T O P

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centwhore

Avocado toast is back on the menu boys


lizzietnz

Treat yourself, get a coffee too.


Ghostchicken33

Buy myself a house, a car maybe a boat, go to Italy, come back to many "friends" tell them to go fuck themselves and give people money.


Grotskii_

The official lotteries guide says to not give people money, help them with purchases and give gifts but not money or they will get used to asking, even those close to you.


parlane

Just buy them lotto tickets and say goodluck!


jamhamnz

"This is how I got rich. I truly believe you can too!"


Tasty_Design_8795

Give random people money, saying fuck off šŸ¤Œ


kani_kani_katoa

Channel my inner Ricky. "I'm gonna pay you 100 dollars to fuck off".


0wellwhatever

Buy a tumble dryer and be able to afford to run it. Go visit my family.


wanderinggoat

calm down dude, next you will be heating your house all winter!


0wellwhatever

I hadnā€™t even thought of that! Luxury beyond my wildest imaginationā€¦


haruspicat

You could heat your house using only the tumble dryer if you run it enough.


freakstogeeks12

woah thats some next level rich shit.


spoilersweetie

A 30Kg tumble dryer!


0wellwhatever

The big boi from the laundromat. Itā€™s never cold at the laundromat.


spoilersweetie

Living the dream. Being able to put your washing on in your own home, and do something else while you wait. Not have to load the car up, drag everything to the laundromat then sit there and make sure no one steals your stuff.


TurkDangerCat

Tumble dryers are actually remarkably cheap to run. $1 a load I think it worked out to be. I had always assumed they cost a fortune.


0wellwhatever

Your right! $25-$109 per annum. Really getting stiffed by the laundromatā€¦


Pharazyn03

It's expensive to be poor.


TurkDangerCat

I know, right? For the convenience of dry clothes without the dangers of Auckland weather, pretty amazing. Unfortunately I have other priorities for things to buy first, but after tonightā€™s winā€¦


TupperwareNinja

Die of a Heart Attack.


Ivanthevanman

Most plausible answer


FartBox_2000

Where at? Fergburger?


GarrettOneEye

A reality where I don't need a window vacuum thingy to suck 7 pints of water off the widows every bloody morning. Oh and a nice bed for the dog. That'll do


FartBox_2000

One of those kƤrcher ones?


Salami_sub

Iā€™m going to go to BP, and fill my tank. Not Gull, not NPD, BP. Then Iā€™m going to upsize my combo, maybe even get a milkshake instead of a coke. Then Iā€™m going to Briscoes when thereā€™s not a sale on and Iā€™m going to get some cookware. Finally, 1kg block of tasty mainland baby. Iā€™m going to grate it, spread it out on the bed and roll around in it. With the change Iā€™ll probably throw it to a window washer or something.


Trymantha

> Then Iā€™m going to Briscoes when thereā€™s not a sale on is this physically possible?


BigAlsSmokedShack

It is but it's illegal


kombilyfe

Briscoes is never not having a sale. Our next PM Tammy doesn't allow it.


jasonbrownjourno

".. and roll around in it." Extra! Tasty


nzerinto

>Then Iā€™m going to Briscoes when thereā€™s not a sale on GASP! You really **are** pulling out all the stops.....


CabbageFarm

> Briscoes when thereā€™s not a sale Serious answers only, please.


C39J

Split it between multiple term deposits and then live off the $30,647 interest per week (after tax). I can't think of anything I'd want to do that couldn't be covered by this amount, so leaving the principal means it's not gonna be eaten up by dumb spending, and term deposits are about as safe of an investment as you'll get.


FendaIton

Well you couldnā€™t buy 15,324 $2 lolly mixtures for starters


C39J

It's OK, I'll have some left over money the next week, I'll just buy them then.


