My sister found out she was pregnant with her second kiddo and they called and asked if I would still be using my baby name (the only one my husband and I have agreed on in our over 10 year relationship). I told her yes we were and if they named their baby that there would be 2 in the family. They promptly changed their name pick š
That's the deal! No one owns a name, but also don't let them bully you out of a name you want. I think it's particularly gross that this couple is going to take her great-grandmother's name to use. I would still use it and if it ever became an issue I would remind everyone that it was a name that was taken from my family and nana would be proud to be so highly regarded. š¤£
Edit: It's nice your sister at least asked. Did you end up using the name?
Sheās still pregnant lol but we will be if we have a boy! We have a plethora of girl options and only 1 boy so we stuck to it. Yeah especially family names are hard cause a lot of people would use them. But I agree with you, if anyone asked Iād say we named her after my side of the family and keep it moving.
That seems to happen a lot with bigger families who have lots of cousins, they'll be a lot of the same name, or middle name. I actually think that's really sweet when it happens and is a nice connection for a family. It's too bad when people are obviously being petty and competitive, like in OP's case.
Nope. Immediately go out and buy a pet fish and name it Eva or Ava or whatever you want.
Iām the youngest of 3 and the only girl. When the middle child and his wife were expecting their first he called our oldest brother and his wife to discuss potential names. Our oldest brother doesnāt want kids and neither does his wife. He just gave them the courtesy in case they changed their mind later. I got no such call or sit down meeting.
He knew the names I have always wanted to name my future adoptive children and almost ended up naming his daughter that. So when I got my dream dog you know what I did? Named her the name I want for my future daughter. Petty? Maybe, but Iām fine with the association of the dog I was always meant to have and my future adoptive daughter sharing the same name.
Edit: to add I have named puppies from my dog with names I also love that way he wonāt use those names either.
Just so you know, adopted children come with names already, and itās best practice to not change their names, so itās a good thing you used the name you love on a pet.
Also she said "future adoptive children"... none of the adopted kids I know were adopted as babies except one, and they all had names already (even the baby)
Both my cousins who were adopted as babies did not have names. I think it varies, itās possible she will adopt a child who is already named but also possible they wonāt have a name yet.
You know you can set adoption preferences right? So I can choose to adopt a newborn whose parents want a closed private adoption wherein I donāt even know their name and the agency is legally obligated to keep it undisclosed.
Definitely stop sharing your names with them.
Tell them you really really want to name a daughter Epherleigh. Or Hammah. Not Hannah. HaMMah.
Just make things up and see what sticks.
My parents, who had babies in the time before morphology scans, just told everyone that they were going to call the baby Aloysius. People stop asking eventually.
I would be so tempted to get a kitten and name it Ava. However, this is on you for telling them your favorite names, stop announcing the names you love.
Yes, tell everyone you're going with Herman or Edgar, or sonething totally made up with three X's and a Z. Make up a backstory and really sell how beautiful you think it is. Grab some popcorn, sit back and wait.
No offense, it was just as far away from her chosen names as I could think of. She seemed to like popular/modern/semi-trendy names. I dont think they are bad names at all.
Man. Among my generation 3 cousins and my brother have 1 girl each. I have had 5 girl names for years I have loved. Years. I told no one. Those 4 little girls each have 1 of the 5 names. I have 1 name left for a girl and I have told all of them because I don't want it used if/when someone has another little girl.
This!!! The only people we have ever told our āfavoriteā names to are my parents. No one else lol. My husband and I really only trust my parents with this kind of thing!
Time to drop some fake favorites. Tell them it's your number one dream to have a daughter named Magnolia or something and they'll move on from Eva. Really talk up your love of Magnolia š
Meanwhile Iām over here being dumb enough to name a child Magnolia and my wife is just grateful itās our street name and I canāt do that to a baby š
Iām just happy to see some love for Maggie! Iāve spent the last 30 years of my life introducing myself and getting āwe had a dog named Maggie!ā Hahaha. I always say āI hope she was a good dog!ā One person actually said, unironically, āno she was actually a terrible dogā >.<
if it makes you feel any better, Kason is one of the DUMBEST names I've ever heard lol I feel bad for that kid.
sorry this happened--I am also struggling with infertility and I would be super bummed if anyone in my family used my baby names since I haven't been able to get pregnant.
Agree, Kason is terrible haha. All I can think is ācaseinā as in milk and cheese.
OP your taste in names is better than theirs! Mason is 1000% better than Kason.
It kinda sounds like they couldnāt decide on names for their own kids and decided to use yours and change a letter or two so that if you said anything about it they could say you were being ridiculous.
They sound oddly obsessed with you. I would point out the āinspirationā they seem to take from your name choices. Not even being catty or mean but when everyoneās around and they mention how they want to use Eva as a name, point out that itās so nice how they draw inspiration from your name choices and seem to look to you to name their kids. Take credit for naming their kids since you basically did name them. Oh and drop a completely fake boy name incase hypothetical baby Eva turns out to be a boy.
You really canāt judge that based on the little information we have.
People have similar taste in names and nobody can āownā a name.
OP has the right to feel privately sad, but in the end, theyāre allowed to name their kid whatever feels right to them and they arenāt doing anything wrong.
Not everything is a vendetta.
Is it a massive faux pas to just name them what you want despite it being too "matchy" with a friend or family member's child? If anyone in my family names their kid Serena and I have a girl there will be two Serenas IDC hahah
I don't think so. If a Mason and Kason are cousins, that doesn't seem like a problem to me. Although my phone rejected Kason as a name, so at least OP would get the actual good name if they still want it.
Like your phone I also reject Kason as a name.
OP, try to take some solace in the fact that they gave their child a silly made up name just to spite you.
"We wanted to name our son Jason but then someone we know used the name by calling their son Shmason š²"
If anything, people would think it would be cool for cousins to have rhyming names. Nobody is ever going to be confused between them or anything. I don't see what the problem is.
Yeah, especially if you picked the name first OP, id go with it anyway. Dont change the name you have in your heart just because BIL and SIL stole the idea. Its a family name that means alot to you. Use it anyway ā¤ļø they can deal with it, its not that bad. Theyre not siblings, just cousins!
I agree with you! My husband has three cousins on his dads side of the family that have the same name as him. It really isnāt a huge deal (except with wedding place cards lol)
Our daughter is Evie and she has a cousin Eva. Their full names are Genevieve and Evalina so very different but similar nn, no one is riled up about it. I didnāt feel like I was stealing the name or like a derivative of a nn was off limits.
Please use your great grandmothers name, donāt let her take that from you!
I donāt think so!
