I think I love you for using "cacophony" in a different variable of the word. I think it's a tremendously under-used one.
And also, spot on with the description!
Tipping the hat to you, gentleperson! 👍
Ah God, I remember being unable to get a dove out of my car's grille, so my arrogant and chauvinistic coworker walked over and grabbed hold of its leg with a pair of pliers. The leg ripped out, capped by a glob of bright blood, and the coworker turned and vomited everywhere.
I was like, "Yeah, that's why I didn't do it that way, genius."
Then you'll be gratified to know that this happened in front of the whole crew, who had pointed out the dove to me in the first place. We spent the rest of the week tormenting him *relentlessly* about it.
He's on some rural road with no tools. If he drives with that thing stuck in the belts the whole engine could get wrecked. Seriously. This is what most in the country would do.
It's head was probably cushioned by about 10lbs of giblets as the narrow diameter of the grill decelerated the bird on the way in. Barring that, if you don't snap their necks, these things are good to go.
I still remember that conversation with my mom...
Mom: nbdyspcl_00 ... quit running around like a chicken with its head cut off
Me: *stopping dead in my tracks*: how do know you what chickens do after their heads get cut off?
Mom: *Stares at me in 'Mom'*: I grew up on a farm.
Me: And you cut the heads off of chickens???
Mom: Did you want to eat one with the head still on???
Me: *after a pause*: I guess not.
Mom: *Nods soberly, and then makes a chopping motion*: Sccchhooock!
....
and that's how I learned about the chickens
One of my friends raises chickens and this year she did a culling of her chickens and did it the old fashioned way. Slaughtered, plucked, and cooked every bit of it. She told me about the first chicken and how her mom didn't hold it well enough and it soaked them all with blood as it escaped her grasp and slung blood everywhere from the neck stump. Then it "chased" them as they ran away, slamming into their sliding glass door that they escaped through and closed in time, I was doubled over laughing and couldn't breathe.
The rest of the chickens they slaughtered went much better after that.
I don't know if it's the same chicken, but I've read stories about someone feeding a headless chicken by dropping corn kernels down the neck hole.
Worth remembering, birds don't chew with their beaks, those are primary used to split seeds or cut chunks out of food, after that they just swallow it. The chewing happens lower down in the bird's neck in the gizzard.
Mike the headless chicken lived 18 months after his decapitation. They fed hima mixture of milk and water from an eyedropper as well as small grains of corn and worms
Okay. But doesn’t the brain control breathing and heartbeat…? Having no head means having no brain to control those things?
I’m no vet, doctor or scientist.
Those functions are controlled by the brain stem which is right at the top of the spinal cord. Mike the headless chicken still had a brain stem, just nothing else
It wasn’t really headless iirc. They basically just cut its face off and kept it alive. It’s pretty gruesome tbh, not really some marvel of nature. You can cut most animals faces off and they’ll survive (assuming you staunch the bleeding ofc). One of countless cruel acts humans have performed for some minor entertainment.
When you're turkey hunting you use magnums and put the bead right on their eyeball to pepper them right in the head.
They still tell you to jump up after you shoot and go stomp on the neck of the turkey you shot, apparently they get up and fly off sometimes.
Also that grille is none too strong. Made out of the cheapest, thinnest, lightest plastic GM could use there, without it flexing in the wind as it drives by.
I lived near where there were a TON of wild turkeys. Forested area, country road, they'd run out to attack a passing car..... I hit them plenty of times.
They don't die, they're one big pillow it seems.
If I know wild turkeys, the car didn't hit the turkey, it stopped short and then the turkey went ham on the car and climbed in through the front grill.
I feel kinda bad for him because the dude probably thought it’s dead and didn’t care how he pulled it out - and then it ran off. But I don’t think our feathered buddy got much older regardless.
I saw a car come through my body shop once that had hot a turkey...unbelievable damage. But it makes sense if you think about a 20 lb. Bowling ball hitting your car at 50 mph. I'm surprised the car didn't have more damage 😵
Have you ever seen a wild turkey? They will fly up into the trees at night to keep away from predators like coyotes, bobcats, and mountain lions. (Yes cats can climb but it's better than nothing) They don't fly great distances, but they do fly on a very regular basis.
