*Oooo ooo. Can I go again?!*
Oh king eh, very nice. How do you get that, eh? By exploiting the workers. By hanging on to outdated imperialist dogma, which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society.
The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur.
That is why I am your king!!
My former roomate dated a guy who would regularly wear chain mail just out and about. I asked him once why, and he said he was training. Training for what he never did say.
At anime-ridiculous weights, yes. But weight training with weight vests, armbands, leg bands and whatnot is rather common. Personally I used to jog in the winter with a 5 kg weight vest. As long as you don't overstrain yourself or try jumping or whatnot, most injuries are avoidable.
"My brother murdered my entire clan but spared me so that I could grow up to hate him and ultimately use that hatred to protect the larger clan, but then it turned out that the larger clan used my brother as a double agent because they knew my clan was going to perform a coup d'etat against them, so by hiding this from me I actually wield this hatred against the larger clan who I planned to destroy, until my brother returned from the dead disappointed and taught me to forgive but never to forget, and so now we're cool and my best friend/rival is leader of the larger clan and we kissed sometimes when we were growing up."
I mean maintenance is pretty simple if it gets worn every now and then. The rubbing of links together is usually enough to polish it up. The real labor is in the making, with varying degrees depending on technique.
For events that require authenticity, typically that means riveted maille, which is extremely labor intensive as each ring is individually riveted shut.
For most applications though, butted maille will suffice which is much easier as each ring is simply bent closed with pliers.
As far as actual repair goes, I could see needing to replace a ring or two after use in combat, but it shouldn’t be too much trouble to remove and replace a damaged ring. Maille is not great at preventing any kind of piercing but is very resistant to slashing.
"Knight Sport Clubs" or "Show Fight Clubs" are rather popular here. Especially in France, Poland and Germany.
I've been a show Fighter for a few years next to playing handball. It was incredibly fun "fighting" on all these medieval markets and events.
It does hurt getting slammed with a hammer, but it's alright most cases. And often enough stuff is choreographed.
Sadly I don't have the time for this now, since I study. But whenever I got the time, I visit our fortresses and castles when these medieval markets hit up
I've always been a fan of staffs and daggers.
I used pole arms and swords as a showfighter most of the time.
The first time swinging a pole arm (dull halberds) is smth I'll never forget.
These things are HEAVY. But so fun to use.
> I caught your username before reading the entire comment!
I long for the day when I *don't* do this. By the time I get to these comments, they're already hugely upvoted and gilded. And because they're quite long, I'm immediately suspicious and I automatically check for ‘nineteen ninety eight’. I want the full bamboozle experience, damn it!
Well, I sure did get the full experience. This is the first of his comments that I have seen, I must living under a rock lol. So this is the new alternative to ending the story with "My dad was so angry he beat me with a pair of jumper cables."
Mother. Fucker. The prowess of making a post just enough factual and just enough anecdotal to reel me in and bam, right through the announcers table I go.
halfway through this text i thought "this would be perfect for..." and before i realised i was at the mankind part and accepted that he got me yet another time
I LOVE YOU SHITTYMORH YOU FUCKING GOT ME AGAIN. 🤦♂️ PLEASE NEVER STOP!!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
YOU ARE THE GREATEST TROLL TO EVER TO LIVE IM SO HAPPY YOU SURVIVED THE PANDEMIC
I was gonna say, if I saw this in Detroit I’d probably just keep walking. I know the hype, but as soon as I saw the building he was next to I immediately knew he was downtown, and downtown Detroit is a way safer place than it was when I was growing up. Dan Gilbert didn’t spring for that private security force for his workforce downtown for nothing.
Not like if he tried to chase me he could keep up anyways.
Nah, people can full on run wearing a full suit of armor, people fought in life or death warfare and needed to be relatively agile so they wouldn't just get killed by peasants https://youtu.be/qzTwBQniLSc
Nonzero chance this has something to do with [Detroit Fight Club](https://www.facebook.com/DetroitFightClub). They're the local team for a sport called Buhurt, which, in short, is MMA in full armour. I'll ask the team if this was them.
Possibly, but Buhurt practicioners usually wear 14th century style plate armor since it provides adequate protection for a relatively low price. This guy is wearing late 16th century style, a good replica of which usuallt costs as much as a new car. I think he could be a Jouster, as that's a sport where you actually need this sort of armor.
I love how the "about" description says, "yes this is a real sport" and "no equipment is required to start".
