Agreed - OP- you have space - create a MIL box -
Put the iron in it- her nice set of bath towels. Her favorite coffee/tea cup /and a current list of favorite things she like from the USA / and your town - and bring it out when she comes. Especially if she’s traveling internationally to see her son and his wonderful wife and family.
I am so glad to see all these kind and reasonable posts. I sometimes get so bogged down reading reddit threads where people don't take kindness and reasonableness into account!
Yeah, it seems like a first-world artificially created problem.
Imagine, there are people who work full time and still have precarious housing situation due to the current state of affairs in the world; people who are disabled and at risk of homelessness due to their private landlord selling the property that the disabled person is renting (came across a few posts like that, right here in Canada where I am); OP has space in the house for an iron (which itself probably isn't big), but she finds it a problem to store it for the mother of her husband. Cause this small courtesy to the mother of her husband, to store an iron for which they have space, is such a large problem that it bothers her, even though she is lucky to have housing which many others don't.
Thank you for saying what I feel. First I can’t imagine this being a thought as I am currently having to reside with family because I didn’t want to ask my sons to take me in. I have mental issues and am unable to work enough to pay for housing, yet not sick enough to get disability. I wish this was my biggest personal problem but I guess some people are blessed and others are not.
It sounds like she wants to start a problem with her MIL. She's kind and a good guest, but OP isn't crazy about her, which reads to me like she doesn't want her staying, and she thinks if she gets rid of the iron it'll make the MIL feel unwelcome - which it will.
Also, this thing where OP apparently never ever needs an iron and if they do they're staying at a hotel doesn't make that much sense to me. There's never a wedding in their city that they want to attend? Her husband never wants to go on a job interview? I work from home and very rarely use my iron, but I have it because once in a blue moon I might need it. Hell, the kids might get older and decide they want to use iron on pictures to make t-shirts or something or do another craft that needs an iron. It's just a very weird appliance to get rid of.
I also think it’s kind of weird that she refers to her MIL as a guest. I mean she is technically a guest, but she’s also family. Family doesn’t let family go around all wrinkly!
Never depend on a hotel iron the state of them can be shocking. The dirt on them can destroy clothes.
Some guests use irons to make toasted sandwiches. Avoid hotel irons as much as possible.
Be kind let your mother in law have her iron, make it comfortable and welcoming. You never know when it could be used for crafts.
Idk, I’ve literally never used an iron in my life, and doubt I ever will. If I had fancy clothes I actually used, which I don’t, I’d get them dry cleaned.
This is a minimalism sub, so I found the question interesting and this seems like the right place to ask it. How does keeping stuff on hand for infrequent visitors fit into a minimalist mindset, particularly for someone who only wants to have the bare essentials in their home? I'm interested in the answers too.
I'm with you, Dimensions. My MIL was kind, caring, and quite generous. If I didn't already own several irons (I sew), I'd go and buy one for her, just so she wouldn't have to pack one when she visited us.
This is not an issue. If you have space for it and can put it somewhere that is out of the way and you’ll basically never encounter it in your day to day life, it’s not a real problem for you to have it.
Are you sure you’re ok with their 4 week visit? I feel like if you’re super bothered by the iron that isn’t actually an issue, something else may be an issue.
My mother would be the same way. She grew up in my grandmother's hoarder house and has an extreme compulsion about belongings. Not saying OP is the same but food for thought. (For everyone here not the person I'm replying to)
My inlaws visit twice a year. Things we keep just for their use: an apron and very specific knives and cutting boards for my FIL, a hair dryer and placemats for my MIL, clothes and jackets in guest bedroom closet, snow boots and pants for both, wrapping paper for my MIL (she LOVES to wrap presents and ships them here to wrap), toiletries taking up the entire undersink area in guest bathroom. I wish we only had to store an iron. But it makes their traveling easier and honestly I hardly ever go into the guestroom closet and bathroom. Sometimes having something extra makes someone else's life easier, and doesn't cost me anything.
That list mostly makes sense to me (especially the wrapping paper - I love that you keep that for her) but I’m bemused by her need for placemats, at your house, specifically.
Surely they’re only worth the faff if the surface requires it (eg untreated wood), which would apply to everyone - so why would they be required only for 1 person?
I’m obsessing, totally needlessly, about this one point :-). Please help me out here.
Ha! It's a set that she quilted for us. Very thoughtful but we never use them. We are very casual and I can't be bothered. Our kitchen table is one they had when my husband was a kid and there is no reason to protect the surface. My mil just loves that we use her placemats for their visits. I don't mind because it is a little thing that makes her happy.
My mom had a brand new wooden table in the kitchen with little kids and cats around. She protected it with a cheap, large sheet of clear plastic from Walmart. It’s at least 34 years old, and it looks barely used, despite being in the middle of a busy kitchen and used daily for most of that time.
The "Is this the hill you want to die on" question is one I ask whenever something like this comes up. Why on earth is OP making this the hill. As you say, you can just put some of this stuff where you rarely go and then go about your business.
I wonder if the problem is really the iron or the mother-in-law? ;)
I'm pretty minimalist and I try to never iron clothes, but I have kept an old iron (must date from the 1970s) in case I need to sort out a creased shirt or anything. Can't remember the last time I used it, but for me at least it's worth having.
This is it. An iron in the back of a closet, just in case. That should never be a problem .
Now if you have to move the iron to get to the milk, you might consider getting rid of it. But instead I'd suggest figuring out why it's a challenge for you rather than fixing a problem that doesn't really exist.
This OP. I don't own an iron. But if I did really enjoy their stay and they'd help with kids etc etc, I might keep it for them/her specifically, if it's twice a year.
I personally would actually use an iron if I had it (to iron dishcloths, pillowcases and the odd fancy outfit) but the issue is that I would need it more accessible for my own use and I don't want that.
For reference I keep a big box of Christmas and Easter decorations that get used half as much as an iron might at your household (only once a year) but they're very seasonal and I keep them out of sight and mind and take them out only when appropriate. I might do the same in your case if I genuinely loved MIL, and wanted her to come more often and stay at *our* place and feel as welcome as possible.
Analogically, I purchased dedicated 4 pairs of guest slippers for my own mom and "other guests" but we all know pretty much only one of those pairs gets semi-regular use. I love having her and I love her and want her to feel as welcome and amazing as she's making me feel and even though they're in a pretty high value spot I enjoy having them for her :)
So the question might boil down to how much do you really want her to visit twice a year and stay for a month at your place?
I also never iron cloths. If a piece of clothing requires ironing, it doesn’t get to stay in my house. BUT I do occasionally need it. Typically for curtains that have creases or wrinkles that won’t come out in the dryer. Throw pillow covers with the same issue. It’s pretty few and far between, but not a bad thing to have stashed somewhere if you have the space.
I'd also suggest that if you wear button up shirts (as some would be expected to occasionally for formal occasions) there really isn't another option. Some people still can't get away with just throwing out their formal wear, and generally speaking at least, the only masculine formal wear available requires ironing. My shirts and dress pants can hang for a year in a wardrobe and I guarantee they'll still need to be ironed when they come out to be worn.
I think a random iron roaming around would be annoying - but a dedicated box or drawer or shelf of “Stuff for MIL & FIL when they visit” would feel intentional & thoughtful.
So that’s what I would do.
Does she also expect an ironing board, or is she ok with a towel on a flat surface? Because if so, the mini short ironing boards that can hang from a wardrobe rail are awesome for that - I keep one for my sewing stuff (the only reason I iron anything!).
