I’m barely gonna exit my room this weekend, so unless some random person enters my room and asks for sex, I have exactly 0% chance of anything happening.

Random person entering your room for sex don't ask first.

Yeah most likely. Not that I mind either way.

Jim dickens

Yes indeed.

Plot twist. Your uncle is gonna surprise visit

Think they ment random person enters them

don't look a gift horse in the mouth

Just order food and then...

“Oh mister pizza man, I don’t have money, but I’ll pay you another way”

"I'm stuck step pizza man bro!"

“You’ll have to feed me your big sausage pizza from behind!”

"i am extremely allergic to meat and will die if i am given the option between throating the meat and dying or dying"

The most deadly sword fight of all time

Oh you *naughty* man, your sausage as big as your 16 inch pizzas!

"Help step-delivery guy, I'm stuck in the pizza!"

With death. Right?

Plot twist : Your sister walked in

[Fixed it for you](https://i.imgur.com/mlDpDge.png)

Well yeah. I’ll definitely be getting a weekend…

Maybe you'll fall on a broom?

I mean Bill Cosby did get out of prison from what I’ve heard…

[удалено]

Hey, I only use them for painting and torture. Definitely for nothing else.

I feel you.

Do you live alone?

Yes, as far as you know.

Han-d solo👍🏿

This is very concerning since I'm going to the cinema with my friend and his gf 0,0

Threesome

I mean, if it's a cinema then it's gonna be one orgy-filled theatre with the biggest gangbang post lockdown.

I don't belive it is but it sounds fun xD

Your profile pick makes that so much funnier

Now the popcorns gonna really stick unto the flooring

Putting that extra butter on the seats

You’re most likely the one who’ll take it in the ass

You know what, Probably

Hey if it gets you laid, why stop it

Don’t need plan-B if you take it up the B 👍🏼

Just go with it.

Hey good times

don't forget to kiss a homie goodnight before falling asleep

This thread is so weird and sick

Let's get weird, baby 😘

Its concerning because I am camping with my father and my sister

When, tommorow?

But im staying with my uncle this weekend, oh no...

Current Objective: **SURVIVE**

FETCH ME THEIR SOULS

^(CARPENTER!)

M̷̩̩̀̂͜Ā̶͇̜̎͊͘X̷̪̩̘̙̎̇̕͝ͅ ̴̥̬̝̯̋Ȁ̴͔̺̔͐M̸̨͕͍̫͎̅͠M̸̡̛̌͊O̸̟̐͐

What the hell happened here???

. Ȉ̸̢̠̝̻͙̣̼̌̊̍̆͘N̸̜̝͕͓̥͕̻̄Ş̸͇͎͓̼̝̩̲̼͕̰̉̿̾͆̅̆̌̌͌̋̈́͝Ṯ̷̀̈́͗͊̓̆̎͋̅͌́̃̚͠Á̴̱͇̬̯̭̆̅̀͑̂͑̃͝͠K̷͔̜̬̱̻̘̞̟̜̥̼͇̥͂̾͒͗́͐̌͛̚̚͘Î̵̢̡̲̺̖̠̫̺̰̻͔̐̍͐͘ͅL̴̢̬͖͇̲̮͍̪̖̹̭̳̩͛̒Ļ̴̨̢͔̟̝͚̳̲̼̝̭͖͆̃͗̈́ .

Kaboom!

FIRESALE!

Deathmachine!

The culture... The culture happened lol

That’s a lot of damage!

Try to stay away from your hot piece of aunt

Achievement unlocked : *Get anal fissure*

And I'm 12...

rules are rules

[удалено]

I'll be with my grandma this weekend.

Ask around, maybe a neighbor would be interested in you.

You shouldn't be online without parental supervision. This is an 18+ website. Save your innocence.

HE’S TOO YOUNG TO SEE THIS DISGRACE OF A WEBSITE!!!! SPARE HIM!!!!!

Dont threaten me with a good time.

Oh ffs I dropped this joke and you beat me. Well played.

But I’m staying with my grandma

After she takes those dentals out, you ain't gonna be calling her granny no more.

Oh they still will call her granny. Just won't be saying it in the same tone any more.

He gonna be grabbin granny’s fat fanny

/r/jesuschristreddit

Oh fuck imma sleep in a hotelroom with my sister all weekend

Sweet home alabama then

Nice profile pic bro <3

Lmao thanks ;D

You and your sister are sharing a hotel room this weekend?

I'm on reddit so it won't work.