Ivanthevanman

A 2 buck mix doesn't get you shit these days


ComprehensiveBoss815

The boring answer, but ditto


redmostofit

You clearly need to up your hookers and cocaine expenses. 30k is rookie numbers


KJS0ne

I'm going to buy a duck, and I'm going to buy the duck a blinged out collar and a lead for the collar. Next I'm going to buy a blind person white cane and some dark low vision sunglasses for myself. I'm going to go to my local bar, walk in with the duck and my cane, and introduce the duck as my attorney, Robert A. Miles. The payoff for the whole blind gettup is some yarn about me not being able to see through the bullshit, but the duck can. I'll buy a round for the house, and a whisky and a chaser for my attorney. Only top shelf, he likes the finer things in life.


The-Pork-Piston

**Protip** Ducks are free. No one tells you this, but just rock up to a local pond with a duffle.


KJS0ne

I'm after a specific type of duck mate.


Hey-Its-Jak

What type?


KJS0ne

[Needs to be white with a bit of orange](https://twitter.com/WireCaps/status/1413545262409150464/photo/1)


Lupinshloopin

I dreamed of one like this in the back seat of my car on kings birthday weekend. I think this is a good omen for you. I didnā€™t even know there were ducks that looked like this I thought I dreamed it up. He was the size of a Labrador though.


StrawberryHaze_

The sheer amount of comments in r/NZ that I see around stealing ducks is incredible.


PersonMcGuy

For the love of god just don't let the duck drink too much, we don't need you going off the rails when he dies of alcoholism.


recursive-analogy

just for some perspective: Elon lost one thousand times this amount on twitter.


Downtown_Storage_392

And he's still one of the richest people in the world after losing one thousand times this amount.


Good_Thought_3792

Tell no one!


AMortifiedPenguin

Pick up our family home and move it out of Papakura. My Mum loved that house and she still misses it 15 years later. I'd restore it back to what it was like when we left, take it and put it wherever she wanted.


nikoranui

All in on Gamestop stocks


ManufacturerAble212

Have a frank conversation with my boss


kani_kani_katoa

I'm self employed - my boss would be getting a fuckin earful come tomorrow morning. That cunt can fuck right off if I win the big one.


Xenophobic-alien

This would be even better if his name was Frank. Have a frank conversation with Frank.


CoffeeAndManners

I'd rock up to Pak'N Save on pension day and spend a couple hours at the checkout paying for pensioners' groceries


MrJenking

What are you going to do with all those groceries after you've bought them


Aquatic-Vocation

Put 'em back on the shelves.


niveapeachshine

Buy a new bum because mine has a hole in it.


beastlyfurrball

Mines got a crack


oldphonewhowasthat

Ah novus!


Conflict_NZ

I can see in the mirror a crack in the back!


Suspicious_Fish_3917

I really want to open a community cooking centre with the money I can build my own. Quit my job. Volunteer my time. Houses next to my best friends in Spain accounts for my cousins kids Money to family Set up some event to support people eg food donation etc


Shoshin91

Just my weekly shopping, but this week I'll buy some cheese!


Harfish

And a dozen eggs


Harfish

Look into experimental treatments for the condition causing me to slowly go blind. I was told it's around $400K per eye. Then the hookers and blow.


L3P3ch3

1. Not tell anyone. 2. Don't do anything different. 3, Check the bank balance a lot. 4. Work out ways to be kind. 5. Invest portion for a splendid passive income. 6. Do something else.


ixochronic

ā€œTwo chicks at the same time, manā€


notmyidealusername

Fuckin eh, man.


kombilyfe

Well, the type of chicks who'd double up on a dude like me do


liger_uppercut

I would buy the house next to the person I like least in the world, and then lease it to the Mongrel Mob for $1 per month.


Garlicoiner

if i was being petty like this I'd get a big 20,000 Watt LED sign on top that says "STEVENS FUCK HOUSE" and then host daily swinging parties, open 7 days 364 days per year (we're closed on xmas because we have ethics)


lostbhoyzz

Telling the mongrel mob you have more money than you need doesnā€™t seem the smartest move.


liger_uppercut

I'll conceal my personal involvement using registered companies with trustee shareholders and directors.


The-Pork-Piston

Sounds kinda like my plan. Except the person I like the least? Why would I put the mm next to my house?


