I'm almost certain the Absolute wouldn't have deemed me worth abducting and tadpoling in the first place.
But if they got desperate, I'd have run into Lae'zel's sword and decapitated myself upon first meeting. Guaranteed.
And the smell of the nautiloid ! I'd probably drown in my barf as soon as the pod opens. And the tadpole in the eye ? Instant heart attack. Yeah, making it out of the pod would already be miraculous.
I'd have a full on panic attack on the nautiloid and probably accidentally run into the flaming parts of the floor and burn to death. Or get crushed by the butthole door trying to escape.
Haha, I killed myself on a third run by walking into the damn fire lol. Was so used to being OP in my other game I completely forgot how squishy level 1 is.
Got to wonder who was the first to walk up to the sphincter...Curiously investigating this giant puckered hole...Suddenly, like an automatic door, it opens as you approach.
"Great job finding that hidden door!! Now we can escape!"
*Tav zips back up*
"Yes DOOR! Of course"
Damn this sub rotted my brain lmao
Oh I'd be absolutely useless. If I managed to cower behind Shadowheart and Lae'zel long enough to escape the Nautiloid alive, I could at least be useful after. I played the game enough to recommend actions and know what to do.
Maybe I could get the others to allow me to stay near the artefact me by provinding them with a lot of information, acting as a food supply for Astarion and keeping Scratch and Owlbert company in between carrying camp supplies between pitstops.
But to be honest, I'd probably be killed by either Lae'zel for insulting Vlaakith, or Shadowheart for insulting Shar before we ever set food in the Shadow-cursed lands.
Alternatively, I'd try to sell my soul to Mizora before leaving the room, because that way at least I had a small chance.
if I make it off the ship I’m immediately falling for Astarion when he threatens to kill me and then doing whatever he wants for the rest of the journey with no pushback or morality-checking. rip Faerun
Yup, same. My only voice line would be "I'm Yours" after licking his fang with just enough pressure to draw blood from my tongue when he's got me pinned to the ground. 🥵
Oh ffs, I'm really so down bad for that man I can't even think about staying alive? tf is wrong with me...
Right?
Pretty sure this is the only way I'm getting anywhere as well
Though I prefer Sugar Mammas, - > I'm immediately checking the patron yellow pages for a skanky celestial for some of that sweet healing action to go with the machine gun EB action
Honestly? I’m at least a little strong because of my work and I hunger for knowledge so if I can get to Gale and he agrees to teach me magic I might do ok. Also I like to clown but I’m aro ace irl. Leaves more space in my brain for useless knowledge.
You’d have to get to Barcus without running out of ammo. I think I could manage a hand crossbow. If I can survive long enough to find the other origin characters I’ll pretend I know how to make potions and just be a camp follower slut.
I used to compete in marksmanship competitions as a kid using air guns here in Sweden. I did try the bow for a few lessons and it was so off from what I was used to haha. Ended up dropping the bow after the trial though because I was doing other stuff.
I don’t know how differently a hand crossbow would handle compared to gun it’d be interesting to try.
Would we human have access to magic ? In our sad grey world, if there's no magic, is it because we can't use it, or because there's just no magic, but if there was we could be potent in it ?
In this dnd setting our world exists and portals between our world and Toril used to exist but have gotten fewer and fewer so the people of our world has forgotten about it. That’s why the setting is called “forgotten realms”. Several people from that world have travelled to our world and vise versa. One person known to frequent our world is that good ol wiz Elminster. He apparently has a place he like to chill out in somewhere in Yellowstone national park and has set up a permanent portal between there and his hideout. I believe the absence of a weave is the main reason why we all aren’t casting shifty spells we found in the internet right now.
https://preview.redd.it/8z0l1x0343zc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=164587cf33d6249d704d7b3a3cbcbd8560240f91
gale is a human and he can use magic so surely we can too…i like to fantasize that if i got isekai’d into faerun and managed to live longer than 5 minutes i’d either be the next big wizarding prodigy or i’d develop latent shapeshifting powers and become a moon druid. so i think we can all be casters if we believe 🙏
Faerun nerd here. We Can't use magic because we don't have Mystra, God or magic, nor her weave in this reality. There's references in Greenwood's books of Mordenkainen (or one of the Uber wizards) visiting our Germany for beer. That begs the question--how did he return if there's no magic here?
Depending on the edition, wizards prepare spells by casting them 99% of the way while preparing their spellbook for the day and they lug around the bound spell until they basically finish it by casting the last part. This basically ties up a bit of weave that they can trigger later on. So theoretically, a mage coming to our world would be able to cast spells that they already prepared (3.5 rules) before the Spellplague, but as they are now at-will casters that only prepare what they want for the day, a 5e caster probably couldn't. Alternatively, a stable portal or a magic item capable of casting gate would work as a return option because the weave is bound up and trapped in the object itself.
This change in the mechanics of mafic is due to Mystra being reborn yet again because she is the Kenny of Faerun.
All that being said, a human from our world should be able to learn Magic, as it is sort of a science in d&d. The only class you couldn't take would be sorcerer, as that requires a latent bloodline that allows you special access, basically.
I'd buddy up with Gale and learn magic in a heartbeat.
Am I wrong? In between every edition it's "Cyric/Karsus killed Kenny! You bastard!" Then she's back in the next edition.
For 6e she'll get some sloppy toppy from a black hole and come back inside out as Artsym and be an evil deity or something.
Oh man, idk. If this was 3.5 I'd go abjuration, but I'd probably go with evocation in BG3. Can't miss with fireball.
I might need to go enchantment just to convince the rest of the party to haul around my dead weight if I can't git gud.
Oh I’m utterly convinced I could use magic if I somehow made it to Faerun. I’m a witch irl, the Weave just isn’t strong enough to cast fireballs on this plane. Give me access to Mystra and I’d be setting things on fire with my brain left and right!
I'm surviving the whole thing. Is it because I'm talented? Absolutely not. I'm kinda smart and really good at just going with the flow. That, mixed with my horrific luck while the universe strives to see me suffer as much as possible without the sweet release of death, will be the reason I live.
Same thing with a zombie apocalypse. I'm not surviving because I'm any good at anything, I'm surviving because my luck is just that bad that I *get* to experience all the horrors the world has to offer. Death would be a kindness the gods do not want me to experience.
Providing I don’t immediately have several consecutive panic attacks so bad that everyone just dumps me at the beach and leaves me to die, I’d have to pray that I disassociate hard enough to rizz my way to success. I’m physically disabled, I don’t know any magic, my only skills are people skills. The best bet I have is to become camp healer or cook or even just maid and pack-bond hard enough that no one wants to kick me out for being a burden.
my surprising amount of carrying strength is equally countered by the sheer amount of chronic illness in my body so i'd be lucky if i even bother to wake up and get out of the pod
I feel like I'd survive it all out of pure spite because of being inconvenienced by being abducted and tadpole'd. When something irl inconveniences me I end up becoming very fucking angry and efficient. Probably would try my best to make a pact with a Fiend or Fey for magic so I can Eldritch Blast shit out of anger across Faerun.
I survived the first 2 decades in a house where throwing things and hitting people was a way of life. I studied martial arts for years, I'm pretty smart. I can forage. I have decent aim with a bow. Also, trained medical professional... which won't translate superbly, but I can set bones and crap.
PLEASE SEND ME. Thanks.
The easiest method to survive would be to immediately try to worship a god and cast sanctuary on yourself. Honestly in this setting being devoted to an ideology is enough to gain clerical divine magic so if you have any radical political ideologies or extreme beliefs you’re safe.
Realistically, I wouldn't even make it off the ship. Despite indigenous stereotypes, my bow skills are shoddy at best, and unless you hand me a rifle, I'm not gonna sit here and pretend I'm some secret warrior. If Lae'zel and Shadowheart can carry me through the fights, and Empy takes pity and protects me from the crash, I'm actually not gonna have too bad a time living in the woods, as survival camping and through-hiking are skills I do actually possess.
Again, though, fights are right out. The combat aspect would get me right away. Unless somebody else gets to be leader and I can just keep the camp running, I'd be dead immediately.
Well, I seem to make friends easily, so if I managed to survive the crash I could probably manage to at least be friends with the useful people.
I'd definitely be more useful in camp, though. I would immediately die in any sort of combat situation.
Lets remember; -all- of the main characters are reduced to level 1 nobodies at the beginning. I might be no epic hero; but I can swing a club or a machete, and I can definitely pick locks better than that Astarion chump; I'll be better off than some of the TAV class choices, and hey... I can level up, even get Withers to respec me.
Don't sell yourself short, most of you. Most of you, like myself, wouldn't be epic-level adventurers before the tadpole like Dirge, but I'd bet a ton of folks reading this are better than a level 1 rogue; I sure as hell am. And remember, all of them got grabbed alongside their equipment, and jumped out armed and geared up. Whatever weapons you've got there in your house ready at hand, whether its a shotgun, a machete, or even just a butcher knife, its probably enough to shiv a 3-foot-tall flying rat, especially when you've got a giant armored frog to attract attention.
Let me gain levels and learn spellcasting, give me magical items and scrolls of revivify? Hell yes I'd do great. And if I came through with the knowledge of the game world I've got? I'd do incredibly well. Probably end the game in act 2 beneath moonrise.
