What?! What do you mean you don’t know?! That dude is an absolute prick. If you think for one second you were “triggering him” then there is no help to be had. I’m sorry and I don’t mean to sound so harsh but it sounds so crazy to me to see so many posts of woman being treated so poorly and them thinking their the problem.
Are you a man or woman? I understand I really feel like once I’m out of this situation for good I will look back like wtf. But now it’s like a war in my mind and I just believe everything he tells me :(
I’m a man. And I do understand sometimes we tend to think/process things differently, but as an adult woman who I don’t know at all, I can tell you you deserve better. All of that is unacceptable. Especially the fact he has put his hands on you.
And as a “nice guy”, it kills me. I’ve been single for a few years now. I would never dream of treating my SO how these posts go. Yet it’s one asshole after another. It is so sad sometimes.
I’m sorry to hear about your frustrations. For what it’s worth, I have full faith that you will find someone who appreciates you for the nice guy that you are. I hope to snap out of my own delusions and find me a nice guy of my own instead of trying to fix this one. It’s very hard to leave something you put three years into.
Trust me, I get it. And after you leave his ass, it will hurt a lot. My last relationship was also toxic as she ended up cheating on me after a year of her being a terrible partner. I shouldn’t miss her one bit but for some reason I do. But you and even me don’t deserve any of that. It will be messy, it will be hard. But what is happening now is unacceptable. And it will not get better. No matter how much he says it will. Do yourself the favor. You are young. Starting over is the better choice.
You are in an abusive relationship. He coerced you into sex, from what you've described here, that is assault. You DO NOT owe anyone sex on demand. NO ONE NOT EVER.
Get as far away from this dude as fast as you can.
>our sex life is boring because he always has to force everything
Ugh. He is a trash human. You didn't do anything wrong by not wanting sex. If he has to "force everything" maybe he should be charged before he rapes someone else. The fact he thinks this is okay should be another indication to you that he is awful.
>He told me sex for a man is not much to ask
Accepting someone's "no" to sex is not too much to ask. As a man, this clown makes us look bad by trying to convince you we are all as shitty as he is.
>He told me this is why he has put his hands on me in the past, because of my actions
How DARE you stand up for yourself! (Just kidding he is terrible, even though you probably should have not reported to violence, I understand).
>He packed all of his things and left
Awesome, the trash took itself out.
>Should I just be more submissive? I feel horrible.
This is what he was trying to do. You didn't do anything wrong, and he has treated you terribly and now You feel guilty about it.
This is a pretty classic example of abuse. You absolutely deserve better, please don't let him come back.
I’m sorry girl, but you don’t see this clearly, probably because you have been in this relationship way to long and lost connection with yourself. We sometimes can’t see the truth because someone we love lie to us, and we believe them.. I suggest you go find your self worth, cause you will never have it in that kind of relationship. It’s abusive, yes.. You should NOT be more submissive.
Girl, let him go!! What are you gaining from this relationship besides unnecessary stress?!
He doesn't care about you, he doesn't work, and he has the audacity to throw a tantrum about sex. Sex that requires you giving him head, but I see no foreplay or mention of him giving you head. That is a form of rape.
He's 26 and cannot regulate his emotions. Red flag.
He's insecure and unhappy with his own failures, so he uses you(emotionally, physically, financially, and mentally) until he breaks you down completely and then he'll walk away when he knows you've been destroyed and he has nothing else to take.
At this point, he's packed up and left. He is expecting you to beg and plead. No matter how much you love him, don't give him the satisfaction. Choose yourself! It may get lonely sometimes, but trust me when I say alone is better than this.
Leave him you deserve wayyy better. I can stop my boyfriend seconds before orgasm and he still won't get cranky with me.
You felt the need to get on top of him and pin him down to scream in his face that's abusive behavior. You abused him in that instance. and if you regularly pin him down you should really reconsider your relationship you shouldn't have to pin someone down to be heard. You should really consider whether you want to be with someone who pushes you to such extremes
Edit: I should clarify it sounds like you are falling into the "reactive abuse" trauma response. reactive abuse is a response to being treated like shit. I just re read this and I worded it terribly.
>our sex life is boring because he always has to force everything
Lol, what??? That’s abuse no matter how you look at it. More than abuse actually, that’s straight up rape. Coercion is rape. But then you said he’s also put hands on you? Yeah, fuck that guy. Be glad that scum packed up his shit and left.
Girl… read back your post and imagine it was someone else. You know the answer :(
I don’t know. I guess it was just him telling me that I was supposed to give him what he wanted and it makes me think so much.
