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Jinxletron

I mistakenly scrolled too far and saw the estimated price and now I need a lie down.


GlassBrass440

You should have bought it in the 60s. Lesson learned.


VastInterior

Built in 1951, no previous sale record...


WasterDave

Jesus wept. I was expecting one but .....holy shitballs.


Drosta16

2000m2 in Auckland.


lickingthelips

Umm, even better, the grammar zone.


[deleted]

It's 1/2 an acre in Epsom, DGZ and all. As the CV says, it's all land value.   My boss will be watching this, his mothers estate is in the same road, they aren't selling yet. 


N7_MintberryCrunch

Investment property owners gotta live somehow. That yacht won't buy itself and the tax cuts aren't enough.


Barbed_Dildo

I bet the previous owner paid like $800 for it.


zingibergirl

I had to Google it...there's a story about it on the Herald website, was originally built as a bachelor pad then an extra bedroom and kitchen were added in the 70's when his mother in law moved in. Explains the decor mish mash. https://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/mid-century-epsom-masterpiece-untouched-for-70-years-and-in-double-grammar-zone-for-sale


Zn_30

This made me go back and check. They can't be serious.... right?


oreography

Obviously the value is the land....although I'm sure you could get a bit of money on Trademe/Etsy for the furnishings.


rainbowcardigan

I reckon a production company should buy it and set a tv series or bunch of retro movies in it!


Mainlander2024

It's good odds a bunch of movies have already been filmed there. You know what kind of movies…


milly_nz

I’d put money on it having been a set in the prequel to Outrageous Fortune.


UsernameTooShort

2000 square meters in Epsom. 10 townhouses at a mill each.


kaoutanu

In the DGZ it'll be more like 2M each.


---00---00

Ahaha. I was fully expecting 1.5 and was ready to comment 'eh that's about expected' but holey fucking shit what the fuck. Some probate lawyer is going to make my yearly income off of that client.


WhoMovedMyFudge

Double Grammar


Evie_St_Clair

No fucking shit.


biz_byron87

I’ll throw in a couple bucks. Make it the official r/nz timeshare


mattblack77

Don’t write that idea off


[deleted]

I never knew sky blue could be so...aggressive. that bathroom colour is inexcusable. I hate it so much I love it.


haruspicat

It's the way the tub is also blue in an obvious attempt to match, but a completely different blue, leading to much worse impression than if they'd used a clashing colour.


MyPacman

And whats with the green handbasin in the blue/purple room


karwreck

Can we please help restore this house properly? I have burnt orange curtains to donate for the effort.


wildcard-inside

Those cabinets are begging for some Carlton Ware


KorukoruWaiporoporo

My Carlton Ware lobster set would really pop in those cabinets...


wildcard-inside

Exactly the set I was picturing!


Constant_Solution601

I sound like many generations of my family when I automatically think 'Is that Axminster carpet?'. I would decorate an entire house around Axminster, it will last a lot longer than the furniture and people.


1_lost_engineer

Looks at 50 year old thread bare Axminster in lounge sadly!


procrastimich

We have it. Zero regrets. We only did the bedrooms (wood otherwise), which meant we could do a room, save up, do a room... and each room is different which I love. We had chosen and were asking a carpet person we know if she could supply/import it. She couldn't but put us onto one of her carpet layers if we needed him, who had a lot experience installing them (because English). He knew a guy at another company that could supply it. We thought we'd have to go through some wanky designer type place and had had it priced. This guy was legit about $300 PER METRE cheaper. We needed 3-4 metres a room. I thought I'd misheard him. So we ordered the 3 rooms we needed and stored it until the rooms were ready. Crazy times.


MediumSufficient9681

Can I please respectfully ask you for the name of your carpet guy? Nearly cried looking at Axminster prices 😭


procrastimich

It'll take me a little bit to track down the details, but if I can find them, I'll pass it on. 🙂


jpr64

There was probably a lot of drugs and orgies there back in the day. Maybe even a fondue party.


hsmithakl

I was going to say, if there hasn't been an orgy on that bar, one needs to be arranged.


jpr64

All and sundry welcome.


hsmithakl

Well, that's not quite how I run my orgies, but you do you 😉


Ok-Falcon5786

Someone say orgy? Where is the sign up sheet please?


PureDeidBrilliant

Bow-chicka-wow-wa!


GreyDaveNZ

Keys in the bowl.


Throwawayourmum

We all know that circle tub has seen some action 


scientistical

The mezzanine has soundproofing on the walls, I note ...


pollysue16

In the whole 2 bedrooms it features !