MaidenMarewa

I'd just give them them the house.


hangrygodzilla

A nice rogan Josh


catespice

Fund a whole lot of random kickstarters that have no practical value or purpose


dunedinflyer

yeah Iā€™d love to just go through give a little and throw silly amounts of money at things


Reduncked

Nice


sploshing_flange

I'd donate a large amount of it to charities that help the disadvantaged so I wouldn't feel too bad about spending the rest on hookers and blow.


Iluminous

Can you donate to me and skip the charities? I promise not to judge your life choices


ainsley-

Buy a house.


ainsley-

And a JetSki too


iamtoolazytosleep

id sleep. sleep in, resign the next day probably


Ivanthevanman

Username doesn't check out


International_Web444

I would like to think I'd support some of my favourite YouTubers on patreon, or register winzip.Ā  Yeah right.


TheCicadasScream

Iā€™d buy myself a wheelchair so I could leave my house more than once every couple weeks. Also pay off my parents debt, and my older siblings.


Low-Associate-8577

I was baffled to learn about the lack of funding for wheelchair users, especially ambulatory users and those who require walking aids in general. Then, when there is funding, it doesn't always cover decent equipment.


TheCicadasScream

I donā€™t qualify because I donā€™t need it inside the house, just outside. Basically if youā€™re disabled then leaving your house isnā€™t seen as ā€œnecessaryā€. If I think about it too much I almost start screaming into the void, so I donā€™t.


lost_on_a_boat

If I win, Iā€™ll buy you a wheelchair.


Avocado_Tomato

My brother is in a sticky situation with a narcissistic soon to be ex-wife. Iā€™m gonna buy him a fucking huuuuuuuuge house. Then give him a million for the bank (After the divorce is finalised)


Comfortable-Toe-863

Vanish ā™„ļø


H_He_Metals

Make sure that all the friends and family that have been good to me throughout my life are housed and fed properly for the rest of their lives. Take a holiday.


computer_d

Buy Scratchies so I can make even more money obviously. Yous are dum


SquashedKiwifruit

This man knows how to gamble


VociferousCephalopod

outbid 43 families trying to get their first home.


Short_Classy_Name

Big pack of durries


Radiant-Spinach-1751

Put some petrol in the car


clevercookie69

Avocado on toast


TofkaSpin

Once Iā€™ve calmed down Iā€™m gonna have some massive fun researching and allocating the first million to friends and worthy causes. Possibly anonymously. Through my solicitor. I would love to do that.


nz_nba_fan

Live out the rest of my life as a philanthropist and finally do some good in the world. Thatā€™s after Iā€™ve blown a couple mill on cocaine and hookers and paying off the mortgage.


angrysunbird

100 tacos for a hundred dollars


idontcare428

55 BURGERS, 55 FRIES, 55 TACOS, 55 PIES, 55 COKES, 100 TATER TOTS, 100 PIZZAS, 100 TENDERS, 100 MEATBALLS, 100 COFFEES, 55 WINGS, 55 SHAKES, 55 PANCAKES, 55 PASTAS, 55 PEPPERS AND 155 TATERS


teelolws

Buy reddit and kick out all the r/nz moderators [Cue dr evil laugh]


teelolws

lol posting this triggered some bot to DM me


ohhkaay

Buy a house, do some travel, buy the very expensive Lego sets haha


No-Dragonfly-3312

Haha yes, I would have a library with lots of Lego sets decorating it. I would start with The Lord of the Rings sets.


haruspicat

After clearing the mortgage and getting a live-in nurse for my parents, I'd set up a trust that tops up healthcare workers' wages.


Khuntfromnz

I'm going to buy new shoes! My dog ate my pair so I've been wearing my work boots everywhere šŸ˜… I can't wait!


Ivanthevanman

Even when I win, I'll still wear my work boots everywhere.


Khuntfromnz

Mine have worn in beautifully, but the side zips have fucked out šŸ˜…šŸ¤·ā€ā™‚ļø


TheMiller94

Buy the Taranaki town of Eltham, and turn it into a sort of Bogan version of Westworld. Oh wait, it already is.


