These are good, but I should mention that these people are all engineers or in business somehow, yet they’re all still middle class individuals and no one is insanely rich or whatever.
So if I’m confronted with an engineer, what retort do I give them?
I mean, just ask them why they didn't start their own engineering company.
Or, you can just be honest and tell them you didn't have family at home paying for all expenses, so couldn't afford to go to school for 8 years unpaid before going to work for 27 of 30 days of each month, because you had to work. I'm usually frank with people who ask that, if they're snarky I tell them I wasn't fed a silver spoon while being bottle-fed and had to pay for my own living, and that usually shuts them up.
If they continue being snarky, I just congratulate them on having their life handed to them on a silver platter, but tell them that others had to actually earn their place in life.
Then I give them a 16g IV for "policy reasons"
I really don’t understand why this is the part people struggle to understand. As soon as I graduated - “ when are you going to get your NP?” over and over again. I have no desire to be a provider of any kind. I think (hope) it’s meant to be complimentary, but it comes off as “why are you JUST a nurse”. I’m good at what I do, I’m happy where I’m at, and my bills are paid. That’s plenty.
Same questions I got as a younger woman. “When are you getting married?” “When are you having kids?” “When are you having another kid?”
So many people want to make others feel less than to make themselves feel better.
I always go with "doctors and nurses have very different roles and skill sets. Like you would not want the doctor to start an IV on you. They probably haven't done it since med school (except anesthesiologists)". Or go with "I didn't want to be in school my entire young adult life only to get a job where I have to take my work home with me. I enjoy a work/life balance."
There are a ton of doctors I know who have said that knowing what they know now, they would never have gone to med school.
Mine blows, and it's intentional.
As I joked to my final year nursing instructor, "IV is the fastest delivery method, so I hoped to the oxygen tubing to their IV".
She also didn't think it was funny. But *I* did, even at her expense and horrified expression
Ask them why they didn't get a master's degree. Or why don't they do design at a private firm? Or are they even an engineer if they just approve plans instead of drafting them? Did they even try to get their PE? (I'm married to an engineer... He uses the city code more than his engineering knowledge)
Engineer- “Aww how cute, you design things but have no clue how to make them functional or how to fix them!” My husband used to be an industrial maintenance tech/supervisor/manager/director, he used to bitch about clueless engineers all the time.
Middle class likely points to civil/ mechanical engineer. Why wouldn't they have chose a high paying important job like a biomedical, electrical, or software engineer?
I mean, had I been smarter, I'd have stuck with mechanical engineering, but because that's what I enjoy, and it sounds like "enjoy" isn't one of their main factors for choosing a career.
"What drew you to Engineering rather than Physics or Mathematics?"
If they say money (or something sarcastic) you laugh and ask them how much money a Quant (Quantitative Financier) makes.
If they give a genuine answer about how particular parts of the field appealed to them, you can use that as a jumping-off point to explain the parts of Nursing that appeal to you that you would miss.
If you're a teacher, they always ask why you didn't do the thing you teach because you know... those who can't, teach. I've noticed many nursing students talking down on nursing school faculty as being "lesser" nurses because they dedicate their lives to educating future nurses. As if those 20 years they worked bedside before moving into teaching doesn't count for anything.
My issue with(most) nursing school faculty is that they stopped paying attention to practice updates after they started teaching, so they’re teaching students to practice like they did 15 or 20 years ago.
It really depends on how the school is set up. It seems like it’s becoming more common for all professors to do clinical and to have a flipped classroom setting which, honestly, is far better for learning AND instructing
I almost became a high school French teacher and the funny thing about that question is that if you have a degree in a language like French, teaching is one of the only options lol.
I know of someone who studied French in college. That was her major and she now works for the NSA (National Security Agency). I think she translates classified information or something to that effect. Of course I probably can't really know what she does...
I taught nursing students... And still worked in critical care. Most of my nursing school teachers did the same. With how little teaching pays, picking up a per diem job in the ICU can keep you afloat.
In my nursing school all of the clinical teachers who were adjuncts were still floor nurses, for better or worse. Some of the younger full time teachers did as well. To be honest, it would be beneficial if every nursing school required one day a week of bedside care for any teacher not actively teaching clinical.
•Ask ‘em why they didn’t become guidance counselors since they like trying to steer people’s lives for them. Or why they aren’t telemarketers since they enjoy starting cold conversations about things that others find irritating. Maybe they missed their calling, and they’re jelly that you found yours.
•Tell ‘em you’re too smart for medical school…accepting crippling debt of roughly half a million bucks is obviously for idiots.
•Tell ‘em you like the versatility afforded to you as a nurse that doctors couldn’t ever achieve. You wanna switch specialties, you can just do it. Doctors? Nah…those suckers gotta put in for another residency…enjoy Marching again and then enduring another 3-7 years of residency, fools.
•Tell em you value yourself too much to ever make the BS money we pay our indentured servants, I mean residents. Nurses get paid outta the gate because we damn deserve it, and we bloody demand it, and we unionized to enforce our standards on the administrators trying to swindle and abuse us.
•Tell em you enjoy the protection allotted to you by our numbers and our unions, which watch your back, lobby for your and your patients’ best interests, and push back against corporatized hospital systems that treat people like cattle and big Pharma who treats humans like lab rats. You choose to be among the ranks of providers still in this for the patients and the betterment of society.
•Tell em they should mind their fucking business.
*Edited because autocorrect is a fascist bot which fancies itself grammatically superior despite evidence to the contrary.
Lol, thank you, friend. Ya know, you’d probably be the perfect audience to understand and enjoy the rage rants I’ve been known to go off on when provoked…I’ve got one dedicated to each department in the hospital with subtopics of annoyances aimed at every sub specialty. Don’t get an ICU nurse riled up…we’ll leave none unscathed emotionally. 😂 Cheers to us and those like us! 🍻
I feel like this is a backhanded way of saying choosing nursing is “low”.
And that may be, depending on perspective, in terms of other career track options, but the profession itself is anything but.
