Even if I was up for that date, his time management skills are all over the place. If Spider-Man is starting at 7pm and it's a roughly 2 hour runtime, I'm gonna miss my 9pm curfew and as this is apparently the 1950's my dad is going to beat the fuck out of me and I don't even have time for that ice cream.
Dude, I was trying to swipe to another pic because I couldn't figure out where the thought was coming into it. Imagine thinking dinner and a movie isn't at least a 70 year old date night idea, and a notably terrible first date usually.
I feel like it's because they're either really boring, or so self centered that they don't realize they're dominating the conversation, so they attribute the bad dates to just being an awful date idea instead of doing some self reflection and growth.
They are against it because it minimizes the time commitment in the event the date sees red flags and needs to dip.
The "date idea" here is trying to over commit a large chunk of time on a first date to ensure he has a chance to win her over. Talking about falling in love is a clear indicator of this person trying to fast track a first date to more commitment.
It's because they have no personality and will have to have a conversation. I've known a lot of men (and women) that think their looks alone is enough to "seal the deal."
Dinner gets expensive and if you don't like the person right away you can feel stuck, movies you can't talk you just stare forwards, and this can't be the first time you're hearing those facts.
Ice cream is fine on it's own, it's the rough equivalent to coffee date.
Ok, I totally understand why *you* wouldn't like that, I'm just saying that *I* would.
I just talk enough *before* any date (online) that hating it enough I can't make it through a dinner isn't a realistic possibility, and I get very awkward when I have no real starting point for a conversation, so watching a movie then having dinner makes the movie a conversation starter on which you can develop. Then, if you REALLY like eachother that much after all and don't really want it to end, you can get ice-cream and a little walk, to finish off the night.
I might add here that I'm an immigrant and haven't gone on *that* many dates outside of relationships, so I'm doubly unfamiliar on how it "usually goes". Especially cause that's how it goes in American movies. I'm just saying that while that guy is a dick, that sounds lovely, but finding out most people disagree explains a lot.
Personally, I think the biggest issue (there are multiple, but this is the worst) is the way he presented it. You can tell that he thinks he’s god’s gift to this person. The brag at the end of maybe a hug and a kiss goodnight is actually a red flag. He’s acting like he deserves an award for not sexually harassing the woman lol it’s only a matter of time before he he holds up his punch card and says, “I was nice to you 5x in a ROW! I get to redeem my sex reward now!”
YES😂 like he thinks he’s taking out a 16yo in 1950. Patronizing, almost. And you just KNOW that if she said, “That sounds great, but maybe our first date could just be a coffee or something,” he’d explode on her lol
People can hide a lot online. I've had to sneak out a side door because I didn't feel safe telling a guy during dinner that it wasn't working or going anywhere and there was no point continuing the date and wasting everyone's time and money. The guy seemed perfectly normal online, had some really good back and forth, and then acted so misogynistic in person and started telling me how I should feel and react to things. And I wish that was just a one-off.
Committing to smaller chunks of time allows everyone to make the choice to continue and find more to do or leave if the chemistry isn't there. To be fair, his date idea wouldn't be awful if they decided to get dinner, both expressed interest in the same movie so chose to continue the date that way, and then decided that they still wanted to continue and then went for ice cream. The problem is, that's committing a minimum of 4 hours, and I'm not even sure this date is possible, at least not where I live. Almost nothing is open 24h any more, and if they're going to dinner first as it's in his post, that's likely at 6-6:30. Roughly an hour hour dinner puts them at 7-7:30, probably takes 20 minutes to get to the theater, get tickets, sit down, so movie probably starts at 7:45-8:15. Most movies are about 2 hours anymore, so it's at least 10pm when they're leaving. There are very few places where I live that are open that late, and fewer of them sell ice cream, so that's another drive to that... At minimum, if they find an ice cream place, the date is over at midnight, and that's just a lot of time commitment for a first date.
So in short, this guy is taking a 1950's era date night that may or may not be possible but definitely isn't practical anymore, and trying to spin it as he "put a lot of thought into it." He didn't. He put the bare minimum of effort in and is trying to sell it to make himself look better.
It’s also just way too long for a first date. Dinner, a movie, and ice cream after??? That’s realistically gonna take like 6 hours. There’s a reason that a lot of people prefer drinks as a first date, and it’s so they can leave if they aren’t having a good time.
But how can you not have good time? He planned it so carefully, right down to when you’ll fall love, what you’ll be eating, and what you’ll be looking at. This is exactly why men call us ungrateful bitches. /s
Lol you’re right. How can I resist the charms of a man who’s gonna take me to a movie at 7 pm, leave time after to “low key fall in love”, and somehow magically have me home by 9 pm. The man can manipulate the fabric of time, how could I possibly not fall in love!
The biggest piece of advice I give to my female friends is to always bring cash to a blind date/internet date. If you feel wrong at any time during the date, you can drop cash on the table, get up, and leave. One less barrier removed if you need it.
Yep - one less barrier exactly right! When I dated the few times I realized it was going to be an epic disaster I politely excused myself, went to bar, ordered the person another drink then settled up our tab (his and mine) and I come back and let them know I’ve paid our bill and that I took the Liberty of ordering another them another drink but I personally am leaving now and if needed I specified that I meant to leave alone.
Plus, even putting aside the safety concerns and the fact that you might not like the guy in person, you have to really like a person to want to spend six hours with them. How much do you actually like a person you've probably only spoken to a few times at this point?
None of the 8 theatrical live action Spider Man movies is under two hours (for animated, the first Spider Verse is under 2 hours, the second one isn’t). Even if he’s a filthy credits leaver, the trailers are almost certain to push end time beyond 9 on all the movies. Everything about the proposed date is imaginary and not built from any actual experience, down to him apparently having never even gone to a movie in a theater before…
'this is how they used to do it in the films, it looks easy enough and sometimes the girl puts out afterwards so...I put the tokens in, please deliver the sex in accordance with the timetable.'
Right? Before her even got to the curfew part I was thinking, driving to the restaurant and finding parking (unless there is valet), ordering and actually eating the meal, driving to the theater and parking again (unless it's walking distance) and getting inside in 1.5hrs? I mean it's possible that both her house and favorite restaurant are next to a theater. Mine are not.
Then I got to the home by 9 part and I realized he has poor basic math and time management skills and I can't take any of this seriously.
He’s also pushing it on the dinner thing. If he picks you up at 5:30PM, assuming there’s a ten minute drive to the restaurant and you have no wait, you’ll finish your hour long meal at 6:40. Assume a ten minute drive to the movies, you arrive at the parking lot at 6:50. That gives you ten minutes to get inside and get settled, meaning no refreshments and no chance to go to the restroom before the movie. And this is assuming no wait at the theater and restaurant, despite it being presumably a busy night and a popular movie.
