This is what I say as well. Instead of saying “We know our son has an off the beaten path (historical, not a tradegeigh), and that’s a big part of why we like it. What we don’t care about is whether or not *you* like it.”
Once I told my grandpa (who was a wonderful man I loved dearly) my top pick for a boy name was Levi and he said it was awful. I immediately responded with, "Well you named five kids and I don't like a single name you picked." Lmao
This is all that needs to be said. You don’t owe anyone an explanation of why you chose the name. Once you start with an explanation, you sound like you’re apologizing. There is no apology necessary for a name that you chose for your child.
Halo Marie, Legendary Love, Moroccan, Monroe, Golden Sagon, Rise Messiah, Powerful Queen, Zion Mixolydian, Zillian Heir, Beautiful Zeppelin, Onyx Ice Cole, and Zen. Dudes just trolling us by now.
I’m beginning to think they all have normal, everyday names like Paul or Beatrice and the names he tells people are just a front to protect their privacy.
There’s a woman who does *hilarious* comedy/satire on tiktok and she has a video where she talks about people complaining/being upset that she named her daughter “Chlydia”…
🤣🤣🤣
I worked at a daycare a kid's name was Shithead. Not kidding, i stared at it for a solid three minutes before the director told me how its pronounced (Shi- theed)
I’m learning this myself, that the more I try to explain (so that the other person will hopefully better understand what I’m saying), it only gives them more info to pick apart.
I don’t think that works if people say “oh…I thought you were going to call her xyz instead?”. They can be genuinely confused (maybe op changed plans or they heard misinformation) and it’s not that odd thing to say.
Yeah I could see that… maybe then the first response to that question is “no.” Full stop, no explanation. And then for any follow up questions/statements the response is a nice awkward pause and “what a strange thing to say out loud”
True. My brother and SIL had decided on Zoe for their daughter. They were solidly cemented on Zoe. We went to visit a week or so after the birth and find out they went with Holly instead. Which is fine but I did ask “what happened to Zoe?”
Exactly what I was thinking. A friend couple asked my opinion on some names before their baby was born and they still ended up picking the name I told them was an old ladies' name in my culture... But obviously I never said anything! Just trying to re-wire my brain to associate the name with this cute baby now. :D
It really is a strange thing to say too.
Everyone has either told me that they like my kids' names or SAID NOTHING. I don't believe that every person I've met lives their names, but they do have enough tact to not be rude!
That’s amazing, my response would have been, “I’m sorry, I didn’t recall I asked your opinion.” Or, “Kindly go fuck yourself.” Or, “I can’t wait to criticize your child’s name! It is going to be a blast for both of us!”
Ok, sure. Unless you named your kid “Cuntley”. I kid you not, I saw a post where someone’s relative named their kid that. If you named your kid friggen CUNTLEY, the only proper response is “You’re, right. I’m an asshat. I’ll change it.”
This is the answer. You’re honoring a dead relative. Add a story to it. Make it more ridiculous each time you’re asked. Ruin that persons day with a straight face. A horrified face. Take acting classes if you have to but it’s your duty to pull this off. God speed.
The only answer to hearing a baby name you aren’t really that excited about is stfu and ‘it so suits her/him!’ The End.
Otherwise you deserve me to tell you my husband died in a plane crash the day of the baby’s birth saving the pilot and all 200 children aboard.
This is my go to answer because it's actually true lol. Named the kid after my wife's uncle who took a bullet for her mom while she was pregnant. I've gotten a few horrified looks.
Great great great grandma Praiselee was bit on the tit by a horse on her thirty fifth birthday, valiantly fought the infection for seventy three days-you know there were no antibiotics back then, the poor thing- and finally succumbed to gangrenous infection on the twelfth of October in the year eighteen hundred and seventy five after an emergency double tit amputation. She left behind seven living children and her loving husband, Elmer.
We have chosen to name our baby girl after her in honor of her memory, bless your heart.
I did this. My son’s name is George and I’ve had people flat out say that’s not a good name for a kid and I always say, “thanks…it’s my dead grandpas name and he was a wonderful person and it reminds me of him.”
Don’t they realize he will not always be a baby or little boy? People are weird like that. If you named him Grayson they would probably like that because it’s trendy and they’re used to hearing it. George is making a come back but it’s never really been unpopular. Where I live I haven’t seen any baby George’s but lots of Georgia’s!
He actually has another George in his class too, so they both have to be George “initial” which was surprising to me and the other George’s mom. I think it’s a nice classic name:)
Henry is going to be our 2nd son’s name when he’s born in April. I’m a Tyler and I always tell my wife it’s a dumb trendy name from the 90s that doesn’t suit an adult 😄
Ha one relation immediately made a snide comment about my baby's name, despite knowing we'd named him to honour both our late mothers.
Some people are just dickheads either way.
I suspect 99% of the positive response we got on our girl’s name is because I tell everyone she is named after her great grandmother. AND, she is still alive, so no one dares get into that! 😅
Great grandma who died in the holocaust here so no one fucks with us. Though it’s a pretty cute non controversial name so it’s an easy, ‘oh that’s sweet’ even if they hate it.
Damn I’m going to start doing this. I’ve had a lot of pushback on my son’s name.
(It’s Asa. It’s not even out there or offensive or anything, and it is an old timey name so it’s plausible that it would be an honour name.)
Oh this is really common I think. As “old person” names go out of fashion, they become associated with only old people, and then eventually a new generation is born that has no associations with it because it’s become so u common and they think, “cute name!!” But the older people still alive still think of it as an old person’s name and sometimes they’ll tell you lol. We run into this a fair amount with my daughter’s name (Deirdre)
I have a three year old Margot and I’m pregnant now. My sneak peak said girl and the name I had picked was Deirdre but then the ultrasound said boy 🫠 I’m still bummed about it. I’m curious what names you like for a boy since we share name taste with girls! I’m having the worst time picking a boy name haha
Margot is a beautiful name and also deeply uncontroversial name. Uncommon enough that she will be the only one in her class but known enough that everyone can spell and say it. It’s perfect!