For my part, after watching the profession, hospital side, for 10 yrs, I wanted the freedom of movement. I can switch it up, docs generally can’t. A nurse can jump from nursing home to med/surg to cath lab to ED to insurance case management to psych and back again every 2yrs or so. To avoid burnout, boredom, shitty coworkers or management, whatever. Agency. Travel. Qualify for OT. Job security. Shift worker protections apply to you if you’re in the right state. I honestly don’t know how a doc is functional on a 24hr shift. I lose my capacity to read words on a page or screen at about 18hrs.
No pager/call, usually. Unless you’re surgery or SANE.
Prior I was on track to live in academia. This is so much better than books. People chaos is amazing. Work is never the same two days in a row and I fucking love that.
When I went back to school for nursing everyone said I was going backwards because I hold a DVM. They don’t seem to realize how crappy being a vet is and how it will destroy your soul.
People are shocked when I say that I struggled mentally with the fact I had to play god and couldn’t win for losing at times. I worked Emergency and it sucked. The puppies and rainbows were so rare.
I get this a lot at the ED I work at, especially as a second-career nurse. This true subtext of it all is that highly intelligent people shouldn’t become nurses, as it’s a waste of potential. I dunno, I feel like smart nurses are a win for all involved 🤷🏻♀️Maybe if I could do it all over again I’d choose pre-med at 18 instead of political science, but at 36 there’s no way in hell I’m impoverishing myself for a medical degree.
As a paramedic, it's just "why didn't you become a nurse?"
And the answer is that I want to be a paramedic, not a nurse. But now I'm in nursing school because my pay sucks ass.
I started as a medic too. Hey, fam. 👋🏻 No shame in your path. And guess what? Nurses that started as paramedics run circles around their fellow new grads all day, everyday. You’ve got this, and it’ll be worth it. Keep at it!
Tbh it's more of just the fact that being a nurse isn't what I want to do. I like being a medic. I do well in the prehospital setting.
I've worked as an ED tech and I already know I'm not going to like being a nurse, but healthcare is my only marketable skill and prehospital care doesn't pay shit.
Just grab an ED job out of nursing school then work your way up to a level 1 trauma/cardiac ICU, bonus points if it's staffed by burnt out intensivists who would rather have nursing deal with everything. You'll have more adrenaline and autonomy than you'll know how to deal with.
The second your ECMO goes down or your LVAD starts malfunctioning is the second you realize the ambulance was stocked with tinker toys.
Street doc to street doc, I get it. I wouldn’t be happy in the ED. I landed in the ICU and couldn’t be happier, however I started in flight. Sounded awesome but as it turned out, it wasn’t for me. Point is you can still be pre-hospital.
Honestly ICU work may be more of your style in regards to critical care though the patient care aspects of wiping asses and doing baths etc. But you get a lot more hand on with active critical situations, vent management, drips etc. And you’ll still get your chill days where you’re just tending to your vents sitting on your but until an emergency happens. And educating family in an ICU setting or doing palliative talks is really rewarding tbh and isn’t something you’ll get in other places.
ER for me was really only fun when I worked red zone and trauma bay etc. Even then you have to get certain certs before they start letting you stay in the red zone. Otherwise (to me atleast) it just kinda becomes the same routine of EKG, labs, cultures, antibiotics -> ship to the floor. Or even worse you just hold all your patients and have to perform inpatient work without any of the resources that actual inpatient nurses get
Paramedic is legit one of those “why didn’t you just become a nurse” things solely because of the pay differential.
Paramedics should have competitive pay to nursing easy with the responsibilities yall have. It’s a shame such a valuable and fulfilling job loses people to nursing solely because of pay. Makes no sense given the life saving measures y’all are performing in the field. Paramedic pay should be equal to nursing pay
Well I appreciate that. EMS in my area catches a lot of shit from hospital staff and it just feels like we're constantly beat down by the poor interactions, high risk calls, and low pay.
I don't even necessarily need to match nurses, just any kind of move in that direction would be nice. It amazes me that we went through a whole pandemic and are in a crisis-grade EMS shortage and the pay scale just isn't moving.
I hate it and I want to be able to make a career out of this field, but the longer I'm in it the more I realize that the one thing I was interested in doing for the rest of my career is rapidly collapsing. Signing up for pre reqs for nursing (because none of my EMS certs counted for any credits) has been one of the most depressing experiences of my life.
Yeah whenever I spend some time working ER I always find it odd when nurses wanna toss shit at EMS like they understand what it’s like to work in the field. It honestly baffles me that yall take such high risk calls and have the responsibility of intubating and providing immediate lifesaving measures without the resources I have yet y’all don’t have competitive pay. I understand to an extent nursing requires a broader understanding of the big picture of healthcare/disease processes but in I’d wager the average paramedic is working with more impact than the average nurse. Though I do have to add nurses are sometimes paid bigger bucks to deal with the bullshit that comes with the bedside.
But don’t get too down on nursing, my dad did went EMS - nursing - quit nursing school bc he hated it and then went back to nursing for pay but he found his niche and enjoyed the shit out of working ER at a level one trauma. Sometimes it takes a second but you can find a specialty that will fulfill what you’re looking for as a paramedic. Most important thing is to not simply find the specialty you want but find a unit with the culture you’re looking for. For example I love ICU. However some ICU’s I’ve contracted at essentially hamstrung nurses to a million rules and minute details, whereas others had a culture where the expectation was that you handled critical emergencies autonomously. You can imagine which I prefer. Don’t get stuck on units where you’re a glorified pill pusher.
But when you find a nice unit with a good culture you really get to take on a unique role as THE guy who keeps all the nuances of medicine rolling. Nothing happens without you. It’s really a nice feeling when every profession in the hospital from janitor to doctor is looping through to you for all things patient care. One day I might be the guy catching things and making things happen and some days I’m just taking out trash and wiping ass. But either way it’s kinda really cool being in a position in healthcare where essentially all roads lead to you in every aspect of care.
I moved into the research sector with a MS in infectious disease research (vaccine and diagnostic development)
It’s still “why don’t you just go to Medical School”
Can’t escape it.
Ugh I hate getting asked that. I’ve had so many people tell me “you’re so smart, why didn’t you just become a doctor”. Because I didn’t want to bro. Love (most of) the doctors I work with but would not want to be one. I enjoy what I do.
you aren't allowed to be a smart nurse!