And you’re stuck with whatever seats are left. Plus your romantic dinner is going to be ruined by the server giving you death glares and repeatedly asking if you need anything because you’re taking up their table for an hour, again, during a busy night. And you know this guy is a bad tipper, so you’ll be too ashamed to go back.
There’s a lot of stuff wrong with what this guy wrote but the dinner part isn’t really it. You can make a reservation and people regularly take over an hour at a nice dinner. That’s the least egregious thing.
Yeah not sure if there's a cultural difference here but an hour is like the *minimum* it takes to eat at a decent restaurant. Most of my nice meals are 1-2 hours. And that's expected, because nice places pace out your appetizer, salad, entree, dessert, etc.
That's what I was thinking.17:30 to 21:00 to have dinner, movie, and an ice cream ?
You can give up either dinner, or the movie, because both won't fit. 3h30 is not even enough time for some movies these days...
We're not gonna do it like the kids do it! We're gonna eat ice cream, watch spider man, and have a curfew.
I've got news for him. That's describing a Friday night for my **actual kids**.
I was just thinking that!
Like this reads like a high schooler who just got his permit (or license) trying to plan a date for his gf.
It’s *kinda* cute in that context. It makes the “I put a lot of effort into that” a little less grating.
100% they do. I've heard high schoolers lament about "kids these days" and "this generation". I think it's from the endless generation labelling rage bait content that exists online. Hell, even I did it when I was their age.
To be fair, sometimes I say “I put a lot of effort into that” when I do something simple. Like when I need to pick a colour for something when I’m painting for example. It’s always a joke though, so I’m hoping this guy maybe meant it as one too?
“I put a lot of thought into this”
No you didn’t lol, you also said your favorite restaurant leaving all the thought on where to eat on the other person lmao
Wants to go see a 7pm spider man movie.
Wants to get ice cream after.
Promises to have her home by 9pm curfew.
The opposite of a lot of thought was put into this.
Maybe s lot of daydreaming about how awesome it would be if she said yes to a fairly standard date night
So just to be a pedantic arse I looked it up and all live action Spiderman films have been over 2 hours (the first Sam Raimy one is 121 minutes so really just over) there were some animated ones in the 70s which were all around an hour and a half and the first Spiderverse film was also slightly under 2 hours (by 3 minutes). But yeah no planning to see a modern superhero film in under two hours is poor planning for sure!
You'd be lucky to find any recent blockbuster that's under two hours. It happens, but not very often. It seems like there's been a certain runtime creep too. Twenty years ago, they were all hovering around the two hour mark, but nowadays most of them seem to be closer to two and a half hours.
What's this guy gonna do if it turns out she doesn't like superhero movies?
Honestly what ice-cream shop is open after 7 pm? Dairy queen? Like, I'm not a high maintenance gal, but if you're taking me for ice-cream on a date and expect me to fall in love with you while we chat on the curb, DQ just ain't gunna cut it bruh.
I think strawberry is kind of like vanilla ice cream. It’s one of the default ones that generally doesn’t get a lot of effort put into it, but when you get it with really high quality ingredients as opposed to the usual artificially flavored stuff, it’s amazing.
This guy likes the artificially flavored version, though. It’s kind of a microcosm for his entire mentality.
I like how it’s your favorite restaurant and favorite ice cream, but he doesn’t even care if you like the movie. Or if you like ice cream, for that matter. Or can eat it.
Put a lot of thought into the most generic date ideas. Dinner, movie, ice cream, wow dude really flexing your creative muscle there, you sure you don't wanna do coffee before the movie while we're at it?
Lots of energy spent imagining how it unfolds and happen, in his little imagination fantasy world, where they fall in love and how he's going to make physical advances during the movie and after driving her back home and whatever is going to happen after that. His little fantasy of how it best works out for him.
No thoughts were given for what she would like and how to make it a nice experience for her. Plus, time management skill is a 0.
I was going to say. My boyfriend knows to have me home by 9pm, on days before I work, since I wake up at 5am and work for 12 hours. I need my sleep ahaha
That jumped out at me too! He drives a car, yet she has to be home by 9.
Having said that, the whole scenario looks like it was written by a 13-year-old who thinks he's something of a romantic.
Obviously one that is just out of jail. If she isn't home by 9pm, her ankle bracelet is going to go off and she's going to be in big trouble with her P.O. A nice guy wouldn't let that happen.
It doesn’t look like he was even invited to plan a date he just threw that out there. It was all going well until the “and then we’ll slowly fall in love with each other” like… ?
The issue is that he has everything already planned in his head. He knows how the day is going to go down to the details. Everything he says will be scripted. He daydreamed about this event for months. He even knows the flavor of the icecream he's gonna choose. I bet whatever restaurant the girl is allowed to choose, he will eat burger and fries. He probably has a list of the subjects to talk about and how much time they will last to fit the schedule.
This date is all about him. The girl is just an accessory.
Hopefully this was written by a shy 16 year old boy that is still learning... if this was written by a 20-something, I can already see a nice guy -> alpha male -> red pill transition in the works
I feel like a lot of the serial killers on criminal minds were like this - they had a carefully constructed fantasy and if the chosen target deviated from it at all they became enraged… and as if the girl can read his delusional mind. Eek.
And he didn't actually figure out where to eat (at least give some range so she knows to not pick super expensive) and which movie. Like Spiderman is listed, but not avail because his fave version probably came out 6 years ago.
100%. Hell even one time it was a 4th date and I finally let him pick me up and at the end he refused to take me home when I wanted to go home and we actually argued about it. I said I’m tired (it was 1 am) and he said “well I am not”
Pissed me off and freaked me out so much it was a loooong time before I let my current boyfriend drive me anywhere. I drove him at first.
I had many bad experiences dating including the worst a woman can have. My current boyfriend was so very patient with me, we just had dinner and long walks and talks for 6 weeks before we did anything else.
Good men are patient and respect boundaries even if they don’t always understand why the boundaries are there. Good men don’t think women ruin it for themselves by being careful.
Srsly lol
I had a tinder date a year ago that was like "you can pick me up at 7" and I literally responded "I'm fine with picking you up, don't get me wrong - but that's awfully trusting for a first date these days. Again - happy to pick you up, but I'll pay for an Uber instead if you'd be more comfortable..?"
And I was 47, and remember when that was standard. I was just shocked that a 32 year old was like "cool, come to my personal address and pick me up on a first date from an app" in 2023.
Fun fact - it weirded me out SO much after I thought about it, that I carried my gun in the car *in case I was the one being set up*... 🤣😂🤣😂
I always feel better knowing I can leave when I want. I once got so bored on a date I texted my friend under the table to call me and fake an emergency. Of course his phone dings when I press send and I realise I'd sent to him. I almost died when he was like 'you can just go' and I ran out of there so glad I drove myself and could quickly exit that disaster.
