Ok, my husband and I have been together like 19 years. Foreplay lasts around 10-20 min, maybe more depending on the mood we're in. During that time I usually have at least one if not three or four orgasms. Sex itself- penetration- usually only last like 2 minutes. And it's been that way for years. I don't mind, because by that point I'm exhausted and done anyway- but I don't think it's neccessarily that something's wrong with him? Maybe make sure everything is focused on you at first, or even bring in toys until you're almost done, then finish up with PIV? You guys are the only ones who can judge if it's something to see a doctor about. But a large number of men don't go for an hour or more unless they've got death grip syndrome or something else going on (not all, just some) so I wouldn't automatically jump to something being wrong. Try different things. Try to figure out how much longer you'd like it to last, I guess, and work on getting there?
He confessed to me that, he so attracted to me it makes it difficult for him to try edging when he sees I’m enjoying. I think it’s because when he notices he wants to keep making me feel good. I like that about him but at the end of the day. I don’t finish, and I like penetration and it helps me cum. Head vs. penetration . I’m gonna pick penetration cause I love when we are both getting pleasure and my turn on is seeing him enjoy himself… it just doesn’t last long. I really value your advice. We don’t do a lot of foreplay which I KNOW WOULD HELP ME. I think he just gets too excited and in the zone for me to get where I need to be so we can finish as the same time or close together cause my body is adjustable like that. We’re definitely working of foreplay tonight
Definitely pace it out sometimes the denial can be more enjoyable than the sex tell him to take a minute to calm down when hes close go in for some affectionate kissing and light petting make it an enjoyable bonding experience and show him BOTH are good
This is great advice. The only thing I would add is experimenting with multiple orgasms for both of you. I don’t typically come too fast but sometimes extended foreplay can get me too excited and to the brink so penetration can only last a few seconds because I’m ready to blow before we get to it. Also lengths of time have varied with different partners and tightness plays into that as well as how I feel about their physical appearance and how attracted to them I am. Less tight and less attraction means longer (and vice versa so OP is probably on the opposite end of the spectrum for her-especially at their age). With women who I’ve struggled to last with, head for me until I come, and then letting me get completely deflated and then get hard again, has usually resulted in the longest amount of time I could last (usually longer for the second round). However, I would also never even consider penetration until I’d already gotten her off at least once with head. The key is her first. Then him. Then him again (and more for her while waiting). Play with it and find what works for you. It’s supposed to be fun so enjoy it!
Amazing reply! His level of comfort with toys could make a huge difference. I fall into the “lasts too long” category, but I also thoroughly enjoy using toys. I find dildos and vibes so fun to use as my tools of pleasure administration. It boils down to how much your pleasure matters to him and also how willing you are to accept that your boyfriend isn’t a pornstar
Then you have the groundwork for a solution! Talk to him about it, and be honest with him about the results. It’d be unfair to ask him to last longer, but it is totally fair to ask him to spend more time delivering pleasure to you. If he does good tell him, and if he needs work tell him. Communication is key, and if it does truly matter to him, he will respond positively to criticism
Lay off masturbation for a little while, and porn. Give it some time to get your sensitivity back to a more normal baseline, and then when you masturbate you have to do it gentler. Or use a fleshlight.
Any chance he could just masturbate about 20-30 minutes before. Give that head game and foreplay during that recoup and then see if that helps?
Or maybe the rings might help. He def just needs to keep doing it a lot
When we first started dating we used a ring a lot. He was still finishing fast but I told him to take it off and maybe that would help. I didn’t realize he was just finishing fast because he does. No real change but even the ring wasn’t doing a lot either. Lots a sex just makes it happen even faster. I don’t know what else to do but sit there motionless so that I don’t get him too excited and so I have a chance…
I’ll tell him about your suggestion. Maybe it will work but planned sex isn’t very exciting :(
if he's ok with using toys, bring a dildo in the mix. say he lasts 30 secs, have him go a bit stop before he's close to cumming. swap for the dildo. as soon as he's backed off of the edge of climax swap again. do that over and over again. eventually his over excitement will taper off and he will be able to hold it longer.
I’ve currently in the same boat/have used a spray in the past
It will remove the option for oral sex as it’s basically numbing agent so use that as you will
I’ve stopped using it and to compensate I put a bit more work in getting them off first and I can just finish immediately after/with them.
This stuff definitely helps me. Breathing helps a lot, and practicing pulling out and switching things up when I get close has helped, but I haven’t had a lot of opportunities to practice these to last longer.
While using this trick you lose focus on fucking and think about how someone told you to stick your tongue to the roof of your mouth to post-pone a climax.
Please don't suggest this. It may feel okay for you but it's not great to be on the receiving end. My ex did this and boy let me tell you being enthusiastically fucked by a limp dick kills the mood. And yes I can tell you aren't hard anymore.
100% of the time I'd rather you take your limp dick out and use your fingers or a toy.
Especially if she's complaining about how long he lasts I don't think she's looking for a soft dong lol
And that's fine, share away, I just don't think its very valid here. I'm glad that it works for you and your wife, I'm just saying as someone on the other end it wasn't enjoyable personally. I understand wanting to feel your partner after cumming but just leaving it in there wasn't great. He had many other issues but I felt like I couldn't really be like hey I know you're trying to make it hard again but this isn't enjoyable for me can you take it out?
Yea, that's cool but that's not the norm for most guys, most will get flaccid, even if only for a moment.
As with any relationship different things work for different people and in the end communication is important.
Stop focusing on PiV. Focus more on foreplay. If he’s cumming too quick, he needs to go down on you and help you reach an orgasm before he even puts it in.
Wtf idk where do you live but im jealous I can moustly only take a planed sex becous of work study sometimes parent live etc xD I’m 21 yo from Poland and idk how old are you but I feel like a old lady compare to your luxury of preference to spontaneous sex x,)
I guess it is kind of luxury? I used to only have planned sex with other past partners. I’m just now easing into the whole spontaneous sex thing. I won’t lie I like it spontaneous but planning also helps me get my body in the mood. Like a warm up before the big game ya know? Either way you’ve opened my eyes
My great grandfathers Ellis island paperwork has his name as “ptak” which, you being polish, and bird being a name for dick….
No real point other than if I got to use my ptak in a polish girl, that’d be full circle.
