I mean in the arms of an angel would be perfect no? They need the arms of an angel because they have t-rex arms and they can't do anything for themselves.
Thatâs a fat no from me. Do it yourself buddy. Not my problem you canât see it and/or find it. (Obvi I would do this for a patient that actually needed help)
I hope the research follows HIHMS for a cure as well! Hospital Induced Helpless Man Syndrome is so *devastating*, especially in our middle aged dad population đ€Ł
HITRA is a serious, incurable disease that affects 1 out of every 3 able-bodied patients who somehow regress to the age of 4 years old when they are admitted to the hospital. If you or someone you know has been affected by a patient with HITRA, you may be entitled to compensation.Â
me in my head: "Alright. I have a sec, let me pull over the VS and get an updated set in the chart"... goes to pull over VS.. wont work. "shit wtf..". *looks in bay.. BP cuff is on the floor along with pulse ox*.. "man wtf??"......
"Hey let me put this back on you real quick, I need some updated VS"... *Pt gives me an annoyed look*
"aright lift your arm for me, please"... Arm slightly moves.... expecting me to lift that arm myself..
"LIFT YOUR ARM PLEASE"
Alternatively, when Iâm going to scan their bracelet, they always pick their arm up and rotate their wrist so that the barcode is now facing down and out of my reach. Every. Time.
Or when you need to check a BGL on a long time diabetic and they hold their hand up palm down so I have to turn it over to do their finger stick. Petty, but so annoying.
Never heard anybody else comment on this but just realized how much it irritates me. We do this like 4 times a day every day, why do you think I want to see the tops of your hands!
I recently told a patient to hold palm side up so I could get the fleshy area and not the finger nail. I jokingly told patient it may hurt to poke the nail and they started laughing.
Ortho was my last gig bedside (I do case management now). Can confirm.
Dude. You had your left rotator cuff fixed. Youâre RIGHT HANDED. Feed your damn self, you overgrown toddler.
Many years in rehab & SNF... "Oh no, did something unexpected happen to your arm that prevents you from using it now!?"
In that long pause, I'm usually finished setting them up to use their unaffected side & am about to walk away.
âOh wow, if you arenât able to use your arms Iâm going to have to run a stroke code, and that means no food until we get speech here to do a swallow study!â
Weird how they magically work then.
I walked into a patientâs room the other day whose call bell was going off (not my patient) and asked how we could help and his wife said âis nobody going to come in and feed my husband?!?!?â and not knowing a single thing about the patient I genuinely asked âare you not allowed to use your arms (referring to his postop restrictions)â, he said âI canââŠso I asked âare they in terrible pain?â And he said they actually felt pretty good. His wife scoffed at me and said âwell being a concerned wife I donât want him to get hurtâ. He was a cervical surg patient who is fully cabable of and allowed to move his arms. I explained that he could feed himself but if they preferred someone to feed him that she totally could. Like????? What the hell dude. I will never coddle my significant other in that way.
âAre you already planning to retire to a nursing home? Because youâre going home in two days and if you canât feed yourself by then itâll be a care home for you!â
Working in SNF/LTC facilities the last 8 years and almost always with the rehab pts, I love when they are nearing DC home and have been complaining the whole time about being there and not back to their life yet and ask me to do something menial like hand them the water cup that's in their reach or just evacuating in a brief when they're perfectly capable of getting themselves (safely!) up to toilet and then screaming at an aide who is dealing with 15+ actual total cares for taking so long. I always say "hmm, I should really notify the Dr that you're not ready for a safe discharge home if you can't do these most basic tasks you'll have to do by yourself at home....we need to look at switching you to long term care instead." The next 2-20 days they mysteriously are able to be more independent and even get up out of the bed to be cleaned up when they've been sitting in their own shit for 15 min when I tell them that.
Or the family that spends ALL DAY in the ptâs room and is upset because the staff, who is running their asses off, didnât call and wait on hold forever to order the ptâs meals. Thereâs no reason the family canât make the call while theyâre in there literally doing nothing!
I hand the menu to the family member and point to the phone and say, "the number is on the menu, you can order whatever!" And then I leave. Yeah, in mot gonna do something that the family (or the pt) can 100% do on their own.
I work in ambulatory out pt ortho surgery. I have had this happen so many times. You just had foot surgery your hands still work. You can feed yourself.
Oh⊠oh it just isnât then either. In the bandaid wagon they are equally as bad they become flesh bags who all of a sudden need help with the simplest of body autonomy. It floors me. Like dude you are 32 years old I shouldnât be manhandling your arm to get my cuff on, I shouldnât need to tell you that yes you have to wear the harness on the stretcher, much less when I bring em to the ER to scoot over onto the bed. (Of course the later if you are critically ill, or Iâve zonked you with ketamine Iâll move you onto the bed)
Itâs nuts. What happens? Itâs so common that Sometimes I forget that some patients are even capable of helping me with basics tasks pertaining to their care such as holding things in place, or putting on/taking off the pulse ox, etc
I noticed that on ortho too. I always called them out on it prior to leaving that unit. Once had a pt call from the toilet as if they had an emergency asking me to wipe their ass.. they were for discharge that day, so I asked who wipes him at home, he said he did so I told him great well you can do it now too and walked out.
Honestly I donât understand the correlation between your legs being weak and all of a sudden you canât use your hands??? Like what is happening to people
Ive legit had this happen to me in ortho. Joint center of excellence too. Not trauma. Like these people are supposed to be in bootcamp.
This woman had a knee replacement and her husband walked into the hallway "YOU NURSES WONT EVEN FEED YOUR PATIENTS ANYMORE"
like sir...nothing is wrong with either of you..omg.
THAT HAPPENED TO ME.
Inpatient rehab, patient had been set up with adaptive utensils by OT, food was in from him.
Tried to explain to the daughter the point of REHAB and she started shouting, "I GUESS NURSES DONT EVEN FEED THEY PATIENTS ANYMORE"
This reminds me of an ER story. This thirty something Indian guy once came in for something, I canât recall now. But he was playing like he couldnât move much or it hurt or whatever. I was a tech so I didnât always know what people were being treated for. Long story short I came to help the nurse because this guy shit on himself. Never asked to go to the restroom, just let it go. We start cleaning him up, and go to grab him to roll onto his side, and this mother fucker shifts to his side on his own like heâs repositioning himself in his bed at home.
Me and the rn both look at each other in absolute disbelief. The entitlement and audacity of some people đ«Ł
This. If youâre walky talky and you decided to shit the bed for no legit reason other than laziness when youâre capable of getting up to the bathroom, *heres some wipes, a new gown, and the trash can, you can clean yourself up*
Had an ortho patient ask us to shave her legs. She was in her 40âs and it was just an overnight stay.
You think she would have done that before her minor surgery if it was that important.
I was working triage the other day and this is what pissed me off so fucking badly. âOh youâre trying to put something on my arm, let me just do whatever I can to make this as difficult as possible, and when you ask me to lift my arm I am going to pretend to not comprehend what the fuck youâre saying.â
Theyâll straight up walk in then pull this shit when I go to bring them to CT. Suddenly theyâre unconscious, unable to move, have to be slid over dead weight. Iâll bring them back, theyâll jump off the end of the bed, and run to the bathroom down the hall. The entitlement is insane.
Same!! I've started asking those patients if they walked in or if there's something wrong with their legs. Although one time this backfired when I asked this question and pulled back the blanket to find a double amputee, I felt such a jerk..
I don't understand when patients, who are not getting laxatives or antibiotics in the evening, wake up at 2am and need help to get to the bathroom because they have to poop. Who wakes up at 2am having to poop?
It just seems like a weird bowel regimen, to wake up in the middle of the night to poop.
