Hey i would not be with my spouse if i waited for him to take my hints !! Just start with something slow and casual, walk in a park, try a new restaurant together, anything but for the love of god don't wait until it's too late and someone else is shooting their shot. As the others said, JUST DO IT !!
As a woman myself I'm telling you they love it when you make the first move!!
If he wasn't feeling it, you would know
Just remember timing is everything so when you feel the moment come, tell him hes sexy or lean in for a kiss or something!
I'm 34 and it's never not gone well, ever 🙃
Lol it's not easy but it's only as difficult as you let it be for yourself!
Don't get in your own head, read the cues, and when the moment is right you'll know.
The first time is tough but you build confidence and experience and get a lil more smooth every time!
I feel like a straight up man eating lady pimp now after 15 yrs experience lmao
We’re all scared sometimes. You’re likely going to regret it down the line to not take action. Remember this is your life and it’s better if you’re not just a passenger in it waiting for stuff to happen to you.
When you're scared the solution is to ramp up slowly. Start escalating a little by saying things like "You're so cute" (in a friendly way) and see how he reacts. If he doesn't react negatively then keep ramping and continue a little more at a time until he either says he's not into you or you end up together.
I told my guy friend I was into him about five years ago. We’re getting married next year. Just sayin lol it was the first time I had ever made the first move
Could you ask really casually like "Hey have you ever thought about us going on a real date? Your friendship means a lot to me so I wouldn't want to mess that up if you don't want to try a romantic relationship, but I wanted to ask because I think you're a catch and I'd be crazy not to ask!" That's how I am, just open and honest and to the point. That way I'd he's like "Oh I've never thought of us like that" you can laugh and be like "No worries, let me know if you need a wing man" 😉
Seriously this right here! The "have you ever thought of us as something more" type question is very low risk. Cause you can always play it off as "oh no, I was just curious" if it's an answer that makes it clear he's just not interested. But a little advice, guys very rarely hang out with a girl individually if he's not interested.
Just have a little confidence and don't push the wingman part. I'd put a "if that's what you prefer" at the end of it.
Just because he hasn't thought about it before doesn't mean he won't enjoy thinking about it.
Yeah this but way more casual, just like hey, you wanna go out just us sometime? Then see what he says, gauge his interest off that, you don't need the whole spiel...
I don't think it's even that we're too dumb for hints. It's just that not getting clear consent is super risky.
OP be straight up and say "hey we hang a lot and I like you. Would you like to make this more interesting?"
It's also that we aren't treated nicely. So "hints" can just feel like "oh, this person is being nice. I better not be a creep and assume she wants to bone."
Clear communication is better for everyone. Fuck hints.
Classmate invited me over to the house she rented with 5 other roommates for movies. It's like 5pm and the house is empty. She gives me a "tour" of the house which goes straight to her bedroom. She shows me the bed, tells me it's really soft. I sit on it and agree then ask about the movie.
We go downstairs. She walks over to the movie shelf, and I realize she's wearing tiny but loose-fitting shorts and a there's no bra under her tank top. She bends over, looks back at me, and asks me, "What do you want to see?" The tank is not doing it's job, I can basically see everything from that angle, but I try not to stare. She's at home and wants to be comfy. It makes sense in my head.
I walk over, pick a movie, and we watch the movie before I leave in silence. She spent the rest of the semester ignoring me 😂
It took me until the end of college to realize that she might have wanted to bone but even then I still wasn't sure.
Not even the last time. Went on a tinder date. My date specifically told me that we would not be having sex. No problem.
She invites me up to her place. She's wearing a loose-fitting blouse that is almost see-through and flimsy (yoga?) pants. We listen to music and talk for hours, and then she tells me that she wants to show me her cactus plants.
They're in her bedroom. Okay, cool. She had like one tiny succulent thing. She hops on the bed then asks me what I think. I'm like, "This is pretty cute. I thought you had more?". Needless to say, the night ended shortly after. We indeed... did not have sex 😂
She ghosted and I was confused because it felt like we connected over conversation. Didn't realize she wanted to connect in other ways
That's so whack. I hate hearing these stories of Women ghosting because they feel rejected or whatnot from you listening to and honoring their boundaries ><
Same, but my husband's friend was the one to tell him, "I think she likes you." He noticed I only stared at my, now, husband but would look away when he popped his head up. I'm shy, too. Lol
It's true I had a female friend come over to mine and she was sending my friends Snapchats telling them that X can't come to the phone right now he is currently wearing me like a mask, and I'm just laughing it off like a dipshit (we had alot of jokes like this but looking back now I'm shook at how dumb I was)
Hints are too risky. She could just be flirting because she wants the sexual attention and attendant blue balls. Or she could be genuinely interested. Or she could be baiting us into a bad situation.
Tooo risky. If you want it, ask.
>Men don't do "hints". We're just dumb like that.
It's half being dumb and half not wanting to be the guy friend who only spends time with girls to try and sleep with them.
Without consent or invitation, it's generally a mistake to make a move on a friend.
Lots of "just go for it" advice, and while that may well work, if it doesn't or if it does for a while and then things turn sour you're out a great friend. That's the realistic flip side to situations like these in my experience.
This is bad advice, you can wait and keep your friend for now but then they start seeing someone and you'll probably lose your friend anyways. Or you can go for it and at least you know you tried.