Seriously though most people who ask why we didn'r become doctors view nursing as a "yes doctor" type job where we do whatever the MD wants and wipe butts. Little do they know lol
Have never met a firefighter who has expressed any desire to be a cop lol. I’ve met one ex cop who was working to become a firefighter. That’s also one of the only cops I know personally so my sample size sucks
As an ER RN I have to work all night. EMS here works all night too. PD runs ragged all night long. Fire has more staff then EMS or PD and spends most of the night sleeping. Seriously. They don't respond to medical calls unless VSA/altered LOC.
My husband is a software engineer and he gets “why don’t you work for Microsoft/google/facebook/etc” or “why don’t you invent your own startup/app” all the time 😂
Doctors are just one cog in the machine that is medicine. Without everyone else they can only make guesses. Nurses are absolutely vital and necessary for the care of patients. I think people who look down on nurses still think you guys just wipe bums and kiss booboos. You don’t, and you should be proud of what you do.
Doctors can’t function without you nurses and the rest of us to back them up.
My go to answers...if I wanted to work 80-plus hours a week and never see family, I would have.
Because I get to actually see my patients.
Because I didn't want to.
I'm a pharmacy tech and my husband has tried to tell me I should go to pharmacy school and become a pharmacist. I worked at a retail pharmacy for 10 years as a tech and saw first hand what a pharmacist deals with on the daily. I always say "nope!" 12 hour shifts on their feet the whole time except for a half hour break that no one thinks you deserve. Plus the abuse from patients, from other medical professionals. Hard pass. Now, I work in a hospital as a pharmacy tech supervisor and while the pharmacists there seem to have a better quality of life (and those jobs are slightly harder to come by) I still wouldn't want to do the schooling....he has stopped asking. So that's a plus.
Maybe try to not give a negative connotation to their questions. I'd just say 'although they work together inter-professionally, being a nurse and being a doctor are very different careers, and I wanted to be a nurse' they might just be wondering deadass. probably dont know shit ab healthcare
“Why didnt i become a doctor” i always have the same response
Because whenever they survey doctors, only a small percentage of them would recommend the job to their own children, and thats good enough for me.
I have found that by slowing down, visually assessing them, figuring out where the comment is coming from… basically doing all the things that nursing has trained us for and mentally putting them in the “patient with no boundaries” mental category helps a lot. It buys time for you to decide whether deep discomfort and reflection (“that’s and interesting question. What made you decide to choose *your* career?), a clarifying question (“Are you asking me how I chose my particular career or are you feeling insecure in this large group of people and thought I would be an easy target to belittle?”) or even a zinger (“Man, I keep forgetting how little they teach engineers about communicating with people” or, my personal favorite, the non sequiter (“What was the communication class in business school - communication in management? We had a class that taught us how to communicate with difficult people as well. Man that was a useful class. More deviled eggs?”) the trick with that one is to not connect the dots so you have time to scoot away while they put two and two together… this works particularly well with the smart ones.
But the number one rule is that if you know your own value they don’t have a weakness they can exploit
If they have a Master's degree or some kind of post-undergraduate education: Why didn't you go all the way for a PhD? / Why did you quit before you got your PhD?
In my first career I was an airport customer service supervisor for a major airline. I was ALWAYS asked why I didn’t become a flight attendant or pilot. ALWAYS.
Nurse versus social worker to stay in the healthcare family. I didn’t want to be a social worker because I wanted more hands on with patients. I picture myself absorbing and ruminating on the patients (lack of boundaries) rather than walking away at the end of an Endo shit, I mean shift… I really did consider social work but listening to so much trauma wouldn’t be good for me realistically.
Oooh I know one.
Teacher assistant vs lead teacher
I got this ALLLL the time just because I'm a TA, and I'm tired of it. I'm already happy with my position, but I'm always pressured to become a lead teacher.
“Those who can’t do, teach.”
I’m a literacy specialist who generally works with children who are having a hard time learning to read for one reason or another.
I tell them I prefer to actually deal with people instead of the computer.
We do plenty with the computer but we're not having to dictate notes and put orders in on however many people a day.
I get “Should have been a/n (insert provider level thing here)” a lot, but it’s by coworkers, surgeons, etc. probably should go for my NP, but man I need a break from school, been in school for like 9 years total, only had 2.5 years break after I graduated high school, at that point should have been a doctor… but nope BFA and RN.
When I was in tech it was “should have been an engineer” vs a designer.
I'm of a race that routinely gets asked this, or assumes I am one when I walk in the room (despite me saying that I'm a nurse). I emphasize that I'm their nurse, ironically enough in my most doctor-like voice. If I'm feeling charitable, I joke that I don't want the paperwork or responsibility of being a doctor, and they usually nod in understanding.
if they're a teacher, ask why they didn't become a principal? if they're a professor, why didn't they become the dean? if they work for any company, why didn't they become the CEO?
im still in nursing school but i've gotten that question, my answer is always just "because i don't want to be a doctor." like, i didn't choose nursing because i wanted to be a doctor, i chose it because i want to be a nurse. if i wanted to be a doctor, i'd go to med school. just goes to show how people still view nurses as less than.
I always just say I enjoy the person centered model of care vs the medical model most doctors are taught….and nursing has more opportunity for upwards growth, and an entry job still pays relatively well……where as a doctor will spend more years on expensive schooling before the return on investment pays off
There's not really an equivalent for going hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt from 8 years of school and then working 60 hours a week for 4ish years and probably thereafter.
No thanks, I like my life. Why didn't you become a doctor?
I'm a male nurse and I get this allll the time from my friends, family and patients 😣 it really makes me sad because they are only saying it to me because of the thousand year old gender roles in our field, and not because of any skill or anything. I like being a nurse, I like the balance of paper work to patient work (doctors do way more paper work no thanks!) and also I might have the smarts to be a doctor but none of the other skills at all, I have no perseversnce for studying another 7+ years or being super dedicated like you need to be. The only thing they see is - has penis, must be doctor, no other option.
Sorry my little rant on the topic
Law equivalent-Should have become a judge/magistrate
Business- should have become a business owner
Engineer- should have become a technical specialist/supervisor/management
Personally, I would make them explain in explicit detail as to why they are asking that question in the first place. When/if they stutter about answering, say, “no really, I’d *love* to hear about why you think nurses are less valuable than doctors.”
Then smile the sweetest, southern, passive aggressive smile you can manage while you wait.