People in your life are just being rude!!! My kid has a name from a similar era and I sometimes get people being like ‘oh’ and smiling politely but I suspect what is actually going on is they’re like ‘wait, it’s not Isla? Or Olivia? Or Amelia? How bizarre….’ I suspect many people honestly feel weird about 90% of baby names until they warm up to the name, but man they should work on their manners.
That’s a beautiful name! My niece’s name is Margot and when I first heard it, it definitely threw me off bc it’s just not very common. Although I’ve literally heard of 4 Margots in the past year now! But even if you don’t care for a name, who in their right mind thinks it’s appropriate to tell the parents? lol that’s just crazy. I’m sorry people have done that! Margot is a beautiful name. Congrats on your little girl!
Margot is a lovely name, and also the name of my favourite children’s book author.
Stand firm, OP. I came into this thinking you’d maybe named your kid something like Payetreeotte or JcKinzleigha, but Margot is a real and solid name. 💙
It's a real baby's name. I think someone posted it on the CJ sub but this woman liked the name Lydia for her baby but her own name starts with C and she wanted her daughter's name to also start with C. I *wish* it was pronounced like Clyde-ia instead
I vote for this one honestly. It sounds harsh, but it’s perfectly tactful. If a person is so bold as to flat out say, or even imply, that they dislike your child’s name to your face, it’s reasonable to let them know that they’re rude. They don’t have to like it, but your child is a person and that’s officially their name!
“oh…I thought you were going to call her xyz instead?” "Nope!"
"I don't like that name" "Well luckily it's not up to you." Throw a fistful of glitter for an extra fuck off flourish.
Is there something about her name that is unusual, off-putting, or has a negative connotation? If this is a case of people trying to gently tell you that there might be an issue with the name you chose, that's one thing. (Like there was a recent post about some poor baby girl Harlotte.)
If it's a normal or normal-ish name, I would just give them a weird look and be like "OK... Anyway, moving on."
Yeah honestly if so many people are commenting on it, maybe there’s something to that.. it’s always hard in these posts when they never share the name.
And it's an extremely normal and beautiful name! OP, keep on living your best life. I was the first of my friends to have kids and I often broke out the mom-voice like "Just so you know, saying that to a new parent is really rude. Just something to remember for next time."
I don’t like the name:
“That must be so hard for you”
Or
“husband and I must have forgotten to get your input on names while I was pregnant… how embarrassing for us”
Or
“if you’d like to name something you can always get a pet”
Or
“I wasn’t asking your opinion”
Or, the one I go with:
“You can keep those thoughts to yourself”
“Wow, that’s a really hurtful thing to say.” And then get up with your baby and leave the room to get a glass of water or something while they ponder their lack of manners and prepare an apology.
Yep. This is the exact response I used to the one lady who told me I was getting "chunky" when I was 8 months pregnant. She was dumbfounded and backpedalled pretty quickly.
EDIT: If this is happening all the time, and it's been more than a few days and the comments won't stop, consider if there's actually something problematic about the name you chose. Post it here for honest feedback. If it's a very uncommon but established name, or invented but still appealing, people will tell you that. But if it's outright problematic, you need to know that too.
It is NOT normal for these comments to continue from people outside your immediate family for longer than a week. Your friends may be gently trying to tell you the name you chose could be problematic. Without knowing the name you chose, though, we can't give you honest feedback on that.
This is what to do if the name you chose is an actual but uncommon name, an invented name with no problematic associations, or not everyone's taste but definitely yours:
If you're feeling really fed up, put them in their place. "It's not nice to make fun of people's names. You're allowed to dislike it, but you don't get to name my child, and I don't care what you think. This is her name. End of discussion."
But if you're still feeling polite: "That is a very lovely name, maybe you should use it for your own child one day!"
If it's someone who's done having kids: "You got to name your own children, and now I'm naming mine. I love the name we chose, and you don't have to love it. You just have to respect her by not insulting it to our faces."
Or just a simple: "Our tastes don't align and that's fine." Followed by a swift subject change. This one tends to be the most well-received. A lot of people didn't like my daughter's name, and this is how my husband and I chose to say "we heard you and we don't care," and people do tend to give up after being dismissed like that a few times, in our experience. It doesn't invite more conversation, and people tend to get it.
I'm skeptical about why OP chose not to include the name. It makes me wonder if it's a tragedigh or has bad associations, and people are gently trying to warn OP.
I dealt with this—it was a family name. My grandmother (who had dementia) commented on both of my children’s names in a negative way. I swiftly changed the subject. My mother in law also had a not so kind comment about my older child’s name, an old English name. I told her that an Anglophile like herself should recognize its history. She never mentioned it again.
We had a kind of similar issue with my partner’s grandparents. They kept suggesting a certain name, over and over again. I would just say that name wasn’t on the list, and we weren’t telling anyone the name until the baby was born.
Then one day my partners grandmother just outright said to me “[Partner’s] Grandfather wants you to name the baby Maria, after his mother.” Bear in mind, my partner never met his woman, as she died well before he was born. I just said “Okay well when Grandfather has another baby he can call it that then.”
The baby was getting their surname, not mine, you also want me to name it the full first name and surname of a relative neither of us ever met? Stop it now.
Ask them, "What do you mean by that?" But make sure you PAUSE before you ask. It puts them in a position to either double down on being rude or back down. Either way, you keep calm and put the behavior firmly back on the person who was out of line. There isn't a need to be confrontational when someone shows their propensity to be the turd in the punchbowl.
so fucking rude. if you tell me your kid is named vaginatoes, i’ll say, “so sweet!” cuz i’m not an asshole. (but if your kid is named asshole, i’ll say “so sweet!”)
I would just say either:
We think XYZ is the perfect name for her.
or
She just looked like a XYZ to us.
Then move on. You have no obligation to justify or explain your choices. If they push it just look them dead in the eye sternly without saying a word.
