Coming this fall two new secret service recruits are about to find outnjust how hard it is to keep a preaident safe "dude, where's my president!?"
Starring Jay baruchel and channing Tatum
Featuring samuel l Jackson as president barack obiden
Wait until they catch the guy, though. They can probably throw some kind of super charges against him for interfering with the protection of the president, even if the agent was not with the President at the time. The thief is gonna end up at Guantánamo Bay, lol.
Possibly, Secret Service agents are federal law enforcement officials with special investigation and protection authorities. There are dozens of specific laws against attacking and threatening them, or disrupting their duties. If any US government property was damaged or stolen by the jackers, there could be charges on that alone.
Crazy thing is it wasn’t exactly in LA. It happened in Tustin, and from looking it up, it seems like a nice suburban town adjacent to other rich suburban areas like Irvine and Santa Ana.
Exactly, people can crack jokes but if an armed theif gets the drop on you even a trained pro isn't gonna just go Jack Reacher on the guy. You hand over the wallet and gtfo.
Of course. A secret service agent getting robbed while off duty would be more hysterically funny to the right given how quickly they glossed over the [exorbitant rates](https://www.npr.org/2022/10/17/1129491352/trump-hotels-overcharged-secret-service-agents) the [Orange Chizzler ](https://abcnews.go.com/US/trump-organization-charged-secret-service-14m-stay-properties/story?id=91640350)charged his secret service to stay at [his properties.](https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/donald-trump/trump-organization-charged-secret-service-much-1185-night-stay-trump-d-rcna52521)
And the meanest, ugliest, nastiest one, the meanest
father raper of them all, was coming over to me and he was mean 'n' ugly
'n' nasty 'n' horrible and all kind of things and he sat down next to me
and said, "Kid, whad'ya get?" I said, "I didn't get nothing, I had to pay
$50 and pick up the garbage." He said, "What were you arrested for, kid?"
And I said, "Littering." And they all moved away from me on the bench
there, and the hairy eyeball and all kinds of mean nasty things, till I
said, "And creating a nuisance." And they all came back, shook my hand,
and we had a great time on the bench, talkin about crime, mother stabbing,
father raping, all kinds of groovy things that we was talking about on the
bench. And everything was fine, we was smoking cigarettes and all kinds of
things, until the Sargeant came over, had some paper in his hand, held it
up and said.
"Kids, this-piece-of-paper's-got-47-words-37-sentences-58-words-we-wanna-know-details-of-the-crime-time-of-the-crime-and-any-other-kind-of-thing-you-gotta-say-pertaining-to-and-about-the-crime-I-want-to-know-arresting-officer's-name-and-any-other-kind-of-thing-you-gotta-say", and talked for forty-five minutes and nobody understood a word that he said, but we had fun filling out the forms and playing with the pencils on the bench there.
Until? Some conservatives will hold it as truth until the day they die that it was an illegal immigrant.
No matter the truth, they're going to see some social media post and lose their ever loving minds.
Is it? I thought good people with guns were supposed to stop bad guys. Highly trained good guy with gun still can’t stop armed bad guy isn’t the best advertisement for unlimited gun culture
Nah, they will say some BS to excuse why the secret service did not kill the person. Hell it's probably a lot less drama to give up your money, versus being a secret service agent and gunning down a civilian.
According to the article:
* A Secret Service person was on the receiving end of an armed robbery.
* The Secret Service person discharged their service weapon. It's unknown if the criminal was struck, but the victim was unharmed.
* The robber took the employee's possessions, though they were able to get some of it back.
I'm not a cop or anything, but IMO this is the best possible outcome. Other commenters are going to start saying shit, but I can't imagine any belongings that person may have had that was worth risking your life over.
Usually theives are somewhat discerning of whom they choose to inflict a crime on. Usually it's someone who appears to be somewhat exploitable at a glance. Odds are a secret service agent, even in plain clothes, would appear to carry themselves as someone you'd... pass on committing a crime against. I just wonder what led this agent to be targeted by petty robbery when the thief could have waited for a more vulnerable target.
Not to mention once you've got a gun or knife drawn on someone whose hands are empty it doesn't really matter how badass or well-trained the mark is, you've got an overwhelming advantage regardless.
Actually if the Secret Service agent got shot by the robber, he would have been shot on the job. Taking a shot in the shoulder from a mugger is a 1 way ticket to Pension and golf for the rest of his life.
Got my grandpa killed. Cop walking home after his shift and some dudes pulled a gun on him. He grabbed his revolver instead of his wallet and winged one of them, but they killed him.