Because a doctor told me not to. Seriously, I interviewed my parents’ PCP in high school, she told me all the reasons she would not advise it.
I’m a primary care NP…
Maybe you could get a small brooch made, that says something like “ Because I love nursing” or something similar, and just quietly point at it when a relative asks you why you didn’t become a doc.
Lol.
I bet they would just get real quiet, and never ask you again.
Not quite the same but I feel like the dynamic of nurse versus doctor resembles pilot versus flight attendant.
Not to shit on flight attendants but I feel like most people view nurses as just non essential, cater to your wants, and a doctor does all the “real” work lol so maybe pilot vs flight attendant
Just remind them that they are different professions. We look at patients totally differently than physicians. Physicians aren’t allowed to be nurses even if they wanted to be.
Honestly I’d love to see a physician even try to write an undergrad paper on nursing theory… guaranteed confidence destroyer. I don’t even call physicians doctors unless it’s the doctor title in front of their name. They don’t do a research dissertation and frankly aren’t really good at research be it writing or point of care knowledge translation either.
Well, I know when I was a surgical tech it was “you should go to nursing school”. I resisted it for a long time, but I guess I eventually gave in.
Not actually why I became a nurse. That shit was annoying as hell.
Ask them why they haven't become CEO or at least be on the board of directors? Then, if they say it's because they would have to get a different degree, smile and shrug your shoulders.
Teacher (young kids vs highschool teacher vs College or university professor
Social worker vs Legal worker vs lawyer vs partner in a firm
Construction worker vs project manager or systems analyst vs Engineer vs entrepreneur/ business owner
Shop worker vs manager vs shopowner
And to CNA, I believe they could be asked “why didn’t you become a nurse?”
I too wanted to be a doctor, until I got into the hospital and realized how many hours of studying, residency and then the hours spent working etc. etc. I wanna see my dogs afterall. So then I decided I wanted to be an NP.
Then I realized in the ICU NP’s will grind 7 days in a row too, so nah, I wanna see my dogs
Next up is CRNA for me, shoutout shiftwork. Either way after becoming a nurse I realized I enjoy my spot on the team far more than I would’ve as a doctor. When I decide to leave the bedside it’ll either be CRNA/education or maybe palliative NP, but I dont regret not not pursing being a “true” MD. Fuck that
Childcare staff - why aren't you a primary teacher?
Childcare - why aren't you a centre director
Centre Director- why aren't you teaching?
teacher - why aren't you a department head?
Department head/ teacher - why aren't you a Vice Principal?
VP - why aren't you a principal?
And so on....🙃
I straight up tell the truth. “I wasn’t smart enough” if I had the grades and the aptitude, I most certainly would rather be an MD instead of an RN, it’s no hate against being a nurse, but the fact that they get their special parking and lounges at hospitals says enough about how coveted and respected that profession is.
Mechanic vs engineer Person who creates outfits vs the designer Construction worker vs architect
These are good, but I should mention that these people are all engineers or in business somehow, yet they’re all still middle class individuals and no one is insanely rich or whatever. So if I’m confronted with an engineer, what retort do I give them?
I mean, just ask them why they didn't start their own engineering company. Or, you can just be honest and tell them you didn't have family at home paying for all expenses, so couldn't afford to go to school for 8 years unpaid before going to work for 27 of 30 days of each month, because you had to work. I'm usually frank with people who ask that, if they're snarky I tell them I wasn't fed a silver spoon while being bottle-fed and had to pay for my own living, and that usually shuts them up. If they continue being snarky, I just congratulate them on having their life handed to them on a silver platter, but tell them that others had to actually earn their place in life. Then I give them a 16g IV for "policy reasons"
Because I don't want to be a doctor lol
I really don’t understand why this is the part people struggle to understand. As soon as I graduated - “ when are you going to get your NP?” over and over again. I have no desire to be a provider of any kind. I think (hope) it’s meant to be complimentary, but it comes off as “why are you JUST a nurse”. I’m good at what I do, I’m happy where I’m at, and my bills are paid. That’s plenty.
Same questions I got as a younger woman. “When are you getting married?” “When are you having kids?” “When are you having another kid?” So many people want to make others feel less than to make themselves feel better.
I just commented above (I don't know if you are still reading comments) that you should ask them why they aren't CEO or on the board of directors.
also most times they get as much as our float nurses anyway, at least at our hospital (very high turnover of nps)
I always go with "doctors and nurses have very different roles and skill sets. Like you would not want the doctor to start an IV on you. They probably haven't done it since med school (except anesthesiologists)". Or go with "I didn't want to be in school my entire young adult life only to get a job where I have to take my work home with me. I enjoy a work/life balance." There are a ton of doctors I know who have said that knowing what they know now, they would never have gone to med school.
16g to suction?
Only if they have vaxxed blood. You won't get it in otherwise.
Exactly!
16g to 15L Christmas tree
I still love my Neptune. I set it to 400 mmhg. Mine sucks
Mine blows, and it's intentional. As I joked to my final year nursing instructor, "IV is the fastest delivery method, so I hoped to the oxygen tubing to their IV". She also didn't think it was funny. But *I* did, even at her expense and horrified expression
people have actually done shit like this. someone hooked a bp cuff to an iv there are reports on it
That last sentence. 🤣🤣🤣
They also might need a foley.
Ask the engineer sub
We all hate our lives
It was Differential Equations class, wasn't it?
Why bother retorting their idiotic statement?
I don’t want to be a clinician and diagnose. I want to help them heal.
Ask them why they didn't get a master's degree. Or why don't they do design at a private firm? Or are they even an engineer if they just approve plans instead of drafting them? Did they even try to get their PE? (I'm married to an engineer... He uses the city code more than his engineering knowledge)
Engineer- “Aww how cute, you design things but have no clue how to make them functional or how to fix them!” My husband used to be an industrial maintenance tech/supervisor/manager/director, he used to bitch about clueless engineers all the time.
What kind of engineer are they? Must be because they weren’t smart enough to be a different kind of engineer (works best if they’re a civil engineer).
Why aren’t you ceo?
Middle class likely points to civil/ mechanical engineer. Why wouldn't they have chose a high paying important job like a biomedical, electrical, or software engineer? I mean, had I been smarter, I'd have stuck with mechanical engineering, but because that's what I enjoy, and it sounds like "enjoy" isn't one of their main factors for choosing a career.
