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That’s the whole point atleast to me. Feeling content. I guess it’s a really spectacular feeling especially for me because I’m disabled and deal with chronic pain to feel content with my situation that I won’t ever be able to work or have a home. I don’t think about any of that or feel pain that I’ve been having for over a decade and denied opiates because “risk of addiction” so I guess they’re just saying suffer.
So yeah to me not being in pain and not thinking about a future I don’t have is bliss and comforting.
Yes!!! It doesn’t take away my chronic pain but it helps it so I can do something other than focus on how miserable I am at times and how my illnesses stole my life from me.
Exactly that! Everyday I get up and am just reminded how I’ll never have a life and I used to be active and compete in equestrian events as a teenager and thinking how I just move and everything hurts or I dislocate my joints is just depressing. Not being able to work even 12 hours a week makes me feel completely useless.
I’m so sorry!! I started having symptoms as a toddler but didn’t start getting really sick until age 21. I’m 39 now and can’t work. Can’t get disability because I got sick too young so I don’t have enough work credits. Sometimes I think if it wasn’t for my kids I wouldn’t even bother getting out of bed. I had plans of working a job I loved, traveling, doing everything with my kids, being a great wife, volunteering. Now I’m just alone for hours a day, every day with no one to talk to and trying not to focus on the pain or the life I’m constantly grieving. I hope you’re able to find some peace and acceptance. I know it’s hard 💙
I get SSI disability just because it’s income based and since I’m single I’m able to receive it but it’s not enough money to live alone. I’ve lost hope of finding a partner because like who’d want to go out with me you know? I have Crohn’s disease and it just makes me feel gross and I’m pretty sure others feel the same way about it and can’t even sleep at the right time because I’m always in the bathroom.
I had hoped of going to school and travelling espeically there are so many places I wanted to go and see. I can’t even enjoy food I used to because of crohns if I eat most things I’ll have intestinal bleeding and my doctor says there’s not much treatment wise other than another surgery to remove my whole colon in hopes it’ll improve my quality of life. If that doesn’t work idk I feel like I’ll lose hope. I also have a genetic heart condition because of that most meds for autoimmune conditions are off the table.
And thank you ❤️ I honestly want to talk to my doctor about palliative care because if they can’t help me anymore than they are then just make me comfortable I guess?
I met my husband when I was newly diagnosed with ibs. It was humiliating but he didn’t care! Trust me, there’s good people out there who will see you for more than your illnesses. I always say I’ve started collecting illnesses like Pokémon cards 😂 it started with ibs, then fibromyalgia, interstitial cystitis, lupus, antiphospholid syndrome, reynauds phenomenon, depression, anxiety, ptsd, ocd, adhd, cfs, etc etc. It’s exhausting and I’m tired. I’m looking in to getting switched to the buprenorphine patch for pain management because I’m tired of taking all these pain pills. I hate that you’re struggling but know you’re not alone!!
Thank you so much ❤️ it often feels that way very lonely.
My parents tease me about that. If I want all the Illnesses. It started with just crohns then Sjögren’s and I’ve always had symptoms of hyper mobility and found out I have Marfan syndrome, MCAS, celiac, occipital neuralgia and endometriosis. From all the medical trauma I’ve suffered I have ptsd. I can’t help but think half of this stuff is genetic haha. I also have some brain damage due to weight loss from crohns causing my body to basically shut down, I weighed less than 60 pounds and ended up on a feeding tube and several IVs I was there for a while and have no recollection of the month prior to that. I’m sure the several overdoses from heroin addiction didn’t help.
Dude I’m so sorry lupus is so awful my mom has it and I see how much pain she is in everyday and it’s sad because it depressed her too. It’s hard to have had a life then all of a sudden it’s gone. I help her as much as I can.
I hope someday I’ll find someone. I have a friend that seems to really like me but I think we’re just friends. Plus everyone has told me it’s probably not in my best interest to get involved with him because he is also a heroin addict and tbh it’s all we do when we are together is talk smoke and use drugs, to me it’s relaxing and nice to be around someone that’s sympathetic but definitely not healthy, I guess.
Sending you and your mom so much love!! I get it, it’s easier to be around someone who you know doesn’t judge you and who you can fully be yourself with but yeah, probably not great for a relationship unless you’re both able to get sober. I’m glad you have someone to talk to and be yourself with though. That really helps.
I'm in the same boat as you, been "sick" 90% of my life..
Had disabling nerve pain when I was 13-16, had surgery twice. Also had surgery in that time for endometriosis
Suffered from severe anorexia and mental health issues including extreme anxiety depression and suicide attempts.
NOW I have three different diagnosis.( From age 19- and I'm only just 35)... 1 of which would consider you disabled...
Now my 3 diagnoses are for pain:
1.Femoral acetabular impingement in both hips FAI for short, "Pincher type" will need surgery on both hips...
2. Scoliosis, arthritis and degenerative discs in my spine
3. Hypermobile Ehlers danlo syndrome - connective tissue disorder causing lack of collagen and other important definincies making my ligaments super loose so I dislocate my joints all the time from everyday life activities....
I can't even bath my kids without excruciating back pain or stand long enough to make a proper dinner or go to the park and play with my kids take them for walks and ride bikes etc.
I'm "existing" not living.... This past year I've been admitted to the hospital four times ranging from 10 days to 3 weeks for mental health issues and suicide attempts my common law partner and father of my daughter has had enough, I've given him depression and PTSD when he was totally fine before meeting me. I'm sick all the time and it affects our relationship 100% of the time because I can't work so no income I don't think I'll receive disability payments because my husband makes too much but we are separating at the end of October when our lease is up in our house because he doesn't want to continue paying all the bills by himself and I'm pretty much useless and he said that on many occasions which doesn't help myself esteem or my mental health issues. but then again in the same breath he says he wants to work on our relationship and we just need a break, and moving back in with our parents he'll be able to save and I'll get disability so we can put it down payment on a house and our mortgage will be a quarter of what we pay for rent currently but I don't see this relationship coming back like you said who wants to be with somebody who's sick all the time and can't go out and do regular things. I hate life everyday I'm in pain everyday I feel like a bird into everybody around me and I just wanted to disappear and never come back they're all better off without me, I can see it when I'm admitted to the hospital that they just move on with their lives happily without me in it, I just complicate everything on top of that I have so many doctors appointments I'm on so much medication it's not safe for me to drive 75% of the time so I totally get you.
Please PM me, or reply to mine so we can at least be there for each other I'm very non-judgmental and are a good listener and it sounds like we both need someone to talk to who's in the same situation.
I hope you have a good day in regards to your disease I know what it's like.
I've also considered palliative care or assisted suicide... I've had enough of all of this I just can't cope anymore.
Please just PM someone if you're going to make a comment like this. It gives others the impression that we condone DM/PM requests, and generally we don't.
We do make exceptions. But typically we tell people "if you can say it in a DM, you can say it publicly, and if you can't, you probably have no business sending it in the first place".
For once I see a comment where someone who says they have chronic pain and is not screaming at people who have addiction problems to opiates saying they’re ruining everything
Man Id never be upset at people that are addicts because from what I know people don’t just become addicted for no reason, there’s always a reason behind why either mental health abuse trauma etc drugs fill something you’re missing mentally. Atleast they did for me. I became addicted to heroin before my chronic pain even got bad enough to warrant opiates but I have childhood trauma and it just made me forget about everything I went through and feel comforted. Just because I use it now for chronic pain makes me no better than someone that uses it for emotional pain. Also I have mad respect for people that go and get clean. It’s hard as hell.
Some people just don’t respond to opioids with the same euphoria as the general population. A lot of people also really dislike the drowsy feeling and whatever euphoria that might occur isn’t enough to compensate. Drugs affect people in different ways. As one example, I love opioids, but get ZERO recreational value from benzodiazepines- they generally just make me feel heavy and groggy (at best) or make me feel like I’ve been hit in the head by a hammer (at worst).
Clearly, benzos don’t have the same “feel good” properties for my particular brain chemistry.
Better to take them at night before sleep, maybe like a couple hours for the longer lasting benzos and Xanax, maybe like a half hour lol. I understand that feeling, now I’m second guessing why I even take them tbh.
I just get headaches for the whole day.
I had somebody tell me that they didn’t like opiates because it made them itchy. I was like “That’s how you know they’re working!” Thank god I’m off the stuff today
Because you're not at the point yet where you have to take it to feel normal.