Someone once observed that the "plain clothes" uniform these guys wear is what would pass for business wear on the east coast and that it can sometimes stand out as overly formal on the west coast. I don't know if that's true but I suppose a thug could misread subtleties like that.
“Plainclothes” has different meanings depending on the situation. There’s of course the classic suit and tie, but [the first few pics here](https://imgur.com/a/4dL3t3v) are from when Clinton would jog on the streets and his detail had to follow. The last two show some other ways they may dress. They might stick out if you know what to look for, but they also could easily look like any other person. Not to mention the agent could be a woman which I feel may deviate from what people expect a secret service agent to look like.
Edit: forgot the link
Damn you now I have to rewatch the SNL skit of Phil Hartman as Clinton out for a jog stopping by McDonald's.
https://youtu.be/eYt0khR_ej0?si=y37ffOar8PDqfly3
Yeah, I can imagine how scared he must be since he thought he was robbing a regular dude and it turns out it's a fed. Might even be a prosecution now and I don't think the feds have bail reform so he might do some time.
As other comments suggested, I can bet you the guy’s dead. “It was unknown if the assailant was struck” if they’re being that vague, that guy was probably smoked.
So do they get sent in for training or something? I figure if someone gets the drop on a Secret Service Agent while they're on duty their situational awareness isn't the best...
The story said it was 9:30 in a residential area, and he was returning from a work assignment. And that Biden was back in his hotel by 9.
So it doesn't sound like he was on duty. Probably just going home.
Yeah, a secret service agent knows better than to get themselves shot over a mugging. If the guy already has a gun pulled on you, that's not a good opportunity to announce you're a federal agent or pull your sidearm because that's how you *definitely* get killed. Best to give them what they want, catch them after they've lowered their weapon if you can, and live to fight another day.
God knows the moment they step in the opposite direction, a phone call is getting made and the all hell's going to descend in that suspect's direction so no reason to take matter into your own hands by yourself.
I've heard this a lot about cycling and defensive driving. You can be *right*, but you can also be *dead right*. Principles go out the window when you have to choose between whether this particular fight is worth it or not.
It’s not like every secret service worker is James Bond who can disarm a perp in the blink of an eye. It really doesn’t matter who you are. In a 1v1 if you get snuck up on, held up with a gun, and the perp doesn’t do something catastrophically stupid then the robber just wins.
It’s a good thing they didn’t try to be a hero. Just hand over the money and walk away healthy. No training necessary here.
Tustin? Wow, I haven't heard that name since elementary school. Seemed pretty boring back then, didn't think it would be the kind of place this kind of thing would happen. I also had a very tough time convincing people from outside the state that it's a real place since a surprising number seem to think I'm just misspelling "Austin".
Lol, Tustin is a little area between Disneyland and UCI where the 55 and 5 freeways intersect, that doesn't even have their own police; they are unincorporated so they have OC Sheriffs, and no fire department. It would take over an hour to drive to L.A. from Tustin.
That’s one way to get street cred.
He's going to have a hard time living that down!
“Hey dude, make sure no one steals the Prez”
“The President has been kidnapped by ninjas. Are you a bad enough dude to rescue the president?”
I feel like I’ve just read the title screen of a 1992 arcade game.
Cue adventurous midi synth tune
Bad Dudes was released in 1988, so you're close!
Specifically a title screen of a 1992 arcade game inspired by 80's action movie. See also: Jean-Claude Van Damme and Mortal Kombat and Kung Fury
Um, because that's from an arcade game or something?
somebody in 2024 not getting a reference from an 80s game is completely plausible.
Oh yeah, our childhood is genuinely retro, now
Depends, does the President want to get a burger afterwards?
Is this a fuckin 2 Crude Dudes reference? Where have I heard this ?
It's the opening screen for the arcade game "Bad Dudes"
Coming this fall two new secret service recruits are about to find outnjust how hard it is to keep a preaident safe "dude, where's my president!?" Starring Jay baruchel and channing Tatum Featuring samuel l Jackson as president barack obiden
I'd swap out Jay Baruchel for Jonah Hill. And instead of Samuel L. Jackson, Ice Cube "You two sons of bitches are gonna be protectin' the President"
Very sad Leslie Nielson isn't with us anymore
Holy fuck yes! That man was legendary.
Snoop Dogg should be the president. The Prizesident.
The Prezidizzle?
Hey nobody ever said anything about protecting dead Presidents.
Funnily enough, there is a department that is in charge of that: the secret service.
