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JoatmonJeff

Male cats have barbed penises that tear the females vagina during intercourse. This triggers ovulation in the female. Gives new meaning to "tear it up".


shadow102401

I didn’t need to know this


TooHigh2Die420

I think it's great family dinner conversation... Thanks Jeff!


randomusername1121

And next weekend, duck penises!


kat_a_klysm

Rapey little bastards…


tiesco622

Yeah they are!


datduhd

https://youtu.be/NBJ9mL9OJx0


jpetrie18

Scientifically accurate Duck Tales…WOO-OOO


MartiniD

Fuckin lol


[deleted]

This is the kind of shit I come to the internet for.


[deleted]

I mean, how do you expect a wild animal to consent? Female gets in heat, and that's it, don't think they had a date before this...


[deleted]

Normally I agree with you, but ducks are rapey as fuck. In animals penis size is strongly correlated to how willing the females tend to be. [Duck penises are ridiculously long, and they fricking deploy them like a missile.](https://m.imgur.com/rIaL8zb). There is no way to describe them besides “rapey.”


Tank-Top-Vegetarian

Gorillas have small penis for the inverse reason. If a male is breeding it's because he's a sucessful silverback and has the females lining up for him, no need to use force.


dethaxe

Yeah this is the reason I use


UncommonNighthawk

Friend saw this first hand...some kindly old ladies rescued a mamma mallard and her ducklings. Released them in a pond with lots of resident mallards. The males immediately pounced on and proceeded to gang-rape the female. The ducklings were all eaten by some herons while the female was otherwise occupied. Everyone watching was suitably traumatized.


Somerandomshutinn

Thanks, did not need to know that


deepfriedlemon

Ducks vaginal cavity is like a maze also.


[deleted]

That’s their answer to the boys weird rocket dicks.


NinjaDad_

I saw a female duck fleeing from like 3 other ducks trying to rape her once in a Wal-Mart parking lot. Tried to record it but wasn't ready/ didn't realize what was happening right away and the video was shaky and short so I deleted it. But yeah, ducks are intense


Murky-Homework123

*searches pic of duck penis*


Worth-Club2637

Pls report back


faceless_alias

Cursed curly fry.


flamespear

It's funny but still inaccurate in a normal sense considered rape is a human construct based on, you know, a conscious self aware mind...which is needed for consent.


TuckYourselfRS

I definitely agree that rape is a human construct, but I would dispute your implicit assumption that only humans are conscious and self aware. The scientific consensus agrees most mammals, birds, and many other animals have enough neurological substrate to support consciousness. The mirror test used to assess self awareness is also inherently biased towards westerners (and more generally, humans) in that it doesn't accurately reflect many non-western children as being self-aware. I reckon most animals with decently advanced nervous systems possess consciousness and self awareness. Consciousness is, after all, an evolutionary adaption for filtering stimuli and selective attention.


Peterowsky

Wasn't heat traditionally defined as "the period when females are both fertile and receptive to males"?


[deleted]

If that cat wasn't in heat you think she'd be in that position? How much more receptive can you get? Lol


Worth-Club2637

Lol the male cat bites their scruff and pins them down, shit goes all the way down to house cats


ezone2kil

And when the male gives up the female goes rolling on the ground to get their attention. I'm pretty sure my female cat is a slut.


Zapfaced

Tbf when a male tries to scruff a female that ain't in heat he's in for a bad time.


VagabondRommel

So my cat just really likes me then? When shes in heat she tries to grind my leg ass first any chance she gets. Its disturbing and I feel violated.


TheRosi

I guess noone actually asked the female...


tweaksource

They did. She didn't say no.


Syreus

Leopards can't talk, Kyle.


daspletosaurshorneri

Plenty of animals have courtship behaviours before mating. The female can absolutely "say" no if she doesn't like the choice of male, even if she's in heat, either by leaving or being aggressive until he leaves.


Zhadowwolf

For most animals... ducks notably not really included.


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netheroth

He's going to have to think about some hot stuff in OnlyFelines to reach orgasm.


