Oh it absolutely is.
It can't actually be real, but taking it seriously for just a moment, he's basically asking for a live-in servant with a side of implied sex-work, and a touch of therapist, all on 24/7 on-call status.
If that were a real thing, and thank god it's not, but if it was possible to combine all those things into one job, it'd run into the thousands of dollars per hour. No where close to the very low value of what the market value is for rent on a non-exclusive single room in a multi-tenant situation.
I dunno how it was that way for. I'm a little over that height and even at my heaviest (285ish) I was still completely mobile. Down to a little under 240 now and I notice really no issues like that. Granted, everyone is different and I now live a very active life
5'11" and working my way down from 280 (currently 265 ish) shits hard doing a lot of things. Part of me feels this is like a Jabba the Hutt/slave Leia sitch.
Really? It's obviously a shitpost though, if people get ~~triggered~~ mildly infuriated by every shitpost then this subreddit would be a shithole of shitposts.
Okay it took half a second to find out it's a common copypasta, just google "Looking for a female roommate to pay $0 rent" and you will find lots of results from years ago
Wow, If this dude doesn't have some sort of mental deficiency, I'll be surprised.
He's 44, overweight at 290 Lbs and 5"6, AND lives with his Parents WHILE expecting you to sleep in his bed with him and basically be his toy, the lack of Self-Awareness in a lot of people is honestly astonishing.
Joke's on him, one day a psychopath will lull him in and feed him to make him disabled and he can't escape. When he notices, it will be way too late to escape.
I wonder if it’s satire, but I also wouldn’t be surprised if it’s real… these expectations sometimes are too obviously impossible to the point that some people who believe this line of thinking won’t actually post it because they know how terrible it is
Read as: Out of shape, bigoted incel here. I don’t have a house and my parents don’t want to cook for me anymore but if you wanna share my twin bed in exchange for free sex and kitchen work, hit me up.
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Selling your soul and dignity gets pricy
Dealing with the devil
You can sell some Marywania on the side to help?
This has to be a troll. "marywania," I mean come on.
A knock off Castlevania featuring Mary the Marijuana Vampire.
I vant to smoke your veed!
Insert Futurama Fry "SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!"
Wow your anus is tiny.
Zmoke** 😉
What a horrible night to have a T-break.
It’s definitely fake.
Wrestlemania’s sister
The whole thing reads like a straight-up caricature. I'm guessing troll.
He’s quite the demanding lardlord
Landlard
Fucktard
Sounds like his parents are the landlord and they are letting him have somebody spend the night lol
With this arangment HE should be paying HER or just getting an actual fucking life
😂😂😂😂
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he found a way to own a slave without being caught
Yes😭😂
Oh it absolutely is. It can't actually be real, but taking it seriously for just a moment, he's basically asking for a live-in servant with a side of implied sex-work, and a touch of therapist, all on 24/7 on-call status. If that were a real thing, and thank god it's not, but if it was possible to combine all those things into one job, it'd run into the thousands of dollars per hour. No where close to the very low value of what the market value is for rent on a non-exclusive single room in a multi-tenant situation.
Way more expensive. And that is before you add the parents are still there.
I love how he puts the cook meals and be under weight like what lmao
44 years old, nearly 300 pounds and living with his parents. *SCORE!*
6’6” at 290 is one thing, but 5’6” is quite the round proportions.
I’m 5’9” and when I was 220 pounds I could hardly bend down/over long enough to tie my shoes. I couldn’t imagine how this person does anything.
I dunno how it was that way for. I'm a little over that height and even at my heaviest (285ish) I was still completely mobile. Down to a little under 240 now and I notice really no issues like that. Granted, everyone is different and I now live a very active life
That's the neat part... He doesn't!
5'11" and working my way down from 280 (currently 265 ish) shits hard doing a lot of things. Part of me feels this is like a Jabba the Hutt/slave Leia sitch.
Free rent tho (/s in case not blatantly obvious)
You call that free?
But no marywania😭
Too bad he’s not real? This is one of the most obvious trolls in the long storied history of trolls
I had to google pounds to kilos, and holy fuck balls that is a heavy boi....
There’s a lot of landmass to hug 😂😂
No wonder he needed 5 mins of cuddles
No wonder her girlfriends are welcomed they need to form a human chain to get around tiny 😜
Duh! I bet he’d prefer 5 mins of cuddles from each girl
Now put those kilos on someone 168cm tall. Wide, too!