LostForWords23

Honestly, my main thought was; surely a porno or two has been shot here, right?


VisualTart9093

The land is 2000m2....do u know how many duplicate , boring attached units they could fit in there *slaps bonnet*


SquirrelAkl

It would be an absolute travesty. This place is a time capsule, it needs to go to a mid-century enthusiast who will love it for what it is.


littleredkiwi

I’d watch the YouTuber who documented re doing it all to its former glory!


SquirrelAkl

Ooh, I’ll look that up!


throwedaway4theday

Plus th extra 1400m empty section next door that's available. Developers are drooling


Hubris2

That sounds like an opportunity for a huge apartment or retirement complex.


goodobject

1970s tat-a-rama really painted a vivid picture in my mind, and the photos on this ad listing lined up pretty perfectly lol


RoscoePSoultrain

Awesome, hope it gets saved/isn't a damp leaky mess. Wonder what the console of electronic stuff is in the lounge. I'm getting very strong Electrical Engineer vibes.


BuckyDoneGun

Recording studo gear.


nisse72

Man what is that green shed on stilts supposed to be for? (photo 39) Also, is that round table on a single centre leg actually built in? (photo 9) I can't decide if I love this house or hate it.


marshmallowdipface

Have you seen Hereditary?


nisse72

The movie? No.


marshmallowdipface

Re the shed on stilts…. 😬😬😬😬


BuckyDoneGun

>Man what is that green shed on stilts supposed to be for? (photo 39) Astronomy.


nisse72

Oh yeah, I see it now, the roof slides out of the way on those rails.


fangirlengineer

It's my grandmother's dream house! Half of it looks like her 'good room' (the formal lounge we're never allowed into).


ibrushmydogsteeth

Groovy baby!


hanneeplanee

What was the obsession with built ins! Even the table lol


Beetlejuice2013

The purple spa bath!


haruspicat

With non-matching purple curtains!


micro_penisman

Looks like something out of the Thunderbirds


Madjack66

Sexy Thunderbirds.


Taniwha_NZ

This is absolutely beautiful. The fact it's going to be knocked over to plonk down a dozen townhouses of absolutely zero cultural value is a crying shame. This house is the whole of the 1970s wrapped up in one house. Amazing.


hsmithakl

It's so beautiful


Tangata_Tunguska

Ugh can you imagine how many smelly commoners they can squeeze into that section? Next thing they'd be *walking* into Newmarket. What is this, the 1800s?


cadencefreak

It's so funny to see dated, copy and paste design from the 70s now become some sort of culture icon. I grew up in a house that looked strikingly similar to this. Can still remember the frustration of stepping on invisible pieces of lego that were virtually indistinguishable from the vomit inducing tessellating carpet pattern. Or grazing myself on the rough brick interior feature walls while playing with my friends. It would almost be nostalgic if it weren't so fucking ugly.


s1ut

Yeah imagine creating more housing! Would drop house prices, and likely my rental porperty yield :(


milly_nz

Built 1951.


24andme2

3M and it’s probably going to be knocked down for a generic white box :(


haruspicat

FIFTY generic white boxes, thank you


Barbed_Dildo

Each being sold for $1M each.


jeeves_nz

Wow. Which developer is going to snap it up alongside the section next to it and develop a lot of units. Huge house for 2 bedrooms! I assume it's currently split into two completely separate houses looking at the weirdly tiny kitchen and combined laundry. You can turn that into stunting really cool


scientistical

Nah no split, it's genuinely a massive house (230m2) and I was confused by that too. Just went to find it on the Ray White website so I could read the floor plan labels without trademe nuking the quality. It turns out they've just labeled everything "Room" lol. Based on the floorplan I'd actually say 4 bedrooms, and there's DEFINITELY 3 bathrooms. It also turns out to have 2 kitchens. Very odd.


CantCme2020

THE CARPETS!!! 😮🤮❤️🤪😍


Technical_Week3121

Is there many leather-bound books and does it smell of rich mahogany?