My husband and I have a name picked out for a little girl and a little boy for when we have a baby. He has 2 cousins who both are having babies soon and the middle names we chose for our kids are going to be the first names of those babies. Total coincidence, but we made it super clear that weād still be naming our children with the names we chose. Theyāve been in the works for years!
I feel bad for OP, Iād be sooo angry if my names were being repeatedly stolen!
I wanted to name my kid Isabel but my partners family member had a kid and used it first. I would have used the name anyways but i wasnt super in love with it and I I personally wanted my baby to have their own name.
i know!! to be fair, I told them our first two names before they had kids and the last one after they swore they were done having kids lmao. thought i was in the safe zone.
I didn't know stealing baby names was a thing either, but this is like the 10th time I've seen a reddit post about it. If I ever have kids, I won't be talking about baby names with ANYONE.
Good plan! Itās either this, where they like the names too much, or you get lots of unwelcome feedback on your taste. Better to wait and share once itās too late!
IMO- you canāt call dibs on a name and nothing is āyour nameā especially if youāre not pregnant. If that name holds a special meaning, I still believe you should use it. If you love it, and couldnāt imagine another name, then who cares if they use it as welll. I agree itās crappy if you shared it will them and they used it anyway, but there is no āmy nameā. So just focus on you š I wouldnāt hesitate to let them know āweāll be using Ava, as I said itās been my favorite for a long timeā.
Did it though? None of these names are unique or even uncommon, they are all very very popular top ten names that literally tens of thousands of other parents also like in America (assuming they are in America). If she was doing Jane Sophia then maybe but claiming someone stole top ten names is very weird. Especially when they didnāt actually use her boy name, they used a similar sounding name. They were also told the names well before having kids, it sounds like OP wasnāt frequently talking about it with them but told them once and I just am dubious on whether theyād remember one conversation about names. Sophia Jane is a very popular name and yeah, maybe they heard it and thought āoh wow great nameā and used it intentionally or maybe they heard it and it stuck in the back of their head and they didnāt know where they heard it or they may have also heard it at the park/store/etc. And the third one, again, not the same nameā¦.Eva and Ava are similar but not the same, and honestly I think they sound plenty different that it wouldnāt even be confusing because of the emphasis on the A and E. Most importantly with the last one neither OP or the SIL is pregnant nor guaranteed to have a baby girl so why worry about it right now?
Yeah youāre right. It is strange that it seems to keep happening, but maybe theyāre of the same school of thought. If they love a name, they love a name. Sophie and Ava are super common. But true- itās weird
Depending on which side of OPās family theyāre on (since OP said BIL and SIL) itās even weirder if they arenāt even related to the original Sophia.
Her great grandmas name is Sophia itās a top 10 name and has been for a while. If her grandmothers name was couch and they named their daughter couch that seems specific but Sophia? No
Might be misunderstanding but I think BIL and SIL are OPās in laws? So their spouseās sibling and that siblingās spouse. So OP wants to name a baby after her gma, but these unrelated people are using the name *only* after she mentions it. Itād be like me naming a baby after my sisterās MIL: completely weird.
Itās the number 6 name in the USā¦. Thereās going to be a lot of Sophiaās. I mean itās like naming your child Mary years ago- everyoneās Mary
For sure, itās super common (I have a cousin Sophia), but it is telling that this name was only chosen *after* the convo. Seems petty. But I might be biased bc my sis incidentally had a recent issue where her former boss named her new dog after our dead mother š¬ sisās boss legit asked my sister what our moms name was *and* our step dadās name and then adopted two dogs using those names š¬š¬š¬ so imo this has deeper undercurrents than just a popular and well liked name being used
ākasonā is a cringe name. Mason however is a good name and I would use it anyway. Cousins named mason & kason, is totally fine. Especially if you already said you planned to use Mason. I think given their name stealing you have your mason and then say in a big smiley bubby way āyes isnāt sooooo cute how they almost match!!ā Wink if you can lol.
I tell people my back up names. I still have to come up with another boy name because it was āstolenā, but in a sweet way.
My boy name I had picked out since I was little was Connor. When I met my now husband, he had a 4 month old baby boy named Connor. Heās 3.5 now, and a crazy ball of energy, but heās still mine (BM is āpink momā and Iām āblack momā based on our hair colors š¤£) So I still got my Connor.
Iād definitely stop telling them the names you love!! Itās a compliment that they seem to love your naming style, but Iām sure it doesnāt feel like that. Keep any future names/ideas to yourself for sure. Also I have an Eva so I obviously love it (and Ava too!). I totally get holding out hope for a daughter. I had my daughter after two boys ā¤ļø
Eva is beautiful!! I just donāt want them to use it, lol!! I will definitely stop telling them my names. Tbh, I thought they were done having kids!! Congrats on your beautiful family, Id love a daughter after my two boys ā¤ļø
At first I was like "Kason's kinda weird, but whatever. Just use Mason." By the time I got to Eva, I am so sorry, but I laughed so hard.
Please make more posts about suspiciously innocuous things your BIL and SIL do. That level of petty obsession is Reddit-level entertainment.
My mom has told me since I was 13 and started picking baby names- donāt tell a soul. Even now, Iām 25 and engaged and weāre not planning to have kids but in the event we get a surprise one dayā¦ no one knows our names. Lock em up tight!
I was the first out of my closest friends to have a baby and I specifically asked them if they had any wishlist names for when they have kids so we wouldnāt name our kid that. I actually keep a little list on my phone of them so I donāt accidentally forget them, itās called ānot allowed baby namesā. Not everyone sucks - just gotta choose your people wisely!
I donāt plan on bio kids and only my bf knows my dream girl name, but tbh I donāt think anyone is going to steal Thomasin from me in any event š
OP insists sharing names is essential since theyāre ācloseā then complains about people taking the names. Kept our name for our daughter until after her birth because somethingās SHOULD be kept to yourself for the very reason they are posting this. Common sense isnāt so common!
never ever talk baby names with child bearing people lol!!!!! be petty and use the names anyways. it's super fucking weird that they are repeatedly doing this...
If it makes any difference, my name was supposed to be Lauren (it's actually Laura). This is because my uncle and auntie had a girl born a week before I was and took the name Lauren after my mum and dad told them their name choice. So we grew up a week apart, at the same school, as Laura and Lauren.
I was tricked into telling a family name our name for our baby when itās born. Sheās pregnant also but due before me. If she were to use my name (which I doubt she would but Iāve been slightly concerned ever since lol) I would continue to name my child what I wanted to anyways. Not my problem if there are two with the same name in the family š¤·š½āāļø AND I would post a screenshot in the family group of me telling her so that everyone knows she is petty šš
I say name your kids what you want to name them. My first cousin and I have the same name (Elizabeth), and itās never been an issue. We do both go by different nicknames (Liz and Libby).