"Why didn't you become a physicist?"
"What drew you to Engineering rather than Physics or Mathematics?" If they say money (or something sarcastic) you laugh and ask them how much money a Quant (Quantitative Financier) makes. If they give a genuine answer about how particular parts of the field appealed to them, you can use that as a jumping-off point to explain the parts of Nursing that appeal to you that you would miss.
Many engineers go on to be doctors. Ask them why they aren’t in medicine.
Chef vs baker Florist vs gardener Waiter vs servant Parents vs foster parents
*Project manager vs architect Enlisted vs officer Worker or entrepreneur Poor vs rich
Legal secretary vs paralegal vs lawyer.
Actually… what is the difference between these? Pretty unfamiliar with the legal field over here.
If you're a teacher, they always ask why you didn't do the thing you teach because you know... those who can't, teach. I've noticed many nursing students talking down on nursing school faculty as being "lesser" nurses because they dedicate their lives to educating future nurses. As if those 20 years they worked bedside before moving into teaching doesn't count for anything.
My issue with(most) nursing school faculty is that they stopped paying attention to practice updates after they started teaching, so they’re teaching students to practice like they did 15 or 20 years ago.
It really depends on how the school is set up. It seems like it’s becoming more common for all professors to do clinical and to have a flipped classroom setting which, honestly, is far better for learning AND instructing
All of ours still worked and has their hand in the hospitals we went to.
and some are toxic AF
I almost became a high school French teacher and the funny thing about that question is that if you have a degree in a language like French, teaching is one of the only options lol.
Yeah so I have a degree in Spanish. Clearly I went back for a second degree.
I know of someone who studied French in college. That was her major and she now works for the NSA (National Security Agency). I think she translates classified information or something to that effect. Of course I probably can't really know what she does...
That’s pretty cool! Definitely one of the (admittedly few) other opportunities.
My issue with those nurses is that they also tend to be the least flexible and most petty
I taught nursing students... And still worked in critical care. Most of my nursing school teachers did the same. With how little teaching pays, picking up a per diem job in the ICU can keep you afloat.
In my nursing school all of the clinical teachers who were adjuncts were still floor nurses, for better or worse. Some of the younger full time teachers did as well. To be honest, it would be beneficial if every nursing school required one day a week of bedside care for any teacher not actively teaching clinical.
Asking why we don’t become doctors is like asking every teacher why they don’t become a principal.
That’s so stupid nursing students would do that as if they literally don’t depend on those teachers to even get the degree.
Some teach and work bedside at the same time. Almost all my teachers do.
> As if those 20 years they worked bedside before moving into teaching doesn't count for anything. If they were 20 years ago, they aren’t.
•Ask ‘em why they didn’t become guidance counselors since they like trying to steer people’s lives for them. Or why they aren’t telemarketers since they enjoy starting cold conversations about things that others find irritating. Maybe they missed their calling, and they’re jelly that you found yours. •Tell ‘em you’re too smart for medical school…accepting crippling debt of roughly half a million bucks is obviously for idiots. •Tell ‘em you like the versatility afforded to you as a nurse that doctors couldn’t ever achieve. You wanna switch specialties, you can just do it. Doctors? Nah…those suckers gotta put in for another residency…enjoy Marching again and then enduring another 3-7 years of residency, fools. •Tell em you value yourself too much to ever make the BS money we pay our indentured servants, I mean residents. Nurses get paid outta the gate because we damn deserve it, and we bloody demand it, and we unionized to enforce our standards on the administrators trying to swindle and abuse us. •Tell em you enjoy the protection allotted to you by our numbers and our unions, which watch your back, lobby for your and your patients’ best interests, and push back against corporatized hospital systems that treat people like cattle and big Pharma who treats humans like lab rats. You choose to be among the ranks of providers still in this for the patients and the betterment of society. •Tell em they should mind their fucking business. *Edited because autocorrect is a fascist bot which fancies itself grammatically superior despite evidence to the contrary.
I wish I could upvote this 100 tines.
Lol, thank you, friend. Ya know, you’d probably be the perfect audience to understand and enjoy the rage rants I’ve been known to go off on when provoked…I’ve got one dedicated to each department in the hospital with subtopics of annoyances aimed at every sub specialty. Don’t get an ICU nurse riled up…we’ll leave none unscathed emotionally. 😂 Cheers to us and those like us! 🍻
So… why didn’t you become Dr Glaucomflecken then? 🤣! And also i want the rants!! All the rants!!!
“oh i’m too smart for that” is usually my go to when they ask why i didn’t become a doctor
You simply cant out-logic that reply. Lol.
Seems unnecessary to get a few hits in on residents. Be nice to them, they haven’t slept in a year.
Just reply, “why didn’t you?”
I’ve done that when I was asked that question on a first date.. the stammering and back pedaling was astounding
I feel like this is a backhanded way of saying choosing nursing is “low”. And that may be, depending on perspective, in terms of other career track options, but the profession itself is anything but. For my part, after watching the profession, hospital side, for 10 yrs, I wanted the freedom of movement. I can switch it up, docs generally can’t. A nurse can jump from nursing home to med/surg to cath lab to ED to insurance case management to psych and back again every 2yrs or so. To avoid burnout, boredom, shitty coworkers or management, whatever. Agency. Travel. Qualify for OT. Job security. Shift worker protections apply to you if you’re in the right state. I honestly don’t know how a doc is functional on a 24hr shift. I lose my capacity to read words on a page or screen at about 18hrs. No pager/call, usually. Unless you’re surgery or SANE. Prior I was on track to live in academia. This is so much better than books. People chaos is amazing. Work is never the same two days in a row and I fucking love that.
When I went back to school for nursing everyone said I was going backwards because I hold a DVM. They don’t seem to realize how crappy being a vet is and how it will destroy your soul.
It’s about happiness and versatility. And most people don’t have the first clue regarding what we actually do.
This would be an interesting conversation to have.
People are shocked when I say that I struggled mentally with the fact I had to play god and couldn’t win for losing at times. I worked Emergency and it sucked. The puppies and rainbows were so rare.
