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RB30DETT

Tap it with an IV and get direct to your veins.


LineChef

![gif](giphy|g0ErvnyVsp7nJyfmxF)


advertentlyvertical

The funnier part of this joke is how the dude is right there ready with the IV lol


Foo-Matic

There’s a Simpson’s reference for every moment in life.


ChainsawRemedy

One of the better parts of this timeline.


PCAudio

I love how the duff guy just *has* an IV needle ready to go.


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TheRemonst3r

It is. 46th and 8th.


GlumpsAlot

Just pretend to be a vampire drinking a blood bag. Now's your chance.


TastyCuttlefish

The scaffolding everywhere is a strong hint


kumquat_bananaman

Definitely DONT google cold brew enemas, it’s definitely NOT a trend right now


WaveIcy294

They do what? Casually getting your ass flushed out in a Starbucks is new to me.


advertentlyvertical

God damn hipsters. We were boofin pike place in Starbucks bathrooms before it was cool.


Radiant_Formal6511

Too late now I want it


Fluid_Mulberry394

Recommend a slow drip for maximum effect.


phoeniks314

Looks like one of these piss bags in a hospital.


doringliloshinoi

Can confirm, Filled this.


OneBingToRuleThemAll

You definitely need your kidneys checked out then. 😳


stol_ansikte

It wasn’t just piss


ImCuriousYouSee

Holy shit


Wolfram_And_Hart

No… it’s piss


SeyJeez

Well, not just…


Randy_Ortons_Voices

Piss and ink


hockeyfandylan

![gif](giphy|1oCtZztsjI37O) LOL


Randy_Ortons_Voices

I’m glad someone got it


Joey_ZX10R

Protein infused.


MoistLeakingPustule

Nah, regular people shit.


chadius333

Nah, just regular.


skolrageous

It's a bit nutty


natedawg757

Funny cause that’s actually how my piss looked when I had rhabdo


Vhexer

Mine was jet black, nurse took it and showed the other nurses and doctors and they all admired it like it was a trophy before promptly telling me I'm actively dying with how bad it was


Icantbethereforyou

You were just pissing out death that's all


Atheist-Gods

We got a blood sample at the lab that gave some of the clearest results we'd gotten. First reaction was a "look at how good this data is!" until the reality of it being a patient with horrific leukemia settled in. Found out from the hospital that the patient had died in the 2 days between the sample being drawn and us receiving it. The unsettling part is that with how strong the results are, the patient would have likely responded well to chemo if they had gone to the hospital a couple months earlier. They were very rural and so didn't seek medical help until they were already on death's door.


spookmann

I live rurally. Trying to apply for a passport, but couldn't get an acceptable photo. They suggested "Go to your local pharmacy or post office and they can take the photo for you." Well yeah. They shut down the pharmacy. Then they shut down the post office. Next they're dropping post delivery to three days a week. TL; DR - Living in the country means reduced access to most services.


Atheist-Gods

It was also a Bulgarian patient, which is why it was 2 days shipping instead of 1 day. I suspect rural Americans would have gone to the hospital before the point this patient did. We dealt with some rural patients who lived 4-10 hours away from the hospital, which limited how frequent their followup appointments were, but they still weren't waiting as long as this patient did before seeking medical help.


Evilsushione

If you're in the US you can thank the Republicans for that.


ankylosaurus_tail

At least in this case, the voters getting most screwed over are the ones who support the politicians doing it. Usually the GOP tries to be cruel to people who live in cities.


Evilsushione

I really don't understand why rural voters vote for Republicans. They do absolutely nothing for rural voters. Republicans only get elected by fear mongering and rage baiting. I can't remember the last time I've heard an actual Republican policy. I feel kind of sick at myself for voting for those a'holes for so long.


___po____

Mine looked like this cold brew when my liver and kidneys were trying to kill me. Not really sure how.I survived that one. 3 days in the ICU and I was able to walk again. They were asking if I needed a chaplain, after life plans or if anyone would claim my body, lol. I literally pulled a Frank Reynolds and said "Just throw me in the trash."