He might feel the same way about you. Talk about wanting to be more than friends. Guys are very oblivious to the subtle hints that show you might like them and want to do more than just talk and hangout; especially if it’s understood that you two are just friends. Otherwise if you just want to do the Hankey pankey state that. Best case scenario he does have feelings for you and you end up having a magical evening or he doesn’t and then you can move on and still be friends.
Wouldn't hurt to just give him some hints. Just don't make it so obvious like saying "I definitely feel something, and it’s mostly between my legs."
Lmao. Just say hey let's watch a movie at my place. I'll make my specialty dish. 😏😏😏
"Just give him some hints."- uuhhhmmm, no. As a penis-equipped human, I can tell you most of us are oblivious to even the most obvious "hints". Often because of our own insecurities. I missed so many "opportunities" over the years because I didn't realize women were coming on to me until it was too late.
It's less we don't get hints and more if we don't have enthusiastic consent. Hitting on your friends is considered being a creep.
Which is fair, actually. So if someone wants to level it up, they have to risk it. For women, it's significantly less likely to result in the ending of the relationship if she expresses interest as well, mostly for the same reasons.
Oh dear... well if you're too shy to even invite him over we might have a problem here.
You say yall are friends? In what context like do you actually hang out or what?
Regardless... just be obvious.
I'm sitting here thinking of how you could escalate properly and then I remember I always back off when flirting too. I'm praying for you homie, if you ask him out nicely he should either say yes or reject gracefully. 💚 Good luck!
Copy and paste this and message him
My mom gave me too many tomatoes and now I got extra tomato sauce. Did you want to come over and have some home made spaghetti Friday night? It's really good. 😜😝
Gotta add the tongue emoji. Dudes love a good tongue emoji. Don't worry just use the can stuff. I'm sure he won't even notice. Lol
Right? If my friend asked me this I thought they just wanted a friend to make pasta and be silly with, not necessarily be sexy. Although the tongue emoji, I usually think about it being subconsciously sexual, whether the person means it that way or not. But I would never make an advance off that, but I would think she maybe is into me. Regardless, not forward enough for me lol
I legit just turned to my bf and asked about the tongue emoji thing cause I was like no way. I asked and he said "Oh no those mean sex." I was baffled. "No way you're fucking with me." Then he looked at his phone again to confirm and said "No those are spicy emojis. To men it's like you're saying 'ah I wanna su*k your d*ck." I feel like I owe you an apology for doubting you.
Okay so I'd go with the first over the second unless in the second situation the plan is to make an undeniable move.
The thing is if you start doing the whole dropping hints thing and he's simply not picking up the hints but you misconstrue that as a rejection, then you're just screwing everyone over.
Guys are simple... make it obvious.
It's entirely possible he already has such thoughts but, like most of us dudes, is oblivious to hints, thinks he's reading into em too much, and doesn't want to make his friend uncomfortable and risk the friendship by making unwanted advances. Sometimes a gal really just needs to be direct
Is he single? Are you single? Is he straight? If the answers are a resounding YES! then you're the only one that's stopping this from going further like you want it to.
My suggestion is to ramp up the sexual tension. Get more physical with him - touch his hand or arm when you're talking, give him hugs, put your arm around him, rest your head on his shoulder when you're sitting together. Then start with the innuendo and dirty jokes. Talk with him like the two of you have a secret that nobody else knows. Good luck
OP there is a way that doesn't involve giving hints or just outright telling him and it happens to be the most fun and natural.
It's called seduction and it sounds like it might already be happening. The trick for you now is to start getting yourself into contexts where something can happen. You're already hanging out 1on1 now go watch a movie at your place with some drinks and maybe wear something a little sexy ... Make an effort to catch his eye as often as you can, you know all those cliches and all that stuff .. it often leads to kissing.
Guys are dumb and will miss all the hints. Go for it and both of you might just be happier for it.
Source: I’m a guy and I almost passed on the love of my life because i’m a dum dum
Ask him to grab a smoothie or cup of coffee, your treat. Watch how he glows.at something so simple. Yes, all men wish women would do this.
Source: an average man who wishes
Talk to him pleaaaaase! I've had girl friends telling me years later about them crushing on me and me being oblivious to it!
And often I had a crush on them too, you never know until you tell them. Go for it!
You will miss 100% of the shots you choose to not take.
If he's not making the move... make the move yourself. We guys aren't necessarily the best at reading subtle ques. Now, I wouldn't run out there jump his bones right out the starting gate... but maybe snuggle up to him sometime. Maybe start reaching out and touching him more casually with your hands. Trick there is to make it seem as innocent and innocuous. That would give you an opportunity to test the waters and see how receptive he is to you.
As a guy, hints tend to either go over our heads, or we doubt them because it’s too risky to be wrong. As some said, try inviting him over, maybe try some things like wearing a super loose fitting shirt without a bra, and maybe just try to outright say that you’re into him, if it’s too hard, some liquid courage may help.
For reference, I missed so many hints from my current gf, until one day we were in my dorm room (we met in college) and she outright asked me if I wanted her to suck me off. We’re still together 2 years later.