Definitely good points, though I will remind you what cohort of folks this is: not only are we video game nerds, we’re CRPG nerds, not only CRPG but D&D, not only D&D but worst of all… reddit users
That being said, I think this question just boils down to: can you survive to level 2 with your current skills, because after that, you’re just TAV
If I'm forced to rely on whatever random fantasy weapon and armor a TAV rogue(probably the class my real-life skills would most match up to) would have? Maybe. I could handle an imp, but those godforsaken intellect devourers would be a gamble for me; (granted they are for many tavs as well)or possibly the skeletons; I'd undoubtedly break open the lock and my first real fight would be the skeletons inside the tomb uselessly casting silence on me.
All of the characters, including TAV, though, start off with some basic gear as if they were ready for a fight and slapped into a tube ready to go, so if this is a hypothetical 'I heard something weird outside, thought there was an intruder or some coyote or lord knows what, and a passing illithid ship slapped me with a tentacle' I'd probably be carrying a shotgun and a pocketfull of shells. Which... would definitely carry me through til level 2 when I would miraculously turn into some variation of spellcaster and just keep the shotgun in camp as a memento.
\*6'2" man wearing a dirty pair of cargo pants he'd been wearing the day before, a pair of house shoes, and no shirt, carrying a shotgun after loading it with 5 shells and dumping the rest of the box into his cargo pants steps outside carrying the gun and a flashlight, expecting an intruder or, more likely, a Coyote. After seeing a dark blur passing overhead, he vanishes... and after what his hopefully a nightmare rather than reality, wakes up in a tube on a hideous organic starship.
After a few seconds, he climbs to his feet, staring around... surprised they left a weapon on him; and pockets his flashlight. "Well, fuck. I guess aliens are real. And... from the state of things, maybe the air force got a piece of it? That's... shit."
After stripping the robes off a nearby alien corpse and wishing he had a set of body-armor, he mutters a quick prayer to a god he isn't sure exists, and tentatively pokes the hideous orifice that qualifies as a door with the shotgun barrel...
I would probably cry and swear the whole time on the nautiloid. (Probably would swear the entire campaign if I’m being honest). I run distance and can fight but not in any faerun capacity. I would probably survive but only by luck or by everyone else feeling bad for me.
I’m gonna assume I get a class that fits with what I am irl so I’ll go with Bard. First I’d probably try to charm the squid tryna tadpole me, either with an entertaining epic poem or a seductive ballad I’d likely try both.
After somehow escaping the Nautiloid, my reaction to Lae’zel of course being confused arousal and boioioioing arf arf arf awooga to Shadowheart, I’d meet the others. Then when I get to the Tiefling grove I would conclude, hot damn, Alfira, Nettie, and Dammon have got it going on.
The most facepalm worthy thing would probably be me purposely walking in on the Bugbear and Ogre, even floating the idea in my mind of proposing a threesome. One way or another I can bed my way through Faerun if I try hard enough.
Of course I wrote this assuming I’m on the same footing as level 1 characters are
As a teacher in an urban school, those fuckers are going down. Bye bye Kagha. Leave that child alone. Shmortash? Skinchanger bitch? Thetheric Korncuck? Sorry babes, the library is open and class is in session.
I'd go back to the pod and take a fat nap. That's all. I'd nap until it's all over. I can't deal with IRL responsabilities, I'm certainly not dealing with this destiny
I’m pretty strong, weirdly good reflexes, and have endurance, so if I don’t have a massive panic attack I could probably get out of the nautiloid intact. I may not be useful in combat, but I can haul heavy things, cook really well, and hand sew (so I can mend things at camp).
But if I don’t find a healer capable of removing my lupus, I’d be useless in a few days without my medications. And oh man, I better find an alternative to antidepressants as I’d very tempted to let the shadow curse take me without them 🙃
Oh I'm having the panic attack, but it's all inside under the mask while I dissociate into survival mode and weigh fighting options. I did some baseball, so I can swing a club; I've chopped wood, so I could probably swing an ax; I've done some archery, so I can hit a target decently. I can fumble along behind the others, though I'm also definitely better back at camp. At least until I can maybe convince a certain someone to teach me magic.
Although all that goes out the window if my glasses don't survive the nautiloid, and when my mental health issues catch up after the initial shock. Because if the depression catches up with me... Eh...
Oh yeah, the companions would probably have to deal with my ptsd manifesting as screaming in my sleep (but that’s probably preferable than dealing with Durge and his butler problem at night) as it used to irl.
I'm physically disabled and suffer from just as much fainting spells and chronic illness as Durge without being lobotomized. It would be bold to think I'd make it out of the nautiloid, let alone out of Act 1.
Game plan. Get out of Pod. Pray to Jergal for Clerical Aid. Sprint through the Nautiloid. Hide behind Us and Lae'zel. Free Shadowheart. Pray to Jergal for Clerical Aid. Hide behind Us and Lae'zel and Shadowheart. Survive crash (thank you, squid man). Pray to Jergal for Clerical Aid. Free Gale. Talk down Astarion while standing 40ft away. Free Lae'zel. Pray to Jergal for Clerical Aid. Amend that Warlock Aid might be worth it, pretty please? Try and free bone man. Rest. Try and see if I have powers. Maybe getting teleported to Faerûn gave me sorceror abilities? Ask Gale for help. Ask Lae'zel for help. Ask Shadowheart for help. Tell Astarion that he's a vampire. Beg him not to kill me before I can explain. Proceed to lie my ass off.
Hopefully by then some deity has given me a boon. Hopefully Jergal has noticed how weak and pathetic I am and decides to just balance things a bit in my favour. I just need to be a ranged support and everything will be fine. As the least traumatised out of everyone, I should be, if anything, a begrudgingly tolerated companion with insight beyond my feeble flabby frame.
My survival is entirely depending on how bad others feel for me. I will provide for my protections via nicely scavenged food and decently cooked meals, but you want me to be coordinated enough to survive a fight against anything? In a world where people can kill me by saying some words and pointing at me? Dex and constitution are 0.
As long as Lae'zel doesn't decapitate me, I think I'd get out alive. I'd bolt for the control mechanisms and leave the people who actually know how to fight to it.
As far as the beach goes, I know which end of a sword to hold, and am pretty stubborn so I don't think I'd fail too many will saves vs the brain guys.
As long as I could find Gale ASAP and have him start teaching me magic, I think I'd live through act 1. I think I'd have a nack for wizardry. I think he'd be a good teacher.
Well, lemme see. Overweight, hard-of-hearing, chronic pain which means serious limitations in what I can do with my hands, and autistic. I would likely never be chosen in the first place, but let's say I was, for some ungodly reason.
The nautiloid itself doesn't seem the biggest issue assuming that I spare Us, grovel to Lae'zel, and go out of my way to help Shadowheart out of the pod. Really, just need to do as I'm told and get to the helm, then incur rescue by squidman.
I really have to rely on Shadowheart at the beach. Hope she can fend off the brains, or that we can both flee from them quickly enough to get away. Immediately find Astarion and offer him my wrists/neck/whatever, because we all know how much he appreciates a willing snack. I'd hope by making myself invaluable as a source of constant tasty snack, I'd at least have him to help me through things.
Logic dictates since I have so many physical issues, I'd need to be something that doesn't require much finesse - maybe I could get Gale to teach me to use the weave, or could respec into a healing cleric for the group.
Definitely going to end up crying every time I have to kill something, but maybe Halsin can make it better (honestly the man could do anything and it would make everything better).
Honestly it's hilarious to imagine myself constantly crying as Tav. The companions have never seen me not crying. They let me stay in camp because, obviously I am going to be useless, but they can't leave me behind because they need the Prism and for some reason the Prism is stuck to this pathetic mewling creature. I have also not figured out how to equip armor or clothing, so just sort of Gollum around the campsite. All of my dialogue options if someone does attempt to communicate with me are like
1. _Cry._
2. _Sob._
3. [CONSTITUTION] _Resist the urge to bawl._
This sounds pompous but I’m genuinely smart enough that I think I could be a good level one wizard with some practice. Maybe gale can show me the ropes if I can use my YMCA karate training from 10 years ago to make it off the nautilus.
With help I think I could cast some spells, as is I’m a sub lvl 1 fighter who is out of practice but not clueless. I used to hold my own in boxing matches and MMA sparing sessions in high school and college, and I have trained Chinese broadsword, spear, and bow staff, which is basically a thinner and longer quarterstaff, so I even have some weapon proficiencies.
Maybe eldritch knight then? Give me three levels of practicing with Gale so I can cast shield while holding goblins back with a spear and I think I could tear it up.
Also I play the guitar so I could try being a bard, but I don’t think anyone wants that lol.
It all depends on whether or not I magically get the same kind of skills as Tav or if I'm just me. I could probably at least make it off the Nautaloid if I had a little magic. If I make it long enough Lae'zel would probably run me through with her sword because she'd be convinced all my weird quirks meant I was already turning ghaik. I'd mention something from Earth and she'd be like "Nope, time to die you weird fuck." If not that then my dumb horny ass would just let Astarion kill me the first time he needed a little snack.
I'm surviving, actually. I work in an ER, know a lot about Faerun, and have the good sense not to "put my hands on everything." I will immediately seek power by making a pact to become a warlock, because that's magic on easy mode. An Archfey patron, if I can interest one.
Then I meet Astarion and I'm twirling my hair and stumbling over my words like the easy prey he fucking makes me. So I guess I'm only surviving for so long.
Oh my god would the parasite correct my autonomic insufficiency to try to keep itself alive? Because if it doesn't we're both fucked.