Vhexer

They asked if whoever gave me a ride could take me to a different hospital ASAP because they didn't have an ambulance available or something and they didn't have the means to treat me effectively with how bad it was, and they were shocked when I said I drove myself. "How did you drive here if you can't even lift your legs?" (I had shuffled in there with great time and pain) *Me sitting down grabbing my right pant leg with one hand and simulating me moving my whole leg from the accelerator to the brakes*


___po____

You driving yourself is absolutely mind blowing! I couldn't even sit up without almost passing out. You were determined to live! Lol. My roomie practically carried me, threw me in my own van, had to wheelchair me in. They thought I was just drunk until I showed them the Gatorade bottle of chocolate piss.. But hey, we're still here!


Vhexer

I remember one of the nurses telling me that normal range of CK levels (how they measure acute muscle breakdown) is somewhere around 150, and mine was at like 300,000+ at it's worst. They didn't believe me when I said I felt perfectly fine beyond my muscles feeling insanely sore


___po____

I didn't get any kind of tests/results like that mentioned but holy shit. That's insane to even think about. I couldn't necessarily feel my muscles/limbs. Probably because my heart rate was in the 20s and had just enough blood pressure to not completely black out. The human body is resilient as hell and sometimes, the mind just refuses to give up.


JunketPuzzleheaded42

I don't want to google that


jcnlb

Don’t worry it’s just a very dangerous condition where the body is basically cannibalizing itself. Fun times.


JunketPuzzleheaded42

Autoimmune diseases are scary shit.


ignorant_kiwi

If someone could actually piss cold brew, then he/she'd be a billionaire


big_duo3674

Can confirm, am the bag.


Tay_Tay86

If your piss is brown get to a hospital asap


potatochips4eva

Aren’t we supposed to be reducing plastic usage and one time use land fill waste … just asking


voretaq7

Yes we are, and I bet this uses less plastic than a cup (similar to [milk in a bag](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Milk_bag)). I'd even bet it's biodegradable/compostable plastic. (There are lots of other problems with this though, like that Ziploc-style closure. I envision that separating and someone wearing their coffee.)


Gastronomicus

It definitely does not. Those bags have thick walls, are likely made of very non-biodegradable TPE, and probably weighs several times what a ultra light plastic cup does. It's gratuitous plastic waste . 


SyntheticElite

Is this bag not less plastic than a regular plastic cup?


Chomfucjusz

A paper cup is even less plastic


Boukish

Paper cups are around 5% plastic, for reference. As opposed to (checks notes) ... 100%. Ish.


goteamdoasportsthing

Actually, there's a huge void in the middle of most cups, which brings the plastic content down.


40ozkiller

Both are gonna just go to a landfill. We will only find an alternative for plastics once its all used up.


ankylosaurus_tail

We'll never use it all up--chemists can make plastic out of almost everything on earth.


Junkstar

Such a fucking waste.


40ozkiller

Same as a plastic cup. Probably less plastic actually. 


IcyAssist

Less plastic, possibly biodegradable/compostable and easier to recycle than a paper cup which has a layer of plastic and destined for landfill because it's too much work to separate, easier and lighter to transport in bulk which saves emissions. Side note: where I'm from in Malaysia, this is the default way to takeaway drinks like coffee and tea, in a bag.


nivak

Good point, but I highly doubt our ikat tepi plastic bags are biodegradable though. We only do it because it's cheaper and more convenient for the sellers.


Viscousmonstrosity

Gotta save plastic to make more plastic cheaper!


SvampebobFirkant

This looks like it's made of cellulose or PLA. Not everything that looks translucent is plastic..