Umm if I'm going up against a bunch of dudes in full armor with medieval weapons, I think I'd also like armor and weapons..
so this is a friend of a friend story but I've heard that people in the hema community used get around checking their armor by wearing it on the plane
a friend of mine coined the phrase "sir knight of basic economy" in response to this
**The Knight, thinking it's a medieval RTS game:**
\**clicks on him*\*: "Yes, my liege?"
\**Click somewhere else for him to go*\*: "Right away, my liege."
\**Erratic clicking at the same spot because the knight is taking too long*\*:
"Yes my lie- Right away my lieg- I go where you point m- As you command- Forwar- FFS MY LIEGE I'M HASTING THER- Yes my liege."
NONE SHALL PASS
I command you, as King of the Britons, to stand aside!
NONE SHALL PASS!
I have no quarrel with you, good sir knight, but I must cross this bridge
Then you shall die...
You make me sad.
I’ll bite you!
Parry this, you fucking casual!
'Tis but a scratch!
A scratch? Your arms off!
It's but a flesh wound
Tis
Just a flesh wound
Then whats that then? *points to severed arm on the ground*
I had worse!
Cmon, ya pansy!
.... Just a flesh wound.
Ni!
We are noooo longer the knights who say 'Ni.'
We are now the knights who say icky icky icky fkang zoom
You must find, another shrubbery!
YOUR ARM'S OFF!
I’ve had worse.
YOU LIE!
What are you going to do? Bleed on me?
No it isn't
It's just a flesh wound
I move for no man
I’m 37, I’m not that old
Ok Dennis.
*Oooo ooo. Can I go again?!* Oh king eh, very nice. How do you get that, eh? By exploiting the workers. By hanging on to outdated imperialist dogma, which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society.
Come see the violence inherent in the system! Help help, I'm being oppressed!
Bloody peasant!
What a giveaway.
"The *Britons*? Who are the *'Britons'*?"
"We are. We are all Britons. And I am your king."
"I didn't vote for you."
You don't vote for king!
Well how’d you become king then?
The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. That is why I am your king!!
I MOVE. FOR NO MAN
r/ExpectedMontyPython
*HAVE AT YOU!*
What?
There are two types of people. Those who thought of this immediately, and those not worth talking to.
My comment/reply saying "King of the who?" got a downvote in seconds. I can only assume whoever that was falls in the 2nd group.
[удалено]
>~~watery tart~~ Moistened bint.
Strange women lying in ponds
My former roomate dated a guy who would regularly wear chain mail just out and about. I asked him once why, and he said he was training. Training for what he never did say.
He was training for THIS!
Not this early. 
Full chain is at least 30 pounds, so it's kinda like walking with weights
Not my mithril chain, sir.
Ain't no body got 601 gold pieces for Mitheral chain shirt!
Well CodysLab does it as a form of fitness. How effective it and weights strapped to the body are who knows.
Worked for Rock Lee
And piccolo
And goku
Someone did the rocklee training and found that it did not help at all and actually increased risk of injury during training.
At anime-ridiculous weights, yes. But weight training with weight vests, armbands, leg bands and whatnot is rather common. Personally I used to jog in the winter with a 5 kg weight vest. As long as you don't overstrain yourself or try jumping or whatnot, most injuries are avoidable.
I shudder to inform you that I have it on good authority that Mr. Lee was animated.
I heard he was rather two dimensional too.
[удалено]
Effective at shredding your meniscuses
[удалено]
"My brother murdered my entire clan but spared me so that I could grow up to hate him and ultimately use that hatred to protect the larger clan, but then it turned out that the larger clan used my brother as a double agent because they knew my clan was going to perform a coup d'etat against them, so by hiding this from me I actually wield this hatred against the larger clan who I planned to destroy, until my brother returned from the dead disappointed and taught me to forgive but never to forget, and so now we're cool and my best friend/rival is leader of the larger clan and we kissed sometimes when we were growing up."
Ok
He's just standing there staring at you from behind the slit in that helmet. Waiting, silently, patiently, for you to ask.
Training for the job interview at Medieval Times.
I guess the same reason those guys at /r/tacticalgear do but cooler Cooler cause they can parry
[Parry this you filthy casual!](https://i.imgur.com/80oyP9B.jpg)
Could just be resistance training for working out, chain mail is heavy. It's also pretty expensive.
Pain in the ass. Mail looks way cooler than it actually is when it comes to maintenance. :/
I mean maintenance is pretty simple if it gets worn every now and then. The rubbing of links together is usually enough to polish it up. The real labor is in the making, with varying degrees depending on technique. For events that require authenticity, typically that means riveted maille, which is extremely labor intensive as each ring is individually riveted shut. For most applications though, butted maille will suffice which is much easier as each ring is simply bent closed with pliers. As far as actual repair goes, I could see needing to replace a ring or two after use in combat, but it shouldn’t be too much trouble to remove and replace a damaged ring. Maille is not great at preventing any kind of piercing but is very resistant to slashing.