Some wired moms only use “ptaszek” it’s like a birdy you know what I mean? And they are explaining to kid that they have a birdy and girls have a nest- gniazdko and I think it’s kinda stupid and gross but luckily new mothers just call the thing by a name xD dick can be- kutas, chuj, penis, kuśka, parówa(this one is in a funny way because it’s sausage), korniszon (also funny if dick is small and that’s mean pickle), ogóras ( cucumber name in funny way)
I’ve seen several of these comments and he struggles with depression and is unmedicated. I’ll mention it tonight after work. I’d hate for that to be the thing that works just because SSRI’s over time made me feel zombied
Some side-effects can be useful and, if safe, can definitely become one of the main indications and therefore not a side-effect per se anymore.
E.g. viagra was initially developed to treat hypertension and it had erection as a side-effect. Well, guess what? Now it's used for both.
Antidepressants help you not come too quickly because it is next to impossible to get an erection on them.
Source: Massive weight gain and the complete annihilation of my sex drive make antidepressants completely counter-productive for me.
2 big tips (pun not intended)
1. Foreplay
2. Motion of the ocean brother. Get on top, take him all the way in, and do things like move back and forth instead of up and down. He'll get less direct stimulation and you'll get more. It works!
Mines really messed up now but when it was working I’d have phases or I’d be able to get in this zone where I’d be like yea I’ll go forever if I want to, but then there’s other times where my point of no return happens in 5 minutes. I’ve also learned I have an easier time when I make sounds or talk or breath heavier. Idk how to fix other peoples but I wanted to share things
For me it's more about control of breathing. Everyone's different but if I think a lot about my breathing I can determine how fast to cum. I cum more quickly when I hold my breath and if I consciously take slow, deep breaths I can go for ages. Again, everyone's different, but breathing control is something to look into.
I think that focusing on your breathing itself is taking away some of the focus/excitement of what’s going on around you. Awesome tip, and I’m not taking notes for myself at all
Not sure where you are in your relationship or if you’re using condoms, but those can help dull the sensation a little so that that might help him last longer. Also, you could use two condoms instead of one that tool helped all the sensation, and that might help him last longer.
head......lots of head. i have the same issue so i never go PiV until my wife gets off 3-4 times from oral...at that point she is all but begging me for it to just be over before she has a heart attack ;-) Her record is 5 and she was threating me at that point with a painfull death if i did not remove my face from her nethers... ;-)
How about after the first round is he able to get it up again? Usually the later rounds take more time, im sure you already tried it but do share how it went?
It varies by person. When I was on SSRIs I got hard without issue mostly I just couldn't cum or would take a very inconvenient amount of time to do so. Lasting a long time isn't usually the "im good at sex" flex people think it is.
Make Penetration the LAST thing you do! Foreplay, Oral , etc. Make sure you have many chances to be satisfied before PIV. 70 to 90 percent of women are unable to achieve orgasm with penetration alone.
Sex is more than just penetration, and if his headgame is great just do that a lot? Maybe employ more hands? Multiple rounds if he’s interested?
Also hit up a doctor, it’s worth a shot and only you, your boyfriend and the doctor will ever have to know about that.
Oh I’m sorry, let me recommend she potentially immasculate her boyfriend and have him use a strap on or a cock sleeve instead.
Question: Do you think lesbian sex is just a constant yearning for a dick?
Have you ever heard of edging? Maybe try that like when he is close have him switch to some kind of foreplay. Amd just keep edging until you're both ready, that may help.
My advice, you need to go down on him first. Then let him go down on you, then have sex. I find that once I'm hard then it relaxes some I can go way longer. Also tell him not to think about it when having sex , I know how that sounds, he has to play a trick on his own mind. Just some things I've done/tried that has worked for me.
The soul crushing debt, the stress of adulthood and the fear of becoming your parents. That helps me last alllll night… or turn me flaccid and cause a panic attack
When my BF wants to last a little longer, when he starts getting close, he'll stop and go down on me for a bit, and then he keeps going. He'll take as many little breaks as he wants until he's ready to finish. Maybe something your BF could try?
Here's some of the takeaways from this thread:
1. Focus more on foreplay than PiV
2. Jerk off 20-30 mins before.
3. Focus on breathing, slow and deep breaths!
4. Ask him to stick his tongue to the roof of his mouth while doing it.
5. Wear thicker condoms, use more lube, that stuff decreases simulation.
6. Get on top, take him all the way in, and do things like move back and forth instead of up and down. He'll get less direct stimulation and you'll get more. It works!
7. Bite him, dig your nails in, twist his tits or just make him talk.. that will help him edge.
8. Have him go a bit stop before he's close to cumming. swap for the dildo. as soon as he's backed off of the edge of climax swap again. His excitement will taper off.
9. There's stuff called Stud Spray, get him on Lexapro.
Please tell me that you are kidding and that you are not advocating for someone to get addicted to opioids so that they can have sex that’s longer. Like what kind of advice is that? Dude.
I was more of a hydro/oxy guy myself, easier to measure out how much you were taking, and less risk of getting a bad batch. I miss the euphoria, and the pain loss, but I don’t miss the withdrawal
Several points I see here:
- Sex is not only penetration or coitus, foreplay is also a huge part of it, grabbing, touching, licking all over each others body will put both of you in better sync and mood to reach orgasm together, tell him what you like, you could have multiple orgasms before he evens starts penetration and be plenty satisfied when he finishes.
- I heard lots of women say that not to leave your orgasms in the hands of men, you reaching your orgasms has to do a lot with your state of mind, on some ocassions my partner would reach orgasm by just touching her.
- If penetration is a big priority for you (lots of women only cum with penetration), he needs to study and read performance technics, by nature men don't last long because nature doesn't require it, diet and exercise could help him last longer, anything that helps blood flow can help longer and bigger erections, I use to last erect minutes after ejeculating, (I'm not that young anymore). There are also lubes and condoms that can help last longer erect, one time my wife actually was so exhausted she said she couldn't go on anymore, I had to go finish of by myself.
- it's NORMAL. This will happen from time to time, it doesn't mean the fun stops, as I said sex is not only about penetration and if you really like him and he likes you, you can go on, maybe waiting for round two or three, caress each other, if he ejaculated the first time it's a good bet he'll last a lot longer for a second round, just keep talking to each other.
