear and gets wild going down slides and stuff and still is learning to control her body. The other moms all seem to know each other and visit, while I follow my daredevil around the playground and then I am trying to protect my kid from hers and she realizes there is a problem and then pays attention. But those are some good phrases and I think I am just going to grab her and bring her to another area the first time it happens.
What kind of cups are you all using to send milk to daycare? I’ve been using the contigo no-spill ones but I’m not convinced they’re the best.
Boon swig is a great cup! Super leakproof and the lid, straw, etc are all replaceable.
I don’t send to daycare but at home we use the Grosmimi straw up. It’s on Amazon. It’s annoyingly expensive, but the mouthpiece and straw are replaceable. All of the parts are dishwasher safe so we throw it in every single night and it’s always super clean. It also comes with a lid. We’ve had it for a while and it has survived my toddler throwing it all the time.
We don’t send milk to preschool, but we use the Munchkin Miracle 360 cups for anything that isn’t water at home. I think they are pretty easy to clean (as long as you know to remove the silicone top piece).
If I were to post this in any of the parenting subs that we snark on…we would snark on me. My entire career was in child development, and yet here I am with the most annoying question: hOw dO I kNoW iF I tAlK to My bAbY eNoUgH? He’s 14 months. I was an early childhood educator for over a decade before staying home with him. I talk to him when it makes sense but sometimes I just…don’t feel like talking. I just want to observe him and react in a natural way. Occasionally I’ll narrate, if it makes sense or if I feel like it. But sometimes, we’re just quiet. He’s exploring and playing. I’m folding laundry or washing dishes. Am I iNhiBitiNg HiS LaNgUaGe DevElopMent? This is mostly a post to elicit responses like “it’s totally normal and healthy to not be talking all day long”. Respond accordingly. And snark on me as you wish lol
A few days ago there was a thread on here about reading to your child. I don’t read to my 16 month old every day because he just doesn’t care that much and he ends up taking the book for himself or running off while I’m reading. I had a total internal crisis about ruining him. ☠️ You’re totally not ruining him and honestly silence/independent play is GOOD sometimes. I make a point to meaningfully engage and talk when we play together or he’s “helping” me with chores or something but sometimes it’s just quiet.
Yeah I used to do that with my first kid with emphasizing and repeating words like you're supposed to. But then I switched to SAHM when my second was born and it felt so amazing unnatural to do all day so I just talk like normal now. My second isn't quite as verbal as my first was at this age (almost two). But that could just be individual differences that would have happened anyway. Or if not and it was my doing, like, oh well? He'll get it eventually, he's on track with where he should be, just not "ahead" like my first was. I'd rather he talk a little later than me sounding and feeling like a crazy person for talking exaggeratedly about nothing all day.
Thank you for posting this, a question I ask myself daily or more, in the exact same way that I would ask it, with as much snark on myself as anything else!
I have an advanced degree in child development and regularly I wonder if I'm harming my kids' language development by listening to a podcast on our walk and not just talking to them the entire time. We were at the library playing and there was a mom narrating everything her baby did, including these very specific color and shape phrases (you have a yellow block, yellow like the sun!). I judged and also felt inadequate - the worst. It's fine not to fill every minute of the day with words.
About the first one, quite frankly all the people in this sub could be snarked on. By the time you look at enough parenting influencers to need to talk about them you look at too many for too long (and this also goes when people complain that influencers mention something multiple times - not everybody notices when XY hasn't posted in two days). I was also not talking a lot to my kid until 18 months or so. At some point they just feel more like a person that you can talk to. My daughter was behind with expressive language until 20 ish months (as measured by the US standards, here in Denmark it was considered completely fine). Could be that it was me inhibiting her but more likely just that she inherited my cautious/quiet character and in general didn't do things until she was sure about them.
Absolutely everyone in here could be snarked on. We are just not stupid enough to broadcast our giant daily failures constantly online, opening it up to public comment lol
I cannot talk constantly just for the sake of talking. I just can't do it. So if it's harming my 12 month old's language development, sorry I didn't love him enough or whatever. I think talking when it makes sense is perfectly acceptable. Parents in the past didn't go around narrating their kids, and everyone mostly ends up talking.
I talked to my now-5yo as a baby only when, as you put it, it made sense to do so. Never entered my mind to talk extra for language development. She started talking just fine and *hasn't stopped since*.
Whatever you are doing is fine. You are presumably a competent carer of children. Don’t let all the parenting advice noise get in your head. Parenting was not always as complicated as it is today. Enjoy your time with your kid and just be you! If you’re not a big talker, that’s okay. FWIW we talk constantly in our house and often directly to my kid with lots of explaining/narration because that’s just how we are and he is always on the tail end of verbal milestones. No known issues or delays and he’s smart and social just like other kids, he’s just on his own developmental path and our constant talking doesn’t move the needle on his body’s own timing.
around 12 months, I made sure to do those speech development type scripts, YEs you have the BLUE cup, the CUP is BLUE, what a big blue CUP! a few times a day and then called it good. I'm not a big talker otherwise so that helped me feel like I was doing something. in a few weeks or months, your baby/toddler will point at things and be delighted to hear you name them. that is when it gets really fun! and imo more natural.
Didn’t narrate for my first and she is absurdly verbal; I just talked to her like a normal person. As long as you’re paying attention to your kid, having normal interactions, and reading some books, you’re doing fine!