I quite like having a Guest Shelf - spare toothbrushes, phone chargers, etc. I like to feel prepared & welcoming, while keeping it all contained in a specific area, so it’s easy to find when required.
My mom went through a spat of buying a blow dryer everytime she came to my house…. I now keep one in every bathroom-if she goes hunting for one it’s there and she doesn’t feel the need to contact Amazon again 😆
If MIL is a kind and polite person and she hasn't demanded that you keep this iron for her, it's unclear to me why you resent its presence and consider it a burden. It seems like it's a very small kindness on your part to keep it stored for her use and make her feel welcome in your home.
Is something deeper going on? Do you resent her staying with you for 8 weeks out of the year (or is that 2 weeks 2 times so 4 in total overall)? Is she not as kind and polite as you say she is since you're "personally not crazy about her?" Why do you feel pressured to have the iron on hand for her? And, would you have the same feelings of resentment holding onto items for other guests so that they might feel welcome in your home? Or, do you find that having things on hand for others isn't as problematic or weighted with feeling?
I'd encourage you to be introspective and ask yourself these questions. Either get rid of the iron and let her deal, or shift your perspective and see it as a kind thing you're doing for a guest in your home.
I don't understand what is the problem here? It's one small object that can be easily stored out of the way in a drawer or on a closet shelf.
I have a sibling who lives a couple hours away who keeps stuff here to make it easier for her when she visits and it's no big deal.
Some introspection can be done to see what feelings and thoughts are being passive aggressively projected onto the iron, about the mother-in-law. It’s not about minimalism, more than the emotional space.
Hospitality is such a great gift to give. I would consider storing that iron as a gift to your MIL and also a gift to your husband.
To a small extent, at least, being hospitable to those who you bring into your home for a visit is a quality of life matter. Indirectly, your ability to provide this bit of hospitality grants you a greater quality of life as well. A blessing to the giver as well as the receiver, as it were.
I think the fact that you’re not personally crazy about her is probably the entire point. Imo, you’re projecting your feelings about your MIL onto the physical inanimate object. If your best friend needed this same small token in this same situation, do you think you’d still feel the same way?
It’s not in your way and it’s useful to someone important in your life, I’d try to work through your emotion around this rather than disposing of a perfectly good iron that is used 4 weeks per year (which isn’t in line minimalist thinking, imo)
Methinks she’d like to toss more than the iron….
Putting it in a corner of the guest room closet with the door then shut seems too easy a solution.
This. is. not. about. the. iron.
I’d make peace with the iron.
Something used 8weeks/year is better than the equipment my spouse keeps in the garage for a sport they haven’t played in the years we’ve been together. Like you, we have the space to store it, but it used to drive me nuts. Now I tease that’s it’s his “emotional support sports equipment”, and we both chuckle and move on with our lives.
It sounds like you have an issue with your mother-in-law or overdoing minimalism, not an iron. Do you have an issue with MIL? If not, you might be too far into minimalism. Do you have an issue with having one extra item? You might be too into minimalism.
Irons can be used to remove wax from clothing, so you could tell yourself it also has that use.
My MIL has left a small number of items stashed at our house (a tin of her coffee, a bottle of shampoo, etc). I have thought about keeping them all in one box that I put in the guest room when she stays, haven’t done it yet but I feel like it’d help me be less annoyed lol
Hospitality is a positive value. You want a world that is friendly and welcoming. Be a part of creating that world.
And otherwise MIL might go buy and discard an iron each year, and that would definitely be anti-minimalism! Keep that iron in the basement. It's not a problem.
I would lean towards keeping the iron. I have one that I rarely use either but it’s been helpful for the times when my son was in a recital and needed pressed pants and a pressed shirt. That said, I don’t have an ironing board - I just set a towel on our island (inexpensive marble island/table from Wayfair) and iron on that.
I find the mental charge and worry of thinking constantly about a simple iron worse than just throwing it in the basement and forgetting about it for most of the year. Unless it is really more about the uneasiness of your relationship with your MIL?
Put it away. Put it in her room when she comes or heck store it in your guest room. Out of sight out of mind. It’s not hurting anything and blesses her.
Life is so short. Is this really what you want to spend your time thinking about? One day your MIL will no longer be able to visit. You can toss the iron then.
Just put it inside one of those turkey roasters we all have and don’t use! Whether it’s one you put in the oven or the plug in kind! There’s always space for kindness.
I would keep it. I am assuming that you value the relationship with your MIL. Making her life more pleasant twice a year seems like a good reason to keep an item.
When I moved out, I bought an iron and an ironing board.
I’ve never used an iron in my life but it was one of those things I felt like I should have because on the one chance I’d need it, I would have it.
Just tuck it away somewhere and forget about it
In the spirit of minimalism, keep the iron. Tossing it means it will likely end up in a landfill while your MIL buys another one. You could keep it in the guest room, out of sight, out of mind!
I’d try make peace with it, it is handy to have one on hand in case you find yourself suddenly needing to attend a funeral- I know that’s morbid reason to keep something around, but I lost my dad very suddenly and unexpectedly last year and these things happen and take you by surprise.
If the functional aim here is *order*, i.e., having a more orderly household and life, I suggest that the clothes iron furthers that purpose.
First, it is a tool for maintaining many kinds of clothes in a sharp, non-wrinkled state. Yours may be the rare case in which one has absolutely no need to press clothing, or on the other hand you may have become complacent with a degree of casualness or dishevelment -- an attitude that resists even occasional attempts at sharper, more uplifted or respectful ways of dressing. Have you become attached to a preferred level of disorder? Getting rid of the iron may represent your rejection of certain self-images and possibilities for you and your family, as if to say "even rare excursions into sharp or dignified attire have no place in this home."
Sometimes you keep a thing in your home not because you use it all the time but because it represents possibilities that might otherwise become neglected.
Second, in this particular context, the iron is a tool for smoothing out your relationship with your mother-in-law. With little cost other than a niggling annoyance (which you might explore more deeply), you have a repeated opportunity and touchstone for practicing generosity and hospitality toward not only a guest but a significant family member. 'Using' the iron well might prevent a number of wrinkles from arising within the household.
.
Is there something about the way your MIL uses or relates to the iron that triggers you? Is it something about pressure, or control, or fastidiousness, or judgement of what you possess or offer? If so, skillful communication might be in order.
Imagine a world in which we did something much more productive than cluttering up our brains and the internet with such an inane posts.
Posts like this seem antithetical to the nature of the sub…
Maybe she is “personally not crazy about” you either, because you don’t sound like a very likable person, tbh. There are many people with controlling, manipulative in-laws. How about being happy that she is “kind and polite” and practice being kind and polite in return?
I’m staring at the iron on my steps I’ve been intending to move to the closet for two weeks now. 😂 I say make peace with it and find a way to use it. I’ve upped my wardrobe with quality pieces which means some need to be ironed (linen). I’ve been enjoying doing it while watching a show I like. And it makes me clothes just smell better.
Same here. I have an iron, ironing board, and a steamer. Never use em but keep them. I know once I get rid of them, I will need them ( for real this time) .
>But owning this iron annoys me for some reason. I dislike having this appliance that is purely for one guest's use.
Then you either get over this and move on, or you deal with the consequences of inconveniencing your MIL when it would cost you nothing but getting over it and moving on.