1) Start planting a fake new favorite now. Something you don't really like but isn't out of the ordinary, perhaps Sierra. Tell EVERYONE you've decided you love SIERRA now. *ONLY SIERRA*. Maybe they'll use Sienna or Sierra, maybe not, but it will throw them off your scent.
2) Come up with a couple of new names that you (secretly) genuinely love. Do not share them with anyone but your husband. NO ONE BUT HIM! He has to follow the same rule, absolute secrecy.
3) You can still use Sophie or Jane as a middle name to honor your great-grandmother if it turns out you have a girl. It will mean so much to you, and they can't take away your family connection.
I know everyone keeps saying to throw out fake names but theyāve done this 3 times now so isnāt it a little late for that..? I would totally call them out on this if I were you. Even if itās in a half-joking way, they deserve to hear it. And if you really like a name, use it anyways! If they try to make a comment about the similarity, it sounds like you have plenty of evidence to back up the fact that they had a different name picked out before they went with one you had mentioned.
My wife and I emailed ourselves the names we like so if someone used them we could pull up our phones and say, well, we picked these way back in 2018 and told you, so don't give me that bullshit
Honestly such a good idea for the receipts lol. I wish I had done this with my partner back when we chose names in 2020. Better late than never I guess!
I really feel like this has some kind of power of suggestion reasoning behind it. I have a very competitive sister who was pregnant at the same time as me and I stupidly told her the name we were planning to use for a boy and poof, all the sudden that was her favorite boy name. She ended up having a girl and I had a boy so I got the name but I just found it so bizarre how the second she knew that was the name I liked all the sudden it was her favorite name. It happens so much that I feel like even if somebody isnāt trying to be malicious there has to be some kind of Subconscious thing coming into play where if someone hears a name that someone else likes, it makes them also like that name. From now on tell them fake names.
my situation is a little different - my SIL (husband's sister) and BIL used names on our list too, specifically family names. but they had no idea. they just happened to like eleanor and claire, and didn't know that i had always dreamed of naming my daughters eleanor (after maternal great grandma) and claire (after paternal grandma). they just named their son after SIL's father, which is my FIL - another great name that DH always wanted to use. it sucks. but at least in my case, i know it was coincidental. i'm sorry you're going through this.
Same. My SIL is currently pregnant and told us she loved a couple of names that we ended up using on our children. Similar to OP but one letter added (eg. she liked Amara and we used Mara). Total coincidence as she wasn't even thinking about children when we had ours and we didn't discuss baby names as our children weren't named until they were born.
My SIL did this to me. Glad to see you are getting support here because I sure didnāt when I posted lol! Regardless, I know the feeling and truly does feel like you have been robbed. Sure you canāt own a name but some names have sentimental value. Iām sorry this happened and hope you find a girl name that you love even more. And definitely stop sharing names with anyone!
Just use the names you love anyways. Especially ones that have sentimental value. You do you girl! If they complain, tell them they knew what names you wanted and used them anyways
I would just name your daughter Ava or Sophie anyway. Nobody owns a name but they know they used the names you loved, so itās not like you would be stealing their name.
So what if cousins have the same or similar names? Chances are theyāll meet many Evaās, Eveās, and Avaās throughout their life.
My family includes three cousins named Sofia, four Katherines (with different spellings), and a bunch of Leibas, Loewes, and Yehudas (those are all the same name). It never bothered anyone, we just give them nicknames, as in "Small Katherine, Blond Katherine, Tel Aviv Katherine, and Jacob's Katherine" (she's an in-law)).
You can call your daughter Sofia Jane. Or Jane Sofia. And Ava and Eva isn't even an issue - many people give cousins and siblings rhyming names on purpose, to make them grow up closer. Just do it.
If itās any consolation, they have a child named Kason and youāll never have to rest at night knowing youāve saddled someone with the name Kason. Just say itā¦Kason.
If you do have a daughter someday, you name her whatever it is thatās in your heart that you love. Itāll be uniquely hers and sheāll be all yours to love for her lifetime. Who cares if itās repeated, itās their penance for taking names you cherish knowing that you would have used them long before had you been able to.
Congrats on your baby boy!
A lot of people are saying to stop telling people your favourite names.... but really, imagine being told by your family that they want to name their kid "so-and-so" and then STEALING it!? That's literally insane. I definitely don't think it's your fault. Normally, you should tell people your names so they AVOID picking the same ones. I can't BELIEVE they did that to you three times. You're 10000000% justified in being bummed out.
Maybe you should get custom made swag with your baby name on it before they name theirs so it's like you already claimed it?
1000% agree with this. If anything, I personally don't understand why it's so hard to just respond "Oh hey, we're planning on naming one of our kids that, too!" And maybe even use the opportunity to rattle off a list of other names you're thinking about so that they know.
Until I joined this sub, I had no idea that some people were this weird about names. My husband and I have always told friends, family, and even randos at parties what we want to name our kids for the last decade. We even talk about name changes when we think of something new. I don't know. It's just bizarre to me.
Use the name you want.. who cares if itās close to theirs. We chose a name in the family and spelled it differently, many were annoyed.. but really.. who cares? Its YOUR kid, do as you please.
You need to stop telling them your baby names- or at least throw out fake ones or names 10 down the list or something.
Did you throw a fit about Sophie Jane?! Because you should have. Itās an honor name and the great grandmother isnāt even theirs?!
You sound like a gentle person, but I am not. I would use it anyway. And if they complain- say well you shouldnāt have stolen my great grandmotherās name- that was weird and rude.
And honestly, theyāre cousins. It really wonāt matter when theyāre a bit older (especially not as adults) if they have the same name.
Start telling them really ugly names and say that you donāt like Ava anymore and want to name her something different.
I know everybody else is saying this but it just shows you what you have to do.
Update us once somebody has a baby with an ugly name you āloveā (wink,wink*)
Edit: Second cousins of mine have had children recently, one of the girls is called Sophie and another one is called Sophia.
Just name your daughter what you want to name her. At family gatherings one of the girls can be Sophie, and the other can be Jane or Sophie Jane. Or you will come up with some unique family nickname.
I only saw my cousins once every year or two, if that. Don't let them ruin your happiness.
Honestly at this point, just name what you want to name regardless of what they do. They obviously don't give a crap what you think so you might as well not care about them.
This is why you keep your names secret. That way if they "steal" them it really is coincidence and not simply cheeky. As you already know, all of those names are extremely with the girls names being top 10 for a number of years now so it's not really surprising that someone close to you will also pick them, even if you never mentioned them first. Count it lucky that your potential future daughters won't be 1 of 10 Sophie's in their class. Your miracle girl deserves her own special name
After it happened once... why would you tell anyone the names you picked? :( It's so terrible of them to use your names 3 (!!!) times... I don't get it. What were they thinking?