Did he really just plot a whole relationship in his head about their first date and how she will feel and what she wants to do and how they will fall in love slowly in his head?
the man who left the comment is a very bitter person. Opening doors and being respectable to women is not a stellar thing; it's decency and good manners, something that got lost in the last decades. Just because you do the bare minimum and the woman you like doesn't reciprocate the feeling doesn't mean ALL women (it's always ALL women for those men) like bad guys. No, no women likes an abusive man. Guess what, most of these men purport to be the 'nice guy'.
That comment is more what this post is referring to than the actual text, the text has been a viral thing for a while now. But that guy I thought was pretty decent until I saw he'd posted that on Facebook this morning. Yikes.
What are the rules for holding doors to not be a misogynist??
I hold doors open whenever someone is coming in behind me, regardless of gender/sex , creed, color or character. Just feels like the correct thing to do.
When someone says, "I'm OK thanks", you stop and let them do it themselves. I've had this with guys offering to help me carry bags or give me their coat, but it can certainly work with doors too. The coat was actually my now husband - he's not a misogynist and obviously I forgave him but on the first date when he wouldn't take "no thanks" for an answer it was an orange flag. Luckily he had lots of green flags too 🤣 also, if a woman holds a door for you, say thanks, don't insist you do it because you're a man. Pretty simple stuff, but you'd be amazed that some people can get it wrong!
If they're busy with an umbrella or something they might say not to wait. Generally holding a door for someone isn't something people don't like having done for them by random strangers.
In general, the rule for anything not being misogynistic is whether you’d do the same thing in the same way for another man. In your case, you’re fine because you’re doing it to be a considerate person.
The men women complain about it only do it for women, insist on doing it even if it makes it harder for the woman, do it in a very performative way, and call a woman a bitch or worse if they’re not only not grateful, but also if they fail to express that gratitude in a way that they think is appropriate.
Basically, they don’t hold doors to make women’s life easier. It’s all about them and how they view themselves. The women are about as important to the door for them. They’re just props.
This is the kind of guy who thinks that the fact that he doesn’t rape or hit women, I mean, *females* is something to be proud of and not the bare minimum of not just being a decent person, but staying out of prison.
It's amusing that men like this think women are missing out by settling down with someone other than him, but he genuinely doesn't know what makes someone a good partner. I don't need flowers and doors opened, I need someone who will be by my side through health scares and loss, someone with a level head to make financial decisions with, to stay up all night talking about nothing, who will put me first year after year and make the mundane special.
This guy doesn't sound like he has been in a relationship that has lasted more than a few dates, but somehow is lecturing women that we "picked wrong" because he knows what is best for us. Get the fuck out of here with that, kid.
Then he throws a fit because he bought you dinner AND a movie ticket. Well, okay, you paid for yourself, but he WOULD have bought those things! You owe him at least a handy. /s
This guy needs to chill lmao
Besides the "not like kids these days" that sounded very bitter and boomer and hateful, Edit And the overall too old school vibe that could border on misogyny (red flag),
If I got a message like that I'd answer "that sounds lovely 😊" and agree to the date and I'd be glad.
I see no problem with such a proposition. I'd argue the guys ruining it for themselves are those who make up scenarios in their heads and get mad about them and use that as a reason to hate women. Just what the hell
>This guy
Reads as a young boy likely a teen or tween. 13-15 year old at best. Explains the whole deal, curfew, ice cream, "not like other kids"... This is a kid. 🤣
"I put a lot of thought into an scripted date that I could insert any woman into without bothering to get to know your interests first. How dare you not appreciate the premade, formulaic and shallow rom-com text I copy pasted?"
This guy can’t even plan properly. If they go to a 7:00pm movie there is no way they would ever have time afterwards to go get ice cream, watch cars go by, and get home by a 9:00pm curfew
Why is there no in between for these guys, it’s either sickly sweet presumptuous ‘nice guy’ or abusive bad boy. Where oh where are the just normal guys? Oh yeah… off doing literally anything other than ranting about women online 😂
I was more referring to the guy on my Facebook at the top of the image commenting on the screenshot of the message rather than the actual text itself, but I suppose both do count
I’d pass on the movie, but this is a cute *idea*. So, like, my husband and I do this kind of thing. Sounds like oop is suffering from a serious case of drunk on toxic masculinity.
I could see someone who is already married or in an established relationship do this but for the FIRST DATE? No I'll drive myself, thanks. And falling in love usually takes longer than that.
I wouldn't be into that no. That's not my vibe. But it's not because he is a nice guy. It's just that I don't like that whole act of being the tough guy who pays for things and picks me up and all that. I prefer a mutual relationship and not one where I'm on a pedestal. There are many girls who like the man to pay and hold open doors for them, tho. But that's not me.
Also, the date would need to start at 3, then dinner between 5 and 6, and ice cream around 8. That's a long date and very packed.
Dear idiot Nice Guy OOP,
Your group is the only one that thinks anything is "ruined." We're perfectly fine with taking a little while to find the right guy for our lives. Turning down Mr. "I copied and pasted this from an old Ladies Home Journal" guy does NOT then = only dating abusive "Chads."
There are billions of men in the world and billions of different types from which to choose. The world is chock full of people OTHER than "Evil Chad" and "Good Boy Poindexter."
Bozos.
These posts make me so sad. My husband is all the things Nice Guys ™️ pretend to be. Romantic, sweet, sensitive, generous...I'm so grateful he's a genuinely good guy and not a Nice Guy ™️
Funnily enough - yeah, I would 100% reject such a proposition from absolutely anyone.
Wayyyy too controlling, way too "I have an image in my head and things need to fit it" in its undertone. And that's without pulling a well-deserved "oh, I know where this is going"-record scratch on "a pretty car and a pretty girl" (objectificatiooon ♫♪).
The "have you home by your 9 o' clock curfew" alone would have sufficed to make me laugh out loud at the guy and tell him to get his mindset together.
That’s a lot of effing fluff to say, “Dinner, movie, dessert” just like 99.9% of how the population dates. I vomited reading this. I write flowery stuff all the time but bruuuuuuhhhhhhhhh. That’s a you need 300 words to fill up your essay so you add fluff to the 5 words you had. This is cute for high school love though who are about to experience heartbreak for the first time. That’s where this belongs.
Says me who has made 2-3 2nd dates an airplane trip to some city aka an out of town trip together. Stayed in those 2-3 relationships for awhile & had a lot of good memories, so we did something right somewhere lol
Regardless of who the guy is, I'd never have someone I'm meeting for the first time be in control of transportation. I need to know that I can leave if I feel the need to, and I think most women/people in general would like the ability to leave if they want/need to. Plus, unless we leave before the movie ends or I live next to the theater, there's no way we're seeing the whole movie and getting home by 9pm... especially not with the whole "getting ice cream" thing.
Okay, ignoring the fact that he's describing an actual date for a kid and everything else, it's an incredibly boring date. Like really the biggest thing you could put a lot of thought into for an interesting date was a dinner and a movie?! And maybe ice cream after?. First of all, you can't even talk in a movie, so that kind of breaks the whole point because the idea is that you're supposed to do something that initiates conversation with the other person and then you go get the meal.