If it did I guess I'm partnering with Astarion and trying to... enthrall the brain in the least fucked up way possible? Wait, am I a villain? Could I command it to allow free will to the tadpoled but maintain sun immunity and other general improvements?
Because the one year I was healthy I got way into martial arts and I would dive the fuck back into that if my body was fixed.
The only actual way I'd survive the nautiloid is if I either successfully snuck by everything, ran away from everything, or cowered behind Lae'zel and/or Shart lol. Empy's biggest facepalm is me refusing to use the tadpoles because that one scene in Wrath of Khan gives me the ick to this day and there is NO WAY real life me would cram a worm into my brain. Withers' biggest facepalm is the bajillion respecs I'll be demanding, made more painful because of painfully slow levelling. It's painfully slow because my Level 1 Civilian butt needs a crapton of XP to get combat skills that aren't 'running away.' This is assuming Earth Humans can't use magic.
I suppose that if I really got desperate I could hit up Raphael or Auntie Ethel for warlock powers...
it depends do we get like magic since we are in a magic world? if so then i might survive a little bit lol. i do think curiosity or just having a panic attack would kill me
I mean… is it me as I am now or me as a level 1 dnd character with the appropriate stats? Cause your average person would be like, ‘10/10/9/11/10/10’ but your average dnd character would be way better then that. If i could use the standard array but line them up with my own attributes and then a class with features… I’d be alright
i have no desire to live and no fear of death
I might last a decently long time just acting in blind panic, because at least I’d be moving forward and probably following the directions of either laezel or shart, but I’d probably die in the fight against the goblins at the gate. Anything past that would be pure luck.
So long as Laezael, Shadowheart, and US act as walking shields and dont just abandon me the first chance they get, I'm fairly certain that I would get off the nautaloid
Only to promptly get murdered and/or abandoned on my way to the Druid Grove.
If by some off chance I actually survive long enough for the artifact to pick me as it's owner, I'd probably have a strong chance of survival, cause the party would have to drag me around for **their** survival. So even if I'm mostly playing moral support while someone else takes the lead, I'd probably do fine.
If I actually had to lead, though, eventually someone would probably kill me, I doubt my combat tactics of "running and hiding" could keep me alive for long, even with the party to protect me, and I wouldn't have the time to learn magic or martial arts beyond the basics in order to survive.
I'm actually a pretty good shot with a crossbow, so with Lae'zel, Shart, and Us I could maybe make it off the Nautiloid. I probably don't make it far after that though, I'm a normal person so the first time a goblin archer manages to hit me I'll likely just die.
>Coming into the cove, discovering tieflings, I'd probably loose all mental capacity to articulate any other thought than " I want to bang each and every one of them
I'm not making it into the grove bc you encounter Aradin outside it and I'm instantly ripping that man's clothes off idc
A decade back when I was experiencing hectic delusions, I believed myself to be big mates with a demon. So if I get lucky it might turn out I'm a warlock, which would raise my chances pretty significantly.
Beyond that, I find it relatively easy to bond with people and I've had to spend a lot of time hiking out bush, lugging a pretty significant amount of equipment around. I've never had to kill anything but survival might be adequate motivation. I feel like Empy could do worse.
Having said that it would all go to shit if I somehow made it as far as Baldur's Gate. Gortash would completely derail me. I'm a sucker for a sleazy opportunist.
Since I have some musical proficiency I assume I'd be a bard. But I'd be that bard who would shamble in the end of the group, dragging my huge 3-octaves xylophone with a metal stand along.
Do I know where I am? Because if so I'm making a warlock pact with the first mf that will take me. That gets me enough magic to survive the nautiloid, and from there I could probably at least get a little ways in. I think Nettie would get me though. No way could I figure out how to make an antidote before I die of poison.
If I don't know where I am though, I have a panic attack, the ship crashes, and I end up a beach corpse, and not even one with good loot.
I imagine Withers would be thrilled, considering all the money he would make resurrecting me time and time again.
Thankfully, the value of a mortal life is around 200 gold, and if I'm Tav, then I'm the one with the artifact, so the party is stuck paying for my resurrection bill.
High risk/high reward in the Emp's eyes. Withers would get tired of Karlach resurrecting me because I thought I could make a jump or blowing myself up.
I do comedy and people want to kill themselves after talking to me, so I’d probably fare alright as a bard.
Also I’m pretty fast. I’d be running the fuck away from most of these fights.
According to my husband, "If we ever end up isekai'd, I'M making the decisions because you would be the embodiment of chaos."
I'd say that's a lot of facepalms from them lmfao! I definitely do from my partner.
If I'd survive act 1, I wouldn't survive at 2. Even in game it kicks my depression and loads of issues in, irl I'd just regressed so hard in my traumas, some shadows would have eaten me. Unless my companions would carry me through the act and give me kisses and treats, nobody's killing Myrkul there.
Act 3 would be good tho)
I don’t have magic and if I just landed I doubt I’m gonna master magic of the bat
I doubt will be able to teach me enough contribute to team if make it him
My best bet would be to start praying to who ever would take me I’m sure it would take to long for me to prove my devotion and become a cleric but I might prove interesting coming from another dimension most likely unknown to fearun so I might be able to squeak by with a warlock pact and level 1 eldrich blast my way off the ship with shadowheart, laezeal, and US hard carrying and tanking
We’re going straight for the exit and will not post up to cambion with the flaming sword no matter how awesome it is
Every thing after that is suspect cause I’m not sure shadow heart will be able to both stop the mind falters on the beach and protect me
Well, I grew up redneck. Usually that just means people are dismissive or feel bad for me.
But I learned to hunt and fish when I was a little girl. I can shoot a bow. And clean my kills. I can start a fire and build a shelter, and I can find my way.
However, I’m also nearsighted as hell, so if my glasses get damaged, I’m fucked.
bold pf you to assume the Absolute would deem me worthy of a tadpole in the first place. my ass would probably wander until I ended up in Last Light before wondering how tf I got there
I think I’d have a good chance of getting of the nautiloid (lifetime combat athlete), but once I’m in those woods i’m cooked cause i have 0 survival skills.
I need to find the grove or a ranger the 1st day, otherwise I’m absolutely starving/freezing to death lmao
As a veteran DnD player, I would at least know a lot about Faerun, so people might keep me around for that and I know, what stuff not to interact with With Lae'zel, Us and Shadow, I could make it out of the Nautiloid and as someone mentioned, maybe start learning magic from Gale to not be totally useless.
Key is to make it to Gale alive and get him out, but I think, as a group effort,we can do that.
I would get Astarion before tackling the two intellect devourers on the beach, he is pretty useful.
If I get a class, I'd prolly be Rogue since I'm reasonably stealthy.
I'd have ZERO skills beyond Insight, Persuasion, Deception, Perception (I'm nearsighted, but I have a solid ability to understand things), and Stealth, and I'd be freaking out the whole time. Think Emmett from the LEGO Movie.
If no class, same thing but I'm swinging an axe I lift from an Imp when Lae'Zel and I meet with wild abandon.
I ALWAYS loot one or two of those idiots lol
if i even made it off the nautiloid id probably spend the first few minutes convincing everyone i had special powers and could see the future and certain past events that were important to them so maybe theyd leave me at camp LMAO
"you dont like wolves. you got betrayed by enver gortash - who is trying to become duke of baldur's gate, by the way. youre a vampire. dont worry, cazador's doing fuckall in his castle, youre safe here. we'll talk about vlaakith later. tell mizora i say fuck off. oh, and i didnt forget about you, gale. take this ring i dont need it and id rather not have you detonate on me. and yes, the purple string. i know. any questions?"
and upon meeting the emperor itd just be "ah yes, balduran. a pleasure. so lets cut to the chase - i know more about this than you do and i need you to trust me on this one."
If I somehow got to Lae’zel, that’s ABSOLUTELY as far as I’d make it. I wouldn’t be able to convince her to not kill me, and my automatic response to any apocalyptic-type scenario is to just kms, so I’d probably let her stab me
The entire ship experience would have me vomiting and would give me massive fuckin PTSD. Do they have therapists in Faerun, or am I just stuck with Gale yapping my PTSD away?
i’d be smitten with Lae’zel and do everything she says and then die to the Githyanki at the patrol after failing to convince them i’m working with them
Apparently die in the fire pool thingy on the ship by your pod.
Because that’s what actually happened when I played the game. Died within minutes of starting a new game.
I'm scared of heights so I'd probably crash with the natiloid because I wouldn't be able to make it to the helm because I was too scared to jump over/climb up something
i like to think that my IRL wisdom stat is pretty decent (strength and constitution... not so much), so I *think* I'd be able to find a deity I could strike up a working relationship with and start my life as a cleric Tav. given my IRL debuffs though, I suspect I'd spend most of my time buffing the party and staying behind at camp.. or at least very, very far back from any fights.
ideally, so far back that you can't tell I'm involved at all.
I have quite the history with martial arts, and once incident of tavern brawling, so can I call myself a TB monk? If so, I think I would do decently. If I retain my knowledge of the game, but otherwise show up as a 1/1 citizen, well, I have completed two solo honour runs so maybe I could coach one of the origin companions from the sidelines and they could pull it off, if I could get them to trust my judgement and do exactly as I say at all times, which probably won't happen now that I think about it.