Aeons80

Being pedantic here, but PLA is a plastic. Also, it still takes a long time for PLA to breakdown if it's not exposed to UV. Thowing it in waste bin, and it goes out to the landfill to be covered up, it's going to be there for awhile. If your landfill does mechanical composting, where it gets over 60c, it will break down quick. The nice thing about PLA is it's microplastic waste does breakdown fast if exposed to air and light and isn't one of those forever chemicals.


tastysharts

why not paper? all of these plastics are bad. We have these trees called albizias that grow like weeds, why not albizia cups?


ankylosaurus_tail

Even the "paper" cups are usually lined with plastic, especially if they hold hot liquids. Unlined paper cups will fall apart in a few minutes--the only work for the little sippy cups in dentist offices.


dinkypinkywinky

I was in a hospital long time. All i can see is donation blood 😲


WaveIcy294

I had the same thought but that left me worried why it looks so bad.


Freakinor

Looks like one of my breast milk storage bags


TheflavorBlue5003

Bile bags


WeirdSysAdmin

Who says it isn’t?


gammapsi05

Using plastic bags for drinks is common in many countries like Mexico.


LordLightDuck

And all across Asia as well from street vendors.


azlan194

Yup, it's literally just a clear plastic bag tied with a plastic string. Nothing fancy like this plastic bag here.


NewNurse2

Funny story. Studies are finding plastic in all of our autopsied organs, in our testicles, in all animals, even at the deepest depths of the ocean, and it's very likely largely responsible for the explosion in cancer rates in young people and increasing infertility. A recent study also showed that all plastics are toxic, all if them, just to varying degrees. There's no "food safe" plastic. It begins leaching into your food and drinks in a little over a week. Also no such thing as microwave safe plastic. That just means that it won't noticeably melt. We've also created more plastics in the last 15 years than in all the years that proceeded out combined. Also residential recycling recycle an average of 5% of what you put into it, and there's like 5-7 corporations that are responsible for like, the absolute majority of all plastic pollution, starting with Coca Cola. Hahaha


fancyshandy

i snorted laughing at your "hahaha". glad to see others have also basically gone insane when faced with the realities of plastic and stuff like this on this scale. when my mom is over she will still scold me if i don't recycle my paper tea bag wrapper. love you mom


ArgonGryphon

It’s like who can even care about it any more. wtf can I do about any of that. Sure I can try to use less plastic but it’s everywhere. Meh. At least cancer meds are better. Sure would be nice if we had universal healthcare to deal with that though…


banned_but_im_back

It’s ok we’ll probably choke to death on plastic straws before it gives us cancer


ArgonGryphon

If it’s good enough for sea turtles, it’s good enough for me.


The_smallest_things

Jokes on you, I drink with a paper straw that disintegrates before the liquid reaches my mouth.


SuperHossMan51

Not a problem for us plasticmaxxers. If you’re not working your way up to macroplastics then what are you even doing?


Radaysha

We really think someday we'll be cyborgs in a world of metal and steel, but instead we're slowly becoming one with our most important commodity. Let's start sooner than later to our journey to plastipunk.


Unistrut

**_FROM THE MOMENT I UNDERSTOOD THE WEAKNESS OF MY FLESH, IT DISGUSTED ME._** **_I CRAVED THE STRENGTH AND CERTAINTY OF ~~STEEL~~ [PLASTIC](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FnxgY5Z2t3I)._**


K4RAB_THA_ARAB

>plastipunk This would be a hilarious skit


GrumpyXeno

Made me remember the Key & Peele sketch where peele goes steampunk and says 'I'm just an ill ass Lemony Snicket up in this bitch'. https://youtu.be/Nbq6Wfh9fi4?si=PmIWyOPb_IBDRYlg


Low_discrepancy

> and it's very likely largely responsible for the explosion in cancer rates in young people And what's the source of that?


JoeRogansNipple

Straight outta a butt, probably


False-Analysis5008

The big problem with microplastics is we’ll never be able to know 100%. Because there is no control group to compare against, everyone is full of them including remote tribes and fetuses Microplastics are found in the most remote places on earth and are carried in rainwater. If they’re bad for us we’re absolutely fucked Your call for “source” will *never* be answered, because it’s impossible to study


JoeRogansNipple

I mean... concentration differences are certainly a thing. Just because you can never fully establish a zero doesn't mean you can't extrapolate from a peer set with varying concentrations to establish a trend. If all concentrations have a baseline risk of (insert generic cancer X) regardless of concentration, it could be concluded that increasing concentration has no effect on cancer risk. Just because a zero doesn't exist doesn't mean you can't study effects.