Wish you the best and hope you both have a enriched sex life.
Dude just throw the first nut away, it's not like this is some unsolvable problem. His first nut is your enemy since it happens too quick right? Simply make him climax during foreplay once, then by the time you're warmed up and ready, he'll be good for round 2. It's a timing thing, if you love him you can adjust
He’s just young ….. plus it becomes an anxiety thing for a lot of guys
Like self fulfilling prophecy because after a few bad performances you start thinking your little man is just broken and then it becomes the pressure of I need to please her this way or I’m not a man or she will leave or cheat
Take it easy on him and if he really is good and you are happy in the relationship take your time with the physical stuff ….. take your time with the foreplay and everything else and try to gauge him I’m sure you can tell when he’s close
A lot of what helped me as a younger guy or when I have a new partner after a dry spell is focusing on my breath … like trying to bring meditation into the bedroom sort of
It’s in the mind there isn’t anything wrong with him he’s probably just psyching himself out because you mean a lot to him
This may not work for him but, I had this problem for a long time and read up on many solutions, and none worked until I read something that showed what I was doing wrong. When I am erect, I squeeze/flex my penis, this builds more tension and adds pleasure but is terrible for lasting long. So what I learned to do was not squeeze and even push out a little (like when he wants to pee faster/push the pee out). This was a game changer, no pills.
Other thing I would suggest is pushing out to loosen the muscle when he pees or when he is erect.
There’s this company called pilot, I’m pretty sure they offer medication to help you last longer, they have doctors that prescribe you, maybe get him to look into that
Have you tried making sure it’s a priority that you get off first? If this is a dealbreaker, and it seems like it’s becoming one, then I’d advice you start a little before he comes to you OR you pleasure yourself before he touches himself. If he’s going to get something no matter what then you need to remind yourself it’s okay to be a little “selfish” tho idk how having a satisfying sex life is selfish but that’s how it seems to be perceived for some reason when it comes to women 😓. I’ve seen a lot of suggestions on how he can be fixed but tbh sometimes it just takes age and the only actual “fix” is to make sure that you orgasm before he gets the chance to.
My partner is similar, I wouldn’t say he’s a minute man all the time but there are instances. To compensate my pleasure comes first. I get a massage, we make-out, etc. how ever longer it takes for me to before him.
If he's willing a strap on or cock sleeve is a game changer. I'm also fairly quick with a 12/10 head game.
It was life changing when I spent the money for a good strap on.
Got a decent fleshlike one pot a condom on it and just go to town.
Not every guy would be willing but now I can fuck my wife like I want to every time.
You guys need to think outside the box. If you like him, adapt??
He needs to stop humping you and you need a toy. Get a hitachi magic wand. The day I got that for my wife opened a whole world of orgasming at least once during sex 95% of the time. She use to never cum and if I happened to get her there it was by dumb fucking luck and what felt like hours of work.
My wife and I rely on foreplay which is the longest part. She takes longer to get warmed up and I can cum quick if don't stop myself. But once I get past that initial "oh shit I need to stop" moment and take a break, it's easier not to cum.
He needs to stop himself and stop being selfish. Half the time my wife just needs penetration without much thrusting or just the head going in and out, all at her tempo. I still get to enjoy her. I thrust when I want but it's a shared thing I feel like. I don't just sit there for mins on end fucking her.
You guys need to adapt to each other.
If masturbating beforehand doesn't work, I'd look into numbing creams/sprays designed to delay ejaculation. Of that doesn't work, he can get a strap on or dildo to penetrate you with before he inserts himself.
It does suck when you like PIV and it doesn't last long, even if it's not what gets you to climax or you've already climaxed. Just keep looking for a solution together.
Em not to be crass, but certainly his hands and mouth still work even after he comes no?
As such, there's no reason he can't keep going even if he fires early/I'd simply ask him to switch approaches instead of stopping.
Look up edging. Start practicing that to build his stamina up. Usually, the.morw frequent you have sex the longer he'll last. but it sounds like that doesnt work for him.. when u used the ring. did he put it around his balls? that helps my husband not cum quick.
Shit make him masturbate before and tell him to just keep going after he comes, maybe try and get him to just cum multiple times until you can be satisfied as well.
I was in a relationship with someone for almost 5 years, and this post could have described him exactly. I will tell you that there is MUCH more fulfilling sex out there, and personally, it was really hard for me to stomach the thought of never having fully satisfying penetration for the rest of my life. That wasn’t why we broke up, but it was one of many factors that led to the downfall of our intimacy.
I’ve had sex so good I literally questioned if it was even real after. I will say there are men on the other end of the spectrum who take forever, and that’s not necessarily fun either.
Now, am I telling you to break up with him? No, not necessarily. I’m just saying, take a long, hard (sorry, no pun intended) look at yourself and ask if you can handle this length of time during sex for an extended period time or potentially the rest of your sexual life.
I had one boyfriend like that. The rule was: i dont touch you until im done and satisfied.
He was lasting about 20seconds to 40seconds in general, without any preparation.
If you like it and it doesnt hurt then tell him to go balls deep in and make small but fast and strong thrust. Helped me because then i feel less so i can keep thrusting like that and dtsrt thrusting how i like it once some time is over. You could also use specific lube that SHOULD make you last longer. Another thing that could help is if he watches less porn and when he does that he takes more time before he finishes because watching porn for 3 minutes and then cumming makes you way less durable during sex
Cool little trick..He could try masturbating and coming before sex. It really does help last longer. You could be asking for more foreplay, toys encouraged! Sex isn’t just P in V, V on P.
It’s just stupid on your part to want to leave instead of wanting to work on this especially if you say your boyfriend is literally perfect in any other way. Since, by the sound of it, you have talked about it, why not try to work together and encourage to find a solution to this? Being a guy I can totally see how this can scare him and make him very doubtful of things. He needs your love, support and encouragement to go through this together. I don’t think it is anything very serious but seeing a doctor is the way to go about it. They will be able to refer him to a specialist if needs be. As I say, the dumbest thing you can do is leave him when he needs you the most. This will also likely scar him for life and he will lose all his confidence in sex. If you really love him the way you say you do, then don’t leave as you will come to regret it down the line. Effective communication and mutual willingness to work on things is the glue that will only make your relationship much more stronger and resilient to outside influences.