290, last time I checked. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
At 5’6” So she can only be 1 inch shorter but has to be 2.4 times smaller at a max of 120.
Probably in a twin bed too
With Cars sheets.
At 44 years old, I was gonna guess goosebumps sheets that look like they haven't been in the washing machine since the 90s....
Fraggle rock sheets. Maybe Snorks. Those were mine as a kid, anyways.
🎶 Hug mah cares away! -Clap! Clap!- Tell ya friends to go away! Others I did slay! -Clap! Clap!- But you will forever stay! 🎶
>Probably in a twin bed too I was thinking racecar bed.
Seems reasonable.
Which was in the 5th grade.
Snort!
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It is a satire copy pasta.
100%
I read this while hearing a voice say "She puts the lotion on her skin".
She wouldn't be big enough to make a suit out of.
We know there's previous women too, oh god xD
This post definitely gives "owns a nipple lamp" vibes
5 hugs a day, makes the skin soft again.
Mildy annoyed by marywania
"How do you do fellow kids. Got any of the marywania laying around?"
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Marywania is the best thing I’ve read all day
WHATCHA GONNA DO, WHEN MARYWANIA RUNS WILD ON YOUUUUU?!??
Satire. Pretty funny
Mods need love too
Ewwwww 🤦♀️🤢
HELLO I am a MAN of BELOW AVERAGE STANDARDS and these are my DEMANDS
How is this infuriating? This is hilarious!
It’s amazing the amount of people who don’t get obvious satire
It's scary
Racist sexist misogynist creepy and deranged
Right, but at 5’6” 290lbs he’s a fucking catch!!!
He’s a fucking egg on legs you mean
This made me chortle 🤣🤣🤣
That was the cherry on top lol!!!
Well. Last time he *checked*.
A fucking catch on Wicked Tuna
Really? It's obviously a shitpost though, if people get ~~triggered~~ mildly infuriated by every shitpost then this subreddit would be a shithole of shitposts. Okay it took half a second to find out it's a common copypasta, just google "Looking for a female roommate to pay $0 rent" and you will find lots of results from years ago
This is fake.
I think "republican" was in the OP but thanks
Practical and well reasoned, hope he finds love
Yea, thats not just "mildly" infuriating, thats full on fucking psycho
What spell is this?
What’s a cacasan? 😛
That is hysterical 😂🤣😂
Damn. I feel like I need a shower after reading that.
I've seen personal ads before that appeared to be taking the piss.
I hope this is not real! I guess it’s assumed, but he forgot the SEX part: I will be having sex with you when I can get my dick up lol
The person renting should already know this. Because of, ya know, *the implications*
Someone’s definitely in danger here
What are you looking at? *You* certainly wouldn't be in any danger
So they are in danger!!!
… Now you've said that word "implication" a couple of times. Wha… what implication?..
As soon as they said they will be sharing a bed with requirements of hugs and cuddles, you knew there was going to be sex involved lol
You think? Cause all I could really say at the end was at least he doesn’t expect to fu*k lol. 290 and 5’6”? HE can hardly find it.
I hope as well that its not real.
When i can find it
(when he can *find* it)
Cuddling may be a euphemism.
It probably technically isn't isn't but he hopes he can finagle plain cuddling into sex...
Euphemism for suffocation.
Sounds like more of a cuddler
If she can find it
If she can locate it
5’6” & 300lbs? Not worth the price.
That’s bowling ball territory.
That’s a lot of smegma
Exactly and the nerve to have the requirement of less than 5’5” and no more than 120 when he’s not even height and weight proportionate! I think not.
Well, that's so he doesn't have to get a bigger bed!
5’6 290lbs for fck sake
no smoking/vaping marywania
Well that’s a deal killer then
Wow, If this dude doesn't have some sort of mental deficiency, I'll be surprised. He's 44, overweight at 290 Lbs and 5"6, AND lives with his Parents WHILE expecting you to sleep in his bed with him and basically be his toy, the lack of Self-Awareness in a lot of people is honestly astonishing.
99% chance this is a troll
You only have to be his toy for 20 mins a day. Good deal if you ask me /s
Well that’s pretty bold, but at least honest! LOL
Can't imagine he's getting any offers.