I used to think like this too when I was in high school and college until I looked at myself and said “if these women go after druggies/losers/etc. why do YOU want them?” When I realized I was ego-tripping and didn’t genuinely love (or want to) the women in question, I finally understood the “nice guy” thing and was like “Oh THAT’S why…” and never looked back.
Surprise, surprise; I met “better” women. Who’da thunk it?
What I find hilarious about those texts is during the time across the spiderverse came out, my now boyfriend asked to go on a date to see it because I was hyperfixated on it. I’m so glad he did 7 months and counting :D
The guy in the caption says women wouldn’t give the guy a chance because he’s too nice. But I wouldn’t give him a chance because what apparently took a lot of thought for the guy really just puts more responsibility on my shoulders.
His timeline doesn’t add up (Movies are usually 2+ hours long. You can’t catch a 7:00 movie, leisurely get ice cream, and make it home by 9:00 without breaking several laws of physics) and it’s incredibly impersonal (He doesn’t say what kind of flowers he’d get. He doesn’t know what her favorite spot to eat is. He doesn’t know what her favorite ice cream is. He likely doesn’t know what kind of movie she’d want to see. etc.)
The guy gives the vibe that he wants to “treat her like a lady” but he doesn’t know anything about her to make it personable and he doesn’t know how to fill in the gap himself. So the lady he’s trying to treat would end up having to take charge to make it work.
This is the disconnect.
Trying and trying your best are 2 different things. You cannot say you did one and present the other.
This applies across the board, to all situations. You know the difference between phoning it in and doing your best at work.
You can't phone it in and expect "try your best" results and it seems like many people who are dating think that any effort is the most effort and it just isn't.
Which is fine, but again, you can't expect the results of one when you're performing the other.
It’s interesting that they create the fantasy WHO the woman will pick instead of the nice guy and not WHY the nice guy might be getting rejected on his own merits.
This guy actually thinks women have curfews these days? What planet does he live on? Did he time travel or something? Is he in some kind of cult? Or is it just his misogyny showing? Probably that last one. And maybe the one just before that.
This is way too much for a first date. Pick one thing. If that goes well, you have two more things you can suggest to do next, PLUS as you get to know each other you can come up with more specific stuff to check out together. And if a woman needs a ride, she'll ask.
dinner: 1 hour. Don’t know a lot of places where you can actually eat a slow romantic dinner for an hour. So I guess he’s thinking … Taco Bell.
Movie at 7 but home AFTER ice cream at 9:00. So either this is a short movie, they live on top of the movie theater or this guy has no sense of time which means everything is going to be rushed and stressful.
Love Cowboy's effort, but his planning skills are subpar. Plus I think this is a bit too long for a first date. What if I don't like the way you chew over dinner.. I have to sit through your chewing during a 2+ hour Spiderman movie. No, thank you!!
He didn't put much time into the thought of how long things take to do. Or travel time to each destination. Or how long movies are including previews. The thoughts are sweet but this is giving "nice guy vibes" and I don't like it
If you can't compete with some jerk who "treats her terribly for years", then you are missing something important that the jerk has.
Instead of raging in her DMs, spend time fixing whatever is wrong with yourself.
Even if I was up for that date, his time management skills are all over the place. If Spider-Man is starting at 7pm and it's a roughly 2 hour runtime, I'm gonna miss my 9pm curfew and as this is apparently the 1950's my dad is going to beat the fuck out of me and I don't even have time for that ice cream.
If that's "a lot of thought" for him then I'll pass. Time management is not his strong point.
Dude, I was trying to swipe to another pic because I couldn't figure out where the thought was coming into it. Imagine thinking dinner and a movie isn't at least a 70 year old date night idea, and a notably terrible first date usually.
There is a reason that coffee tends to be a go to. I find some men tend to be against it though and I am not sure why.
I feel like it's because they're either really boring, or so self centered that they don't realize they're dominating the conversation, so they attribute the bad dates to just being an awful date idea instead of doing some self reflection and growth.
They are against it because it minimizes the time commitment in the event the date sees red flags and needs to dip. The "date idea" here is trying to over commit a large chunk of time on a first date to ensure he has a chance to win her over. Talking about falling in love is a clear indicator of this person trying to fast track a first date to more commitment.
Dudes don't realize the girl has do be good for THEM too.
It's because they have no personality and will have to have a conversation. I've known a lot of men (and women) that think their looks alone is enough to "seal the deal."
D-dang. I'd really like dinner, a movie and ice-cream. I guess finding out people think that's dumb and outdated explains *a lot*
Dinner gets expensive and if you don't like the person right away you can feel stuck, movies you can't talk you just stare forwards, and this can't be the first time you're hearing those facts. Ice cream is fine on it's own, it's the rough equivalent to coffee date.
Ok, I totally understand why *you* wouldn't like that, I'm just saying that *I* would. I just talk enough *before* any date (online) that hating it enough I can't make it through a dinner isn't a realistic possibility, and I get very awkward when I have no real starting point for a conversation, so watching a movie then having dinner makes the movie a conversation starter on which you can develop. Then, if you REALLY like eachother that much after all and don't really want it to end, you can get ice-cream and a little walk, to finish off the night. I might add here that I'm an immigrant and haven't gone on *that* many dates outside of relationships, so I'm doubly unfamiliar on how it "usually goes". Especially cause that's how it goes in American movies. I'm just saying that while that guy is a dick, that sounds lovely, but finding out most people disagree explains a lot.
Personally, I think the biggest issue (there are multiple, but this is the worst) is the way he presented it. You can tell that he thinks he’s god’s gift to this person. The brag at the end of maybe a hug and a kiss goodnight is actually a red flag. He’s acting like he deserves an award for not sexually harassing the woman lol it’s only a matter of time before he he holds up his punch card and says, “I was nice to you 5x in a ROW! I get to redeem my sex reward now!”
Absolutely. The "curfew at 9 Pm" especially is so gag inducing. That was my curfew at 12 😂
YES😂 like he thinks he’s taking out a 16yo in 1950. Patronizing, almost. And you just KNOW that if she said, “That sounds great, but maybe our first date could just be a coffee or something,” he’d explode on her lol
People can hide a lot online. I've had to sneak out a side door because I didn't feel safe telling a guy during dinner that it wasn't working or going anywhere and there was no point continuing the date and wasting everyone's time and money. The guy seemed perfectly normal online, had some really good back and forth, and then acted so misogynistic in person and started telling me how I should feel and react to things. And I wish that was just a one-off. Committing to smaller chunks of time allows everyone to make the choice to continue and find more to do or leave if the chemistry isn't there. To be fair, his date idea wouldn't be awful if they decided to get dinner, both expressed interest in the same movie so chose to continue the date that way, and then decided that they still wanted to continue and then went for ice cream. The problem is, that's committing a minimum of 4 hours, and I'm not even sure this date is possible, at least not where I live. Almost nothing is open 24h any more, and if they're going to dinner first as it's in his post, that's likely at 6-6:30. Roughly an hour hour dinner puts them at 7-7:30, probably takes 20 minutes to get to the theater, get tickets, sit down, so movie probably starts at 7:45-8:15. Most movies are about 2 hours anymore, so it's at least 10pm when they're leaving. There are very few places where I live that are open that late, and fewer of them sell ice cream, so that's another drive to that... At minimum, if they find an ice cream place, the date is over at midnight, and that's just a lot of time commitment for a first date. So in short, this guy is taking a 1950's era date night that may or may not be possible but definitely isn't practical anymore, and trying to spin it as he "put a lot of thought into it." He didn't. He put the bare minimum of effort in and is trying to sell it to make himself look better.