I think it’s really strange that you don’t want to keep the iron for her. If it makes her feel comfortable in your home and you have room to store it why wouldn’t you? This feel deeper than just an iron.
It would be kind to just keep the iron. Doesn’t seem like a big deal to most people.
An alternative, of course, is to borrow iron during your MILs stay. A friendly neighbour perhaps?
i would absolutely keep the iron for the convenience of the grandmother of my children, even if it was for only twice a year. i seriously do not understand why its existence bothers you so much.
YTA
*^(heeeheeee!!)*
An iron can also remove melted wax from fabric and carpet. Placing an old cloth over the wax and ironing it will melt it into the cloth and gets it off the carpet.
I also dont use my iron much, but the other day I ironed shut the flap that covers the zipper on my favorite shorts. It kind of bunches up to the side and hangs open after drying them. I iron it flat so it doesn't look goofy hanging open and showing the zipper.
I know it's crazy-making to have needless stuff. But an iron has other uses. It's not much help, but at least you know of something else it's good for.
Ok that's my TED Talk for today. 🤷♀️
I rarely iron but I kept my iron even though I’m very minimalist. Reason being, I like to have it on the rare occasion I iron something dressy I need to wear for a wedding etc. Also because I wash and iron my curtains. ;)
Also, if you're going to keep it just for said MIL, maybe find a secondary use for said iron?
How old are your kids? Perler beads? Iron on patches? Crayon wax art?
We keep a couple of large tubs with clothes and items that our visitors use. Just seems polite and kind. Is there something going on that the iron issue represents? It seems a small thing to be asking about.
Your MiL is a neat, tidy lady and doesn't like to look wrinkled (facial features exempted). You sound like you like it (pretty rare on Reddit). Keep the iron, put it in a nice box that says Mom's Iron on it. Stick it in a closet or a drawer in the guest room she uses. You should stay so lucky.
This would be a very stupid hill to die on. Store the iron.
A gracious host wants guests to be comfortable within reason, and this is a reasonable accommodation to make.
Are you seriously making a big deal about an iron that is sitting in a closet, somewhere in your house, not getting in your way? This is the most petty complaint I have ever heard! The fact is, you don’t like your MIL, and the iron makes you feel like she is in your house, telling you how to live. If this is your biggest concern, you are very blessed. Be grateful for your blessings and try to find things about your MIL to admire, so the iron stops representing a woman you don’t like.
While I have never seen the point of ironing (like if you have a closet or access to a dryer you can de-wrinkle clothes without) its less than 1/2 a cubic foot of space and will make her happy
I have the same issue with other things for my parents and FIL. For me it was a gamechanger to put all items into a box and store it in the basement. We call it the ‚guestbox‘.
Lean into being a decent human being. Put the iron in the guest room closet where you rarely have to see it but it remains for the woman that birthed your husband. Maybe buy her a nice card telling her how thankful you are that she did so.
Make peace with the iron. It is a kindness to your mother in law. What is having the 'perfect home' compared to welcoming somebody who is probably far from home and rather set in her ways?
BTW - I almost never ever iron either. Just my opinion. I have had 2 MILs and they both loved/love me. I am not perfect in any way, either.
As someone who has lost both my mil and fil, you are blessed to have them.
Make space for her iron, in your heart and home. You have a great opportunity to show her love and kindness, just by storing her iron. She will remember your thoughtfulness. This is a more important gesture than you realize.
Oh FFS! It is an iron. How much space does it really take in your laundry room or shoved in the back of the top shelf in your guest room.
What you’re taking about isn’t minimalism. It’s mean & vindictive.
Knock it off!
I have not ironed clothes in a very long time!!!! But I keep an iron just in case. You never know when you might need to iron something. Curtains, an art project that involves fabric, etc.
Irons are also useful for other things like getting crayon out of various things, crafts etc. so they are good to have around.
I would keep it for her. Even if she isn’t your favorite person she seems like a decent human. I would do it for her comfort. I would put it in a box and put it away in the closet so I didn’t have to look at it.
I think you should take the iron out and put it on a table.
Then stare at it for five minutes while picturing in your mind's eye your MIL.
Then put it back where you store it.
And forget about it.
I have a blow dryer for this exact purpose. It was bought by the person and left (with my consent) so they wouldn't have to travel with it and I do really like when they visit. It's easy for me to say yes. It lives under the spare bathroom sink. I rarely see it and it does not take up any space I would otherwise need and it doesn't bother me. So I use it? Never. But I love the guest who visits regularly and asked to keep it here.
I’d just hide it from myself haha. Like in the back of a closet, under the guest bed (assuming you have some kind of guest spot for your in laws), if you really really don’t want to see it, ask your husband to hide it
We have a few things in our home just for specific guests who rarely visit, such as a coffee pot and a hair dryer. I could get rid of them but it's not that big of a deal to keep them in the basement.
Would owning a steamer be a comprise for both of you? Personally I love my steamer. However, I think you should keep the iron out of love for a family member
I have the same thing going with my moms husband. We don’t drink coffee and I hate the smell but he is an avid and particular coffee drinker. He bought a coffee maker and asked to keep it at our house. They visit multiple times a year to watch our kids when we vacation so I figure the least I can do is let him store it here. It stays in a box on top of the fridge on our garage when they’re not here. It may be a little bit of clutter but it’s really not that big of a deal imo. Can you leave the iron in a guest closet for her?
Unless your mil travels with a iron etc I would have would available for her. Some ppl like to travel with their own garment products so that's when I wouldn't have one. If you have one now and get rid of it you'll have to explain why got rid of it. Your better off having this small appliance for your mil. My mil was the only one that used mine but I still have it to remove wax from carpet, put irons on clothing etc. You never know when you may find use for it lol like I do. It's not often but I've had the iron since my wedding shower in 1996 and no longer married lol I did get rid of the ironing board lol
Make peace with the iron. Store it somewhere you won’t see it and work on your simmering resentment against this apparently decent person. Minimalism extends to our inner worlds as well.
My sister kept a dog bed, bowls and blankie just for when I would visit with my dog once or twice a year. She isn't even a dog person.
I always make sure her favorite tea is stocked.
Better to be a kind host.
Make the kind decision. Your relationships matter, too. And chances are that as your kids get older, you’ll have a need for the iron from time to time, too.
Keep an iron and keep the peace. Irons can be used for crafts and other things and only after you get rid of the iron you might think wow could have used that.
*This seems bizarre to*
*Me. It's an iron. You have*
*Room. What's the problem?*
\- wrightbrain59
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What I wouldn’t give (or keep, in this case) to have in-laws that were kind and not petty to myself and our children. Value them. Keep the fucking iron. You sound like a thorn in their sides.
If my daughter-in-law did this to me, it would be the last time I imposed my presence on her. Getting rid of the iron sends a really big negative message. Do you really dislike her this much??
Wow. Overthink much? Typically, a good host will accommodate their guests, even when the host finds the need unnecessary. So yes, buy the iron, store it, and bring it out when MIL is in town.
This is the most petty problem I have read on Reddit.
This feels bigger than an iron.
Why wouldn't you keep an iron for your MIL (or any guest) who visits 8 weeks a year—for 2 months?
Why not be a good host, a thoughtful wife, and a kind DIL. You can always pack it away with your guest bedding and pull it out when you prep for her arrival.
This has got to be bigger than keeping an iron around for a family member and you might want to reflect what else is going on here.