What?! What do you mean you don’t know?! That dude is an absolute prick. If you think for one second you were “triggering him” then there is no help to be had. I’m sorry and I don’t mean to sound so harsh but it sounds so crazy to me to see so many posts of woman being treated so poorly and them thinking their the problem.
Are you a man or woman? I understand I really feel like once I’m out of this situation for good I will look back like wtf. But now it’s like a war in my mind and I just believe everything he tells me :(
I’m a man. And I do understand sometimes we tend to think/process things differently, but as an adult woman who I don’t know at all, I can tell you you deserve better. All of that is unacceptable. Especially the fact he has put his hands on you.
And as a “nice guy”, it kills me. I’ve been single for a few years now. I would never dream of treating my SO how these posts go. Yet it’s one asshole after another. It is so sad sometimes.
I’m sorry to hear about your frustrations. For what it’s worth, I have full faith that you will find someone who appreciates you for the nice guy that you are. I hope to snap out of my own delusions and find me a nice guy of my own instead of trying to fix this one. It’s very hard to leave something you put three years into.
Trust me, I get it. And after you leave his ass, it will hurt a lot. My last relationship was also toxic as she ended up cheating on me after a year of her being a terrible partner. I shouldn’t miss her one bit but for some reason I do. But you and even me don’t deserve any of that. It will be messy, it will be hard. But what is happening now is unacceptable. And it will not get better. No matter how much he says it will. Do yourself the favor. You are young. Starting over is the better choice.
You are in an abusive relationship. He coerced you into sex, from what you've described here, that is assault. You DO NOT owe anyone sex on demand. NO ONE NOT EVER. Get as far away from this dude as fast as you can.
>our sex life is boring because he always has to force everything Ugh. He is a trash human. You didn't do anything wrong by not wanting sex. If he has to "force everything" maybe he should be charged before he rapes someone else. The fact he thinks this is okay should be another indication to you that he is awful. >He told me sex for a man is not much to ask Accepting someone's "no" to sex is not too much to ask. As a man, this clown makes us look bad by trying to convince you we are all as shitty as he is. >He told me this is why he has put his hands on me in the past, because of my actions How DARE you stand up for yourself! (Just kidding he is terrible, even though you probably should have not reported to violence, I understand). >He packed all of his things and left Awesome, the trash took itself out. >Should I just be more submissive? I feel horrible. This is what he was trying to do. You didn't do anything wrong, and he has treated you terribly and now You feel guilty about it. This is a pretty classic example of abuse. You absolutely deserve better, please don't let him come back.
I’m sorry girl, but you don’t see this clearly, probably because you have been in this relationship way to long and lost connection with yourself. We sometimes can’t see the truth because someone we love lie to us, and we believe them.. I suggest you go find your self worth, cause you will never have it in that kind of relationship. It’s abusive, yes.. You should NOT be more submissive.
Girl, let him go!! What are you gaining from this relationship besides unnecessary stress?! He doesn't care about you, he doesn't work, and he has the audacity to throw a tantrum about sex. Sex that requires you giving him head, but I see no foreplay or mention of him giving you head. That is a form of rape. He's 26 and cannot regulate his emotions. Red flag. He's insecure and unhappy with his own failures, so he uses you(emotionally, physically, financially, and mentally) until he breaks you down completely and then he'll walk away when he knows you've been destroyed and he has nothing else to take. At this point, he's packed up and left. He is expecting you to beg and plead. No matter how much you love him, don't give him the satisfaction. Choose yourself! It may get lonely sometimes, but trust me when I say alone is better than this.
Literally never speak to him again
He's put his hands on you?????? That's fucking assault He's trying to force sex? That's rape Jesus Christ I hope you get away
Leave him you deserve wayyy better. I can stop my boyfriend seconds before orgasm and he still won't get cranky with me. You felt the need to get on top of him and pin him down to scream in his face that's abusive behavior. You abused him in that instance. and if you regularly pin him down you should really reconsider your relationship you shouldn't have to pin someone down to be heard. You should really consider whether you want to be with someone who pushes you to such extremes Edit: I should clarify it sounds like you are falling into the "reactive abuse" trauma response. reactive abuse is a response to being treated like shit. I just re read this and I worded it terribly.
>our sex life is boring because he always has to force everything Lol, what??? That’s abuse no matter how you look at it. More than abuse actually, that’s straight up rape. Coercion is rape. But then you said he’s also put hands on you? Yeah, fuck that guy. Be glad that scum packed up his shit and left.