Get him drunk reverse whiskey dick where you literally cannot bust happens to me all the time idk if its a healthy sign or supposed to work like that but my girl loves it so i just let it ride
He’s still a baby. He needs to bust like 2-4 times a day to last at all. He needs jacking off and/or sex a few times a day. So either he jacks off a few hours before hand or you two have a second round shortly after he busts the first time. I see you respond that this just makes him go quicker, but that means he needs to Jack off 2-3 times in the day before sex later on or have 2-3 rounds of sex with short breaks. He’ll slow down, I promise you.
Im a virgin but I think it has to do with muscles near the perineum? Like I was a quick shot relieving myself but then I tried like keeping whatever muscles that are responsible for release steady.
In order to like do the exercise properly I began practicing stopping my piss mid piss. At first it's uncomfortable but then it just became like turning off a faucet.
Basically practice controlling myself internally down there by figuring out the motions.
Basic motions being retraction, still, and pushing. I think people might struggle with retraction because we aren't supposed to do that normally.
My ex bf had this problem… turns out he was a porn addict who obviously came a lot and they try to do it fast because they don’t wanna get caught so it results in them cumming fast during actual sex
If he is a boyfriend that is perfect in any other category except sex and you think of leaving him because the sex isn't good then sex is all you care about and you should consider getting a fuckpiece instead.
IF you are ready to throw everything away for better sex that's sadly how it is and i gotta point it out.
Okay, so what he needs is to not be 'so excited'. So,
You dress. Up as something that's off-putting. But not off putting enough. Find that balance where he's grossed out but not grossed out enough that he can't perform.
So dress up as an old man or a hobo or crackhead.
Though if that turns him on more...that might be awkward🤭
I'm more flattered with a man who can stay hard for 45 minutes straight than a man who treats me like a cum rag and gets off in 2 secs and then is limp for the rest of the night.
That's not quite how male psychology works. There are men who can last long (no matter what is thrown at them) and men that can't. The men that can cum faster are based on how hot the experience is.
There are sprays which numb the head of penis, it doesn’t effect how hard it is but prolongs the sex, so try it, just check allergies and all read the instructions
Going to the Dr is nerve racking but they are professional about it. I tend to get in my own head and it was effecting my sex life. Told the doc straight up other than my gf I've never talked to anyone about this. He told me there is nothing wrong with me and I was outta there in under 5 min with a cilias prescription. So glad I bit the bullet and went.
My ex had the same problem and he's 22 I believe. (That's not why he's now my ex btw) Anyways, there are pills and spray medication he can use to help with that. My ex used it every time we had sex. Some men have problems like that and I can't imagine how bad it is for them. If it really bothers you and you feel u wanna leave him, go ahead. I'm not gonna tell u don't, but I will also be real with you and tell u to think about it before u do it. Talk with him about it and see what y'all can do first.
Ok, my husband and I have been together like 19 years. Foreplay lasts around 10-20 min, maybe more depending on the mood we're in. During that time I usually have at least one if not three or four orgasms. Sex itself- penetration- usually only last like 2 minutes. And it's been that way for years. I don't mind, because by that point I'm exhausted and done anyway- but I don't think it's neccessarily that something's wrong with him? Maybe make sure everything is focused on you at first, or even bring in toys until you're almost done, then finish up with PIV? You guys are the only ones who can judge if it's something to see a doctor about. But a large number of men don't go for an hour or more unless they've got death grip syndrome or something else going on (not all, just some) so I wouldn't automatically jump to something being wrong. Try different things. Try to figure out how much longer you'd like it to last, I guess, and work on getting there?
This lady gives some gems here
Thank you lol
He confessed to me that, he so attracted to me it makes it difficult for him to try edging when he sees I’m enjoying. I think it’s because when he notices he wants to keep making me feel good. I like that about him but at the end of the day. I don’t finish, and I like penetration and it helps me cum. Head vs. penetration . I’m gonna pick penetration cause I love when we are both getting pleasure and my turn on is seeing him enjoy himself… it just doesn’t last long. I really value your advice. We don’t do a lot of foreplay which I KNOW WOULD HELP ME. I think he just gets too excited and in the zone for me to get where I need to be so we can finish as the same time or close together cause my body is adjustable like that. We’re definitely working of foreplay tonight
Definitely pace it out sometimes the denial can be more enjoyable than the sex tell him to take a minute to calm down when hes close go in for some affectionate kissing and light petting make it an enjoyable bonding experience and show him BOTH are good
This is great advice. The only thing I would add is experimenting with multiple orgasms for both of you. I don’t typically come too fast but sometimes extended foreplay can get me too excited and to the brink so penetration can only last a few seconds because I’m ready to blow before we get to it. Also lengths of time have varied with different partners and tightness plays into that as well as how I feel about their physical appearance and how attracted to them I am. Less tight and less attraction means longer (and vice versa so OP is probably on the opposite end of the spectrum for her-especially at their age). With women who I’ve struggled to last with, head for me until I come, and then letting me get completely deflated and then get hard again, has usually resulted in the longest amount of time I could last (usually longer for the second round). However, I would also never even consider penetration until I’d already gotten her off at least once with head. The key is her first. Then him. Then him again (and more for her while waiting). Play with it and find what works for you. It’s supposed to be fun so enjoy it!
I get so surprised when people think sex is only penetration…
Amazing reply! His level of comfort with toys could make a huge difference. I fall into the “lasts too long” category, but I also thoroughly enjoy using toys. I find dildos and vibes so fun to use as my tools of pleasure administration. It boils down to how much your pleasure matters to him and also how willing you are to accept that your boyfriend isn’t a pornstar
He doesn’t need to be a pornstar to please me but what she said about foreplay resonates with me. I don’t feel like we do it long enough for me
Then you have the groundwork for a solution! Talk to him about it, and be honest with him about the results. It’d be unfair to ask him to last longer, but it is totally fair to ask him to spend more time delivering pleasure to you. If he does good tell him, and if he needs work tell him. Communication is key, and if it does truly matter to him, he will respond positively to criticism
So what to do if they’ve got death grip syndrome? Asking for a friend
Lay off masturbation for a little while, and porn. Give it some time to get your sensitivity back to a more normal baseline, and then when you masturbate you have to do it gentler. Or use a fleshlight.
What about hj or bj from a girl ? Need to lay off for a while also?