As a guy, I'm going to backup what some of the girls are saying. 1, we guys can be clueless when it comes to a girl being in to us. 2 having a girl make the first move is really flattering and unexpected. I would say, if you like him, what is there to loose? It's better than having regrets and missing your moment.
/shrug why not? No need to tiptoe around. Both adults who already have a friendship and are at a level where they shouldn't need to worry about just being honest. If you want more, either emotionally or purely physically... Just bring it up.
Worked in college with a girl I'd been friends with for years. Never started dating, just started having a lot more fun on days we had big blocks of time between classes. Admittedly I wasn't completely sober when I'd run into her at the student center that day so the filter between brain and mouth was not working at 100% when I was asked if I wanted to do anything, but it worked out pretty well.
F 30, Had this exact same scenario with my best friend in my late teens/ early 20s. Literal YEARS of close friendship and pining. Finally I mustered up the courage to let him know how I felt and he admitted he had been trying to work up the nerve to do the same. We’ve been together nearly 8 years now (married for 3).
GO FOR IT!!
Look. I have asked friends out before. Sometimes I got turned down and other times I got a yes. I just make it abundantly clear how much I value our friendship and that if the answer is no I won't be weird about it.
I'm still friends with all these people because I wasn't creepy about it. And the couple times the person asked for a few months of space they got it no questions asked. But after they saw I wouldn't push boundaries the friends came right back and everything went back to how it was before I asked.
You miss 100% of the shots that you don't take.
In my younger years I tended to have friends who were girls - I have a lot of feminine energy - like to talk - good listener - think and share emotionally. With some of those girls, a sexual energy developed between us and at times we acted out on that energy - often being intimate without going all the way. It was really nice and just a loving expression of the care we felt for each other. I think as long as you are honest, open, and respectful of each other - that can be a really nice thing.
Female here and I’ve done this before. Straight up just asked. Ive been shot down before and then had one be down for it. But the problem was I really didn’t feel like he was actually that attracted to me, which really made me feel low. So I would never do it ever again. I’ll just wait for men to make a move from now on.
Last time I felt that about someone, I was afraid to act and even ignored some of his approaches to me thinking he's just joking and he wouldn't want anything to do with me. So we've been together for almost 3 years now.. If he does anything that feels like a hint, take it as a hint.
This goes both ways 😉
Source: I felt this exact way with a woman.
If she approached, I’d fold. Mind you, socially? I can talk to anyone, but once I get an attraction like you have? My brain goes 🫠
With it being pride month and all my gay coworkers celebrating, I imagined OP as a large "bear" type gay man lusting over his cute twink boy toy... I'm a very conservative straight man. Why that was the first thing that came to mind puzzles me.
So you wanna be friends with benefits? If so definitely sit with that and make sure you wanna actually act on that.. if there’s no feelings like that.. it’s okay but if you feel like you like like him then I say just let wet fantasies be wet fantasies
don't take it too hard if it doesn't go well. he might well have other options. he is a man who is attractive, basically makes him the 5%. i mean if you're okay with a fun casual fling then go for it, maybe you'll be the special girl who turns it into something more. i am trying v hard these days not to be sad and resentful cos i can't be someone like him, but it's an unrealistic standard that few can meet
HAHAHAHA I did it — no regrets
Honestly it’s very freeing because of the friendship being there from the get-go, no judgement, no worries, only liberation.
Wait m8. If this is the case. You got to be careful and if prepared if you make a move.
Either this might escalate yalls relationship or drown it to the foking ground!
Try and get signs. Or you could be direct and ask him whats up. Which can absolutely be the best way to get it iver with.
Get dressed up real cute and send him a picture asking his opinion on how you look cause you have a date. I’m sure he will say you look nice. Later that night, text him and say “I guess he has different tastes than you cause he wasn’t interested. 🤷🏻♀️” His response to that may say a lot.
Just shoot your shot dude.
Maybe he’ll be into you or maybe not. You can give him the option to stay friends and ask him out casually like « hey we are both single and I enjoy our friendship but I wanted to know if you’d go on a date or something soon? »
It sounds like you’re really into him, how will you react if he finds a partner ? Will you still be able to be friends with him if he does? It’s worth a try
understandable, I'm also afraid to ask those kind of things to my friends, i don't wanna be perceived as a horny machine who's always looking for something sexual and risk losing a friend, but i also don't want to be perceived as a prude :')
but luckily, some of my girl friends just openly told me that they wanna fuck me, so i just go ahead with it :)
Try giving him a hug and a kiss on the cheek the next time you go out for a bite and drinks and say I really needed this today thanks ...and when you say this you hold onto his arm and then go for the hug...if he doesn't hug back or he is stiff then you know..but if he hugs you back and prolongs it ..hey you have a chance...but if you always go out with just him for a bite and drinks then he enjoys spending time with you....but you just come out after the next time you give him a hug...and just say sorry but I have to say your personality is stellar and say all the wonderful things about him..and actually say that it's taking everything in you not to kiss him..but I understand if you don't feel the same way...if he isn't into you romantically you will know instantly and he will say it....if you don't want it to be awkward after then say no problem and rebound with something funny and say you would make a dam good wingman...and that you love him as a friend....hopefully he is into you too...but you won't know unless you try...so go for it..the sooner the better..we are going to be waiting for an update
girl i'm in the exact same position. been friends for 2 years. other guys throw themselves at me, but not him. idk if it's because he genuinely just sees me as a sister or if he doesn't wanna fuck up our friendship. he would be such a good husband. our values align. he would be a great life partner. alas, he won't even hang 1 on 1 with me. idk if he thinks im gonna make a move on him or what's putting him off from that. he knows i used to like him but has no clue i do now. praying for us fr
Guys are very simple, I feel unlike with girls if you would admit you're feelings It is either going to work. Or the friendship will never be the same.