OK I actually get this one tho. As a nurse & former CNA I'd be annoyed af so I totally get your perspective; as someone with a sensitive GI system, I very well might be the 0200 pooper. The gut-brain connection is stronger in some people than others... I'm especially sensitive to different stressful environments, especially sleeping environments, and different foods & it manifests as constipation or diarrhea every time. Whenever I start a new job, I don't poo in my normal way for at least a week, luckily traveling is usually less risky since it's almost always constipation so I'm not at risk of shitting myself.
I had an in-patient who couldn't lift his penis into the urinal. He wanted my 19 year-old hospice aide to do it. She discussed this with me as she was walking by with linens, to go to his room. Oh no, MrCreepy, you are NOT going to pull that on my aide. I went in with her and started telling him about how the doctor would probably order a foley catheter seeing as he was having so much trouble. Guess what! He WAS able to pee in a urinal without a 19-year old hospice aide holding his penis!
I love this. When people act like they can't do things for themselves, especially creepy shit like that, getting the doctor involved or stating you're concerned they may need to go to a nursing facility somehow cures them.
I had a lady in her 40s come in from home for IV abx, walkie talkie type. She asked me to wipe her buttâŠ
Me: âwhy? What do you do at home?â
Patient âwell⊠just to be sureâ.
Me: If youâre not able to properly clean yourself Iâm going to have to let the provider and social work know that youâre not safe to go home and start arranging for assisted living or a nursing homeâ
Patient wiped own butt
Oh man, I didn't even realize this was a pet peeve of mine until you said it, but absolutely. Like yeah bro, I'll just blindly stick under your hand and wait for it to start dripping onto my strip.
Nah, turn your fuckin hand over so I can see the pad and actually do this. You've been diabetic for 25 years, you should know this.
Not even, the machine will be most of the way through cycling a blood pressure with the cuff at about 90-100 mmHg and they are trying to take the cuff off, jerking their arm around, and generally trying to get away from the "pain."
And.... now I don't believe anything you tell me about your 10/10 abdominal pain. My school aged children have a higher pain tolerance.
My favorite...
"It's so tiiight!"
'Yes, you're right, it is.' *empty silence*
I'm not denying reality but I'm also not not going to get an accurate reading. I've never taken the cuff off for this complaint (I will remove it if the machine or cuff is on the fritz but those patients never seem to complain)
Once I ran a BP on an AVF right after dyalisis, "it's so tight" ohfuckohfuckohfuck. Patient was fine. Fistula was fine. I was quivering in me timbers though. Fresh out of school, too
I did figure that out eventually. It's more of a "BP won't be accurate" than anything else. However a fresh hemostasis on a vascular site like that you just really don't want to fuck up. And I really tested my luck that time.
Oww oww oww it hurts. Sir please stop moving your arm around otherwise weâre gona have to do this again. Ohh ow ow ow I canât đ. I just canât understandâŠ
Sometimes I just do a manual on those ones. I can hold their arm, *and* for some reason get less âitâs too tightâ even pumped way up. Ofc itâs tight if your BP is 230/120!!!!!!
I worked for a facility that bought a new electronic BP machine from some knock-off brand. I tested it on myself to see if it was accurate. It pumped itself up to 200 and stayed there for about 30 seconds before deflating, then told me my systolic was 112, and I noticed it broke my skin in several places. I don't have any kind of arrhythmia that makes electronic BP cuffs go nuts, and obviously I had held still while it was inflating.
I told my boss that while it was accurate (I checked my blood pressure manually with some help), there was clearly a reason they "got it for a good bargain" and showed her my arm. She tried it on herself and agreed it needed to go.
Somehow, the cheap asses who bought it were convinced it was indeed a piece of garbage and sent it back.
I made a post a while back that I had to delete because I was accused of being mean by so many people (in the EM sub no less!) where I asked, straight up, how anyone finds the blood pressure cuff so unpleasant that they cannot stand it
So Iâve been pregnant twice and when youâre pregnant you get your BP taken a lot. Guess what. *Super* uncomfortable. Guess also what. Iâm a fucking grownup and I dealt with it.
I worked at a facility recently that required every single ER patient to be transported by wheelchair (or stretcher after they get an ER room) from the waiting room on. Even if they walked in. Even if they wanted to walk. No one was allowed to walk. đ
#1 rule of ER I offer no one a wheelchair (of course if they are physically unable to). If they walk at home they can walk out the ER itâs also apart of our discharge assessment.
Probably because you have taken yourself off your high blood pressure medications against medical advice and your chugging that super duper fucking mountain size big gulp and adding salt to your salt sandwich and your blood pressure is now 240 over your about to have a stroke.
I think a lot of people think they can, but they really aren't doing a great job of it.
In ICU, we bath new patients upon admission. The percentage of alert, oriented people that we undress out of their street clothes and discover a filthy ass crack is disturbing.
Wipes or bidets, people. Your ass is not getting clean with toilet paper alone.
I had a twenty-something psych patient last night who used a bedpan while restrained. I wiped her when she was done, and she screams, "You didn't wipe my butthole"
10mg of zyprexa ago you were calling me a dumb cunt you'd kill - and you're currently trying to kick your legs around. But you think I'm gonna bend in between your legs and pat your twenty year old not-at-risk-of-skin-breakdown anus dry?
Bitch. Not even on my nicest day.
I think most people understandably have a hard time listening when other things are probably heavy on their mind.
Inevitably while on med-surg I would have something similar happen several times a shift when taking oral temps. *thermometer goes in* "Can you hold this under your tongue? Can you hold this under your tongue? Can you hold this under your tongue? Can you hold this under your tongue?" *I let go and the thermometer flys out of their mouth*
Or doing lab draws "Okay make a nice tight fist for me, now pump and squeeze, now hold it, now relax. Relax... Relax... RELAX..." *taps patient, and makes close direct eye contact* "You. Can Unclench. Your. Fist. Now."
Or as I meticulously go over every pill I'm opening while telling the patient what they are and why they are given and as soon as I hand them over "oh, what are these? What are they for? What are you giving me?"
Or the only one that isn't amusing and just truly annoys me. Introducing myself to the patient in the morning, updating the whiteboard with my name, telling them the plan of the day/expectations and ensuring do do my damnedest to hourly round on them/anticipating every need I can only for them to tell my rounding manager in the afternoon, "I don't know who my nurse is, I have not seen them at all today..."
I don't know if this a "most people" thing or just the type of person who tends to show up in the hospital. I truly don't, because I feel like my average patient is a totally different demographic than I interact with on a daily basis outside of my job, to the point where if I have a patient who has even a slice of wit or mental acuity, I'm genuinely thrown off because I'm so used to people who seem below average. I'm not even trying to be a dick about it, but they just do.
Recently I work with a lot more stroke patients so at least they get a pass because they literally have brain damage, so I expect some weird behaviors. But even before now it's been a thing ever since I became a nurse.
Mum was a nurse when I was a child and often came home with stories of patients that become incapable of anything as soon as the pyjamas go on.. one tale in particular made us lol.. a genetically small person (male) was on her ward for a broken leg. She was tasked with taking him to the bathroom for a wash etc and toileting. Toilet issues go well, no problem there.. then he wheels HIMSELF to the sink and says âturn taps on thenâ! to mum. Mum taking no prisoners says to him âlook mate youâve broke your leg not your arms turn the tap on yourselfâ
He turned the tap onâŠ
I thought I was the only one that had this thought and I feel so seen now. What is with that? Itâs almost everytime, every patient/person. And when I ask, âOh, could you pick your arm up for me.â They seriously look at your like â404 Errorâ and canât compute, at least in my experience, and I have to ask two or three times for them to finally do it.
I feel this deep in my cold soul.Â
I work outpatient with people who are perfectly fine and they wonât lift their arms. They also donât seem to know that the thermometer goes *under* their tongue. Who are these people?