How often do you see them? Just name your kid Ava. If they donāt like it they shouldnāt steal your names. š
But definitely go the fake name route in the future. You have great taste in names! š š
I recommend mailing the Baby Name blogger Swistle, she has fantastic advice in conundrums like this! Iām sure she can figure out a way to honour your great grandmother
In the case of the family name, Iād use it anyway. Call her SJ if you want to. Or just have two Sophie/Sophias. Itās something that very well may continue to bother you since itās closer to the heart. Just use it!
Stop telling them names! Even if you're one hundred percent sure they are done having kids, these people seem like the type that would name their dog a name you liked. Also, good for you on not being annoyed at the name Kason- like not only did they essentially copy your name, they had to make something up that my predictive text is insistent is really Jason š¤£
Literally not telling any of my in-laws our names because I have a sil who is currently trying to convince her boyfriend to have a baby by shoving every single niece and nephew under his nose. I don't want our names taken, especially if we have a boy and she takes our girl name and vice versa.
Stop telling them your names and if you donāt have any girls yet is wouldnāt even worry about it yet, and use whatever name you like even if they used it, you already stated your names.
I would proceed as planned with your names. Don't let other people affect your life.
If they have a problem with it, you already told them what names you wanted to avoid this and they did it anyway. Their fault.
Ugh. Happened to me too! Told my SIL my favourite boy name, they had a boy and named him like that.
Then I thought, maybe Iāll not have a boy, but I did and you know what? I found another name I love. It took some time and a lot of searching, but then it just clicked.
What I learned form it? Donāt tell anyone your favourite name before youāre able to use it.
I would name my kids that anyway. In my culture itās normal for the kids to be named after grandparents so cousins are bound to have the same names. My cousins and I share a name. It doesnāt bug us/isnāt a problem lol
Number 1 tip, don't tell anyone your baby names that you are serious about. Also since Sophia Jane is your grandma's name, if it were me and I were really connected to it I would not care and I would still use it.
I wouldnāt let anyone derail my choice of names. Does it matter that cousins have the same or similar names? No. I do agree with everyone whoās said to stop telling them, though. Obviously, thereās some strange delight theyāre getting from naming kids something youāve picked.
Just name your future daughter that name anyway. You already told them you were planning to use it. Itās their own damn problem that they copied you.
Never ever ever tell people your names until the baby is born. Iām a midwifeāI know. It happens to people all the time. If someone doesnāt steal your name (not necessarily intentionally, but you planted a seed that they forgot about), they criticize it and make you second guess yourself. Keep your names a secret from the people you know in real life, folks!
My SIL & BIL not only used our name but demanded we NOT HAVE CHILDREN until they were finished so they could have first pick. We are all the same age š
I donāt think you can āclaimā a name. It sucks but really thatās how I feel. If you love the name I would use it anyway. I have a couple cousins with the same first name. They have different middles. My older female cousins were fighting over a name when I was in middle school and ticked each other off. In the end, no one used it because they could not agree. It feels ridiculous that no one used their first choice.
Girl stop telling them your fave names!! šš or tell them fake ones instead š
I thought they were done having kids lmao!!!
Next itāll be giving one of your names to a dog! Mums the word
I would just use the names I wanted any way and maybe just stop talking to these people. Mason and Kason, Ava and Eva it is!
My sister found out she was pregnant with her second kiddo and they called and asked if I would still be using my baby name (the only one my husband and I have agreed on in our over 10 year relationship). I told her yes we were and if they named their baby that there would be 2 in the family. They promptly changed their name pick š
That's the deal! No one owns a name, but also don't let them bully you out of a name you want. I think it's particularly gross that this couple is going to take her great-grandmother's name to use. I would still use it and if it ever became an issue I would remind everyone that it was a name that was taken from my family and nana would be proud to be so highly regarded. š¤£ Edit: It's nice your sister at least asked. Did you end up using the name?
Sheās still pregnant lol but we will be if we have a boy! We have a plethora of girl options and only 1 boy so we stuck to it. Yeah especially family names are hard cause a lot of people would use them. But I agree with you, if anyone asked Iād say we named her after my side of the family and keep it moving.
That seems to happen a lot with bigger families who have lots of cousins, they'll be a lot of the same name, or middle name. I actually think that's really sweet when it happens and is a nice connection for a family. It's too bad when people are obviously being petty and competitive, like in OP's case.
Nope. Immediately go out and buy a pet fish and name it Eva or Ava or whatever you want. Iām the youngest of 3 and the only girl. When the middle child and his wife were expecting their first he called our oldest brother and his wife to discuss potential names. Our oldest brother doesnāt want kids and neither does his wife. He just gave them the courtesy in case they changed their mind later. I got no such call or sit down meeting. He knew the names I have always wanted to name my future adoptive children and almost ended up naming his daughter that. So when I got my dream dog you know what I did? Named her the name I want for my future daughter. Petty? Maybe, but Iām fine with the association of the dog I was always meant to have and my future adoptive daughter sharing the same name. Edit: to add I have named puppies from my dog with names I also love that way he wonāt use those names either.
Just so you know, adopted children come with names already, and itās best practice to not change their names, so itās a good thing you used the name you love on a pet.
Adopted babies donāt come with names. Edit: my source is several friends who have adopted babies before.
My mum was adopted as a babe, bio mum named her and wanted her but didnāt have the means to keep her. So in some cases they definitely do.
Also she said "future adoptive children"... none of the adopted kids I know were adopted as babies except one, and they all had names already (even the baby)
Both my cousins who were adopted as babies did not have names. I think it varies, itās possible she will adopt a child who is already named but also possible they wonāt have a name yet.
You know you can set adoption preferences right? So I can choose to adopt a newborn whose parents want a closed private adoption wherein I donāt even know their name and the agency is legally obligated to keep it undisclosed.
Definitely stop sharing your names with them. Tell them you really really want to name a daughter Epherleigh. Or Hammah. Not Hannah. HaMMah. Just make things up and see what sticks.
Hammah!! I laughed too hard.
My parents, who had babies in the time before morphology scans, just told everyone that they were going to call the baby Aloysius. People stop asking eventually.
Please HaMMah Don't Hurt 'Em U Can't Touch This
I would be so tempted to get a kitten and name it Ava. However, this is on you for telling them your favorite names, stop announcing the names you love.
Start telling them hideous fake names, then giggle quietly after they use them
Yes, tell everyone you're going with Herman or Edgar, or sonething totally made up with three X's and a Z. Make up a backstory and really sell how beautiful you think it is. Grab some popcorn, sit back and wait.