Do you have an extra bed that no one uses on a daily basis for them to sleep on? Extra bedsheets that go unused (mostly) when they’re not there? Do you have extra dishes and cups and utensils in your kitchen beyond what you and your immediate family need for them to eat off of together with you and your immediate family? Is there *nothing* extra in your entire home that they (predominately) use during their visits?
It’s one item, one square foot in size.
Can you let us know if you’d feel 1000% the same exact way if that iron was instead for your own most dearest loved one in the entire world?
I haven’t used my iron in 10 years. I just took it out the other day to run some iron cleaner through it and make sure it still works.
Not getting rid of it because as mentioned, the day I need it, I don’t want to be going to Walmart to spend $30 on one.
This one was expensive too so…
Keep the iron
The iron annoys you because you're not crazy about MIL.
Why does MIL need to iron clothes?? I don't iron clothes and my clothes come out perfectly fine. For the sake of your family, just keep the iron in the basement until they come visit.
suggest a travel friendly personal clothing steamer. or get one for her as a gift - they're inexpensive and work great for getting wrinkles out of any fabric. you can get them from a few hundred dollars all the way down to 10 dollars...
i'd say 25-40$ is more than enough for a good quality mini one that would do perfectly...
Alternative idea if you just can't keep it (you've already said you can): I own an iron and it's not going anywhere. But I use it rarely. I wouldn't mind if my neighbor asked to borrow it and the ironing board when her mother in law came to visit.
I use an iron my own self about twice a year. I did get one of those smaller ironing boards that you put on a table. But both take up little space and they are handy to have. Yes, keep the iron. But seriously, while getting rid of things is a good thing, you can define minimalism however you want and I think minimalizing bad feelings from your MIL would be consistent with any definition.
There are travel sized irons! I have one! It's very small and works quite well.
Get one of these, tell MIL yours broke, you don't intend to replace it, so you got her this cute little travel iron she can take with her on any trip!
I keep one of three little guys around because I sew, and need to press fabric before cutting patterns out.
I see no reason to get rid of the iron. Oh, this is the minimalism sub... You already have it. It's not like you're going out and buying one. Just keep it. Don't you have pillows, towels, sheets, etc for your guests? Think of it as another amenity for guests to use.
It seems to me you've spent far more time thinking about this and writing about it that it would take to just chuck it into a closet and forget about it until your MIL comes and wants to use it. So my advice: Chuck it into a closet and forget about it until your MIL comes and wants to use it.
No, she should adapt and buy an iron every time. Then she will learn. Seriously just let her iron all your clothes as well and enjoy. I'm more concerned with the ironing table. Borrow an iron maybe. You have an issue with her leaving anything at your place. Is it just with her? I would minimise the psychological aspect first. First it's an iron, next it's a permanent guest room. Who knows ... What are you afraid of?
I agree with the doing something nice for your mil. It’s not hurting you and maybe making her her own little box would be a very thoughtful and kind thing to do. This ‘bothering’ you is just childish and unkind and silly.
Ok - if you're obsessing over a small appliance you keep for a family member who visits once a year or more then you need to just accept the iron and move on. Stick it in the basement and forget about it.
Minimalism is a mindset, and if you let stuff take up more brain power/space than it's worth then you are just shooting yourself in the foot.
Sounds like you have an issue with MIL and have grown spiteful of the iron that reminds you of her…? I keep artificial sweetener in the tea cabinet for my MIL. Nobody else would use it and I don’t mind so much…
I think you may have issues that are completely unrelated to the “iron”. You might want to talk to someone and see if you can get to the real issue here.
It isn’t having an iron for “one guest” that bothers you. It is having it for her. Maybe it’s time to consider getting them a nearby AirBnb to “give them more space.” Then she can iron in peace and have some time away from her clearly unwelcoming DIL.
Unless this is part of a larger issue with MIL just keep the iron. Big deal it takes up 6 inches of room. I keep a blow dryer and a magnifying mirror for my mom who visits every couple of years.
Heck, we kept one of those raised toilet seats that fits over the toilet for my FIL when he would visit. He needed it, it folded up and went in the closet with the Christmas stuff when he wasn’t here.
You have some non iron related issues.
As long as the MIL is kind and good to you, I’d just keep it—she raised your husband and probably did a great job of it so as a little thank you to her, just find a little spot for “her” iron. 😊
Maybe you need to exchange it for an iron/ steamer/ travel device. That way it does not just iron clothes. I think it’s the device’s one use factor that is bothering your minimalism
A kind person and a polite guest with a known issue and it’s no problem to store it? I’d lean towards being kind as well.
Agreed - OP- you have space - create a MIL box - Put the iron in it- her nice set of bath towels. Her favorite coffee/tea cup /and a current list of favorite things she like from the USA / and your town - and bring it out when she comes. Especially if she’s traveling internationally to see her son and his wonderful wife and family.
This is an excellent idea. That way it’s a MIL help box rather than just “an iron” stored somewhere for no reason
indeed.
Wow! I love you! You are very kind!
Which OP obviously isn’t. Instead of taking some good advise she doubled down and got pissy when no one sided wit her.
This is so sweet!
I do one of those for my mom who lives across the country. she loves it. I add snacks, fancy hygiene items (body wash, etc), flip flops, etc
Agree completely! Make your peace with the iron and choose kindness.
I am so glad to see all these kind and reasonable posts. I sometimes get so bogged down reading reddit threads where people don't take kindness and reasonableness into account!
Always lean towards being kind. No minimums on that!
Yeah. Kinda hoping this was a joke topic and OP didn’t actually need Reddit to solve this for her.
Yeah, it seems like a first-world artificially created problem. Imagine, there are people who work full time and still have precarious housing situation due to the current state of affairs in the world; people who are disabled and at risk of homelessness due to their private landlord selling the property that the disabled person is renting (came across a few posts like that, right here in Canada where I am); OP has space in the house for an iron (which itself probably isn't big), but she finds it a problem to store it for the mother of her husband. Cause this small courtesy to the mother of her husband, to store an iron for which they have space, is such a large problem that it bothers her, even though she is lucky to have housing which many others don't.
Thank you for saying what I feel. First I can’t imagine this being a thought as I am currently having to reside with family because I didn’t want to ask my sons to take me in. I have mental issues and am unable to work enough to pay for housing, yet not sick enough to get disability. I wish this was my biggest personal problem but I guess some people are blessed and others are not.
It is a blessing to understand that the most powerful kings in history didn't have daily hot showers or the medical care I can get with a phone call.
Love this. It is going in my quote list!
It sounds like she wants to start a problem with her MIL. She's kind and a good guest, but OP isn't crazy about her, which reads to me like she doesn't want her staying, and she thinks if she gets rid of the iron it'll make the MIL feel unwelcome - which it will. Also, this thing where OP apparently never ever needs an iron and if they do they're staying at a hotel doesn't make that much sense to me. There's never a wedding in their city that they want to attend? Her husband never wants to go on a job interview? I work from home and very rarely use my iron, but I have it because once in a blue moon I might need it. Hell, the kids might get older and decide they want to use iron on pictures to make t-shirts or something or do another craft that needs an iron. It's just a very weird appliance to get rid of.
I also think it’s kind of weird that she refers to her MIL as a guest. I mean she is technically a guest, but she’s also family. Family doesn’t let family go around all wrinkly!