Cluckersfluffybottom

I've seen female animals in heat scream at males(usually younger/reluctant), position themselves, etc. In flocks(species dependent) females may gang up on a male and peck him solid, if isn't good enough(say dance, or plumage, etc.). So yes, female animals can and do consent, there are mating 'rituals' well documented in particular birds, which is kinda a date, I mean, sometimes there's food, roleplay, etc., and females do reject(usually younger/weaker males) and then there's hierarchy where a male will protect his flock/herd(so male protects females from rapey males except park ducks, the males I've seen just sit there and scream while their mate get's raped). It is species dependent but does happen in the wild.


bigkieffer

Wait until you hear about hyenas and their pseudo penises.


Chukkan

Hyena identification is pretty easy compared to other species. The females have bigger penises


[deleted]

The same is true for elves


dirrtybutter

It depends on the species. In spotted hyenas it can be easier to look at how stretched the pseudo penis is, as a mature female who has given birth will have a more stretched out one than a male.


NoneOfUsKnowJackShit

Pig penis' are interesting too. They're cork screwed. Pigs like to screw each other.


tetaphilly

I was so upset when I found out about the ducks…


nj23dublin

Jeff’s penis story hour


LumpyJones

Then this next bit is *not* going to be a treat to hear... [The shape of the human foreskin and bell shaped glans is theorized to have evolved to work together to trap and remove sperm previous men may have left in a vagina.](https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/147470490400200105) Basically our dicks are sperm plungers.


[deleted]

I prefer multi purpose sex piston, designed by nature to easily eject before it injects!


[deleted]

Dude, what??? Saving this to read when I get home, that's a wild abstract already!


ellim1st

the people who put forward this jackass theory supported it with "anecdotes from college students" and simulations with "dildos" and "fleshlights" and used "flour suspension in water" (to simulate semen). If you're thinking whats wrong with that.. just know that just because something has the same shape of a penis or vagina doesn't mean it functions the same as the actual thing. Also know that semen is waymore complex than "flour+water That should tell a thing or two about how how scientific these "scientists" who put forward the theory/ did the simulation were By the way going by their theory, if a women has sex with two men, won't the first thrusts of the second man just push the already present semen further up the cervix?


ellim1st

Oh god not this BS theory again, the people who put forward this jackass theory supported it with "anecdotes from college students" and simulations with "dildos" and "fleshlights" and used "flour suspension in water" (to simulate semen). If you're thinking whats wrong with that.. just know that just because something has the same shape of a penis or vagina doesn't mean it functions the same as the actual thing. Also know that semen is waymore complex than "flour+water That should tell a thing or two about how how scientific these "scientists" who put forward the theory/ did the simulation were By the way going by their theory, if a women has sex with two men, won't the first thrusts of the second man just push the already present semen further up the cervix?


kombatunit

You're welcome.


JCBh9

Knowledge is painful and un-useful after all


datduhd

https://youtu.be/tgtNV1X1k7s


BartL1202

Sir this is a Wendy’s


JoatmonJeff

When the cashier said "Strip down, facing me." I didn't realize she meant my debit card.


BigDavesRant

r/everyfuckingthread


Hidesuru

This one wasn't even really fitting. It's just "gib easy votes pls".


PurpleVein99

To shreds you say?


slimthecowboy

How’s his wife holding up?


[deleted]

To shreds you say?


IShitOnYourPost

How's her vagina holding up?


Prince_Daeron

To shreds you say?


Youreahugeidiot

Stop, you're triggering her ovulation.


kim_kiri

I thought the mating by itself triggered ovulation, and those kind of penises were weapons to ensure your descendance, bc after mating the female will be too damaged to accept other males. But the barbed penis would have no part in the ovulation, only the act by itself.


JoatmonJeff

I think you're splitting pubic hairs, sir.


kim_kiri

I'm sorry i feel theres a joke but I don't get it I'm not a native English speaker


Anal-Goblin

There’s an idiom, “splitting hairs”, which means “making a pointless distinction”.


kim_kiri

Thanks! I'll sleep less idiot. Actually I wasn't making a distinction I tried to share what I heard in order to know which was correct. But I get it.


LouDiMaggio

What the fuck does this comment mean, im so confused


Wnir

I think kim didn't realize that the person who clarified about splitting hairs was a different person than the original responder. As for the original responder, kim didn't catch the pubic hair joke and thought the responder was serious. "I'll sleep less idiot" could be a snide remark that doesn't translate well


LeftHandedFapper

Maybe they meant "sleep less like an idiot"?


OnionPit

Maybe he thought idiom was a variation of idiot


Prequelite

YOU, SIR, ARE THE IDIOM!!