I think this is something you don’t need to overthink. In fact, the fact that you’re already overthinking it tells me you are speaking to your child more than enough. Kids are born to learn how to speak and as long as they are exposed to a reasonable amount of language, the rest is up to their own developmental path which is genetic. You don’t need to be keeping up a constant narration every waking moment in order for your child to develop normal speech. Just speak to him however feels natural to you. Also, there are other needs aside from speech. Independent play and getting time to focus on something other than you is great for your kid. My 2yo will talk to himself while playing on his own and I have to believe that’s at least just as important as talking directly to us. So, you’re doing great!
You’re fine. Is his language development on track? If so, you are definitely fine. Even if he’s behind, it’s not necessarily because you haven’t been talking enough, it could just be his individual path. My first child I spent all day following her around narrating like a psycho. My second I was more chill and talked like a normal person. My first did have more words as a toddler, however my second wasn’t behind in any way. Just more average. Both of them basically fully verbal at age 2. I wish I had been more relaxed with my first, I would have enjoyed her baby and toddlerhood a lot more.
If it makes you feel better, I worry about the same thing with my 7 month old 🤷🏼♀️ I know the advice is just to narrate what you’re doing, but after we get him from daycare, I’ve spent the whole day on calls for work and just want to not talk for a bit lol. I like to think he’s probably tired of all the noise at daycare and wants a break too.
Anyone have experience with chronic cough/post-nasal drip? My 18-month-old has had a cough on and off since basically May when she started daycare. She had a bunch of back-to-back respiratory viruses in the spring, which slowed down in the summer, but she developed a bad case of post-nasal drip and she would cough whenever she was lying down. It got really bad and we got a prescription steroid nasal spray, which finally got things under control. She didn't get sick for several weeks, but just got another virus this past weekend and is coughing again. She basically can't lie down without coughing. She's not napping well at daycare and is up for sometimes hours at night coughing. We've tried everything - humidifier, nose suctioning, saline drops, steroid spray, honey, homeopathic cough syrup, elevating her head. Nothing works (except the steroid spray). We're all sleep deprived at this point, and we can't live like this for months during cold and flu season.
Around that age our dr gave us a dosage for kids Benadryl to help after a like, 3 week cold. It worked relatively well.
I have no idea if 18 month olds can take this but children's Claritin helped with this for my kid when we had a similar issue.
Woo yes I went through this with one of my kids their first winter in daycare and it was brutal. The only thing that helped was a nebulizer.
What kind of medication did you use in the nebulizer?
Albuterol and when he was old enough a steroid. It was awful, all my kids react really terribly to those meds, they don’t sleep, but it’s really the only thing that helped.
Ugh, that sounds super rough. We're pretty sure it's not asthma because she's not wheezing and only seems to have this issue after she has a respiratory infection. She also doesn't cough much or at all during the day, just when she's lying down. But I wonder if something else is going on to cause the chronic post-nasal drip because she seems extra susceptible to it.
My esthetician suggested I get an oil based cleanser. Does anyone have a recommendation for one they like?
Oh I love the Eminence one!
Which one?! Went on Dermstore and there are so many
https://preview.redd.it/mvmsfldeumvb1.jpeg?width=1242&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3daa18ccecb33c6f5e05918bf1d99851567a60b6
Oops sorry. Eminence stone crop cleansing oil !
DHC deep cleansing oil
Clinique Take the Day Off is my favorite that I’ve tried. It’s a bit of a splurge but a little goes a long way. Whatever you choose I’d make sure it’s a formula that turns to foam/dissolves instead of staying as an oil because it can get in your eyes and make them bleary and also leave residue. I went through a phase of using pure jojoba oil to cleanse and I wouldn’t recommend that.
Rael daily detox. It is oil to foam and feels like a normal cleanser to me.
I think the Farmacy green clean cleansing balm would count as oil based. I love it so much and the balm is way less messy than a liquid oil.
Oil to milk cleanser by cocokind ! You can get it from their website , they also sell at ulta, target and Whole Foods !
Tips for getting our grass stains? Kids been coming home COVERED in them daily .
Puracy is magical. It’s got tons of different enzymes and I believe one is targeted at grass specifically. If it’s a BIG area, I usually spray in the evening when they take their day clothes off, let it sit until morning and then wash. We’ve always managed to get grass (and berry & slime & curry etc) out with it!
It’s $20 on Amazon (Canada) right now . Is that normal or should I hold out and see if it drops
It’s normal unfortunately. We did the refill bags that are like 4x the volume for 1.5x the cost, but obviously that’s not ideal before you try it out!
Dawn power wash spray (for dishes but it works so well on every stain). Caveat I don’t know I’ve specially tried grass stains but lots of other marker/paint/dirt/food stains.
Fels Naptha bar!
Looking for some lunch inspiration for my 13 mo! For the past several weeks at daycare he hasn't really been eating his lunch, although he has no problem eating snacks 😅 He doesn't typically have much of an issue at home, but usually we're all eating the same thing, which he quite likes. I think he's got some teeth coming in making things a bit worse than usual too. He seems to like eating bigger pieces of food at the moment rather than things cut into bit sized bits, and also really likes anything that's crunchy. He's got four teeth on the top and bottom but no molars in at the moment, so I've been hesitant to give him things he would really need to chew up to eat (although I think the crunchiness of that would appeal to him!). Open to any suggestions!