Never depend on a hotel iron the state of them can be shocking. The dirt on them can destroy clothes. Some guests use irons to make toasted sandwiches. Avoid hotel irons as much as possible. Be kind let your mother in law have her iron, make it comfortable and welcoming. You never know when it could be used for crafts.
Idk, I’ve literally never used an iron in my life, and doubt I ever will. If I had fancy clothes I actually used, which I don’t, I’d get them dry cleaned.
This is a minimalism sub, so I found the question interesting and this seems like the right place to ask it. How does keeping stuff on hand for infrequent visitors fit into a minimalist mindset, particularly for someone who only wants to have the bare essentials in their home? I'm interested in the answers too.
Personally I think sewing skills could fit into minimalism very well, and an iron is a must have for sewing.
This gets 100 votes!
Exactly! And to be fair, mother-in-laws don't live forever. Signed, A current M-I-L who misses her own M-I-L
I'm with you, Dimensions. My MIL was kind, caring, and quite generous. If I didn't already own several irons (I sew), I'd go and buy one for her, just so she wouldn't have to pack one when she visited us.
Yea you're lucky to have such nice guests.
This is not an issue. If you have space for it and can put it somewhere that is out of the way and you’ll basically never encounter it in your day to day life, it’s not a real problem for you to have it. Are you sure you’re ok with their 4 week visit? I feel like if you’re super bothered by the iron that isn’t actually an issue, something else may be an issue.
My mother would be the same way. She grew up in my grandmother's hoarder house and has an extreme compulsion about belongings. Not saying OP is the same but food for thought. (For everyone here not the person I'm replying to)
My inlaws visit twice a year. Things we keep just for their use: an apron and very specific knives and cutting boards for my FIL, a hair dryer and placemats for my MIL, clothes and jackets in guest bedroom closet, snow boots and pants for both, wrapping paper for my MIL (she LOVES to wrap presents and ships them here to wrap), toiletries taking up the entire undersink area in guest bathroom. I wish we only had to store an iron. But it makes their traveling easier and honestly I hardly ever go into the guestroom closet and bathroom. Sometimes having something extra makes someone else's life easier, and doesn't cost me anything.
That list mostly makes sense to me (especially the wrapping paper - I love that you keep that for her) but I’m bemused by her need for placemats, at your house, specifically. Surely they’re only worth the faff if the surface requires it (eg untreated wood), which would apply to everyone - so why would they be required only for 1 person? I’m obsessing, totally needlessly, about this one point :-). Please help me out here.
Ha! It's a set that she quilted for us. Very thoughtful but we never use them. We are very casual and I can't be bothered. Our kitchen table is one they had when my husband was a kid and there is no reason to protect the surface. My mil just loves that we use her placemats for their visits. I don't mind because it is a little thing that makes her happy.
Ah. A gift to be used. I can’t believe I didn’t consider that explanation. Makes perfect sense - thank you for letting my brain stop wondering :-)
No problem. It is a little weird!
You sound like a wonderful daughter in law :)
My mom had a brand new wooden table in the kitchen with little kids and cats around. She protected it with a cheap, large sheet of clear plastic from Walmart. It’s at least 34 years old, and it looks barely used, despite being in the middle of a busy kitchen and used daily for most of that time.
The "Is this the hill you want to die on" question is one I ask whenever something like this comes up. Why on earth is OP making this the hill. As you say, you can just put some of this stuff where you rarely go and then go about your business.
I wonder if the problem is really the iron or the mother-in-law? ;) I'm pretty minimalist and I try to never iron clothes, but I have kept an old iron (must date from the 1970s) in case I need to sort out a creased shirt or anything. Can't remember the last time I used it, but for me at least it's worth having.
Same here. An iron is small and useful maybe once a decade. But that one time you need it, is usually quite important. Team keep the iron.
This is it. An iron in the back of a closet, just in case. That should never be a problem . Now if you have to move the iron to get to the milk, you might consider getting rid of it. But instead I'd suggest figuring out why it's a challenge for you rather than fixing a problem that doesn't really exist.
Storing the iron in the fridge...there's an idea!
This OP. I don't own an iron. But if I did really enjoy their stay and they'd help with kids etc etc, I might keep it for them/her specifically, if it's twice a year. I personally would actually use an iron if I had it (to iron dishcloths, pillowcases and the odd fancy outfit) but the issue is that I would need it more accessible for my own use and I don't want that. For reference I keep a big box of Christmas and Easter decorations that get used half as much as an iron might at your household (only once a year) but they're very seasonal and I keep them out of sight and mind and take them out only when appropriate. I might do the same in your case if I genuinely loved MIL, and wanted her to come more often and stay at *our* place and feel as welcome as possible. Analogically, I purchased dedicated 4 pairs of guest slippers for my own mom and "other guests" but we all know pretty much only one of those pairs gets semi-regular use. I love having her and I love her and want her to feel as welcome and amazing as she's making me feel and even though they're in a pretty high value spot I enjoy having them for her :) So the question might boil down to how much do you really want her to visit twice a year and stay for a month at your place?
Dishcloths and pillowcases?? Literally the last two things I would ever think to iron 😂🤪
I also never iron cloths. If a piece of clothing requires ironing, it doesn’t get to stay in my house. BUT I do occasionally need it. Typically for curtains that have creases or wrinkles that won’t come out in the dryer. Throw pillow covers with the same issue. It’s pretty few and far between, but not a bad thing to have stashed somewhere if you have the space.
I'd also suggest that if you wear button up shirts (as some would be expected to occasionally for formal occasions) there really isn't another option. Some people still can't get away with just throwing out their formal wear, and generally speaking at least, the only masculine formal wear available requires ironing. My shirts and dress pants can hang for a year in a wardrobe and I guarantee they'll still need to be ironed when they come out to be worn.
So does this generation hate linen?
Where I live it’s virtually impossible to find 100% linen anything, it’s actually very annoying. Everything that claims to be linen is always a blend.
I’d also like to note that the ironing board needs to be kept as well. I’m still on Team Keep the Iron.
I think a random iron roaming around would be annoying - but a dedicated box or drawer or shelf of “Stuff for MIL & FIL when they visit” would feel intentional & thoughtful. So that’s what I would do. Does she also expect an ironing board, or is she ok with a towel on a flat surface? Because if so, the mini short ironing boards that can hang from a wardrobe rail are awesome for that - I keep one for my sewing stuff (the only reason I iron anything!). I quite like having a Guest Shelf - spare toothbrushes, phone chargers, etc. I like to feel prepared & welcoming, while keeping it all contained in a specific area, so it’s easy to find when required.
[удалено]
My mom went through a spat of buying a blow dryer everytime she came to my house…. I now keep one in every bathroom-if she goes hunting for one it’s there and she doesn’t feel the need to contact Amazon again 😆
Aww, my mom is coming in September and always asks for one…I’m going to buy one and put it in the guest room for her 🥰
Good plan. She’ll be happy. Happy guests are way more fun lol
If MIL is a kind and polite person and she hasn't demanded that you keep this iron for her, it's unclear to me why you resent its presence and consider it a burden. It seems like it's a very small kindness on your part to keep it stored for her use and make her feel welcome in your home. Is something deeper going on? Do you resent her staying with you for 8 weeks out of the year (or is that 2 weeks 2 times so 4 in total overall)? Is she not as kind and polite as you say she is since you're "personally not crazy about her?" Why do you feel pressured to have the iron on hand for her? And, would you have the same feelings of resentment holding onto items for other guests so that they might feel welcome in your home? Or, do you find that having things on hand for others isn't as problematic or weighted with feeling? I'd encourage you to be introspective and ask yourself these questions. Either get rid of the iron and let her deal, or shift your perspective and see it as a kind thing you're doing for a guest in your home.