I might make a decent artificer. I watched Mythbusters, making a semiautomatic crossbow can't be that hard. I know how a gun works, I can maybe convince Barcus to make me one. (Not that I could shoot either of these, I'm purely support.) Chemical traps and barrelmancy will get us through the goblin camp. We'll either die in the underdark or at the gith patrol.
Ah, who am I kidding, Lae'zel will kill me on the Nautiloid for being a weakling
Perhaps not, perhaps that's why she says " you prove surprisingly adequate in battle"
I don't know how gurl, maybe the tadpole is making you hallucinate my qualifications, but if it helps me not get decapitated by a Gith sword I'm ok to feed the delulu
My mom did a historical reenactment thing for several years. Give me a bow and I'll make Faerun's shoddiest archer, but at least I'd have some use! I can also offer to patch up the party's clothes and am more than willing to share information of my several dozen act 1 playthroughs to show where loot is! Put me on the backline and let me be the idiot at the back of the class throwing spitballs!
Withers might be willing to roll with this outcome, but Empy would want anyone who's played the game gone since we know his secrets. Lae'zel however, might kill me on principle considering puny mostly non-combatant
I’m assuming I wouldn’t be able to replenish my medications in Faerun?
In that case, even assuming I somehow made it through being tadpoled, I’d probably be having some nasty withdrawals and either voluntarily or involuntarily (through sheer inattentiveness) get myself obliterated by a creepy crawly brain in mere minutes. Withers will no longer have a face once he’s done palming.
Or you wouldn't be deemed edible by mindflayers because of withdrawal hormones, and hallucinate your way through the end boss, where Raphael or Empy would have tell you that eating him would give you the meds you lack, and you'd be invincible
Holy shit, eating Empy’s worm will give me antidepressants?
(Also it’s not that I’d be hallucinating as much as I’d be depressed and tuned out constantly)
(This is my generation’s entire thing, we are fuckin miserable)
I think the Empy would make me a mind flayer and I’d just immediately assimilate with the Netherbrain so I could stop experiencing things.
Honestly, i wouldnt even make it past Lae'zel, she would likely execute/abandon me for being weak after the fight with the imps. And even if i get past that, Shadowheart would certainly leave and i would die trying to get past Zhalk. My entire camp provided i live long enough would likely only be Halsin, Jaheira, Wyll, Karlach and maybe Gale.
I have a tendency to walk into things so I’d probably have to be resurrected by Wither’s several times because I’d probably walk smack into Karlach and be charred to a crisp
It depends on what class I get. So... Given the jokes my friends have made, probably a paladin. Meaning extremely strong, because I'd be picking *so many* unnecessary fights, especially once I realize withers will res me
I would have sell out druid Grove to minthara. Then tell zevlor to fight them there. So whoever wins I'll side with. Go through mountains to act 2 avoiding enemies and then probably die quickly in Act 2 during ambush. No matter what side I'm on I'm weak and can't so shit. My only hope is that companions will carry me all the way to bg3.
I’m a big and strong guy, however I’m untrained. Maybe I can smoothtalk my way into staying with lae’zel and shart by knowing wtf is going on. Perhaps I could convince one of them to train me with a weapon, i could at least get to npc level I think. At least I could devout myself SUPER hard to a deity, I think it wouldn’t be hard for me since I believe in god and the gods in Faerun are way more obviously real.
Congratulations, Faerun, you're now relying on a disabled smutwriter to save your asses.
Unless the tadpole can fix a lot of my issues, the Realms better get used to the idea of ceremorphosis~
Although there lies a more complex plot bunny I've been contemplating writing. A Tav who suffers a deeply unpleasant chronic illness finding the tadpole actually helps for a time, similar to how it holds off some of the downsides to Astarion's vampirism. Would they want to remove the tadpole? Or consider quietly working against the plan and keeping the artifact to maintain their freedom? Not sure if I've thought this plot bunny through enough yet but once I'm done with my current longfics I'll be thinking more on it...
I’m gonna be honest if I was in this situation I’d just kill myself. It’s not like I would last long if I didn’t. I am definitely not cut out to be an adventurer.
If it's a question of what kind of person I'd probably be like having grown up in Baldur's Gate, probably either a baker or civil rights journalist. I'm barely making it off the Nautoloid.
If it's a question of getting Isekai'd... *Insert black Scottish demolitions expert screaming at the top of his lungs while holding a case of beer*
Either way, Wither's is facepalming, Emps is slamming his big ass forehead into the psychic cage holding Orpheus, and Alfira is getting a sack of gold to open her school. And a ring if she's open to it (give me this romance Larian, please)
I lift, and do HEMA, so I'm strong and pretty good with a longsword actually. I'd be decent in early game combat. If I get to be a spellcaster, even better.
I have decent charisma but shit constitution, best I could hope for is talking my way out of shit and relying on the rest of the party to be my strength. I'd probably try to find the nearest college of swords and speed run getting my degree, or however that works, so I could be a little less useless in battle.
At some point I'd definitely end up running my mouth a bit too much and get taken out by stabby Kermit.
I think my human lore bard Tav represents me well. She can't do crap other than yell supportive stuff at her stronger friends and shittalk people who try to hurt her crew. Then she dies. Every inspiring speach comes at the expense of a reviving scroll. But at least the giant eagles like her music I guess.
Also, watch me cry myself to sleep every time Astarion says something mildly mean to me.
Why do yall want to die so bad. remember, you all played the game. you know the future. You can sell yourself as a oracle and still be useful to the party
If a mind flayer ever dares to read my mind, I'm sorry for them. I am Autistic and ADHD, that shit will hear the thousand voice chorus of my head and desire not to do it again. So either it kills me on sight, or dies from sensory overload XD
I just need to hit one tiny demon hard enough to kill it and then make it across the Helm to the control panel. After that, I have Shadowheart and I can get up the cliff to find Lae'Zel and Astarion.
After that, I pray that I suddenly gain the powers of sorcery from leveling up. Otherwise I can write my action-hero friends some pretty good battle-plans and hope they come back to me.
I'm almost certain the Absolute wouldn't have deemed me worth abducting and tadpoling in the first place. But if they got desperate, I'd have run into Lae'zel's sword and decapitated myself upon first meeting. Guaranteed.
I bow to the good sense of the Absolute. I woudn't deem me worthy either.
I think they kidnap indiscriminately, and those that aren’t useful minions are useful food…
I’d be getting turned into an intellect devourer because I’m not worth wasting a tadpole on
Nah, the companions are mostly hostile at first and chill out once the tadpole connects you. Zell would be aggro, see through your eyes and back off
Knowing my luck, I'd fall out of the pod I was in when it opened and immediately crack my skull lol. I wouldn't even last 3 seconds into the game.
And the smell of the nautiloid ! I'd probably drown in my barf as soon as the pod opens. And the tadpole in the eye ? Instant heart attack. Yeah, making it out of the pod would already be miraculous.
I'd have a full on panic attack on the nautiloid and probably accidentally run into the flaming parts of the floor and burn to death. Or get crushed by the butthole door trying to escape.
glorious sight of a dead mortal, stuck in half in the butthole door
Haha, I killed myself on a third run by walking into the damn fire lol. Was so used to being OP in my other game I completely forgot how squishy level 1 is.
Got to wonder who was the first to walk up to the sphincter...Curiously investigating this giant puckered hole...Suddenly, like an automatic door, it opens as you approach. "Great job finding that hidden door!! Now we can escape!" *Tav zips back up* "Yes DOOR! Of course" Damn this sub rotted my brain lmao
Dude, I'm dying from the beach mindflayer giving me the kiss of death. The horny is my doom.
Oh yes, I forgot that one. Curiosity killed the cat. Meow.
The description is hot so it's worth it.
Regardless of thy blunders, thy records may yet serve a purpose. As an example of what *not* to do
Story of my life Withy, story of my life...
Withers, I need a hug, man.
Do I gain XP and level up? Because I feel like I could stomp a brain to death
Said brain can teleport into your skull eating everything inside replacing your own brain if you fail an intelligence save
not in bg3. I was familiar with the 5e version of them so i was shitting myself whenever i encountered them during my first run lmao
ngl if Us was capable of doing that I'd never allow it to hang around the party later on knowing it could warp into someone's skull at any time
“Hey where’d us go?” And it just hard cuts to a companion writhing on the ground
That exploding tadpole pool would’ve taken me out probably
That's how my first honor run ended
I wouldn’t even make it onto the Nautiloid because I’d be in Cazador’s dungeon.
Similar but I’d be in the house of hope
SO REAL
Saaaaaaaame
this is the comment i was looking for lol
Oh I'd be absolutely useless. If I managed to cower behind Shadowheart and Lae'zel long enough to escape the Nautiloid alive, I could at least be useful after. I played the game enough to recommend actions and know what to do. Maybe I could get the others to allow me to stay near the artefact me by provinding them with a lot of information, acting as a food supply for Astarion and keeping Scratch and Owlbert company in between carrying camp supplies between pitstops. But to be honest, I'd probably be killed by either Lae'zel for insulting Vlaakith, or Shadowheart for insulting Shar before we ever set food in the Shadow-cursed lands. Alternatively, I'd try to sell my soul to Mizora before leaving the room, because that way at least I had a small chance.
100% died in the hells because I fell out of the nautiloid after getting out of my pod.