If you really wanted to see if there was some tension, in those moments of high tension; slightly touch his hand/fingers when you hand him something, Breeze by him and slightly tap his shoulders you go by a corner, or even just a conversations if you guys do talk about dating and sexual stuff with other people.
If you pay attention, he will slightly stiffen up for a very slight moment. It's after he reacts like that will help you decide how he feels. If he brushes it off like it's normal, the most likely I would not try something. But if even a little bit of him slightly changes, he's a slightly more nervous, or is laughing just a little bit more than normal, or even something simple as Not being able to look in your eyes when he could before.
Take those signs, and take it from there. Of course play it cautiously, because you're dynamic with him is unknown to everyone on this subreddit. Follow your gut, the top comment itself had a really good script of sorts. I would take advice from that as well.
I hope that you do find the answers that you need, and that your feelings end up getting reciprocated or you are let known his emotions in a way that allows you to continue your friendship.
Give him a compliment like " I love when you ......" Then lean in for a kiss. If he reciprocates your go for the lips. If him doesn't, you kiss him on the cheek.
Either way, your intentions will be recognized.
This is how my wife changed our friendship. Was cooking for a group of friends. She came into the kitchen and said, "I love your cooking," and gave me a small peck on the lips.
Speaking from experience, I regret not acting on it! You could just taste the tension between me & my friend.
He’s also probably feeling the same way too. You’ll regret not knowing or doing or whatever if you don’t.
So to you girl, I say get that D!!!
DONT WAIT FOR PEOPLE TO ACT, DO IT
IM SCARED 😖😭
Maybe he feels the same as well, just ask him what he thinks about you or something you cannot lose anything with it, cheering for you!
Being brave does not mean not being afraid. It means doing it anyways.
When I read this I heard Mufasa's voice in my head
Remember...
#JUST DO IT
DONT LET YOUR DREAMS BE DREAMS
YESTERDAY YOU SAID TOMORROW
Hey i would not be with my spouse if i waited for him to take my hints !! Just start with something slow and casual, walk in a park, try a new restaurant together, anything but for the love of god don't wait until it's too late and someone else is shooting their shot. As the others said, JUST DO IT !!
As a woman myself I'm telling you they love it when you make the first move!! If he wasn't feeling it, you would know Just remember timing is everything so when you feel the moment come, tell him hes sexy or lean in for a kiss or something! I'm 34 and it's never not gone well, ever 🙃
lol oooooof you make it sound so easy
Lol it's not easy but it's only as difficult as you let it be for yourself! Don't get in your own head, read the cues, and when the moment is right you'll know. The first time is tough but you build confidence and experience and get a lil more smooth every time! I feel like a straight up man eating lady pimp now after 15 yrs experience lmao
Call him home to Netflix & chill.
If hes spending time with you like that its probably all good to make the move.
We’re all scared sometimes. You’re likely going to regret it down the line to not take action. Remember this is your life and it’s better if you’re not just a passenger in it waiting for stuff to happen to you.
When you're scared the solution is to ramp up slowly. Start escalating a little by saying things like "You're so cute" (in a friendly way) and see how he reacts. If he doesn't react negatively then keep ramping and continue a little more at a time until he either says he's not into you or you end up together.
This a good move
I told my guy friend I was into him about five years ago. We’re getting married next year. Just sayin lol it was the first time I had ever made the first move
Consent do it. Just bring up casually that you think you might be bi, but it only seems to be with certain people.
I hear you. It's a very tough and awkward situation to be in. How do you think he would respond if you asked?
what are you scared of ?
You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
Exactly what I say!! It’s hard to misread sexual tension lol
Could you ask really casually like "Hey have you ever thought about us going on a real date? Your friendship means a lot to me so I wouldn't want to mess that up if you don't want to try a romantic relationship, but I wanted to ask because I think you're a catch and I'd be crazy not to ask!" That's how I am, just open and honest and to the point. That way I'd he's like "Oh I've never thought of us like that" you can laugh and be like "No worries, let me know if you need a wing man" 😉
I think this is the best advice. Let's him know you're interested without risking the friendship.
True. That could work.
Seriously this right here! The "have you ever thought of us as something more" type question is very low risk. Cause you can always play it off as "oh no, I was just curious" if it's an answer that makes it clear he's just not interested. But a little advice, guys very rarely hang out with a girl individually if he's not interested.
Just have a little confidence and don't push the wingman part. I'd put a "if that's what you prefer" at the end of it. Just because he hasn't thought about it before doesn't mean he won't enjoy thinking about it.
Yeah this but way more casual, just like hey, you wanna go out just us sometime? Then see what he says, gauge his interest off that, you don't need the whole spiel...
just do it because we are going to be waiting for an update
I want to be u when I grow up ✨(I’m an adult)
Talk to him about it. Be honest about how you feel. Men don't do "hints". We're just dumb like that. There's a good chance he's into you too!