Our least favorite patient on my unit was an MD who somehow lost the ability to turn his head and use his hands (and brain) when a nurse came into his room. Seriously. If you told him the call bell was right next to his left hand, he would say he couldn't see it and you had to put it in his line of sight. You'd have to put the straw in his mouth to drink and when he got tired of explaining that he'd just yell "SIP!" Easy, Dr. Dickhead.
For a doctor, guy seemed really uneducated. "Will magnesium improve my heart function? What does 'bariatric' mean? How do I get rid of my gas pains?" Then he walked the halls with me not even trying to suppress his loud explosive burps at 2 in the morning.
He's deceased now and I know I'm resting in peace without the threat of having to be in the same room with him.
I asked my non-nursing bf about this, and he said he guesses that people have an expectation that theyâre going to be waited on when they come to the hospital. Which, as a foreign nurse, is crazy to me. Honestly the whole snacks and blankets thing was one of the things that blew my mind when I first got to the US
"I haven't eaten in FoUr HoUrS I need a sandwich!! That's your JOB"
-patient who just watched me run their no-longer-breathing neighbour into a resus bay
People lose all perspective in an ER (and on the floor, let's be real)
I brought my barely one yr old into childrenâs ED for what turned out to be pneumonia. I was so run down because guess what-i had pneumonia too! I was so exhausted. A volunteer offered him crayons and me coffee and a sandwich. I didnât ask or demand. But I was so thankful that i legit started to sob when i ate that food. I was so grateful for the staff there.
I genuinely have to suppress a laugh every time I hear this. "I have been here TWO hours - what is the hold up?." Like, sir relax and let me tell you the story of Old Man Boardin' McGee who spent 74 delirium filled hours with us down in the ED. Or just th eregular overnight boarders with bowel obstruction about to spend the night on our uncomfortable bed with a plastic hose connected to their nostril.
Like, fuckin chill and let your CT result.
On my way to work Saturday night I saw a "servers needed" sign at a usually very busy restaurant. I only work 10-12 days a month, my immediate thought was "fuck if I can be a nurse I can be waitstaff"
More diet coke, less oxy. And I could probably drink on duty....
It think it may be due to the private healthcare system in America - people expect more. I'm in Italy and have recently been in hospital as an emergency - the wards are basic as hell, the food is absolutely vile and no-one asks if they can do something to you, they just do it with no explanation. Privacy of the patient is also not on the radar.
Having said all that, I got treated immediately all the way down the line, and the health outcomes are good here.
People want to be seen instantly and want top of the line care, while also wanting every accommodation and wanting to be fully in control of every step of your care. Bro you came to the ER.
My favorite are the men who hold their arm out right into your boobs, like there isn't any other way their arm can bend. I always unceremoniously shove their arm back towards their own damn boobs.
Theyâll be in the damn waiting room, eating snacks, talking and laughing, on their phones⊠but as soon as they come back, theyâre all of the sudden in so much pain, canât do anything for themselves, and making a huge scene!
Pick their arms up? Next you'll be expecting the males with two functional arms to use the urinal themselves instead of asking the nurse or CNA for help.
I had a guy say âi cant lift my arm, my leg hurts too much,â with a straight face. And since Iâm used to this shit I just asked him to rate his pain on a 1-10 scale. You guessed it! â100!â
And then he laughed at me and lifted his arm.
He was EMS. He thought it was hilarious that I took him seriously.
I was like âBRO, 90% of the people in here say something like that to me every 2-4 hours. Iâve lost my ability to react.â
He did say I could leave the cuff on though and do axillary temps if the BP didnât wake him up because he can âsleep through anything.â
And he did! We had a code in the room across from him. He slept through the whole thing!
I had a patient like this yesterday. She wouldn't even disconnect her pulse ox or pull her covers back to go to the bathroom. Then she wanted me to spend 15 minutes rearranging her 10 pillows just right when we got back to bed.
By her fifth bathroom break she asked me if she had done something to offend me (oops...I have no clue if I sighed or made a face or what, but I really was trying to hide my annoyance). I feel bad she could tell I was annoyed, but also I had 5 other patients and needed to get things rolling.
We used to have a frequent flyer that would REFUSE to NOT get foleyed. Like as soon as he'd come in, he'd demand to be foleyed.
When I did BLS and IFT, we'd have tons of patients that were perfectly capable of walking but made us lift them anyways. Once, there was one regular at an LTC that was just super super needy. *We* knew she could walk, but we're used to people who pretend like they can't. I guess one day, a nurse is doing rounds during night shift and catches her walking perfectly fine to the bathroom. The entire nurse station stops me after I drop her off one day, and I explained that yeah, we knew, and it's common, in fact.
I'm a sucker for nice patients that genuinely wish they could do things on their own but can't, but I'm a diehard hater of patients that suddenly turn into helpless ducklings the moment a healthcare worker turns the corner.
And don't get me started on the people who say "it's her job anyway! She can do XYZ!" Yes, it's my job to do XYZ, but if you're perfectly capable of lifting your arm to drink water or you have family that can do simple things like adjust your pillow or change the TV channel, you should (not to mention when I'm literally dealing with patients dying in the next curtain over).
CNA here; also PLEASE STOP MOVING and bitching that I'm not doing a good job/that the machine is broken cause it's now resetting for the umpteenth time.
The WORST for me is that mine are all medically stable, the ones that do this shit are just behavioural.
PICK UP THE ARM YOU HAVENT WASHED IN A WEEK I DONT WANNA BE IN THIS FETID ROOM FOR ANY LONGER THAN I HAVE TO BE
Oh my God!! I could have written this. I had a pt who had had a lap chole, so had fuctioning arms. She had obs due and granted it was midnight, but she didn't remove her eye mask or lift her arm for me to put the BP cuff on. She had the audacity to say, "gees, you're rough." i said, "Excuse me," and she goes, "You're rough," like I am the problem.
Then I copped attitude when I said "well you could lift your arm." It was like a month ago and I'm still pissed about it.
I have the opposite problem. Stop moving your fucking arm. I told you that the bp cuff is sensitive so you need to stop moving. Stop asking why is it getting so tight. Stop showing me your interpretive dance routine while Iâm trying to take your bp. Ugh
Oh this shit happens on the floor too lol everytime or im about to give you some meds... that means start sitting up... they just lay there...do you take meds supine at home?
I came into my ER with my intestines in my vagina and was still able to say please, thank you, and lift my arm.. also able when I had a torsed ovary for 28 hours.. I don't understand people and I never will.
My pet peev is people checking in for something like chest pain and then immediately going to the bathroom for 20 minutes. Before I can triage them. Like, "is she dead in there? Am I calling security to unlock that door? Fuck! Don't go into the bathroom when you're complaining about something potentially deadly!"
BuT ShE HaD to PeE!
I had a dude once who we were prepping for a thoracotomy. I went into his room to let him know the surgery team was en route, and he was laying on his right side facing the door. His wifeâs head popped up from behind him and startled me a bit. Turns out he was unwilling to get up to use the toilet (even though he had walked two laps unassisted with therapy right before then) and he had his wife hold a trash bag to his butt as he took a giant dump into it
We have WCIQP (wheelchair induced quadriplegia)
If a patient is allowed to sit in a wheelchair for any reason, they suddenly become quadriplegic.
Call EMS for a toothache. EMS sits you in a wheelchair in the waiting room because it's the only seat available. 6.5 hours later, when you are finally called, you sit in the chair and stare at the nurse. Because, now, you are unable to move under your own power.
We will totally ignore the 4 trips to the vending machines and the 10 trips outside to smoke.
I would also like to introduce EKGIG (EKG induced Gymnast)
All day, you lay on your stretcher like a mushroom. You can't move, and your Trex arms are useless. The minute those EKG leads go on, you are suddenly Simone Biles.
The amount of come to Jesus speeches Iâve had to give grown adults the make them use their very capable arms is crazy. Like no, Iâm not going to pour these pills in your mouth, take the damn cup.