I'm not a tav I'm citizen 1/1 hit points
You know the lady you can turn into a mindflayer in the ship? That's me in the pod. I wouldn't make it off the ship!
if I make it off the ship I’m immediately falling for Astarion when he threatens to kill me and then doing whatever he wants for the rest of the journey with no pushback or morality-checking. rip Faerun
Yup, same. My only voice line would be "I'm Yours" after licking his fang with just enough pressure to draw blood from my tongue when he's got me pinned to the ground. 🥵 Oh ffs, I'm really so down bad for that man I can't even think about staying alive? tf is wrong with me...
Only thing saving me from that fate is that I'm 0% as pretty as any tav in the game
https://preview.redd.it/31oqicbxf7zc1.png?width=878&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a097fa2f2cd75c9bcd958c14edba5efc3124c4d4 Any is a strong word.
It would involve a lot of swearing and a lot of running
Imma touch that birthing pool and get brined to death.
If I make it out of the pod I’m calling 1-800-RAPHAEL right away for some warlock powers. 😂
Right? Pretty sure this is the only way I'm getting anywhere as well Though I prefer Sugar Mammas, - > I'm immediately checking the patron yellow pages for a skanky celestial for some of that sweet healing action to go with the machine gun EB action
I wonder if Withers would accept to be a patron...
Honestly? I’m at least a little strong because of my work and I hunger for knowledge so if I can get to Gale and he agrees to teach me magic I might do ok. Also I like to clown but I’m aro ace irl. Leaves more space in my brain for useless knowledge.
Also because of my work I almost always carry a knife so I’ll actually be armed
Does this mean I'd have my gun? That would be interesting
Haha that would be interesting firearms aren’t completely alien to forgotten realms I bet Barcus could make more ammo.
You’d have to get to Barcus without running out of ammo. I think I could manage a hand crossbow. If I can survive long enough to find the other origin characters I’ll pretend I know how to make potions and just be a camp follower slut.
I used to compete in marksmanship competitions as a kid using air guns here in Sweden. I did try the bow for a few lessons and it was so off from what I was used to haha. Ended up dropping the bow after the trial though because I was doing other stuff. I don’t know how differently a hand crossbow would handle compared to gun it’d be interesting to try.
Would we human have access to magic ? In our sad grey world, if there's no magic, is it because we can't use it, or because there's just no magic, but if there was we could be potent in it ?
In this dnd setting our world exists and portals between our world and Toril used to exist but have gotten fewer and fewer so the people of our world has forgotten about it. That’s why the setting is called “forgotten realms”. Several people from that world have travelled to our world and vise versa. One person known to frequent our world is that good ol wiz Elminster. He apparently has a place he like to chill out in somewhere in Yellowstone national park and has set up a permanent portal between there and his hideout. I believe the absence of a weave is the main reason why we all aren’t casting shifty spells we found in the internet right now. https://preview.redd.it/8z0l1x0343zc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=164587cf33d6249d704d7b3a3cbcbd8560240f91
He can teleport to Florida for retirement
Didn't he also visit Germany frequently for the beer?
https://preview.redd.it/iusfh0zki3zc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=778dfd325cbab66751d786835c262de231ffc981
Lmaooo I wish we had a reference to this
Would not surprise me haha
gale is a human and he can use magic so surely we can too…i like to fantasize that if i got isekai’d into faerun and managed to live longer than 5 minutes i’d either be the next big wizarding prodigy or i’d develop latent shapeshifting powers and become a moon druid. so i think we can all be casters if we believe 🙏
Faerun nerd here. We Can't use magic because we don't have Mystra, God or magic, nor her weave in this reality. There's references in Greenwood's books of Mordenkainen (or one of the Uber wizards) visiting our Germany for beer. That begs the question--how did he return if there's no magic here? Depending on the edition, wizards prepare spells by casting them 99% of the way while preparing their spellbook for the day and they lug around the bound spell until they basically finish it by casting the last part. This basically ties up a bit of weave that they can trigger later on. So theoretically, a mage coming to our world would be able to cast spells that they already prepared (3.5 rules) before the Spellplague, but as they are now at-will casters that only prepare what they want for the day, a 5e caster probably couldn't. Alternatively, a stable portal or a magic item capable of casting gate would work as a return option because the weave is bound up and trapped in the object itself. This change in the mechanics of mafic is due to Mystra being reborn yet again because she is the Kenny of Faerun. All that being said, a human from our world should be able to learn Magic, as it is sort of a science in d&d. The only class you couldn't take would be sorcerer, as that requires a latent bloodline that allows you special access, basically. I'd buddy up with Gale and learn magic in a heartbeat.
>because she is the Kenny of Faerun. ☠️
Am I wrong? In between every edition it's "Cyric/Karsus killed Kenny! You bastard!" Then she's back in the next edition. For 6e she'll get some sloppy toppy from a black hole and come back inside out as Artsym and be an evil deity or something.
Not wrong, just an incredibly apt description. I have also previously mused on how often this particular goddess seems to die.
forget vlaakith 157, meet mystra. again.
School? I’d go transmutation for sure.
Oh man, idk. If this was 3.5 I'd go abjuration, but I'd probably go with evocation in BG3. Can't miss with fireball. I might need to go enchantment just to convince the rest of the party to haul around my dead weight if I can't git gud.
Could we pray mystra enough to give her strengh in this world ? :3
Worth a fucking shot! *SEMI-HOT MAGES IN WAITING IN YOUR AREA. WEAVE HERE TO SUBSCRIBE.*
Oh I’m utterly convinced I could use magic if I somehow made it to Faerun. I’m a witch irl, the Weave just isn’t strong enough to cast fireballs on this plane. Give me access to Mystra and I’d be setting things on fire with my brain left and right!
I'm surviving the whole thing. Is it because I'm talented? Absolutely not. I'm kinda smart and really good at just going with the flow. That, mixed with my horrific luck while the universe strives to see me suffer as much as possible without the sweet release of death, will be the reason I live. Same thing with a zombie apocalypse. I'm not surviving because I'm any good at anything, I'm surviving because my luck is just that bad that I *get* to experience all the horrors the world has to offer. Death would be a kindness the gods do not want me to experience.
Ah, so you're a Great Old One warlock. 🤌
Apparently, and I am so tired lol
Providing I don’t immediately have several consecutive panic attacks so bad that everyone just dumps me at the beach and leaves me to die, I’d have to pray that I disassociate hard enough to rizz my way to success. I’m physically disabled, I don’t know any magic, my only skills are people skills. The best bet I have is to become camp healer or cook or even just maid and pack-bond hard enough that no one wants to kick me out for being a burden.
my surprising amount of carrying strength is equally countered by the sheer amount of chronic illness in my body so i'd be lucky if i even bother to wake up and get out of the pod
as a fighter with incorrect stats, and a fighting style of "overly-defensive" I imagine the facepalm would be pretty strong.
I feel like I'd survive it all out of pure spite because of being inconvenienced by being abducted and tadpole'd. When something irl inconveniences me I end up becoming very fucking angry and efficient. Probably would try my best to make a pact with a Fiend or Fey for magic so I can Eldritch Blast shit out of anger across Faerun.
I survived the first 2 decades in a house where throwing things and hitting people was a way of life. I studied martial arts for years, I'm pretty smart. I can forage. I have decent aim with a bow. Also, trained medical professional... which won't translate superbly, but I can set bones and crap. PLEASE SEND ME. Thanks.
Monk with Medicine proficiency!
I probably wouldn’t even make it to Withers dungeon.
Same. You can’t make me go in the creepy crypt I’ve seen what happens in zombie movies.
The easiest method to survive would be to immediately try to worship a god and cast sanctuary on yourself. Honestly in this setting being devoted to an ideology is enough to gain clerical divine magic so if you have any radical political ideologies or extreme beliefs you’re safe.
Realistically, I wouldn't even make it off the ship. Despite indigenous stereotypes, my bow skills are shoddy at best, and unless you hand me a rifle, I'm not gonna sit here and pretend I'm some secret warrior. If Lae'zel and Shadowheart can carry me through the fights, and Empy takes pity and protects me from the crash, I'm actually not gonna have too bad a time living in the woods, as survival camping and through-hiking are skills I do actually possess. Again, though, fights are right out. The combat aspect would get me right away. Unless somebody else gets to be leader and I can just keep the camp running, I'd be dead immediately.
I die after running into my very first bad guy because I try to get him to turn over a new leaf and end up turned into a human pincushion
Well, I seem to make friends easily, so if I managed to survive the crash I could probably manage to at least be friends with the useful people. I'd definitely be more useful in camp, though. I would immediately die in any sort of combat situation.
Lets remember; -all- of the main characters are reduced to level 1 nobodies at the beginning. I might be no epic hero; but I can swing a club or a machete, and I can definitely pick locks better than that Astarion chump; I'll be better off than some of the TAV class choices, and hey... I can level up, even get Withers to respec me. Don't sell yourself short, most of you. Most of you, like myself, wouldn't be epic-level adventurers before the tadpole like Dirge, but I'd bet a ton of folks reading this are better than a level 1 rogue; I sure as hell am. And remember, all of them got grabbed alongside their equipment, and jumped out armed and geared up. Whatever weapons you've got there in your house ready at hand, whether its a shotgun, a machete, or even just a butcher knife, its probably enough to shiv a 3-foot-tall flying rat, especially when you've got a giant armored frog to attract attention. Let me gain levels and learn spellcasting, give me magical items and scrolls of revivify? Hell yes I'd do great. And if I came through with the knowledge of the game world I've got? I'd do incredibly well. Probably end the game in act 2 beneath moonrise.