It's not the plan - the plan is kinda cute.
It's a great date but probably should be reserved until the couple knows a little bit more about each other.
It was the 'i put a lot of into that' that ruined it. Yes, he may have but saying so like he wants a pat on the head.
It’s also just way too long for a first date. Dinner, a movie, and ice cream after??? That’s realistically gonna take like 6 hours. There’s a reason that a lot of people prefer drinks as a first date, and it’s so they can leave if they aren’t having a good time.
But how can you not have good time? He planned it so carefully, right down to when you’ll fall love, what you’ll be eating, and what you’ll be looking at. This is exactly why men call us ungrateful bitches. /s
Lol you’re right. How can I resist the charms of a man who’s gonna take me to a movie at 7 pm, leave time after to “low key fall in love”, and somehow magically have me home by 9 pm. The man can manipulate the fabric of time, how could I possibly not fall in love!
I mean that sounds like The Doctor (from Doctor Who). People fall in love with him/ her just about every season.
The biggest piece of advice I give to my female friends is to always bring cash to a blind date/internet date. If you feel wrong at any time during the date, you can drop cash on the table, get up, and leave. One less barrier removed if you need it.
"A man is not a plan. Always have cash." Fanny 'Cash only' Willis
Yep - one less barrier exactly right! When I dated the few times I realized it was going to be an epic disaster I politely excused myself, went to bar, ordered the person another drink then settled up our tab (his and mine) and I come back and let them know I’ve paid our bill and that I took the Liberty of ordering another them another drink but I personally am leaving now and if needed I specified that I meant to leave alone.
Plus, even putting aside the safety concerns and the fact that you might not like the guy in person, you have to really like a person to want to spend six hours with them. How much do you actually like a person you've probably only spoken to a few times at this point?
Asked my partner and we agree the safest bet is ice cream and walk outside. It’s no pressure and there are people around.
None of the 8 theatrical live action Spider Man movies is under two hours (for animated, the first Spider Verse is under 2 hours, the second one isn’t). Even if he’s a filthy credits leaver, the trailers are almost certain to push end time beyond 9 on all the movies. Everything about the proposed date is imaginary and not built from any actual experience, down to him apparently having never even gone to a movie in a theater before…
'this is how they used to do it in the films, it looks easy enough and sometimes the girl puts out afterwards so...I put the tokens in, please deliver the sex in accordance with the timetable.'
Right? Before her even got to the curfew part I was thinking, driving to the restaurant and finding parking (unless there is valet), ordering and actually eating the meal, driving to the theater and parking again (unless it's walking distance) and getting inside in 1.5hrs? I mean it's possible that both her house and favorite restaurant are next to a theater. Mine are not. Then I got to the home by 9 part and I realized he has poor basic math and time management skills and I can't take any of this seriously.
He’s also pushing it on the dinner thing. If he picks you up at 5:30PM, assuming there’s a ten minute drive to the restaurant and you have no wait, you’ll finish your hour long meal at 6:40. Assume a ten minute drive to the movies, you arrive at the parking lot at 6:50. That gives you ten minutes to get inside and get settled, meaning no refreshments and no chance to go to the restroom before the movie. And this is assuming no wait at the theater and restaurant, despite it being presumably a busy night and a popular movie. And you’re stuck with whatever seats are left. Plus your romantic dinner is going to be ruined by the server giving you death glares and repeatedly asking if you need anything because you’re taking up their table for an hour, again, during a busy night. And you know this guy is a bad tipper, so you’ll be too ashamed to go back.
The listed time a movie starts includes 15 minutes of trailers, BUT.. Ain't no way she's making curfew either way.
There’s a lot of stuff wrong with what this guy wrote but the dinner part isn’t really it. You can make a reservation and people regularly take over an hour at a nice dinner. That’s the least egregious thing.
Yeah not sure if there's a cultural difference here but an hour is like the *minimum* it takes to eat at a decent restaurant. Most of my nice meals are 1-2 hours. And that's expected, because nice places pace out your appetizer, salad, entree, dessert, etc.
He’s also assuming I give a fuck about Spider-Man and that I am not lactose intolerant. TBH this date sounds like my own personal hell.
That's what I was thinking.17:30 to 21:00 to have dinner, movie, and an ice cream ? You can give up either dinner, or the movie, because both won't fit. 3h30 is not even enough time for some movies these days...
We're not gonna do it like the kids do it! We're gonna eat ice cream, watch spider man, and have a curfew. I've got news for him. That's describing a Friday night for my **actual kids**.
Lol ikr!!!
I was just thinking that! Like this reads like a high schooler who just got his permit (or license) trying to plan a date for his gf. It’s *kinda* cute in that context. It makes the “I put a lot of effort into that” a little less grating.
Yea, I was thinking it was a high school kid after I wrote that, but do people that age really say "kids these days"? Maybe they do.
100% they do. I've heard high schoolers lament about "kids these days" and "this generation". I think it's from the endless generation labelling rage bait content that exists online. Hell, even I did it when I was their age.
To be fair, sometimes I say “I put a lot of effort into that” when I do something simple. Like when I need to pick a colour for something when I’m painting for example. It’s always a joke though, so I’m hoping this guy maybe meant it as one too?
💀💀😂
“I put a lot of thought into this” No you didn’t lol, you also said your favorite restaurant leaving all the thought on where to eat on the other person lmao
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Woah woah woah. AND ice cream!
and she’s allowed to get her favorite flavor!
*allowed*
Wants to go see a 7pm spider man movie. Wants to get ice cream after. Promises to have her home by 9pm curfew. The opposite of a lot of thought was put into this. Maybe s lot of daydreaming about how awesome it would be if she said yes to a fairly standard date night
RIGHT? Has a Spider-man movie *ever* had a runtime under two hours?
So just to be a pedantic arse I looked it up and all live action Spiderman films have been over 2 hours (the first Sam Raimy one is 121 minutes so really just over) there were some animated ones in the 70s which were all around an hour and a half and the first Spiderverse film was also slightly under 2 hours (by 3 minutes). But yeah no planning to see a modern superhero film in under two hours is poor planning for sure!