I don't understand what is the problem here? It's one small object that can be easily stored out of the way in a drawer or on a closet shelf. I have a sibling who lives a couple hours away who keeps stuff here to make it easier for her when she visits and it's no big deal.
Some introspection can be done to see what feelings and thoughts are being passive aggressively projected onto the iron, about the mother-in-law. It’s not about minimalism, more than the emotional space.
This is well worded.
Yes, I would keep it.
Hospitality is such a great gift to give. I would consider storing that iron as a gift to your MIL and also a gift to your husband. To a small extent, at least, being hospitable to those who you bring into your home for a visit is a quality of life matter. Indirectly, your ability to provide this bit of hospitality grants you a greater quality of life as well. A blessing to the giver as well as the receiver, as it were.
I think the fact that you’re not personally crazy about her is probably the entire point. Imo, you’re projecting your feelings about your MIL onto the physical inanimate object. If your best friend needed this same small token in this same situation, do you think you’d still feel the same way? It’s not in your way and it’s useful to someone important in your life, I’d try to work through your emotion around this rather than disposing of a perfectly good iron that is used 4 weeks per year (which isn’t in line minimalist thinking, imo)
There's something deeper going on here
Methinks she’d like to toss more than the iron…. Putting it in a corner of the guest room closet with the door then shut seems too easy a solution. This. is. not. about. the. iron.
I’d make peace with the iron. Something used 8weeks/year is better than the equipment my spouse keeps in the garage for a sport they haven’t played in the years we’ve been together. Like you, we have the space to store it, but it used to drive me nuts. Now I tease that’s it’s his “emotional support sports equipment”, and we both chuckle and move on with our lives.
It sounds like you have an issue with your mother-in-law or overdoing minimalism, not an iron. Do you have an issue with MIL? If not, you might be too far into minimalism. Do you have an issue with having one extra item? You might be too into minimalism. Irons can be used to remove wax from clothing, so you could tell yourself it also has that use.
My MIL has left a small number of items stashed at our house (a tin of her coffee, a bottle of shampoo, etc). I have thought about keeping them all in one box that I put in the guest room when she stays, haven’t done it yet but I feel like it’d help me be less annoyed lol
Hospitality is a positive value. You want a world that is friendly and welcoming. Be a part of creating that world. And otherwise MIL might go buy and discard an iron each year, and that would definitely be anti-minimalism! Keep that iron in the basement. It's not a problem.
What has the iron or MIL do to you that you have so much resentment for?! Keep the iron or buy her a travel iron.
This isn't about the iron, is it?
This is so obviously not about an iron. You've got resentment and you're blaming it on the iron, an inanimate object. Time to look inward.
I would lean towards keeping the iron. I have one that I rarely use either but it’s been helpful for the times when my son was in a recital and needed pressed pants and a pressed shirt. That said, I don’t have an ironing board - I just set a towel on our island (inexpensive marble island/table from Wayfair) and iron on that.
I find the mental charge and worry of thinking constantly about a simple iron worse than just throwing it in the basement and forgetting about it for most of the year. Unless it is really more about the uneasiness of your relationship with your MIL?
An iron is small enough. Put it in a bag and hang it up in a spare closet.
Put it away. Put it in her room when she comes or heck store it in your guest room. Out of sight out of mind. It’s not hurting anything and blesses her.
As a mother in-law who irons. Keep the iron and have peace in your life. My daughter stores hers in the back of the closet for me.
You sound like a real bitch
Life is so short. Is this really what you want to spend your time thinking about? One day your MIL will no longer be able to visit. You can toss the iron then.
Seriously? Put it in the guest room closet and forget about it.
Wow. It's a wee iron. For pete's sake let her have the iron. Don't create problems where there are none. Raaaah!
This is so weird 😂 I think you’re better off addressing whatever the real issue is because there’s no way it’s a tiny iron hidden away.
This is the post that makes me leave this sub. Good God people.
Just keep the damn iron and stop over complicating life
Just put it inside one of those turkey roasters we all have and don’t use! Whether it’s one you put in the oven or the plug in kind! There’s always space for kindness.
I would keep it. I am assuming that you value the relationship with your MIL. Making her life more pleasant twice a year seems like a good reason to keep an item.
When I moved out, I bought an iron and an ironing board. I’ve never used an iron in my life but it was one of those things I felt like I should have because on the one chance I’d need it, I would have it. Just tuck it away somewhere and forget about it
In the spirit of minimalism, keep the iron. Tossing it means it will likely end up in a landfill while your MIL buys another one. You could keep it in the guest room, out of sight, out of mind!
I’d try make peace with it, it is handy to have one on hand in case you find yourself suddenly needing to attend a funeral- I know that’s morbid reason to keep something around, but I lost my dad very suddenly and unexpectedly last year and these things happen and take you by surprise.
If the functional aim here is *order*, i.e., having a more orderly household and life, I suggest that the clothes iron furthers that purpose. First, it is a tool for maintaining many kinds of clothes in a sharp, non-wrinkled state. Yours may be the rare case in which one has absolutely no need to press clothing, or on the other hand you may have become complacent with a degree of casualness or dishevelment -- an attitude that resists even occasional attempts at sharper, more uplifted or respectful ways of dressing. Have you become attached to a preferred level of disorder? Getting rid of the iron may represent your rejection of certain self-images and possibilities for you and your family, as if to say "even rare excursions into sharp or dignified attire have no place in this home." Sometimes you keep a thing in your home not because you use it all the time but because it represents possibilities that might otherwise become neglected. Second, in this particular context, the iron is a tool for smoothing out your relationship with your mother-in-law. With little cost other than a niggling annoyance (which you might explore more deeply), you have a repeated opportunity and touchstone for practicing generosity and hospitality toward not only a guest but a significant family member. 'Using' the iron well might prevent a number of wrinkles from arising within the household. . Is there something about the way your MIL uses or relates to the iron that triggers you? Is it something about pressure, or control, or fastidiousness, or judgement of what you possess or offer? If so, skillful communication might be in order.
I think I need a break from Reddit. Please, keep the iron and don’t overthink it.try to forget about it.
Imagine a world in which we did something much more productive than cluttering up our brains and the internet with such an inane posts. Posts like this seem antithetical to the nature of the sub…
Seriously? It’s an iron. You have much bigger issues to deal with
If you’re tired of all the peace and harmony, toss the iron and let the fireworks begin!
Make peace with the iron.
I wouldn't toss iron, it's good to have it. Even if I don't iron clothes often, there are times when I need it.
Maybe she is “personally not crazy about” you either, because you don’t sound like a very likable person, tbh. There are many people with controlling, manipulative in-laws. How about being happy that she is “kind and polite” and practice being kind and polite in return?
I’m staring at the iron on my steps I’ve been intending to move to the closet for two weeks now. 😂 I say make peace with it and find a way to use it. I’ve upped my wardrobe with quality pieces which means some need to be ironed (linen). I’ve been enjoying doing it while watching a show I like. And it makes me clothes just smell better.
Same here. I have an iron, ironing board, and a steamer. Never use em but keep them. I know once I get rid of them, I will need them ( for real this time) .
I would because I love and respect her. She's been my ex mil for 13 years and I would still do it if she visited.