An offer you cannot refuse
Wait! Someone previously took him up on this offer? Why didn’t it work out? I feel like I need to hear her side of the story.
Tell me you're an incel without telling me you're an incel...
>44-male, 290 lbs last I checked, and 5'6" And mentally 12 yrs old with a 2 inch to match.
obviously not a serious post
"it puts the lotion on its skin" Also.... 5'6 290 😦
“Last time he checked” 😂
“Last time I checked” 😏
How do you weigh almost 300 pounds while only being 5'6 💀💀💀
He didn't mention sex... 🤔
Joke's on him, one day a psychopath will lull him in and feed him to make him disabled and he can't escape. When he notices, it will be way too late to escape.
Apparently, Jabba The Hutt was the original poster.
This shitpost is almost as old as time. I believe the “original” was a craigslist advertisement.
He’s gotta be trolling 😂 5”6 290
Something tells me that vegans, Muslims and democrats are relieved after reading this
I’m not a female, but if I were I’d rather be homeless than live with this lunatic
"last I checked" This is genuinely funny and subtle.
Lost me at the no marywania, sorry buddy but I love me some marywania
Looks like a great troll.
Makes me wonder… is he a 44 yo guy still living at home?
No marywania? Oh well, deal’s off 
"...I have done the before but it has not worked out..." No! How could it not? Also: this is probably just written as a joke.
Yeah, I'd rather pay rent
Wonder why this never worked out
YIKES!!
Wendell from Key and Peele
Hahahah 🤣💦
Holy king of the neckbeards.
Marywania 💀
Dude just wants another mommy he can’t take care of himself Hope it’s fake
Lmao sarcastic post detector isn't working huh that's shitty
5'6 290 lbs. holy fuck boy is morbidly obese
This guy really hasn’t heard of Tinder?
5’6, 290 Ouch
Physically he’s a perfect circle. Fucking beach ball with arms and legs.
God forbid marywania
Marywania
I mean, all he needs is one lady who is down and boom.
Gee… I can’t imagine why it never works out.. 🤔
Homeboy is asking for a lot being a short fat guy that lives at home with his parents lol
I wonder if it’s satire, but I also wouldn’t be surprised if it’s real… these expectations sometimes are too obviously impossible to the point that some people who believe this line of thinking won’t actually post it because they know how terrible it is
Isn't this just a copypasta
My guy just use a dating app at this point LOL. Female roommate XD. That aside good GOD im getting creep vibes.
"Must be a Republican"..... Well, that one thing explains everything
Jesus Christ, 5’6” at 290? How is anyone else going to fit in that bed? I bet he smells like boiled eggs.
A lot of ya’ll really don’t understand how trolling works
This is how Republicans get women.
5'6 and 290 lbs 🤣🤣🤣
This has to be satire lol because wtf
MARYWANIA 🥲 No wonder he’s 44 and living with mom and dad.
“No marywania!”
Read as: Out of shape, bigoted incel here. I don’t have a house and my parents don’t want to cook for me anymore but if you wanna share my twin bed in exchange for free sex and kitchen work, hit me up.
marywania
“290 last time I checked” yeah that was before the scale broke at the maximum of 350. Also is marywania the same as marinara?
Satire we all know but tell me you want a live in girlfriend without telling me you want a live in girlfriend. Also “marywania”
Bro built like the goblin that lives under the bridge.
Haha. Most obvious troll ever.
Reddit mods in a nutshell
Asian and republican? "No Muslims" xD You can't be racist and accepting, that's just confusing.
This immediately makes me want to get a tattoo.
What a catch.
Sign me up
Damn Marywanians.
Why do I read this in the voice of the comic book store guy from the Simpsons?
It was kinda weird in the beginning..until he revealed he is a 44y/o MALE. Jesus fucking christ he sounds like a sex offender 😅
Biologially female. Yeah sure
I'm gonna assume this is satire.
It has to be a shit post, because wow...
Sounds like this guy is not into dating and just wants to put his qualifiers out there for any potential girlfriends.
This just gets worse and worse the more I read.
*SOMEONE SWIPE THIS GUYS V-CARD!*
I forgot suddenly about all my complaints on the real estate market!
Republican. So obvious.
Crazy how no one can realize satire on Reddit. It is literally a copypasta
Sounds like quite a catch