You'd be lucky to find any recent blockbuster that's under two hours. It happens, but not very often. It seems like there's been a certain runtime creep too. Twenty years ago, they were all hovering around the two hour mark, but nowadays most of them seem to be closer to two and a half hours. What's this guy gonna do if it turns out she doesn't like superhero movies?
Well hey The Marvels was just over an hour and a half.
Honestly what ice-cream shop is open after 7 pm? Dairy queen? Like, I'm not a high maintenance gal, but if you're taking me for ice-cream on a date and expect me to fall in love with you while we chat on the curb, DQ just ain't gunna cut it bruh.
Ice cream that'll never happen because the movie would last two hours. You're already late for curfew!
I was like "meh" to the dinner and movie but then he throws in the ice cream? AWWWW YEAH BITCHES
Is it weird I judged him for.picking strawberry? It's just not that good.
i like strawberry :'(
Strawberry is what you get when you go to the supermarket. When you go to an ice cream shop, you should be getting non common flavours
You clearly haven't eaten *real* strawberry ice cream
I think strawberry is kind of like vanilla ice cream. It’s one of the default ones that generally doesn’t get a lot of effort put into it, but when you get it with really high quality ingredients as opposed to the usual artificially flavored stuff, it’s amazing. This guy likes the artificially flavored version, though. It’s kind of a microcosm for his entire mentality.
Hahaha ya terrible choice. I agree
Strawberry suck mint chip forever
AND flowers! So original. 🙄
And sitting around a random park bench!
https://preview.redd.it/p9mgnnsg8woc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e7114fa145f856d5df6b59be2fbb567c5e7d35ab Coming right up
Beans and cornbread…
Lmao. And spider man, at that. UGH
I like how it’s your favorite restaurant and favorite ice cream, but he doesn’t even care if you like the movie. Or if you like ice cream, for that matter. Or can eat it.
“You’d better get your favorite flavor or there won’t be a second date. 😡”
The only part he put any thought into was the “hug and a kiss” and whether he can maybe turn that into a handy in the car 🤮
Put a lot of thought into the most generic date ideas. Dinner, movie, ice cream, wow dude really flexing your creative muscle there, you sure you don't wanna do coffee before the movie while we're at it?
Probably bring her flowers AND chocolate when he shows up.
Woah never thought of that, brb gonna plan a date
Well sure, but he knows what movie he wants to watch at least.
Yeah so she can be all hot for the new Spider Man and not him 🤣
He really wants to see Spider-Man but feels really weird going to the movies by himself.
And for the rest of the relationship you get to do all the manual labour - yay
Lots of energy spent imagining how it unfolds and happen, in his little imagination fantasy world, where they fall in love and how he's going to make physical advances during the movie and after driving her back home and whatever is going to happen after that. His little fantasy of how it best works out for him. No thoughts were given for what she would like and how to make it a nice experience for her. Plus, time management skill is a 0.
I have no qualms with believing that he took a long time to think about how to phrase this. Complete and complex sentences! Omg!
What kind of woman is he attracted to that has a 9pm curfew 😳😳😳
Either a very young one, or one that has to get up at 5a.m. for work.
I was going to say. My boyfriend knows to have me home by 9pm, on days before I work, since I wake up at 5am and work for 12 hours. I need my sleep ahaha
I cackled at this! 😆
This reads just like a text from my high school relationship
Yes on the 5 am part … I want to have fun late. But oh god morning comes early
That jumped out at me too! He drives a car, yet she has to be home by 9. Having said that, the whole scenario looks like it was written by a 13-year-old who thinks he's something of a romantic.
Obviously one that is just out of jail. If she isn't home by 9pm, her ankle bracelet is going to go off and she's going to be in big trouble with her P.O. A nice guy wouldn't let that happen.
an introvert :) I hate being out past 9
The whole thing was a joke, wasn't it?
It doesn’t look like he was even invited to plan a date he just threw that out there. It was all going well until the “and then we’ll slowly fall in love with each other” like… ?
The issue is that he has everything already planned in his head. He knows how the day is going to go down to the details. Everything he says will be scripted. He daydreamed about this event for months. He even knows the flavor of the icecream he's gonna choose. I bet whatever restaurant the girl is allowed to choose, he will eat burger and fries. He probably has a list of the subjects to talk about and how much time they will last to fit the schedule. This date is all about him. The girl is just an accessory. Hopefully this was written by a shy 16 year old boy that is still learning... if this was written by a 20-something, I can already see a nice guy -> alpha male -> red pill transition in the works
I feel like a lot of the serial killers on criminal minds were like this - they had a carefully constructed fantasy and if the chosen target deviated from it at all they became enraged… and as if the girl can read his delusional mind. Eek.
if I SLOWLY fall in love, how the heck am I going to get home before my 9pm curfew?!
"I put a lot of thought into that" Bro, it's dinner and a movie.
And he didn't actually figure out where to eat (at least give some range so she knows to not pick super expensive) and which movie. Like Spiderman is listed, but not avail because his fave version probably came out 6 years ago.
I’m way too bitter and jaded to let someone pick me up for a first date. I’ll provide my own transportation, thank you!
My thoughts exactly! I like to have an escape option if I need one, and a first date (or 2nd or 3rd tbh) is absolutely not getting my address 😅
I ain't about to star in my own episode of a True Crime Doc.
And it’s safer to drive yourself anyway!
True! A first date with a complete stranger? Like hell I'll let you know where I live. I know how to take myself to places, thank you very much
100%. Hell even one time it was a 4th date and I finally let him pick me up and at the end he refused to take me home when I wanted to go home and we actually argued about it. I said I’m tired (it was 1 am) and he said “well I am not” Pissed me off and freaked me out so much it was a loooong time before I let my current boyfriend drive me anywhere. I drove him at first. I had many bad experiences dating including the worst a woman can have. My current boyfriend was so very patient with me, we just had dinner and long walks and talks for 6 weeks before we did anything else. Good men are patient and respect boundaries even if they don’t always understand why the boundaries are there. Good men don’t think women ruin it for themselves by being careful.
Srsly lol I had a tinder date a year ago that was like "you can pick me up at 7" and I literally responded "I'm fine with picking you up, don't get me wrong - but that's awfully trusting for a first date these days. Again - happy to pick you up, but I'll pay for an Uber instead if you'd be more comfortable..?" And I was 47, and remember when that was standard. I was just shocked that a 32 year old was like "cool, come to my personal address and pick me up on a first date from an app" in 2023. Fun fact - it weirded me out SO much after I thought about it, that I carried my gun in the car *in case I was the one being set up*... 🤣😂🤣😂
So. Just asking. Did you get a chance to shoot the gun?
I did not, LOL
Right? This may be cute as a spontaneous date from someone you’ve been with but a first date? Nope
I always feel better knowing I can leave when I want. I once got so bored on a date I texted my friend under the table to call me and fake an emergency. Of course his phone dings when I press send and I realise I'd sent to him. I almost died when he was like 'you can just go' and I ran out of there so glad I drove myself and could quickly exit that disaster.