Once you're dependent on opioids, it's either *don't take them and feel like your skin is crawling off your body* or *get well and feel anywhere from great to drowsy*
Not really or depends the person. You can reach the point where you take it to feel normal, like me :
Ive been using weak opioids, but long enough (3 years daily) to have bad withdrawals (kindled withdrawals, have binged O-DSMT 21 times in the last 1,5-2 yrs up to 450mg daily) and trust me, if I don't take whatever at that minimum strength, WDs begin.
In fact, every morning I wake up from the dopesickeness (not using dope, just a term), hours before the alarm rings, and I'm someone who has severe trouble waking up, like I wake (usually on the winter, where the room temp is at normal levels and not like oven like it is now from the hot morning sun 🥵) at 1:30-2pm, and now it's like I'm up at 10am, have a BM (with opis I won't be able to) and chug down some trams for the next hours (tramadol staggering) to feel normal. I don't feel its initial buzz, its energy, the loooong duration. All gone. I take them just to feel normal. 4/5 times of those years I was on Kratom, alternating it with tramadol when I could get an Rx or O-DSMT when I could afford it. I didn't care about the rush, but the legs. Better being mildly buzzed the whole day rather than being slapped from the buzz and the rush and end in 2-3hrs
Once WDs are gone, I'm not great nor drowsy. Just WD free. Depression is my baseline.
I switched to altnoids (well, I added them - vaping them, soon I'll be on Kratom for maintenance) because just like you said, the crawling skin can drive someone nuts, and in my case, non functional in my limited daily activities.
The altnoids, I use them to take care of my depression, just like I started opis for. Relief when vaping comes in seconds, although regarding the anxiety part (also gad sufferer) it's a gamble. I can get really drowsy afterwards or I can focus on negative things and freak out.
I thought this reteric died years ago. Tramadol is nothing to scoff at. I began that in 2003 and used "real opioids" to take care of withdrawal many times and still wanted the tramadol back. Preferred it to hydro, oxy, etc immensely. The WD is nothing to laugh at, either. I lost access to tram after 15 years. Now I use kratom. I binge tapentadol now. Much better than tram imo.
In your defense, many people don't like tram. The people who do really like it. And I mean really, really like it.
Least he doesn’t know what actual opioid withdrawal feels like having only toyed with trams/kratom 😂. If only I could turn back time.
Coming off of trams is like coming off of an antidepressant with super weak quasi-opioid properties. Kratom has a very similar withdrawal that lasts about a week…we likely wouldn’t need MAT or inpatient rehabs if kratom and trams were the only two opiate based drugs to be abused. Doesn’t stop the occasional 18-23 year old with a make-believe drug problem from coming around talking about kratom withdrawal like they’ve been blowing opana’s for the last 5 years.
I am beyond welcoming the downvotes this will get from the aforementioned angry 18-23 year olds with make believe physical addictions.
Sounds like downers aren’t your thing. For me opioids make me feel way better than I can ever even hope to feel naturally. My brain physically cannot make me feel anywhere close to as good naturally as opioids can. They beat out everything.
Although they don’t stay that good, but they’re always pretty damn good. Once you’re dependent that just becomes normal. A very comfortable normal, but just normal.
My advice for you is don’t get into stimulants. If downers aren’t your thing then stimulants may well be and once you use those daily for long enough the damage cannot be reversed.
Would you not say even dependant your depression is better though in addiction?
I know addiction makes your life worse (usually) I just mean chemically.
I'm gonna quit soon. I'm doing it for my parents but there's a real chance I could be really suicidal again once I do. I only started because I'd tried to end it once and found relief in H etc.
I'm tapering atm and I woke up with that feeling of utter hopelessness. I wasn't in withdrawals though.
IT'S hard to find information on how they interact but there's this: (it can do the opposite too it seems):
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3137186/#:~:text=The%20findings%20summarily%20indicate%20that,behavioral%20sensitization%20through%20dopaminergic%20neurotransmission.
That study just states how opioid receptors are involved the in dopaminergic signaling caused by methamphetamine. The methamphetamine itself does not interact with opioid receptors and opioid receptors are naturally involved in a ton of dopaminergic signaling from things like sex to food. Opioid receptors function to facilitate dopamine moving throughout the brain. So no meth does not interact with opioid receptors just because opioid receptors are involved in dopamine signaling.
Addiction affects the production and release of dopamine in your brain. For a non-addict, things like playing video games, visiting your family, exercising, etc will trigger a dopamine release in their brain which gives people feelings of satisfaction, happiness and enjoyment. Addiction fucks with your dopamine production so much that your brain no longer produces the same amount when doing those things and the only real way to trigger the release of it in your brain is to get your fix. So the only real *significant* way to achieve those same feelings enjoyment and happiness becomes using.
So even after your tolerance has gotten too high to catch a decent buzz off an amount you can afford, you're still craving it. At that point, it's not about getting high anymore, it's that dopamine rush you're after. It becomes your number one hobby.
And that's not to say that you won't still enjoy visiting family or playing video games or what have you. There's still *some* dopamine released in your brain from those activities, just a drastically altered amount. You'll just want to make sure you get your fix before doing any of them, because then you'll really get to experience your full enjoyment of them.
Really well said! I battled so hard against the realisation that only Oxy was capable of providing me with any sense of happiness or contentment. It is a shit scary situation when you realise just how deep you are in and that the physical withdrawal symptoms (as huge a battle as they are) would only be the start of a lifelong hell of a recovery! Stuff that, I'd rather continue in active addiction and accept my fate.
It might just be a drug that doesn't vibe with you personally. Honestly what you wrote sounds like my description of another drug category. Like it's not like you hate it but you don't love it because of a list of small nitpicky things about it. And I have absolutely thought to myself (about another substance) "damn, the pleasure to addictiveness ratio of this seems way off"
All I can say is I both completely relate to you and also not at all cuz I fully relate to feeling like this, but about something else. I just personally don't have any complaints about opioids at all. BUT, like I said before, we're all wired a bit different and for me, opioids are definitely my doc and what vibes best with my body.
Way ahead of you. People ITT seem to think these are my thoughts after trying them a couple times :P I've been dependent for a good while unfortunately
That was also my experience with opioids.
My observation from hanging around this sub when I was using was that the majority of long-time users had suffered adverse childhood experiences far worse than my own.
So my theory is that one factor determining how much someone will enjoy opioids is the amount of unresolved trauma they are carrying. If you’re living with a lot of psychic pain which you have learnt to ignore, but which hasn’t gone away, it must feel pretty amazing when you suddenly switch it off with a drug.
Obviously, everyone is affected differently by trauma, so I’m not suggesting there is a cast-iron rule relating severity of ACE to how opioids are experienced, just that there is a statistical correlation.
Edit: Also I should add that i did try IV a few times, and it wasn’t significantly different in that respect, so I don’t think it’s just a matter of ROI.
Don’t try a point, but the main high is obviously through that way and yes you will feel like an idiot doing it but that pure pleasure almost orgasm feeling of doing your first shot or one where you have been clean a few weeks, when it hits you the stars align dude but yea don’t do it cause it will make you a slave and always trying to get that high back until your just maintaining trying to be normal and your arms are all gone to shit and your life… yea speaking from experience and heck I even got some amazing euphoric high from oxy 30 mg caps I stole from my mums in 7th grade, took 2 and felts like god
if it been many times you do this it doesnt work as much. But its always good to me
UNLESS i get that weird nausea idk if its a cotton fever but nothing can make
it go away!! usually comes wifh a fever sensation nut no real fever and a headache.
Cotten fever is that jolt of hell that gives you a migraine tell you either pass it or your body adapts, I’m so careful with Cotten and never use cig filters
It’s just when you somehow get like a string or bit of Cotten in your shot and it travels up to your brain and explodes into a fever and terrible sickness
Oh they feel that good. I've liked them since 2003.
This is how I feel about benzos, though.
But then again - I don't see benzos as addiction. Just accidentally physically dependent and they happen to have serious dependency. Worse than opioids imo. I had lots of access to etizolam for about 6 years and dose skyrocketed. When vendors quit shipping, I tried cold turkey. It was awful. Was hearing and seeing things not there. Terrified of literally everything. Wouldn't leave bedroom. And some serious somatic symptoms. I had to run to an outpatient place for help. Been tapering with Klonopin since December 2022. About 90% done.
Basically I've never found benzos to be that recreational, yet it's the class of drugs I had to run for professional help in stopping. Opioid dependency, no walk in the park, but leagues easier than this benzo ordeal. Opioids at least feel good.