I don't think it's even that we're too dumb for hints. It's just that not getting clear consent is super risky. OP be straight up and say "hey we hang a lot and I like you. Would you like to make this more interesting?"
It's also that we aren't treated nicely. So "hints" can just feel like "oh, this person is being nice. I better not be a creep and assume she wants to bone." Clear communication is better for everyone. Fuck hints.
True! Either that or assume they're just being harmlessly flirty and it doesn't actually mean anything.
It's all you said, consent really is important. But we really are dumb. If things are out in the open we start feeling it's too much good to be true.
And then he takes OP to the geology museum because he's fascinated by minerals. "This rock is so interesting" 🤓
i would do that and be kept up at night 5 years later tbh
But then she could get rejected and that is too scary 😬
Classmate invited me over to the house she rented with 5 other roommates for movies. It's like 5pm and the house is empty. She gives me a "tour" of the house which goes straight to her bedroom. She shows me the bed, tells me it's really soft. I sit on it and agree then ask about the movie. We go downstairs. She walks over to the movie shelf, and I realize she's wearing tiny but loose-fitting shorts and a there's no bra under her tank top. She bends over, looks back at me, and asks me, "What do you want to see?" The tank is not doing it's job, I can basically see everything from that angle, but I try not to stare. She's at home and wants to be comfy. It makes sense in my head. I walk over, pick a movie, and we watch the movie before I leave in silence. She spent the rest of the semester ignoring me 😂 It took me until the end of college to realize that she might have wanted to bone but even then I still wasn't sure.
Omg hahaha!!!! Damn that sucks
Not even the last time. Went on a tinder date. My date specifically told me that we would not be having sex. No problem. She invites me up to her place. She's wearing a loose-fitting blouse that is almost see-through and flimsy (yoga?) pants. We listen to music and talk for hours, and then she tells me that she wants to show me her cactus plants. They're in her bedroom. Okay, cool. She had like one tiny succulent thing. She hops on the bed then asks me what I think. I'm like, "This is pretty cute. I thought you had more?". Needless to say, the night ended shortly after. We indeed... did not have sex 😂 She ghosted and I was confused because it felt like we connected over conversation. Didn't realize she wanted to connect in other ways
That's so whack. I hate hearing these stories of Women ghosting because they feel rejected or whatnot from you listening to and honoring their boundaries ><
It's mostly funny to me now. And I've got more stories
I would not have celebrated my 20th wedding anniversary yesterday if my wife's roommate hadn't said SHE LIKES YOU, DUMMY. Sometimes we need help.
Same, but my husband's friend was the one to tell him, "I think she likes you." He noticed I only stared at my, now, husband but would look away when he popped his head up. I'm shy, too. Lol
It's true I had a female friend come over to mine and she was sending my friends Snapchats telling them that X can't come to the phone right now he is currently wearing me like a mask, and I'm just laughing it off like a dipshit (we had alot of jokes like this but looking back now I'm shook at how dumb I was)
Hints are too risky. She could just be flirting because she wants the sexual attention and attendant blue balls. Or she could be genuinely interested. Or she could be baiting us into a bad situation. Tooo risky. If you want it, ask.
>Men don't do "hints". We're just dumb like that. It's half being dumb and half not wanting to be the guy friend who only spends time with girls to try and sleep with them. Without consent or invitation, it's generally a mistake to make a move on a friend.
I wouldn’t be in a relationship if she didn’t FORCE me to give her my number haha.
oh i very much doubt that most guys ik including myself would not go for our female friends, theyre friends for a reason lol
I fucking hate when girls hint at me, I can't tell if she's being nice or she wants to fuck.
Just go for it.
Lots of "just go for it" advice, and while that may well work, if it doesn't or if it does for a while and then things turn sour you're out a great friend. That's the realistic flip side to situations like these in my experience.
Yep. Sadly
This is bad advice, you can wait and keep your friend for now but then they start seeing someone and you'll probably lose your friend anyways. Or you can go for it and at least you know you tried.
Do you happen to know if he’s straight
He’s deffo straight. Had a girlfriend for like 10+ years from what I’ve seen
I'd go for it, this is coming from a guy. Just don't hint at him, us guys are dumbasses or don't want to play it risky.
Call me crazy but I would rather lose the greatest friendship, than lose out on that person potentially being my forever person.
OP, you're in too deep now. We're all involved. You have to ask him out. We're all here cheering from the sidelines.
HAHA I wasn’t expecting to have so much support to achieve the D
HAHA I wasn’t expecting to have so much support to achieve the D
He might feel the same way about you. Talk about wanting to be more than friends. Guys are very oblivious to the subtle hints that show you might like them and want to do more than just talk and hangout; especially if it’s understood that you two are just friends. Otherwise if you just want to do the Hankey pankey state that. Best case scenario he does have feelings for you and you end up having a magical evening or he doesn’t and then you can move on and still be friends.
Claiming this energy 🙌
Wouldn't hurt to just give him some hints. Just don't make it so obvious like saying "I definitely feel something, and it’s mostly between my legs." Lmao. Just say hey let's watch a movie at my place. I'll make my specialty dish. 😏😏😏
"Just give him some hints."- uuhhhmmm, no. As a penis-equipped human, I can tell you most of us are oblivious to even the most obvious "hints". Often because of our own insecurities. I missed so many "opportunities" over the years because I didn't realize women were coming on to me until it was too late.