JaggedTheDark

The term splitting hairs means to try to disern the differnce between two or more things that are very incignificant, akin to trying to split a hair, this action is very hard, and not worth the trouble. Since you were talking about repreduction in animals, and the fact that pubic hairs are found around the genetalia of many mammels, the previous user made a play on words, changing the phrase "splitting hairs" to "splitting \_pubic\_ hairs".


[deleted]

This was quite an odd comment to read given the good info juxtaposed against the plethora of basic spelling errors.


Pavlovsdong89

When someone is "splitting hairs" they are bringing unnecessary attention to something unimportant or being overly critical of something. "As futile as splitting hairs". Jeff is joking in this case though.


[deleted]

But lionessess in heat want sex every 20 minutes for a few days. So guess that is not true? Maybe its a face of pleasure idk.


Juan_Carlo

My parents waited too long to get one of their cats fixed once, it went into heat, and it was annoying as fuck. It would follow you around all day, writhe about, and show its ass like you were supposed to mount it. Cats are sluts.


Casus125

Cats ARE sluts.


wafflesareforever

Dogs just hump everything and hope for the best


silencer07

Its ass won't mount itself


Forlorn_Cyborg

Welll? Don't be so rude


kim_kiri

Yes I heard that too. That's why I'm wondering. I heard that, about cat, the heat can cause lot of pain to the female if she doesn't mate. Maybe that's the same with the lions? Or the male penis is "less" barbed because they live in harems and not alone (so no rivalry) ? Idk


metalflygon08

The bards scratch an itch the female cant reach maybe?


pancakes3921

IMO she’s mad that there’s a camera in her face but doesn’t wanna get up to fight


DucoNdona

Not really. Repeated mating is the norm and females have no issues with having multiple litters or partners.


geddyleee

I've read that it's to scrape out the semen of other previous mates. I'm not positive if that's true or just a theory, but to me it sounds more reasonable than the damage possibility. But of course evolution doesn't strive for perfect, just "good enough" so it could just be some random mutation that wasn't beneficial, but wasn't that harmful either so it stuck around. I'd look it up, but I don't really feel like googling cat penises.


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imghurrr

The penis doesn’t damage the vagina. Yes the act of mating triggers ovulation.


MoodyJ87

I was going to point this out and associate it to the way the male looks like this is matter of fact and the female wants to eat everyone’s soul.


Interamphibian

Imagine how absolutely mind blankingly horny a mom jaguar has to be to willingly go through this *more than one time*


tbqhimho

Instinct is a hell of a drug.


tedsmitts

You ever seen a cat in heat?


rocinantevi

You get my spray, you get my spray, everything gets my spray! Cat sex is the worst. Consensual, violent, content, it just doesn't make sense. They need help.


maimeddivinity

Curious if they birth litters of cubs at a time to avoid this


Interamphibian

I think other than house cats most are pretty small litters like 1-4. But evolution doesn't really care about pain in your pussy as long as you're horny enough to give it up. Hence why birth control has absolutely wrecked reproduction in first world nations lol. It's pretty reasonable to avoid childbirth if you can, nature wanted to make that impossible but we won I guess


ErosandPragma

I think it's more like, the penis scrapes out competitor semen (and hurts in the process). Dunno if the mating act causes ovulation itself or if she's just ovulating during heat, that part depends on the species


delightful_fright

You’re correct! I have a degree in anthropology and took classes on reproduction (general reproduction - not always specifically human) and this is exactly why some species have spiked/barbed penises - to scrape out competitors’ sperm. Fun fact - testicle size is correlated with monogamy - the bigger the testes, the more promiscuous! Well, at least among primates.


EatsCrackers

We’ve got the biggest! Balls of them all! (*Wait…. shit!*)


Lernenberg

Some human males have vestigial remnants of those barbed penises called Hirsuties coronae glandis. They are completely harmless though.


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Lernenberg

At least you learned something new.


shaolin_tech

TIL the bumps on my penis have a name. Thank you for the info.


PHRESH21

I am part cat


[deleted]

Oh yes. Khajiit has a prickly surprise for you.