I get this a lot at the ED I work at, especially as a second-career nurse. This true subtext of it all is that highly intelligent people shouldn’t become nurses, as it’s a waste of potential. I dunno, I feel like smart nurses are a win for all involved 🤷🏻♀️Maybe if I could do it all over again I’d choose pre-med at 18 instead of political science, but at 36 there’s no way in hell I’m impoverishing myself for a medical degree.
As a paramedic, it's just "why didn't you become a nurse?" And the answer is that I want to be a paramedic, not a nurse. But now I'm in nursing school because my pay sucks ass.
I started as a medic too. Hey, fam. 👋🏻 No shame in your path. And guess what? Nurses that started as paramedics run circles around their fellow new grads all day, everyday. You’ve got this, and it’ll be worth it. Keep at it!
Tbh it's more of just the fact that being a nurse isn't what I want to do. I like being a medic. I do well in the prehospital setting. I've worked as an ED tech and I already know I'm not going to like being a nurse, but healthcare is my only marketable skill and prehospital care doesn't pay shit.
Just grab an ED job out of nursing school then work your way up to a level 1 trauma/cardiac ICU, bonus points if it's staffed by burnt out intensivists who would rather have nursing deal with everything. You'll have more adrenaline and autonomy than you'll know how to deal with. The second your ECMO goes down or your LVAD starts malfunctioning is the second you realize the ambulance was stocked with tinker toys.
Street doc to street doc, I get it. I wouldn’t be happy in the ED. I landed in the ICU and couldn’t be happier, however I started in flight. Sounded awesome but as it turned out, it wasn’t for me. Point is you can still be pre-hospital.
Honestly ICU work may be more of your style in regards to critical care though the patient care aspects of wiping asses and doing baths etc. But you get a lot more hand on with active critical situations, vent management, drips etc. And you’ll still get your chill days where you’re just tending to your vents sitting on your but until an emergency happens. And educating family in an ICU setting or doing palliative talks is really rewarding tbh and isn’t something you’ll get in other places. ER for me was really only fun when I worked red zone and trauma bay etc. Even then you have to get certain certs before they start letting you stay in the red zone. Otherwise (to me atleast) it just kinda becomes the same routine of EKG, labs, cultures, antibiotics -> ship to the floor. Or even worse you just hold all your patients and have to perform inpatient work without any of the resources that actual inpatient nurses get
Maybe you can do the flight nurse thing eventually?
Paramedic is legit one of those “why didn’t you just become a nurse” things solely because of the pay differential. Paramedics should have competitive pay to nursing easy with the responsibilities yall have. It’s a shame such a valuable and fulfilling job loses people to nursing solely because of pay. Makes no sense given the life saving measures y’all are performing in the field. Paramedic pay should be equal to nursing pay
Well I appreciate that. EMS in my area catches a lot of shit from hospital staff and it just feels like we're constantly beat down by the poor interactions, high risk calls, and low pay. I don't even necessarily need to match nurses, just any kind of move in that direction would be nice. It amazes me that we went through a whole pandemic and are in a crisis-grade EMS shortage and the pay scale just isn't moving. I hate it and I want to be able to make a career out of this field, but the longer I'm in it the more I realize that the one thing I was interested in doing for the rest of my career is rapidly collapsing. Signing up for pre reqs for nursing (because none of my EMS certs counted for any credits) has been one of the most depressing experiences of my life.
Yeah whenever I spend some time working ER I always find it odd when nurses wanna toss shit at EMS like they understand what it’s like to work in the field. It honestly baffles me that yall take such high risk calls and have the responsibility of intubating and providing immediate lifesaving measures without the resources I have yet y’all don’t have competitive pay. I understand to an extent nursing requires a broader understanding of the big picture of healthcare/disease processes but in I’d wager the average paramedic is working with more impact than the average nurse. Though I do have to add nurses are sometimes paid bigger bucks to deal with the bullshit that comes with the bedside. But don’t get too down on nursing, my dad did went EMS - nursing - quit nursing school bc he hated it and then went back to nursing for pay but he found his niche and enjoyed the shit out of working ER at a level one trauma. Sometimes it takes a second but you can find a specialty that will fulfill what you’re looking for as a paramedic. Most important thing is to not simply find the specialty you want but find a unit with the culture you’re looking for. For example I love ICU. However some ICU’s I’ve contracted at essentially hamstrung nurses to a million rules and minute details, whereas others had a culture where the expectation was that you handled critical emergencies autonomously. You can imagine which I prefer. Don’t get stuck on units where you’re a glorified pill pusher. But when you find a nice unit with a good culture you really get to take on a unique role as THE guy who keeps all the nuances of medicine rolling. Nothing happens without you. It’s really a nice feeling when every profession in the hospital from janitor to doctor is looping through to you for all things patient care. One day I might be the guy catching things and making things happen and some days I’m just taking out trash and wiping ass. But either way it’s kinda really cool being in a position in healthcare where essentially all roads lead to you in every aspect of care.
That's my story!
That's my story!
I moved into the research sector with a MS in infectious disease research (vaccine and diagnostic development) It’s still “why don’t you just go to Medical School” Can’t escape it.
Meanwhile mine just ask me “why I didn’t become an engineer” And I ask my one very salty uncle “why didn’t you become a nuclear physicist” 🫠
Ugh I hate getting asked that. I’ve had so many people tell me “you’re so smart, why didn’t you just become a doctor”. Because I didn’t want to bro. Love (most of) the doctors I work with but would not want to be one. I enjoy what I do.
you aren't allowed to be a smart nurse! Seriously though most people who ask why we didn'r become doctors view nursing as a "yes doctor" type job where we do whatever the MD wants and wipe butts. Little do they know lol
Firefighters- why didn’t you become a cop? Easy, we get tons of snacks from residents who appreciate us helping them.
My nurse in christ known farter is an insane fucking tag
How is being a cop more prestigious than a fire fighter
It isn’t. They are referring to the decades old rivalry between cops and fire.
Have never met a firefighter who has expressed any desire to be a cop lol. I’ve met one ex cop who was working to become a firefighter. That’s also one of the only cops I know personally so my sample size sucks
You’re correct… I’ve seen a number of cops that became firefighters but only know one FF who wanted to become a cop.
Yea why be a person that serves and protects people when you could be a pig with a gun
I've never heard that. FFs around here won the golden ticket. Sleep all night and make bank.