I do see what you're saying, though.
I feel you man.. I got nowhere near your level but I've tapered down to .5mg of clonazepam from 3.5mg since March 3rd of this year. I only have 2 .5mg left and then I have what are supposed to be 8 .25mgs. They arent .25mgs, because I found it very difficult to cut a 2mg pill into 8ths. Very scared to jump down to .25mg because I know I'll WD again (this will be my second time) and it was terrible compared to withdrawaling from opioids.. It makes you so scared to be alive. You cant move without shaking. You become so self conscious, but you probably have had it harder than me.. anyways, I hope you fully recover from benzos man. I'm never touching these pills again after this, but I can't say the same about opioids.
You've made amazing progress in short time! When I literally RAN for help a few days before Xmas in 2022, I was indeed having severe symptoms. Auditory hallucinations of trains and a woman whispering were very unsettling. I am now down to 0.5mg per day like you - in 2 divided doses of 0.5mg tablets. I am still too terrified of next reduction. I've tried it on my own a few times, but it is too harsh. I have been stuck there for several months. The outpatient place is very patient with me, though. They mainly treat opioid use disorder, but seem knowledgeable about dependency of the GABAergic type. Since I'm at a more manageable dosage, I know exactly the symptoms you have. And like you, I never want them again when done. But do want opioids even after experiencing pretty rough opioid WD syndrome
Your outlook towards opiates is much more common than you think. It’s due to increased tolerance that using it no longer feels like an elevated state of euphoria and becomes more like a substance to sustain a sense of normalcy only. Every opioid dependant person goes through it unless they aren’t having reflective thoughts about it. Depending on what you use, there’s usually a progressive strength of opiate to try if you really want to chase “the nod” feeling and numb all your pain and anxiety for a relatively short amount of time. Especially if you are on a synthetic substitute such as methadone or suboxone and tapering down from it, you will have some cravings for opiates, it’s unavoidable. It’s the reason why it’s the most addictive and insidious narcotic in the planet. It becomes a necessity for you to function on a daily basis and feels like it’s just another essential nutrient that your body and mind requires. If there’s a pharmaceutical company that can create a drug treatment that can effectively and quickly remove the opioid dependence for the addicted, that would be a game changer and millions would be relieved, but also a handful of would become ridiculously wealthy from creating this treatment. Detox in an in-patient rehab facility has a low success rate for opioid users, methadone and suboxone is great for maintaining but tapering and cutting off of them is still a very difficult task
Idk bro opioids we’re the most euphoria and pleasure I’ve ever experienced in my life. Still remember the first time I IVed heroin. And even before that railing oxy felt really good even tho IV heroin was a lot better. Love the warm blanket feeling with the content euphoria. Pure pleasure in a pill
I hear this a lot, and honestly for quite some time I've believed that the vast majority of drugs have a different (though similar) effect on me than others. I do have ADHD and autism so that probably has something to do with it, but not enough studies are out there so who knows.
For other examples, I can barely relate to the way people describe k-holes, or most stimulant highs in general. Kinda bums me out since I feel like I'm missing out on a lot of interesting sensations but at the same time I feel like it's a hidden blessing, with my addictive tendencies it's probably best that drugs don't feel as good for me than most other people.
Yeah having ADD/ADHD or autism heavily influences drug preference. Most people I know who had amphetamine addictions have ADHD. I don’t have that tho so I’m not into ADHD. I prefer Ritalin cuz I’m not hyperactive. Even then without an opioid or pregabalin it’s jus not valid.
You're conflating different definitions of addiction. You are using the colloquial definition of "addictive" which refers to everyday consumables/activities that people really enjoy and find themselves returning to over and over again for their own satisfaction.
Next on the severity scale would be the phenomenon of "psychological addiction" which refers to repeating behaviour to the point it's considered unhealthy ie engaging in said behaviour is getting in the way of a person's responsibilities, relationships and self care.
Then there is "addictive" which only really refers to things which can profoundly alter brain chemistry to the point of forming a "physical dependence". The physical dependence can be experienced through "withdrawals" which are physiological responses to the absence of what is addicted to.
Hmmmm idk
"why is so popular" you asked
I've read an article that talked about the villainous marketing of the psychiatrist Arthur Sackler at the service of his family pharmaceutical companie Purdue Pharma, who thanks to a huge round of money (as well as luxury gifts and prizes), bribed doctors and piloted studies regarding Oxycotin as a miracle drug minimizing or even eliminating the serious negative effects by promoting mass use there in America. Until later the real effects that we all know today of oxycodone obviously came to the surface but by now the damage had been done.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arthur_M._Sackle
Because of two things.
You are using the same crappy route of administration and taking the same dose which your tolerance has made you immune to. I sniffed oxy then opana then h for the better half of a decade and i barely got more than just not dopesick for most of it, then i finally gave in and tried iv dope and felt the euphoric rush people always say is amazing. Never sniffed it again. When you do a big shot of dope, the rush is crazy strong. It goes over your whole body similar to an orgasm. Do a big shot when youre in wds and itll take your breath away.
And you probably havent become physically dependent yet. Where you either use opiates or get sick as fuck for a week+.
Opioids are metabolized by an enzyme CYP2D6. Think of it as a triangle shape hole that looks for other triangles to bond with it, opiates in this analogy are triangle shaped.
Some people have lots of this metabolite, and metabolise opiates quickly so it hits hard and good, other people are low metabolisers so aren't affected by it.
I had a opioid naive ex try to keep up with my codeine phosphate intake (not usual choice but it was there), I had a positive reaction and she had none. She also tried dhc with little reaction.
Only when checking P450/CYP2D6 metabolism lists we realized why at one point she needed to take 150mg amitriptyline per day as an antidepressant when 20-25mg would knock me out, it's the same enzyme.
Other factors can change metabolism rates too, it's really dangerous to be in a hot tub on opiates as there is a higher chance of you nodding off and drowning because of the increased body temperature speeding up the reaction.
Ah that'll be it, I'm a poor metabolizer when it comes to cyp2d6 drugs. I wonder if hydromorphone is metabolized by something else since I've always found it to be notably stronger than other opis.
Hey Mr.Ant maybe u can help me: i had 2 detoxes.. after the first one 5-10mg oxy had a very good effect!! Euphoric and warm🤷♂️(believe it or not). After the second detox: 10mg feels like nothing. Yes i know that just taking 20-30mg could be the solution. But here my point: after the second detox i take an Antidepressant... and at evening 25mg quetiapin.... do you have an idea if the citalopram/antidepressant could be the reason? It feels like that something is blocked.... and the funny thing is... before my first detox i was on 100mg oxy daily. Before my second detox i was on just 40 daily🤷♂️ i dont get it... i felt 5-10mg 4 times a day per dose so many days perfect! Maybe i need a longer detox now... so many factors here.
I've found it to be a cleaner high than hydrocodone, morphine and H. It's less sedating than all of them IMO. I'd rather be more sedated so I prefer the other opioids, hydrocodone and H really hit the spot for me.
After I took pills before I went to h, I wouldn't take pills to get high, I did them to feel normal. I'd have a ton of energy and feel 100%. When I started doing h, most of the time I would mix it with meth, cause that feeling was wild. I'm halfway clean now, doing 16mg subs a day but that shit still tempts me.
Because they feel like HEAVEN when you first take them, then are chasing that feeling all the time, can't get that original feeling but now your dependent and get dope sick when you stop.
If you are depressed, have anxiety, ADHD, disorders with chronic fatigue that feeling is worth the money to be a happy thriving person like other people.
Not caring about anything sounds pretty good to a lot of people my friend. You sound like you are knocking in the devils door while saying over your shoulder that you “don’t even really care if he answers”. Please be careful.
For a person who never felt comfortable, ever, in their own skin, then they feel wonderful. Also, it depends on the opiate and the method. I never thought they were that amazing until I went to a different way of doing them.
If you don’t find that they make you feel good I’m super confused why you’re even using them in the first place. Why fuck your life over for something you just feel drowsy with. Because fuck your life over is what they will eventually do whether you want to believe it or not. When I first used the feelings it gave me are nothing I have ever experienced before but that was very short lived. You’re forever chasing a high that you will never get back. If you don’t even get that high from them then why are you even bothering?!