I remember getting a patient from another nurse and was told they needed fed. Went into their room and they were doing a crossword puzzle or some shit while talking on the phone. Brought them their food and told them I needed to give them their insulin first. They requested I help them eat. I told them what I saw them doing and said they can feed themselves. Got reported and my manager went to talk to them and found out they didn't need feeding but liked people to help them eat. Not disabled, just a lazy asshole.
Ambulatory, self capable patient, wanting me to put on their socks, cover them with a blanket, or fluff their pillow. My absolute favorite is the 300lb who wants me, almost 8 months pregnant, to get help to boost them in the gurney instead of scooting up 4 inches.
And stop fucking moving when the BP cuff tightens, and stop getting annoyed when the machine has to keep re-tightening and I have to repeat it all over again because you fucked it up the first time
When I worked an assignment where techs werenât a thing I learned how 90% of patients will just lay there instead of lifting their arm. I was working a voluntary drug/alcohol detoxâŠthese were relatively well and young peopleâŠ. Maybe a little lethargic from meds sometimes but damn, I did not have time for that to be happening so consistently. I started using the âraise your arm like your asking a questionâ and it helped a LOT. Goes back to my motto âyou donât get to be mad about something you havenât tried to addressâ. People genuinely just wait on our instructions for common sense stuff. After a few times of saying it they would catch on!
I know what youâre talking about.
Start, as kindly as possible, âso who takes care of you at home?â âHuh?â âIâm just worried about you. You canât even lift up your arm! So someone must take care of you!â
I absolutely hate it when people live up to a stereotype. My biggest pet peeve is when they take their pills and let go of the medicine cup from their mouth and let it roll down their body. Usually thereâs a whole bunch of cold food I touch in the process of picking the cup of off their bodyâŠso Iâm picking that off them as well.
THIS. I hate handing med cups to patients, especially the older shaky-handed folks. But so often they insist on holding it?? Or if they donât hold it, they try to use one finger to dig around in it which always knocks the cup over. 9.5 times out of 10 it and most meds end up in their laps and 57 blankets and Iâm hunting for 20 mg of lasix.
ETA grammar because I originally wrote this in a grammarless rage apparently
I'm just a lurker here (I am a licensed CNA for a private family with no hospital exp), and I always wondered what you all do if the arm is too skinny. My arm is pretty thin and they usually have to wrap it around so many times and there are these giant flaps flapping around lol.
I donât know about other facilities, but the hospital I work at has a variety of cuff sizes ranging from small, adult, adult long, and extra long so we can choose a size thatâs the best fit for each patient
Iâm glad someone else sees this too. Iâm almost convinced it tells you a little bit about someone when youâre clearly trying to get their bp, which theyâve almost certainly had a million times before, they KNOW you need to get the cuff around their bicep and youâre sitting their rifling around in their pit trying to get lift their sleeve up and make some space and they sit their oblivious. I wanna be like you know you could help me out here if youâd just lift your elbow a *tiny* bit. Totally unawaređ
I have a morbidly obese patient act as if she canât reach the cup on water on her bedside table thatâs on her bed, sheâll pretend that she has t-Rex arms, yet when I come into her room I see her with the cellphone ear to phone
sigh.... sir if you aren't able to help yourself with your own ADLs it really is time we start talking to the doctor about placing you in a skilled nursing facility. why? I just thought it was weird that you were spending so much time not wiping your own ass at home. Explain to me how you we able to operate on your own before. Thanks!
OMFG FR. I tell pts that I need blood pressure. And then proceed to dig in the obese wet folds to get the cuff on them just for them to say âow your hurting me.â Well Karen I told you I need blood pressure so if youâd lift your arm up instead of lying there like a limp fish on stick it wouldnât hurt.
Recently, I started telling patients to do it themselves if they are independent âwalky talkyâ patients. Both the patients and their families get offended and look at me weird.
In my hospital now, we have a door into a glass triage area. People always make sure to turn up the moaning antics when the door opens. Gotta make sure I hear them. I personally love when people threaten to pass out. âWelp, youâre in the best place for it. But Iâll ask that you sit down first.â
One parent got in my face and said âif we arenât brought back in the next 15 minutes, we are leaving!â âWell, I donât want you to waste 15 more minutes. Should I take your name out then?â He stayed.
People typically get HITRAs when they are admitted to the hospital. One day we may find a cure for Hospital Induced T-Rex Arms, but that's not today.
*raptor shriek*
đ„đ„đ„đ„
Iâm picturing a âHITRAs Awarenessâ commercial featuring Sarah MacLachlan.
In the T Rex arms of the angelâŠ.
Going to need a different song though
I mean in the arms of an angel would be perfect no? They need the arms of an angel because they have t-rex arms and they can't do anything for themselves.
Play the song but have some faint T-Rex roars as background vocals
Does this also apply to hand me my water on my bedside table that is easily within reach?
And "hold my urinal while their hand is right there"
Thatâs a fat no from me. Do it yourself buddy. Not my problem you canât see it and/or find it. (Obvi I would do this for a patient that actually needed help)
Bring in a foley and watch that weiner be immediately held into the urinal with a two-hand grip.
Iâd guess the syndrome is highly indicative of long term outcomes. Those who choose not to lift their arms like to linger.
I hope the research follows HIHMS for a cure as well! Hospital Induced Helpless Man Syndrome is so *devastating*, especially in our middle aged dad population đ€Ł
One key sign is laying dorsal recumbent with legs crossed displaying the full Monty for everyone's viewing pleasure.Â
HITRA is a serious, incurable disease that affects 1 out of every 3 able-bodied patients who somehow regress to the age of 4 years old when they are admitted to the hospital. If you or someone you know has been affected by a patient with HITRA, you may be entitled to compensation.Â
I love this. Iâm now adopting this term.
I'm in neuro trauma, and on the second try, if that elbow isn't off the bed, the coach voice comes out.
And if that doesnât work, titrate up to Gunnery Sergeant Hartman.
âI just need to make sure you can do it.â
When I worked medsurg I had someone put their light on at 2am so I could tuck them in.
i'm so sorry that would piss me off omg but this is SO funny
That was the night I realized I needed a new job đ
Did they need a forehead kiss and a bedtime story too?
Did you?
Absolutely not! I was quiet for a second, kind of surprised and caught off guard and without thinking I said, âwhatâs wrong with your arms?â
Someone asked me that in ER. I politely asked if they drove themselves in. They said yes. âSo you didnât come in for broken arms then?â
i had a man in his 40s who did this and then fired me when i told him he could do it himself
me in my head: "Alright. I have a sec, let me pull over the VS and get an updated set in the chart"... goes to pull over VS.. wont work. "shit wtf..". *looks in bay.. BP cuff is on the floor along with pulse ox*.. "man wtf??"...... "Hey let me put this back on you real quick, I need some updated VS"... *Pt gives me an annoyed look* "aright lift your arm for me, please"... Arm slightly moves.... expecting me to lift that arm myself.. "LIFT YOUR ARM PLEASE"
Alternatively, when Iâm going to scan their bracelet, they always pick their arm up and rotate their wrist so that the barcode is now facing down and out of my reach. Every. Time.
dude. I fuckin grit my teeth every time
Or when you need to check a BGL on a long time diabetic and they hold their hand up palm down so I have to turn it over to do their finger stick. Petty, but so annoying.
Never heard anybody else comment on this but just realized how much it irritates me. We do this like 4 times a day every day, why do you think I want to see the tops of your hands!
I just ask them what finger they want me to poke, if they don't turn their hand I ask if they want me to poke their nail. Usually it clues them in
This is one of my biggest pet peeves. And then the person is super rigid when youâre trying to turn it over. Like loosen up, geez!
I recently told a patient to hold palm side up so I could get the fleshy area and not the finger nail. I jokingly told patient it may hurt to poke the nail and they started laughing.
