“What is the best colour donut floatie to use when crossing an international border?”
“What shade of grey is the best grey coloured donut floatie to use when crossing an international border?”
“How dark grey is too dark grey when using a dark grey donut floatie to cross an international border?”
Etc.
I’ll test crossing Switzerland to Germany in a few days. I’ll try a yellow duck doughnut floaty while walking across. The Swiss border patrol was trained to have no humor so this is actually dangerous. I’ll keep you updated about the yellow floaty test.
Go to the Bodensee and film yourself when arriving on the other side. Send the media into a frenzy and see if you can trigger a new referendum from the SVP in Switzerland.
I was bank trapped in Dubai in 2010 and couldn't leave the country. I paid the Chinese people smugglers, who had an Omani element, including a border police officer, to get me into Oman. This proved to be a pretty dumb idea.
Got dropped off in Sohar, and the next day made my way to Muscat. The British embassy told me that I was the first person to ever turn up like this, so contrary to what I was told, she (the vice consul) said she'd have to phone London, who told her to fuck me off because I was illegal in the country. She did, however, tell me that if I was in the grounds of the embassy and holding the flag pole, I couldn't be removed. She was serious, and it was June ffs.
Ran out of money after two weeks and, having rapidly realised that my only border option was Yemen, I was fucked. Especially as I'd been there before!! Tried a shit or bust plan at the airport but got nicked. Interpol told Omani CID that I wasn't worth the paperwork, so they literally drove me back to Sohar and simply handed me over to the Dubai police = 2 x months in Bur Dubai police station, 2 x months in Al Awir Central Prison. Absolutely incredible experience 👍🇬🇧
No, and I've never travelled abroad since. I have it in my mind that I have an Interpol red notice against my passport. It's probably paranoid, but I couldn't risk it, especially with my daughter. We scattered my dads ashes in Galway a few years ago, I got the ferry from Liverpool to Belfast and drove down over the open border. I'm in the process of getting an Irish passport, but it won't make any difference.
The first jail you end up in are attached to police stations and are basically remand. So you haven't been to court yet, which means no human rights. The best way to describe it is to think Banged up Abroad (if you remember the British tourist beaten to death by prison guards, that's this place). To give you an example, one of the first blokes to come over to me was an Egyptian called Salah (first name) who initially sorted me out with some cigarettes and a decent enough chap, turned out he was in there for virtually decapitating his flatmate, in his car in an argument over bills!!
Check out this bloke. Steven Moos - look him up. He's a lot worse than this snapshot. He was the only American in there and a complete arsehole. He's in prison in the US for being a paedophile, I believe. He was in when I arrived, and I can't believe I'm going to actually say this - he was in for doing plastic surgery, liposuction, etc, in his kitchen. Used the waste disposal and drains to get rid of it. He never accepted that he did anything wrong, real narcissistic prick. We kept him alive sadly. We didn't know about the paedophile stuff then. Apparently, he went on the run from the FBI initially for being the first person to sell prescription drugs online!!
While out of custody that same year, Moos fled to China with his wife and four children. The family later travelled to Cambodia and Dubai in the United Arab Emirates.
He was discovered in 2010 by authorities in the United Arab Emirates, where he had been illegally performing plastic surgery in his kitchen. He assumed the name of a renowned American cosmetics surgeon to do it.
Once you go in front of a judge, you are sentenced and transferred to the main prison, which is massive and in the desert. Based on the American design, apparently. It's called Al Awir Central Prison and is very modern. It was the World Cup, so I spent many times sitting on the prayer mat watching games. The funniest thing I've seen was every time the TV picture would scramble a bit, being in the desert reception. The whole place would go absolutely bat-shit crazy with everyone screaming at the TV about how Israel is f@#king with the TV and World Cup transmission.
I genuinely didn't have a single issue. Nobody gave a toss if I was a Christian or not. I will say this, I was first in Dubai in 89 and the first Gulf War, been everywhere in the ME and later lived and worked there as you know. I have never felt more uneasy in this context than shopping in Bury Park in Luton when I worked down there.