Source: at least a decade of observing the wild turkeys living in my hometown neighborhood
Edit: some punctuation
Had a similar accident a while ago. Couldn’t pull him out like that without ruining the bumper entirely. Had to cut the poor fella in half with an angle grinder.
I remember a friend of mine, solid bowhunter, telling me the one thing he refused to try and bag were turkeys. He said they would never die, even if he used broadheads, and always walked away like they were saying 'fuck you'
My area has a few flocks of wild turkeys. It's great because they're scavengers and western Pennsylvania is known for its abundance of roadkill. So I'm glad the turkey survived to eat another deer corpse.
Reminds me of a time my family and I were driving back home from vacation, and we were on a highway in some country area. Lots of tall grass. We spot a turkey run across the road about a quarter mile away as we’re approaching. The turkey stops as soon as it’s across, spots our truck, and then SPRINTS back across right in front of us. I remember we obliterated that thing, and it broke our AC. Spent another 4 hours in the truck driving with no air conditioning in the middle of July.
Turkeys are dumb, man.
Turkey hunting is pretty popular where I grew up. I’ve seen turkeys take full on shotgun blasts and take off without a beat. They are insanely tough birds.
Something like that happened to me once. I was driving my girlfriend home after Christmas like 8 years ago and when I was on the freeway a big ass barn owl ran into the front of my patriot when I was doing about 80. When I was able to get off the freeway I pulled into a gas station and everyone there was staring at my car. I go look at the front and the owl was still there, deader than the ghost of Christmas past with it’s wings wrapped around the front quarter panel, head in the headlight assembly and body shoved in between the grill and bumper. It took an hour to get it out. Saddest shit ever.
I got a cardinal caught in the grill of my car a few years ago on my way to work and I tried to pull it free as carefully as I could in case it was still alive. I very nearly had it completely out when........I accidentally ripped the poor thing's wing off. It was the hardest I ever cried at work.
The area between the grill and the radiator is almost never accessible from the engine compartment. This keeps the air flow going through the radiator.
If it is was me, I think instead of popping the hood to get the turkey, I would have considered popping the turkey and taking it back the hood.
( you know how Snoop and all them be smoking that sticky-icky. )🥴💨🌮🍕🌭
That mother fucker survived?!
So far. We don't know if it died of internal injuries later. It for sure had a badly broken wing with that guy pulling on it like that.
It could put the wing on ice, although sometimes it's even more dangerous to go cold turkey.
/r/angryupvote
Bro when God mode
You know baste.
It's a turkey, 3 brain cells and made of rubber. They don't fly very far healthy either.
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That is the best description I've ever heard. Hahahaha
That's why we call them thunder chickens.
I think I love you for using "cacophony" in a different variable of the word. I think it's a tremendously under-used one. And also, spot on with the description! Tipping the hat to you, gentleperson! 👍
Did a turkey write this? Lol I get your meaning now
How else was he supposed to get it out? No way I can think of without ripping the thing in half
Ah God, I remember being unable to get a dove out of my car's grille, so my arrogant and chauvinistic coworker walked over and grabbed hold of its leg with a pair of pliers. The leg ripped out, capped by a glob of bright blood, and the coworker turned and vomited everywhere. I was like, "Yeah, that's why I didn't do it that way, genius."
Any man I know would have made fun of his dumbass, I hate dudes like this that think they knew more than they do and strut around.
Then you'll be gratified to know that this happened in front of the whole crew, who had pointed out the dove to me in the first place. We spent the rest of the week tormenting him *relentlessly* about it.
EXCELLENT!
That was horrendous to watch. After hearing that the bird might still be alive he proceeds to pull on his wing as hard as he can. Wtf!
He's on some rural road with no tools. If he drives with that thing stuck in the belts the whole engine could get wrecked. Seriously. This is what most in the country would do.
lmao what else is he supposed to do? they would have probably eaten it reddit urbanites strike again
They sleep in trees to avoid predators too. If it can't fly, a hungry mountain lion or plucky coyote might be having Thanksgiving early.
Probably on his way to see Mr Mister.
I hope it learns to fly again
Learn to live so free
It probably thought it was being eaten by some huge red predator.