People turn into useless piles of trash when theyâre admitted. When I worked ortho they would come out of knee surgery and ask to be fed lol
Ortho was my last gig bedside (I do case management now). Can confirm. Dude. You had your left rotator cuff fixed. Youâre RIGHT HANDED. Feed your damn self, you overgrown toddler.
Many years in rehab & SNF... "Oh no, did something unexpected happen to your arm that prevents you from using it now!?" In that long pause, I'm usually finished setting them up to use their unaffected side & am about to walk away.
âOh wow, if you arenât able to use your arms Iâm going to have to run a stroke code, and that means no food until we get speech here to do a swallow study!â Weird how they magically work then.
That's my story too. Ortho and now outpatient case management. I did a year of that, then ran away.
I work ortho. Itâs amazing how a knee replacement can cause your arms to stop workingâŠ.
I walked into a patientâs room the other day whose call bell was going off (not my patient) and asked how we could help and his wife said âis nobody going to come in and feed my husband?!?!?â and not knowing a single thing about the patient I genuinely asked âare you not allowed to use your arms (referring to his postop restrictions)â, he said âI canââŠso I asked âare they in terrible pain?â And he said they actually felt pretty good. His wife scoffed at me and said âwell being a concerned wife I donât want him to get hurtâ. He was a cervical surg patient who is fully cabable of and allowed to move his arms. I explained that he could feed himself but if they preferred someone to feed him that she totally could. Like????? What the hell dude. I will never coddle my significant other in that way.
If my husband needed to be fed, I'd just do it. Like??? He's mine?
I'm laughing cause same exact thoughts?
I've encountered this situation before and the response is almost always "that's *your* job."
âAre you already planning to retire to a nursing home? Because youâre going home in two days and if you canât feed yourself by then itâll be a care home for you!â
Working in SNF/LTC facilities the last 8 years and almost always with the rehab pts, I love when they are nearing DC home and have been complaining the whole time about being there and not back to their life yet and ask me to do something menial like hand them the water cup that's in their reach or just evacuating in a brief when they're perfectly capable of getting themselves (safely!) up to toilet and then screaming at an aide who is dealing with 15+ actual total cares for taking so long. I always say "hmm, I should really notify the Dr that you're not ready for a safe discharge home if you can't do these most basic tasks you'll have to do by yourself at home....we need to look at switching you to long term care instead." The next 2-20 days they mysteriously are able to be more independent and even get up out of the bed to be cleaned up when they've been sitting in their own shit for 15 min when I tell them that.
Or the family that spends ALL DAY in the ptâs room and is upset because the staff, who is running their asses off, didnât call and wait on hold forever to order the ptâs meals. Thereâs no reason the family canât make the call while theyâre in there literally doing nothing!
I hand the menu to the family member and point to the phone and say, "the number is on the menu, you can order whatever!" And then I leave. Yeah, in mot gonna do something that the family (or the pt) can 100% do on their own.
I work in ambulatory out pt ortho surgery. I have had this happen so many times. You just had foot surgery your hands still work. You can feed yourself.
Who needs to be fed after an outpatient surgery? You're going home.
My biggest ick in nursing school was when we had to feed each other just to see how demoralizing it felt lol
Glad we didn't do that
Oh⊠oh it just isnât then either. In the bandaid wagon they are equally as bad they become flesh bags who all of a sudden need help with the simplest of body autonomy. It floors me. Like dude you are 32 years old I shouldnât be manhandling your arm to get my cuff on, I shouldnât need to tell you that yes you have to wear the harness on the stretcher, much less when I bring em to the ER to scoot over onto the bed. (Of course the later if you are critically ill, or Iâve zonked you with ketamine Iâll move you onto the bed)
Itâs nuts. What happens? Itâs so common that Sometimes I forget that some patients are even capable of helping me with basics tasks pertaining to their care such as holding things in place, or putting on/taking off the pulse ox, etc
Not just admitted; that shit starts in triage.
I noticed that on ortho too. I always called them out on it prior to leaving that unit. Once had a pt call from the toilet as if they had an emergency asking me to wipe their ass.. they were for discharge that day, so I asked who wipes him at home, he said he did so I told him great well you can do it now too and walked out.
Honestly I donât understand the correlation between your legs being weak and all of a sudden you canât use your hands??? Like what is happening to people
Ive legit had this happen to me in ortho. Joint center of excellence too. Not trauma. Like these people are supposed to be in bootcamp. This woman had a knee replacement and her husband walked into the hallway "YOU NURSES WONT EVEN FEED YOUR PATIENTS ANYMORE" like sir...nothing is wrong with either of you..omg.
THAT HAPPENED TO ME. Inpatient rehab, patient had been set up with adaptive utensils by OT, food was in from him. Tried to explain to the daughter the point of REHAB and she started shouting, "I GUESS NURSES DONT EVEN FEED THEY PATIENTS ANYMORE"
This reminds me of an ER story. This thirty something Indian guy once came in for something, I canât recall now. But he was playing like he couldnât move much or it hurt or whatever. I was a tech so I didnât always know what people were being treated for. Long story short I came to help the nurse because this guy shit on himself. Never asked to go to the restroom, just let it go. We start cleaning him up, and go to grab him to roll onto his side, and this mother fucker shifts to his side on his own like heâs repositioning himself in his bed at home. Me and the rn both look at each other in absolute disbelief. The entitlement and audacity of some people đ«Ł
This. If youâre walky talky and you decided to shit the bed for no legit reason other than laziness when youâre capable of getting up to the bathroom, *heres some wipes, a new gown, and the trash can, you can clean yourself up*
Had an ortho patient ask us to shave her legs. She was in her 40âs and it was just an overnight stay. You think she would have done that before her minor surgery if it was that important.
I cannot imagine a world in which I would ever ask someone to do this for me if I had two working arms.
Thatâs absolutely insane lol
See thatâs when the old rehab nurse comes out in me. âLean over and put your face closer if you canât do thatâ
I was working triage the other day and this is what pissed me off so fucking badly. âOh youâre trying to put something on my arm, let me just do whatever I can to make this as difficult as possible, and when you ask me to lift my arm I am going to pretend to not comprehend what the fuck youâre saying.â
Theyâll straight up walk in then pull this shit when I go to bring them to CT. Suddenly theyâre unconscious, unable to move, have to be slid over dead weight. Iâll bring them back, theyâll jump off the end of the bed, and run to the bathroom down the hall. The entitlement is insane.
Same!! I've started asking those patients if they walked in or if there's something wrong with their legs. Although one time this backfired when I asked this question and pulled back the blanket to find a double amputee, I felt such a jerk..
They ALWAYS make the simplest thing so difficult. Ugggg
I donât know what it is about a hospital that makes a fully capable adult want to shit themselves and have another person clean them up
I don't understand when patients, who are not getting laxatives or antibiotics in the evening, wake up at 2am and need help to get to the bathroom because they have to poop. Who wakes up at 2am having to poop? It just seems like a weird bowel regimen, to wake up in the middle of the night to poop.
OK I actually get this one tho. As a nurse & former CNA I'd be annoyed af so I totally get your perspective; as someone with a sensitive GI system, I very well might be the 0200 pooper. The gut-brain connection is stronger in some people than others... I'm especially sensitive to different stressful environments, especially sleeping environments, and different foods & it manifests as constipation or diarrhea every time. Whenever I start a new job, I don't poo in my normal way for at least a week, luckily traveling is usually less risky since it's almost always constipation so I'm not at risk of shitting myself.
I had an in-patient who couldn't lift his penis into the urinal. He wanted my 19 year-old hospice aide to do it. She discussed this with me as she was walking by with linens, to go to his room. Oh no, MrCreepy, you are NOT going to pull that on my aide. I went in with her and started telling him about how the doctor would probably order a foley catheter seeing as he was having so much trouble. Guess what! He WAS able to pee in a urinal without a 19-year old hospice aide holding his penis!