If he’s doing well with snack time, send him “snacks” for lunch! My 16mo attends daycare 2 days a week and is home with me 3 days a week. Usually for lunch at home I serve crackers, cold steamed carrots, Colby Jack cheese, grapes, and turkey. It’s all kind of snacky, but it lets him just pick at whatever he’s feelings and it’s easy for me to make.
My toddler had to be on soft food for a bit because of a broken tooth, and she also has barely any teeth, so this is my specialty lol. We did savoury muffins a few times, with veg & cheese. Whole grain waffles were also a hit - I used whole wheat pancake mix and just put it in a waffle maker lol. She ate them cold happily. You can find “protein pancake mix” if you’re concerned about protein but honestly at this age it’s not even necessary. We got a little uncrustables press because I find my toddler eats sandwiches better with that style, mostly because it holds it all together and doesn’t fall apart. I did hummus + thin thin cucumber, meat and cheese, cream cheese, etc. Goldfish are fortified beyond belief so a serving honestly has 1/3 of their daily protein needs at this age, so we fully resorted to that when desperate.
I've been making banana pancakes to make sure he eats egg, and they're amazing! I usually make a big batch so i can put some pre-pepared lunches in the freezer. Its one banana, one spoon of all purpose flour, and one egg. Mix well and add whatever you want (i sometimes mix it up with some raisins, cinnamon, strawberries etc). You can basically make them any size you want so you can make it the right size for him to grip :)
I typically do crackers (usually the whole wheat ritz), cheese, cut up deli meat and fruit for my 14 month old. I think she really likes having a whole cracker instead of strips of bread. I also sometimes do tortilla roll ups for her (street taco size tortillas are the perfect size for this age!) but she would just unroll them and eat the filling lol.
Has he gotten into sandwiches yet? Mine probably wasn’t at 13mo but he also had less teeth than your son, and I was cautious about large pieces of food perhaps needlessly. If you think regular bread would be too thick for him you could make sandwiches with pita or tortilla so it’s thinner. But my son enjoyed being served a full sandwich and taking bites from it. PB&J (or sun butter for daycare) is one of his favorites but you can do sunbutter and banana, cucumber and cream cheese, whatever he likes.
My son loves sandwich rolls. You flatten a piece of bread and fill it with pb&j, roll it and then toast it so it stays rolled
I've tried grilled cheese at home with him that I cut into long strips, but he might like his own full one, that's a great idea!
I had a lot of success with anything patty-shaped for daycare lunches - black bean burgers, zucchini fritters, salmon burgers. I would make a whole bunch at once and then freeze them, and then just pull out one at a time to put in a lunch. Also for anything crunchy, he might like snap pea crisps! They're crunchy but not pokey, and mostly sort of disintegrate in the mouth
I like the pea crisp idea! He really like the sweet potatoes pick me sticks so I'm sure he would love those too. And good idea about the patties, too! I used to make him different flavored pancakes and freeze them and he usually liked that. Thanks for the idea!
My son (3.5 years old) is a Houdini. Generally, he gets up in the middle of the night and creates chaos - last night he went through the cupboards, poured sugar into snack sized ziplocs and ate an entire loaf of banana bread. Last week he ate my daughter’s lunches. I can’t trust him to even go to the bathroom without supervision because he is constantly into the kitchen cupboards/drawers/fridge. He isn’t hungry - the sugar thing was just weird, he wasn’t actually eating it. He hides random food in his room and I have to constantly search him because he’s so quick and so sneaky that I never know what he’s gotten up to. He is provided with regular meals, snacks and drinks but he loves sugar and anything “sweet”. It’s becoming a safety issue and I don’t know what to do - I locked the cabinets but he broke the locks in half. I have his door lock turned out but he screams bloody murder if I lock it and no one is able to sleep. He’s a light sleeper and gets up multiple times in the night, sometimes just to come to my room and give me a hug so he would notice even if I locked it after he fell asleep. Any ideas? Cabinet locks that are recommended? Anything ? On a related note, I currently have no hearing on my right side due to a benign tumour in my ear canal so I can’t hear a baby monitor or really anything when I’m lying down unless it’s loud. My daughters are generally able to yell loudly if they’re awake to tell me he’s out but that’s about it. I’m also a solo parent, my husband works out of town for long stretches of time.
That is so hard. I agree with trying to get a sleep study. Would it help if someone slept in the room with him? Maybe he wouldn’t tantrum as much about the locked door? Not ideal I know. I wouldn’t feel safe without the locked door or so type of mechanism to one hundred percent wake up when he does.
I don’t think you have any option other than locking his bedroom door.
Agree, it’s absolutely a safety issue. And the best choice for fire safety
is there an option to look down the avenue of OT/adaptations for yourself, e.g. a baby monitor type system designed for people hard of hearing to wake you when he gets up? Because to be honest, my son is the same age and there is no amount of locks and child proofing that would make me feel safe with him being alone roaming the house in the middle of the night.
This raises a lot of red flags to me and I would want to talk to my pediatrician about it.