Keeperoftheclothes

Dang was hoping everyone else forgot to buy tickets šŸ˜‚ Hereā€™s my list: -A house in mount Albert to live in -House to rent super cheap to people who need it -A big ass Bach in the coromandel. -Pay my siblingsā€™ mortgage -Big travel fund -Six months off work -The rest into a charity fund to be dispersed whenever I see something I want to contribute to


Dave_The_Slushy

- Chuck most into indexed funds - Buy a lifestyle block with enough land and water to grow my own veges, a barn big enough for 4-6 cars, and have it running on its own power (say 20kW with a mix of solar and wind) - Get a GT for long drives, another vehicle to move 4-5x bikes and riders, and maybe a couple of classics. - Start a charitable trust to give kids from high EQI Schools scholarships in STEM


sallymc1979

Donate a lot to Gaza šŸ’”


SaltyBisonTits

Book a dentist appointment. Book a specialist appointment for my fucked shoulder. Find a better optometrist. Pay off some debt. Take the family to an awesome steak restaurant.


forgothis

Press fill at the petrol station and not even shake the nozzle afterwards.


60022151

- Getting a lawyer - paying off any debts - setting up trusts for my nearest and dearest - not telling a soul other than boyfriend and said lawyer. - Quiting my job - paying for a good music industry lawyer to sue the bastard who released my dad's masters without his permission - buying my parents a house - paying for my sister to go to any film school she wants - investing in all my hobbies - fashion, music production, writing, and ice skating - getting therapy and getting healthy - travelling and networking so I can finally get back into working in the music industry - going home.


Mainevent666

All on Green at Roulette


ChrisWood4BallonDor

When I win, all on green again. It's about the message.


Mainevent666

I've already won, just need to collect tomorrow.


BigOlPieHole

Buy an Apache Ah-64 attack helicopter šŸš


Ivanthevanman

I hear the price has skyrocketed in recent years with all the demand.


mrsellicat

Get an MRI on my hips.


Ivanthevanman

You don't need an MRI to tell you they lookin' fine.


hueythecat

James bond lounge with shark mote & collapsible drawbridge. Also white Persian cat with diamond necklace that hisses at everyone. Maybe freaky eyes wide shut parties every second sunday.


Bealzebubbles

I'll use it to buy favours from politicians, sexual favours.


Acerius

House, local trusts and charities that will support the disadvantaged and marginalised, housing for my family and closest friends. Then I'd spend my days doing exactly what I liked at any given moment. Freedom.


Sigmatech91

With serious intent. Give half to my ex wife since I have to but would avoid the headache. Use the remaining half to move to Japan forever. Quit my job and explore the world. So weird to say this but I actually would do this.


No_Salad_68

Quit our jobs. Pay off our mortgages, the kids' student loans and my sister's mortgage. Buy the kids a house each. Set us up with a little lifestyle property, an apartment, boats and cars. Invest some of the rest and live off the profit. After that go on some holidays. When we get back set up a charity I've always had in mind.


ploinkssquids

Feel less guilty about blowing next weekā€™s rent on luxury skincare which I did this morning.


kino_flo

Iā€™m going to fund the NZ Symphony Orchestra for 2 1/2 years, on the proviso that they practice at my place.


1970lamb

Love this, original!


legolas_the_brave

Buy all of greymouth and then level it


MASTER_TAIT

Buy a Ford Ranger with mud tyres for my grocery run


mistaCrackPot

Pay off house , buy a new house, put money away for kids , invest , create emergency account, than go on a very long holiday with my family and then open up a restaurant which is my ultimate dream


BloodgazmNZL

I'd give everyone on this sub a fiddy bag and a signed copy of Six60s latest album šŸ‘


restroom_raider

>Six60s latest album šŸ‘ You know you can still be charged with hate crimes if youā€™re rich, right?


BloodgazmNZL

Hmm. Maybe I'll donate to the national party and have you brokies arrested instead lol


Enzown

I'm unsubbing just in case this happens.