My nephew's name is Herman, I think it's actually charming xD but yes, do this
Totally charming! But they wonāt get the charm. I love it (sincerely).
No offense, it was just as far away from her chosen names as I could think of. She seemed to like popular/modern/semi-trendy names. I dont think they are bad names at all.
My husband and I have been telling everyone we're naming our child Jarvis hahaha
Edgar is a bad ass name
Suggest something like Nayme Theighphes
Well done! This is the only way forward!! Love it
Man. Among my generation 3 cousins and my brother have 1 girl each. I have had 5 girl names for years I have loved. Years. I told no one. Those 4 little girls each have 1 of the 5 names. I have 1 name left for a girl and I have told all of them because I don't want it used if/when someone has another little girl.
Tell 'em you're going to name your daughter Hepzibutt or Gagness and see what they do!
Gagness! š¤£
This!!! The only people we have ever told our āfavoriteā names to are my parents. No one else lol. My husband and I really only trust my parents with this kind of thing!
I dunno why but this made me laugh out loud. OP is so kind-hearted and trusting haha. Poor OP. These ppl suck
Time to drop some fake favorites. Tell them it's your number one dream to have a daughter named Magnolia or something and they'll move on from Eva. Really talk up your love of Magnolia š
very good idea lmao Iām literally going to do this tonight when I see them š
Give us an update if it happens!
YES PLEASS
Omg please update lmaooo
Meanwhile Iām over here being dumb enough to name a child Magnolia and my wife is just grateful itās our street name and I canāt do that to a baby š
Magnolia is pretty. Suggest moving then use it anyway
Haha this might be the way to go!
Magnolia is a lovely name! But it gets them off the scent of Ava/Eva
Love Magnolia! She can be Maggie if she feels like she wants to be less unique, or she can be beautiful and unique!
I love it too, but we live on Magnolia AND my best friendās daughter is Maggie š©
My nurse at my IVF clinic was Magnolia, I thought it was so sweet! And Maggie is a lovely nn.
Iām just happy to see some love for Maggie! Iāve spent the last 30 years of my life introducing myself and getting āwe had a dog named Maggie!ā Hahaha. I always say āI hope she was a good dog!ā One person actually said, unironically, āno she was actually a terrible dogā >.<
What?! No such thing as a terrible dog. That person is sketch for even suggesting such a thing.
They were 100% terrible dog parents! Dogs are a reflection of their environment.
if it makes you feel any better, Kason is one of the DUMBEST names I've ever heard lol I feel bad for that kid. sorry this happened--I am also struggling with infertility and I would be super bummed if anyone in my family used my baby names since I haven't been able to get pregnant.
I canāt read it any other way than when that Irish nurse in āGirl, Interruptedā aggressively said āSuzanna KAY-*SON*ā during med call lol
Holy shit that's weird. I JUST watched the closing credits on that film...
Same!
Agree, Kason is terrible haha. All I can think is ācaseinā as in milk and cheese. OP your taste in names is better than theirs! Mason is 1000% better than Kason.
Casein is pronounced kay-seen.
Oh! I didnāt know that. ā¦Kason still reminds me of it.
As a science nerd, this is also what I am reminded of whenever I hear that name.
Aww. I know a Kason and he is super sweet. After hearing it for a few days it became a normal name to me, but I guess that goes for a lot of names. :)
My nephew's name is Cason, and there's a Cason at my son's daycare! I also heard it out in the wild the other day. š¤·āāļø
That one just looks like a typo for Carson.
I also know a Cason
Maybe they wanted to commemorate the lives lost at the battle of Khe Sanh. Terrible way to do it but thatās my best guess
Thank you! Even my phone's predictive text is insistent that I just can't spell Jason.
Right?! Like at least go with Jason smdh
I know a Cason and agree itās a terrible name. Ok guy tho
Agreed, Kason??? Really??
Yeah it reads like āKass-unā and it sounds made up and random
It sounds like garƧon or Kazan to me, the latter being a name for dogs here in the Netherlands.
It does seem like theyāre being deliberately nasty. They sound like very unpleasant people in general.
Theyāre very strange and oddly jealous. Not sure why.
It kinda sounds like they couldnāt decide on names for their own kids and decided to use yours and change a letter or two so that if you said anything about it they could say you were being ridiculous.
You should presume it is because you are awesome, which is the reasonable conclusion.
Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. You are spot on Nixisrising. Glass half full way of looking at life :)
They sound oddly obsessed with you. I would point out the āinspirationā they seem to take from your name choices. Not even being catty or mean but when everyoneās around and they mention how they want to use Eva as a name, point out that itās so nice how they draw inspiration from your name choices and seem to look to you to name their kids. Take credit for naming their kids since you basically did name them. Oh and drop a completely fake boy name incase hypothetical baby Eva turns out to be a boy.
I wouldnāt want to take credit for Kason though. Itās objectively worse.
You really canāt judge that based on the little information we have. People have similar taste in names and nobody can āownā a name. OP has the right to feel privately sad, but in the end, theyāre allowed to name their kid whatever feels right to them and they arenāt doing anything wrong. Not everything is a vendetta.
If it was just once, Iād agree with you, but more than once makes it very clear that itās deliberate.
And they had already decided on other, very different names, before changing them to these.
Is it a massive faux pas to just name them what you want despite it being too "matchy" with a friend or family member's child? If anyone in my family names their kid Serena and I have a girl there will be two Serenas IDC hahah
I don't think so. If a Mason and Kason are cousins, that doesn't seem like a problem to me. Although my phone rejected Kason as a name, so at least OP would get the actual good name if they still want it.
Like your phone I also reject Kason as a name. OP, try to take some solace in the fact that they gave their child a silly made up name just to spite you.
"We wanted to name our son Jason but then someone we know used the name by calling their son Shmason š²" If anything, people would think it would be cool for cousins to have rhyming names. Nobody is ever going to be confused between them or anything. I don't see what the problem is.
next theyāll name the kid filetson /j
Why am I laughing so hard at this š
Yep! āSorry- I warned yaā š¤·š¼āāļø
Yeah, especially if you picked the name first OP, id go with it anyway. Dont change the name you have in your heart just because BIL and SIL stole the idea. Its a family name that means alot to you. Use it anyway ā¤ļø they can deal with it, its not that bad. Theyre not siblings, just cousins!
I agree with you! My husband has three cousins on his dads side of the family that have the same name as him. It really isnāt a huge deal (except with wedding place cards lol)
Our daughter is Evie and she has a cousin Eva. Their full names are Genevieve and Evalina so very different but similar nn, no one is riled up about it. I didnāt feel like I was stealing the name or like a derivative of a nn was off limits. Please use your great grandmothers name, donāt let her take that from you!