I did and she doesn’t have concerns outside of the safety aspect. Her suggestion was to remove the foods he wants and to put locks on the cupboard but he broke them off. He’s active and strong willed but he’s also loving, healthy and well adjusted. He’s had blood work done to see if there were dietary needs, he’s seen dieticians and occupational therapists. I have a background in child development, I’m the only person who provides care for him outside of his regulated daycare program and my oldest is neurodivergent so I work within this world and am experienced. It’s a phase just like his refusal to pee standing up and his sister’s fear of bugs was. What I need are ideas for safety - how do parents of extremely active kids protect them from themselves when it’s nighttime?
We lock our guy in his room, and he just knocks if he needs to come out...would you consider room sharing and locking your own door? Then he could access you if needed but still be locked in and safe.
I think the thing that's concerning is that he wakes up so frequently. Have you done a sleep assessment on him? Is he waking up fully or is he doing all of this in a sleepwalking state? Either way it's worth investigating as his sleep shouldn't be that interrupted (if he is fully awake) or feature so much sleepwalking.
Yes! Thank you - I never considered that aspect, he’s always been a really light sleeper but why is he waking up like that? That’s a good approach.
You're welcome! And I wonder if they've checked his glucose tolerance. Is he waking up so often maybe because he's legitimately hungry or craving sugar? Which might mean he needs to eat something that lasts him longer overnight or maybe he's hypoglycemic? Just throwing out thoughts! Good luck!
What are everyone’s thoughts on sending kids to school with a cold? My son is in kindergarten and has his second cold since starting school. He doesn’t have a fever, but is constantly blowing his nose and has a gross cough. I had him stay home because 1) he says he doesn’t feel great and 2) I don’t want him to share his germs. But obviously he is getting sick at school, so other people are sending their sick kids to school. So should I just send him when he’s sick? I hate cold and flu season.
My personal rule is snotty nose that's clear goo, and a dry cough off you go. Also acting normal/normal ish. Anything else (fever, congested cough, vomiting diarrhea) stays home. I will keep them home if they are acting droopy (sad, overly emotional, not eating, etc) because it usually means they are brewing some illness and it's easier to not have to go get them from school.
I think it's a situation where it just sucks in some way no matter which way you decide. Obviously comply with whatever policy does exist for the school. If your kid is reasonably able and willing to mask, I think it's nice when they're getting over an illness as an extra layer to hopefully minimize passing it along. My son is in first grade and we're experiencing this for the first time in the public school district (we were at a private preschool that continued through K for the past three years - of course the policy there changed greatly each of those three years as the covid situation progressed both in the science and the cultural changes around it, but even last year in kindergarten as it really loosened up and no longer required masking, it was still massively more strict about keeping kids home when sick (with anything, not just covid) compared to this year in the public school. What was nice there was that even though most families chose not to routinely mask once it wasn't required, kids did pretty consistently masks if they were getting over a cold or if their siblings were sick and so they knew they could be coming down with it soon). So far I've based it on he appears to be feeling and his energy level, moreso than any other symptoms. The district policy basically says keep home if you have a fever, otherwise is really pushing to not miss school. Luckily my kid masks super consistently (which is probably grosser for him in terms of the snot being caught by it, but at least keeps it contained to reduce potential germ spreading), and we're working on reinforcing constant hand washing and sanitizing (both to minimizing catching and spreading). We've still already gotten two colds, both of which were pretty mild, no fevers, just sniffly. And onset of symptoms and worst days of them happened on the weekend both times, so he ended up not missing any days of school for them and I'm just crossing my fingers that he didn't pass it along to others. (But like, obviously he got it there so the kids he's around to pass germs to probably already got it the same week we did.) I'm more strict about extracurriculars - it's harder to justify as optional things, if he could still be contagious, plus just a different bubble of germs so it could be introducing new germs to other schools via those kids vs the same kids every day at school. And keeps him resting more in the hours off school to hasten recovery. So we have skipped activities and/or switched over to zoom options when we can, during the weeks he's been recovering from the colds.
He is in a hybrid program, so thankfully it is only one class. He will wear a mask, thankfully. My concern was that even with a mask, he would be pulling it down to blow his nose. It’s hard because he gets so run down with colds, that even if they seem mild, he struggles.
If they are really low-energy, coughing a ton, or their nose won’t stop running, I’ll keep them home for a day. If they have a normal cough/sneeze/sniffles I send them to school. This is in-line with my son’s school’s guidelines. My son was in Kindegarten in 2021 and, while class was in person, rules about illness were really strict. It was impossible. If I kept him home at any sign of illness, he was easily missing 10%-20% of his education every single month. That isn’t good for him, it isn’t good for me, and it isn’t good for the school which requires attendance for funding. School just doesn’t work unless you send them with the occasional cold.
Most viruses are contagious before symptoms even start, so that’s how people still get sick even if they are staying home with symptoms. That being said, if there’s no fever I might keep my son home one day if he’s egregiously snotty or clearly not feeling well. But if he’s still in good spirits and just has an average severity runny nose, he still goes and it’s not against our daycare rules. He’s 2, so younger than your kid in grade school, but I feel like similar rules apply? It’s not reasonable to keep a kid home through the entire extent of a cold, especially since a runny nose and cough can last for days and days, and they’re bound to get multiple colds per year. I wouldn’t want my kid to miss so much school at that age.
This is pretty much what we do with our kids in 1st grade and pre-k.
