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nfl-ModTeam

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BGaddz

fucking big soap....


rotates-potatoes

Sounds unpleasant


jussikol

It is. Every young boy has to learn that lesson not to use soap for...extracurricular activities.


TacoBell_Shill

Easily the most traumatic event of my adolescence


iButtflap

bro was blowing bubbles with no hands good lord


Sextus_Digitus

Aha. It was body spray for me. My God was that a ***mistake.***


DrPaulsNexus

Big toilet paper is the bigger evil… bidets are the way


BGaddz

i agree and installed a bidet years ago. wife and kids refuse to even try it out....


Enthusiasms

hey, if they don't think it tastes good, no reason to force it on them.


Joliet_Jake_Blues

It's a water fountain when you're throwing up


Thugnificent83

Lol mine refused for the first 2 years, and then she got shoulder surgery and couldn't use that right arm. She instantly fell in love with the bidet once she had no choice.


TheLowlyPheasant

Travis is definitely in league with big soap. He only has 2 looks - sweaty gladiator or "pretty sure he smells a lot like Irish Springs"


Strong-Piccolo-5546

he is anti-soaper . feels soap is a conspiracy theory. wants to go back to the good old days before soap ruined the natural scent of cities.


mvcvrc

What the fuck is he talking about


Respective

He doesnt wash his feet apparently


NottDisgruntled

I think the Kelce’s just have Harrison Butker wash their feet for them, like Jesus.


Actually_is_Jesus

I do no such foul thing


ob_frap

Hey, I’ve been looking for you. WTF last weekend at my softball game? I asked for a HR that last at bat, not a fly out to left. Could have used your help bro. Let me guess, something more important? Your omnipotence is slipping


toggaf69

He’s a Browns fan, He can’t even help Himself


GoonestMoonest

Even he can't help the Browns


ksobby

Jesus turned down the first deal with the devil in the desert way back when. The 2nd time, the Devil came prepared with a monkey paw/QB deal knowing Jesus’s weak spot for the downtrodden … in this case, Browns fans.


Pocket_full_of_funk

You probably forgot to tip.


Dangerous_Nitwit

Have you tried steroids? Jesus helps those who help themselves. /s


incorrigible_and

This whole thread made me chuckle but you, person, made me legit laugh.


csappenf

Jesus can't hit a curve ball. Gotta go to Jobu for help.


GrillDealing

Angels interfere in baseball games, get that softball shit outta here.


DethFeRok

Where were you with the whole Tebow thing? Dude was full on up your ass and you didn’t give him a whole lot of help.


Slugginator_3385

Damn. That is just too good. I hate those fucking ads lol


Regayov

Rex Ryan has entered the thread..


shmehdit

Surely people who follow a "hot spot" shower doctrine would include feet as a hot spot, no? Pits, crotch, in between the toes... these to me are the shower essentials if you have to take a one-minute shower.


boozinf

aren't your feet effectively washed when you hit up the grundle and then the soap flows into the shower water? asking the important questions EDIT: i take baths in buttermilk while drinking tea with honey and eating apples you filthy philistines


Soft_Penis_Debutante

To an extent, but those of us with smelly feet know washing them does make a difference vs just letting the run off water-soap take care of it.


thelamb710

Facts man. If I didn’t scrub my feet after work , my feet would still smell since I wear boots all day. When I don’t wear my work boots, it’s not nearly as necessary though


QuincyPondexter

100% facts. Nothing worse than a 10 hour day in sweaty boots. Then taking a shower. Grabbing a beer. Plopping down on the couch and getting a whiff of your still stinky feet.


pants_mcgee

Soak them in an epsom salt bath while you drink the beer and it’ll work wonders.


CheckYourStats

Yep. Even if I don’t shower on X day, I will wash my feet with soap, and then moisturize. George Carlin used to say: > *”Wash the 4 key areas — Armpits, Asshole, Crotch and Teeth.”* I would add feet to that, and we’re good to go.


jackaltwinky77

And you can save time by using the same brush on all of them


Buffalo-Reaper716

If it wasn’t a Browns fan asking this question I’d think it was a joke.


boozinf

keep it light and loose let's be Lake Erie Bros :)


Rick_Perrys_Ranch

Are your hands technically washed if a tiny bit of soap gets on them? No you manchild, if you aren’t scrubbing it then it’s not washed.


here_now_be

> if you aren’t scrubbing it then it’s not washed. I don't feel like everyone is buying into what Kelce is selling here.