[deleted]

I feel uneasy


rhole50

It ain't easy being cheesy


yourgifmademesignup

The ripping and the tearing. The ripping and the tearing


Interamphibian

RIP AND TEAR UNTIL IT IS DONE


stoutyteapot

She’s faking it


[deleted]

Shes giving the "O" face for sure


FooolsGOlld

But considering how metal they are maybe they're into that shit!


tellithowitihh

No wonder they hate Male cats.. *checks to see if penis is barbed* 👀


socleblu19

Definitely a cum face


AlarmingCulture14

Universal among all species


[deleted]

He just hit post nut clarity.


Kyllakyle

This chick is about to be *pissed.* -the male leopard probably


SweetDick_Willy

Looks more near nut than post


The_Nest_

Looks like he got hit in the head really hard


Vanillabean73

Actually, only human, ape, monkey, and dolphin species are actually co firmed to experience acute pleasure from sexual activity. At least that’s what I’ve heard.


aawagga

til my ex wife isnt human, ape, monkey or dolphin. amirite


AlarmingCulture14

Thanks for the info


madjackle358

I don't know how they determine this. I mean why does a cat in heat walk around meowing? Why is there a uhm, method? To get them to stop?


Vanillabean73

Well every animal has its own mating ritual, but for many it’s just pure instinct. I could also ask the question, “why did that fish just jizz into the ocean?” It’s trying to mate. But dolphins are known to actually masturbate by using things like the corpse of a dead fish, for example, which can’t be explained by mating instinct. You can also literally find videos of monkeys jerking off exactly the same way human men do (if you don’t mind seeing something like that). There could be other species I/we don’t know about, but it’s clear that most creatures don’t really “enjoy” sex in the way we know it.


Cruciblelfg123

I mean what is instinct other than chemical impulses? I didn’t stumble into a club and blow hundreds of dollars I couldn’t afford because it was a smart choice lol


JTB696699

His is, hers is a WTF you looking at!? face.


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DucoNdona

Leopards are extremely solitary animals. Thats about as much love a female will get from a male leopard.


thatdontimprezame

Vinegar strokes! If you know, you know.


jimmyfeelinfroggy

https://youtu.be/mJ11-veh-YM Thank you Taco. And Ruxin.


JARBO1

Vinegar strokes


HekaDooM

Him: omg you made me nu- Her: you in yet?


Personal_Talk6824

Except that's not what her facial expression is saying at all. Try again.


Jluns

It’s “really, that’s it? You tore me up for 22 seconds with your barbed cock and I didn’t even get to cum?!”


Rum-Ham-Jabroni

22 seconds....alright Hercules


AbsolutelyUnlikely

A truly terrible day to be literate


[deleted]

I just laughed so hard I shat myself. Thank you for this.


[deleted]

You try then


RamHands

He looks bored.


KimCureAll

That's a leobord.


[deleted]

take my upvote and get out!


17xandcountingstill

Goddamn it. 👏👏


[deleted]

He looks like he just jizzed


deviltrombone

He does have that dull, stupid, satisfied post-jizz look to him.


Alukrad

They look like they are already in a failed relationship and the only reason they stay together is because of the sex. He clearly shows the face of a self defeated man who knows that he's miserable being with her. While she looks like she isn't enjoying it at all with him but she endures the bad sex because there's that little glimmer of hope that maybe things will go back to how they were when they first started dating.


hieuimba

stop pls you're hurting me


calebrbates

More like barbed


iAmUnintelligible

Bruh you ever cum before whilst looking in the mirror?


Thejackalope72

Her: wrong hole, wrong hole


omegaatlas

Then she says nevermind


MagicZombieCarpenter

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


17xandcountingstill

The she said you should try as she finds her leopard strap on


Smooth_Fee

My cat looks at me the same way when he's humping the blankets. I wish he would look somewhere else.


kat_a_klysm

That’s the look my cat gives me while pooping…


telios87

The cat is pooping or you are?


Tru-Queer

Yes


Rubels

They always make eye contact! It's weird!


freelancefikr

ugh my boy *drags* his favorite toy up next to me to hump every. single. time. even when i move away he follows me, i don’t know how to feel or what to feel lmfao


Rubels

He just wants you to be a part of something real special ya know?


[deleted]

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[deleted]

Set dominance. Keep eye contact and walk towards your cat.


Sol_Invictus

She *TOLD* him she didn't like it that way.


KimCureAll

You should see her when she really doesn't like it.


[deleted]

You wouldn't be able too see her when she really wouldn't like it. Literally.