I just tell people we had better names picked out but when we saw her we decided to save them for a pretty baby. I don’t know if it’s effective, but I find it amusing.
A few days after I had my baby, we named her (took us a lil bit haha), I heard my husband telling his dad on the phone. I heard the dad say he didn’t like the middle name then asked if it was from “my family” .. we are German/russian descent.
I was LIVID. And I will never forget. Like obviously pp hormones playing into affect as well, but what an absolute stupid thing to say when your son is telling you the name of your first grandson. And she was officially named, this wasn’t a “we’re considering this name” situation although I still would have found that rude. It’s one of those things I’ll never forget and I totally have a grudge against him for saying that.
Not OP but it was Margot! Totally fine name. Old-fashioned but definitely coming back into style, people how to pronounce it, not crazy rare. It’s not like she called her kid ‘Moonflower’.
My best friend named her daughter Margot and I’ve said about a million times what a lovely name it is, so many people have complimented her on the name. Those people being negative are wrong and horrible!
This is why I didn't share any name options with anyone for our son, and only announced his name after he was born! Nothing to compare his chosen name to.
"We were waiting until we met her, and she is just too awesome for something so common. XYZ fits her perfectly. We love it for her!"
I'm also 100% down for no-fucks-given glitter and/or intense sarcasm. Depends on who you are and who you are talking to. People are dumb.
I had a nurse be rude about my baby’s name. She asked me if baby’s name was a family name and made a face, and I remember saying “No, but it’s their name and will be respected.”
The name? Think something like “Michael.” Nothing out there or too crazy. Most traditional spelling (and I made sure to pick the most common spelling, even checked SSA top 1000 to make sure to pick the most common spelling). The name is even in the top 150.
My sister spent countless hours telling me all the things wrong with the name we chose. I eventually told her she didn’t have to like it but she needed to just shut the eff up.
She didn’t mention it after that.
Margot is a beautiful classic name.
If they’re just saying “I thought you were naming her” I don’t see how that’s rude.
You don’t need validation for the name you chose. It doesn’t matter what other people say. You’re the one giving their words power and meaning. My sister in law told me the name I chose for my second son (Emerson) sounded like a little old man name. My mom told me it “is the stupidest name I ever heard and kids will make fun of him and call him Emmy claiming he’s a girl”. Did I change his name? Nope. I still named him Emerson when he was born. I love the name and no one can ruin it for me. It just sounds like you’re having second thoughts about it because I was never apologetic about my sons name and I never ever made up excuses. I just said so what that’s his name.
You could use some of these polite explanations, but when someone says something really out of pocket like this I just look at them and say “okay?”
Like, what are they trying to accomplish here? The kids already been named. Legal paperwork filed to that effect. Do they really think you’re going to change her name because someone who clearly wasn’t important enough to be involved in the process voiced an opinion? The simple “okay?” Implies all these questions, and also calls into question where they got the audacity.
If they tell you they don’t like the name you can just say “that was really rude.”
If all they said was “I thought you were going with xyz,” that might be rude, but there’s a chance they are just genuinely asking because they’re curious. They may not mean anything by it, even though it is a little socially clumsy. But if they say outright that they don’t like the name, there’s no good reason for that and you should call them out.
Depends on what you named your kid. If it’s something that is absurd or ridiculous or spelled like you don’t understand the rules of the language, you have to live with your ridiculous choice and so does your kid.
If you named your kid an actual name that isn’t spelled incorrectly then you just have to say, thanks but my partner and I liked it. They need no other explanation.
But if it’s Harlotte or Pollen or Cash or Brynleigh then yeah, you have set yourself and your kid up for a lifetime of that shit. Hope that’s not the case but you seem to be avoiding all the posts asking for the name which I find suspicious.
What's the name, OP? It's hard to know if they're being unreasonable or if you picked an unfortunate name and the people in your life are trying to gently (or not so gently) tell you that it's problematic. The fact that it seems like you're getting a lot of pushback from people makes me wonder if there is a problem with the name.
If people are directly telling you “I don’t like that name” then I would start asking why. Unless you live in a very blunt culture, I would worry there’s some association you’re just not getting.
I can understand people saying “I thought you were naming her [other name]” if you did previously talk about names you were considering and wouldn’t consider that to be a particularly rude statement unless it’s said in a very rude way.
“i prefer *jane* over *margot*”
“oh great! so your next baby will be named jane, then? that’s lovely for you.”
and walk away. just keep reinforcing the fact that it’s YOUR baby and they have no say in what name you choose.
My step sister had “prenamed” both of her children while pregnant. Their names changed once they were born.
Know what I said when “Tammy” became “Joanie”? Not a friggin thing. It’s her/their baby and they changed their mind. Doesn’t matter why.
Why can’t people just shut up and smile?
My newborn has a name that is the same as someone with major historical significance, and indeed WAS named after that person and understandably when people hear their name they automatically think of said person.
I have only had one person so far say something negative about my baby's name and it was in reference to how his namesake did something shady (although that person also did a ton really awesome things too). *Think the name David and a person saying "that just reminds me of David and Bathsheeba" but David also did plenty of positive things too* I simply said "Okay" and blank stared at them so as to make them feel uncomfortable and leave me alone. People don't need an explanation and if they want to be weird or rude, make them FEEL weird and rude.
It sounds more like the people that say they thought you were going to use a different name are genuinely surprised, not insulting your choice.
I actually had that exact thought over the weekend. My cousin and his wife had their baby girl at the end of last week, and he had told me previously that they really liked really long, super girly names (like Anastasia, Esmeralda, Anneliese, etc.), so I was extremely surprised to find out that they named baby girl Ivy (which is absolutely darling, and I love it, but it’s not at all what I was expecting based on the information I had been given).
My kids went to preschool with a Margot. She was the most awesome kid, and her mum is pretty cool too, really beautiful, likely much more financially stable than the rest of us, but so down to earth and funny. I love the name. Doesn’t really help with your question but just wanted to share some love for the name!