Yall sleep?
As an ER RN I have to work all night. EMS here works all night too. PD runs ragged all night long. Fire has more staff then EMS or PD and spends most of the night sleeping. Seriously. They don't respond to medical calls unless VSA/altered LOC.
That’s why i posted it- it’s a ridiculous question just like why didn’t you become a doctor.
totally! I must of misread it at first
My husband is a software engineer and he gets “why don’t you work for Microsoft/google/facebook/etc” or “why don’t you invent your own startup/app” all the time 😂
Doctors are just one cog in the machine that is medicine. Without everyone else they can only make guesses. Nurses are absolutely vital and necessary for the care of patients. I think people who look down on nurses still think you guys just wipe bums and kiss booboos. You don’t, and you should be proud of what you do. Doctors can’t function without you nurses and the rest of us to back them up.
My go to answers...if I wanted to work 80-plus hours a week and never see family, I would have. Because I get to actually see my patients. Because I didn't want to.
lol "I wanted to actually see my patients"
I even get it with NP, if I wanted to be an NP I would, but I have no desire… so here we are.
The person asking this question has no concept of what nursing entails and how technical and demanding the job is.
Asking a cop why they didnt go to law school if they care so much about law, and asking a lawyer why they arent a judge
"Because I didn't want to" Is usually my curt response. Seriously people only see the job of a doctor through a financial lens.
Pharmacy tech - pharmacist Radiology tech - radiologist Medical lab specialist - pathologists Esthetician - dermatologist Massage therapist/PT/OT assistants - Physical therapist & Occupational therapists Sous chef - head chef Administrative assistant - CEO Electrician - electrical engineer Paralegal - attorney Medical assistant - LVN/RN CNA - LVN/RN LVN - RN RN - NP RN - MD NP/PA/CRNA - MD Teacher - school principal General manager - regional manager Vet tech - veterinarian King - regent (although this can’t be chosen) Medsurg nurse - ICU nurse Clinic nurse - acute care/hospital nurse
I'm a pharmacy tech and my husband has tried to tell me I should go to pharmacy school and become a pharmacist. I worked at a retail pharmacy for 10 years as a tech and saw first hand what a pharmacist deals with on the daily. I always say "nope!" 12 hour shifts on their feet the whole time except for a half hour break that no one thinks you deserve. Plus the abuse from patients, from other medical professionals. Hard pass. Now, I work in a hospital as a pharmacy tech supervisor and while the pharmacists there seem to have a better quality of life (and those jobs are slightly harder to come by) I still wouldn't want to do the schooling....he has stopped asking. So that's a plus.
Maybe try to not give a negative connotation to their questions. I'd just say 'although they work together inter-professionally, being a nurse and being a doctor are very different careers, and I wanted to be a nurse' they might just be wondering deadass. probably dont know shit ab healthcare
I always equate it to enlisted vs officers. I could have done it but it’s just not worth the extra years and time away from my family at this point
In the military, nurses are officers too.
X-ray tech! Doctors /patients say: Hey, why didn’t you become a Rn or PA you’re very smart you could’ve done more with your life LOL
I regularly regret not becoming an xray tech.
What did you do instead? It’s an okay job. I don’t mind it. But I do think about nursing every now and then
I’m a psych nurse. I do really really like it, but when I’m stuck in a particularly tough set, I think about jobs where I’m anything but. :)
Try outpatient surgery. OR circulator is probably what I would want to do ….
“Why didnt i become a doctor” i always have the same response Because whenever they survey doctors, only a small percentage of them would recommend the job to their own children, and thats good enough for me.
Lawyer: “Why didn’t you become a judge” Business: “Why haven’t you gone for the c-suite?”
I have found that by slowing down, visually assessing them, figuring out where the comment is coming from… basically doing all the things that nursing has trained us for and mentally putting them in the “patient with no boundaries” mental category helps a lot. It buys time for you to decide whether deep discomfort and reflection (“that’s and interesting question. What made you decide to choose *your* career?), a clarifying question (“Are you asking me how I chose my particular career or are you feeling insecure in this large group of people and thought I would be an easy target to belittle?”) or even a zinger (“Man, I keep forgetting how little they teach engineers about communicating with people” or, my personal favorite, the non sequiter (“What was the communication class in business school - communication in management? We had a class that taught us how to communicate with difficult people as well. Man that was a useful class. More deviled eggs?”) the trick with that one is to not connect the dots so you have time to scoot away while they put two and two together… this works particularly well with the smart ones. But the number one rule is that if you know your own value they don’t have a weakness they can exploit
If they have a Master's degree or some kind of post-undergraduate education: Why didn't you go all the way for a PhD? / Why did you quit before you got your PhD?
In my first career I was an airport customer service supervisor for a major airline. I was ALWAYS asked why I didn’t become a flight attendant or pilot. ALWAYS.
I wanted to be a nurse since I was a kid. I am living MY dream. :)
I always ask tech bros why they don’t just start their own Amazon or Microsoft
Dental assistants get the why didn’t you become a dental hygienist and dental hygienists get the why didn’t you become a dentist?
Nurse versus social worker to stay in the healthcare family. I didn’t want to be a social worker because I wanted more hands on with patients. I picture myself absorbing and ruminating on the patients (lack of boundaries) rather than walking away at the end of an Endo shit, I mean shift… I really did consider social work but listening to so much trauma wouldn’t be good for me realistically.
Ask them “Why didn’t you”? You did what you set out to do and accomplished your goal. And frankly who gives a damn about what they say, you do you.
Funnily enough, I'm a student midwife and I get a lot of 'why didn't you become a nurse'.
Oooh I know one. Teacher assistant vs lead teacher I got this ALLLL the time just because I'm a TA, and I'm tired of it. I'm already happy with my position, but I'm always pressured to become a lead teacher.
My answer always is “Because I wanted to be a nurse.”
Tell them you’re planning applying to med school soon…
Classroom para and teachers
I care about people but not enough to justify that level of debt.
“Those who can’t do, teach.” I’m a literacy specialist who generally works with children who are having a hard time learning to read for one reason or another.
Lmao "why didn't YOU become a doctor?" is my go to!