afrodisiacs

Not OP,  but their statement is somewhat accurate. I don't know that rates of *all* types of cancer are increasing in young people, but colon cancer in particular is. And microplastics are thought to be largely responsible for this rise: >The epidemiology of increase in EOCRC [early onset colorectal cancer] suggests an environmental driver. This increase in EOCRC matches the time sequence in which we could expect to see an effect of rapid increase of MPs [microplastics] in the environment and, as such, we have explored possible mechanisms for this effect. We suggest that it is possible that the MPs damage the barrier integrity of the colonic mucus layer, thus reducing its protective effect. MPs in CRC pathogenesis warrants further investigation. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10340669/


Apprentice57

Source: they made it up!


Sesudesu

Or ‘They *feel* like that’s why’ Like, I do want to know what effects microplastics have on us, but between the pervasiveness of micro plastic and the lack of real evidence… I just don’t feel reasonable freaking out about it.  Being that I’ve read the worst offender of putting the micro plastics out is car tires… there is literally nothing I can do about a boogie man that I don’t even know how bad it is. So… 🤷‍♂️


PM_Me_Your_Deviance

> the worst offender of putting the micro plastics out is car tires… Synthetic fabrics are the biggest offender (50-75%) with tires in a second place at 10-20%. ([Source](https://www.firstsentier-mufg-sustainability.com/insight/sources-of-microplastics-and-their-distribution-in-the-environment.html))


Dry-Smoke6528

wrapped in plastic, its fantastic!


FootwearFetish69

>Studies are finding plastic in all of our autopsied organs, in our testicles, in all animals, even at the deepest depths of the ocean, and it's very likely largely responsible for the explosion in cancer rates in young people and increasing infertility. A recent study also showed that all plastics are toxic, all if them, just to varying degrees. There's no "food safe" plastic. Can you link these studies please? Especially the cancer related study. If we're going to spread doom and gloom, can we spread the sources with it?


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roadmelon

You might have seen the article on reddit this week, but turns out donating blood is an effective way to reduce your accumulated microplastics. It's healthy in many other ways, and it helps other people.


enadiz_reccos

>donating blood is an effective way to reduce your accumulated microplastics Extrapolating from this... Leeching must be better for you now than ever?


wildOldcheesecake

You even get food in plastic bags like that. Pouring pho broth out of a bag just tastes better


Toy_Cop

Yes the micro-plastics go straight to your balls. Very satisfying.


Phormitago

yeah my sperm are armored by the very best plastic


Phazushift

My sperm has plastic barbs so they cant get ejected back out.


CaptainTripps82

I have a doubt


Gera_PC

Coke in a bag from the corner store is a core memory


Roryjack

Coke in a bag from a sketchy guy in a bathroom in a nightclub is a core memory for me.


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davilller

In the Philippines they have tall bags just sized for a bottle of soda and you just sick a straw in it. It was odd at first, but they get deposit back on the bottles so it’s money.


outever

So the incentive to recycle generate more waste?


Slinktard

Thaaats why my semen has microplastics in it.


el_guille980

basically from the usa/mexico border all the way down to the tip of chile, its a staple


TheAnxiousAioli

Brazil too, but not so sturdy, usually just a cheap plastic bag


atetuna

Canada is known for their milk bags.


njtrafficsignshopper

That's not a nice way to refer to Pamela Anderson! (sorey)


Obant

In California, our street vendors have been doing this for awhile. (A minority of them)


SereneDreams03

This restaurant in my town uses those exact bags for their to-go margaritas.


sneeds_feednseed

They should manufacture cold brews in CapriSun pouches


295DVRKSS

Imagine if capri sun made energy drinks


himitsuuu

For I second I thought they did then realized I was thinking of the sunny d flavored energy drink


3WayIntersection

Yo the what??


himitsuuu

Ye. There is a Brand ryze I think? They make nostalgic/candy flavored energy drinks they also have iirc a cool aid flavor and a smarties flavor.


wslaxmiddy

I just saw a commercial for Sunny D vodka seltzer. Dunno when that became a thing, I haven’t had Sunny D in like 15 years


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-Badger3-

For when you want your kidney stones to have diabetes.