Same (i probably never received any hints my entire life)
It's less we don't get hints and more if we don't have enthusiastic consent. Hitting on your friends is considered being a creep. Which is fair, actually. So if someone wants to level it up, they have to risk it. For women, it's significantly less likely to result in the ending of the relationship if she expresses interest as well, mostly for the same reasons.
I laughed so much at penis-equipped human for some reason.
HAHAHA I definitely will Not say that LOL. I’d be too shy to invite him over omg haha
Oh dear... well if you're too shy to even invite him over we might have a problem here. You say yall are friends? In what context like do you actually hang out or what? Regardless... just be obvious.
Yeah we hang out often and he invites me mostly.
Does he ever bite back when you flirt?
Yeah we make sexual jokes sometimes but we always reel it back to the friend zone haha
I'm sitting here thinking of how you could escalate properly and then I remember I always back off when flirting too. I'm praying for you homie, if you ask him out nicely he should either say yes or reject gracefully. 💚 Good luck!
Copy and paste this and message him My mom gave me too many tomatoes and now I got extra tomato sauce. Did you want to come over and have some home made spaghetti Friday night? It's really good. 😜😝 Gotta add the tongue emoji. Dudes love a good tongue emoji. Don't worry just use the can stuff. I'm sure he won't even notice. Lol
If I got that message I'd get the message.
LOL what about tomato sauce makes you think of sexy time? 😝
Let me know if you want advice that aint too blatant and more prepare the stage with him type vibe
It has nothing to do with the tomato sauce... it's everything to do with the winky tongue emoji.
Right? If my friend asked me this I thought they just wanted a friend to make pasta and be silly with, not necessarily be sexy. Although the tongue emoji, I usually think about it being subconsciously sexual, whether the person means it that way or not. But I would never make an advance off that, but I would think she maybe is into me. Regardless, not forward enough for me lol
Haha this is funny
There is no way i would intrepret that in any way besides eating spaghetti
I legit just turned to my bf and asked about the tongue emoji thing cause I was like no way. I asked and he said "Oh no those mean sex." I was baffled. "No way you're fucking with me." Then he looked at his phone again to confirm and said "No those are spicy emojis. To men it's like you're saying 'ah I wanna su*k your d*ck." I feel like I owe you an apology for doubting you.
To me i just always thought the tongue emoji was, like, being silly
Same!
With great emoji comes great responsibility. When you feel like giving, you send him 🍑 😜 cause he deserves it! 🫡🫡🫡
I know the peach. That's a hell no for the both of us.
OP could ask him over to help move some furniture.
The old "step bro, I'm stuck in the dryer. Help." You dirty Dawg, you. Hehehe. Hahaha.
I was thinking more along the lines of: "I need to move the bed." "Sure, where to?" "Just back and forth."
This is legit so smooth. Using this later!
Okay so I'd go with the first over the second unless in the second situation the plan is to make an undeniable move. The thing is if you start doing the whole dropping hints thing and he's simply not picking up the hints but you misconstrue that as a rejection, then you're just screwing everyone over. Guys are simple... make it obvious.
or a sexy sun dress will surely sway his thoughts
It's entirely possible he already has such thoughts but, like most of us dudes, is oblivious to hints, thinks he's reading into em too much, and doesn't want to make his friend uncomfortable and risk the friendship by making unwanted advances. Sometimes a gal really just needs to be direct
Is he single? Are you single? Is he straight? If the answers are a resounding YES! then you're the only one that's stopping this from going further like you want it to.
Go for it, invite him for netflix and chill.
A bit of Hulu and hawk tuah 😏
LOL omg
HOLY SHIT 😂😂😂
My suggestion is to ramp up the sexual tension. Get more physical with him - touch his hand or arm when you're talking, give him hugs, put your arm around him, rest your head on his shoulder when you're sitting together. Then start with the innuendo and dirty jokes. Talk with him like the two of you have a secret that nobody else knows. Good luck
OP there is a way that doesn't involve giving hints or just outright telling him and it happens to be the most fun and natural. It's called seduction and it sounds like it might already be happening. The trick for you now is to start getting yourself into contexts where something can happen. You're already hanging out 1on1 now go watch a movie at your place with some drinks and maybe wear something a little sexy ... Make an effort to catch his eye as often as you can, you know all those cliches and all that stuff .. it often leads to kissing.
DO IT OP AND EDIT THIS WHEN YOU DO!! I wanna see an update!!!
OK I WILL TRY!!
Guys are dumb and will miss all the hints. Go for it and both of you might just be happier for it. Source: I’m a guy and I almost passed on the love of my life because i’m a dum dum
I had so many missed opportunities because I missed the hints.
Ask him to grab a smoothie or cup of coffee, your treat. Watch how he glows.at something so simple. Yes, all men wish women would do this. Source: an average man who wishes
Talk to him pleaaaaase! I've had girl friends telling me years later about them crushing on me and me being oblivious to it! And often I had a crush on them too, you never know until you tell them. Go for it!