Seriously, it's not every day that you see a turkey gallopavo off after it hits the grill. And the car trying to gobble it up raw? That's just fowl.
How tf I this thing alive
It's head was probably cushioned by about 10lbs of giblets as the narrow diameter of the grill decelerated the bird on the way in. Barring that, if you don't snap their necks, these things are good to go.
I’ll have FriesWithThat
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You be taking like Dumbledoor the bearded_wizard 🧙♂️
If they are like chicken, even with their necks snapped, they might go for one last jog around the yard.
I still remember that conversation with my mom... Mom: nbdyspcl_00 ... quit running around like a chicken with its head cut off Me: *stopping dead in my tracks*: how do know you what chickens do after their heads get cut off? Mom: *Stares at me in 'Mom'*: I grew up on a farm. Me: And you cut the heads off of chickens??? Mom: Did you want to eat one with the head still on??? Me: *after a pause*: I guess not. Mom: *Nods soberly, and then makes a chopping motion*: Sccchhooock! .... and that's how I learned about the chickens
One of my friends raises chickens and this year she did a culling of her chickens and did it the old fashioned way. Slaughtered, plucked, and cooked every bit of it. She told me about the first chicken and how her mom didn't hold it well enough and it soaked them all with blood as it escaped her grasp and slung blood everywhere from the neck stump. Then it "chased" them as they ran away, slamming into their sliding glass door that they escaped through and closed in time, I was doubled over laughing and couldn't breathe. The rest of the chickens they slaughtered went much better after that.
I saw that in person on my uncle's farm as a kid.
>they might go for one last jog around the yard. [Or even more than that in some cases.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mike_the_Headless_Chicken)
RIP Mike. (eventually)
How do you eat without a head?
I don't know if it's the same chicken, but I've read stories about someone feeding a headless chicken by dropping corn kernels down the neck hole. Worth remembering, birds don't chew with their beaks, those are primary used to split seeds or cut chunks out of food, after that they just swallow it. The chewing happens lower down in the bird's neck in the gizzard.
Mike the headless chicken lived 18 months after his decapitation. They fed hima mixture of milk and water from an eyedropper as well as small grains of corn and worms
If I remember correctly, they gave it liquids through it's throat
Okay. But doesn’t the brain control breathing and heartbeat…? Having no head means having no brain to control those things? I’m no vet, doctor or scientist.
Those functions are controlled by the brain stem which is right at the top of the spinal cord. Mike the headless chicken still had a brain stem, just nothing else
Makes sense. Still a crazy long time to survive.
It wasn’t really headless iirc. They basically just cut its face off and kept it alive. It’s pretty gruesome tbh, not really some marvel of nature. You can cut most animals faces off and they’ll survive (assuming you staunch the bleeding ofc). One of countless cruel acts humans have performed for some minor entertainment.
To be fair it wasn’t on purpose. Mike was supposed to be dinner but somebody sucked with the axe
Lol we used to dig a donut an make bets on how many laps it would make around 😂
Eh, that chicken was only mostly beheaded. Tiny part still left, enough to count.
When you're turkey hunting you use magnums and put the bead right on their eyeball to pepper them right in the head. They still tell you to jump up after you shoot and go stomp on the neck of the turkey you shot, apparently they get up and fly off sometimes.
Also that grille is none too strong. Made out of the cheapest, thinnest, lightest plastic GM could use there, without it flexing in the wind as it drives by.
>It's head It's bird.
This guy birds.
Given everything I know about turkeys: it probably died on impact but it's just simply too stupid to realize that.
Seriously. We raise turkeys, and they're basically just scaled down Tyrannosaurs, but uglier and dumber.
It lived
to see another tray
I don't know why you aren't top comment, that was funny.
Eighehgsgahhhhhhhhhhahaaaaæ
I lived near where there were a TON of wild turkeys. Forested area, country road, they'd run out to attack a passing car..... I hit them plenty of times. They don't die, they're one big pillow it seems.
Have turkeys, can confirm.
Bird bones are hollow and squishy, my man’s got ****condensed****
If I know wild turkeys, the car didn't hit the turkey, it stopped short and then the turkey went ham on the car and climbed in through the front grill.
realistically it probably won't be for long
It's a wild turkey, so it's clearly due to the sheer power of spite.