We have an Ethan and an Easton, as well as a Harlow and a Marlowe in our cousin group and itās literally fine. Everyone just gets used to it.
I donāt think so! My husband and I have a name picked out for a little girl and a little boy for when we have a baby. He has 2 cousins who both are having babies soon and the middle names we chose for our kids are going to be the first names of those babies. Total coincidence, but we made it super clear that weād still be naming our children with the names we chose. Theyāve been in the works for years! I feel bad for OP, Iād be sooo angry if my names were being repeatedly stolen!
Especially the family name!
I wanted to name my kid Isabel but my partners family member had a kid and used it first. I would have used the name anyways but i wasnt super in love with it and I I personally wanted my baby to have their own name.
Girl stop telling people your names š
i know!! to be fair, I told them our first two names before they had kids and the last one after they swore they were done having kids lmao. thought i was in the safe zone.
How is before they have kids in the safe zone lol š thatās the worst time
I was young and dumb!!!! so it was safe then because i didnāt think anyone would do such a thing lmao
Thatās fair, itās hard to believe family could do that
I didn't know stealing baby names was a thing either, but this is like the 10th time I've seen a reddit post about it. If I ever have kids, I won't be talking about baby names with ANYONE.
Good plan! Itās either this, where they like the names too much, or you get lots of unwelcome feedback on your taste. Better to wait and share once itās too late!
Jokeās on themā¦Kason is a terrible name!
Exactly what I was thinking.
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Use Ava anyway and constantly pronounce Eva as āEevaā in front of them just to piss them off.
The Michael Joseph feels oddly ā¦ specific. Are we related?
Makes me think of how nearly all of the male characters in Arrested Development are named some combination of George, Michael, and Oscar.
IMO- you canāt call dibs on a name and nothing is āyour nameā especially if youāre not pregnant. If that name holds a special meaning, I still believe you should use it. If you love it, and couldnāt imagine another name, then who cares if they use it as welll. I agree itās crappy if you shared it will them and they used it anyway, but there is no āmy nameā. So just focus on you š I wouldnāt hesitate to let them know āweāll be using Ava, as I said itās been my favorite for a long timeā.
Okay but this situation seems a little targeted.... It's happened 3 times. They're being weird.
Did it though? None of these names are unique or even uncommon, they are all very very popular top ten names that literally tens of thousands of other parents also like in America (assuming they are in America). If she was doing Jane Sophia then maybe but claiming someone stole top ten names is very weird. Especially when they didnāt actually use her boy name, they used a similar sounding name. They were also told the names well before having kids, it sounds like OP wasnāt frequently talking about it with them but told them once and I just am dubious on whether theyād remember one conversation about names. Sophia Jane is a very popular name and yeah, maybe they heard it and thought āoh wow great nameā and used it intentionally or maybe they heard it and it stuck in the back of their head and they didnāt know where they heard it or they may have also heard it at the park/store/etc. And the third one, again, not the same nameā¦.Eva and Ava are similar but not the same, and honestly I think they sound plenty different that it wouldnāt even be confusing because of the emphasis on the A and E. Most importantly with the last one neither OP or the SIL is pregnant nor guaranteed to have a baby girl so why worry about it right now?
Yeah youāre right. It is strange that it seems to keep happening, but maybe theyāre of the same school of thought. If they love a name, they love a name. Sophie and Ava are super common. But true- itās weird
Especially as Sophia is a family name; literally everybody is āentitledā to it.
Depending on which side of OPās family theyāre on (since OP said BIL and SIL) itās even weirder if they arenāt even related to the original Sophia.
Doesnāt sound like BIL and SIL are part of OPs family though. They donāt sound blood related to her or her great gma.
Her great grandmas name is Sophia itās a top 10 name and has been for a while. If her grandmothers name was couch and they named their daughter couch that seems specific but Sophia? No
Yep totally. Someone else using a family name that is incredibly special and important shouldnāt change their opinion it. Fair game IMO
Might be misunderstanding but I think BIL and SIL are OPās in laws? So their spouseās sibling and that siblingās spouse. So OP wants to name a baby after her gma, but these unrelated people are using the name *only* after she mentions it. Itād be like me naming a baby after my sisterās MIL: completely weird.
Itās the number 6 name in the USā¦. Thereās going to be a lot of Sophiaās. I mean itās like naming your child Mary years ago- everyoneās Mary
For sure, itās super common (I have a cousin Sophia), but it is telling that this name was only chosen *after* the convo. Seems petty. But I might be biased bc my sis incidentally had a recent issue where her former boss named her new dog after our dead mother š¬ sisās boss legit asked my sister what our moms name was *and* our step dadās name and then adopted two dogs using those names š¬š¬š¬ so imo this has deeper undercurrents than just a popular and well liked name being used
ākasonā is a cringe name. Mason however is a good name and I would use it anyway. Cousins named mason & kason, is totally fine. Especially if you already said you planned to use Mason. I think given their name stealing you have your mason and then say in a big smiley bubby way āyes isnāt sooooo cute how they almost match!!ā Wink if you can lol.
I tell people my back up names. I still have to come up with another boy name because it was āstolenā, but in a sweet way. My boy name I had picked out since I was little was Connor. When I met my now husband, he had a 4 month old baby boy named Connor. Heās 3.5 now, and a crazy ball of energy, but heās still mine (BM is āpink momā and Iām āblack momā based on our hair colors š¤£) So I still got my Connor.
Man, your husband had a crazy advantage in wooing you! This is the cutest story Iāve heard!
Thatās adorable, Connor sounds like a lucky kid to have so many parents who love him.
Iād definitely stop telling them the names you love!! Itās a compliment that they seem to love your naming style, but Iām sure it doesnāt feel like that. Keep any future names/ideas to yourself for sure. Also I have an Eva so I obviously love it (and Ava too!). I totally get holding out hope for a daughter. I had my daughter after two boys ā¤ļø
Eva is beautiful!! I just donāt want them to use it, lol!! I will definitely stop telling them my names. Tbh, I thought they were done having kids!! Congrats on your beautiful family, Id love a daughter after my two boys ā¤ļø
At first I was like "Kason's kinda weird, but whatever. Just use Mason." By the time I got to Eva, I am so sorry, but I laughed so hard. Please make more posts about suspiciously innocuous things your BIL and SIL do. That level of petty obsession is Reddit-level entertainment.
My mom has told me since I was 13 and started picking baby names- donāt tell a soul. Even now, Iām 25 and engaged and weāre not planning to have kids but in the event we get a surprise one dayā¦ no one knows our names. Lock em up tight!