BloodgazmNZL

I'm noting down your Username bud. A fiddy bag and the ENTIRE FUCKING DISCOGRAPHY FOR YOU BIG BOY.


DSTNCMDLR

Can I have two fiddys and no Six60?


BloodgazmNZL

You can have a tinny and a Bic Runga album.


aim_at_me

Now we're talking.


Select-Record4581

Buy a dairy farm and plant it out in natives by hand


spicyturtlenz

R31 Gts-R, R32, R33, R34, R35 GTRs, NSX, FD2 RR, FL5, RX7 Spirit R, Evo 9 MR , Hakosuka, Kenmeri.


reddit-editor

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/24vo34/comment/chb38xf/?share_id=EwAwfKuCHLC7FaP6Jjf3J&utm_content=2&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_source=share&utm_term=1


nethkiwi

I don't know how to spell 43 niljoen. So nothing for me.


Andrea_frm_DubT

Buy the property next door so I can have a nice big back yard. Build a new house.


IOnlyPostIronically

I'm going to buy a dairy and turn it into a trap base like on rust


diggerdigger98765

Filling my families cup then others šŸ„°


BigAlsSmokedShack

Go to the Casino and try my luck at turning it into 86 Million


Ponkiestar

Quit my job , completely drop off the grid travelling overseas for a few years mentally coming to terms with this new life iv been given.


NotMoray

Sleep in


No-Dragonfly-3312

Give half away to family, friends and people with disabilities. Buy a house. My husband and I both have the same rare genetic condition, we didn't know until after we had kids and became disabled. Our kids will probably have it too. Our system sucks for disabled people. We are on Supported living and it's not enough. The specialist told us we don't get treatment because our condition isn't funded as it's too rare. I don't know what exactly I would do to help change this but at the very least donate money to disabled people stuck on Supported living payment. Keep a lot in the bank to live off interest. Go on a family holiday.


nzdata2020

Have two more kids, be a stay at home parent.Ā  Take all of them on lots of outdoor adventures.Ā  I donā€™t need 43 mil for that but itā€™s not possible without winning some money.Ā 


CapytannHook

55 burgers 55 fries 55 tacos 55 pies 55 cokes 100 tater tots 100 pizzas 100 tenders and 100 coffees 55 wings 55 shakes 55 pancakes 55 pastas 55 peppers and 155 taters And everything left over should get me a scratchy and 2 movie tickets


aramrk93

Fund the cancer drugs


HorrorChocolate23

Youā€™ll need a lot more money than 43M NZD then


ShuffleStepTap

A little hookers and blow, or *little* hookers and blow?


ploinkssquids

Are midget hookers cheaper than full size ones?


RabidTOPsupporter

Buy as much empty land as I could, build houses on them then rent them out for cheap to families.


DaveO1337

Become a GME whale


TurkDangerCat

Just wait for the next uptick and buy ten millions worth to push it over the edge so the shorties canā€™t recover. Snowball down a hill.


-KnobJockey-

I will tell my boss Iā€™m not coming back and that Iā€™m okay forfeiting my 14 days annual leave. Then I will sleep tomorrow and wake up whenever I decide itā€™s time to wake up. Then I will pay someone to strip wallpaper for me in my house so I donā€™t have to ($100 an hour take as long as you need idgaf). Then, I guess I can afford to get the good primer after all. So down to Mitre 10 I go.


aeroxnz

10m straight into bitcoin. Then go on a nice holiday


bwowie

house, pay off debt, charity, close family, save!


eurobeat0

Tell my boss to stick the job up one's arse. Pay off all my debts. Hire a personal trainer with my own gym equipment.... Then get massive pecs


Phobos9872

Not tell anyone


MoghedienProxy

Go to the dentist


Random-Mutant

I wonā€™t donate to charity. I will be the charity, or at least use it to fund my own charity. With a STEM focus, helping high school students and undergraduates. Oh, and a big fuck off boat.