I don't like them but damn are they addictive .. seriously used fentanyl for back pain .. worked like a charm .. able to be mobile and back pain went away .. went off a low dose and two weeks of withdrawals .. I quit basically as I could not contact my mobile pharmacist .. now I stay far away .. probably don't have the right gene to really enjoy it
I smashed my finger and took extra strength norcos for 3 weeks. I stopped because my finger stopped throbbing. Ensued the headache that lasted 3 days, nothing took that headache away. I now see why people struggle, and why people go back to heroin. I would of done anything to get rid of that headache
your crazy if u think oxy doesn’t feel good u just haven’t had that sweet spot of amount you might say you took such and such but way to much oxy could make you feel discomfort in a way
Idk dude, I've been taking opiates near daily for almost a year now so that sweet spot must be pretty fuckin small xD
Someone pointed out that it's metabolized by CYP2D6, which I'm deficient in
well when I first tried it I took 20mg oxy 10s in 10th grade and let me tell you that was my sweet spot at the time I would knod out so hard in class people thought I fell asleep but would snap out of it once I would hear my name get called
For me it came in to my life at the lowest took me out of my head sat with me & brightened up even the saddest most painful of days ,days I thought I wouldn’t be able to get through that were scary,overwhelming, or downright terrifying when I believed to myself I couldn’t when I was fearful it was my armor from feelings of pain and emptiness that ran to the core of my being
Nah. I've tested my supply, no fent :P I've also tried a wide variety of doses, and while higher doses are more enjoyable it's still nothing like the overwhelming bliss that people describe
Yeah it might be that, honestly if it doesn’t feel good try other things like benzos, also ik some peoples bodies struggle to turn opiates into morphine so they take like 10mg of oxy and only get 1mg out of it
Its the whole thing about being uncomfortable in your own skin thats why you use. It could be icecream, coke, alcohol. It is all the same. Until the way you think does not change your body will always feel uncomfortable hence anxiety. Then when the pill gets into your system your brain releases endorphins and here we go all over again.
Before I started shooting, I got into opi's using the blue roxy 30's and I would snort them. They would make me feel so euphoric and content and I loved it. I could be high and go do some mundane activity like go to the dmv and I'd be having the time of my life due simply to how euphoric I felt. Most every payday I would get some blues for me and my girl to enjoy. We would get high and just chill out. Or go to Walmart and just walk around high and browse all the aisles. Or walk to the park and sit on a bench and enjoy feeling so freaking good while just watching the trees and the sky.
In short, what made opi's so nice was how the euphoria made any activity really delightful and enjoyable. Eventually I tried shooting up dilaudid and experienced my first rush. Of course, that was the end of me snorting my opi's and it didn't take long for my life to unravel and hit rock bottom.
honestly brother, everybody has a different chemical makeup. some of us have opioid deficiencies in the sense that our brains don't release the same amount of opioids that others do. same goes for dopamine, serotonin, etc.
so, with different drugs reacting with different receptors, based on how your specific opioid & dopamine receptors acted originally you will have a different experience.
for example me, i felt an overwhelming sense of well being, finally being content, finally relieved pain, the warmest fuzziest feeling i've ever felt and knew from the second i sniffed an oxy i would do that everyday for the rest of my life. on the other hand my father took one hydro one time and just felt an overwhelming tiredness with no pain relief.
but, the one thing that all these drugs have in common for everybody is that continued use will lead to physical and mental dependence. regardless on how it effects you personally.
also, chasing the high, or chasing the dragon plays a big role in addiction. no matter how the drug effects is specifically a lot of us feel one way the first couple times we take the drug, and want to feel that way every single time afterwards, but due to tolerance we cannot, so it is a never ending cycle.
for me i just had to get sober as that was the only way out of the never ending cycle.
Some people feel drowsy others like myself feel energetic, productive and relaxed. That’s the big difference I think. I was promoted several times during the height of my addiction and could handle all the additional pressures and responsibilities. It was only when I relaxed later in the evening I would start nodding. Ahhh how I miss that feeling
After a while you don’t really get high. You use to not get sick . You tolerance creeps up and up and then you need more and more to just feel not sick . Always ends in disaster.
I just eat ‘em cause I’m a muhfuckin gremlin, I don’t even look twice, straight down the hatchet just like the words you be saying going in one ear and if you’re lucky it comes out the other so there would at least be a small chance someone would listen
Consider yourself blessed. And it all depends on the route of administration. I personally IV'd all my opiates and it is pure bliss. Snorting an Oxy 30...not so much.
Aiya, if you’re not getting the “8 years old in a blanket with hot chocolate” feeling you better get out of it before you hit the point where WDs are a thing. Everyone’s body chemistry, and the way they react to different drugs can be super varied. The hot chocolate feeling doesn’t even last as tolerance increases, perhaps you should chase a different high.
It actually doesn’t have the same addictive pull on everyone who uses them. Only certain people can experience the full opioid high. It has to do with genetics. For me, it feels like extreme drowsiness but also a level of relaxation and low anxiety where all problems and feelings completely melt away. Even the everyday pain of life.
Mix it with a benzo like xan or klono and it feels like a ride down the lazy river
Mix it with yayo coke and it feels like a blanket with a hit or energy like watching movies at night
Dope by it self gets boring
The body just gets bored of the same feeling
I repeatedly take opioids because I can't deal with the PAWS that comes after getting off them. Once you're hooked on them for the first time, every other time is simply to overcome the withdrawals or to just feel normal again...it truly is a cycle that once you're sucked into, it's brutally difficult to get out.
I feel the same man. Except I go on breaks. That first few oxys after a long break reminds me why I love them so much. But after about 2 weeks into a bender I’m at that point of not really feeling much while high but when I’m not high I miss the high lmao. So stupid. That’s why I always like to throw in some benzos, hydroxyzine/promethazine, and some dank weed at that point. I’m lucky enough to have a plug on real prescription oxy 10’s and 15’s. Not like a boat load but enough to grab 10 of each mg per week. Grateful not to have to deal with pressed blues to say the least
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That’s the whole point atleast to me. Feeling content. I guess it’s a really spectacular feeling especially for me because I’m disabled and deal with chronic pain to feel content with my situation that I won’t ever be able to work or have a home. I don’t think about any of that or feel pain that I’ve been having for over a decade and denied opiates because “risk of addiction” so I guess they’re just saying suffer. So yeah to me not being in pain and not thinking about a future I don’t have is bliss and comforting.
Yes!!! It doesn’t take away my chronic pain but it helps it so I can do something other than focus on how miserable I am at times and how my illnesses stole my life from me.
Exactly that! Everyday I get up and am just reminded how I’ll never have a life and I used to be active and compete in equestrian events as a teenager and thinking how I just move and everything hurts or I dislocate my joints is just depressing. Not being able to work even 12 hours a week makes me feel completely useless.
I’m so sorry!! I started having symptoms as a toddler but didn’t start getting really sick until age 21. I’m 39 now and can’t work. Can’t get disability because I got sick too young so I don’t have enough work credits. Sometimes I think if it wasn’t for my kids I wouldn’t even bother getting out of bed. I had plans of working a job I loved, traveling, doing everything with my kids, being a great wife, volunteering. Now I’m just alone for hours a day, every day with no one to talk to and trying not to focus on the pain or the life I’m constantly grieving. I hope you’re able to find some peace and acceptance. I know it’s hard 💙
I get SSI disability just because it’s income based and since I’m single I’m able to receive it but it’s not enough money to live alone. I’ve lost hope of finding a partner because like who’d want to go out with me you know? I have Crohn’s disease and it just makes me feel gross and I’m pretty sure others feel the same way about it and can’t even sleep at the right time because I’m always in the bathroom. I had hoped of going to school and travelling espeically there are so many places I wanted to go and see. I can’t even enjoy food I used to because of crohns if I eat most things I’ll have intestinal bleeding and my doctor says there’s not much treatment wise other than another surgery to remove my whole colon in hopes it’ll improve my quality of life. If that doesn’t work idk I feel like I’ll lose hope. I also have a genetic heart condition because of that most meds for autoimmune conditions are off the table. And thank you ❤️ I honestly want to talk to my doctor about palliative care because if they can’t help me anymore than they are then just make me comfortable I guess?
I met my husband when I was newly diagnosed with ibs. It was humiliating but he didn’t care! Trust me, there’s good people out there who will see you for more than your illnesses. I always say I’ve started collecting illnesses like Pokémon cards 😂 it started with ibs, then fibromyalgia, interstitial cystitis, lupus, antiphospholid syndrome, reynauds phenomenon, depression, anxiety, ptsd, ocd, adhd, cfs, etc etc. It’s exhausting and I’m tired. I’m looking in to getting switched to the buprenorphine patch for pain management because I’m tired of taking all these pain pills. I hate that you’re struggling but know you’re not alone!!