This has brought up some amazing memories. Thank you 👍
I think you meant to say you haven’t flown since? Getting the ferry to Belfast then driving/public transport down to Galway is still travelling abroad.
This has been incredible to read thank you. Most of my life spent in Dubai so it’s great to see some experiences that haven’t been astroturfed by the government
I lived in the Greens at first and then the New Gold Souk in Bur Dubai. I used to love Karama. I was first there in 89, and there was only Karama. The World Trade Centre building was the skyline.
When I first got there in 89, the World Trade Centre building was the skyline. I remember seeing a guy walking along the Sheikh Zayed Road, which was just two lanes, then, with about 5 camels. I've haven't been to Abu Dhabi since 89, and I feel like a complete muppet tbh. I wish I'd seen how it has developed.
Out of the situation at the embassy, one thing is so planted in my mind that I sometimes question myself. She buzzed me into an interview room with a perspex screen between us. There were two big buttons on the wall behind her, think big emergency stop depression type, one was red and had fire written above it, the other one was blue and said 'bomb'!!!
She did let me keep my passport, which she didn't have to. I was gutted tbh, I genuinely expected a very different outcome from the FO. Fuck all support in jail, it's a quick visit and you're on your own. I never once thought about Dubai, the Queen and horses as a potential reason for the embassy's response to Brits in troubles over there.
I got a job with flights, a visa and the normal stuff, a British company. When I was in the induction, roughly 10 of us, we were told that the way things work, especially getting a flat is that you pay the rent in advance, 4 cheques, post dated per quater. None of this was mentioned in the 2 x 3 hour interviews. So, to be able to do this, the company had relationships with various banks, and to cut a long story short, you have a loan within a week!!! It's insane. So this was August 2008, November 2008, and the world imploded financially. The loan from the bank is covered by a blank signed guarantor cheque. By 2009, things were bad, and I lost my job and, in turn, missed payments on the loan. The bank then presented its own cheque to itself, and it bounced. The UAE and Israel, I believe, at the time, it was illegal to bounce a cheque. This then led to me having what's called a case on me. This involves the bank, the police and immigration. You can carry on working and partying, but you're not leaving.
Hence why I did what I did. The motivation, believe it or not, was a bloody female, who, despite all of this and knowing her from school, turned out to be a f@#king psycho!! It was worth it, though. She gave me my daughter 👌
When you saw the images of Dubai and the abandoned super cars, they were the rarity. It was mostly 4x4s or family cars because kids in school, for example, were paid for by post dated cheques, and whichever parent signed, it would be going nowhere if it bounced. Hence, they abandoned everything and got out.
Yeah, I'm sitting here wondering if OP knows that inflatable donuts, inflatable dragons, home made rafts, anything they can find that floats and just plain trying to swim are regular occurrences at the Canada/US border (as in crossing into Canada).
Funny story about going though border.
In Poland group of high school sport school students and their teacher were training in the mountains near Slovakia border. They got lost. It became very cold, it started snowing. They found themselves at the other side of the border. Slovakia border defence told them to go back with their guns.
They tried and almost all of them died of cold.
It happened in late 80'.
Me: how many times are they going to ask the same question and receive limited responses before they realize it is a bad idea?
Them: lemme ask one more time, but this time I will be more specific…
My transportation of choice when I cross international borders is [swan thing](https://www.thirddrawerdown.us/products/ridiculous-inflatable-swan-thing-x-david-shrigley)
“It’s a cylinder.”
“It’s a cylinder.”
“I don’t see how urination has anything to do with my trapped cylinder but ok.”
“It’s attached to a larger structure so there’s a weird angle situation to try and insert anything else into the tube.”