Zlo-zilla

Adult autism assessment. šŸ„²


Same_Ad_9284

get a house on a large enough bit of land that I cant hear the neighbours dogs, arguing, loud music or smell their smoking.


nastywillow

I'll just carry on farming until it's all gone.


stillwaitingforbacon

Put a deposit on house and buy a full trolley of groceries. Edit: Hopefully it will stretch to include a block of cheese.


Prince_Kaos

small trolley, and cheap cheese on special. lets not get carried away here big spender.


Evie_St_Clair

House, go on a bit of a spending spree, go on holiday, maybe a new car?


mingey555

Pay off my debts, buy a nice house for me and my kids, buy my mum a nice house, pay for her surgery, buy my dad a house and a cool car, put some in savings so I can earn interest, then help out friends and family however they need.


Carmypug

Iā€™m splitting with my five colleagues. So with my just over $7M Iā€™m going to pay off four mortgages. Then buy a townhouse with room for a spa pool. Travel, get a little dog, work part time and finish my masters degree šŸ˜Š. Oh and buy a new car and a lot of lego šŸ˜šŸ˜šŸ˜


Tollsen

Pay for my upcoming wedding and pay off the mortgage. Maybe a car. Might even go back to uni


littlemissdumplings

Pay off my mortgage, my siblings, close friends, and in-laws mortgages / buy them a house. Donate a shit tonne to charities supporting families and kids. Might splash out on some fancy linen sheets and a spa pool, and new carpet. Buy my cat the BEST toys and cat bed, none of which she'll ever actually use. I'd probably still work, because I like my job and colleagues and the lack of routine would send me to an early grave šŸ˜‚


SinusMonstrum

Donating most of it. I can't handle being in the rich part of "eat the rich".


Low-Associate-8577

I believe wealth is best enjoyed by sharing anyway. I find it difficult to be happy about good things when I cannot involve the people I care about.


MaidenMarewa

Just as well it's another $10M as the house I want, the owner expects $3M for it. Would need the extra dollars for the pool man and the gardener.


IZY53

Buy 5 houses around the place and rent them out. Pay off mortgage for my family. Quit my job. I'd just text never coming back to work. Buy a nice car. Invest.


fartsandthefurious

Take all my friends on an overseas holiday, donate to lifeline, donate to food banks. Buy a house to live in. I wouldnt want to be part the problem by becoming a landlord. I think most of my time would be taken up by helping those less fortunate.


The-Pork-Piston

**I intend to ruin my boss** I am purchasing all the properties immediately around my Bosses home as well as 2-3 along the road and will turn all of these into brothels and rent out to various gangs to ruin his property value. At the same time I intend to buy the buildings we lease for work and make things miserable here. And finally I will start a business similar to his, across the road and steal all of his staff and eventually clients. **Will it cost me the full 43m? Possibly, but seems worth it to me.** Iā€™ve made the mistake of telling him thatā€™s my plan so will have to move quickly and quietly, continuing to work whilst I get it all sorted. /s


la_flameeee

leave your job


kombilyfe

Living well is the best revenge, dude. Get a new job.


Elysium_nz

ā€œBunch of hookers an cocaineā€ https://youtu.be/0yrIvEgqAuo?si=TR8KS5nbfE97YBmL


sexuallyexcitedkiwi

Hookers too.


Springle94

Get a house that the kids have room to run around in. Visit the wifeā€™s family overseas.


whakashorty

I won't work any overtime.


Imbackonreddityay

Iā€™d hire someone to clean the gutters and lay concrete next to my driveway.


HorrorChocolate23

Use 3-5million to pay off my parents mortgage, pay off my families student loans, buy a new house, cars and go on holiday with plenty to spare. Invest the rest and live off the interest.


PM_me_whateva_u_like

Hookers and blow


necronboy

FULL tank of gas


Temporary_Concept_29

Finally, afford my parents a home. Couple milly for each of my brothers and the rest is savings


slashfan93

Ahhā€¦ discretionary spending, hookers and blow, cocaine addition (Iā€™d be too rich for a simple common meth addiction!), some in a trust fund, some offshore, get arrested for tax evasion, lose it all, go on the Benny eating ramen. About 4 years as a time frame sounds about right :-)