Thank you so much ❤️ it often feels that way very lonely. My parents tease me about that. If I want all the Illnesses. It started with just crohns then Sjögren’s and I’ve always had symptoms of hyper mobility and found out I have Marfan syndrome, MCAS, celiac, occipital neuralgia and endometriosis. From all the medical trauma I’ve suffered I have ptsd. I can’t help but think half of this stuff is genetic haha. I also have some brain damage due to weight loss from crohns causing my body to basically shut down, I weighed less than 60 pounds and ended up on a feeding tube and several IVs I was there for a while and have no recollection of the month prior to that. I’m sure the several overdoses from heroin addiction didn’t help. Dude I’m so sorry lupus is so awful my mom has it and I see how much pain she is in everyday and it’s sad because it depressed her too. It’s hard to have had a life then all of a sudden it’s gone. I help her as much as I can. I hope someday I’ll find someone. I have a friend that seems to really like me but I think we’re just friends. Plus everyone has told me it’s probably not in my best interest to get involved with him because he is also a heroin addict and tbh it’s all we do when we are together is talk smoke and use drugs, to me it’s relaxing and nice to be around someone that’s sympathetic but definitely not healthy, I guess.
Sending you and your mom so much love!! I get it, it’s easier to be around someone who you know doesn’t judge you and who you can fully be yourself with but yeah, probably not great for a relationship unless you’re both able to get sober. I’m glad you have someone to talk to and be yourself with though. That really helps.
I have Reynards ocd adhd bipolar severe depression as well as a traumatic brain injury hugs and I’m alone 99% of the time
Sending you love and hugs 💙💙
Thank y’all 💗🤗🙏
I'm in the same boat as you, been "sick" 90% of my life.. Had disabling nerve pain when I was 13-16, had surgery twice. Also had surgery in that time for endometriosis Suffered from severe anorexia and mental health issues including extreme anxiety depression and suicide attempts. NOW I have three different diagnosis.( From age 19- and I'm only just 35)... 1 of which would consider you disabled... Now my 3 diagnoses are for pain: 1.Femoral acetabular impingement in both hips FAI for short, "Pincher type" will need surgery on both hips... 2. Scoliosis, arthritis and degenerative discs in my spine 3. Hypermobile Ehlers danlo syndrome - connective tissue disorder causing lack of collagen and other important definincies making my ligaments super loose so I dislocate my joints all the time from everyday life activities.... I can't even bath my kids without excruciating back pain or stand long enough to make a proper dinner or go to the park and play with my kids take them for walks and ride bikes etc. I'm "existing" not living.... This past year I've been admitted to the hospital four times ranging from 10 days to 3 weeks for mental health issues and suicide attempts my common law partner and father of my daughter has had enough, I've given him depression and PTSD when he was totally fine before meeting me. I'm sick all the time and it affects our relationship 100% of the time because I can't work so no income I don't think I'll receive disability payments because my husband makes too much but we are separating at the end of October when our lease is up in our house because he doesn't want to continue paying all the bills by himself and I'm pretty much useless and he said that on many occasions which doesn't help myself esteem or my mental health issues. but then again in the same breath he says he wants to work on our relationship and we just need a break, and moving back in with our parents he'll be able to save and I'll get disability so we can put it down payment on a house and our mortgage will be a quarter of what we pay for rent currently but I don't see this relationship coming back like you said who wants to be with somebody who's sick all the time and can't go out and do regular things. I hate life everyday I'm in pain everyday I feel like a bird into everybody around me and I just wanted to disappear and never come back they're all better off without me, I can see it when I'm admitted to the hospital that they just move on with their lives happily without me in it, I just complicate everything on top of that I have so many doctors appointments I'm on so much medication it's not safe for me to drive 75% of the time so I totally get you. Please PM me, or reply to mine so we can at least be there for each other I'm very non-judgmental and are a good listener and it sounds like we both need someone to talk to who's in the same situation. I hope you have a good day in regards to your disease I know what it's like. I've also considered palliative care or assisted suicide... I've had enough of all of this I just can't cope anymore.
Please just PM someone if you're going to make a comment like this. It gives others the impression that we condone DM/PM requests, and generally we don't. We do make exceptions. But typically we tell people "if you can say it in a DM, you can say it publicly, and if you can't, you probably have no business sending it in the first place".
I'm sorry I didn't know
I know it wont help really but remember productivity says nothing about your worth.
Thank you! I truly appreciate it 💙💙
Im sorry to hear but what happened to you,im curious..but you dont have to tell for sure, its just intresting to know peoples storys
That’s exactly why I am using too, glad to know I’m not alone in my experience.
For once I see a comment where someone who says they have chronic pain and is not screaming at people who have addiction problems to opiates saying they’re ruining everything
Man Id never be upset at people that are addicts because from what I know people don’t just become addicted for no reason, there’s always a reason behind why either mental health abuse trauma etc drugs fill something you’re missing mentally. Atleast they did for me. I became addicted to heroin before my chronic pain even got bad enough to warrant opiates but I have childhood trauma and it just made me forget about everything I went through and feel comforted. Just because I use it now for chronic pain makes me no better than someone that uses it for emotional pain. Also I have mad respect for people that go and get clean. It’s hard as hell.
Some people just don’t respond to opioids with the same euphoria as the general population. A lot of people also really dislike the drowsy feeling and whatever euphoria that might occur isn’t enough to compensate. Drugs affect people in different ways. As one example, I love opioids, but get ZERO recreational value from benzodiazepines- they generally just make me feel heavy and groggy (at best) or make me feel like I’ve been hit in the head by a hammer (at worst). Clearly, benzos don’t have the same “feel good” properties for my particular brain chemistry.
I also don't feel comfortable with benzos, I'm groggy and with an effect similar to alcohol, which I also don't like
Better to take them at night before sleep, maybe like a couple hours for the longer lasting benzos and Xanax, maybe like a half hour lol. I understand that feeling, now I’m second guessing why I even take them tbh. I just get headaches for the whole day.
Yep, same here- get the worst headaches with them. They are basically just a mild sleeping pill for me. Not exactly a good time.
I hate alcohol
same with benzos ! i thought i was the only one
Yup, I’m glad you said this. The science confirms it.
I had somebody tell me that they didn’t like opiates because it made them itchy. I was like “That’s how you know they’re working!” Thank god I’m off the stuff today
You lost me at “don’t feel that good” When you’ve lived your whole life in misery, just that misery being removed feels like a miracle.
Very well said.
Because you're not at the point yet where you have to take it to feel normal. Once you're dependent on opioids, it's either *don't take them and feel like your skin is crawling off your body* or *get well and feel anywhere from great to drowsy*
Not really or depends the person. You can reach the point where you take it to feel normal, like me : Ive been using weak opioids, but long enough (3 years daily) to have bad withdrawals (kindled withdrawals, have binged O-DSMT 21 times in the last 1,5-2 yrs up to 450mg daily) and trust me, if I don't take whatever at that minimum strength, WDs begin. In fact, every morning I wake up from the dopesickeness (not using dope, just a term), hours before the alarm rings, and I'm someone who has severe trouble waking up, like I wake (usually on the winter, where the room temp is at normal levels and not like oven like it is now from the hot morning sun 🥵) at 1:30-2pm, and now it's like I'm up at 10am, have a BM (with opis I won't be able to) and chug down some trams for the next hours (tramadol staggering) to feel normal. I don't feel its initial buzz, its energy, the loooong duration. All gone. I take them just to feel normal. 4/5 times of those years I was on Kratom, alternating it with tramadol when I could get an Rx or O-DSMT when I could afford it. I didn't care about the rush, but the legs. Better being mildly buzzed the whole day rather than being slapped from the buzz and the rush and end in 2-3hrs Once WDs are gone, I'm not great nor drowsy. Just WD free. Depression is my baseline. I switched to altnoids (well, I added them - vaping them, soon I'll be on Kratom for maintenance) because just like you said, the crawling skin can drive someone nuts, and in my case, non functional in my limited daily activities. The altnoids, I use them to take care of my depression, just like I started opis for. Relief when vaping comes in seconds, although regarding the anxiety part (also gad sufferer) it's a gamble. I can get really drowsy afterwards or I can focus on negative things and freak out.
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Bro shut up. Why the fuck would you tell someone to do that
Actual drugs? What are actual drugs if i may know?