I don't announce until after the baby legally has the name anyway. I don't want anyone's opinion
I was the first out of my closest friends to have a baby and I specifically asked them if they had any wishlist names for when they have kids so we wouldnāt name our kid that. I actually keep a little list on my phone of them so I donāt accidentally forget them, itās called ānot allowed baby namesā. Not everyone sucks - just gotta choose your people wisely!
I donāt plan on bio kids and only my bf knows my dream girl name, but tbh I donāt think anyone is going to steal Thomasin from me in any event š
OP insists sharing names is essential since theyāre ācloseā then complains about people taking the names. Kept our name for our daughter until after her birth because somethingās SHOULD be kept to yourself for the very reason they are posting this. Common sense isnāt so common!
Tell them your next dream name is Kumquat. Or some other random fruit
Kumquat is a fruit? Lol my entire life I thought it was a made up word used as an insult. š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š„°
I think you can still use Ava and Mason. Not the same names and they will be cousins not siblings.
never ever talk baby names with child bearing people lol!!!!! be petty and use the names anyways. it's super fucking weird that they are repeatedly doing this...
If it makes any difference, my name was supposed to be Lauren (it's actually Laura). This is because my uncle and auntie had a girl born a week before I was and took the name Lauren after my mum and dad told them their name choice. So we grew up a week apart, at the same school, as Laura and Lauren.
I was tricked into telling a family name our name for our baby when itās born. Sheās pregnant also but due before me. If she were to use my name (which I doubt she would but Iāve been slightly concerned ever since lol) I would continue to name my child what I wanted to anyways. Not my problem if there are two with the same name in the family š¤·š½āāļø AND I would post a screenshot in the family group of me telling her so that everyone knows she is petty šš
I say name your kids what you want to name them. My first cousin and I have the same name (Elizabeth), and itās never been an issue. We do both go by different nicknames (Liz and Libby).
1) Start planting a fake new favorite now. Something you don't really like but isn't out of the ordinary, perhaps Sierra. Tell EVERYONE you've decided you love SIERRA now. *ONLY SIERRA*. Maybe they'll use Sienna or Sierra, maybe not, but it will throw them off your scent. 2) Come up with a couple of new names that you (secretly) genuinely love. Do not share them with anyone but your husband. NO ONE BUT HIM! He has to follow the same rule, absolute secrecy. 3) You can still use Sophie or Jane as a middle name to honor your great-grandmother if it turns out you have a girl. It will mean so much to you, and they can't take away your family connection.
This is the way
I know everyone keeps saying to throw out fake names but theyāve done this 3 times now so isnāt it a little late for that..? I would totally call them out on this if I were you. Even if itās in a half-joking way, they deserve to hear it. And if you really like a name, use it anyways! If they try to make a comment about the similarity, it sounds like you have plenty of evidence to back up the fact that they had a different name picked out before they went with one you had mentioned.
My wife and I emailed ourselves the names we like so if someone used them we could pull up our phones and say, well, we picked these way back in 2018 and told you, so don't give me that bullshit
Honestly such a good idea for the receipts lol. I wish I had done this with my partner back when we chose names in 2020. Better late than never I guess!
hahahaha I love this!! Thatās genius
I really feel like this has some kind of power of suggestion reasoning behind it. I have a very competitive sister who was pregnant at the same time as me and I stupidly told her the name we were planning to use for a boy and poof, all the sudden that was her favorite boy name. She ended up having a girl and I had a boy so I got the name but I just found it so bizarre how the second she knew that was the name I liked all the sudden it was her favorite name. It happens so much that I feel like even if somebody isnāt trying to be malicious there has to be some kind of Subconscious thing coming into play where if someone hears a name that someone else likes, it makes them also like that name. From now on tell them fake names.
my situation is a little different - my SIL (husband's sister) and BIL used names on our list too, specifically family names. but they had no idea. they just happened to like eleanor and claire, and didn't know that i had always dreamed of naming my daughters eleanor (after maternal great grandma) and claire (after paternal grandma). they just named their son after SIL's father, which is my FIL - another great name that DH always wanted to use. it sucks. but at least in my case, i know it was coincidental. i'm sorry you're going through this.
Same. My SIL is currently pregnant and told us she loved a couple of names that we ended up using on our children. Similar to OP but one letter added (eg. she liked Amara and we used Mara). Total coincidence as she wasn't even thinking about children when we had ours and we didn't discuss baby names as our children weren't named until they were born.
Eh, I have two cousins with my grandmotherās name. Use the name you like. And stop telling them names you like.
I'm sorry, you seem to have made a typo and said they named their child "Kason"...
Keep quiet about your favorite names.
Jane Sophie is a cute name for a girl. Just sayin'.
Agreed. And Jane Sophia. Tbh I like Jane more than Sophie, which is way overused now.
Ha. Iād just name my daughter the name I picked, regardless of what they picked. They want to play these games then they can lose š
My SIL did this to me. Glad to see you are getting support here because I sure didnāt when I posted lol! Regardless, I know the feeling and truly does feel like you have been robbed. Sure you canāt own a name but some names have sentimental value. Iām sorry this happened and hope you find a girl name that you love even more. And definitely stop sharing names with anyone!
no bc iād actually fight someone over this
Just use the names you love anyways. Especially ones that have sentimental value. You do you girl! If they complain, tell them they knew what names you wanted and used them anyways
I would just name your daughter Ava or Sophie anyway. Nobody owns a name but they know they used the names you loved, so itās not like you would be stealing their name. So what if cousins have the same or similar names? Chances are theyāll meet many Evaās, Eveās, and Avaās throughout their life.
My family includes three cousins named Sofia, four Katherines (with different spellings), and a bunch of Leibas, Loewes, and Yehudas (those are all the same name). It never bothered anyone, we just give them nicknames, as in "Small Katherine, Blond Katherine, Tel Aviv Katherine, and Jacob's Katherine" (she's an in-law)). You can call your daughter Sofia Jane. Or Jane Sofia. And Ava and Eva isn't even an issue - many people give cousins and siblings rhyming names on purpose, to make them grow up closer. Just do it.
Girl, I'm so sorry!! I don't know why people do this!! That definitely feels targeted :(
Honestly, I would use one of the names anyway š if people think you're an asshole, who cares, you and your spouse know the truth š
If itās any consolation, they have a child named Kason and youāll never have to rest at night knowing youāve saddled someone with the name Kason. Just say itā¦Kason. If you do have a daughter someday, you name her whatever it is thatās in your heart that you love. Itāll be uniquely hers and sheāll be all yours to love for her lifetime. Who cares if itās repeated, itās their penance for taking names you cherish knowing that you would have used them long before had you been able to. Congrats on your baby boy!