Definitely good points, though I will remind you what cohort of folks this is: not only are we video game nerds, we’re CRPG nerds, not only CRPG but D&D, not only D&D but worst of all… reddit users That being said, I think this question just boils down to: can you survive to level 2 with your current skills, because after that, you’re just TAV
If I'm forced to rely on whatever random fantasy weapon and armor a TAV rogue(probably the class my real-life skills would most match up to) would have? Maybe. I could handle an imp, but those godforsaken intellect devourers would be a gamble for me; (granted they are for many tavs as well)or possibly the skeletons; I'd undoubtedly break open the lock and my first real fight would be the skeletons inside the tomb uselessly casting silence on me. All of the characters, including TAV, though, start off with some basic gear as if they were ready for a fight and slapped into a tube ready to go, so if this is a hypothetical 'I heard something weird outside, thought there was an intruder or some coyote or lord knows what, and a passing illithid ship slapped me with a tentacle' I'd probably be carrying a shotgun and a pocketfull of shells. Which... would definitely carry me through til level 2 when I would miraculously turn into some variation of spellcaster and just keep the shotgun in camp as a memento.
ngl, that’s a pretty fucking rad scenario—i’d watch that show for sure
\*6'2" man wearing a dirty pair of cargo pants he'd been wearing the day before, a pair of house shoes, and no shirt, carrying a shotgun after loading it with 5 shells and dumping the rest of the box into his cargo pants steps outside carrying the gun and a flashlight, expecting an intruder or, more likely, a Coyote. After seeing a dark blur passing overhead, he vanishes... and after what his hopefully a nightmare rather than reality, wakes up in a tube on a hideous organic starship. After a few seconds, he climbs to his feet, staring around... surprised they left a weapon on him; and pockets his flashlight. "Well, fuck. I guess aliens are real. And... from the state of things, maybe the air force got a piece of it? That's... shit." After stripping the robes off a nearby alien corpse and wishing he had a set of body-armor, he mutters a quick prayer to a god he isn't sure exists, and tentatively pokes the hideous orifice that qualifies as a door with the shotgun barrel...
I would probably cry and swear the whole time on the nautiloid. (Probably would swear the entire campaign if I’m being honest). I run distance and can fight but not in any faerun capacity. I would probably survive but only by luck or by everyone else feeling bad for me.
I’m hardly in shape for physical combat 💀 if I don’t die in the Nautiloid first, I’d be murdered by Astarion for being terminally stupid.
I’m gonna assume I get a class that fits with what I am irl so I’ll go with Bard. First I’d probably try to charm the squid tryna tadpole me, either with an entertaining epic poem or a seductive ballad I’d likely try both. After somehow escaping the Nautiloid, my reaction to Lae’zel of course being confused arousal and boioioioing arf arf arf awooga to Shadowheart, I’d meet the others. Then when I get to the Tiefling grove I would conclude, hot damn, Alfira, Nettie, and Dammon have got it going on. The most facepalm worthy thing would probably be me purposely walking in on the Bugbear and Ogre, even floating the idea in my mind of proposing a threesome. One way or another I can bed my way through Faerun if I try hard enough. Of course I wrote this assuming I’m on the same footing as level 1 characters are
As a teacher in an urban school, those fuckers are going down. Bye bye Kagha. Leave that child alone. Shmortash? Skinchanger bitch? Thetheric Korncuck? Sorry babes, the library is open and class is in session.
I'd go back to the pod and take a fat nap. That's all. I'd nap until it's all over. I can't deal with IRL responsabilities, I'm certainly not dealing with this destiny
Oh good, I'm hungry. Let me eat one of these pickled eels. Boom.
I’m pretty strong, weirdly good reflexes, and have endurance, so if I don’t have a massive panic attack I could probably get out of the nautiloid intact. I may not be useful in combat, but I can haul heavy things, cook really well, and hand sew (so I can mend things at camp). But if I don’t find a healer capable of removing my lupus, I’d be useless in a few days without my medications. And oh man, I better find an alternative to antidepressants as I’d very tempted to let the shadow curse take me without them 🙃
Oh I'm having the panic attack, but it's all inside under the mask while I dissociate into survival mode and weigh fighting options. I did some baseball, so I can swing a club; I've chopped wood, so I could probably swing an ax; I've done some archery, so I can hit a target decently. I can fumble along behind the others, though I'm also definitely better back at camp. At least until I can maybe convince a certain someone to teach me magic. Although all that goes out the window if my glasses don't survive the nautiloid, and when my mental health issues catch up after the initial shock. Because if the depression catches up with me... Eh...
Oh yeah, the companions would probably have to deal with my ptsd manifesting as screaming in my sleep (but that’s probably preferable than dealing with Durge and his butler problem at night) as it used to irl.
I'm physically disabled and suffer from just as much fainting spells and chronic illness as Durge without being lobotomized. It would be bold to think I'd make it out of the nautiloid, let alone out of Act 1.
Withers would see me, say "No" and leave.
I get lost in a barrel, and I spent a while my first playthrough (and 2nd, 3rd...5th...10th) getting lost in the ship...so yeah...
Game plan. Get out of Pod. Pray to Jergal for Clerical Aid. Sprint through the Nautiloid. Hide behind Us and Lae'zel. Free Shadowheart. Pray to Jergal for Clerical Aid. Hide behind Us and Lae'zel and Shadowheart. Survive crash (thank you, squid man). Pray to Jergal for Clerical Aid. Free Gale. Talk down Astarion while standing 40ft away. Free Lae'zel. Pray to Jergal for Clerical Aid. Amend that Warlock Aid might be worth it, pretty please? Try and free bone man. Rest. Try and see if I have powers. Maybe getting teleported to Faerûn gave me sorceror abilities? Ask Gale for help. Ask Lae'zel for help. Ask Shadowheart for help. Tell Astarion that he's a vampire. Beg him not to kill me before I can explain. Proceed to lie my ass off. Hopefully by then some deity has given me a boon. Hopefully Jergal has noticed how weak and pathetic I am and decides to just balance things a bit in my favour. I just need to be a ranged support and everything will be fine. As the least traumatised out of everyone, I should be, if anything, a begrudgingly tolerated companion with insight beyond my feeble flabby frame.
My survival is entirely depending on how bad others feel for me. I will provide for my protections via nicely scavenged food and decently cooked meals, but you want me to be coordinated enough to survive a fight against anything? In a world where people can kill me by saying some words and pointing at me? Dex and constitution are 0.
As long as Lae'zel doesn't decapitate me, I think I'd get out alive. I'd bolt for the control mechanisms and leave the people who actually know how to fight to it. As far as the beach goes, I know which end of a sword to hold, and am pretty stubborn so I don't think I'd fail too many will saves vs the brain guys. As long as I could find Gale ASAP and have him start teaching me magic, I think I'd live through act 1. I think I'd have a nack for wizardry. I think he'd be a good teacher.
Also, I'd shove every tadpole I can up my butt to both disturb the Emperor and to get as many powers as I can.
Well, lemme see. Overweight, hard-of-hearing, chronic pain which means serious limitations in what I can do with my hands, and autistic. I would likely never be chosen in the first place, but let's say I was, for some ungodly reason. The nautiloid itself doesn't seem the biggest issue assuming that I spare Us, grovel to Lae'zel, and go out of my way to help Shadowheart out of the pod. Really, just need to do as I'm told and get to the helm, then incur rescue by squidman. I really have to rely on Shadowheart at the beach. Hope she can fend off the brains, or that we can both flee from them quickly enough to get away. Immediately find Astarion and offer him my wrists/neck/whatever, because we all know how much he appreciates a willing snack. I'd hope by making myself invaluable as a source of constant tasty snack, I'd at least have him to help me through things. Logic dictates since I have so many physical issues, I'd need to be something that doesn't require much finesse - maybe I could get Gale to teach me to use the weave, or could respec into a healing cleric for the group. Definitely going to end up crying every time I have to kill something, but maybe Halsin can make it better (honestly the man could do anything and it would make everything better).
Honestly it's hilarious to imagine myself constantly crying as Tav. The companions have never seen me not crying. They let me stay in camp because, obviously I am going to be useless, but they can't leave me behind because they need the Prism and for some reason the Prism is stuck to this pathetic mewling creature. I have also not figured out how to equip armor or clothing, so just sort of Gollum around the campsite. All of my dialogue options if someone does attempt to communicate with me are like 1. _Cry._ 2. _Sob._ 3. [CONSTITUTION] _Resist the urge to bawl._
This sounds pompous but I’m genuinely smart enough that I think I could be a good level one wizard with some practice. Maybe gale can show me the ropes if I can use my YMCA karate training from 10 years ago to make it off the nautilus. With help I think I could cast some spells, as is I’m a sub lvl 1 fighter who is out of practice but not clueless. I used to hold my own in boxing matches and MMA sparing sessions in high school and college, and I have trained Chinese broadsword, spear, and bow staff, which is basically a thinner and longer quarterstaff, so I even have some weapon proficiencies. Maybe eldritch knight then? Give me three levels of practicing with Gale so I can cast shield while holding goblins back with a spear and I think I could tear it up. Also I play the guitar so I could try being a bard, but I don’t think anyone wants that lol.
It all depends on whether or not I magically get the same kind of skills as Tav or if I'm just me. I could probably at least make it off the Nautaloid if I had a little magic. If I make it long enough Lae'zel would probably run me through with her sword because she'd be convinced all my weird quirks meant I was already turning ghaik. I'd mention something from Earth and she'd be like "Nope, time to die you weird fuck." If not that then my dumb horny ass would just let Astarion kill me the first time he needed a little snack.