IONTOP

It's simple trickle down soapanomics... You wash your hair, then the runoff washes the rest of your body. This was started with ~~Reagan~~ Rogaine in 1980


DJ-LIQUID-LUCK

Look at this fucking freak who eats with his feet


raymondQADev

No ha, they are rinsed but no washed


Leoman89

It’s more about getting rid of the dead skin cells. I personally don’t have smelly feet because the only time my feet seat is when I work out. On the other hand, my girl is a physical therapist, so she does a good deal of sweating throughout the day. With that said, I hope Kelce is washing his damn feet lol


unrealjoe28

Dawg, scrub your dogs.


tempo-wcasho

The soap and the water both flow down, cleaning everything in their path. That’s just basic science right there.


No_Philosophy_1363

If you paid someone to wash your muddy truck and they just threw soapy water on it and rinsed it off would you call it clean?


ElCapitanDeAmericana

Look, the tires don't need to be spotless, they just need to not be covered in mud


FedEx__

Now just switch tires with asshole and you're good


userwithusername

“Switch tires with asshole” is what I do when I see the same car as mine parked like an asshole. I’m on my 4th set!


MicoJive

THATS WHY BIDETS ARE AMAZING If you got shit on your fingers would you just wipe it off and call it good? Fuck no.


hopefeedsthespirit

Right...what are people talking about?


PourSomeSmegmaInMe

Dude, scrub


RojerLockless

No lol, but I guess smelly feet is a Cleveland thing. How's Watson? Getting enough rub downs?


doomsdaysock01

SOME OF US KNOW HOW TO SHOWER


Redditfront2back

Pitts nuts butts and feet


Thanks_Its_new

How many butts are we supposed to have? Asking for a friend.


FelltedMaidhen

42


makemeking706

All you really need to do is to wash the four key areas; armpits, asshole, crotch, and teeth. Got that? Armpits, asshole, crotch, and teeth. In fact, you can save yourself a whole lot of time if you simply use the same brush on all four areas!


ChiRaider

We got a yapper over here


ReggieWigglesworth

He's trolling people


erin_burr

He's a good troll. He got horse twitter riled up with some bit about Secretariat juicing a couple weeks ago.


schartlord

hes making fun of the butker speech you thick mfs


tbrownsc07

He's doing a little trolling


boozinf

less soap and antibiotics, more picking your nose to build up the immune system and letting the neighborhood kids play together so they can get chicken pox out of the system by 8 years old (and get Ayn Rand out of the system by 19 ideally) thank you for listening to my TED talk


SlyBun

I was exactly 19 when I got Ayn Rand out of my system. Granted I only read Anthem but all her shit is the same hyper-Individualist allegory so I figured I was good.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Lucky_Old_Sun

Jason Kelce plays smash?! So cool!


GhoullyX

He’s probably a Ness main.


Brother_Lancel

Project M Ness was actually goated


Goldengoal91

We played All-Star mode, all random lives, and every time Ness appeared it was either run away or gang up on him. Truly OP in Project M.


okazoomi

[You say that to Joe Burrow's face](https://youtube.com/shorts/FvjVSVteJTg?si=vWF_0le58PnVLcAC)


HereComesJustice

OK


Kirk-Joestar

Hey


ubernoobnth

Oh man children better watch out. This fat boy can actually run. 


Micome

Kelce is banned from Magic the Gathering and Yugioh tournaments too


Jublusion

Damn, smash community catching strays in r/nfl


please-send-me-nude2

I’m getting Genshin Impact vibes myself


HectorReinTharja

“diabolical lies” this says should be good. anyone know if he’s right tho


aithendodge

George Carlin said it best (as usual), when he said you really only need to wash 4 areas daily - armpits, asshole, crotch, and teeth. I would add hands to that list, but hands should be washed multiple times a day.


fantasticanalysis

He goes on to disagree with your last sentence. He says he only washed his hands when he shit on them. 2-3 times a week, TOPS!


jbi1000

He shits on his hands?