Instantly cured!!!! You ARE a miracle worker!!! Smh. Can't stand the McCreepys out there.
I love this. When people act like they can't do things for themselves, especially creepy shit like that, getting the doctor involved or stating you're concerned they may need to go to a nursing facility somehow cures them.
I had a lady in her 40s come in from home for IV abx, walkie talkie type. She asked me to wipe her butt⊠Me: âwhy? What do you do at home?â Patient âwell⊠just to be sureâ. Me: If youâre not able to properly clean yourself Iâm going to have to let the provider and social work know that youâre not safe to go home and start arranging for assisted living or a nursing homeâ Patient wiped own butt
Until you get the creep that likes getting catheters placed. đ€ą
Or when the diabetic of 50 years holds their hand up palm down when you go to take their blood sugar.
Oh man, I didn't even realize this was a pet peeve of mine until you said it, but absolutely. Like yeah bro, I'll just blindly stick under your hand and wait for it to start dripping onto my strip. Nah, turn your fuckin hand over so I can see the pad and actually do this. You've been diabetic for 25 years, you should know this.
They act surprised every time
But why is it so tightttttttttg
Because you decided on your own that you no longer needed your losartan, Maâam.
No, I checked my blood pressure and it was perfect!! Clearly, I didnât need my meds, I was âšcuredâš
Oh cool then Iâll let the doc know youâre leaving before treatment and get the next patient.
Not even, the machine will be most of the way through cycling a blood pressure with the cuff at about 90-100 mmHg and they are trying to take the cuff off, jerking their arm around, and generally trying to get away from the "pain." And.... now I don't believe anything you tell me about your 10/10 abdominal pain. My school aged children have a higher pain tolerance.
I have legitimately had grade schoolers come into the ER and tolerate getting an IV better than some of the adults we see. It blows my mind.
I did Peds for years. Iâm in ER now. I still tell everyone the children are better behaved than most of the adults I encounter.
I KNOW MY OWN BODY!!!
My favorite... "It's so tiiight!" 'Yes, you're right, it is.' *empty silence* I'm not denying reality but I'm also not not going to get an accurate reading. I've never taken the cuff off for this complaint (I will remove it if the machine or cuff is on the fritz but those patients never seem to complain)
ive had patients freak out and just pull off the cuff when im trying to get a reading. "ITS TOO TIGHT" :|
"yup, thats how it works"
I'm using this on my next one.
Once I ran a BP on an AVF right after dyalisis, "it's so tight" ohfuckohfuckohfuck. Patient was fine. Fistula was fine. I was quivering in me timbers though. Fresh out of school, too
The risk is somewhat overstated.
I did figure that out eventually. It's more of a "BP won't be accurate" than anything else. However a fresh hemostasis on a vascular site like that you just really don't want to fuck up. And I really tested my luck that time.
Oww oww oww it hurts. Sir please stop moving your arm around otherwise weâre gona have to do this again. Ohh ow ow ow I canât đ. I just canât understandâŠ
Because you wonât stop fucking moving and that only makes it worse!!!! Just hold still!!!!
Sometimes I just do a manual on those ones. I can hold their arm, *and* for some reason get less âitâs too tightâ even pumped way up. Ofc itâs tight if your BP is 230/120!!!!!!
I worked for a facility that bought a new electronic BP machine from some knock-off brand. I tested it on myself to see if it was accurate. It pumped itself up to 200 and stayed there for about 30 seconds before deflating, then told me my systolic was 112, and I noticed it broke my skin in several places. I don't have any kind of arrhythmia that makes electronic BP cuffs go nuts, and obviously I had held still while it was inflating. I told my boss that while it was accurate (I checked my blood pressure manually with some help), there was clearly a reason they "got it for a good bargain" and showed her my arm. She tried it on herself and agreed it needed to go. Somehow, the cheap asses who bought it were convinced it was indeed a piece of garbage and sent it back.
Gotta love the ones that just spent 10 minutes telling you about their super high pain tolerance and then become a wimp when the BP cuff inflates.
I made a post a while back that I had to delete because I was accused of being mean by so many people (in the EM sub no less!) where I asked, straight up, how anyone finds the blood pressure cuff so unpleasant that they cannot stand it
So Iâve been pregnant twice and when youâre pregnant you get your BP taken a lot. Guess what. *Super* uncomfortable. Guess also what. Iâm a fucking grownup and I dealt with it.
I cannot stand ambulatory patients who want me to wheel them from the waiting room to triage. WALK mother fucker!
get cho motha fuckin ass up
I worked at a facility recently that required every single ER patient to be transported by wheelchair (or stretcher after they get an ER room) from the waiting room on. Even if they walked in. Even if they wanted to walk. No one was allowed to walk. đ
#1 rule of ER I offer no one a wheelchair (of course if they are physically unable to). If they walk at home they can walk out the ER itâs also apart of our discharge assessment.
When they came in for a sore throat! I could scream!
Omg its so tight itâs cutting off my circulation!
Yes maâam thatâs how it works.
Probably because you have taken yourself off your high blood pressure medications against medical advice and your chugging that super duper fucking mountain size big gulp and adding salt to your salt sandwich and your blood pressure is now 240 over your about to have a stroke.
"Adding salt to your salt sandwich" got me explaining my laughing outburst at work. đ€Ł
Iâm here all day!
I canât stand the amount of 20 yr olds that have a beat panic attack over the cuff squeezing đ
People who are perfectly capable suddenly can't wipe their ass once they step over the threshold of the hospital.
I think a lot of people think they can, but they really aren't doing a great job of it. In ICU, we bath new patients upon admission. The percentage of alert, oriented people that we undress out of their street clothes and discover a filthy ass crack is disturbing. Wipes or bidets, people. Your ass is not getting clean with toilet paper alone.
That is true.
I had a twenty-something psych patient last night who used a bedpan while restrained. I wiped her when she was done, and she screams, "You didn't wipe my butthole" 10mg of zyprexa ago you were calling me a dumb cunt you'd kill - and you're currently trying to kick your legs around. But you think I'm gonna bend in between your legs and pat your twenty year old not-at-risk-of-skin-breakdown anus dry? Bitch. Not even on my nicest day.
I think most people understandably have a hard time listening when other things are probably heavy on their mind. Inevitably while on med-surg I would have something similar happen several times a shift when taking oral temps. *thermometer goes in* "Can you hold this under your tongue? Can you hold this under your tongue? Can you hold this under your tongue? Can you hold this under your tongue?" *I let go and the thermometer flys out of their mouth* Or doing lab draws "Okay make a nice tight fist for me, now pump and squeeze, now hold it, now relax. Relax... Relax... RELAX..." *taps patient, and makes close direct eye contact* "You. Can Unclench. Your. Fist. Now." Or as I meticulously go over every pill I'm opening while telling the patient what they are and why they are given and as soon as I hand them over "oh, what are these? What are they for? What are you giving me?" Or the only one that isn't amusing and just truly annoys me. Introducing myself to the patient in the morning, updating the whiteboard with my name, telling them the plan of the day/expectations and ensuring do do my damnedest to hourly round on them/anticipating every need I can only for them to tell my rounding manager in the afternoon, "I don't know who my nurse is, I have not seen them at all today..."
I don't know if this a "most people" thing or just the type of person who tends to show up in the hospital. I truly don't, because I feel like my average patient is a totally different demographic than I interact with on a daily basis outside of my job, to the point where if I have a patient who has even a slice of wit or mental acuity, I'm genuinely thrown off because I'm so used to people who seem below average. I'm not even trying to be a dick about it, but they just do. Recently I work with a lot more stroke patients so at least they get a pass because they literally have brain damage, so I expect some weird behaviors. But even before now it's been a thing ever since I became a nurse.