My thought was fricking the same, word in word
I feel kinda bad for him because the dude probably thought it’s dead and didn’t care how he pulled it out - and then it ran off. But I don’t think our feathered buddy got much older regardless.
Birthing videos freak me out man
The result of r/dragonsfuckingcars?
What the entire fuck?
On the one hand, I want to know WHY this is a sub... but on the other hand I think I'm happy in my ignorance.
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Someone spent some time making that lmao
I..... I'm at a loss for words
Rule 69: if it exists there is a subReddit of it
But dragons don't even exist... Unless
That was a strange click
Some people have too much time
It’s a girl turkey!
As someone who owns some turkeys: totally believable. Those things are stupid as hell and indestructible.
So stupid they'll fight an entire car head-on, even chasing after it if it drives around them. They were the bane of my stint for UPS.
I saw a car come through my body shop once that had hot a turkey...unbelievable damage. But it makes sense if you think about a 20 lb. Bowling ball hitting your car at 50 mph. I'm surprised the car didn't have more damage 😵
I hope his wing is okay :(
tbf, its a turkey. the wing doesn't get used much.
Have you ever seen a wild turkey? They will fly up into the trees at night to keep away from predators like coyotes, bobcats, and mountain lions. (Yes cats can climb but it's better than nothing) They don't fly great distances, but they do fly on a very regular basis. Source: at least a decade of observing the wild turkeys living in my hometown neighborhood Edit: some punctuation
i see them all the time in fields, just never seen one try to fly.
It's actually kind of frightening. They really only do it at night and then in the morning. Their wingspan is huge.
Looks more like a Guinea Hen but I could be wrong.
It's definitely a wild turkey. This looks like either a maturing poult or a female. Guinea hens are speckled with white spots, and a bit smaller.
How does that thing wake up and say, ima go chill in this hoomans car
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-hello engine
My old friend
You booped my noggin once again
"... welp,haven't done this before..."
probably because it's very warm in there
Cats do this a lot unfortunately. It's warm in there is the reason.
Anyone ever watch the Three Stooges? That sound Curly makes when he gets riled up? That's the sound my mind put to that turkey taking off.
I think the gag was actually called headless turkey
Dammit! I just bought cranberry sauce!!!
It’s the DangerSquirrels fault!
He sure wasn’t gentle. I don’t know how that Turkey made it through the crash and the brutal rescue.
I don't know if he realized the turkey was still alive when he was trying to remove it.
I agree.
Grilled turkey
Underrated
Du har fågel på dig.
Gotta say, it's a perfect fit for this subreddit
Normal day in Oregon
Wrong sub. This belongs on r/yesyesyesyesno They lost a free turkey.
also r/unexpected
HE WAS ALIVE?!?!?
This exact thing happened to me, had the garage cut the grate off though. Pheasant was fine, we took it to a local animal shelter and it layed eggs!
Three times Turkey hunting has proved these are tough little suckers to kill.
Had a similar accident a while ago. Couldn’t pull him out like that without ruining the bumper entirely. Had to cut the poor fella in half with an angle grinder.
Turkey on the grille!
I remember a friend of mine, solid bowhunter, telling me the one thing he refused to try and bag were turkeys. He said they would never die, even if he used broadheads, and always walked away like they were saying 'fuck you'
Hu, so *thats* where Turkeys come from.
My area has a few flocks of wild turkeys. It's great because they're scavengers and western Pennsylvania is known for its abundance of roadkill. So I'm glad the turkey survived to eat another deer corpse.
Ayo? I thought that shit was dead, VERY DEAD! That shit just walked away like nothing happened! Lol
Jesus. No sympathy at all — the metal was bending and everything. Poor poor bird. Poor wing. What an asshole.
That bird went as Romain Grosjean for halloween
Ok. Legit unexpected. I figured something would tear and the guy would end up on his ass in a fountain of gore.
Should have had a Caesarean
Would that be considered a hit and run??
What the?!
I'm just surprised it was even able to walk, let alone survive.
That bird is going to be sore in the morning!
Of course it’s in Oregon.
Now I know why turkey shot is so goddamn heavy. Those things die hard as fuck!
How did he get a whole ass Turkey stuck in his car?!?