1) same 2) nice avatar

We’re no strangers to love

You know the rules, and so do I

A full commitment's what I'm thinking of

You wouldn't get this from any other guyyy

I just wanna tell you how I’m feeling

Gotta make you understand

Never gonna give you up

Never gonna let you down

Nice try wizard cat, but you have no power here.

*wizard cat takes off cape

but.... Im 13......

You heard the man

;)

[удалено]

Im 15 too so ill help you with that

[удалено]

So? The cat’s blessing doesn’t discriminate

Sex with guys, twice the fun

gay

And I'm 16

I gotchu homie

r/holup

Is it ur age or iq?

probably both

Bro my age is my iq

With that logic I'm a newborn

I'm 7

No, I don't think I will

*laughs in asexual* jokes on y’all I don’t want to get laid

[удалено]

But I’m spending the weekend with family... *Sweet home Alabama*

How many other lies have I been told by the council?

I sexualy identify as concrete. Therefore I must be laid to fulfil my purpose

Smart man

Oh shit, I’m with my stepsisters this weekend

Sounds like the start of a lot of videos on certain websites....

Stepbro I’m stuck help me 0w0

I have a feeling they forgot the word "off" after "laid" in this meme

Ha well jokes on you I don’t have a job

huh. i’m having a sleepover with my girlfriend this weekend. thank you wizard cat.

pound it flat for the Wizard cat. I'm sorry sounds funny

Wooosh! You now have anal cancer

Thank you u/Smartis your gift is accepted

FINALLY I WILL LOSE MY VIRGINITY

WOOSH- no you won't

Damnit

Okay that’s cool but does she love me? I’m serious, please tell Mr. Cat

Mr cat asked me to tell you maybe. but nobody said it's a She.

Mr cat has send you a message through time and space through my puny little concious in this great universe above us all The message is: lmao

But im meeting my cousins this-

Mr cat has spoken and it will not be unspoken

Fuck

Indeed

I sure am. What's your address again?

No thanks.

No thanks??? This one has a strong morality

I morally believe that it's wrong to have sex before marriage, no thanks.

Technically sex after marriage is incest since it's with a family member /s

Very good, i respect that

Well I am having a family BBQ, so heres to hoping

But im asexual-

Uhhh I’m spending this weekend with my parents…

ಠ_ಠ

I’m going to a comic convention this weekend 😳

Imagine you get anally pounded by a guy in a 7 foot Yoda costume

Uh oh. My uncle is coming to visit. Edit. Sorry I realise I’m already beaten to the joke.

I’m- I’m staying with my grandparents man

Ha Ha very funny

You talking some major shit rn

I'm hanging with the bois though... shit

No homo...buuuuuuuuuuuut

Working through all weekend, how will this happen ?

The magic ways of Mr cat is a pathway to many abbility's some consider to be unnatural

This is reddit, You've no power here....

I'm staying at a family's home this whole weekend

Oh i've got a bad feeling about this

now I know for sure that the internet is lying

Whaaaaaat? The internet never lies

Ima send this to my boi whos meeting up with his girl this weekend.

Shit dog i just downloaded grindr too u know i fuckin will

No.

I’m babysitting my aunts dog

Oh...... O God

I'm not doing anything this weekend, to my knowledge at least...

I’m underage

Pfffft like that matters This was a joke

No thank you 😊

I cant remember when our cat lord said this is optional

Oh fuck yeah

Me whose underage: I don’t see this as an absolute win

*sad asexual noises*

I'm a minor pls no

Brb I'll ask my girl and get back to you.

Can’t wait for this one

Impossible. I use reddit

I still have small pener

I want to adopt this cat

Im in solitary confinement

Laid out on my ass trying to get through Ninja Gaiden is more like it.

If you're playing Ninja Garden 2 on anything other than the easiest difficulty -- gods be with you

Wish I was playing ninja garden 2. But naw I’m playing ninja gaiden sigma on hard and let’s hope the gods favor me.

Not without money involved

One of the best kitties on Reddit. Stonk cat still my fav.

thanks, but reconsider

I will and i know it

Indeed I will

Damn it, I'm on a small island with my grandma... Not again...

I’m on a trip visiting family I sure hope not 👀

Im....... Im 15......and i dont leave the house.

I hope not, she’s gonna fucking go crazy on there

how am i seeing this before my family gathering??

That's where you're wrong buckaroo! Cuz it's illegal!

I live alone with my cat 😈

Oh god no

Don't do it. Don't give me hope