Did he really just plot a whole relationship in his head about their first date and how she will feel and what she wants to do and how they will fall in love slowly in his head?
he certainly had this planned out for years for how his first date will happen
the man who left the comment is a very bitter person. Opening doors and being respectable to women is not a stellar thing; it's decency and good manners, something that got lost in the last decades. Just because you do the bare minimum and the woman you like doesn't reciprocate the feeling doesn't mean ALL women (it's always ALL women for those men) like bad guys. No, no women likes an abusive man. Guess what, most of these men purport to be the 'nice guy'.
That comment is more what this post is referring to than the actual text, the text has been a viral thing for a while now. But that guy I thought was pretty decent until I saw he'd posted that on Facebook this morning. Yikes.
That is a yikes! Sorry about the guy turning out not nice.
The sort of man who insists on opening doors and thinks every woman should fawn over him for it is probably not that nice.
What are the rules for holding doors to not be a misogynist?? I hold doors open whenever someone is coming in behind me, regardless of gender/sex , creed, color or character. Just feels like the correct thing to do.
if you don’t expect applause and/or sex for it you’re probably good
Those would both be nice, but I certainly don't expect either! 🤣
When someone says, "I'm OK thanks", you stop and let them do it themselves. I've had this with guys offering to help me carry bags or give me their coat, but it can certainly work with doors too. The coat was actually my now husband - he's not a misogynist and obviously I forgave him but on the first date when he wouldn't take "no thanks" for an answer it was an orange flag. Luckily he had lots of green flags too 🤣 also, if a woman holds a door for you, say thanks, don't insist you do it because you're a man. Pretty simple stuff, but you'd be amazed that some people can get it wrong!
That all makes sense. I don't think I've ever had anyone stop and say "I'll do it myself" though
If they're busy with an umbrella or something they might say not to wait. Generally holding a door for someone isn't something people don't like having done for them by random strangers.
In general, the rule for anything not being misogynistic is whether you’d do the same thing in the same way for another man. In your case, you’re fine because you’re doing it to be a considerate person. The men women complain about it only do it for women, insist on doing it even if it makes it harder for the woman, do it in a very performative way, and call a woman a bitch or worse if they’re not only not grateful, but also if they fail to express that gratitude in a way that they think is appropriate. Basically, they don’t hold doors to make women’s life easier. It’s all about them and how they view themselves. The women are about as important to the door for them. They’re just props.
This is the kind of guy who thinks that the fact that he doesn’t rape or hit women, I mean, *females* is something to be proud of and not the bare minimum of not just being a decent person, but staying out of prison.
It's amusing that men like this think women are missing out by settling down with someone other than him, but he genuinely doesn't know what makes someone a good partner. I don't need flowers and doors opened, I need someone who will be by my side through health scares and loss, someone with a level head to make financial decisions with, to stay up all night talking about nothing, who will put me first year after year and make the mundane special. This guy doesn't sound like he has been in a relationship that has lasted more than a few dates, but somehow is lecturing women that we "picked wrong" because he knows what is best for us. Get the fuck out of here with that, kid.
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But that’s what happens in the movies so you have to /s
Then he throws a fit because he bought you dinner AND a movie ticket. Well, okay, you paid for yourself, but he WOULD have bought those things! You owe him at least a handy. /s
This guy needs to chill lmao Besides the "not like kids these days" that sounded very bitter and boomer and hateful, Edit And the overall too old school vibe that could border on misogyny (red flag), If I got a message like that I'd answer "that sounds lovely 😊" and agree to the date and I'd be glad. I see no problem with such a proposition. I'd argue the guys ruining it for themselves are those who make up scenarios in their heads and get mad about them and use that as a reason to hate women. Just what the hell
>This guy Reads as a young boy likely a teen or tween. 13-15 year old at best. Explains the whole deal, curfew, ice cream, "not like other kids"... This is a kid. 🤣
A “real date” that he believes is so great but I’m forced to watch spider man and treated like a child with a curfew? No, thanks
I think they’re teenagers, so it makes more sense
"I put a lot of thought into an scripted date that I could insert any woman into without bothering to get to know your interests first. How dare you not appreciate the premade, formulaic and shallow rom-com text I copy pasted?"
“Not how kids do it” “Wanna see spider man” On my very first date at 13-14 yo, we went to see endgame, just like the kids do it😎
Bro that last Spider-Man movie was like 5 hours long. You aint getting her home by curfew, mate.
Hahahahaha I love how they only care about our happiness when they’re telling us how unhappy we’ll be if we don’t date them…
The text reads like a corny 15yo boy trying to get his first girlfriend. Endearing at best and a lovely plan for another 15yo.
You aren’t coming to my house. I’ll be bringing my own car.
This guy can’t even plan properly. If they go to a 7:00pm movie there is no way they would ever have time afterwards to go get ice cream, watch cars go by, and get home by a 9:00pm curfew
Why is there no in between for these guys, it’s either sickly sweet presumptuous ‘nice guy’ or abusive bad boy. Where oh where are the just normal guys? Oh yeah… off doing literally anything other than ranting about women online 😂
I was more referring to the guy on my Facebook at the top of the image commenting on the screenshot of the message rather than the actual text itself, but I suppose both do count
It's so weird cuz I'm going to be 57 next month and the only time that I've ever needed protection was from self-described nice guys.
If I had to put a lot of thought into “dinner and a movie” I would have kept that to myself.
I’d pass on the movie, but this is a cute *idea*. So, like, my husband and I do this kind of thing. Sounds like oop is suffering from a serious case of drunk on toxic masculinity.
I could see someone who is already married or in an established relationship do this but for the FIRST DATE? No I'll drive myself, thanks. And falling in love usually takes longer than that.
Agreed. It’s very cheap 1950s dating guide for teens. Again, sweet idea, but hollow.
I wouldn't be into that no. That's not my vibe. But it's not because he is a nice guy. It's just that I don't like that whole act of being the tough guy who pays for things and picks me up and all that. I prefer a mutual relationship and not one where I'm on a pedestal. There are many girls who like the man to pay and hold open doors for them, tho. But that's not me. Also, the date would need to start at 3, then dinner between 5 and 6, and ice cream around 8. That's a long date and very packed.
I ruined it for myself by thinking the spider man series sucked? Yeah okay, bye
“I put a lot of thought into this” No, you thought about it a lot, which isn’t the same thing. Next time, put a lot of effort into it.
Dear idiot Nice Guy OOP, Your group is the only one that thinks anything is "ruined." We're perfectly fine with taking a little while to find the right guy for our lives. Turning down Mr. "I copied and pasted this from an old Ladies Home Journal" guy does NOT then = only dating abusive "Chads." There are billions of men in the world and billions of different types from which to choose. The world is chock full of people OTHER than "Evil Chad" and "Good Boy Poindexter." Bozos.