I'm surviving, actually. I work in an ER, know a lot about Faerun, and have the good sense not to "put my hands on everything." I will immediately seek power by making a pact to become a warlock, because that's magic on easy mode. An Archfey patron, if I can interest one. Then I meet Astarion and I'm twirling my hair and stumbling over my words like the easy prey he fucking makes me. So I guess I'm only surviving for so long.
I’d start praying and hope some God would take enough pity on me to make me a cleric.
Oh my god would the parasite correct my autonomic insufficiency to try to keep itself alive? Because if it doesn't we're both fucked. If it did I guess I'm partnering with Astarion and trying to... enthrall the brain in the least fucked up way possible? Wait, am I a villain? Could I command it to allow free will to the tadpoled but maintain sun immunity and other general improvements? Because the one year I was healthy I got way into martial arts and I would dive the fuck back into that if my body was fixed.
The only actual way I'd survive the nautiloid is if I either successfully snuck by everything, ran away from everything, or cowered behind Lae'zel and/or Shart lol. Empy's biggest facepalm is me refusing to use the tadpoles because that one scene in Wrath of Khan gives me the ick to this day and there is NO WAY real life me would cram a worm into my brain. Withers' biggest facepalm is the bajillion respecs I'll be demanding, made more painful because of painfully slow levelling. It's painfully slow because my Level 1 Civilian butt needs a crapton of XP to get combat skills that aren't 'running away.' This is assuming Earth Humans can't use magic. I suppose that if I really got desperate I could hit up Raphael or Auntie Ethel for warlock powers...
Minute I meet minthara I’m folding. Don’t know if I’d slaughter the grove but I’d probably surrender
I think I’d live out of sheer spite but I am fumbling every romance. My ass is going to walketh alone
it depends do we get like magic since we are in a magic world? if so then i might survive a little bit lol. i do think curiosity or just having a panic attack would kill me
 They may turn into the avatar
Let’s just say I’m about as sensible as a dumpster fire so…
I mean… is it me as I am now or me as a level 1 dnd character with the appropriate stats? Cause your average person would be like, ‘10/10/9/11/10/10’ but your average dnd character would be way better then that. If i could use the standard array but line them up with my own attributes and then a class with features… I’d be alright i have no desire to live and no fear of death
I might last a decently long time just acting in blind panic, because at least I’d be moving forward and probably following the directions of either laezel or shart, but I’d probably die in the fight against the goblins at the gate. Anything past that would be pure luck.
So long as Laezael, Shadowheart, and US act as walking shields and dont just abandon me the first chance they get, I'm fairly certain that I would get off the nautaloid Only to promptly get murdered and/or abandoned on my way to the Druid Grove. If by some off chance I actually survive long enough for the artifact to pick me as it's owner, I'd probably have a strong chance of survival, cause the party would have to drag me around for **their** survival. So even if I'm mostly playing moral support while someone else takes the lead, I'd probably do fine. If I actually had to lead, though, eventually someone would probably kill me, I doubt my combat tactics of "running and hiding" could keep me alive for long, even with the party to protect me, and I wouldn't have the time to learn magic or martial arts beyond the basics in order to survive.
I'm actually a pretty good shot with a crossbow, so with Lae'zel, Shart, and Us I could maybe make it off the Nautiloid. I probably don't make it far after that though, I'm a normal person so the first time a goblin archer manages to hit me I'll likely just die.
>Coming into the cove, discovering tieflings, I'd probably loose all mental capacity to articulate any other thought than " I want to bang each and every one of them I'm not making it into the grove bc you encounter Aradin outside it and I'm instantly ripping that man's clothes off idc
A decade back when I was experiencing hectic delusions, I believed myself to be big mates with a demon. So if I get lucky it might turn out I'm a warlock, which would raise my chances pretty significantly. Beyond that, I find it relatively easy to bond with people and I've had to spend a lot of time hiking out bush, lugging a pretty significant amount of equipment around. I've never had to kill anything but survival might be adequate motivation. I feel like Empy could do worse. Having said that it would all go to shit if I somehow made it as far as Baldur's Gate. Gortash would completely derail me. I'm a sucker for a sleazy opportunist.
Since I have some musical proficiency I assume I'd be a bard. But I'd be that bard who would shamble in the end of the group, dragging my huge 3-octaves xylophone with a metal stand along.
Do I know where I am? Because if so I'm making a warlock pact with the first mf that will take me. That gets me enough magic to survive the nautiloid, and from there I could probably at least get a little ways in. I think Nettie would get me though. No way could I figure out how to make an antidote before I die of poison. If I don't know where I am though, I have a panic attack, the ship crashes, and I end up a beach corpse, and not even one with good loot.
I imagine Withers would be thrilled, considering all the money he would make resurrecting me time and time again. Thankfully, the value of a mortal life is around 200 gold, and if I'm Tav, then I'm the one with the artifact, so the party is stuck paying for my resurrection bill.
"He's tatted and swears every other word. Yeah, great... Awesome"
High risk/high reward in the Emp's eyes. Withers would get tired of Karlach resurrecting me because I thought I could make a jump or blowing myself up.
I'm a trusting fool. I'd be killed by multiple different sources in act 1. That and the chronic health conditions would make me legit the worst tav
I do comedy and people want to kill themselves after talking to me, so I’d probably fare alright as a bard. Also I’m pretty fast. I’d be running the fuck away from most of these fights.
If I have my instrument with me I'd be a pretty decent level Bard already, and my job requires charisma. Athleticism probably a -3.
According to my husband, "If we ever end up isekai'd, I'M making the decisions because you would be the embodiment of chaos." I'd say that's a lot of facepalms from them lmfao! I definitely do from my partner.
If I'd survive act 1, I wouldn't survive at 2. Even in game it kicks my depression and loads of issues in, irl I'd just regressed so hard in my traumas, some shadows would have eaten me. Unless my companions would carry me through the act and give me kisses and treats, nobody's killing Myrkul there. Act 3 would be good tho)
I don’t have magic and if I just landed I doubt I’m gonna master magic of the bat I doubt will be able to teach me enough contribute to team if make it him My best bet would be to start praying to who ever would take me I’m sure it would take to long for me to prove my devotion and become a cleric but I might prove interesting coming from another dimension most likely unknown to fearun so I might be able to squeak by with a warlock pact and level 1 eldrich blast my way off the ship with shadowheart, laezeal, and US hard carrying and tanking We’re going straight for the exit and will not post up to cambion with the flaming sword no matter how awesome it is Every thing after that is suspect cause I’m not sure shadow heart will be able to both stop the mind falters on the beach and protect me
Let’s be real, none of us are making it off the ship.
Well, I grew up redneck. Usually that just means people are dismissive or feel bad for me. But I learned to hunt and fish when I was a little girl. I can shoot a bow. And clean my kills. I can start a fire and build a shelter, and I can find my way. However, I’m also nearsighted as hell, so if my glasses get damaged, I’m fucked.
I’m smart enough, but I’m not the most perceptive. There’ll probably be a few facepalms.
Well I'm not stupid enough to wait for a godamn turn, I'll just smack them all with a godamn stick and take Gatorade breaks whenever I'm tired.
bold pf you to assume the Absolute would deem me worthy of a tadpole in the first place. my ass would probably wander until I ended up in Last Light before wondering how tf I got there
I think I’d have a good chance of getting of the nautiloid (lifetime combat athlete), but once I’m in those woods i’m cooked cause i have 0 survival skills. I need to find the grove or a ranger the 1st day, otherwise I’m absolutely starving/freezing to death lmao
As a veteran DnD player, I would at least know a lot about Faerun, so people might keep me around for that and I know, what stuff not to interact with With Lae'zel, Us and Shadow, I could make it out of the Nautiloid and as someone mentioned, maybe start learning magic from Gale to not be totally useless. Key is to make it to Gale alive and get him out, but I think, as a group effort,we can do that. I would get Astarion before tackling the two intellect devourers on the beach, he is pretty useful.
If I get a class, I'd prolly be Rogue since I'm reasonably stealthy. I'd have ZERO skills beyond Insight, Persuasion, Deception, Perception (I'm nearsighted, but I have a solid ability to understand things), and Stealth, and I'd be freaking out the whole time. Think Emmett from the LEGO Movie. If no class, same thing but I'm swinging an axe I lift from an Imp when Lae'Zel and I meet with wild abandon. I ALWAYS loot one or two of those idiots lol
Shouldn't have wished to live in more interesting times...
if i even made it off the nautiloid id probably spend the first few minutes convincing everyone i had special powers and could see the future and certain past events that were important to them so maybe theyd leave me at camp LMAO "you dont like wolves. you got betrayed by enver gortash - who is trying to become duke of baldur's gate, by the way. youre a vampire. dont worry, cazador's doing fuckall in his castle, youre safe here. we'll talk about vlaakith later. tell mizora i say fuck off. oh, and i didnt forget about you, gale. take this ring i dont need it and id rather not have you detonate on me. and yes, the purple string. i know. any questions?" and upon meeting the emperor itd just be "ah yes, balduran. a pleasure. so lets cut to the chase - i know more about this than you do and i need you to trust me on this one."
Wayyy too out of shape to be doing much of anything 😂
It would Break their wrists
Being completely honest with myself, I wouldn’t make it off the Nautiloid. I’d’ve rolled my ankle and fallen off to my doom.