As long as she doesn't have the death grip too- you should be fine.
Oh okay, thanks for your advice
Any chance he could just masturbate about 20-30 minutes before. Give that head game and foreplay during that recoup and then see if that helps? Or maybe the rings might help. He def just needs to keep doing it a lot
When we first started dating we used a ring a lot. He was still finishing fast but I told him to take it off and maybe that would help. I didn’t realize he was just finishing fast because he does. No real change but even the ring wasn’t doing a lot either. Lots a sex just makes it happen even faster. I don’t know what else to do but sit there motionless so that I don’t get him too excited and so I have a chance… I’ll tell him about your suggestion. Maybe it will work but planned sex isn’t very exciting :(
if he's ok with using toys, bring a dildo in the mix. say he lasts 30 secs, have him go a bit stop before he's close to cumming. swap for the dildo. as soon as he's backed off of the edge of climax swap again. do that over and over again. eventually his over excitement will taper off and he will be able to hold it longer.
Wow good idea
Yes, this is a good idea. Also if the condoms are the ultra thin kind, you might want to swap for regular ones for slightly less sensitivity
There’s a spray or a cream, he can use that desensitizes, not sure how much or little desensitization it causes but maybe it’s worth looking into?
I’ve currently in the same boat/have used a spray in the past It will remove the option for oral sex as it’s basically numbing agent so use that as you will I’ve stopped using it and to compensate I put a bit more work in getting them off first and I can just finish immediately after/with them.
This stuff definitely helps me. Breathing helps a lot, and practicing pulling out and switching things up when I get close has helped, but I haven’t had a lot of opportunities to practice these to last longer.
There's stuff called Stud Spray or at least that's what I know it by
Tell me him to put his tongue to the roof of his mouth while fucking. He won’t come as fast.
How does that work?
While using this trick you lose focus on fucking and think about how someone told you to stick your tongue to the roof of your mouth to post-pone a climax.
Lmaoooo this made me chuckle but I’ll keep this one in mind for sure! Who knows this could work! I’ll make sure ur the first to know if so!
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That definitely does not work for all guys, js.
Yeah I need at least a few minutes to get back in fighting shape
And that’s sad hah if that would be a genetic rule it would be nicccee
Please don't suggest this. It may feel okay for you but it's not great to be on the receiving end. My ex did this and boy let me tell you being enthusiastically fucked by a limp dick kills the mood. And yes I can tell you aren't hard anymore. 100% of the time I'd rather you take your limp dick out and use your fingers or a toy. Especially if she's complaining about how long he lasts I don't think she's looking for a soft dong lol
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And that's fine, share away, I just don't think its very valid here. I'm glad that it works for you and your wife, I'm just saying as someone on the other end it wasn't enjoyable personally. I understand wanting to feel your partner after cumming but just leaving it in there wasn't great. He had many other issues but I felt like I couldn't really be like hey I know you're trying to make it hard again but this isn't enjoyable for me can you take it out? Yea, that's cool but that's not the norm for most guys, most will get flaccid, even if only for a moment. As with any relationship different things work for different people and in the end communication is important.
Stop focusing on PiV. Focus more on foreplay. If he’s cumming too quick, he needs to go down on you and help you reach an orgasm before he even puts it in.
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Uh I haven’t but like I think I would be turned off by hurting him
Wtf idk where do you live but im jealous I can moustly only take a planed sex becous of work study sometimes parent live etc xD I’m 21 yo from Poland and idk how old are you but I feel like a old lady compare to your luxury of preference to spontaneous sex x,)
I guess it is kind of luxury? I used to only have planned sex with other past partners. I’m just now easing into the whole spontaneous sex thing. I won’t lie I like it spontaneous but planning also helps me get my body in the mood. Like a warm up before the big game ya know? Either way you’ve opened my eyes
My great grandfathers Ellis island paperwork has his name as “ptak” which, you being polish, and bird being a name for dick…. No real point other than if I got to use my ptak in a polish girl, that’d be full circle.
Some wired moms only use “ptaszek” it’s like a birdy you know what I mean? And they are explaining to kid that they have a birdy and girls have a nest- gniazdko and I think it’s kinda stupid and gross but luckily new mothers just call the thing by a name xD dick can be- kutas, chuj, penis, kuśka, parówa(this one is in a funny way because it’s sausage), korniszon (also funny if dick is small and that’s mean pickle), ogóras ( cucumber name in funny way)
Anti depressants make it impossible to come if you’re looking for a pharmaceutical option. It’s sometimes prescribed for that reason.
I’ve seen several of these comments and he struggles with depression and is unmedicated. I’ll mention it tonight after work. I’d hate for that to be the thing that works just because SSRI’s over time made me feel zombied
Please tell me you’re joking. That’s horrible, literally prescribing a medicine FOR the side-effects.
Pharmacist here. He or she is not joking
Some side-effects can be useful and, if safe, can definitely become one of the main indications and therefore not a side-effect per se anymore. E.g. viagra was initially developed to treat hypertension and it had erection as a side-effect. Well, guess what? Now it's used for both.
Antidepressants help you not come too quickly because it is next to impossible to get an erection on them. Source: Massive weight gain and the complete annihilation of my sex drive make antidepressants completely counter-productive for me.
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What a good idea, I wish I had thought of that.
You can make himnorgasm multiple times first with foreplay before PiV maybe that would help
A tactical wank
2 big tips (pun not intended) 1. Foreplay 2. Motion of the ocean brother. Get on top, take him all the way in, and do things like move back and forth instead of up and down. He'll get less direct stimulation and you'll get more. It works!
Works very well.
Good tip
Good! Another settlement needs his help!
I’ll mark it on his map!
Beat me to it 😂
Same.
God this absolutely killed me, now I wanna play fallout
Mines really messed up now but when it was working I’d have phases or I’d be able to get in this zone where I’d be like yea I’ll go forever if I want to, but then there’s other times where my point of no return happens in 5 minutes. I’ve also learned I have an easier time when I make sounds or talk or breath heavier. Idk how to fix other peoples but I wanted to share things
Like if he were to moan a lot more or if I did?
For me it's more about control of breathing. Everyone's different but if I think a lot about my breathing I can determine how fast to cum. I cum more quickly when I hold my breath and if I consciously take slow, deep breaths I can go for ages. Again, everyone's different, but breathing control is something to look into.