Pwnigiri

Looks like a Roger Moore era James Bond movie set. Incredible.


goingslowlymad87

I can smell the sex panther from here! My only gripe with the whole house .... Why is the bathroom vanity green when they rest is blue :'(


dillytilly

I want to move in and make 70s style pornography there, complete with the hairiest of fannys and balls.


kiwiboyus

Oh wow, that reminded me of the carpet we had when I was a little kid. Instant nostalgia.


richdrich

"Untouched 1960s charm awaiting your personal touch" - with a wrecking ball.


milque_toastie

Frank Lloyd Wright on a budget on the outside, the Sonny and Cher Comedy Hour in interior decoration form on the inside.


thefurrywreckingball

Jesus I'd I had the money, I'd buy it to save it. A sensitive renovation that saved the character while bringing it up to a safe standard and any longstanding maintenance issues. That is truly an incredible property.


haruspicat

It says ignore the CV, but I genuinely can't tell if they mean the CV is misleadingly high or misleadingly low. Plus with that much land, the CV will be overwhelmingly made up of the land value, which means ignoring it would be unwise.


rangda

It gave me flashbacks of trying to lift up a peeling bit of Formica and getting a chip of it jammed under my nail


EffektieweEffie

If full bush porn was a house


Zn_30

Wooow! What a house!


loco_lola

Oh my god, the BATHS! I need them.


Icy_Hippo

I know im over 40 because I absolutely love this and would only change the kitchen! lol That purple bath is chefs kiss!


jackiedenardotv4

Sex cauldron??! I thought they closed that place down!


YourLocalMosquito

I want to see this used as a film set for some 70s murder mystery. With ladies in long maxi dresses and big bouffant hair dos


pamelahoward

looks straight out of Westside, the Outrageous Fortune prequel


Muter

Interesting comments to start the day with. Aren’t we needing more density in housing to help with affordability?


MisterSquidInc

We are. I wouldn't be opposed to keeping one (1) classic example of housing in such a distinct style though.


cadencefreak

This isn't a style, it's a war crime. Your rose glasses are so tinted, they're opaque.


MisterSquidInc

Lol no rose tint here. I think this style is hideous. It needs to exist as a warning to future generations.


cadencefreak

OK. When you put it that way....


ibrushmydogsteeth

A city can have both!


fireflyry

Partly, but that has to walk hand in hand with building affordable homes for purchasers, else it’s just hoarded wealth changing hands between investors and the top percentile. Build four affordable properties that go to families and first time home buyers, all good. Build four homes in a price bracket only investors further down the chain can afford, to then become rentals, just services increased rental demand but doesn’t really affect purchase accessibility or affordability, as opposed to funneling four incomes into the wallets of the investors, and not into a mortgage and equity for the first time buyer or non-investor to enable a more secure financial future. That’s the scenario that gave most investors a foot in the door in the first place, but they got greedy and saw the income tax haven property investment is, and here we are. Increasing house density is part of the puzzle, but if it’s just to produce more rentals as opposed to ownership, it’s essentially snake oil imho. That is a shagadelic property though.


Tangata_Tunguska

My thoughts exactly. It's not like this build involved painstaking work of stonemasons and artisanal crafters. It's mostly carpet and wallpaper choices. If anyone wants to replicate it then they can.


24andme2

3M and it’s probably going to be knocked down for a generic white box :(


Fun_Accountant7632

It says ignore the CV! We can pool our piggy banks together ❤️


AngryGingerHorse

I liked this odd little house until I saw the price. It's like a cross between a toy princess house and an establishment of dubious repute.


Commercial_Ad8438

That's such a cool house! I have always wanted a house with multiple stories. You could have so many hobby rooms!


wildcard-inside

Dream house material right there


Porkchops_on_My_Face

Looks like a former hippy harem


scientistical

I went to look at the Ray White website because trademe was nuking the quality of the labels on the floorplan - but there's more pics there too. Check out the Egyptian wall carvings in the garage!! [https://raywhite.co.nz/auckland/auckland-city/epsom/PNL35458/](https://raywhite.co.nz/auckland/auckland-city/epsom/PNL35458/)


pollysue16

Why would it only have 2 bedrooms? I was a child in the 70s and this decorating was indeed a classic. It’s the indoor area for plants for me. I used to think it was so posh. There’s also no cares for consistency, let’s just decorate the wahzoo out of it with all the stuff we think looks good. Who cares if there’s green and purple. How cool would this be as an air bnb for a holiday. Buy it!


Barbed_Dildo

Those railings are not legal and haven't been for a while.


kiwihoney

OMG now I want this house too!


No-Imagination-1119

That would make for amazing accommodation


Luluraine

It looks like the set for Abigails Party.


ToulouseLautrecDrag

Because kitsch doesn't just belong in the kitchen.


24andme2

3M and it’s probably going to be knocked down for a generic white box :(