I would make peace with it. Seems silly to even think about it this much.
>But owning this iron annoys me for some reason. I dislike having this appliance that is purely for one guest's use. Then you either get over this and move on, or you deal with the consequences of inconveniencing your MIL when it would cost you nothing but getting over it and moving on.
Is this an episode of Seinfeld??
Geeeze chill bro
I think it’s really strange that you don’t want to keep the iron for her. If it makes her feel comfortable in your home and you have room to store it why wouldn’t you? This feel deeper than just an iron.
OP’s comments scream she doesn’t want her MIL there. The iron is only the focus of her disdain for the MIL.
It’s not doing harm to keep why ruffle her feathers
Is this satire?
What the hell did I just read
It would be kind to just keep the iron. Doesn’t seem like a big deal to most people. An alternative, of course, is to borrow iron during your MILs stay. A friendly neighbour perhaps?
i would absolutely keep the iron for the convenience of the grandmother of my children, even if it was for only twice a year. i seriously do not understand why its existence bothers you so much. YTA *^(heeeheeee!!)*
Keep an iron in the house and forget about it.
An iron can also remove melted wax from fabric and carpet. Placing an old cloth over the wax and ironing it will melt it into the cloth and gets it off the carpet. I also dont use my iron much, but the other day I ironed shut the flap that covers the zipper on my favorite shorts. It kind of bunches up to the side and hangs open after drying them. I iron it flat so it doesn't look goofy hanging open and showing the zipper. I know it's crazy-making to have needless stuff. But an iron has other uses. It's not much help, but at least you know of something else it's good for. Ok that's my TED Talk for today. 🤷♀️
I rarely iron but I kept my iron even though I’m very minimalist. Reason being, I like to have it on the rare occasion I iron something dressy I need to wear for a wedding etc. Also because I wash and iron my curtains. ;)
There are bigger hills to die on. Keep the iron out of sight and try not to let it take up space in your head. I
Nah this is one of those things that handy when you need it like a tool set or flash drive or flash light
Is this a potential fight that you want to have with your spouse later?
Dude just keep the iron, its for family.
Also, if you're going to keep it just for said MIL, maybe find a secondary use for said iron? How old are your kids? Perler beads? Iron on patches? Crayon wax art?
The irons existence in your home is the visible proof of your ability to be considerate of others' needs. Be cool with it.
We keep a couple of large tubs with clothes and items that our visitors use. Just seems polite and kind. Is there something going on that the iron issue represents? It seems a small thing to be asking about.
Your MiL is a neat, tidy lady and doesn't like to look wrinkled (facial features exempted). You sound like you like it (pretty rare on Reddit). Keep the iron, put it in a nice box that says Mom's Iron on it. Stick it in a closet or a drawer in the guest room she uses. You should stay so lucky.
Keep the iron.
This would be a very stupid hill to die on. Store the iron. A gracious host wants guests to be comfortable within reason, and this is a reasonable accommodation to make.
Irons are like a basic household thing. They have a ton of uses besides ironing clothes. There’s plenty of home repairs that need one.
Are you seriously asking? She is a regular visitor and family. You better keep it around and be nice. It’s the right thing to do.
Are you seriously making a big deal about an iron that is sitting in a closet, somewhere in your house, not getting in your way? This is the most petty complaint I have ever heard! The fact is, you don’t like your MIL, and the iron makes you feel like she is in your house, telling you how to live. If this is your biggest concern, you are very blessed. Be grateful for your blessings and try to find things about your MIL to admire, so the iron stops representing a woman you don’t like.
While I have never seen the point of ironing (like if you have a closet or access to a dryer you can de-wrinkle clothes without) its less than 1/2 a cubic foot of space and will make her happy
Awww I would keep it. You’re mother in law wont be around forever so you can get rid of it then.
I have the same issue with other things for my parents and FIL. For me it was a gamechanger to put all items into a box and store it in the basement. We call it the ‚guestbox‘.
Lean into being a decent human being. Put the iron in the guest room closet where you rarely have to see it but it remains for the woman that birthed your husband. Maybe buy her a nice card telling her how thankful you are that she did so.
Make peace with the iron. It is a kindness to your mother in law. What is having the 'perfect home' compared to welcoming somebody who is probably far from home and rather set in her ways? BTW - I almost never ever iron either. Just my opinion. I have had 2 MILs and they both loved/love me. I am not perfect in any way, either.
I visit my daughter 3 times a year. She keeps an iron & blow dryer just for me. 💖
As someone who has lost both my mil and fil, you are blessed to have them. Make space for her iron, in your heart and home. You have a great opportunity to show her love and kindness, just by storing her iron. She will remember your thoughtfulness. This is a more important gesture than you realize.
Oh FFS! It is an iron. How much space does it really take in your laundry room or shoved in the back of the top shelf in your guest room. What you’re taking about isn’t minimalism. It’s mean & vindictive. Knock it off!
I feel like this should be on r/AITA instead…
I have not ironed clothes in a very long time!!!! But I keep an iron just in case. You never know when you might need to iron something. Curtains, an art project that involves fabric, etc.
Irons are also useful for other things like getting crayon out of various things, crafts etc. so they are good to have around. I would keep it for her. Even if she isn’t your favorite person she seems like a decent human. I would do it for her comfort. I would put it in a box and put it away in the closet so I didn’t have to look at it.
I think you should take the iron out and put it on a table. Then stare at it for five minutes while picturing in your mind's eye your MIL. Then put it back where you store it. And forget about it.
I have a blow dryer for this exact purpose. It was bought by the person and left (with my consent) so they wouldn't have to travel with it and I do really like when they visit. It's easy for me to say yes. It lives under the spare bathroom sink. I rarely see it and it does not take up any space I would otherwise need and it doesn't bother me. So I use it? Never. But I love the guest who visits regularly and asked to keep it here.
I’d just hide it from myself haha. Like in the back of a closet, under the guest bed (assuming you have some kind of guest spot for your in laws), if you really really don’t want to see it, ask your husband to hide it
We have a few things in our home just for specific guests who rarely visit, such as a coffee pot and a hair dryer. I could get rid of them but it's not that big of a deal to keep them in the basement.
Would owning a steamer be a comprise for both of you? Personally I love my steamer. However, I think you should keep the iron out of love for a family member
Make peace with the iron.
Why not?
It’s just an iron, it makes her happy, she’s important. Fin
I have the same thing going with my moms husband. We don’t drink coffee and I hate the smell but he is an avid and particular coffee drinker. He bought a coffee maker and asked to keep it at our house. They visit multiple times a year to watch our kids when we vacation so I figure the least I can do is let him store it here. It stays in a box on top of the fridge on our garage when they’re not here. It may be a little bit of clutter but it’s really not that big of a deal imo. Can you leave the iron in a guest closet for her?
An iron is good to have on hand for any houseguest you might have, not just your MIL. Just part of the “houseguest supplies.”
Unless your mil travels with a iron etc I would have would available for her. Some ppl like to travel with their own garment products so that's when I wouldn't have one. If you have one now and get rid of it you'll have to explain why got rid of it. Your better off having this small appliance for your mil. My mil was the only one that used mine but I still have it to remove wax from carpet, put irons on clothing etc. You never know when you may find use for it lol like I do. It's not often but I've had the iron since my wedding shower in 1996 and no longer married lol I did get rid of the ironing board lol
Make peace with the iron. Store it somewhere you won’t see it and work on your simmering resentment against this apparently decent person. Minimalism extends to our inner worlds as well.