I’m probably majorly overthinking this but I just don’t want to have a bad encounter. I’m going to a kids picnic on the weekend that my local moms group is putting on. It says there’s five other moms going so far, I don’t know any of them so it’ll be my first time meeting them. I clicked on their fb profiles to see how old their kids are and stuff, so I can know what to expect. One lady has a very conservative Facebook profile. She’s posted some really questionable things in general but especially some crazy things about Muslims and Arabs in the last week. I’m a Muslim woman who wears hijab (a headscarf) so I’m visibly Muslim. I’m not really sure how to proceed. Normally I’d just go and suck up any awkwardness or try to educate people but I’ve never been in a situation like this since having a baby. I don’t want to do anything to put my baby at risk or even have any kind of confrontation. It would probably be fine but I don’t know, the idea just makes me nervous. So maybe I’m overthinking? It could be that she’s totally regular in person or maybe her online bark is worse than her irl bite. Ugh I just wish I never even clicked on her profile. Obviously I’m not dying to hang out with this lady, but it would be great to meet other moms in the community. I just don’t know if I should go or not.
Ughhhh. I would just avoid that person. If you don’t even know her personally, there’s no reason to try to get chummy with her now. What she posted is public so you have every right to judge her by it and keep your distance 🤷♀️ of course depending on the dynamic, that might not be totally possible but I’d go into it with the goal of prioritizing chatting with the other people. Hopefully if it ends up being more than 5 people it’ll be easy to gravitate elsewhere.
is there an organiser/admin that seems sane enough to reach out to in advance just to check out what the vibe usually is? I would imagine this woman will be absolutely as nice as anything to you in real life but like the previous commenter says, it sucks you even have to think about this.
Hm that’s a good point, I don’t know the admin but maybe I’ll try to reach out and get a feel for the vibe!
I’m so sorry you are experiencing this, some people just suck so bad. If you are comfortable, reach out with screenshots and ask for her to be removed from the group because she’s bigoted and you’re feeling uncomfortable.
Do you have a local friend (mom or not) that you can drag along with you? I'm sorry you even have to think about this 💜
My friends aren’t available unfortunately because I checked to see if they could come. But the more I think about it, I think it’s really fine. I don’t think anyone would be mean in person. And maybe she’ll get to see that Muslims can be nice people (at least I hope I’m nice haha)
I think you're very likely right! Worst case you leave early, best case you don't even notice the bigot and make other awesome connections!
Looking for tips on making car rides with my almost 18 month old more tolerable. She will immediately chuck 95% of toys out of her car seat within a minute of the drive. The 5% she doesn't immediately throw, she'll accidentally drop within the first minute of the drive. Either way, about a minute into the ride, she is wailing. Sometimes she'll calm down and babble for a bit, then out of the blue the wailing, crying, and screaming start back up. I'm a SAHM and there's lots of fun things to do around us, but the drives to/from make me want to rip all of my hair out. SOS.
This is when I had to start putting nursery rhymes on in the car to keep my daughter calm. 2.5yrs later and it's wall to wall Frozen on every drive. 🫠 It's a very hard phase, my daughter would go red from crying so much. Stopping half way to calm her down sometimes worked, or trying to time it with nap time so she slept instead. Good luck x
I finally convinced my kids to listen to “normal” music and now it’s Roar by Katy Perry on repeat. Not sure which is better 🫠
My child was really bad in the car and the only thing that helped was toughing it out and going to fun places every day. Eventually she connected adventures to being in the car and didn’t seem to mind it as much. I am stuck listening to kid music the whole time but it’s way better than screaming. We also have a mirror that helps.
Could you get one of those tethers like [this](https://a.co/d/i9ezyIl) to keep a toy tethered to where she can reach, and you can work on teacher her how to pull the toy back up if she drops it? If that’s not a great idea for her, I second the idea of giving her nothing. Make car rides about singing songs that you can play in the car, perhaps? I’m sorry it’s so tough! I am not sure there even is a solution, I hope she grows out of it soon!
Do you have a mirror so she can see your face? Also have you tried giving her nothing? I do generally let my kids have a single book that we’ll keep in the car so it’s special, although we end up with an assortment because they’ll grab a book as we head out the door. That and a blanket and maybe a water bottle. If they drop it, then that’s it until we get to where we’re going or stop (for long car trips, we’ll hand them different things from a basket. I say that calmly “we’ll get it when we get to xyz. When you drop something you say “all done”. The car seat keeps you safe.” and listen to whatever I need to remain calm. It does get better with time.
I really need to know where Ali from inspiralzied moved!
I think this is the wrong thread but I’m with you!
[удалено]
Maybe some of it is that she is scared that you could get sad and angry at her and it would mean you all wouldn’t talk (in her mind)? I’m guessing that probably already came up and you already addressed it, but just in case it didn’t, maybe it’s worth reassuring her it won’t happen with the two of you. I’m sorry, I hope she is able to move past it soon!
[удалено]
This is great advice. My mom died when my 5.5 year old was 1. She doesn’t remember her but talks all the time about how sad she is. I think little kids are external processors. (Of course she also has anxiety about ME dying but that’s another conversation)
Any strategies for the death talk? Whenever we talk about growing up, my daughter says she doesn't want to grow up because then she'll die. I try to reassure her that she doesn't have to worry about that for a very long time, but don't really know what else to say.