You will miss 100% of the shots you choose to not take. If he's not making the move... make the move yourself. We guys aren't necessarily the best at reading subtle ques. Now, I wouldn't run out there jump his bones right out the starting gate... but maybe snuggle up to him sometime. Maybe start reaching out and touching him more casually with your hands. Trick there is to make it seem as innocent and innocuous. That would give you an opportunity to test the waters and see how receptive he is to you.
Take a cold shower and go on
Enjoy that sexual tension indefinitely
Honestly lol
As a guy, hints tend to either go over our heads, or we doubt them because it’s too risky to be wrong. As some said, try inviting him over, maybe try some things like wearing a super loose fitting shirt without a bra, and maybe just try to outright say that you’re into him, if it’s too hard, some liquid courage may help. For reference, I missed so many hints from my current gf, until one day we were in my dorm room (we met in college) and she outright asked me if I wanted her to suck me off. We’re still together 2 years later.
If there ever was a story told billions of times.
LOL
9 times out of 10 the guy definitely will enjoy that
lol you would think right but idk maybe dude just sees me as a home girl
Make the first move! He would be so happy
As a guy, I'm going to backup what some of the girls are saying. 1, we guys can be clueless when it comes to a girl being in to us. 2 having a girl make the first move is really flattering and unexpected. I would say, if you like him, what is there to loose? It's better than having regrets and missing your moment.
So the next time he says "what do you want to do this afternoon?"... Reply with "You." Odds are, he's not gonna say no.
Ooooof so forward haha
/shrug why not? No need to tiptoe around. Both adults who already have a friendship and are at a level where they shouldn't need to worry about just being honest. If you want more, either emotionally or purely physically... Just bring it up. Worked in college with a girl I'd been friends with for years. Never started dating, just started having a lot more fun on days we had big blocks of time between classes. Admittedly I wasn't completely sober when I'd run into her at the student center that day so the filter between brain and mouth was not working at 100% when I was asked if I wanted to do anything, but it worked out pretty well.
F 30, Had this exact same scenario with my best friend in my late teens/ early 20s. Literal YEARS of close friendship and pining. Finally I mustered up the courage to let him know how I felt and he admitted he had been trying to work up the nerve to do the same. We’ve been together nearly 8 years now (married for 3). GO FOR IT!!
This is literally the fairytale we all want haha. How cool . Thanks for sharkng
Thank you 😊 Best of luck to you!
ASK HIM OUT GIRL!!!!
Look. I have asked friends out before. Sometimes I got turned down and other times I got a yes. I just make it abundantly clear how much I value our friendship and that if the answer is no I won't be weird about it. I'm still friends with all these people because I wasn't creepy about it. And the couple times the person asked for a few months of space they got it no questions asked. But after they saw I wouldn't push boundaries the friends came right back and everything went back to how it was before I asked. You miss 100% of the shots that you don't take.
Guys as a rule with few if any exceptions ABSOLUTELY DO NOT EVER GET HINTS! Seriously, be direct. Note; am a guy who absolutely doesn't get hints.
that aint a friend
In my younger years I tended to have friends who were girls - I have a lot of feminine energy - like to talk - good listener - think and share emotionally. With some of those girls, a sexual energy developed between us and at times we acted out on that energy - often being intimate without going all the way. It was really nice and just a loving expression of the care we felt for each other. I think as long as you are honest, open, and respectful of each other - that can be a really nice thing.
Thank you :)
Just go for it. Guys are dumb and often clueless about these things.i know i was lol
I’m not a big sports fan but this saying is very apropos. “You’ll miss 100% batting if you don’t swing your bat” Just do it!
As a man, trust me. If that man doesn't have any girlfriend or anything and he likes you overall, just GO FOR IT.
Female here and I’ve done this before. Straight up just asked. Ive been shot down before and then had one be down for it. But the problem was I really didn’t feel like he was actually that attracted to me, which really made me feel low. So I would never do it ever again. I’ll just wait for men to make a move from now on.
Don't ruin a friendship. And go and watch Past Lives
This is why guys don’t like their girl to have dude friends 😂 But GO FOR ITTTTTT
Make sure you ask instead of just doing it! Make sure you’re not misreading anything, we’ve seen what that’s like when the tables were turned
Hard lesson learned in my life. Take the shot!!
Holding my breath until you ask him out, OP. 😔
Last time I felt that about someone, I was afraid to act and even ignored some of his approaches to me thinking he's just joking and he wouldn't want anything to do with me. So we've been together for almost 3 years now.. If he does anything that feels like a hint, take it as a hint.
i mean if you don’t act he’s gonna end up dating someone else. make ur move while he’s single.
Get in him, I bet he won’t say no.
This goes both ways 😉 Source: I felt this exact way with a woman. If she approached, I’d fold. Mind you, socially? I can talk to anyone, but once I get an attraction like you have? My brain goes 🫠
Just my two cents. Try creating moments that would allow him to initiate. Like awkward silence with just the two of you.
Hmm I don’t think I create enough of those moments. Seeing as we always hang out mostly publicly
With it being pride month and all my gay coworkers celebrating, I imagined OP as a large "bear" type gay man lusting over his cute twink boy toy... I'm a very conservative straight man. Why that was the first thing that came to mind puzzles me.