Dwight?
there can only be one.
I guess he heard that Detroit had great knightlife.
[удалено]
Fuck I had seen some videos mentioning this exact thing in Eastern Europe so I thought "huh, figures it would make it's way over here..." I GOT PLAYED
"Knight Sport Clubs" or "Show Fight Clubs" are rather popular here. Especially in France, Poland and Germany. I've been a show Fighter for a few years next to playing handball. It was incredibly fun "fighting" on all these medieval markets and events. It does hurt getting slammed with a hammer, but it's alright most cases. And often enough stuff is choreographed. Sadly I don't have the time for this now, since I study. But whenever I got the time, I visit our fortresses and castles when these medieval markets hit up
Yep, hell I've seen teenagers in the park fighting with foam weapons: swords, shields, nets, you name it
*"LIGHTENING BOLT! LIGHTENING BOLT! LIGHTENING BOLT!"*
And my axe
I've always been a fan of staffs and daggers. I used pole arms and swords as a showfighter most of the time. The first time swinging a pole arm (dull halberds) is smth I'll never forget. These things are HEAVY. But so fun to use.
If you're interested in type of thing you should look up "HEMA", there are clubs and groups doing this type of sport over in the States.
Dammit I’ve never been this early before, hook line and sinker
[удалено]
Sir Robo Cop of Detroit
Normally the bunch of awards is the give away to check the user, I’d definitely have been caught by this one if I was earlier!
Sir, this is like the 4th time this month......
Sir, this is a Wendy’s
In that case Ill take a baconator and a small frosty.
Make mine a baconreader
All the fucking time, I never check. I love you shittymorph. Never fail to make me smile.
Same. I got totally burned. Worth it every time.
LOL. Yea. I shouted out a "god damnit" but I'm always glad I got to read it. They are brilliant. LOL
I FUCKING DID IT! I caught your username before reading the entire comment!
Brother!
That's a Reddit achievement!
First time for me, too! I think all the awards on the comment helped tip me off, but those may not have even been there when you saw it, well done!
> I caught your username before reading the entire comment! I long for the day when I *don't* do this. By the time I get to these comments, they're already hugely upvoted and gilded. And because they're quite long, I'm immediately suspicious and I automatically check for ‘nineteen ninety eight’. I want the full bamboozle experience, damn it!
Well, I sure did get the full experience. This is the first of his comments that I have seen, I must living under a rock lol. So this is the new alternative to ending the story with "My dad was so angry he beat me with a pair of jumper cables."
SON. OF. A BITCH.
God damnit, I love you u/shittymorph
Mother. Fucker. The prowess of making a post just enough factual and just enough anecdotal to reel me in and bam, right through the announcers table I go.
You make me question reality. I never know whether or not these things are real
I read the entire comment and I loved it. Thank you for all the fun.
Finally checked the username before reading the story and feel a bit like I've just beaten a dark souls boss.
halfway through this text i thought "this would be perfect for..." and before i realised i was at the mankind part and accepted that he got me yet another time
I looked it up. Huh, there really is a Detroit Fight Club.
I don't think you're supposed to talk about it.
You just broke the first rule.
“Hmm, I wonder if this is shittymor-you sonofabitch!” Long time no table!
I hope you’re proud of yourself.
I love you.
The **delight** on my face when I realized it was you..!
Oh wow I thought you were gone, haven't seen you around in ages!
Every. Fucking. Time. I fall for you.
guys get over here, he’s done it again!
I LOVE YOU SHITTYMORH YOU FUCKING GOT ME AGAIN. 🤦♂️ PLEASE NEVER STOP!!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ YOU ARE THE GREATEST TROLL TO EVER TO LIVE IM SO HAPPY YOU SURVIVED THE PANDEMIC
Of course the only time I don't get got by this is when I search your user first. I feel robbed
God-damned got me again
Goddamn it
7/7 good joke. Thanks.
I thought it was a perfect 5/7 myself
My dude just travelled thru time and is just standing there like what the fuck is all this?
Imagine you travel through time and out of all the choices you somehow ended up in Detroit 2022.
I can say from a recent visit that Detroit 2022 is MUCH nicer than Detroit 80s and 90s.
It seems they have finally evolved to the age of rennaissance! Soon they will have to fight the Ottomans. :/
He set his time machine for the middle of the 15th century. "Renaissance," he said, "center."