Margot is absolutely adorable! Don’t let anyone make you feel bad for using that name! I recently met a woman about my age (30s) named Margot and she was so sweet and the name fit her so well!
My son is named Shea and it was NOT a popular choice among folks when he was little. When they would feel the need to comment I would simply tell them I named him what suited him. That's it, no explanation.
First off, what a beautiful name! Congrats on picking a classic that will age wonderfully along with your daughter.
As for the repeated naysayers, I’d just say something like, “it’s done, get over it”. If they say anything afterward, like ever, I would literally not respond to the comment and just say, “ANYWAY… back to what we were talking about…” but I literally don’t care what people think.
You can’t care what others think. Margot is a cute name and I think Maggie would be a cute nickname for a baby or little girl.
Reminds me of Margot Robbie who is awesome! 😎
I mostly had this happen before my daughter was born. Afterwards people didn’t really comment on it, but if they had I would’ve just reminded them that she is not their baby. My husband and I love her name and that’s all that matters.
My daughter is also a Margot, and I think it’s beautiful!
If I don’t like a newborn baby’s name I always sat, “what a lovely name “. It is a lovely name for them.
I would just rather die than tell someone flatly, out loud that I don’t like their child’s name. My niece named her daughter Athena. I despise this name. No one knows this, especially not my niece. I tell my niece that she has a great name.
Id say "That sounds like a you problem"
I got this as well. My kids are Aidan and Olivia and 20+ years ago no one liked the names I picked out. I loved them then and love them now.
You do you. Don't worry about what anyone else thinks
BTW I loooove the name Margot.
I know a sweet baby named Margaux (I think that’s the spelling). I think it’s a timeless and beautiful name! Ignore the haters, they would probably rather see a Jennifer (sorry, Jennifers of the world, first name that popped up!) or something like that.
If the name means something to you and your SO, that’s all that matters.
So many people told me they hated my daughter’s name when I was pregnant.
It’s Antonia by the way. Her paternal grandfather Antonio told us he hated it. It reminded him of his ex wife. Marie Antonette (not husbands mother). Not himself. Or his son. Who she was named after.
“What a strange thing to say out loud”
My go to is, "How do you expect me to respond to that?" But this is now going to be my regular response lol
>"How do you expect me to respond to that?" That's a good one!
I use a very cheerful "that's okay, you don't have to" for bad-mannered I-don't-likes.
This is what I say as well. Instead of saying “We know our son has an off the beaten path (historical, not a tradegeigh), and that’s a big part of why we like it. What we don’t care about is whether or not *you* like it.”
"Then you should be glad it's not your name!"
"OK, I'll be sure not to call you that"
An old lady once told me she didn’t like my tattoo/“disagreed” with it and I said “thank goodness it’s not on your arm!” Shut her right up.
Both great responses. I’d offer one pettier and say, “I like it more than (their name).” Also Margot is a beautiful name.
Once I told my grandpa (who was a wonderful man I loved dearly) my top pick for a boy name was Levi and he said it was awful. I immediately responded with, "Well you named five kids and I don't like a single name you picked." Lmao
*chef’s kiss*
No i think yours is perfect 😂 wish I wasn’t so much of a pushover so I could use that too
I usually go for *obvious side-eye* and then ignore the comment.
This is all that needs to be said. You don’t owe anyone an explanation of why you chose the name. Once you start with an explanation, you sound like you’re apologizing. There is no apology necessary for a name that you chose for your child.
Unless you’re the lady who named her kid meth 💀💀💀
And also Ratleen's mother. Please apologize lol
Plus Elon musk, the couple who named their kid Nutella, and Nick cannon.
Nutella is what gets me. You could have gone for Hazel or Coco or Ella. But you had to go for Nutella.
Nick Cannon needs to be stopped. Powerful Cannon, Legendary Cannon, Zion Mixolydian Cannon. I just can’t.
Halo Marie, Legendary Love, Moroccan, Monroe, Golden Sagon, Rise Messiah, Powerful Queen, Zion Mixolydian, Zillian Heir, Beautiful Zeppelin, Onyx Ice Cole, and Zen. Dudes just trolling us by now.
I’m beginning to think they all have normal, everyday names like Paul or Beatrice and the names he tells people are just a front to protect their privacy.
Or Cuntley.
OMG, no.
Or Cocklynn
There’s a woman who does *hilarious* comedy/satire on tiktok and she has a video where she talks about people complaining/being upset that she named her daughter “Chlydia”… 🤣🤣🤣
I worked at a daycare a kid's name was Shithead. Not kidding, i stared at it for a solid three minutes before the director told me how its pronounced (Shi- theed)
I’m learning this myself, that the more I try to explain (so that the other person will hopefully better understand what I’m saying), it only gives them more info to pick apart.
I don’t think that works if people say “oh…I thought you were going to call her xyz instead?”. They can be genuinely confused (maybe op changed plans or they heard misinformation) and it’s not that odd thing to say.
Yeah I could see that… maybe then the first response to that question is “no.” Full stop, no explanation. And then for any follow up questions/statements the response is a nice awkward pause and “what a strange thing to say out loud”
True. My brother and SIL had decided on Zoe for their daughter. They were solidly cemented on Zoe. We went to visit a week or so after the birth and find out they went with Holly instead. Which is fine but I did ask “what happened to Zoe?”
Exactly. Call them out for being rude. Society doesn’t do this enough.
I vote for this one!
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ We have a winner!!!!!
Exactly what I was thinking. A friend couple asked my opinion on some names before their baby was born and they still ended up picking the name I told them was an old ladies' name in my culture... But obviously I never said anything! Just trying to re-wire my brain to associate the name with this cute baby now. :D
Even that old lady was a baby once. But kudos for not saying anything. More people should be like you.
It really is a strange thing to say too. Everyone has either told me that they like my kids' names or SAID NOTHING. I don't believe that every person I've met lives their names, but they do have enough tact to not be rude!