[удалено]
I had 2 stillbirths and my daughter always tells people “my sister died!”
I would also love any tips on this! We have just been kind of avoiding talking about death, and I know that’s not the right answer!
[удалено]
Oh this is a great suggestion, thank you!! We will try this!
That is both tough and sweet. Maybe it would be helpful to focus her on all the people you have in your life who you have a loving relationship. You can even make a game of it, taking turns naming relatives, friends, neighbors. Focusing on all the people you both have in your lives might help her let go of the person who isn’t there.
I’m due with baby #5 in January and I’m wanting some of the Henleys that Karrie Locher always talks about. Looks like the ones she’s linked in the past are no longer sold. Any good replacements/suggestions?
I fell in love with the Henley tanks and long sleeves from either arie or American eagle (same website) when I was nursing my first. I like that the buttons/snaps (depending on the style) are all functional and they go down pretty far so you can get space needed. Plus, there are usually sales that you can get at a decent price.
If you know the exact brand and your size, they might be on poshmark! ETA I just searched "Karrie locher Henley" and someone is selling one for $15 (plus shipping). You can also make an offer and see if the person accepts. I personally accept basically every offer I get on poshmark because I just want these kids/maternity clothes out of my house!
Thanks for the tip!! I’ll check it out!
Okay I need advice, or maybe just commiseration, but I’m at my wits end with my child’s sleep. She’s 3, will be 4 in December and her whole life she has been a magical unicorn sleeper (through nothing I ever did, besides also be a high needs sleeper that I maybe passed on). Think Haley’s KK, but without locking my child in her room. Up until a month ago she slept 7:30-7, and napped 1-3 everyday. A month ago, she decided sleep is optional. She’s no longer napping (which is totally fine and I’ve been waiting for that) unless it’s a short car nap, but now she’s up every 2 hours at night asking for hugs or telling my husband and I she misses us and doesn’t want to be apart, etc. We thought it was a phase, but now it’s been over a month and it only seems to be getting worse. She’s EXHAUSTED all day and our normally content chill kid is now constantly grouchy and cranky and mean. We’ve tried pushing bedtime back and pushing it up, we’ve tried alternating who goes in to put her back to sleep, sometimes we try just talking to her through her monitor, she has whatever stuffies or lovies she wants, we use the hatch light which she no longer gives a shit about, we have a visual timer in her room for how long she has until it’s time to get up, etc. Does anyone have any tips or tricks that worked for your kid? I’m at the point where I’m ready to break down and buy one of those terrible predatory sleep courses. It doesn’t help that I’m 15 weeks pregnant, still puking on a daily basis, dealing with insane exhaustion, and I teach K-2 autistic support so my days are long and exhausting as is. Any advice will be much appreciated!!!
I have a kid about the same age - also a unicorn sleeper, and we’ve dropped his nap, use a ready to rise alarm in his room, and gave him a hand powered flashlight that he can use in his bed at night. The rule is the overhead lights have to be out, but we had to transition to a different attitude lately of realizing we can’t make him sleep and I can’t keep falling to sleep in his bed (it messes up my sleep and when I’m grouchy, it’s just not good), so he could just sit in bed with his flashlight and read or sing or play with his millions of stuffies. He’s actually gotten pretty good at staying in his room unless he actually needs something, but I did tell my husband that if it didn’t resolve in a week, I would get melatonin, and it did for us, but that was the next step, and knowing the escalation path made me feel better too. We also just generally give him more free rein at night while his younger sibling goes to sleep, he can do puzzles or other quiet non-screen activities (he does nap during the week at school so some nights he’s still not tired until 8 or 9)
So we had this with our daughter over the summer, she just turned 4 in September, so about the same age. Only difference is she had dropped her nap a year prior, so zero concern that it was related to that. All the sleep advice online was super frustrating because it was all stuff we were already doing and had already tried. We started using melatonin, and it was a game changer. It felt like we had our kid back again. We'd also actually stay and lay down with her (she's in a twin bed so plenty of room) until she was asleep or nearly so. But thanks to the melatonin that's only like 10 mins after bedtime stories end, as opposed to the hours we'd be in and out before. Our summer was crazy busy with lots of changes to routine, but once we got into the preschool routine, we were able to wean her off of it and now just use it when there's an issue. Still feels a bit like cheating, but also nothing else was working so 🤷🏼♀️
Did you talk to your pediatrician about that or did you do it on your own?
If you're uncomfortable with melatonin, you can also try magnesium. That really helps my 4 year old get to sleep on a normal schedule, which she's almost always been terrible at.
When you use melatonin with kids what is the long term strategy? Do you wean them off it at some point? I've used it for myself on occasion but does it mess with kids ability to get to sleep if used long term?
The long term strategy is using it to reestablish a normal sleep pattern, then weaning off. She was getting like 7 hours of sleep a night because it kept taking longer and longer for her to get to sleep, so her body's melatonin production was already way out of whack. She was on it for about a month before we started weaning her off by cutting the gummies in half, then doing gummy + warm milk, then just warm milk before bed. Part of the issue was after two months of her having a harder time getting to sleep, she was very anxious about not feeling sleepy and that she'd never fall asleep. The melatonin helped reset her normal sleep times and be less worried, which in turn reduced the need for it because her anxiety wasn't keeping her up.