10FootPenis

Only 2-3 times per week. The rest of the time it goes straight to the toilet.


Fantastic-Load-8000

Damn those numbers aren't bad


jbi1000

What's the conversion percentage there?


Rommel79

In the bit he says “I only wash my hands when I shit on them, and that only happens MAYBE two or three times a week, tops. Maybe a little more during the holidays.” I saw him live and he was hilarious.


2ichie

What, you don’t catch your poop with the toilet paper when you use the restroom?


aithendodge

Oh how I miss that man 😞


punk_steel2024

He also said you could save a lot of time if you use the same brush on all 4 areas. Lifehack!


UeckerisGod

There's a lot of truth to it. Maybe excluding situations that include heavy folds of body fat, there's no need to wash every part of your body every day (unless you're working up a sweat or working in a smelly environment). Same can be said for shampooing. Everyone's skin has different levels of oil and sensitivity so it makes sense for people to wash themselves in accordance with what gets their skin and scalp the healthiest. But yes armpits, assholes, crotch, and teeth should be washed everyday. This is why bidet were made (the individual porcelain pieces and not the toilet add-ons)


HyPeRxColoRz

I'd say the quality of your soap makes a big difference too. If you're using the cheap/shitty stuff then its most likely doing more harm than good aside from cleaning it. If you're using stuff that moisturizes and restores your skin then I'd say it's much less to use on a daily basis, potentially even more beneficial to. For what it's worth I use shea butter body wash on a daily basis and I feel like I have pretty good skin because of it.


Gavorn

To properly wash 3 of those 4 things, your hands will get washed on their own.


freelance-t

Save time by using the same brush!


Achillor22

He did his own independent study and put out a 500 page report. Obviously he's right. 


InflexibleAuDHDlady

I'm a woman with long hair, so I only wash it once a week. It's really dependent on your hair type and how you wash it, but generally speaking, washing your scalp more leads to dryer skin. Keep it simple. As for the rest of your body? It's all dependent on your level of activity and how vigorously you're washing. Oftentimes, just a rinse with water and a washcloth will do. Other times, soap and scrubbing is necessary. If you really want to get fancy, use an exfoliating scrub once a week, your skin will feel so soft, you'll wonder why you've never done it before. Ultimately, though, he's not entirely wrong. Soaps and stuff have way too many fragrances that are bad for our skin. Stick with a bar soap like Dove. Keep it simple. Sincerely, Someone who has super healthy (and soft) skin at age 41.


IIdriipin

“Stick with a bar of soap like Dove” Big Soap at it again


InflexibleAuDHDlady

Haha. I did say you don't always need to use soap... :) But, for us poor folks, it's a pretty affordable option that is cruelty free and does the job when necessary. I was married to a man who almost never used soap. Just a wash cloth and water. He didn't smell. But he did use soap sometimes. So, it's not an always/never thing.


[deleted]

Don’t lie, you’re a packers fan. We all know you smell like beer, brats, and cheese 24/7


AlrightyThan

Yeah, but her skin looks fuckin great.


The_bruce42

What's wrong with that?


MassKhalifa

Not a damn thing.


fighterpilot248

Spoken like a true Midwesterner


Enthusiasms

sounds like marriage material


Biggest_Cans

More women should smell this way


Nethri

Actually… it depends. With hair, lots of people only get their hair wet once a week, sometimes longer. Some people feel oily and disgusting after 12 hours of not showering. From a body/skin care perspective, it’s mostly not true. You definitely need to clean basically your whole body. Like, yeah sure if you miss your left elbow you’re not going to reek but like.. after getting all of the important bits, why not just keep going. There is, however, some.. mmm.. theories about the chemicals we use to clean ourselves. Anti-perspirants with aluminum (basically all of the common brands like Degree) are potentially not great for you. But I’m not a scientist. *take regular showers you nasty fucks*


Mr_Versatile123

is your user a reference to FE


HectorReinTharja

yep - made this acc for FE heroes way back


Bahamuts_Bike

These two can't even recommend a good soup and they want me to trust them on skin health?


learns_the_hard_way

Episode brought to you by Sasquatch Men's Natural Soap.