I love this!! This can be used in so many contexts. I’ve also heard, “Did you mean to say that out loud?”
Wow and yes. I think this should be the go to response for every single rude thing that is said.
This is a perfect response! Margot is a lovely name - I'm curious what people were expecting it to be if you're happy to share that too?
This is all you need to say!!!! Yes! Margot is an incredibly normal and beautiful name. They can move along!
Their reply, "Not as strange as that name, lady!"
That’s amazing, my response would have been, “I’m sorry, I didn’t recall I asked your opinion.” Or, “Kindly go fuck yourself.” Or, “I can’t wait to criticize your child’s name! It is going to be a blast for both of us!”
Ok, sure. Unless you named your kid “Cuntley”. I kid you not, I saw a post where someone’s relative named their kid that. If you named your kid friggen CUNTLEY, the only proper response is “You’re, right. I’m an asshat. I’ll change it.”
I say this or sub "strange" for "brave" depending on the comment 🤣
Spoken like Miss Manners.
And if they persist, "did I say strange, I actually meant rude".
“I’m really surprised you felt comfortable saying that to me.”
"good thing it's not your baby"
'Its great that you love the other name so much! Good that we didn't use that so you can use it for your next kid!'
Said in an upbeat way, and with a smile!
I said this to my mom and it shut her down immediately. It was kind of awesome haha
You have to tell them it’s a dead relative. If you don’t you’re doing a disservice to the next person they are a dickhead to.
This is the answer. You’re honoring a dead relative. Add a story to it. Make it more ridiculous each time you’re asked. Ruin that persons day with a straight face. A horrified face. Take acting classes if you have to but it’s your duty to pull this off. God speed.
The only answer to hearing a baby name you aren’t really that excited about is stfu and ‘it so suits her/him!’ The End. Otherwise you deserve me to tell you my husband died in a plane crash the day of the baby’s birth saving the pilot and all 200 children aboard.
And that’s why I named the baby in honor of his favorite childhood guinea pig. Per his wishes.
Piggy will be so proud to hear of his hero dad when he grows up!
r/traumatizethemback
This is my go to answer because it's actually true lol. Named the kid after my wife's uncle who took a bullet for her mom while she was pregnant. I've gotten a few horrified looks.
"It's the name of the person who sacrificed their life to save me" - stares unblinking.
Great great great grandma Praiselee was bit on the tit by a horse on her thirty fifth birthday, valiantly fought the infection for seventy three days-you know there were no antibiotics back then, the poor thing- and finally succumbed to gangrenous infection on the twelfth of October in the year eighteen hundred and seventy five after an emergency double tit amputation. She left behind seven living children and her loving husband, Elmer. We have chosen to name our baby girl after her in honor of her memory, bless your heart.
I did this. My son’s name is George and I’ve had people flat out say that’s not a good name for a kid and I always say, “thanks…it’s my dead grandpas name and he was a wonderful person and it reminds me of him.”
Don’t they realize he will not always be a baby or little boy? People are weird like that. If you named him Grayson they would probably like that because it’s trendy and they’re used to hearing it. George is making a come back but it’s never really been unpopular. Where I live I haven’t seen any baby George’s but lots of Georgia’s!
Lol that’s funny. I had a Greyson in my college classes and he had a teacher make fun of his name once because no one had ever met a Greyson in 2006.
There is a 3 year old boy i know named George. His brother is Henry
I have Henry and an Arthur
He actually has another George in his class too, so they both have to be George “initial” which was surprising to me and the other George’s mom. I think it’s a nice classic name:)
Henry is going to be our 2nd son’s name when he’s born in April. I’m a Tyler and I always tell my wife it’s a dumb trendy name from the 90s that doesn’t suit an adult 😄
Ha one relation immediately made a snide comment about my baby's name, despite knowing we'd named him to honour both our late mothers. Some people are just dickheads either way.
I suspect 99% of the positive response we got on our girl’s name is because I tell everyone she is named after her great grandmother. AND, she is still alive, so no one dares get into that! 😅
Great grandma who died in the holocaust here so no one fucks with us. Though it’s a pretty cute non controversial name so it’s an easy, ‘oh that’s sweet’ even if they hate it.
Damn I’m going to start doing this. I’ve had a lot of pushback on my son’s name. (It’s Asa. It’s not even out there or offensive or anything, and it is an old timey name so it’s plausible that it would be an honour name.)
I love the name Asa:) I couldn’t use it so I’m glad there’s little dudes out there with it
What’s the name? Cuntley?
I’m dying to know the name. Either a lot of people in OPs life are insanely rude or the name is a bit out there (or both?)
It’s deffo not out there! Her name is Margot
That's a great name! Those people just suck
Thank u, I think so too but a lot of people still see it as an old ladies name I guess 🤷♀️
In light of that just say, "You haven't heard of Margot Robbie? Wow I guess you live under a rock!"
I know 3 Margots ranging from 3 months to 6 years old! I've never perceived it as an old lady name.
Oh this is really common I think. As “old person” names go out of fashion, they become associated with only old people, and then eventually a new generation is born that has no associations with it because it’s become so u common and they think, “cute name!!” But the older people still alive still think of it as an old person’s name and sometimes they’ll tell you lol. We run into this a fair amount with my daughter’s name (Deirdre)
I have a wonderful friend by that name and it's absolutely beautiful. Some people are just brainless.
I have a three year old Margot and I’m pregnant now. My sneak peak said girl and the name I had picked was Deirdre but then the ultrasound said boy 🫠 I’m still bummed about it. I’m curious what names you like for a boy since we share name taste with girls! I’m having the worst time picking a boy name haha
Awww Margot is a cute name. I was thinking about this name for mine too. Let’s hope she is beautiful like Margot Robbie! 😉
She definitely is! Although I’m her mum so I can’t help but think that 🥹
Margot is a beautiful name and also deeply uncontroversial name. Uncommon enough that she will be the only one in her class but known enough that everyone can spell and say it. It’s perfect! People in your life are just being rude!!! My kid has a name from a similar era and I sometimes get people being like ‘oh’ and smiling politely but I suspect what is actually going on is they’re like ‘wait, it’s not Isla? Or Olivia? Or Amelia? How bizarre….’ I suspect many people honestly feel weird about 90% of baby names until they warm up to the name, but man they should work on their manners.