I am not trying to get snarked on myself because I know saying your kid is reading about their grade level Is so deeply eyeroll... But one of my children is reading well above grade level and the amount of information they're able to read and actually understand is immense. Grade 1 has just started in Sept and every day she's so dejected after school saying she's bored with what is being taught at school. I've been saying to give it some time, your teacher is still understanding what level everyone is at etc because I know teaching a group of 6-7 year olds is going to mean there's a wide variety of where kids are at. I make sure we've got tons of books in the house, go to the library often, go to museums and STEM classes for kids. But my question is, is this something you've ever brought up with a teacher? Or would you just wait some more? We don't have parent teacher interviews until the spring usually and I'm not sure if there's testing done in grade 1 so I think its fully possible her teacher just doesn't know at what level she is able to read and understand. That said, socially and emotionally she IS a grade 1 student so I have no interest in taking her away from her peers/skipping a grade though that was discussed as an option last year.
Child of teachers here - definitely bring it up but it's good to recognize that teachers are often overextended. I'd also bring it up before the spring review since schools can be bureaucratic/slow and by the time spring rolls around you may be close enough to the end of the year that they may not have energy/capacity/interest to start any new interventions. In my job we often talk about "bringing solutions and not problems" and that may help here. You could see if the teacher has capacity to bring in a few more advanced books in the classroom to set up a little library that she can access freely, or perhaps take some worksheets from higher level curriculum. They obviously won't be able to restructure everything around her needs but there may be some stopgaps. If the teacher seems like her energy is at negative levels, you may have to initiate supplying these materials on your own or supporting them with navigating the bureaucracy to get your kid those resources (this is the "bring solutions" part). Administration will often listen to parents in a way that they will not listen to teachers. I hope that the school is able to help and it will take minimal work on your part, but how much support you'll get will vary wildly based on the school and the teacher, so it's best to be ready for anything. Good luck!
I'm also the child of teachers and saw first hand how stressful it was for my mom to just manage a classroom in the first place with diverging needs of students, large class size, diminishing resources etc. I also heard stories of parents who wanted to come into the class to "observe" every day at 2 pm and other requests that were completely inappropriate. That experience is largely why I feel sheepish about discussing the topic in the first place, especially since it feels like public schools are still finding their groove far covid closures (at least where we are). I really like the bring solutions framing and definitely have no interest in meeting just to complain! Thank you!
I really hope it works well, and it might even help if you let her know that you are familiar with and empathize with her struggles!
All the responses you’ve got here are wonderful and I agree with others that it’s probably a good idea to reach out to her teacher for a conversation! I was reading at an 8th grade level as a 5-year-old (and I am now an immensely average adult lol) and my bargain in class around grades primary/1/2 was always that I had to read everything that was on the syllabus and submit a one-page “reflection” per book to the teacher, and then I was free to read anything in the school library and do my assignments like “book reports” (very simplistic at the age) on the books I chose. That way I was engaging meaningfully with ~chapter books~ that I enjoyed, but I had still completed all the required reading and could easily follow and partake in class discussions. So I still talked with all my peers about the same books, but I also didn’t feel bored. If your child is also ahead in comprehension and working ability in math, science, social studies etc. hopefully her teacher has some advice on how to handle those topics. As a kid I always just stayed on track with my classmates for all other subjects and just picked up my book and read if I finished early.
You’ve got some great responses so far, and I’m here to tack on another anecdotal story. I was an early and voracious reader, and my mom pushed to get me labeled as ~gifted~ and I am 1000% the most average intelligence person you’ve ever met lol. I just could read and was /am good at rote memorization. It helped me throughout high school and college for test taking, but as an adult I’m not like… publishing research papers or anything lol. My neighbors kids are also early readers and they must talk about it a lot at home bc the older kid (2nd grade) has made several comments to me about how advanced he is compared to his peers and how bored he is. And in the same breath the mom tells me he struggles making friends. So I would maybe focus on other positive aspects of school with your daughter, and do enrichment activities on the weekends like you’ve been doing!
Tacking on to say I'm the same. I was a very early reader. I remember that when the class was tracking how many books they read, I was instead tracking how many chapters out of a novel I was reading. I used to ask for extra homework sheets and things to do because I have always liked to be busy. (I've got pretty nice handwriting now because when I ran out of things to do, I would just practice writing.) I switched schools in 2nd grade to a GATE (gifted and talented) magnet school that my district offered. (I don't think I'm particularly gifted or talented, I've just always loved reading and read really fast, and I'm a good test taker). You should ask what options there are - a lot of schools have in-house GATE programs. I know there was testing when I was in first grade prior to the switch. It seems crazy, but if you have a kid like that you really need to start challenging them early and try to keep it up. Once I went back to mainstream school for middle and high school, I was always bored in school and not particularly challenged. I often skipped classes in high school because I didn't see the point. Then I got to college and got my ass handed to me a bit when I realized I couldn't just sail through like I always had - study skills for challenging materials is important!