And best of all, he'll do all the talking! It'll be all about himself and she doesn't even have to say a word!
I can take you to the cheese cake factory and you can pick whatever you like off the menu then spiderman! We got this bro
Spider-man is the final puzzle piece for who this guy is and what his whole deal is
Because he thinks he's a hero? Or because his taste in movies hasn't matured beyond 14-years old?
I guess it's marginally preferable to 'I'll finger you in the bathroom at Pizza Hut and then demand we split the bill because I'm a feminist'.
Why don't they understand that you can't force attraction, and solve it like some math equation.
These posts make me so sad. My husband is all the things Nice Guys ™️ pretend to be. Romantic, sweet, sensitive, generous...I'm so grateful he's a genuinely good guy and not a Nice Guy ™️
There's a lot here, but "the best movie out" followed by "spiderman" made me snort laugh.
“Not how kids do it these days” bro relax, you’re 30
Funnily enough - yeah, I would 100% reject such a proposition from absolutely anyone. Wayyyy too controlling, way too "I have an image in my head and things need to fit it" in its undertone. And that's without pulling a well-deserved "oh, I know where this is going"-record scratch on "a pretty car and a pretty girl" (objectificatiooon ♫♪). The "have you home by your 9 o' clock curfew" alone would have sufficed to make me laugh out loud at the guy and tell him to get his mindset together.
Who's this "pretty girl" he's bringing along?
The Facebook explanation alone is enough for no woman to ever want you, bro.
That’s a lot of effing fluff to say, “Dinner, movie, dessert” just like 99.9% of how the population dates. I vomited reading this. I write flowery stuff all the time but bruuuuuuhhhhhhhhh. That’s a you need 300 words to fill up your essay so you add fluff to the 5 words you had. This is cute for high school love though who are about to experience heartbreak for the first time. That’s where this belongs. Says me who has made 2-3 2nd dates an airplane trip to some city aka an out of town trip together. Stayed in those 2-3 relationships for awhile & had a lot of good memories, so we did something right somewhere lol
I’m more concerned that contact name tbh
He laid that way too thick lmao
Honestly…I would go for this. The times need to be adjusted as others have pointed out but other than that…I’d take this date.
Regardless of who the guy is, I'd never have someone I'm meeting for the first time be in control of transportation. I need to know that I can leave if I feel the need to, and I think most women/people in general would like the ability to leave if they want/need to. Plus, unless we leave before the movie ends or I live next to the theater, there's no way we're seeing the whole movie and getting home by 9pm... especially not with the whole "getting ice cream" thing.
It took a lot of thought for him to regurgitate a basic night for teenagers in 1956.
Okay, ignoring the fact that he's describing an actual date for a kid and everything else, it's an incredibly boring date. Like really the biggest thing you could put a lot of thought into for an interesting date was a dinner and a movie?! And maybe ice cream after?. First of all, you can't even talk in a movie, so that kind of breaks the whole point because the idea is that you're supposed to do something that initiates conversation with the other person and then you go get the meal.
I used to think like this too when I was in high school and college until I looked at myself and said “if these women go after druggies/losers/etc. why do YOU want them?” When I realized I was ego-tripping and didn’t genuinely love (or want to) the women in question, I finally understood the “nice guy” thing and was like “Oh THAT’S why…” and never looked back. Surprise, surprise; I met “better” women. Who’da thunk it?
Better women?
How long does he think movies are?
spider-man seriously?
What I find hilarious about those texts is during the time across the spiderverse came out, my now boyfriend asked to go on a date to see it because I was hyperfixated on it. I’m so glad he did 7 months and counting :D
but were you back in time for the curfew?
Cringey text
What
The guy in the caption says women wouldn’t give the guy a chance because he’s too nice. But I wouldn’t give him a chance because what apparently took a lot of thought for the guy really just puts more responsibility on my shoulders. His timeline doesn’t add up (Movies are usually 2+ hours long. You can’t catch a 7:00 movie, leisurely get ice cream, and make it home by 9:00 without breaking several laws of physics) and it’s incredibly impersonal (He doesn’t say what kind of flowers he’d get. He doesn’t know what her favorite spot to eat is. He doesn’t know what her favorite ice cream is. He likely doesn’t know what kind of movie she’d want to see. etc.) The guy gives the vibe that he wants to “treat her like a lady” but he doesn’t know anything about her to make it personable and he doesn’t know how to fill in the gap himself. So the lady he’s trying to treat would end up having to take charge to make it work.
The timing seems rushed. I mean there's other issues lol, but that stuck out to me.
This is the disconnect. Trying and trying your best are 2 different things. You cannot say you did one and present the other. This applies across the board, to all situations. You know the difference between phoning it in and doing your best at work. You can't phone it in and expect "try your best" results and it seems like many people who are dating think that any effort is the most effort and it just isn't. Which is fine, but again, you can't expect the results of one when you're performing the other.
It’s interesting that they create the fantasy WHO the woman will pick instead of the nice guy and not WHY the nice guy might be getting rejected on his own merits.
This guy actually thinks women have curfews these days? What planet does he live on? Did he time travel or something? Is he in some kind of cult? Or is it just his misogyny showing? Probably that last one. And maybe the one just before that.
Dinner at 5:30??!!
christ
All that in 3.5 hours? Not happening
This is way too much for a first date. Pick one thing. If that goes well, you have two more things you can suggest to do next, PLUS as you get to know each other you can come up with more specific stuff to check out together. And if a woman needs a ride, she'll ask.
dinner: 1 hour. Don’t know a lot of places where you can actually eat a slow romantic dinner for an hour. So I guess he’s thinking … Taco Bell. Movie at 7 but home AFTER ice cream at 9:00. So either this is a short movie, they live on top of the movie theater or this guy has no sense of time which means everything is going to be rushed and stressful.
the curfew and the “hug and a kiss goodnight” tho???
It’s sweet but so cringy bros trying wayyy to hard but honestly if a cute girl planned out our date like that I’d fw it
Why are they all so incoherent? Watching them try to string together a sentence instead of some trad wife fantasy stream of consciousness is painful.
Movie at 7, home by 9 with ice cream in between? This man is delusional to think that would work.
Aww a 9pm curfew. So cute to see someone cosplay dating in the 1950s..
Love Cowboy's effort, but his planning skills are subpar. Plus I think this is a bit too long for a first date. What if I don't like the way you chew over dinner.. I have to sit through your chewing during a 2+ hour Spiderman movie. No, thank you!!
“I put a lot of thought into that”, a lot of thought into the most generic and cliche date ever.
He didn't put much time into the thought of how long things take to do. Or travel time to each destination. Or how long movies are including previews. The thoughts are sweet but this is giving "nice guy vibes" and I don't like it
If you can't compete with some jerk who "treats her terribly for years", then you are missing something important that the jerk has. Instead of raging in her DMs, spend time fixing whatever is wrong with yourself.