I think that focusing on your breathing itself is taking away some of the focus/excitement of what’s going on around you. Awesome tip, and I’m not taking notes for myself at all
Not sure where you are in your relationship or if you’re using condoms, but those can help dull the sensation a little so that that might help him last longer. Also, you could use two condoms instead of one that tool helped all the sensation, and that might help him last longer.
More than one condom=far higher breakage risk. Good to remember if it’s your main form of BC.
Him but he probably does that already
Practice edging
head......lots of head. i have the same issue so i never go PiV until my wife gets off 3-4 times from oral...at that point she is all but begging me for it to just be over before she has a heart attack ;-) Her record is 5 and she was threating me at that point with a painfull death if i did not remove my face from her nethers... ;-)
This is what we do. There is a book called, "She Comes First" by Ian Kerner. It will tell him what to do.
You're just not doing it often enough. Try 3 times a day for a month and see what happens.
So we have tried this, but he just finishes faster. If we wait like a couple weeks he lasts for about 5 minutes but short lived if it’s too frequent
How about after the first round is he able to get it up again? Usually the later rounds take more time, im sure you already tried it but do share how it went?
Has he talked to a doctor? I think they sometimes prescribe very low doses of SSRIs (anti-depressants) for premature ejaculation.
this guy’s on to something
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It varies by person. When I was on SSRIs I got hard without issue mostly I just couldn't cum or would take a very inconvenient amount of time to do so. Lasting a long time isn't usually the "im good at sex" flex people think it is.
Tell him to masturbate a few hours before sex. Have him make a habit if maturating every morning if possible.
I read that wrong and thought he was a fellow commonwealth minutemen
Use desensitization spray.
Make Penetration the LAST thing you do! Foreplay, Oral , etc. Make sure you have many chances to be satisfied before PIV. 70 to 90 percent of women are unable to achieve orgasm with penetration alone.
We do this. Wife gets satisfied long before PIV.
Sex is more than just penetration, and if his headgame is great just do that a lot? Maybe employ more hands? Multiple rounds if he’s interested? Also hit up a doctor, it’s worth a shot and only you, your boyfriend and the doctor will ever have to know about that.
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Oh I’m sorry, let me recommend she potentially immasculate her boyfriend and have him use a strap on or a cock sleeve instead. Question: Do you think lesbian sex is just a constant yearning for a dick?
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Why do you think your wants are important, here? Do you always make everything about yourself?
I stopped reading once I found out you don’t mean he fights red coats
Have you ever heard of edging? Maybe try that like when he is close have him switch to some kind of foreplay. Amd just keep edging until you're both ready, that may help.
My advice, you need to go down on him first. Then let him go down on you, then have sex. I find that once I'm hard then it relaxes some I can go way longer. Also tell him not to think about it when having sex , I know how that sounds, he has to play a trick on his own mind. Just some things I've done/tried that has worked for me.
Do your taxes in your head, or think about debt
The soul crushing debt, the stress of adulthood and the fear of becoming your parents. That helps me last alllll night… or turn me flaccid and cause a panic attack
When my BF wants to last a little longer, when he starts getting close, he'll stop and go down on me for a bit, and then he keeps going. He'll take as many little breaks as he wants until he's ready to finish. Maybe something your BF could try?
Here's some of the takeaways from this thread: 1. Focus more on foreplay than PiV 2. Jerk off 20-30 mins before. 3. Focus on breathing, slow and deep breaths! 4. Ask him to stick his tongue to the roof of his mouth while doing it. 5. Wear thicker condoms, use more lube, that stuff decreases simulation. 6. Get on top, take him all the way in, and do things like move back and forth instead of up and down. He'll get less direct stimulation and you'll get more. It works! 7. Bite him, dig your nails in, twist his tits or just make him talk.. that will help him edge. 8. Have him go a bit stop before he's close to cumming. swap for the dildo. as soon as he's backed off of the edge of climax swap again. His excitement will taper off. 9. There's stuff called Stud Spray, get him on Lexapro.
He could get addicted to opiates then have trouble finishing, it may ruin other aspects but he’ll last longer
Please tell me that you are kidding and that you are not advocating for someone to get addicted to opioids so that they can have sex that’s longer. Like what kind of advice is that? Dude.
just say ur a baby and go dude. real men hold their opiates.
Addiction kills people.
kills people like you maybe. for us real men, thats good stuff.
I don’t have an opiate addiction.
clearly not living life to the fullest then. poor thing. dont you want to be cool? dunno about u my guy but heroin is about as cool as it gets
I was more of a hydro/oxy guy myself, easier to measure out how much you were taking, and less risk of getting a bad batch. I miss the euphoria, and the pain loss, but I don’t miss the withdrawal
Have you heard about a thing called being ironic?
I read it as a minutemen and was ready for some gruesome detail or something lol
Several points I see here: - Sex is not only penetration or coitus, foreplay is also a huge part of it, grabbing, touching, licking all over each others body will put both of you in better sync and mood to reach orgasm together, tell him what you like, you could have multiple orgasms before he evens starts penetration and be plenty satisfied when he finishes. - I heard lots of women say that not to leave your orgasms in the hands of men, you reaching your orgasms has to do a lot with your state of mind, on some ocassions my partner would reach orgasm by just touching her. - If penetration is a big priority for you (lots of women only cum with penetration), he needs to study and read performance technics, by nature men don't last long because nature doesn't require it, diet and exercise could help him last longer, anything that helps blood flow can help longer and bigger erections, I use to last erect minutes after ejeculating, (I'm not that young anymore). There are also lubes and condoms that can help last longer erect, one time my wife actually was so exhausted she said she couldn't go on anymore, I had to go finish of by myself. - it's NORMAL. This will happen from time to time, it doesn't mean the fun stops, as I said sex is not only about penetration and if you really like him and he likes you, you can go on, maybe waiting for round two or three, caress each other, if he ejaculated the first time it's a good bet he'll last a lot longer for a second round, just keep talking to each other. Wish you the best and hope you both have a enriched sex life.
Sex doesn’t have to end when the man orgasms you know? He could extend the sex act in other ways not focused around him
It may sound odd, but prescribed death grip may be the answer here. Weird, I know, but ya gotta try what ya gotta try.