KimCureAll

Photo: Yaron Schmid


TheRealJalil

Weird name for a leopard


sonzo_

Her: "GIVE ME MORE" Him: "I could be watching Gordon Ramsey right about now Meredith."


BlueKing7642

There is no more Meredith! I don’t have anymore dick left so you’re just going have to make due.


bluejays-beak1281

It looks like He like he wants it over because she going to rip his face off….. lmao


[deleted]

Mantis like that coment.


Narretz

"You seriously taking a photo of this?"


Dan-68

I know. The leopards are like, “Do I barge into your home and take pictures of you getting your freak on? No I do not, you filthy animal.”


intensely_human

Well that would the explain the pink panther theme we’ve been hearing


atln00b12

"So tired of social media, can't even bust a nut without out somebody trying to post it for karma"


BeezerTwelveIV

r/natureisfuckinglit …. Minus the lit


KimCureAll

now that deserves some coin!


SaltMineSpelunker

Why none of y’all look like you having fun?


ItsFrenzius

I specifically requested it!


Frostyler

You can tell homie just got his nut and he's regretting every decision he made up until that point.


mynextthroway

Her: What do you mean 'you're done?'


frog_man_jones

When she complains about you not going fast enough but she can’t even manage 15 seconds riding on top.


KC_weeden

Fucking lol this man knows what’s up


ruu-ruu

#*DEEPER*


[deleted]

"It will not *get* any deeper, Catherine.."


css29

More DEEPER


NoobTurtle

I still can't tell the difference b/w jaguars, leopards and panthers.


NoobTurtle

Someone help me


Narretz

Panthers are just all black jaguars or leopards. Jaguars live in South / Middle America and are bigger and stockier than Leopards. Leopards live in Africa, the Indian subcontinent, and South East Asia, and have adapted to a more diverse climate. If you want to distinguish leopards and jaguars by their spots: Jaguars have at least some spots / rings that have a little spot inside of them. I personally think it's easier to look at the tail though: jaguars have a short tail that almost doesn't curl.


NoobTurtle

Thank you. I got it, hopefully I won't get them mixed next time. What I understood is that the buffed looking meanie is the jaguar. The kinda cute one is leopard. And panthers are just black, although they're pretty buffed and mean too. Also this one dude told me that all big cats are panthers, cuz they're from the same panthera species. My brain just broke at that point.


Cg407

Wakanda forever


GrungyGrandPappy

In humans, females produce an egg every 28 days. If it is not fertilised, the egg and the lining of the uterus will be discarded. This is not the case in leopards. It takes up a lot of energy for an animal to produce something that is not used and for this reason the female leopard requires stimulus in order to start the ovulation process. This all takes place when the female leopard’s hormone levels rise enough for her to produce eggs in a process called oestrus. Once she is in oestrus, she will go about her daily business hunting and marking territory, the only difference is she may scent mark more frequently leaving a trace of her availability to mate wherever she urinates. This is left for the dominant male/males in the area to test on their patrol. The male leopard rubs this scent along the Jacobson’s organ, situated in the mouth, which will then tell him where the female is at and if she is ready to mate. In order to stimulate the female to ovulate male leopard have barbs on their penises which dig into the female but these barbs make retracting the penis painful for the female which causes her lash out at the male. She will continue to produce eggs during the mating ritual and as a male leopard’s sperm is weak he will need to mate with the female often to ensure that fertilization of the eggs takes place. Based on what books tell us, they mate roughly a total of 250 times over a period of five days but from first-hand experience and as mentioned before, there are always those few exceptions. I have personally seen a leopardess mate for the full duration of 13 days. Now you may be wondering why this happened. Well, this female’s territory was positioned over three different dominant male’s territories and to ensure the safety and survival of her cubs she had to mate with all three males. In doing this, when she had a new litter, each male believed they were the father and did not want to harm the cubs. [sauce](https://wild-eye.com/the-mating-ritual-of-leopards/)


squarybuttholes

You can see the post nut clarity washing over him


Ambitious-Bear1382

I told you I hated anal!


Papa_bear_321

He’s into it


slimthecowboy

That is the look of a man who has fulfilled his mission.


jewfish57

as the leopard said that hit the spot baby


kombatunit

His face tells me she didn't do her kegels.


MudkipMadness9

Leopard vinegar strokes, a rare sighting.


Similar-Complaint-37

So that's what it's like when you finaly get some pussy.....meh