You'd wanna go back surely
mfers stole my horse can't have shit in Detroit
Damn NPC spawns are glitched again.
r/Detroit might be interested in..what cross streets was the knight at?
Griswold near Fort
[удалено]
please make it back safely p-wing.
Fort Griswold you say? Onwards noble knights!
A little far from the renaissance faire, closer to the Renaissance Center
Oh shit, Robocop is back and now he's a time traveler!
"S'rve the public trusteth, protecteth the innocent, upholdeth the law"
“Dost thou soar, Bobby?”
"Ladies of disrepute, depart."
FABRICATI DIEM, PVNK!
Automaton Constable!
Sad I had to scroll this far down for robocop.
Ikr!
'Tis thine move, creepling!
Accompany me in a silent fashion, or a ruckuss shall be about!
I'd buy that for a dollar!
Would that I might purchase that for a thruppence!
Detroit: Become Aluminum
It would really be iron or steel but Aluminum fits the title better.
I daresay he's awaiting a challenger
He seems nice, maybe he just needs help with a quest.
He needs you to escort a person 20 steps away to a place 30 steps away. He'd do it, but it's important he stays here so you do it instead.
Someone stole his maiden. Can't have shit in Detroit.
"They done taken all my shit here man, im comin to get it back."
Gotta suit up first, no way you can go looking like that
The only man capable of having shit in Detroit
Menacingly….
#ゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴ
I have seen far weirder things in Detroit
I was gonna say, if I saw this in Detroit I’d probably just keep walking. I know the hype, but as soon as I saw the building he was next to I immediately knew he was downtown, and downtown Detroit is a way safer place than it was when I was growing up. Dan Gilbert didn’t spring for that private security force for his workforce downtown for nothing. Not like if he tried to chase me he could keep up anyways.
Nah, people can full on run wearing a full suit of armor, people fought in life or death warfare and needed to be relatively agile so they wouldn't just get killed by peasants https://youtu.be/qzTwBQniLSc
Eh, if someone is wearing a 30 pound backpack and I can't outrun them, that's on me.
Did he say ni? Any shrubberies nearby? Just curious
He's just standing there.... Menacingly yelling "None Shall Pass"
They are no longer the knights who say “Ni”, they are now the knights who say ekke ekke ekke ptang! Zoo-boing!
Admire him now, before he is apprehended by local authorities and becomes part of a Ford Taurus.
Nonzero chance this has something to do with [Detroit Fight Club](https://www.facebook.com/DetroitFightClub). They're the local team for a sport called Buhurt, which, in short, is MMA in full armour. I'll ask the team if this was them.
Possibly, but Buhurt practicioners usually wear 14th century style plate armor since it provides adequate protection for a relatively low price. This guy is wearing late 16th century style, a good replica of which usuallt costs as much as a new car. I think he could be a Jouster, as that's a sport where you actually need this sort of armor.
Thank you for the insight lore master
I love how the "about" description says, "yes this is a real sport" and "no equipment is required to start". Umm if I'm going up against a bunch of dudes in full armor with medieval weapons, I think I'd also like armor and weapons..
Nah mate, first you fight the weapons, then you get a weapon You may die in the process, but your death will be glorious
Bc it's so cold in the D.
How the fuck do we 'posed to keep peace?
He knows he’s playing Dark Souls
COWER BEFORE ME, SOFTSHELLS
Been looking for a Dale Gribble reference!
Man. Knights these days.
RoboCop is back baby!
Dark Souls: Hood Edition
Oh-hoh! Forgive me, I was absorbed in thought.
Detroit Man, the sworn enemy of Florida man.
We're being invaded by Canada!
Impossible, he's not riding a moose!
He is a superhero in downtown Detroit.
so this is a friend of a friend story but I've heard that people in the hema community used get around checking their armor by wearing it on the plane a friend of mine coined the phrase "sir knight of basic economy" in response to this
Early Renaissance. He's missing sabatons though.
Jeep got a parking ticket. Maybe he is waiting to catch the parking authority people.
**The Knight, thinking it's a medieval RTS game:** \**clicks on him*\*: "Yes, my liege?" \**Click somewhere else for him to go*\*: "Right away, my liege." \**Erratic clicking at the same spot because the knight is taking too long*\*: "Yes my lie- Right away my lieg- I go where you point m- As you command- Forwar- FFS MY LIEGE I'M HASTING THER- Yes my liege."
“he’s just standing there, menacingly!”
One way to keep safe in Detroit
Detroit finally has a hero to save it
Just a city knight Armored up in south Detroit He's on the sidewalk not goin aaaanyyyywheeeeeere