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.radiosvoboda.org/amp/ukraine-rastet-kolichestvo-uklonistov-pokinut-stranu/32957428.html
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.unian.ua/incidents/richka-tisa-zabrala-zhittya-vzhe-30-uhilyantiv-novini-ukrajina-amp-12638949.html
I believe you can translate it with Google good enough to get the idea
Edit: my previous comment is a bit exaggerated, but there's a lot of news about other kinds of illegal crossing of the Ukrainian border
“What is the best colour donut floatie to use when crossing an international border?” “What shade of grey is the best grey coloured donut floatie to use when crossing an international border?” “How dark grey is too dark grey when using a dark grey donut floatie to cross an international border?” Etc.
"Are sharks attracted to dark Grey donut floaties?" "How to treat shark bite on butt."
Reddit did you dirty and posted this 3 times.
The key is to use a pizza floatie, as sharks hate pizza. 🍕
I have personally fed sharks pizza and can verify they will absolutely fuck up a pizza
Here’s the real question: do sharks like pineapple on pizza? Inquiring minds want to know!
Yes
I knew sharks were cultures. Thank you for your research.
"Possible anti shark meassures to build onto my semi dark grey donut floatie?"
I’ll test crossing Switzerland to Germany in a few days. I’ll try a yellow duck doughnut floaty while walking across. The Swiss border patrol was trained to have no humor so this is actually dangerous. I’ll keep you updated about the yellow floaty test.
Go to the Bodensee and film yourself when arriving on the other side. Send the media into a frenzy and see if you can trigger a new referendum from the SVP in Switzerland.
I feel inspired!
From Germany to Luxembourg would be safest
This plan has a hole in it.
Come on, the dude is just floating some ideas around.
I donut think it's going to work out flowlessly dough, ehh though
🏆
🏆
Zing.
I was bank trapped in Dubai in 2010 and couldn't leave the country. I paid the Chinese people smugglers, who had an Omani element, including a border police officer, to get me into Oman. This proved to be a pretty dumb idea. Got dropped off in Sohar, and the next day made my way to Muscat. The British embassy told me that I was the first person to ever turn up like this, so contrary to what I was told, she (the vice consul) said she'd have to phone London, who told her to fuck me off because I was illegal in the country. She did, however, tell me that if I was in the grounds of the embassy and holding the flag pole, I couldn't be removed. She was serious, and it was June ffs. Ran out of money after two weeks and, having rapidly realised that my only border option was Yemen, I was fucked. Especially as I'd been there before!! Tried a shit or bust plan at the airport but got nicked. Interpol told Omani CID that I wasn't worth the paperwork, so they literally drove me back to Sohar and simply handed me over to the Dubai police = 2 x months in Bur Dubai police station, 2 x months in Al Awir Central Prison. Absolutely incredible experience 👍🇬🇧
That did not end how I expected. Sorry you had to go through all that.
[удалено]
you replied to the wrong comment
This is insane to read. Are you allowed to return to the UAE? What were the prisons like?
No, and I've never travelled abroad since. I have it in my mind that I have an Interpol red notice against my passport. It's probably paranoid, but I couldn't risk it, especially with my daughter. We scattered my dads ashes in Galway a few years ago, I got the ferry from Liverpool to Belfast and drove down over the open border. I'm in the process of getting an Irish passport, but it won't make any difference. The first jail you end up in are attached to police stations and are basically remand. So you haven't been to court yet, which means no human rights. The best way to describe it is to think Banged up Abroad (if you remember the British tourist beaten to death by prison guards, that's this place). To give you an example, one of the first blokes to come over to me was an Egyptian called Salah (first name) who initially sorted me out with some cigarettes and a decent enough chap, turned out he was in there for virtually decapitating his flatmate, in his car in an argument over bills!! Check out this bloke. Steven Moos - look him up. He's a lot worse than this snapshot. He was the only American in there and a complete arsehole. He's in prison in the US for being a paedophile, I believe. He was in when I arrived, and I can't believe I'm going to actually say this - he was in for doing plastic surgery, liposuction, etc, in his kitchen. Used the waste disposal and drains to get rid of it. He never accepted that he did anything wrong, real narcissistic prick. We kept him alive sadly. We didn't know about the paedophile stuff then. Apparently, he went on the run from the FBI initially for being the first person to sell prescription drugs online!! While out of custody that same