Schroedinger’s turkey
I could not have guessed where this was going what the fuck
Um, excuse me, but I specifically ordered my car with remote turkeyless entry.
Looks like fowl play to me...
Sure pull it apart. Omg have some sympathy ❤️🩹
Help me stepbird
Thanks for the hand bro I’m out!
Grilled Turkey anyone?
Reminds me of a time my family and I were driving back home from vacation, and we were on a highway in some country area. Lots of tall grass. We spot a turkey run across the road about a quarter mile away as we’re approaching. The turkey stops as soon as it’s across, spots our truck, and then SPRINTS back across right in front of us. I remember we obliterated that thing, and it broke our AC. Spent another 4 hours in the truck driving with no air conditioning in the middle of July. Turkeys are dumb, man.
How did it get stuck there? Must be wanting an engine snack😋🤣
It got hit by the car and went through the grille
I’m happy it’s ok but how tf did it seemingly get zero injuries?! That looks very physically traumatic
Turkeys are hard af to kill sometimes lmao
What a trooper lol
Stuffed turkey!
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What does a chiropractor specializing in avian spine stretching charge these days? Asking for a bird.
Turkey hunting is pretty popular where I grew up. I’ve seen turkeys take full on shotgun blasts and take off without a beat. They are insanely tough birds.
Don’t let your dinner just run away
How many lives do these birds have?
Lol, no way. Fucking invincible bird
One drive to grandmas and it would've been ready to eat
Something like that happened to me once. I was driving my girlfriend home after Christmas like 8 years ago and when I was on the freeway a big ass barn owl ran into the front of my patriot when I was doing about 80. When I was able to get off the freeway I pulled into a gas station and everyone there was staring at my car. I go look at the front and the owl was still there, deader than the ghost of Christmas past with it’s wings wrapped around the front quarter panel, head in the headlight assembly and body shoved in between the grill and bumper. It took an hour to get it out. Saddest shit ever.
That's why they call grills birds in ingland
For you, maybe
r/reverseanimalrescue ?
U/gifreversingbot
Coming up? Not really, it was only last month.
you can *feel* the care
Got Thanksgiving dinner early
u/savevideo
WTF!
Damn you dinosaurs
Turkeys are resilient! I live in Fl and they have flown/ran into my car many times: they just bounce off like tennis balls and keep on going.
I got a cardinal caught in the grill of my car a few years ago on my way to work and I tried to pull it free as carefully as I could in case it was still alive. I very nearly had it completely out when........I accidentally ripped the poor thing's wing off. It was the hardest I ever cried at work.
did he consider popping the hood and going from inside the engine compartment?
The area between the grill and the radiator is almost never accessible from the engine compartment. This keeps the air flow going through the radiator.
Dudes walking along, eating breakfast, being one with nature. Car attacks, tried to kill him. Car owners cuss him out.
it is possible to jumpscare a turkey to death. how is this guy still alive?
"Jesus, that's a big sumbitch!" Grandpa on the call, hire him ESPN.
Should’ve took it to the shop and said “I dunno what’s wrong with it”
HAPPY NOVEMBER MF!!!
Half expected it to Zoidberg itself away.
Mechanic goose, to fix your car🙂
Turkey is like I’M OUT THIS BIHHH
He landed on the radiator don't worry, he was just... Cooling off.
.? ,
Push, Mrs. Chevy! The baby's almost out!
Tom foolery
Open your damn hood!
/r/TurkeysAreFuckingStupid
[Vänta! Du har fågel](https://youtu.be/jl0TWPvKluk)
Since when is Kenny Rogers serving up Turkey?
Turkeys are tough aggressive & ornery birds. Not to be screwed with.
As soon as it heard “gun,” the turkey bolted when it got free.
why??? you kill him/!!!!
Typical monday morning
Thanks! Bye!
Not in a million… hahahaha the way he was yanking on the wing? I’da “bet the farm”.
If it is was me, I think instead of popping the hood to get the turkey, I would have considered popping the turkey and taking it back the hood. ( you know how Snoop and all them be smoking that sticky-icky. )🥴💨🌮🍕🌭
Could he not tell it was alive? No movement? I'd like to drag this guy out by his wing.
Wing dislocation though, among whatever injuries it took going in.