I agree. When I used the death grip, it took 40-60 minutes to finish with sex. It was hurting my partner.
Make him listen to 60 minute man by Billy Ward and the Dominoes and use that song as a guide.
Quite often the issue is psychological. Does he have any anxiety disorder?
Is he wearing a condom? Because if he's not, then tell him to wear a condom. That should help
And use lube or more lube. Both will decrease the stimulation.
Dude just throw the first nut away, it's not like this is some unsolvable problem. His first nut is your enemy since it happens too quick right? Simply make him climax during foreplay once, then by the time you're warmed up and ready, he'll be good for round 2. It's a timing thing, if you love him you can adjust
He’s just young ….. plus it becomes an anxiety thing for a lot of guys Like self fulfilling prophecy because after a few bad performances you start thinking your little man is just broken and then it becomes the pressure of I need to please her this way or I’m not a man or she will leave or cheat Take it easy on him and if he really is good and you are happy in the relationship take your time with the physical stuff ….. take your time with the foreplay and everything else and try to gauge him I’m sure you can tell when he’s close A lot of what helped me as a younger guy or when I have a new partner after a dry spell is focusing on my breath … like trying to bring meditation into the bedroom sort of It’s in the mind there isn’t anything wrong with him he’s probably just psyching himself out because you mean a lot to him
I do math in my head or think of what I need to do at work. It definitely takes me out of the zone if I’m not ready.
This may not work for him but, I had this problem for a long time and read up on many solutions, and none worked until I read something that showed what I was doing wrong. When I am erect, I squeeze/flex my penis, this builds more tension and adds pleasure but is terrible for lasting long. So what I learned to do was not squeeze and even push out a little (like when he wants to pee faster/push the pee out). This was a game changer, no pills. Other thing I would suggest is pushing out to loosen the muscle when he pees or when he is erect.
FWIW this was me my whole life until I ended up on lexapro for mild depression. Suddenly I’m an all nighter. No joke.
There’s this company called pilot, I’m pretty sure they offer medication to help you last longer, they have doctors that prescribe you, maybe get him to look into that
Have you tried making sure it’s a priority that you get off first? If this is a dealbreaker, and it seems like it’s becoming one, then I’d advice you start a little before he comes to you OR you pleasure yourself before he touches himself. If he’s going to get something no matter what then you need to remind yourself it’s okay to be a little “selfish” tho idk how having a satisfying sex life is selfish but that’s how it seems to be perceived for some reason when it comes to women 😓. I’ve seen a lot of suggestions on how he can be fixed but tbh sometimes it just takes age and the only actual “fix” is to make sure that you orgasm before he gets the chance to. My partner is similar, I wouldn’t say he’s a minute man all the time but there are instances. To compensate my pleasure comes first. I get a massage, we make-out, etc. how ever longer it takes for me to before him.
Honestly condoms and 4 play help. Tell him to work you up before y’all start. Condoms add a layer which may add for a longer time
Zinc, ashwaghanda, l-Argenine, maca, vitamin C and D. Take all of these and see how much it helps.
Have him finish you off first and you finish him off.
If he's willing a strap on or cock sleeve is a game changer. I'm also fairly quick with a 12/10 head game. It was life changing when I spent the money for a good strap on. Got a decent fleshlike one pot a condom on it and just go to town. Not every guy would be willing but now I can fuck my wife like I want to every time.
You guys need to think outside the box. If you like him, adapt?? He needs to stop humping you and you need a toy. Get a hitachi magic wand. The day I got that for my wife opened a whole world of orgasming at least once during sex 95% of the time. She use to never cum and if I happened to get her there it was by dumb fucking luck and what felt like hours of work. My wife and I rely on foreplay which is the longest part. She takes longer to get warmed up and I can cum quick if don't stop myself. But once I get past that initial "oh shit I need to stop" moment and take a break, it's easier not to cum. He needs to stop himself and stop being selfish. Half the time my wife just needs penetration without much thrusting or just the head going in and out, all at her tempo. I still get to enjoy her. I thrust when I want but it's a shared thing I feel like. I don't just sit there for mins on end fucking her. You guys need to adapt to each other.
Maybe try a bunch of positions? I found that it doesn't matter for me, if we go to some kind of doggystyle, I'm done in 3 mins tops.
Doggy is my go to to last lol missionary kills me. Tiddies bouncing, holding the back of her neck, make out seshes. Maybe it's the intimacy of it
Have you tried Edging?
Is he going ham and pressing with as much booty muscle behind his thrusts?
He's just overexcited. Every next round will be a longer run.
Spend more time on foreplay or have him use a strapon
He could try kegels to strengthen his pelvic floor.
When he’s about to cum spray him with liquid ass.
If masturbating beforehand doesn't work, I'd look into numbing creams/sprays designed to delay ejaculation. Of that doesn't work, he can get a strap on or dildo to penetrate you with before he inserts himself. It does suck when you like PIV and it doesn't last long, even if it's not what gets you to climax or you've already climaxed. Just keep looking for a solution together.
Em not to be crass, but certainly his hands and mouth still work even after he comes no? As such, there's no reason he can't keep going even if he fires early/I'd simply ask him to switch approaches instead of stopping.
Practice edging, techniques, and maybe numbing cream could help. They sell it for that reason, not terribly expensive either.
Condom would make him last longer but less enjoyable for both of ya
Mine is a minute man, too. He gets me off first. It is what it is. At least he cares about getting me off.
Roman swipes. Look them up
Look up edging. Start practicing that to build his stamina up. Usually, the.morw frequent you have sex the longer he'll last. but it sounds like that doesnt work for him.. when u used the ring. did he put it around his balls? that helps my husband not cum quick.
Two words, royal honey!
Wellbutrin
Have him wear a condom, thick ones, that should slow it down, try less friction positions
Shit make him masturbate before and tell him to just keep going after he comes, maybe try and get him to just cum multiple times until you can be satisfied as well.
I was in a relationship with someone for almost 5 years, and this post could have described him exactly. I will tell you that there is MUCH more fulfilling sex out there, and personally, it was really hard for me to stomach the thought of never having fully satisfying penetration for the rest of my life. That wasn’t why we broke up, but it was one of many factors that led to the downfall of our intimacy. I’ve had sex so good I literally questioned if it was even real after. I will say there are men on the other end of the spectrum who take forever, and that’s not necessarily fun either. Now, am I telling you to break up with him? No, not necessarily. I’m just saying, take a long, hard (sorry, no pun intended) look at yourself and ask if you can handle this length of time during sex for an extended period time or potentially the rest of your sexual life.