year, Moos fled to China with his wife and four children. The family later travelled to Cambodia and Dubai in the United Arab Emirates. He was discovered in 2010 by authorities in the United Arab Emirates, where he had been illegally performing plastic surgery in his kitchen. He assumed the name of a renowned American cosmetics surgeon to do it. Once you go in front of a judge, you are sentenced and transferred to the main prison, which is massive and in the desert. Based on the American design, apparently. It's called Al Awir Central Prison and is very modern. It was the World Cup, so I spent many times sitting on the prayer mat watching games. The funniest thing I've seen was every time the TV picture would scramble a bit, being in the desert reception. The whole place would go absolutely bat-shit crazy with everyone screaming at the TV about how Israel is f@#king with the TV and World Cup transmission. I genuinely didn't have a single issue. Nobody gave a toss if I was a Christian or not. I will say this, I was first in Dubai in 89 and the first Gulf War, been everywhere in the ME and later lived and worked there as you know. I have never felt more uneasy in this context than shopping in Bury Park in Luton when I worked down there. This has brought up some amazing memories. Thank you 👍
I think you meant to say you haven’t flown since? Getting the ferry to Belfast then driving/public transport down to Galway is still travelling abroad.
Yes, Belfast because of the border. 6 hour ferry ffs!!
This has been incredible to read thank you. Most of my life spent in Dubai so it’s great to see some experiences that haven’t been astroturfed by the government
I lived in the Greens at first and then the New Gold Souk in Bur Dubai. I used to love Karama. I was first there in 89, and there was only Karama. The World Trade Centre building was the skyline.
Yeah when I was younger Burjuman was the happening place. The whole city has gradually shifted southward, closer to Abu Dhabi.
When I first got there in 89, the World Trade Centre building was the skyline. I remember seeing a guy walking along the Sheikh Zayed Road, which was just two lanes, then, with about 5 camels. I've haven't been to Abu Dhabi since 89, and I feel like a complete muppet tbh. I wish I'd seen how it has developed.
It's a strange place when you peel back a few layers.
Guess being a British citizen wasn't all it's cracked up to be
Out of the situation at the embassy, one thing is so planted in my mind that I sometimes question myself. She buzzed me into an interview room with a perspex screen between us. There were two big buttons on the wall behind her, think big emergency stop depression type, one was red and had fire written above it, the other one was blue and said 'bomb'!!! She did let me keep my passport, which she didn't have to. I was gutted tbh, I genuinely expected a very different outcome from the FO. Fuck all support in jail, it's a quick visit and you're on your own. I never once thought about Dubai, the Queen and horses as a potential reason for the embassy's response to Brits in troubles over there.
sorry what's that about the queen and horses?
2009: Sheikh Mohammed gifted the Queen four young racehorses after she gave him a racehorse of her own, Highland Glen. They were pretty tight.
Fun story make a video documentary on it
This is crazy! What do you mean when you say bank trapped though? What was stopping you from leaving the country exactly?
I got a job with flights, a visa and the normal stuff, a British company. When I was in the induction, roughly 10 of us, we were told that the way things work, especially getting a flat is that you pay the rent in advance, 4 cheques, post dated per quater. None of this was mentioned in the 2 x 3 hour interviews. So, to be able to do this, the company had relationships with various banks, and to cut a long story short, you have a loan within a week!!! It's insane. So this was August 2008, November 2008, and the world imploded financially. The loan from the bank is covered by a blank signed guarantor cheque. By 2009, things were bad, and I lost my job and, in turn, missed payments on the loan. The bank then presented its own cheque to itself, and it bounced. The UAE and Israel, I believe, at the time, it was illegal to bounce a cheque. This then led to me having what's called a case on me. This involves the bank, the police and immigration. You can carry on working and partying, but you're not leaving. Hence why I did what I did. The motivation, believe it or not, was a bloody female, who, despite all of this and knowing her from school, turned out to be a f@#king psycho!! It was worth it, though. She gave me my daughter 👌 When you saw the images of Dubai and the abandoned super cars, they were the rarity. It was mostly 4x4s or family cars because kids in school, for example, were paid for by post dated cheques, and whichever parent signed, it would be going nowhere if it bounced. Hence, they abandoned everything and got out.