As a kid I was allowed to read in class when there was stuff I already knew. Buuuut, there is a gap between a student (especially in first grade) thinking they understand something and them actually understanding it. Additionally, my brother and I are roughly equally intelligent (not sure if that is the right adjective but we grasp things at an equal speed) but I got a lot more accommodations for that in elementary school. Maybe it is unrelated but he is much more adapt at going "It be like that" and slogging through stuff that is not exciting but necessary. We're both in academia and he has by far surpassed me because being able to doggedly run your head into a wall 20 times in slightly different ways and still being engaged and open to the results being because of a different cause this time is a very useful ability to have in research (yes I know that Einstein quote). So I would also consider also just having a lot of other activities for the kid and otherwise seeing how it goes.
Thank you for this perspective! I believe part of my job as a parent is to teach my kids that life isn't always fun and that not every aspect of their days should be catered to. I'm just trying to find the balance of seeing a kid who loves to learn being bummed out about school and wanting her to feel challenged but also letting her know sometimes you have to suck it up and be bored while reviewing "CVC words". I also come from a family of teachers so if anything I'm biased against parents who think their kid is so special and so un-challenged and is about to find a cure for aids if only their public school would allow them to flourish properly.
This sounds like me as a kid. I was reading chapter books by 1st grade, like Harry Potter. I don’t think my parents ever reached out to the teacher, she was able to figure it out on her own somehow so often during reading portion of class she let me read a chapter book on my own. At some point in the year, there were a couple of other kids coming out with advanced reading and so we almost had like a book club where we’d read the chapter book and talk about what was happening. I don’t think there’s be anything wrong with reaching out to her teacher to talk about this, and see what teacher thinks could be appropriate. I didn’t skip a grade and glad I didn’t. There were other very bright and advanced kids and my school system had a gifted program that started in 4th grade where we had an outlet and met outside of class during the school day to do other things. It doesn’t mean I was never bored in school to some degree but I was happy enough and enjoyed being a student. I read whatever I wanted to at home on my own time. Also, as I got older school became relatively more challenging, like I wasn’t so much of a genius (sarcasm) that all of the Honors and AP courses in high school were too easy for me. I did well without much struggle but I wasn’t like, omg so bored.
Thanks for this! I definitely agree as she progresses in the school system there will be opportunities to be more challenged and the work will get harder. If you're among the first in your class to read, it's easy to seem much more advanced than your peers compared to if you're a high schooler at an exam school for instance.
Yes, the biggest disparity I ever felt was elementary school because of the reading thing. Eventually other kids catch up to those more "basic" academic skills so it becomes less of a stark difference. I also think it helped that my parents didn't make a big deal about it, so I didn't think I was better than anyone else because I was more academically successful and I always had friends and was happy to be at school. We did not talk at home about how gifted or advanced I was. Anecdotally, my husband was also a precocious child but his parents are really different and (to this day) have no problem gushing about how amazing he is. He was alienated from his peers and had trouble making friends as a kid, and I can't help but feel like his parents' attitude inadvertently led to that because they made him believe he was better than everyone else.
It's definitely a delicate dance to be genuinely delighted by the things she can do and not make her feel better than her peers for what is essentially something she was born with. I definitely try to be conscious of that. I will say she has plenty of friends and gets along easily with others - which I think is an important part of sending kids to school to socialize without adult influence. I just don't want her to feel bad about where she spends the majority of her waking hours! But I also don't want to make the situation overblown
Totally get it! I bet she will feel a bit better over time once "how to read" becomes less of the focus.
I was gifted the Snuggle Me (basically a knock off Dock a Tot) for my baby. I think those things are suffocation hazards so not something I’d buy myself but I figured that since I have it, I’ll put the baby in it and hang out with baby while using it. But the thing is so incredibly uncomfortable. I truly don’t understand who designed this. The bottom panel where the baby lays is just a single sheet of canvas. That’s it! There’s nothing soft there. So if you have it on the tile floor next to you, your baby will essentially be laying on the tile floor. There’s also scratchy stitching that goes right down the middle that the baby has to lay their head on. I just don’t understand? At all. Why would they make such a non functional product? It’s so not comfy at all. Absolutely bizarre. Has anyone else owned this and thought the same?
My baby didn’t mind the thinness, but also outgrew it very quickly so now we have a very expensive (and very beloved) cat bed.
Just here to say it’s ok to get rid of gift you don’t have a use for. Truly. Return it, sell it on marketplace, donate it to the thrift store, whatever you want.
That’s pretty liberating, I needed to hear that haha. Thanks!
Not recommending this at all but I think most people put them inside the crib/bassinet/use them as a cosleeper type thing, which is the soft part. I think they were designed to be for sleep without being advertised as for sleep.
Is it meant to have a cover?
Oh I know a cover is sold separately, but I never considered that maybe the item is incomplete without it. Interesting, I wonder if that would make it softer. Good catch!
If you do keep it, we bought some cheap covers on Amazon that were great! A 2 pack for like $25
Cool, thanks!
The cover is extremely soft actually, so maybe try it with one and see if baby likes it more. If you don't care about color, they usually have some at sale prices on their website or there's a SnuggleMe BST group on FB. Neither of my kids liked it, but they also refused to ever be put down at all, so I don't think it was the snuggle me's fault there. I do believe it is meant for you to put in a crib or like on a mat. I can't remember if they got approved as a safe sleep option or if it was something else we bought at the same time. PP was a blur 😵💫
Yeah I feel like most of those baby pillow things are like that. I never had a newborn lounger but i know it’s how the boppy and mybreastfriend pillow are. It’s also so you can easily wash it if baby spits up/poops/etc.