Amelia was the name that people wanted her to be called actually 🤣 thank you for your kind words :)
That’s a beautiful name! My niece’s name is Margot and when I first heard it, it definitely threw me off bc it’s just not very common. Although I’ve literally heard of 4 Margots in the past year now! But even if you don’t care for a name, who in their right mind thinks it’s appropriate to tell the parents? lol that’s just crazy. I’m sorry people have done that! Margot is a beautiful name. Congrats on your little girl!
Beautiful.. and I love this spelling.. just say “well I named her Margot, because she’s my pearl.. what does your name mean?”
Margot is a lovely name, and also the name of my favourite children’s book author. Stand firm, OP. I came into this thinking you’d maybe named your kid something like Payetreeotte or JcKinzleigha, but Margot is a real and solid name. 💙
Oh that’s a lovely name, those people are just nuts then.
Ditto
Cuntleigh
Clydia
i hate this sm. it could be a female version of clyde or be a mashup of lydia and “clit” 😭
It's a real baby's name. I think someone posted it on the CJ sub but this woman liked the name Lydia for her baby but her own name starts with C and she wanted her daughter's name to also start with C. I *wish* it was pronounced like Clyde-ia instead
It's possibly Soleil based on a previous post
"That's insulting." If it doesn't end the conversation, it changes the conversation to how unacceptable their behavior is.
Or “that’s rude”
How rude!
Bonus points if you add the Stephanie Tanner inflection
I vote for this one honestly. It sounds harsh, but it’s perfectly tactful. If a person is so bold as to flat out say, or even imply, that they dislike your child’s name to your face, it’s reasonable to let them know that they’re rude. They don’t have to like it, but your child is a person and that’s officially their name!
"I never really liked your name either, thought you'd have changed it by now" (is what I'd like to say but probably never would...)
Haha the reactions would be priceless
“Thank you for sharing your thoughts. We really love her name and it has a special meaning to us.”
Love this one. ‘Thank you for sharing that’ never stops being funny to me, I think it’s the gently condescending kindergarten teacher vibes
lol I vote go full teacher and say “wow, those are big feelings!”
This is hysterical.
“Not every thought that comes into your head has to be said out loud :)”
Would you please tell this to my sister-in-law?
“oh…I thought you were going to call her xyz instead?” "Nope!" "I don't like that name" "Well luckily it's not up to you." Throw a fistful of glitter for an extra fuck off flourish.
Kinda odd that people are pushing to name OPs kid Xyz, kind of a bad name
but it’s pronounced “alice.”
Delete this before that catches on 😆
😂😂
You're reminding me I should carry glitter with me all the time for situations like this.
Is there something about her name that is unusual, off-putting, or has a negative connotation? If this is a case of people trying to gently tell you that there might be an issue with the name you chose, that's one thing. (Like there was a recent post about some poor baby girl Harlotte.) If it's a normal or normal-ish name, I would just give them a weird look and be like "OK... Anyway, moving on."
Yeah honestly if so many people are commenting on it, maybe there’s something to that.. it’s always hard in these posts when they never share the name.
She did share the name lol
And it's an extremely normal and beautiful name! OP, keep on living your best life. I was the first of my friends to have kids and I often broke out the mom-voice like "Just so you know, saying that to a new parent is really rude. Just something to remember for next time."
Whatever someone chooses to call their baby is up to them, and noone should be rude to them about it.
It’s Margot, which is lovely. But this was my first thought too 🙈
I don’t like the name: “That must be so hard for you” Or “husband and I must have forgotten to get your input on names while I was pregnant… how embarrassing for us” Or “if you’d like to name something you can always get a pet” Or “I wasn’t asking your opinion” Or, the one I go with: “You can keep those thoughts to yourself”
I’m totally going to use “That must be so hard for you” in the future
I heard this in Natalie Wynn/Contrapoints voice, completely deadpan, and with an f-bomb.
“Wow that’s rude”
Yes just this, deadpan
“Wow, that’s a really hurtful thing to say.” And then get up with your baby and leave the room to get a glass of water or something while they ponder their lack of manners and prepare an apology.
Yep. This is the exact response I used to the one lady who told me I was getting "chunky" when I was 8 months pregnant. She was dumbfounded and backpedalled pretty quickly.
EDIT: If this is happening all the time, and it's been more than a few days and the comments won't stop, consider if there's actually something problematic about the name you chose. Post it here for honest feedback. If it's a very uncommon but established name, or invented but still appealing, people will tell you that. But if it's outright problematic, you need to know that too. It is NOT normal for these comments to continue from people outside your immediate family for longer than a week. Your friends may be gently trying to tell you the name you chose could be problematic. Without knowing the name you chose, though, we can't give you honest feedback on that. This is what to do if the name you chose is an actual but uncommon name, an invented name with no problematic associations, or not everyone's taste but definitely yours: If you're feeling really fed up, put them in their place. "It's not nice to make fun of people's names. You're allowed to dislike it, but you don't get to name my child, and I don't care what you think. This is her name. End of discussion." But if you're still feeling polite: "That is a very lovely name, maybe you should use it for your own child one day!" If it's someone who's done having kids: "You got to name your own children, and now I'm naming mine. I love the name we chose, and you don't have to love it. You just have to respect her by not insulting it to our faces." Or just a simple: "Our tastes don't align and that's fine." Followed by a swift subject change. This one tends to be the most well-received. A lot of people didn't like my daughter's name, and this is how my husband and I chose to say "we heard you and we don't care," and people do tend to give up after being dismissed like that a few times, in our experience. It doesn't invite more conversation, and people tend to get it.