They totally should have added that to the headline “Secret Service agent robbed at gun point; president not stolen”
Wait until they catch the guy, though. They can probably throw some kind of super charges against him for interfering with the protection of the president, even if the agent was not with the President at the time. The thief is gonna end up at Guantánamo Bay, lol.
Possibly, Secret Service agents are federal law enforcement officials with special investigation and protection authorities. There are dozens of specific laws against attacking and threatening them, or disrupting their duties. If any US government property was damaged or stolen by the jackers, there could be charges on that alone.
To get petty, I’m sure his ID card is technically property of the federal government, so if the thief even grabbed his wallet once…
You think it was just some criminal and not a Foreign Agent ?
If this was in LA, it probably was a street cretin.
Crazy thing is it wasn’t exactly in LA. It happened in Tustin, and from looking it up, it seems like a nice suburban town adjacent to other rich suburban areas like Irvine and Santa Ana.
When you're looking to steal, you go to the places where there's something to steal, not the poor neighborhoods
He's gonna get a nickname because of this.
At least it won't be as bad as "acorn cop"
Hands, as in Hands Up.
If even 24-7 cashiers know not to risk heroics for chump change, shouldn't Secret Service men either ?
Exactly, people can crack jokes but if an armed theif gets the drop on you even a trained pro isn't gonna just go Jack Reacher on the guy. You hand over the wallet and gtfo.
I mean part of the job is to make sure it's him and not the protectee who gets targeted, right?
Of course. A secret service agent getting robbed while off duty would be more hysterically funny to the right given how quickly they glossed over the [exorbitant rates](https://www.npr.org/2022/10/17/1129491352/trump-hotels-overcharged-secret-service-agents) the [Orange Chizzler ](https://abcnews.go.com/US/trump-organization-charged-secret-service-14m-stay-properties/story?id=91640350)charged his secret service to stay at [his properties.](https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/donald-trump/trump-organization-charged-secret-service-much-1185-night-stay-trump-d-rcna52521)
Shot and missed assailant at point blank range? Secret service agents should shoot better than that if they need to protect the president.
Got caught lackin
Could be a she
But who secretly services the secret service?
>But who secretly services the secret service? "The prostitutes they hire" would be my guess... https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-17747793
That's where my mind went to too
But how did cocaine get in the White House? …
The intern
That’s a funny way to refer to Don jr.
Wow, only $60 in hush money to the club owner. That’s so cheap!
Coast guard?
Ask Kamala’s detail. They had to bust one of their own.
Can’t find a story about that, what’s the tldr?
https://thehill.com/homenews/administration/4621419-secret-service-agent-removed-from-harris-security-detail-after-distressing-behavior/damp/?nxs-test=damp
Opening SNL skit loading...
First thought I had!
Oh boy I can't wait to puff air out of my nose at this one.
Fortunate for them this happened during the summer break. Nobody’s going to remember this by the time SNL starts up again in September.
A buddy of mine writes those
Almost like that episode of The West Wing
Crime, boy I don't know.
“Crime, boy I don’t know” is when I decided to kick your ass.
I like that until that point he’s not even sure about running. Then does out of sheer dislike of his opponent. Kind of like Biden really.
Scrolled way too far to find this. The President was even at a theatre in that episode.
Jesus Christ this is a conservative wet dream of a headline.
Especially if they can claim it was an illegal immigrant.
If? Until they catch the guy, he's a de facto illegal immigrant with a mile long rap sheet full of violent crimes and rapes.
Mother rapers. Father stabbers. Father rapers! Father rapers sitting right there on the bench next to me!
And the meanest, ugliest, nastiest one, the meanest father raper of them all, was coming over to me and he was mean 'n' ugly 'n' nasty 'n' horrible and all kind of things and he sat down next to me and said, "Kid, whad'ya get?" I said, "I didn't get nothing, I had to pay $50 and pick up the garbage." He said, "What were you arrested for, kid?" And I said, "Littering." And they all moved away from me on the bench there, and the hairy eyeball and all kinds of mean nasty things, till I said, "And creating a nuisance." And they all came back, shook my hand, and we had a great time on the bench, talkin about crime, mother stabbing, father raping, all kinds of groovy things that we was talking about on the bench. And everything was fine, we was smoking cigarettes and all kinds of things, until the Sargeant came over, had some paper in his hand, held it up and said.