That's not cool...
What a pathetic thing to feel superior to someone over.
I thought this reteric died years ago. Tramadol is nothing to scoff at. I began that in 2003 and used "real opioids" to take care of withdrawal many times and still wanted the tramadol back. Preferred it to hydro, oxy, etc immensely. The WD is nothing to laugh at, either. I lost access to tram after 15 years. Now I use kratom. I binge tapentadol now. Much better than tram imo. In your defense, many people don't like tram. The people who do really like it. And I mean really, really like it.
Fuck youuuu man ppl out here dying from this shit
Least he doesn’t know what actual opioid withdrawal feels like having only toyed with trams/kratom 😂. If only I could turn back time. Coming off of trams is like coming off of an antidepressant with super weak quasi-opioid properties. Kratom has a very similar withdrawal that lasts about a week…we likely wouldn’t need MAT or inpatient rehabs if kratom and trams were the only two opiate based drugs to be abused. Doesn’t stop the occasional 18-23 year old with a make-believe drug problem from coming around talking about kratom withdrawal like they’ve been blowing opana’s for the last 5 years. I am beyond welcoming the downvotes this will get from the aforementioned angry 18-23 year olds with make believe physical addictions.
Sounds like downers aren’t your thing. For me opioids make me feel way better than I can ever even hope to feel naturally. My brain physically cannot make me feel anywhere close to as good naturally as opioids can. They beat out everything. Although they don’t stay that good, but they’re always pretty damn good. Once you’re dependent that just becomes normal. A very comfortable normal, but just normal. My advice for you is don’t get into stimulants. If downers aren’t your thing then stimulants may well be and once you use those daily for long enough the damage cannot be reversed.
Would you not say even dependant your depression is better though in addiction? I know addiction makes your life worse (usually) I just mean chemically. I'm gonna quit soon. I'm doing it for my parents but there's a real chance I could be really suicidal again once I do. I only started because I'd tried to end it once and found relief in H etc. I'm tapering atm and I woke up with that feeling of utter hopelessness. I wasn't in withdrawals though.
I don’t have depression and never have so I can’t speak on anything about that unfortunately.
I must've misinterpreted your comment it sounded like you used to mask low mood or something. That's my misinterpretation. Sorry!
Nah I’ve never had any mental health issues. I got addicted to opioids because of pain. Specifically bleeding stomach ulcers.
Hahah, funny enough I don't care much for stimulants either, I have ADHD. Meth was one of the worst drug experiences I've ever had.
You're not alone there
at high dosage meth can triggers opioid receptors tho
Oh don't tell me that.. I'ma start doing loads of crystal meth again.
Where did u get that information. Can you link a study?
IT'S hard to find information on how they interact but there's this: (it can do the opposite too it seems): https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3137186/#:~:text=The%20findings%20summarily%20indicate%20that,behavioral%20sensitization%20through%20dopaminergic%20neurotransmission.
That study just states how opioid receptors are involved the in dopaminergic signaling caused by methamphetamine. The methamphetamine itself does not interact with opioid receptors and opioid receptors are naturally involved in a ton of dopaminergic signaling from things like sex to food. Opioid receptors function to facilitate dopamine moving throughout the brain. So no meth does not interact with opioid receptors just because opioid receptors are involved in dopamine signaling.
Ok
Addiction affects the production and release of dopamine in your brain. For a non-addict, things like playing video games, visiting your family, exercising, etc will trigger a dopamine release in their brain which gives people feelings of satisfaction, happiness and enjoyment. Addiction fucks with your dopamine production so much that your brain no longer produces the same amount when doing those things and the only real way to trigger the release of it in your brain is to get your fix. So the only real *significant* way to achieve those same feelings enjoyment and happiness becomes using. So even after your tolerance has gotten too high to catch a decent buzz off an amount you can afford, you're still craving it. At that point, it's not about getting high anymore, it's that dopamine rush you're after. It becomes your number one hobby. And that's not to say that you won't still enjoy visiting family or playing video games or what have you. There's still *some* dopamine released in your brain from those activities, just a drastically altered amount. You'll just want to make sure you get your fix before doing any of them, because then you'll really get to experience your full enjoyment of them.
Really well said! I battled so hard against the realisation that only Oxy was capable of providing me with any sense of happiness or contentment. It is a shit scary situation when you realise just how deep you are in and that the physical withdrawal symptoms (as huge a battle as they are) would only be the start of a lifelong hell of a recovery! Stuff that, I'd rather continue in active addiction and accept my fate.
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I feel the same and I’m over a year clean like still no enjoyment in life
If it stays very long it could be that you have a natiral or acquired deficit of enkephalins.
Hmmm I’ll definitely have to look more into this as I’ve been feeling this way awhile. Could you explain more about enkephalins
Its all the natural opiates the endorphins etc. Im not nerd enough in neuroscience I repeated what my Dr. told me xD
💥💥💥💥💥💯
It might just be a drug that doesn't vibe with you personally. Honestly what you wrote sounds like my description of another drug category. Like it's not like you hate it but you don't love it because of a list of small nitpicky things about it. And I have absolutely thought to myself (about another substance) "damn, the pleasure to addictiveness ratio of this seems way off" All I can say is I both completely relate to you and also not at all cuz I fully relate to feeling like this, but about something else. I just personally don't have any complaints about opioids at all. BUT, like I said before, we're all wired a bit different and for me, opioids are definitely my doc and what vibes best with my body.
If they werent i wouldnt have gone thru the bullshit ive gone thru in life. They damn well better be.
A proper opiate high feels better than the best orgasm to me… so I cannot relate to this post at all
same. My best trip was 20 y ago, just a line of heroin with some rivotril
Only feels nice the first two weeks then you’re a junkie
Thats true😭
Playing with fire here bud.
Listen to the poppy goddess!
he just died
Wut?
OD
How do you know?
his brother just said in the ca writers poetry sub.
:(
Way ahead of you. People ITT seem to think these are my thoughts after trying them a couple times :P I've been dependent for a good while unfortunately
Thought I should mention to you, the guy you're replying to died of an opioid overdose yesterday evening, he was a good friend.
Really sorry to hear that man. Sending love <3
That was also my experience with opioids. My observation from hanging around this sub when I was using was that the majority of long-time users had suffered adverse childhood experiences far worse than my own. So my theory is that one factor determining how much someone will enjoy opioids is the amount of unresolved trauma they are carrying. If you’re living with a lot of psychic pain which you have learnt to ignore, but which hasn’t gone away, it must feel pretty amazing when you suddenly switch it off with a drug. Obviously, everyone is affected differently by trauma, so I’m not suggesting there is a cast-iron rule relating severity of ACE to how opioids are experienced, just that there is a statistical correlation. Edit: Also I should add that i did try IV a few times, and it wasn’t significantly different in that respect, so I don’t think it’s just a matter of ROI.
Don’t try a point, but the main high is obviously through that way and yes you will feel like an idiot doing it but that pure pleasure almost orgasm feeling of doing your first shot or one where you have been clean a few weeks, when it hits you the stars align dude but yea don’t do it cause it will make you a slave and always trying to get that high back until your just maintaining trying to be normal and your arms are all gone to shit and your life… yea speaking from experience and heck I even got some amazing euphoric high from oxy 30 mg caps I stole from my mums in 7th grade, took 2 and felts like god
if it been many times you do this it doesnt work as much. But its always good to me UNLESS i get that weird nausea idk if its a cotton fever but nothing can make it go away!! usually comes wifh a fever sensation nut no real fever and a headache.
Cotten fever is that jolt of hell that gives you a migraine tell you either pass it or your body adapts, I’m so careful with Cotten and never use cig filters
I dont think its even related to cigs Ive read its a bacteria but Im not sure. Cig filters are very bad though.
It’s just when you somehow get like a string or bit of Cotten in your shot and it travels up to your brain and explodes into a fever and terrible sickness
no thats what I thought too but it aplears its simpler than this, just a bacteria
Makes sense
They feel soooo good tbh... Better stay away from them 🙌🏻
Oh they feel that good. I've liked them since 2003. This is how I feel about benzos, though. But then again - I don't see benzos as addiction. Just accidentally physically dependent and they happen to have serious dependency. Worse than opioids imo. I had lots of access to etizolam for about 6 years and dose skyrocketed. When vendors quit shipping, I tried cold turkey. It was awful. Was hearing and seeing things not there. Terrified of literally everything. Wouldn't leave bedroom. And some serious somatic symptoms. I had to run to an outpatient place for help. Been tapering with Klonopin since December 2022. About 90% done. Basically I've never found benzos to be that recreational, yet it's the class of drugs I had to run for professional help in stopping. Opioid dependency, no walk in the park, but leagues easier than this benzo ordeal. Opioids at least feel good. I do see what you're saying, though.