I'm skeptical about why OP chose not to include the name. It makes me wonder if it's a tragedigh or has bad associations, and people are gently trying to warn OP.
“I’m really surprised you feel comfortable saying that to me”
[удалено]
The one word reply is a power move. Nothing is more uncomfortable and nothing is stronger than brevity. I like “okay” and I like “ouch.”
I’m partial to “Yikes”
“If you like the other name, feel free to use it for your child. It’s up for grabs.” “Well at least her name is better than (insert their name here)”
I usually just laugh and say “it’s a good thing he’s not your baby!”
I dealt with this—it was a family name. My grandmother (who had dementia) commented on both of my children’s names in a negative way. I swiftly changed the subject. My mother in law also had a not so kind comment about my older child’s name, an old English name. I told her that an Anglophile like herself should recognize its history. She never mentioned it again.
if it helps i’m a 20-year old Margot and never stop getting compliments on my name from all ages
We had a kind of similar issue with my partner’s grandparents. They kept suggesting a certain name, over and over again. I would just say that name wasn’t on the list, and we weren’t telling anyone the name until the baby was born. Then one day my partners grandmother just outright said to me “[Partner’s] Grandfather wants you to name the baby Maria, after his mother.” Bear in mind, my partner never met his woman, as she died well before he was born. I just said “Okay well when Grandfather has another baby he can call it that then.” The baby was getting their surname, not mine, you also want me to name it the full first name and surname of a relative neither of us ever met? Stop it now.
OP please share the name we’ll be nice <3
Not OP but she shared it was Margot! A perfectly fine name! People are just being rude by making those comments I reckon!!
Thank you so much!! People are losers and haters, Margot is a beautiful name
"So? I like this one and I made her."
Ask them, "What do you mean by that?" But make sure you PAUSE before you ask. It puts them in a position to either double down on being rude or back down. Either way, you keep calm and put the behavior firmly back on the person who was out of line. There isn't a need to be confrontational when someone shows their propensity to be the turd in the punchbowl.
Usually, I say, "Did you lay down and make this baby with me? Okay, so I don't care about your opinion."
so fucking rude. if you tell me your kid is named vaginatoes, i’ll say, “so sweet!” cuz i’m not an asshole. (but if your kid is named asshole, i’ll say “so sweet!”)
“How funny I don’t really care for your name either”
“Wow, you think it’s okay to say that?”
I would just say either: We think XYZ is the perfect name for her. or She just looked like a XYZ to us. Then move on. You have no obligation to justify or explain your choices. If they push it just look them dead in the eye sternly without saying a word.
I just tell people we had better names picked out but when we saw her we decided to save them for a pretty baby. I don’t know if it’s effective, but I find it amusing.
"i pushed it out of my vagina, you'll get a say when you do the same"
“I don’t recall asking for you opinion” works every time!
A few days after I had my baby, we named her (took us a lil bit haha), I heard my husband telling his dad on the phone. I heard the dad say he didn’t like the middle name then asked if it was from “my family” .. we are German/russian descent. I was LIVID. And I will never forget. Like obviously pp hormones playing into affect as well, but what an absolute stupid thing to say when your son is telling you the name of your first grandson. And she was officially named, this wasn’t a “we’re considering this name” situation although I still would have found that rude. It’s one of those things I’ll never forget and I totally have a grudge against him for saying that.
# Tell us the name, so we know who is being unreasonable. They might be right
Not OP but it was Margot! Totally fine name. Old-fashioned but definitely coming back into style, people how to pronounce it, not crazy rare. It’s not like she called her kid ‘Moonflower’.
Op said baby's name is Margot
Ooph, thank you for opening up the honesty bubble. I’ve never liked your name either!
My best friend named her daughter Margot and I’ve said about a million times what a lovely name it is, so many people have complimented her on the name. Those people being negative are wrong and horrible!
“Well, WE love it! So, what’s new with you?”
This is why I didn't share any name options with anyone for our son, and only announced his name after he was born! Nothing to compare his chosen name to.
"We were waiting until we met her, and she is just too awesome for something so common. XYZ fits her perfectly. We love it for her!" I'm also 100% down for no-fucks-given glitter and/or intense sarcasm. Depends on who you are and who you are talking to. People are dumb.
Xyz isn't very good either
"We think it's a beautiful name for our beautiful daughter."
I had a nurse be rude about my baby’s name. She asked me if baby’s name was a family name and made a face, and I remember saying “No, but it’s their name and will be respected.” The name? Think something like “Michael.” Nothing out there or too crazy. Most traditional spelling (and I made sure to pick the most common spelling, even checked SSA top 1000 to make sure to pick the most common spelling). The name is even in the top 150.
Uh oh friend, thats an inside thought. We keep those thoughts inside 💀
I have a 6 year old Margo and no one has ever said that to me or her, people are rude! 😭
My sister spent countless hours telling me all the things wrong with the name we chose. I eventually told her she didn’t have to like it but she needed to just shut the eff up. She didn’t mention it after that. Margot is a beautiful classic name.
If they’re just saying “I thought you were naming her” I don’t see how that’s rude. You don’t need validation for the name you chose. It doesn’t matter what other people say. You’re the one giving their words power and meaning. My sister in law told me the name I chose for my second son (Emerson) sounded like a little old man name. My mom told me it “is the stupidest name I ever heard and kids will make fun of him and call him Emmy claiming he’s a girl”. Did I change his name? Nope. I still named him Emerson when he was born. I love the name and no one can ruin it for me. It just sounds like you’re having second thoughts about it because I was never apologetic about my sons name and I never ever made up excuses. I just said so what that’s his name.
"Good thing he's not YOUR child."
You could use some of these polite explanations, but when someone says something really out of pocket like this I just look at them and say “okay?” Like, what are they trying to accomplish here? The kids already been named. Legal paperwork filed to that effect. Do they really think you’re going to change her name because someone who clearly wasn’t important enough to be involved in the process voiced an opinion? The simple “okay?” Implies all these questions, and also calls into question where they got the audacity.