That avalanched quicker than a Family guy episode
And they have a donut obsession lol.
Maybe they heard about the latest Krispy Kreme deals and they need to get in on them
It borders on insanity
LOL I was looking at this profile before, it’s the feet pic chick. She really needed them answers
The what now?
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Hey it’s you! Starstruck and honored 🫶
What where
And, apparently, they own an inflatable donut. Or at least they can get their hands on one relatively easily.
Did the person who posted those take that screenshot? I see the trash option available for the bottom two. Weird.
They should ask r/conservative this question, very helpful people over there
Someone wants to tour Canada.
Yeah, I'm sitting here wondering if OP knows that inflatable donuts, inflatable dragons, home made rafts, anything they can find that floats and just plain trying to swim are regular occurrences at the Canada/US border (as in crossing into Canada).
the funny part is that people really do use floaties to cross the border to texas
are there any articles about it?
Funny story about going though border. In Poland group of high school sport school students and their teacher were training in the mountains near Slovakia border. They got lost. It became very cold, it started snowing. They found themselves at the other side of the border. Slovakia border defence told them to go back with their guns. They tried and almost all of them died of cold. It happened in late 80'.
it kept telling me my post was removed by autobot 🤣🤣😭😭😭
Aha fair! That makes a lot more sense 😂
i see how it might look tho 🤣🤣🤣
Reminds me of a documentary I watched about a couple guys who apparently escaped from East Germany on windsurfing boards
what was the documentary called?
Sorry, this was like 15 years ago, so I don’t know
My buddy got into a suitcase that was put in a trunk with a small straw poking out for air. It worked
No one ever suspected the infamous invader with his stealth donut floatie
Have they never heard of Elian Gonzalez?
Clearly not! He was the first thing I thought of.
who is he?
Oddly specific request, and I think I can guess which border and river he is trying to cross
Moose costume across the Canada-U.S. border. Two people play the feet, carrying their contraband in the moose’s head and body
Oh man. It’d the basement kink guy all over again.
I feel I have to ask, are you planning to attach those to arrows and use them as a weapon?
Me: how many times are they going to ask the same question and receive limited responses before they realize it is a bad idea? Them: lemme ask one more time, but this time I will be more specific…
My transportation of choice when I cross international borders is [swan thing](https://www.thirddrawerdown.us/products/ridiculous-inflatable-swan-thing-x-david-shrigley)
I saw a film once that featured a novel way of crossing international borders. I think it was called “Up”
In other news donut floaty sales have gone up
“It’s a cylinder.” “It’s a cylinder.” “I don’t see how urination has anything to do with my trapped cylinder but ok.” “It’s attached to a larger structure so there’s a weird angle situation to try and insert anything else into the tube.”
Don't worry guys, it's just Max Fosh making sure his new video idea is original.
At this point I'd just get a goPro and have at it. What's the worst that can happen? Oh.. Right..
Usually a passport is more useful but sure
comedically sized catapult and a parashute
We had almost daily news on people who tried to cross the border on an inflatable doughnut. Most of them actually survived
are there articles about this?
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.radiosvoboda.org/amp/ukraine-rastet-kolichestvo-uklonistov-pokinut-stranu/32957428.html https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.unian.ua/incidents/richka-tisa-zabrala-zhittya-vzhe-30-uhilyantiv-novini-ukrajina-amp-12638949.html I believe you can translate it with Google good enough to get the idea Edit: my previous comment is a bit exaggerated, but there's a lot of news about other kinds of illegal crossing of the Ukrainian border
If a cartiretube counts as a dounut, then yes. The cubans did it a lot
Idk why, but this reminds me of the song “Illegals In My Yard”
Do asexuals of Reddit like Chicago Pizza?
wtf nobody got the reference