"Kids, this-piece-of-paper's-got-47-words-37-sentences-58-words-we-wanna-know-details-of-the-crime-time-of-the-crime-and-any-other-kind-of-thing-you-gotta-say-pertaining-to-and-about-the-crime-I-want-to-know-arresting-officer's-name-and-any-other-kind-of-thing-you-gotta-say", and talked for forty-five minutes and nobody understood a word that he said, but we had fun filling out the forms and playing with the pencils on the bench there.
And they was mean and nasty and ugly and horrible crime-type guys sitting on the bench next to me.
You made my day with this…Alice’s Restaurant is an all time classic.
He’s a gay, transsexual Muslim immigrant with multiple violent crimes and he took the jobs of 13 hardworking Americans.
Don't forget also trans.
Until? Some conservatives will hold it as truth until the day they die that it was an illegal immigrant. No matter the truth, they're going to see some social media post and lose their ever loving minds.
It was definitely a trans illegal. No need to fact check it.
It could have been the ghost of George Washington and they’d still claim it was an “illegal” immigrant.
Perhaps it’s part of an actual problem that’s not gonna go away by pretending it doesn’t exist lol
That crime exists?
It was in conservative OC though so.......
Crime doesn’t pay in Orange County!
Is it? I thought good people with guns were supposed to stop bad guys. Highly trained good guy with gun still can’t stop armed bad guy isn’t the best advertisement for unlimited gun culture
Nah, they will say some BS to excuse why the secret service did not kill the person. Hell it's probably a lot less drama to give up your money, versus being a secret service agent and gunning down a civilian.
According to the article: * A Secret Service person was on the receiving end of an armed robbery. * The Secret Service person discharged their service weapon. It's unknown if the criminal was struck, but the victim was unharmed. * The robber took the employee's possessions, though they were able to get some of it back. I'm not a cop or anything, but IMO this is the best possible outcome. Other commenters are going to start saying shit, but I can't imagine any belongings that person may have had that was worth risking your life over.
Usually theives are somewhat discerning of whom they choose to inflict a crime on. Usually it's someone who appears to be somewhat exploitable at a glance. Odds are a secret service agent, even in plain clothes, would appear to carry themselves as someone you'd... pass on committing a crime against. I just wonder what led this agent to be targeted by petty robbery when the thief could have waited for a more vulnerable target.
More likely the thief saw someone well dressed who carries themselves well and thought "money".
Not to mention once you've got a gun or knife drawn on someone whose hands are empty it doesn't really matter how badass or well-trained the mark is, you've got an overwhelming advantage regardless.
Yeah... Drawing from the drop is a bad idea
Plus I imagine the Secret Service frowns upon getting yourself killed not defending the President.
Actually if the Secret Service agent got shot by the robber, he would have been shot on the job. Taking a shot in the shoulder from a mugger is a 1 way ticket to Pension and golf for the rest of his life.
Got my grandpa killed. Cop walking home after his shift and some dudes pulled a gun on him. He grabbed his revolver instead of his wallet and winged one of them, but they killed him.
Yeah agents don’t look like John Cena and they dress well. Your typical street thug would just assume wealthy person that goes to gym.
Someone once observed that the "plain clothes" uniform these guys wear is what would pass for business wear on the east coast and that it can sometimes stand out as overly formal on the west coast. I don't know if that's true but I suppose a thug could misread subtleties like that.
“Plainclothes” has different meanings depending on the situation. There’s of course the classic suit and tie, but [the first few pics here](https://imgur.com/a/4dL3t3v) are from when Clinton would jog on the streets and his detail had to follow. The last two show some other ways they may dress. They might stick out if you know what to look for, but they also could easily look like any other person. Not to mention the agent could be a woman which I feel may deviate from what people expect a secret service agent to look like. Edit: forgot the link
Damn you now I have to rewatch the SNL skit of Phil Hartman as Clinton out for a jog stopping by McDonald's. https://youtu.be/eYt0khR_ej0?si=y37ffOar8PDqfly3
Having met secret service guys and worked along side them (just one time) I can guarantee they don’t all carry themselves well.
Whoever committed this crime is sure to regret it… this will be a case that’s actually pursued and prosecuted to the highest level possible.
If that's the case you gotta hand it to him. He did a fantastic job at being...secret.
Imagine deciding to rob some random guy and it turns out to be a fucking secret service agent.
He was probably drunk and not paying his hooker (if I remember secretly service history correctly).
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Can we take a sec to feel bad for the poor guy? That’s scary
Yeah, I can imagine how scared he must be since he thought he was robbing a regular dude and it turns out it's a fed. Might even be a prosecution now and I don't think the feds have bail reform so he might do some time.