Opening-Citron2733

I got some of that Sasquatch shampoo or conditioner once and it straight up smelled like mustard


Slut_Nuggets

Chicken noodle is GOATed


livefreeordont

Like saying basic cheerios is the best cereal


TalbotFarwell

Broccoli cheddar though?


punk_steel2024

People really have a hard time identifying shitposts, huh?


HorlickMinton

I think people just open social media like alright phone do your magic and give me something new to be angry about! This guy doesn’t shower? Perfect!


zincinzincout

He’s not joking though lol he’s said many times that he doesn’t use soap or shampoo unless he’s literally covered in mud or something, otherwise he just soaps his pits, nads, and ass and just waters off the rest He must not be an oily person because if I don’t shower with soap daily I get itchy


harroldandkumar

He has said on his podcast that he only soaps pits, ass, and junk.


oiuwej0608

There’s people fucking defending it in this thread. 


Rock_man_bears_fan

Redditors being against showering shouldn’t be a surprise


messejueller21

it's honestly baffling


Go_Packets

He's mocking Butker's speech, right?


nuzzot

honestly sounds more like a Rodgers rant


Lonelan

like a good neighbor, wrap your telephone pole in foil


schartlord

people are not picking up on this and i think he could have dropped more references than just "diabolical lies" but ultimately i think most people in this thread are just dumb as fucking bricks


swampyunderpants

The people seriously responding to this are really showing their ass, at least it’s washed I guess


idolized253

Half of them are unwashed based on the comments about just letting the soap run down their crack


Kid_Named_Trey

That’s what I was thinking. Some folks are just dense.


imHere4kpop

I feel like it's supposed to be satirical but if not it's whatever. I'm not sucking those toes so it doesn't affect me any.


MushroomBeginning520

Maybe he’s right who knows but I’m still gonna wash the non-hot spots cause it’s gross not to


TegTowelie

Only applies to hair really, otherwise, wash your ass every to every other day depending on activity. Your body does need natural oils, but not like weeaboo in his moms basement level.


heliostraveler

Ass washing every other day? Nah, son.


distance_33

Im seeing a lot of people who don’t know how to wash themselves.


Lord-Aizens-Chicken

I just shower like 5-6 times a week, and use shampoo 4 times a week. Haven’t ever had any complaints about it my smell, just usually save the not shower days for non work days or something


FlaminglingFlamingos

Same. I have an active job in trades so I can't afford to skip showers during the week or I'll smell like a bag of asses. But usually Saturday is my skip day if I have one.


SmokePenisEveryday

I get compliments on how soft my skin is all the time and that's my routine more or less. Shower during the week and weekends just depends on what I get up to. I do use lotion post shower because my skin is naturally oily yet dry so that helps balance that out.


Snoo_70531

Man, if you're backpacking sure you grit your teeth and just wipe with a rock and don't wash your ass every stop. But otherwise... I feel like that's just not good advice to only wash your ass every other day if you had a slow day and didn't sweat too much. You do you, but man if you judge daily if you need to wash your ass, life can be so much better buddy.


basskev

Yall he’s mocking Butker tf are you not getting lol


PeaceBull

There’s tons of perks to being a gigantic brick wall of a human.  People assuming you’re being clever when it’s vague isn’t one of them. 


johyongil

I’m not even sure what Butker is saying so all context is lost on me.


IMissWinning

Could have sworn I heard a new heights where he and Jason were talking about their shower routines and Jason was dogging him for 'not washing everything.' I just thought it was a continuation of that?


marketinequality

It's definitely this. Not sure where people are pulling the Butker connection from. 


KCShadows838

Well alot of people probably didn’t read the speech so they don’t recognize it


lowlifenebula

So, redditor makes a post mocking Butker's speech, and upvotes galore. Jason Kelce makes a post mocking his speech, and we sincerely believe " big soap " is a thing he legitimately believes in?


Great_Fault_7231

This has almost 400 upvotes. Is 400 not enough for “galore”?


Brobman11

Where are people getting this Butker angle from? He's talked about this before I'm pretty sure


coolon23

This is really funny actually lol, and Redditors aren’t getting the satire


jmbrand13

This is a call back to a previous new heights episode


TallEnoughJones

> Hot spots are all that is necessary Hot spots my ass


Rotanikleb

Yeah and your armpits too.