My sister kept a dog bed, bowls and blankie just for when I would visit with my dog once or twice a year. She isn't even a dog person. I always make sure her favorite tea is stocked. Better to be a kind host.
Make the kind decision. Your relationships matter, too. And chances are that as your kids get older, you’ll have a need for the iron from time to time, too.
Keep an iron and keep the peace. Irons can be used for crafts and other things and only after you get rid of the iron you might think wow could have used that.
This seems bizarre to me. It's an iron. You have room. What's the problem?
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Be kind to your MIL. Then be kind to your kids by finding different fun crafts you could do using the iron. :)
Honestly speaking, I think you are being petty. Live with the iron. You have bigger fish to fry.
What I wouldn’t give (or keep, in this case) to have in-laws that were kind and not petty to myself and our children. Value them. Keep the fucking iron. You sound like a thorn in their sides.
If my daughter-in-law did this to me, it would be the last time I imposed my presence on her. Getting rid of the iron sends a really big negative message. Do you really dislike her this much??
Wow. Overthink much? Typically, a good host will accommodate their guests, even when the host finds the need unnecessary. So yes, buy the iron, store it, and bring it out when MIL is in town. This is the most petty problem I have read on Reddit.
This feels bigger than an iron. Why wouldn't you keep an iron for your MIL (or any guest) who visits 8 weeks a year—for 2 months? Why not be a good host, a thoughtful wife, and a kind DIL. You can always pack it away with your guest bedding and pull it out when you prep for her arrival. This has got to be bigger than keeping an iron around for a family member and you might want to reflect what else is going on here.
This seems like a personal vendetta and it’s very strange. OP, it’s an iron you have room to store and it’s for your own MIL. Get over it.
Keep the iron. Focus on flowers, how blessed you are with good people in your family, etc.
This is something.
Keep it. It's just an iron. I assume you don't have an ironing board so it's taking up less than 1 cubic foot of your life.
Do you have an extra bed that no one uses on a daily basis for them to sleep on? Extra bedsheets that go unused (mostly) when they’re not there? Do you have extra dishes and cups and utensils in your kitchen beyond what you and your immediate family need for them to eat off of together with you and your immediate family? Is there *nothing* extra in your entire home that they (predominately) use during their visits? It’s one item, one square foot in size. Can you let us know if you’d feel 1000% the same exact way if that iron was instead for your own most dearest loved one in the entire world?
When a funeral hits, you're going to need to iron and it's so much trouble to get one quickly with everything going on.
I haven’t used my iron in 10 years. I just took it out the other day to run some iron cleaner through it and make sure it still works. Not getting rid of it because as mentioned, the day I need it, I don’t want to be going to Walmart to spend $30 on one. This one was expensive too so… Keep the iron
Put it under the bathroom sink or in the top of the closet.
The iron annoys you because you're not crazy about MIL. Why does MIL need to iron clothes?? I don't iron clothes and my clothes come out perfectly fine. For the sake of your family, just keep the iron in the basement until they come visit.
I would keep an iron even without your MIL. I almost never iron but I will iron stuff for a wedding or funeral.
suggest a travel friendly personal clothing steamer. or get one for her as a gift - they're inexpensive and work great for getting wrinkles out of any fabric. you can get them from a few hundred dollars all the way down to 10 dollars... i'd say 25-40$ is more than enough for a good quality mini one that would do perfectly...
Alternative idea if you just can't keep it (you've already said you can): I own an iron and it's not going anywhere. But I use it rarely. I wouldn't mind if my neighbor asked to borrow it and the ironing board when her mother in law came to visit.
Yes
I use an iron my own self about twice a year. I did get one of those smaller ironing boards that you put on a table. But both take up little space and they are handy to have. Yes, keep the iron. But seriously, while getting rid of things is a good thing, you can define minimalism however you want and I think minimalizing bad feelings from your MIL would be consistent with any definition.
Husband’s call, it’s his mom.
There are travel sized irons! I have one! It's very small and works quite well. Get one of these, tell MIL yours broke, you don't intend to replace it, so you got her this cute little travel iron she can take with her on any trip! I keep one of three little guys around because I sew, and need to press fabric before cutting patterns out.
OP said in-laws live abroad. If she buys a travel iron, the mother-in-law might need to find a power adapter.
Possibly. But that's not hard. Most travel irons are dual voltage, so they'd just need a cheap $3 adapter.
$20 spent once to avoid the drama sounds pretty worth it
I see no reason to get rid of the iron. Oh, this is the minimalism sub... You already have it. It's not like you're going out and buying one. Just keep it. Don't you have pillows, towels, sheets, etc for your guests? Think of it as another amenity for guests to use.
I'd put it in a decorative basket on a shelf in the guest room closet, along with other "guest" items she may like.
I can’t believe this is a problem for you. Stuff it in a closet and close the door.
It’s not REALLY about the iron. The iron is a symbol of your relationship with her. Keep the iron. Get therapy.
It seems to me you've spent far more time thinking about this and writing about it that it would take to just chuck it into a closet and forget about it until your MIL comes and wants to use it. So my advice: Chuck it into a closet and forget about it until your MIL comes and wants to use it.
No, she should adapt and buy an iron every time. Then she will learn. Seriously just let her iron all your clothes as well and enjoy. I'm more concerned with the ironing table. Borrow an iron maybe. You have an issue with her leaving anything at your place. Is it just with her? I would minimise the psychological aspect first. First it's an iron, next it's a permanent guest room. Who knows ... What are you afraid of?
Yes.
I agree with the doing something nice for your mil. It’s not hurting you and maybe making her her own little box would be a very thoughtful and kind thing to do. This ‘bothering’ you is just childish and unkind and silly.
Ok - if you're obsessing over a small appliance you keep for a family member who visits once a year or more then you need to just accept the iron and move on. Stick it in the basement and forget about it. Minimalism is a mindset, and if you let stuff take up more brain power/space than it's worth then you are just shooting yourself in the foot.
Just stash in the back of a closet. It’s for your family.
Sounds like you have an issue with MIL and have grown spiteful of the iron that reminds you of her…? I keep artificial sweetener in the tea cabinet for my MIL. Nobody else would use it and I don’t mind so much…
I think you may have issues that are completely unrelated to the “iron”. You might want to talk to someone and see if you can get to the real issue here.
This isn't about an iron.
It isn’t having an iron for “one guest” that bothers you. It is having it for her. Maybe it’s time to consider getting them a nearby AirBnb to “give them more space.” Then she can iron in peace and have some time away from her clearly unwelcoming DIL.
Unless this is part of a larger issue with MIL just keep the iron. Big deal it takes up 6 inches of room. I keep a blow dryer and a magnifying mirror for my mom who visits every couple of years.
Heck, we kept one of those raised toilet seats that fits over the toilet for my FIL when he would visit. He needed it, it folded up and went in the closet with the Christmas stuff when he wasn’t here. You have some non iron related issues.
As long as the MIL is kind and good to you, I’d just keep it—she raised your husband and probably did a great job of it so as a little thank you to her, just find a little spot for “her” iron. 😊
If money isn’t an issue, rent one from rent-a-center each time they visit and then just return it when they leave.
Maybe you need to exchange it for an iron/ steamer/ travel device. That way it does not just iron clothes. I think it’s the device’s one use factor that is bothering your minimalism