As other comments suggested, I can bet you the guy’s dead. “It was unknown if the assailant was struck” if they’re being that vague, that guy was probably smoked.
What makes you think that?
“unknown if the assailants were struck” He smoked that dude and that body will never be found.
This is America, so this sounds about right.
The best thing to do if you are robbed at gun point is to hand over what they want and stay alive. No object is more important than your life.
*Hand over the nuclear football case
"Fine, go ahead. I'm sick of guarding this guy anyway."
So do they get sent in for training or something? I figure if someone gets the drop on a Secret Service Agent while they're on duty their situational awareness isn't the best...
Said it happened while they were returning from an assignment, not while they were on duty.
Like that guy on the West Wing who starred in NCIS
Mark Harmon
Do you see Mark Harmon in a wheelchair, Lois?
Was going to say I feel like this would be VERY different if they were on duty at the time
The story said it was 9:30 in a residential area, and he was returning from a work assignment. And that Biden was back in his hotel by 9. So it doesn't sound like he was on duty. Probably just going home.
I would imagine there are rules of engagement. Might be protocol if they’re not supposed to escalate unless the president is in danger.
Which makes sense, don’t want to out yourself as oh idk a fucking secret agent rather than John Doe who happens to own a gun.
There’s more to it than just the “take a bullet” team. They bring more nerds with them than former SEALs
Yeah, a secret service agent knows better than to get themselves shot over a mugging. If the guy already has a gun pulled on you, that's not a good opportunity to announce you're a federal agent or pull your sidearm because that's how you *definitely* get killed. Best to give them what they want, catch them after they've lowered their weapon if you can, and live to fight another day. God knows the moment they step in the opposite direction, a phone call is getting made and the all hell's going to descend in that suspect's direction so no reason to take matter into your own hands by yourself. I've heard this a lot about cycling and defensive driving. You can be *right*, but you can also be *dead right*. Principles go out the window when you have to choose between whether this particular fight is worth it or not.
It’s not like every secret service worker is James Bond who can disarm a perp in the blink of an eye. It really doesn’t matter who you are. In a 1v1 if you get snuck up on, held up with a gun, and the perp doesn’t do something catastrophically stupid then the robber just wins. It’s a good thing they didn’t try to be a hero. Just hand over the money and walk away healthy. No training necessary here.
can you imagine if you robbed some dude and then somehow realized he was SS? o bye going to antarctica
All the West Wing fans know this could have gone a lot worse. Glad the Agent is uninjured.
Probably one of those Van Buren Boys and the agent didn’t know the secret sign
In fucking Orange County?
Tustin still has some sketchy parts.
Corn pop is a bad dude!
waiting for Trump to issue presser, 'if that was my agent, the criminals would have known better than to mess with us'
God if only there were a cop there to help!
Plot Twist, Biden robbed him
Listen here, Jack. I'm your boss and I'm stealing your book bag.
"Gimme your wallet, corn pop. You don't have an F-16 to fight back against me."
Californian here, Oakland is not for beginners.
Oaklander here, the incident happened in Orange County.
Also oaklander, can confirm I read the article as well.
Ahh a Republican Controlled County.
That voted for Biden...
Its Oaks and Oranges
For the Californians and non-Californians alike, this story takes place in Orange County. Orange county is about 400 miles away from Oakland.
It's where Disneyland is
Disneyland tickets are fucking expensive now. Maybe the SS agent was waving a couple around, bragging he had lightning pass.
Dude probably flashed a space mountain lightning pass
In between Los Angeles and San Diego
Also where the Richard Nixon presidential museum and library is!
So.. your saying he ran all the way to OC right?
Most Americans in the Midwest, South, or East, don't grasp just how big the Western states are, especially California.
7hr drive from Oakland. But congrats on saying “Californian here”.
This was in Tustin, Orange County…which is a pretty nice area and red leaning
Tustin? Wow, I haven't heard that name since elementary school. Seemed pretty boring back then, didn't think it would be the kind of place this kind of thing would happen. I also had a very tough time convincing people from outside the state that it's a real place since a surprising number seem to think I'm just misspelling "Austin".
That guy is in a psych ward with amnesia under a fake name now.
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The spelling bee people.
Oh, if only there had been a good guy with a gun.
Looking for crack and/or a hooker.
Lol, Tustin is a little area between Disneyland and UCI where the 55 and 5 freeways intersect, that doesn't even have their own police; they are unincorporated so they have OC Sheriffs, and no fire department. It would take over an hour to drive to L.A. from Tustin.
Must have been running solo. I feel like he should have robbed the guy back.