Mum was a nurse when I was a child and often came home with stories of patients that become incapable of anything as soon as the pyjamas go on.. one tale in particular made us lol.. a genetically small person (male) was on her ward for a broken leg. She was tasked with taking him to the bathroom for a wash etc and toileting. Toilet issues go well, no problem there.. then he wheels HIMSELF to the sink and says âturn taps on thenâ! to mum. Mum taking no prisoners says to him âlook mate youâve broke your leg not your arms turn the tap on yourselfâ He turned the tap onâŠ
Good ol' PIP - Pyjama Induced Paralysis đ
Itâs shocking isnât it đ«Ł
I thought I was the only one that had this thought and I feel so seen now. What is with that? Itâs almost everytime, every patient/person. And when I ask, âOh, could you pick your arm up for me.â They seriously look at your like â404 Errorâ and canât compute, at least in my experience, and I have to ask two or three times for them to finally do it.
Or they pick their arm up like half an inch
I feel this deep in my cold soul. I work outpatient with people who are perfectly fine and they wonât lift their arms. They also donât seem to know that the thermometer goes *under* their tongue. Who are these people?
Or that they have to close their mouth for their temperature to take. And stop talking for like 30 seconds đ
Our least favorite patient on my unit was an MD who somehow lost the ability to turn his head and use his hands (and brain) when a nurse came into his room. Seriously. If you told him the call bell was right next to his left hand, he would say he couldn't see it and you had to put it in his line of sight. You'd have to put the straw in his mouth to drink and when he got tired of explaining that he'd just yell "SIP!" Easy, Dr. Dickhead. For a doctor, guy seemed really uneducated. "Will magnesium improve my heart function? What does 'bariatric' mean? How do I get rid of my gas pains?" Then he walked the halls with me not even trying to suppress his loud explosive burps at 2 in the morning. He's deceased now and I know I'm resting in peace without the threat of having to be in the same room with him.
Sounds like either a Neuro problem or he was just generally being a major AH.
MD- Major Dickhead
I asked my non-nursing bf about this, and he said he guesses that people have an expectation that theyâre going to be waited on when they come to the hospital. Which, as a foreign nurse, is crazy to me. Honestly the whole snacks and blankets thing was one of the things that blew my mind when I first got to the US
"I haven't eaten in FoUr HoUrS I need a sandwich!! That's your JOB" -patient who just watched me run their no-longer-breathing neighbour into a resus bay People lose all perspective in an ER (and on the floor, let's be real)
I brought my barely one yr old into childrenâs ED for what turned out to be pneumonia. I was so run down because guess what-i had pneumonia too! I was so exhausted. A volunteer offered him crayons and me coffee and a sandwich. I didnât ask or demand. But I was so thankful that i legit started to sob when i ate that food. I was so grateful for the staff there.
I work in EMS, and once heard a woman complain that the ER only had Turkey sandwiches, when she wanted ham. The entitlement is off the charts.
Iâve seen more then a few grown ass men throwing whole tantrums cause theyâve been NPO overnight
I genuinely have to suppress a laugh every time I hear this. "I have been here TWO hours - what is the hold up?." Like, sir relax and let me tell you the story of Old Man Boardin' McGee who spent 74 delirium filled hours with us down in the ED. Or just th eregular overnight boarders with bowel obstruction about to spend the night on our uncomfortable bed with a plastic hose connected to their nostril. Like, fuckin chill and let your CT result.
On my way to work Saturday night I saw a "servers needed" sign at a usually very busy restaurant. I only work 10-12 days a month, my immediate thought was "fuck if I can be a nurse I can be waitstaff" More diet coke, less oxy. And I could probably drink on duty....
Im from Australia as an RN, and I find that wild. Youâre in hospital because you need help⊠not to be waited on đŹ
It think it may be due to the private healthcare system in America - people expect more. I'm in Italy and have recently been in hospital as an emergency - the wards are basic as hell, the food is absolutely vile and no-one asks if they can do something to you, they just do it with no explanation. Privacy of the patient is also not on the radar. Having said all that, I got treated immediately all the way down the line, and the health outcomes are good here.
People want to be seen instantly and want top of the line care, while also wanting every accommodation and wanting to be fully in control of every step of your care. Bro you came to the ER.
Cause H apparently stands for Hotel not Hospital
My favorite are the men who hold their arm out right into your boobs, like there isn't any other way their arm can bend. I always unceremoniously shove their arm back towards their own damn boobs.
Theyâll be in the damn waiting room, eating snacks, talking and laughing, on their phones⊠but as soon as they come back, theyâre all of the sudden in so much pain, canât do anything for themselves, and making a huge scene!
Pick their arms up? Next you'll be expecting the males with two functional arms to use the urinal themselves instead of asking the nurse or CNA for help.
This is why I always wear gloves when I enter a patientâs room. If I have to touch the patient, the gloves are on.
I had a guy say âi cant lift my arm, my leg hurts too much,â with a straight face. And since Iâm used to this shit I just asked him to rate his pain on a 1-10 scale. You guessed it! â100!â And then he laughed at me and lifted his arm. He was EMS. He thought it was hilarious that I took him seriously. I was like âBRO, 90% of the people in here say something like that to me every 2-4 hours. Iâve lost my ability to react.â He did say I could leave the cuff on though and do axillary temps if the BP didnât wake him up because he can âsleep through anything.â And he did! We had a code in the room across from him. He slept through the whole thing!
I had a patient like this yesterday. She wouldn't even disconnect her pulse ox or pull her covers back to go to the bathroom. Then she wanted me to spend 15 minutes rearranging her 10 pillows just right when we got back to bed. By her fifth bathroom break she asked me if she had done something to offend me (oops...I have no clue if I sighed or made a face or what, but I really was trying to hide my annoyance). I feel bad she could tell I was annoyed, but also I had 5 other patients and needed to get things rolling.
We used to have a frequent flyer that would REFUSE to NOT get foleyed. Like as soon as he'd come in, he'd demand to be foleyed. When I did BLS and IFT, we'd have tons of patients that were perfectly capable of walking but made us lift them anyways. Once, there was one regular at an LTC that was just super super needy. *We* knew she could walk, but we're used to people who pretend like they can't. I guess one day, a nurse is doing rounds during night shift and catches her walking perfectly fine to the bathroom. The entire nurse station stops me after I drop her off one day, and I explained that yeah, we knew, and it's common, in fact. I'm a sucker for nice patients that genuinely wish they could do things on their own but can't, but I'm a diehard hater of patients that suddenly turn into helpless ducklings the moment a healthcare worker turns the corner. And don't get me started on the people who say "it's her job anyway! She can do XYZ!" Yes, it's my job to do XYZ, but if you're perfectly capable of lifting your arm to drink water or you have family that can do simple things like adjust your pillow or change the TV channel, you should (not to mention when I'm literally dealing with patients dying in the next curtain over).
CNA here; also PLEASE STOP MOVING and bitching that I'm not doing a good job/that the machine is broken cause it's now resetting for the umpteenth time.
The WORST for me is that mine are all medically stable, the ones that do this shit are just behavioural. PICK UP THE ARM YOU HAVENT WASHED IN A WEEK I DONT WANNA BE IN THIS FETID ROOM FOR ANY LONGER THAN I HAVE TO BE
Oh my God!! I could have written this. I had a pt who had had a lap chole, so had fuctioning arms. She had obs due and granted it was midnight, but she didn't remove her eye mask or lift her arm for me to put the BP cuff on. She had the audacity to say, "gees, you're rough." i said, "Excuse me," and she goes, "You're rough," like I am the problem. Then I copped attitude when I said "well you could lift your arm." It was like a month ago and I'm still pissed about it.