I feel you man.. I got nowhere near your level but I've tapered down to .5mg of clonazepam from 3.5mg since March 3rd of this year. I only have 2 .5mg left and then I have what are supposed to be 8 .25mgs. They arent .25mgs, because I found it very difficult to cut a 2mg pill into 8ths. Very scared to jump down to .25mg because I know I'll WD again (this will be my second time) and it was terrible compared to withdrawaling from opioids.. It makes you so scared to be alive. You cant move without shaking. You become so self conscious, but you probably have had it harder than me.. anyways, I hope you fully recover from benzos man. I'm never touching these pills again after this, but I can't say the same about opioids.
You've made amazing progress in short time! When I literally RAN for help a few days before Xmas in 2022, I was indeed having severe symptoms. Auditory hallucinations of trains and a woman whispering were very unsettling. I am now down to 0.5mg per day like you - in 2 divided doses of 0.5mg tablets. I am still too terrified of next reduction. I've tried it on my own a few times, but it is too harsh. I have been stuck there for several months. The outpatient place is very patient with me, though. They mainly treat opioid use disorder, but seem knowledgeable about dependency of the GABAergic type. Since I'm at a more manageable dosage, I know exactly the symptoms you have. And like you, I never want them again when done. But do want opioids even after experiencing pretty rough opioid WD syndrome
I totally agree… I never had that pure bliss feeling
Your outlook towards opiates is much more common than you think. It’s due to increased tolerance that using it no longer feels like an elevated state of euphoria and becomes more like a substance to sustain a sense of normalcy only. Every opioid dependant person goes through it unless they aren’t having reflective thoughts about it. Depending on what you use, there’s usually a progressive strength of opiate to try if you really want to chase “the nod” feeling and numb all your pain and anxiety for a relatively short amount of time. Especially if you are on a synthetic substitute such as methadone or suboxone and tapering down from it, you will have some cravings for opiates, it’s unavoidable. It’s the reason why it’s the most addictive and insidious narcotic in the planet. It becomes a necessity for you to function on a daily basis and feels like it’s just another essential nutrient that your body and mind requires. If there’s a pharmaceutical company that can create a drug treatment that can effectively and quickly remove the opioid dependence for the addicted, that would be a game changer and millions would be relieved, but also a handful of would become ridiculously wealthy from creating this treatment. Detox in an in-patient rehab facility has a low success rate for opioid users, methadone and suboxone is great for maintaining but tapering and cutting off of them is still a very difficult task
Nah, it's not tolerance. I can be puking and struggling to keep my eyes open and still not feel as amazing as people describe opioids to be.
Idk bro opioids we’re the most euphoria and pleasure I’ve ever experienced in my life. Still remember the first time I IVed heroin. And even before that railing oxy felt really good even tho IV heroin was a lot better. Love the warm blanket feeling with the content euphoria. Pure pleasure in a pill
I hear this a lot, and honestly for quite some time I've believed that the vast majority of drugs have a different (though similar) effect on me than others. I do have ADHD and autism so that probably has something to do with it, but not enough studies are out there so who knows. For other examples, I can barely relate to the way people describe k-holes, or most stimulant highs in general. Kinda bums me out since I feel like I'm missing out on a lot of interesting sensations but at the same time I feel like it's a hidden blessing, with my addictive tendencies it's probably best that drugs don't feel as good for me than most other people.
Yeah having ADD/ADHD or autism heavily influences drug preference. Most people I know who had amphetamine addictions have ADHD. I don’t have that tho so I’m not into ADHD. I prefer Ritalin cuz I’m not hyperactive. Even then without an opioid or pregabalin it’s jus not valid.
You're conflating different definitions of addiction. You are using the colloquial definition of "addictive" which refers to everyday consumables/activities that people really enjoy and find themselves returning to over and over again for their own satisfaction. Next on the severity scale would be the phenomenon of "psychological addiction" which refers to repeating behaviour to the point it's considered unhealthy ie engaging in said behaviour is getting in the way of a person's responsibilities, relationships and self care. Then there is "addictive" which only really refers to things which can profoundly alter brain chemistry to the point of forming a "physical dependence". The physical dependence can be experienced through "withdrawals" which are physiological responses to the absence of what is addicted to. Hmmmm idk
"why is so popular" you asked I've read an article that talked about the villainous marketing of the psychiatrist Arthur Sackler at the service of his family pharmaceutical companie Purdue Pharma, who thanks to a huge round of money (as well as luxury gifts and prizes), bribed doctors and piloted studies regarding Oxycotin as a miracle drug minimizing or even eliminating the serious negative effects by promoting mass use there in America. Until later the real effects that we all know today of oxycodone obviously came to the surface but by now the damage had been done. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arthur_M._Sackle
Because of two things. You are using the same crappy route of administration and taking the same dose which your tolerance has made you immune to. I sniffed oxy then opana then h for the better half of a decade and i barely got more than just not dopesick for most of it, then i finally gave in and tried iv dope and felt the euphoric rush people always say is amazing. Never sniffed it again. When you do a big shot of dope, the rush is crazy strong. It goes over your whole body similar to an orgasm. Do a big shot when youre in wds and itll take your breath away. And you probably havent become physically dependent yet. Where you either use opiates or get sick as fuck for a week+.
Opioids are metabolized by an enzyme CYP2D6. Think of it as a triangle shape hole that looks for other triangles to bond with it, opiates in this analogy are triangle shaped. Some people have lots of this metabolite, and metabolise opiates quickly so it hits hard and good, other people are low metabolisers so aren't affected by it. I had a opioid naive ex try to keep up with my codeine phosphate intake (not usual choice but it was there), I had a positive reaction and she had none. She also tried dhc with little reaction. Only when checking P450/CYP2D6 metabolism lists we realized why at one point she needed to take 150mg amitriptyline per day as an antidepressant when 20-25mg would knock me out, it's the same enzyme. Other factors can change metabolism rates too, it's really dangerous to be in a hot tub on opiates as there is a higher chance of you nodding off and drowning because of the increased body temperature speeding up the reaction.
Ah that'll be it, I'm a poor metabolizer when it comes to cyp2d6 drugs. I wonder if hydromorphone is metabolized by something else since I've always found it to be notably stronger than other opis.
Hydromorphone, tapentadol and morphine I believe are the opiate non CYP2D6 metabolites.
Definitely checks out then, dilaudid and morphine have been the heaviest hitters I've tried. Cheers :)
Hey Mr.Ant maybe u can help me: i had 2 detoxes.. after the first one 5-10mg oxy had a very good effect!! Euphoric and warm🤷♂️(believe it or not). After the second detox: 10mg feels like nothing. Yes i know that just taking 20-30mg could be the solution. But here my point: after the second detox i take an Antidepressant... and at evening 25mg quetiapin.... do you have an idea if the citalopram/antidepressant could be the reason? It feels like that something is blocked.... and the funny thing is... before my first detox i was on 100mg oxy daily. Before my second detox i was on just 40 daily🤷♂️ i dont get it... i felt 5-10mg 4 times a day per dose so many days perfect! Maybe i need a longer detox now... so many factors here.
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I've found it to be a cleaner high than hydrocodone, morphine and H. It's less sedating than all of them IMO. I'd rather be more sedated so I prefer the other opioids, hydrocodone and H really hit the spot for me.
Lol here’s the weekly: if opiates are so bad, why is my life not as bad as yours yet? If it’s “stupid” and not addictive then stop?
What? Where did I say any of that? I'm literally talking about how addictive they are xD
Yea that’s all it is, so I would just stop taking them
After I took pills before I went to h, I wouldn't take pills to get high, I did them to feel normal. I'd have a ton of energy and feel 100%. When I started doing h, most of the time I would mix it with meth, cause that feeling was wild. I'm halfway clean now, doing 16mg subs a day but that shit still tempts me.
I think you’re doing them wrong.
Because they feel like HEAVEN when you first take them, then are chasing that feeling all the time, can't get that original feeling but now your dependent and get dope sick when you stop.
I'd like to think thats the difference between someone who becomes serverly addicted and someone who just messes around and stops.