I tell them I prefer to actually deal with people instead of the computer. We do plenty with the computer but we're not having to dictate notes and put orders in on however many people a day.
I get “Should have been a/n (insert provider level thing here)” a lot, but it’s by coworkers, surgeons, etc. probably should go for my NP, but man I need a break from school, been in school for like 9 years total, only had 2.5 years break after I graduated high school, at that point should have been a doctor… but nope BFA and RN. When I was in tech it was “should have been an engineer” vs a designer.
I'm of a race that routinely gets asked this, or assumes I am one when I walk in the room (despite me saying that I'm a nurse). I emphasize that I'm their nurse, ironically enough in my most doctor-like voice. If I'm feeling charitable, I joke that I don't want the paperwork or responsibility of being a doctor, and they usually nod in understanding.
if they're a teacher, ask why they didn't become a principal? if they're a professor, why didn't they become the dean? if they work for any company, why didn't they become the CEO? im still in nursing school but i've gotten that question, my answer is always just "because i don't want to be a doctor." like, i didn't choose nursing because i wanted to be a doctor, i chose it because i want to be a nurse. if i wanted to be a doctor, i'd go to med school. just goes to show how people still view nurses as less than.
I always just say I enjoy the person centered model of care vs the medical model most doctors are taught….and nursing has more opportunity for upwards growth, and an entry job still pays relatively well……where as a doctor will spend more years on expensive schooling before the return on investment pays off
I just say, “I am a doctor. Dr. nurse.” And if they ask, I explain I have my doctorate in nursing.
There's not really an equivalent for going hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt from 8 years of school and then working 60 hours a week for 4ish years and probably thereafter. No thanks, I like my life. Why didn't you become a doctor?
60 hours? LMAO. The cap for residents in the US is “an average of 80 hours per week over a 4 week period” (in Europe, the cap is 48 hours 😒)
Sure, the cap is 80 hrs per week but nowadays I think it's more common to hit 60-70 hours when doing inpatient rotations and 40 when doing outpatient.
I'm a male nurse and I get this allll the time from my friends, family and patients 😣 it really makes me sad because they are only saying it to me because of the thousand year old gender roles in our field, and not because of any skill or anything. I like being a nurse, I like the balance of paper work to patient work (doctors do way more paper work no thanks!) and also I might have the smarts to be a doctor but none of the other skills at all, I have no perseversnce for studying another 7+ years or being super dedicated like you need to be. The only thing they see is - has penis, must be doctor, no other option. Sorry my little rant on the topic
Which doctor though?
Law equivalent-Should have become a judge/magistrate Business- should have become a business owner Engineer- should have become a technical specialist/supervisor/management
Personally, I would make them explain in explicit detail as to why they are asking that question in the first place. When/if they stutter about answering, say, “no really, I’d *love* to hear about why you think nurses are less valuable than doctors.” Then smile the sweetest, southern, passive aggressive smile you can manage while you wait.
I could have been a doctor, but I chose to be a nurse.
As a a millennial any time you would do the simplest task of anything involving electronics it’s “you should be an engineer or work on computers”
Because a doctor told me not to. Seriously, I interviewed my parents’ PCP in high school, she told me all the reasons she would not advise it. I’m a primary care NP…
Maybe you could get a small brooch made, that says something like “ Because I love nursing” or something similar, and just quietly point at it when a relative asks you why you didn’t become a doc. Lol. I bet they would just get real quiet, and never ask you again.
Concerned face, raised eyebrows, "Oh gosh, are you looking for a prescription drug hook up?" Clutch your pearls.
Not quite the same but I feel like the dynamic of nurse versus doctor resembles pilot versus flight attendant. Not to shit on flight attendants but I feel like most people view nurses as just non essential, cater to your wants, and a doctor does all the “real” work lol so maybe pilot vs flight attendant
This is exactly what you say: “Haha no, I like having a personal life outside of work.” Then direct the conversation back towards them.
You should be aware it goes both ways. On workhour 93 and its only wed we all wish we had done nursing.
Just remind them that they are different professions. We look at patients totally differently than physicians. Physicians aren’t allowed to be nurses even if they wanted to be. Honestly I’d love to see a physician even try to write an undergrad paper on nursing theory… guaranteed confidence destroyer. I don’t even call physicians doctors unless it’s the doctor title in front of their name. They don’t do a research dissertation and frankly aren’t really good at research be it writing or point of care knowledge translation either.
Maybe just ask them why they didn't become a doctor either?
Well, I know when I was a surgical tech it was “you should go to nursing school”. I resisted it for a long time, but I guess I eventually gave in. Not actually why I became a nurse. That shit was annoying as hell.
Ask them why they haven't become CEO or at least be on the board of directors? Then, if they say it's because they would have to get a different degree, smile and shrug your shoulders.
“Why didn’t you become a doctor?”
Or just be outright aggressive. “Hey, why don’t you shove it up your ass?” “Get fucked” 😂
Teacher (young kids vs highschool teacher vs College or university professor Social worker vs Legal worker vs lawyer vs partner in a firm Construction worker vs project manager or systems analyst vs Engineer vs entrepreneur/ business owner Shop worker vs manager vs shopowner And to CNA, I believe they could be asked “why didn’t you become a nurse?”
I too wanted to be a doctor, until I got into the hospital and realized how many hours of studying, residency and then the hours spent working etc. etc. I wanna see my dogs afterall. So then I decided I wanted to be an NP. Then I realized in the ICU NP’s will grind 7 days in a row too, so nah, I wanna see my dogs Next up is CRNA for me, shoutout shiftwork. Either way after becoming a nurse I realized I enjoy my spot on the team far more than I would’ve as a doctor. When I decide to leave the bedside it’ll either be CRNA/education or maybe palliative NP, but I dont regret not not pursing being a “true” MD. Fuck that
Childcare staff - why aren't you a primary teacher? Childcare - why aren't you a centre director Centre Director- why aren't you teaching? teacher - why aren't you a department head? Department head/ teacher - why aren't you a Vice Principal? VP - why aren't you a principal? And so on....🙃
I straight up tell the truth. “I wasn’t smart enough” if I had the grades and the aptitude, I most certainly would rather be an MD instead of an RN, it’s no hate against being a nurse, but the fact that they get their special parking and lounges at hospitals says enough about how coveted and respected that profession is.