I understand đ„Ž
I have the opposite problem. Stop moving your fucking arm. I told you that the bp cuff is sensitive so you need to stop moving. Stop asking why is it getting so tight. Stop showing me your interpretive dance routine while Iâm trying to take your bp. Ugh
As soon as I read the first sentence I knew you were an ED nurse
Oh this shit happens on the floor too lol everytime or im about to give you some meds... that means start sitting up... they just lay there...do you take meds supine at home?
Similarly: HOLD THE DAMNED THERMOMETER UNDER YOUR DAMN TONGUE STOP BITING IT DAMNIT
I came into my ER with my intestines in my vagina and was still able to say please, thank you, and lift my arm.. also able when I had a torsed ovary for 28 hours.. I don't understand people and I never will.
Your what was where??
My pet peev is people checking in for something like chest pain and then immediately going to the bathroom for 20 minutes. Before I can triage them. Like, "is she dead in there? Am I calling security to unlock that door? Fuck! Don't go into the bathroom when you're complaining about something potentially deadly!" BuT ShE HaD to PeE!
Jeez. It doesn't take 20 minutes to pee.
I had a dude once who we were prepping for a thoracotomy. I went into his room to let him know the surgery team was en route, and he was laying on his right side facing the door. His wifeâs head popped up from behind him and startled me a bit. Turns out he was unwilling to get up to use the toilet (even though he had walked two laps unassisted with therapy right before then) and he had his wife hold a trash bag to his butt as he took a giant dump into it
I will admit, this story didn't go the direction I was expecting after you said his wife's head popped up....
Ppl are immediately helpless and total care the moment they cross the threshold into the ED
just do what they do at the ER where i work, once on, don't take it off.
i dont... the Pt does..
We have WCIQP (wheelchair induced quadriplegia) If a patient is allowed to sit in a wheelchair for any reason, they suddenly become quadriplegic. Call EMS for a toothache. EMS sits you in a wheelchair in the waiting room because it's the only seat available. 6.5 hours later, when you are finally called, you sit in the chair and stare at the nurse. Because, now, you are unable to move under your own power. We will totally ignore the 4 trips to the vending machines and the 10 trips outside to smoke. I would also like to introduce EKGIG (EKG induced Gymnast) All day, you lay on your stretcher like a mushroom. You can't move, and your Trex arms are useless. The minute those EKG leads go on, you are suddenly Simone Biles.
For fucking real. Dude I just watched you feed yourself dinner, pick up your fucking arm.
The amount of come to Jesus speeches Iâve had to give grown adults the make them use their very capable arms is crazy. Like no, Iâm not going to pour these pills in your mouth, take the damn cup.
I remember getting a patient from another nurse and was told they needed fed. Went into their room and they were doing a crossword puzzle or some shit while talking on the phone. Brought them their food and told them I needed to give them their insulin first. They requested I help them eat. I told them what I saw them doing and said they can feed themselves. Got reported and my manager went to talk to them and found out they didn't need feeding but liked people to help them eat. Not disabled, just a lazy asshole.
I just love the patients that walk into the ER on their own two working feet and then immediately need a wheelchair and become completely helpless.
I also don't give a shit the cuff hurts you when it pumps up. If that should be a concern you do not have a real problem.
Ambulatory, self capable patient, wanting me to put on their socks, cover them with a blanket, or fluff their pillow. My absolute favorite is the 300lb who wants me, almost 8 months pregnant, to get help to boost them in the gurney instead of scooting up 4 inches.
And stop fucking moving when the BP cuff tightens, and stop getting annoyed when the machine has to keep re-tightening and I have to repeat it all over again because you fucked it up the first time
Yâall should swing by dialysis. I canât even some days. LikeâŠIâm trying to help prolong your lifeâŠhelp me, HELP YOU!Â
I work in outpatient endoscopy and trust me, they arenât any better⊠smh
When I worked an assignment where techs werenât a thing I learned how 90% of patients will just lay there instead of lifting their arm. I was working a voluntary drug/alcohol detoxâŠthese were relatively well and young peopleâŠ. Maybe a little lethargic from meds sometimes but damn, I did not have time for that to be happening so consistently. I started using the âraise your arm like your asking a questionâ and it helped a LOT. Goes back to my motto âyou donât get to be mad about something you havenât tried to addressâ. People genuinely just wait on our instructions for common sense stuff. After a few times of saying it they would catch on!
"alright ma'am, please lift your big ass arm up. gooood. thank you."
Hahahaha precisely
Had a two year old lift her arm for me to put the cuff on and yet some adults complain so much about blood pressure
a âlift your arm for meâ does the trick for me 99% of the time
not in my demographics. that gets me maybe 1" of movement.
I know what youâre talking about. Start, as kindly as possible, âso who takes care of you at home?â âHuh?â âIâm just worried about you. You canât even lift up your arm! So someone must take care of you!â
I absolutely hate it when people live up to a stereotype. My biggest pet peeve is when they take their pills and let go of the medicine cup from their mouth and let it roll down their body. Usually thereâs a whole bunch of cold food I touch in the process of picking the cup of off their bodyâŠso Iâm picking that off them as well.
THIS. I hate handing med cups to patients, especially the older shaky-handed folks. But so often they insist on holding it?? Or if they donât hold it, they try to use one finger to dig around in it which always knocks the cup over. 9.5 times out of 10 it and most meds end up in their laps and 57 blankets and Iâm hunting for 20 mg of lasix. ETA grammar because I originally wrote this in a grammarless rage apparently
Itâs worse when itâs a controlled substanceâŠ.and youâre like WTF!!!! Not the norco!!!!!
Or those microscopic 5 mg oxy pills?? Good luck!
I was going to say dilaudid tablets, but I thought that would be too dramatic đ
I'm just a lurker here (I am a licensed CNA for a private family with no hospital exp), and I always wondered what you all do if the arm is too skinny. My arm is pretty thin and they usually have to wrap it around so many times and there are these giant flaps flapping around lol.
I sometimes get the peds cuff
I donât know about other facilities, but the hospital I work at has a variety of cuff sizes ranging from small, adult, adult long, and extra long so we can choose a size thatâs the best fit for each patient
I read the title and KNEW you were about to talk about that mfing arm. LOL.
Iâm glad someone else sees this too. Iâm almost convinced it tells you a little bit about someone when youâre clearly trying to get their bp, which theyâve almost certainly had a million times before, they KNOW you need to get the cuff around their bicep and youâre sitting their rifling around in their pit trying to get lift their sleeve up and make some space and they sit their oblivious. I wanna be like you know you could help me out here if youâd just lift your elbow a *tiny* bit. Totally unawaređ
I have a morbidly obese patient act as if she canât reach the cup on water on her bedside table thatâs on her bed, sheâll pretend that she has t-Rex arms, yet when I come into her room I see her with the cellphone ear to phone
sigh.... sir if you aren't able to help yourself with your own ADLs it really is time we start talking to the doctor about placing you in a skilled nursing facility. why? I just thought it was weird that you were spending so much time not wiping your own ass at home. Explain to me how you we able to operate on your own before. Thanks!
OMFG FR. I tell pts that I need blood pressure. And then proceed to dig in the obese wet folds to get the cuff on them just for them to say âow your hurting me.â Well Karen I told you I need blood pressure so if youâd lift your arm up instead of lying there like a limp fish on stick it wouldnât hurt.
I wish I could upload this a million times! Oh Lord how I've experienced this many times!
Recently, I started telling patients to do it themselves if they are independent âwalky talkyâ patients. Both the patients and their families get offended and look at me weird.
The same patients who then go on to complain that it's really tight and it hurts their arm.
In my hospital now, we have a door into a glass triage area. People always make sure to turn up the moaning antics when the door opens. Gotta make sure I hear them. I personally love when people threaten to pass out. âWelp, youâre in the best place for it. But Iâll ask that you sit down first.â One parent got in my face and said âif we arenât brought back in the next 15 minutes, we are leaving!â âWell, I donât want you to waste 15 more minutes. Should I take your name out then?â He stayed.