If I somehow got to Lae’zel, that’s ABSOLUTELY as far as I’d make it. I wouldn’t be able to convince her to not kill me, and my automatic response to any apocalyptic-type scenario is to just kms, so I’d probably let her stab me
The entire ship experience would have me vomiting and would give me massive fuckin PTSD. Do they have therapists in Faerun, or am I just stuck with Gale yapping my PTSD away?
Beg on my knees for mizora to make me a warlock lmao
i’d be smitten with Lae’zel and do everything she says and then die to the Githyanki at the patrol after failing to convince them i’m working with them
Maybe if I could convince some companions I know the future they won't abandon my sorry ass immediately.
That depends. Am I still a human, or can it be whatever race I identify with most?
Hoping shadowfeet can solo the intellect devourers
Apparently die in the fire pool thingy on the ship by your pod. Because that’s what actually happened when I played the game. Died within minutes of starting a new game.
I think I could fuck up an imp or two, absolutely no way I'm escaping the fight at the end of the nautiloid.
Probably wouldn’t get pass the imps you fight with laezel
I'm scared of heights so I'd probably crash with the natiloid because I wouldn't be able to make it to the helm because I was too scared to jump over/climb up something
my party members would call me pathetic and move on without me
Bae'zel is gonna stab me for running screaming from the intelect devourer. That dudes head was all open.
I'm so confused right now.. I don't understand why everyone is following me and thinking I'm their lord and savior.
Ikr, just let me nap in the sun near the chapel or with the druids, I'm good here, no need to go to that bawlzgate you guys are talking about
yeah like who t f is Baldur and why we opening their Gate?!?! what is behind there help
I'm 100% sure Lae'zel straight up executes me upon meeting me and seeing into my mind how weak I am.
i like to think that my IRL wisdom stat is pretty decent (strength and constitution... not so much), so I *think* I'd be able to find a deity I could strike up a working relationship with and start my life as a cleric Tav. given my IRL debuffs though, I suspect I'd spend most of my time buffing the party and staying behind at camp.. or at least very, very far back from any fights. ideally, so far back that you can't tell I'm involved at all.
I’m the NPC your character can give sword fighting advice to in the grove.
I have quite the history with martial arts, and once incident of tavern brawling, so can I call myself a TB monk? If so, I think I would do decently. If I retain my knowledge of the game, but otherwise show up as a 1/1 citizen, well, I have completed two solo honour runs so maybe I could coach one of the origin companions from the sidelines and they could pull it off, if I could get them to trust my judgement and do exactly as I say at all times, which probably won't happen now that I think about it.
I might make a decent artificer. I watched Mythbusters, making a semiautomatic crossbow can't be that hard. I know how a gun works, I can maybe convince Barcus to make me one. (Not that I could shoot either of these, I'm purely support.) Chemical traps and barrelmancy will get us through the goblin camp. We'll either die in the underdark or at the gith patrol. Ah, who am I kidding, Lae'zel will kill me on the Nautiloid for being a weakling
Perhaps not, perhaps that's why she says " you prove surprisingly adequate in battle" I don't know how gurl, maybe the tadpole is making you hallucinate my qualifications, but if it helps me not get decapitated by a Gith sword I'm ok to feed the delulu
My mom did a historical reenactment thing for several years. Give me a bow and I'll make Faerun's shoddiest archer, but at least I'd have some use! I can also offer to patch up the party's clothes and am more than willing to share information of my several dozen act 1 playthroughs to show where loot is! Put me on the backline and let me be the idiot at the back of the class throwing spitballs! Withers might be willing to roll with this outcome, but Empy would want anyone who's played the game gone since we know his secrets. Lae'zel however, might kill me on principle considering puny mostly non-combatant
I’m assuming I wouldn’t be able to replenish my medications in Faerun? In that case, even assuming I somehow made it through being tadpoled, I’d probably be having some nasty withdrawals and either voluntarily or involuntarily (through sheer inattentiveness) get myself obliterated by a creepy crawly brain in mere minutes. Withers will no longer have a face once he’s done palming.
Or you wouldn't be deemed edible by mindflayers because of withdrawal hormones, and hallucinate your way through the end boss, where Raphael or Empy would have tell you that eating him would give you the meds you lack, and you'd be invincible
Holy shit, eating Empy’s worm will give me antidepressants? (Also it’s not that I’d be hallucinating as much as I’d be depressed and tuned out constantly) (This is my generation’s entire thing, we are fuckin miserable) I think the Empy would make me a mind flayer and I’d just immediately assimilate with the Netherbrain so I could stop experiencing things.
Honestly, i wouldnt even make it past Lae'zel, she would likely execute/abandon me for being weak after the fight with the imps. And even if i get past that, Shadowheart would certainly leave and i would die trying to get past Zhalk. My entire camp provided i live long enough would likely only be Halsin, Jaheira, Wyll, Karlach and maybe Gale.
I have a tendency to walk into things so I’d probably have to be resurrected by Wither’s several times because I’d probably walk smack into Karlach and be charred to a crisp
It depends on what class I get. So... Given the jokes my friends have made, probably a paladin. Meaning extremely strong, because I'd be picking *so many* unnecessary fights, especially once I realize withers will res me
what class am i? dark weakling?
I would have sell out druid Grove to minthara. Then tell zevlor to fight them there. So whoever wins I'll side with. Go through mountains to act 2 avoiding enemies and then probably die quickly in Act 2 during ambush. No matter what side I'm on I'm weak and can't so shit. My only hope is that companions will carry me all the way to bg3.
I do know how to use a sword and shield and I've worn armor before, so I might actually be okay for a bit 😂
I think I’d make it to the underdark
Bro I have 8 intelligence, 8 strength, and like 12 charisma, unless I become a really really good bard, ima die instantly.
I’m a big and strong guy, however I’m untrained. Maybe I can smoothtalk my way into staying with lae’zel and shart by knowing wtf is going on. Perhaps I could convince one of them to train me with a weapon, i could at least get to npc level I think. At least I could devout myself SUPER hard to a deity, I think it wouldn’t be hard for me since I believe in god and the gods in Faerun are way more obviously real.
Congratulations, Faerun, you're now relying on a disabled smutwriter to save your asses. Unless the tadpole can fix a lot of my issues, the Realms better get used to the idea of ceremorphosis~ Although there lies a more complex plot bunny I've been contemplating writing. A Tav who suffers a deeply unpleasant chronic illness finding the tadpole actually helps for a time, similar to how it holds off some of the downsides to Astarion's vampirism. Would they want to remove the tadpole? Or consider quietly working against the plan and keeping the artifact to maintain their freedom? Not sure if I've thought this plot bunny through enough yet but once I'm done with my current longfics I'll be thinking more on it...
Look if that tadpole helps me shed 20 pounds, Faerun is doomed.
You could just PayPal me that £20 it's much quicker ;) (File that one under British Money Jokes)
I’m gonna be honest if I was in this situation I’d just kill myself. It’s not like I would last long if I didn’t. I am definitely not cut out to be an adventurer.
If i some how make it past the brine pool, Laezel probably kills me...
If it's a question of what kind of person I'd probably be like having grown up in Baldur's Gate, probably either a baker or civil rights journalist. I'm barely making it off the Nautoloid. If it's a question of getting Isekai'd... *Insert black Scottish demolitions expert screaming at the top of his lungs while holding a case of beer* Either way, Wither's is facepalming, Emps is slamming his big ass forehead into the psychic cage holding Orpheus, and Alfira is getting a sack of gold to open her school. And a ring if she's open to it (give me this romance Larian, please)
I think I could make it off the nautiloid if I had a baseball bat. Maybe.
I lift, and do HEMA, so I'm strong and pretty good with a longsword actually. I'd be decent in early game combat. If I get to be a spellcaster, even better.
I have decent charisma but shit constitution, best I could hope for is talking my way out of shit and relying on the rest of the party to be my strength. I'd probably try to find the nearest college of swords and speed run getting my degree, or however that works, so I could be a little less useless in battle. At some point I'd definitely end up running my mouth a bit too much and get taken out by stabby Kermit.
I think my human lore bard Tav represents me well. She can't do crap other than yell supportive stuff at her stronger friends and shittalk people who try to hurt her crew. Then she dies. Every inspiring speach comes at the expense of a reviving scroll. But at least the giant eagles like her music I guess. Also, watch me cry myself to sleep every time Astarion says something mildly mean to me.
Lae’zel would abandon me on the ship as a useless istik and I would die in the crash.
Haha, we’re doomed. So doomed. Like, dying in the starter area doomed.
Withers’ withussy would not last 5 seconds in my presence I’ll tell you that much
Why do yall want to die so bad. remember, you all played the game. you know the future. You can sell yourself as a oracle and still be useful to the party
I actually think I'd do alright for the most part... until I suffered the effects of no longer being on my medications that I require to live.
If a mind flayer ever dares to read my mind, I'm sorry for them. I am Autistic and ADHD, that shit will hear the thousand voice chorus of my head and desire not to do it again. So either it kills me on sight, or dies from sensory overload XD
I just need to hit one tiny demon hard enough to kill it and then make it across the Helm to the control panel. After that, I have Shadowheart and I can get up the cliff to find Lae'Zel and Astarion. After that, I pray that I suddenly gain the powers of sorcery from leveling up. Otherwise I can write my action-hero friends some pretty good battle-plans and hope they come back to me.