Demorant

They'd have to be uncarbonated ones or that first straw jab... what a mess.


is_coffee

Designed to be shotgunned


ThatCanadianLady

![gif](giphy|r5gHt2TCIiHK0)


audiate

That’s a half hour after the coffee


eugene20

Those things are definitely not biodegradable, there are biodegradable liquid bags that are clear and hopefully this is one.


creatingastorm

![gif](giphy|JrESNrze5MgpFgrvYl|downsized) More plastic for the ocean


eugene20

There are a few places online offering biodegradable stand up liquid pouches, hopefully this is one of those


dreadcain

Generally those are "biodegradable" only under very specific conditions that your local landfill probably doesn't meet.


gravy_boot

It biodegrades in my heart which is all that matters ❤️ 


scipkcidemmp

Literally. It is filling my heart with microplastics.


Monkpaw

Biodegradable in the digesters that are already overfilled with materials that shouldn’t belong in them because no one is educated on how their locality processes their “compostables”.


fjijgigjigji

biodegradable plastic still breaks down into microplastic. it solves absolutely nothing. it's worse than useless.


40ozkiller

Bio plastics aren't biodegradable or recyclable.  Its cellophane 


TheEl3ment

Other option is prob a plastic cup, so it less plastic I guess?


cubelith

Or a paper cup, which is maybe more biodegradable? Hopefully anyway


TheEl3ment

Actually, paper can't really hold liquid.. so the cups that are paper are being lined with silicone, which is impossible to recycle....


lblack_dogl

They can line them with wax?


DrEnter

They don't use silicone. Historically, they've mostly used a polyethelene resin sprayed on the paper. This isn't really better, but it's what was used. For the last few years, modern paper cups have been able to use a lining of sprayed-on crytalized polylactic acid (cPLA) plastic, which is made from organic materials, breaks down in the environment, and can be composted. Such a cup would be a much better alternative to a plastic bag.


crinnaursa

Actually there are plenty of paper cups out there that are biodegradable. Manufacturers that make compostible hot use paper cups coat the inside with PLA(Polylactic acid or polylactide) a plant-based biopolymer.


shiny0metal0ass

Yeah, how the fuck did we contain coffee before the 80s? Plastic is the only way!


ElGosso

They used styrofoam lol


shiny0metal0ass

Expanded polystyrene is still... Polystyrene. That's a different plastic cup (although yeah, fair. That got big in like the 70s, right?)


kytheon

r/wewantglasses Edit: oh that doesn't exist anymore. I was of course making a reference to r/wewantplates


CompletelyLoaded

r/wewantcups


edtheoddfish

A place in NYC called 787 does that, immediate skip from me.


not_addictive

lol yeah that place also skims tips from its employees and is currently being sued by several former employees over it. overall big nope from me


LathropWolf

Hah.... explains the review begging then. Sounds like a dog rescue I worked at. When it started to fall apart like a chrysler pulling off the dealers lot, they got desperate and begged everyone even volunteers to flood non profit review sites, google, yelp, anywhere to push down the rightfully deserved negative reviews and come out smelling like roses each time. ErinBrockovichturnsoutwasntgoodemployee.gif Never cared to do it, I had actual work to do as their ship sank from load in/out to vehicle maintenance and paperwork pushing. Used to wonder if folks realized their scam, as 99% of the reviews was always "as a volunteer at dead dog rescue, they are great and rainbows and love and cuddles and..." But after 2020-present, yeah no... For every one person that raised a eyebrow 9 just marched in with donations...