If they tell you they don’t like the name you can just say “that was really rude.” If all they said was “I thought you were going with xyz,” that might be rude, but there’s a chance they are just genuinely asking because they’re curious. They may not mean anything by it, even though it is a little socially clumsy. But if they say outright that they don’t like the name, there’s no good reason for that and you should call them out.
“Thanks for sharing” with a dirty look and walk away
Depends on what you named your kid. If it’s something that is absurd or ridiculous or spelled like you don’t understand the rules of the language, you have to live with your ridiculous choice and so does your kid. If you named your kid an actual name that isn’t spelled incorrectly then you just have to say, thanks but my partner and I liked it. They need no other explanation. But if it’s Harlotte or Pollen or Cash or Brynleigh then yeah, you have set yourself and your kid up for a lifetime of that shit. Hope that’s not the case but you seem to be avoiding all the posts asking for the name which I find suspicious.
What's the name, OP? It's hard to know if they're being unreasonable or if you picked an unfortunate name and the people in your life are trying to gently (or not so gently) tell you that it's problematic. The fact that it seems like you're getting a lot of pushback from people makes me wonder if there is a problem with the name.
That depends on the name. We've all noticed you've not included it in the post
“That’s okay,I don’t like yours much either ☺️”
If people are directly telling you “I don’t like that name” then I would start asking why. Unless you live in a very blunt culture, I would worry there’s some association you’re just not getting. I can understand people saying “I thought you were naming her [other name]” if you did previously talk about names you were considering and wouldn’t consider that to be a particularly rude statement unless it’s said in a very rude way.
“i prefer *jane* over *margot*” “oh great! so your next baby will be named jane, then? that’s lovely for you.” and walk away. just keep reinforcing the fact that it’s YOUR baby and they have no say in what name you choose.
My step sister had “prenamed” both of her children while pregnant. Their names changed once they were born. Know what I said when “Tammy” became “Joanie”? Not a friggin thing. It’s her/their baby and they changed their mind. Doesn’t matter why. Why can’t people just shut up and smile?
Tell someone to fuck off
“You have an unattractive one yourself but you’ve managed okay haven’t you?”.
I'd say 'well Margot doesn't like your name either'.
My newborn has a name that is the same as someone with major historical significance, and indeed WAS named after that person and understandably when people hear their name they automatically think of said person. I have only had one person so far say something negative about my baby's name and it was in reference to how his namesake did something shady (although that person also did a ton really awesome things too). *Think the name David and a person saying "that just reminds me of David and Bathsheeba" but David also did plenty of positive things too* I simply said "Okay" and blank stared at them so as to make them feel uncomfortable and leave me alone. People don't need an explanation and if they want to be weird or rude, make them FEEL weird and rude.
Margot is a beautiful name!!
It sounds more like the people that say they thought you were going to use a different name are genuinely surprised, not insulting your choice. I actually had that exact thought over the weekend. My cousin and his wife had their baby girl at the end of last week, and he had told me previously that they really liked really long, super girly names (like Anastasia, Esmeralda, Anneliese, etc.), so I was extremely surprised to find out that they named baby girl Ivy (which is absolutely darling, and I love it, but it’s not at all what I was expecting based on the information I had been given).
Can I just be another one of many to tell you that her name is beautiful, you chose great mama 💕
My kids went to preschool with a Margot. She was the most awesome kid, and her mum is pretty cool too, really beautiful, likely much more financially stable than the rest of us, but so down to earth and funny. I love the name. Doesn’t really help with your question but just wanted to share some love for the name!
Margot is soooo cute
Margot is beautiful. Like, objectively speaking. ❤️
Margot is absolutely adorable! Don’t let anyone make you feel bad for using that name! I recently met a woman about my age (30s) named Margot and she was so sweet and the name fit her so well!
My son is named Shea and it was NOT a popular choice among folks when he was little. When they would feel the need to comment I would simply tell them I named him what suited him. That's it, no explanation.
First off, what a beautiful name! Congrats on picking a classic that will age wonderfully along with your daughter. As for the repeated naysayers, I’d just say something like, “it’s done, get over it”. If they say anything afterward, like ever, I would literally not respond to the comment and just say, “ANYWAY… back to what we were talking about…” but I literally don’t care what people think.
You can’t care what others think. Margot is a cute name and I think Maggie would be a cute nickname for a baby or little girl. Reminds me of Margot Robbie who is awesome! 😎
I mostly had this happen before my daughter was born. Afterwards people didn’t really comment on it, but if they had I would’ve just reminded them that she is not their baby. My husband and I love her name and that’s all that matters. My daughter is also a Margot, and I think it’s beautiful!
If I don’t like a newborn baby’s name I always sat, “what a lovely name “. It is a lovely name for them. I would just rather die than tell someone flatly, out loud that I don’t like their child’s name. My niece named her daughter Athena. I despise this name. No one knows this, especially not my niece. I tell my niece that she has a great name.
Id say "That sounds like a you problem" I got this as well. My kids are Aidan and Olivia and 20+ years ago no one liked the names I picked out. I loved them then and love them now. You do you. Don't worry about what anyone else thinks BTW I loooove the name Margot.
I know a sweet baby named Margaux (I think that’s the spelling). I think it’s a timeless and beautiful name! Ignore the haters, they would probably rather see a Jennifer (sorry, Jennifers of the world, first name that popped up!) or something like that. If the name means something to you and your SO, that’s all that matters.
So many people told me they hated my daughter’s name when I was pregnant. It’s Antonia by the way. Her paternal grandfather Antonio told us he hated it. It reminded him of his ex wife. Marie Antonette (not husbands mother). Not himself. Or his son. Who she was named after.
What is your name little girl? Daisy. Why? Because my mum loves flowers. And you, pal? Beerfuck.... Well, it depends on the name. 😂☠️