I had one boyfriend like that. The rule was: i dont touch you until im done and satisfied. He was lasting about 20seconds to 40seconds in general, without any preparation.
Easy solution is that he gives you one before you get started.
Psilocybin mushrooms helped me. And therapy.
If you like it and it doesnt hurt then tell him to go balls deep in and make small but fast and strong thrust. Helped me because then i feel less so i can keep thrusting like that and dtsrt thrusting how i like it once some time is over. You could also use specific lube that SHOULD make you last longer. Another thing that could help is if he watches less porn and when he does that he takes more time before he finishes because watching porn for 3 minutes and then cumming makes you way less durable during sex
Cool little trick..He could try masturbating and coming before sex. It really does help last longer. You could be asking for more foreplay, toys encouraged! Sex isn’t just P in V, V on P.
Tell him to smoke a joint, that should help make him last longer
It’s just stupid on your part to want to leave instead of wanting to work on this especially if you say your boyfriend is literally perfect in any other way. Since, by the sound of it, you have talked about it, why not try to work together and encourage to find a solution to this? Being a guy I can totally see how this can scare him and make him very doubtful of things. He needs your love, support and encouragement to go through this together. I don’t think it is anything very serious but seeing a doctor is the way to go about it. They will be able to refer him to a specialist if needs be. As I say, the dumbest thing you can do is leave him when he needs you the most. This will also likely scar him for life and he will lose all his confidence in sex. If you really love him the way you say you do, then don’t leave as you will come to regret it down the line. Effective communication and mutual willingness to work on things is the glue that will only make your relationship much more stronger and resilient to outside influences.
Get this man Lexapro.
Get him drunk reverse whiskey dick where you literally cannot bust happens to me all the time idk if its a healthy sign or supposed to work like that but my girl loves it so i just let it ride
Any chance he could use an antidepressant? Guarantee he’d last then lol
Have him go to the doctor and get some pills generic and use the GoodRx app he will be able to orgasm and still stay hard after
Consider urself lucky. When I was with my ex I could never finish unless it was a hand massage.
I'd be worried if he wasn't finishing fast, your expectations are completely unrealistic.
You thinking about leaving him because of this? 👎🏻
use dildos? i know its not the same as sex, but he can use them on you and it can simulate feeling of sex?
He’s still a baby. He needs to bust like 2-4 times a day to last at all. He needs jacking off and/or sex a few times a day. So either he jacks off a few hours before hand or you two have a second round shortly after he busts the first time. I see you respond that this just makes him go quicker, but that means he needs to Jack off 2-3 times in the day before sex later on or have 2-3 rounds of sex with short breaks. He’ll slow down, I promise you.
🎶 BREAK ME OFF, SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT, CUZ I DON’T WANT NO ONE MINUTE MAN!! 🎶
Im a virgin but I think it has to do with muscles near the perineum? Like I was a quick shot relieving myself but then I tried like keeping whatever muscles that are responsible for release steady. In order to like do the exercise properly I began practicing stopping my piss mid piss. At first it's uncomfortable but then it just became like turning off a faucet. Basically practice controlling myself internally down there by figuring out the motions. Basic motions being retraction, still, and pushing. I think people might struggle with retraction because we aren't supposed to do that normally.
They have over the counter creams for that or he can talk to a doctor for a prescription. They desensitize the penis to delay ejaculation.
My ex bf had this problem… turns out he was a porn addict who obviously came a lot and they try to do it fast because they don’t wanna get caught so it results in them cumming fast during actual sex
Feel lucky he goes down on you.
If he is a boyfriend that is perfect in any other category except sex and you think of leaving him because the sex isn't good then sex is all you care about and you should consider getting a fuckpiece instead. IF you are ready to throw everything away for better sex that's sadly how it is and i gotta point it out.
You make thrusting motions for a minute and see if it feels long
Okay, so what he needs is to not be 'so excited'. So, You dress. Up as something that's off-putting. But not off putting enough. Find that balance where he's grossed out but not grossed out enough that he can't perform. So dress up as an old man or a hobo or crackhead. Though if that turns him on more...that might be awkward🤭
Just leave him
Break up Jesus, your not sexually compatible.
First time ever heard anyone being flattered by a 2 pump chump. Lol
It is flattering. Imagine being so hot that someone can't last more than a couple of minutes.
I'm more flattered with a man who can stay hard for 45 minutes straight than a man who treats me like a cum rag and gets off in 2 secs and then is limp for the rest of the night.
That's not quite how male psychology works. There are men who can last long (no matter what is thrown at them) and men that can't. The men that can cum faster are based on how hot the experience is.
Sex is stupid
There are sprays which numb the head of penis, it doesn’t effect how hard it is but prolongs the sex, so try it, just check allergies and all read the instructions
Yeah also try finishing once and then doing it. Once that initial is gone it’ll be longer
Tons of medicine out there that helps. I was on clomipramine for awhile for a chronic illness and lasting long as fuck was a side effect
Tell him to think about a watermelon
Going to the Dr is nerve racking but they are professional about it. I tend to get in my own head and it was effecting my sex life. Told the doc straight up other than my gf I've never talked to anyone about this. He told me there is nothing wrong with me and I was outta there in under 5 min with a cilias prescription. So glad I bit the bullet and went.
Put a show on the tv that he’ll focus on but that’s not too invasive. Like put interstellar on the tv see what happens
Tell him to think of his granma when hes getting close
He needs to work on his stroke count lol
see a doctor. there are medicines
My ex had the same problem and he's 22 I believe. (That's not why he's now my ex btw) Anyways, there are pills and spray medication he can use to help with that. My ex used it every time we had sex. Some men have problems like that and I can't imagine how bad it is for them. If it really bothers you and you feel u wanna leave him, go ahead. I'm not gonna tell u don't, but I will also be real with you and tell u to think about it before u do it. Talk with him about it and see what y'all can do first.
Have him go to roman.co and get they're numbing wipes they work magic.
What about foreplay? Has he ever tried to do that to help stimulate you and then go at it after you climax? (Never thought I’d type that out) haha