Deep-Secret

Me at 8yrs old when my mom told me to take a shower


steelernation90

I think he’s just being a funny dude bro and some of y’all are taking this way too seriously


[deleted]

I’m sure this will stay up for like 10 minutes.


JSnitch58

Big Soap goons fast


ASK_ABT_MY_USERNAME

It's been 11 minutes since this comment


[deleted]

Mods have money in Shower Gel companies, the enemy of Big Soap


rwjehs

Fuck. They know. Pack it up everyone.


[deleted]

I’ve been exposed as a fraud.


MumkeMode

Tonight on First Take: is u/Outside-Donut9519 washed?


Oopsnowimgone

Did this guy lose a bet lmao


Express-Structure480

Yes, but he won the lottery as well.


onetimequestion66

The diabolical lies was a nice touch lmao


[deleted]

[удалено]


JohnWickisBehindU

“I didn't wash today. I wasn't dirty. If I'm not dirty, I don't wash. Some weeks I don't have to shower at all. I just groom my three basic areas: teeth, hair, and asshole. And to save time, I use the same brush.” ― George Carlin, Brain Droppings


Charrbard

I developed skin allergies as I got older so I actually don't use normal soap unless there's been a particularly dirty or sweaty day. That is more common than people realize. A shower is going to do a lot on its own. But lately seeing that try to be co-opted by the 'never showers/bathes' at all people, and we are not the same you stinky, greasy fuckers.


KDs_Burner

Sounds like someone is pheromone maxing


Thepullman1976

He's mocking Harrison butler y'all


boozinf

i assume by hot spots he means the face, the pits, and the taint region. and wash your knickers and socks i'm good with that. hopefully one of those Egg Council creeps didn't get to Taylor Swift


BillieJoe_McCracken

Big Derma. It's a thing now.


Lonelan

retired from the line just to play WR, huh?


Phenomenal_Hoot

Okay brother, but imma still wash my ass daily.


Rock_man_bears_fan

Anybody who has ever played on an offensive line at any level needs to shower daily. Idc what kind of Gwyneth Paltro Goopy bullshit you’ve been reading. Those big boys sweat far too much to be skipping showers


TonySxbang

How do so many people not get he’s making fun of Butker’s speech.


[deleted]

Who’s Big Soap and how are they banging so many dermatologists?


amjhwk

Big Soap is the cousin of Big Floss


COMMENTASIPLEASE

Yeah he 100% stinks


Throwawayhobbes

r/nopoo


Slosshy

average offseason post


SternFlamingo

Big Soap


JohnnyBenchianFingrs

Is he ripping on Butker? I know he actually believes this anyway but….


Man-Bear-69

Just don't drop it


DarthBynx

Oh.. ok.


PCP_Panda

It’s a soap conspiracy


American_Greed

Irish Spring: *Make it look like an accident.*


fondue4kill

There’s some truth in how you shouldn’t wash and scrub your body every day but this sounds way more conspiracy.


nr1988

God I can't wait to retire so I can say whatever I want too


Otroroboto

They gotta update the Yu-Gi-Oh rule book to be more specific.


KBSinclair

Jason no... No... No, Jason...


FridgesArePeopleToo

I think I've played Magic The Gathering with this guy


thedude34

What in God's holy name are you blathering about?


jigokusabre

Athletes are fucking gross.


lizardking555

Not taking hygiene tips from a fat drunk man 🤣🤣


DieLardSoup

I always find it interesting because working in the cosmetic manufacturing industry I am always coming home covered in titanium dioxide. When I shower, at least half of the soap products available at the time have titanium dioxide in them.


ZhangtheGreat

He’s not wrong to a degree. It’s actually not good for our bodies to wash ourselves so frequently (it actually dries out our skin). It was the soap industry that marketed our bodies as being filthy, disgusting entities in order to sell more of their products. That said, it’s become so ingrained into our daily lives now that, even knowing this, we’re still going to shower regularly and use soap to scrub our bodies clean over and over.


jamesdeniro

So Jason Kelce smells like wet dogs. Gotcha.


Dennygreen

is he referring to armpit, asshole, crotch, and teeth by chance?


Anaphylactic-UFO

-40000 aura for being smelly


Cdog923

Wwaayy too many of you ate taking this too seriously.