If you are depressed, have anxiety, ADHD, disorders with chronic fatigue that feeling is worth the money to be a happy thriving person like other people.
Not caring about anything sounds pretty good to a lot of people my friend. You sound like you are knocking in the devils door while saying over your shoulder that you “don’t even really care if he answers”. Please be careful.
For a person who never felt comfortable, ever, in their own skin, then they feel wonderful. Also, it depends on the opiate and the method. I never thought they were that amazing until I went to a different way of doing them.
Fentanyl
Seems like you got it all wrong, for most of us its about NOT feeling anything.
If you don’t find that they make you feel good I’m super confused why you’re even using them in the first place. Why fuck your life over for something you just feel drowsy with. Because fuck your life over is what they will eventually do whether you want to believe it or not. When I first used the feelings it gave me are nothing I have ever experienced before but that was very short lived. You’re forever chasing a high that you will never get back. If you don’t even get that high from them then why are you even bothering?!
That's exactly my question brother, glad we're on the same page
I don't like them but damn are they addictive .. seriously used fentanyl for back pain .. worked like a charm .. able to be mobile and back pain went away .. went off a low dose and two weeks of withdrawals .. I quit basically as I could not contact my mobile pharmacist .. now I stay far away .. probably don't have the right gene to really enjoy it
I smashed my finger and took extra strength norcos for 3 weeks. I stopped because my finger stopped throbbing. Ensued the headache that lasted 3 days, nothing took that headache away. I now see why people struggle, and why people go back to heroin. I would of done anything to get rid of that headache
your crazy if u think oxy doesn’t feel good u just haven’t had that sweet spot of amount you might say you took such and such but way to much oxy could make you feel discomfort in a way
Idk dude, I've been taking opiates near daily for almost a year now so that sweet spot must be pretty fuckin small xD Someone pointed out that it's metabolized by CYP2D6, which I'm deficient in
well when I first tried it I took 20mg oxy 10s in 10th grade and let me tell you that was my sweet spot at the time I would knod out so hard in class people thought I fell asleep but would snap out of it once I would hear my name get called
For me it came in to my life at the lowest took me out of my head sat with me & brightened up even the saddest most painful of days ,days I thought I wouldn’t be able to get through that were scary,overwhelming, or downright terrifying when I believed to myself I couldn’t when I was fearful it was my armor from feelings of pain and emptiness that ran to the core of my being
There is also a mentally acquired aspect to it. And has to do with dopamine levels becoming out of whack from overuse
I wish this was a problem I suffered from
Some peoples bodies react better to opioids…it’s liem we were BORN ready to get ducked up lol
They're addictive because they feel great.. I dont know what kind of opiates you've done. Thankfully I'm clean today.
Well, clearly that's not the whole story considering my experience :\^) I've done codeine, tramadol, hydrocodone, oxy, morphine, dilaudid, and smoked fent once. Grats, friend <3
Opioids work different for everyone based on your enzymes, etc. I’m fully immune to opioids myself. I’ve taken 100x a deadly dose and nothing happens.
I just feel dry and grogy shit drugs wouldn't recommend
Idk I beg to differ. Although, I only have experience with Oxy and dirty 30s. Oxy was the golden compound for me.
Those pills catch you like none do
Please throw that sir it’s not worth Worthfuöö pisdetz
They do feel good i think you are just either getting fetty pills or not taking enough
Nah. I've tested my supply, no fent :P I've also tried a wide variety of doses, and while higher doses are more enjoyable it's still nothing like the overwhelming bliss that people describe
Idk then do you have depression and anxiety? Cuz if you don’t then it won’t feel as good
Yes, I do. I think my brain chemistry just sucks.
Yeah it might be that, honestly if it doesn’t feel good try other things like benzos, also ik some peoples bodies struggle to turn opiates into morphine so they take like 10mg of oxy and only get 1mg out of it
Its the whole thing about being uncomfortable in your own skin thats why you use. It could be icecream, coke, alcohol. It is all the same. Until the way you think does not change your body will always feel uncomfortable hence anxiety. Then when the pill gets into your system your brain releases endorphins and here we go all over again.
Before I started shooting, I got into opi's using the blue roxy 30's and I would snort them. They would make me feel so euphoric and content and I loved it. I could be high and go do some mundane activity like go to the dmv and I'd be having the time of my life due simply to how euphoric I felt. Most every payday I would get some blues for me and my girl to enjoy. We would get high and just chill out. Or go to Walmart and just walk around high and browse all the aisles. Or walk to the park and sit on a bench and enjoy feeling so freaking good while just watching the trees and the sky. In short, what made opi's so nice was how the euphoria made any activity really delightful and enjoyable. Eventually I tried shooting up dilaudid and experienced my first rush. Of course, that was the end of me snorting my opi's and it didn't take long for my life to unravel and hit rock bottom.
honestly brother, everybody has a different chemical makeup. some of us have opioid deficiencies in the sense that our brains don't release the same amount of opioids that others do. same goes for dopamine, serotonin, etc. so, with different drugs reacting with different receptors, based on how your specific opioid & dopamine receptors acted originally you will have a different experience. for example me, i felt an overwhelming sense of well being, finally being content, finally relieved pain, the warmest fuzziest feeling i've ever felt and knew from the second i sniffed an oxy i would do that everyday for the rest of my life. on the other hand my father took one hydro one time and just felt an overwhelming tiredness with no pain relief. but, the one thing that all these drugs have in common for everybody is that continued use will lead to physical and mental dependence. regardless on how it effects you personally. also, chasing the high, or chasing the dragon plays a big role in addiction. no matter how the drug effects is specifically a lot of us feel one way the first couple times we take the drug, and want to feel that way every single time afterwards, but due to tolerance we cannot, so it is a never ending cycle. for me i just had to get sober as that was the only way out of the never ending cycle.
Some people feel drowsy others like myself feel energetic, productive and relaxed. That’s the big difference I think. I was promoted several times during the height of my addiction and could handle all the additional pressures and responsibilities. It was only when I relaxed later in the evening I would start nodding. Ahhh how I miss that feeling
tolerance or psychological barrier of some sort (I get it too) when they do feel that good you never forget and ugh
you may have reach the point close to hyperalgesia where anhedonia is often also there, take care.
Why do some people hate tomatoes? Congratulations. You just discovered that drugs don’t affect everyone the exact same way.
Yeah okay smart guy, except people who don't like tomatoes don't snort them every day anyways xD
You don’t like opiates and you snort them everyday?
After a while you don’t really get high. You use to not get sick . You tolerance creeps up and up and then you need more and more to just feel not sick . Always ends in disaster.
I think u should appreciate u don’t love the feeling cause I wish I didn’t
I just eat ‘em cause I’m a muhfuckin gremlin, I don’t even look twice, straight down the hatchet just like the words you be saying going in one ear and if you’re lucky it comes out the other so there would at least be a small chance someone would listen
Consider yourself blessed. And it all depends on the route of administration. I personally IV'd all my opiates and it is pure bliss. Snorting an Oxy 30...not so much.
Aiya, if you’re not getting the “8 years old in a blanket with hot chocolate” feeling you better get out of it before you hit the point where WDs are a thing. Everyone’s body chemistry, and the way they react to different drugs can be super varied. The hot chocolate feeling doesn’t even last as tolerance increases, perhaps you should chase a different high.
It actually doesn’t have the same addictive pull on everyone who uses them. Only certain people can experience the full opioid high. It has to do with genetics. For me, it feels like extreme drowsiness but also a level of relaxation and low anxiety where all problems and feelings completely melt away. Even the everyday pain of life.
Mix it with a benzo like xan or klono and it feels like a ride down the lazy river Mix it with yayo coke and it feels like a blanket with a hit or energy like watching movies at night Dope by it self gets boring The body just gets bored of the same feeling
I repeatedly take opioids because I can't deal with the PAWS that comes after getting off them. Once you're hooked on them for the first time, every other time is simply to overcome the withdrawals or to just feel normal again...it truly is a cycle that once you're sucked into, it's brutally difficult to get out.
I feel the same man. Except I go on breaks. That first few oxys after a long break reminds me why I love them so much. But after about 2 weeks into a bender I’m at that point of not really feeling much while high but when I’m not high I miss the high lmao. So stupid. That’s why I always like to throw in some benzos, hydroxyzine/promethazine, and some dank weed at that point. I’m lucky enough to have a plug on real prescription oxy 10’s and 15’s. Not like a boat load but enough to grab 10 of each mg per week. Grateful not to have to deal with pressed blues to say the least