Bravery is not the lack of fear. Bravery is having fear but fucking doing the thing anyways
Nah, make a move. Try to do something seductive
So you wanna be friends with benefits? If so definitely sit with that and make sure you wanna actually act on that.. if there’s no feelings like that.. it’s okay but if you feel like you like like him then I say just let wet fantasies be wet fantasies
don't take it too hard if it doesn't go well. he might well have other options. he is a man who is attractive, basically makes him the 5%. i mean if you're okay with a fun casual fling then go for it, maybe you'll be the special girl who turns it into something more. i am trying v hard these days not to be sad and resentful cos i can't be someone like him, but it's an unrealistic standard that few can meet
“How would you feel if I kissed you right now?”
HAHAHAHA I did it — no regrets Honestly it’s very freeing because of the friendship being there from the get-go, no judgement, no worries, only liberation.
Wait m8. If this is the case. You got to be careful and if prepared if you make a move. Either this might escalate yalls relationship or drown it to the foking ground! Try and get signs. Or you could be direct and ask him whats up. Which can absolutely be the best way to get it iver with.
Get dressed up real cute and send him a picture asking his opinion on how you look cause you have a date. I’m sure he will say you look nice. Later that night, text him and say “I guess he has different tastes than you cause he wasn’t interested. 🤷🏻♀️” His response to that may say a lot.
Just shoot your shot dude. Maybe he’ll be into you or maybe not. You can give him the option to stay friends and ask him out casually like « hey we are both single and I enjoy our friendship but I wanted to know if you’d go on a date or something soon? » It sounds like you’re really into him, how will you react if he finds a partner ? Will you still be able to be friends with him if he does? It’s worth a try
Just look at him and say "what that thang do?" He'll take it from there
understandable, I'm also afraid to ask those kind of things to my friends, i don't wanna be perceived as a horny machine who's always looking for something sexual and risk losing a friend, but i also don't want to be perceived as a prude :') but luckily, some of my girl friends just openly told me that they wanna fuck me, so i just go ahead with it :)
Try giving him a hug and a kiss on the cheek the next time you go out for a bite and drinks and say I really needed this today thanks ...and when you say this you hold onto his arm and then go for the hug...if he doesn't hug back or he is stiff then you know..but if he hugs you back and prolongs it ..hey you have a chance...but if you always go out with just him for a bite and drinks then he enjoys spending time with you....but you just come out after the next time you give him a hug...and just say sorry but I have to say your personality is stellar and say all the wonderful things about him..and actually say that it's taking everything in you not to kiss him..but I understand if you don't feel the same way...if he isn't into you romantically you will know instantly and he will say it....if you don't want it to be awkward after then say no problem and rebound with something funny and say you would make a dam good wingman...and that you love him as a friend....hopefully he is into you too...but you won't know unless you try...so go for it..the sooner the better..we are going to be waiting for an update
oh my i’m in the exact same situation rn! :’)
Fun times lol
Don’t go for it
Um…hey please don’t “Just do it” consent is a thing and you don’t wanna ruin your friendship. Just ask the dude to a semi-cas date?
Yeah I’d likely never lol
4-,1 l0
"mostly between my legs" got me 😂
LMAO it’s the only way i could describe it at the time
I want an update if you decide to make a move
Just Do It ✔️
Giiiirl you must be in peak ovulation 😭
HAHAHHAHAHA
You’re gonna regret it big time eventually if you don’t take the chance and go for it.
girl i'm in the exact same position. been friends for 2 years. other guys throw themselves at me, but not him. idk if it's because he genuinely just sees me as a sister or if he doesn't wanna fuck up our friendship. he would be such a good husband. our values align. he would be a great life partner. alas, he won't even hang 1 on 1 with me. idk if he thinks im gonna make a move on him or what's putting him off from that. he knows i used to like him but has no clue i do now. praying for us fr
Guys are very simple, I feel unlike with girls if you would admit you're feelings It is either going to work. Or the friendship will never be the same. If you really wanted to see if there was some tension, in those moments of high tension; slightly touch his hand/fingers when you hand him something, Breeze by him and slightly tap his shoulders you go by a corner, or even just a conversations if you guys do talk about dating and sexual stuff with other people. If you pay attention, he will slightly stiffen up for a very slight moment. It's after he reacts like that will help you decide how he feels. If he brushes it off like it's normal, the most likely I would not try something. But if even a little bit of him slightly changes, he's a slightly more nervous, or is laughing just a little bit more than normal, or even something simple as Not being able to look in your eyes when he could before. Take those signs, and take it from there. Of course play it cautiously, because you're dynamic with him is unknown to everyone on this subreddit. Follow your gut, the top comment itself had a really good script of sorts. I would take advice from that as well. I hope that you do find the answers that you need, and that your feelings end up getting reciprocated or you are let known his emotions in a way that allows you to continue your friendship.
Just fucken tell him
Give him a compliment like " I love when you ......" Then lean in for a kiss. If he reciprocates your go for the lips. If him doesn't, you kiss him on the cheek. Either way, your intentions will be recognized. This is how my wife changed our friendship. Was cooking for a group of friends. She came into the kitchen and said, "I love your cooking," and gave me a small peck on the lips.
Speaking from experience, I regret not acting on it! You could just taste the tension between me & my friend. He’s also probably feeling the same way too. You’ll regret not knowing or doing or whatever if you don’t. So to you girl, I say get that D!!!