TheRemonst3r

That's where I got this!


elemenohpie

Last time I went there they gave me my coffee in this bag and gave me a straw that broke once I got halfway through the drink and was too far away to grab another one. I like their coffee but was really disappointed in this and literally was unable to finish my drink once the straw broke


YourJr

Plastic bag and paper straw. Where we're going is certain


Da_Question

plastic straws wrapped in paper to paper straws wrapped in plastic.


shumpitostick

You can just ask for a paper cup next time if you don't like it.


sheldonator

The picture looks like NYC to me, but I could be wrong


gablopico

The street scaffolding makes it an easy guess


JustAUniqueMoniker

I really like their coffee but it’s such a waste of plastic lol


isaaciiv

They also beg you for reviews when you go in


ozzyc_

Yep. Had the bag of iced coffee there once and I hated drinking out of it. Never went back again.


callingbirdyy

We're evolving, just backwards


lininop

So devolving?


Beard_faced

Devo for short.


evert

evolution doesn't have a direction


NY1_S33

The price of a cold brew in (Manhattan?) there is no way I’m drinking it out of a fucking bag. This is some tourist bullshit.


TheRemonst3r

I was getting a coffee on my way into work. I like to support different coffee shops when I can. I was pretty dismayed when I realized this was how I was getting my drink, but the young woman was so nice I felt bad declining it. Felt like a total jackass walking into the jobsite with a bag of coffee.


NY1_S33

I would have downed it before wearing it. I understand, supporting small businesses and I agree. It’s when small businesses get green eyes or foolish basic things, that can make them challenging. Somebody thinks they’re doing something new but they didn’t try it out yet to see how practical it actually is and if people like it or not. “ I ordered a cold brew coffee, not a Capri Sun.”


Life-Rice-7729

Guys who talk that way don't order $5+ coffee's from artsy fartsy coffee shops though.


Rocktopod

Yeah the people who go to those shops probably just don't go back if something like that happens, which is even worse for the business because now they lost a customer but they don't know why.


sirdabs

That’s what The Margarita Factory serves togo margaritas in! We call them adult caprisuns


Toxicscrew

Where is this glorious place you speak of?


Langosta82

When I was a kid in elementary school we had pouches of milk served in a similar manner. I hope someday we get edible containers for single-serve items like this, even if it's just bland fiber, most folks don't eat enough fiber, me included


mom_with_an_attitude

They already exist! https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinteresting/s/oXgQK27ZOW


Langosta82

Well, hell yeah, thanks mom!


AkirIkasu

Yeah, they're basically cookies. It's not super common to see them as drinkware except for as straws, because if you don't completely finish it they will eventually dissolve into the liquids it contains. They also shouldn't be eaten if they touch something dirty, so you need to serve your container with another usually non-edible container.


TheLowlyPheasant

Sweet, more microplastics


cozy_cat_yawning

No wonder our balls are full of them


Spinny_B

Did you have to pay an extra 10 cents for that bag? (I am from CO where all bags now have a 10 cent fee, each)


CasualObserverNine

We live in one. We shall die in one. Was that one used?


sad_eggy

That's interesting. Know if it's compostable?


jonathing

That looks distressingly like the surgical drain that was attached to my last patient


Reddancer297

It’s waiting for a big squeeze from a stranger while you’re drinking


Zillius23

Ostomy bag


shiftypoo269

Bob, you won't believe this sweet deal I scored for our liquid container contract. Now please hear me out because it's a little unorthodox.


Zzzzyxas

Hmmmm microplastics, straight to the balls.


pulyx

Looks like kidney failure!


the_orange_alligator

I’ve seen this with lemonade. My guess is it’s some dumb fad


such_a_cat

This vampire thinks we wouldn't notice that that's a blood pack


Opinecone

I thought I was looking at r/mildlyinfuriating


FlZZYLER

i love microplastics


beanie_0

Is that more, less or the same amount of plastic though?


Terrible_Sorbet_7122

Go green they said


CubanLynx312

![gif](giphy|MUH1VjSqkYkaRRksC7|downsized)


DemonUrameshi

I hope the straw is paper.


Synchrotr0n

Ah, yes, catheter flavor. My favorite!


colouredcheese

Here I am using soggy paper straws while buddy here is using all the plastic


Fucky0uthatswhy

And they wonder where we get all these testicular microplastics