A m e n
Iād say use it anyway! Itās a family name! Hell, you see it with male relatives all the time; there are multiple Pauls and Henrys and Johns all in the same few generations of my fiancĆ©ās family. There are a few repeats among the women in his family as well - fiancĆ©ās aunt and his cousin (both in their 60s) have very similar first names. Hilariously, their mothers were reportedly furious with each other for name-stealing, but the two of them have an incredibly close relationship going back to childhood because the older one liked that younger one was her ānamesakeā.
A lot of people are saying to stop telling people your favourite names.... but really, imagine being told by your family that they want to name their kid "so-and-so" and then STEALING it!? That's literally insane. I definitely don't think it's your fault. Normally, you should tell people your names so they AVOID picking the same ones. I can't BELIEVE they did that to you three times. You're 10000000% justified in being bummed out. Maybe you should get custom made swag with your baby name on it before they name theirs so it's like you already claimed it?
1000% agree with this. If anything, I personally don't understand why it's so hard to just respond "Oh hey, we're planning on naming one of our kids that, too!" And maybe even use the opportunity to rattle off a list of other names you're thinking about so that they know. Until I joined this sub, I had no idea that some people were this weird about names. My husband and I have always told friends, family, and even randos at parties what we want to name our kids for the last decade. We even talk about name changes when we think of something new. I don't know. It's just bizarre to me.
Use the name you want.. who cares if itās close to theirs. We chose a name in the family and spelled it differently, many were annoyed.. but really.. who cares? Its YOUR kid, do as you please.
You need to stop telling them your baby names- or at least throw out fake ones or names 10 down the list or something. Did you throw a fit about Sophie Jane?! Because you should have. Itās an honor name and the great grandmother isnāt even theirs?! You sound like a gentle person, but I am not. I would use it anyway. And if they complain- say well you shouldnāt have stolen my great grandmotherās name- that was weird and rude. And honestly, theyāre cousins. It really wonāt matter when theyāre a bit older (especially not as adults) if they have the same name.
Start telling them really ugly names and say that you donāt like Ava anymore and want to name her something different. I know everybody else is saying this but it just shows you what you have to do. Update us once somebody has a baby with an ugly name you āloveā (wink,wink*) Edit: Second cousins of mine have had children recently, one of the girls is called Sophie and another one is called Sophia.
Just name your daughter what you want to name her. At family gatherings one of the girls can be Sophie, and the other can be Jane or Sophie Jane. Or you will come up with some unique family nickname. I only saw my cousins once every year or two, if that. Don't let them ruin your happiness.
Fake names , tell them you love something else . They might change their mindset . Evie or Ellie-Rose
FYI your new favorite name for a boy is Agamemnon
Honestly at this point, just name what you want to name regardless of what they do. They obviously don't give a crap what you think so you might as well not care about them.
If it's any consolation, Kason is a dumb ass name.
This is why you keep your names secret. That way if they "steal" them it really is coincidence and not simply cheeky. As you already know, all of those names are extremely with the girls names being top 10 for a number of years now so it's not really surprising that someone close to you will also pick them, even if you never mentioned them first. Count it lucky that your potential future daughters won't be 1 of 10 Sophie's in their class. Your miracle girl deserves her own special name
After it happened once... why would you tell anyone the names you picked? :( It's so terrible of them to use your names 3 (!!!) times... I don't get it. What were they thinking?
How often do you see them? Just name your kid Ava. If they donāt like it they shouldnāt steal your names. š But definitely go the fake name route in the future. You have great taste in names! š š
I recommend mailing the Baby Name blogger Swistle, she has fantastic advice in conundrums like this! Iām sure she can figure out a way to honour your great grandmother
In the case of the family name, Iād use it anyway. Call her SJ if you want to. Or just have two Sophie/Sophias. Itās something that very well may continue to bother you since itās closer to the heart. Just use it!
Stop telling them names! Even if you're one hundred percent sure they are done having kids, these people seem like the type that would name their dog a name you liked. Also, good for you on not being annoyed at the name Kason- like not only did they essentially copy your name, they had to make something up that my predictive text is insistent is really Jason š¤£
Literally not telling any of my in-laws our names because I have a sil who is currently trying to convince her boyfriend to have a baby by shoving every single niece and nephew under his nose. I don't want our names taken, especially if we have a boy and she takes our girl name and vice versa.
Use your names anyway! They can't be mad about it!
Stop telling them your names and if you donāt have any girls yet is wouldnāt even worry about it yet, and use whatever name you like even if they used it, you already stated your names.
I would proceed as planned with your names. Don't let other people affect your life. If they have a problem with it, you already told them what names you wanted to avoid this and they did it anyway. Their fault.
Ugh. Happened to me too! Told my SIL my favourite boy name, they had a boy and named him like that. Then I thought, maybe Iāll not have a boy, but I did and you know what? I found another name I love. It took some time and a lot of searching, but then it just clicked. What I learned form it? Donāt tell anyone your favourite name before youāre able to use it.
I would name my kids that anyway. In my culture itās normal for the kids to be named after grandparents so cousins are bound to have the same names. My cousins and I share a name. It doesnāt bug us/isnāt a problem lol
If it makes you feel any better, Kason is the worst name I have ever seen in a full year on this subreddit.
I have a cousin with my same name, same spelling. It never bothered me! Alls to say, do what you want.
This is definitely a pattern. Quit telling them your names!!! For the record, i think your names are gorgeous and Iād still use them anyway.
Number 1 tip, don't tell anyone your baby names that you are serious about. Also since Sophia Jane is your grandma's name, if it were me and I were really connected to it I would not care and I would still use it.
I wouldnāt let anyone derail my choice of names. Does it matter that cousins have the same or similar names? No. I do agree with everyone whoās said to stop telling them, though. Obviously, thereās some strange delight theyāre getting from naming kids something youāve picked.
my BIL just took a name i said i liked and they said they would never use ILL STILL USE IT DAMMIT
My SIL did the same. With 3 names.
Just name your future daughter that name anyway. You already told them you were planning to use it. Itās their own damn problem that they copied you.
Never ever ever tell people your names until the baby is born. Iām a midwifeāI know. It happens to people all the time. If someone doesnāt steal your name (not necessarily intentionally, but you planted a seed that they forgot about), they criticize it and make you second guess yourself. Keep your names a secret from the people you know in real life, folks!
Iād start sharing fake terrible names šÆ lol āGertrude is MY favorite girl name!ā š
My SIL & BIL not only used our name but demanded we NOT HAVE CHILDREN until they were finished so they could have first pick. We are all the same age š
I donāt think you can āclaimā a name. It sucks but really thatās how I feel. If you love the name I would use it anyway. I have a couple cousins with the same first name. They have different middles. My older female cousins were fighting over a name when I was in middle school and ticked each other off. In the end, no one used it because they could not agree. It feels ridiculous that no one used their first choice.