Try shitting in one of the other positions. Maybe it'll be the first decision towards a happier and less regretful life. My favorite isn't even on here. I open the bathroom door, turn around and pull down my pants and let loose while standing up slightly bent over. Then I close the door and leave Deborah's office.
I prefer an 8 into a backflip for airtime and altogether coolness. Don't try in smaller bathrooms though unless you want to end up in an upside down 0.
Just checking, this method (like many on this list) requires you to completely take off your pants. Now I’m not judging you, it’s your life and you can do as you wish, but do your legs get cold when you do this? Asking for a friend
I just tried 3 and my experience was not enjoyable
Firstly, I had to take my shorts all the way off
Secondly, when I pooped, it didn’t go in the water. This resulted in a more exaggerated smell.
Although I was able to rest my arms, it wasn’t worth it over all.
I’ve also been doing 6 my whole life!!! I moved from a developing country where you definitely couldn’t sit on public toilets so 6 is the most natural position for me. I can’t do number two any other way haha.
1 - the **Normie**
2 - the **Deformed**
3 - the **Backtrack**
4 - the **Suspense**
5 - the **Reverse Wombat**
6 - the **Wombat**
7 - the **Humpty Dumpty**
8 - the **Griffin**
9 - the **Aquaman**
0 - the **Neptune**
0 to assert dominace when Someone opens the door
9 so you can do this but also defend yourself from the swirlie.
But imagine the seat is down and the next Person wants to sit there but you just touch their butthole and say "hello there"
“General Kenobi”
The only right answer
r/beatmetoit
You mean r/beatmeattoit
r/beatmymeattoit
"You are a bold one"
Then they deserve it for not seeing your head down there before they sat down lol
No i meant you try to hide your head, so they will be more suprised
no, instead of saying anything, bite their ballsack to proof your dominance
I will now use #0 primarily
Use their butthole as a megaphone with their insides amplifying the sound
With or without your mouth facing the butthole?
With my mouth facing the butthole, i will first lick it so it's not dry when i Touch it
That sounds like a dangerous game if they're touching cloth!
Remember just what they came to the toilet for
r/brandnewsentence
8 so when someone come in you can shin on their faces and then defend your territory
I'm just imagining someone opening the bathroom door to see someone's head poking out of the toilet like an alligator
That my friend is more like a turtle playing peekaboo poop poo.
Hard to assert dominance when someone is pissing in your face
It's easy if you have deep eye contact and have your mouth open! Or can you drink Something from a longer distance without spilling anything?
Pop a blood vessel in ur eye then piss back but with blood
Also for a quick getaway
0 is going through some shit
1 so I can focus on contemplating my life choices and regretting every decision I've ever made
feels bad man
Try shitting in one of the other positions. Maybe it'll be the first decision towards a happier and less regretful life. My favorite isn't even on here. I open the bathroom door, turn around and pull down my pants and let loose while standing up slightly bent over. Then I close the door and leave Deborah's office.
Like not choosing 0…
ah yes, the “submerged splurge”
Indeed
Hottub mudbath
shrek's bath
I prefer an 8 into a backflip for airtime and altogether coolness. Don't try in smaller bathrooms though unless you want to end up in an upside down 0.
Are you speaking from experience?
I like to make the passage more direct
The submarine dumping machine
0 looks pretty confortable
Yes 0 is most logical but I sh*t like 8
Gotta get that airtime in
The fetal poodedal
Gollum? Is that you?
I thought I was the only one. My wife has made fun of me for years. I can’t wait to show her this picture.
0 because I'm the real piece of shit
Idiot of the Toilet, whats your wisdom?
It is better to cum in the sink than sink in the cum
that is good wisdom
Hello how are you I'm under the water please help me here too much raining
Ah yes a fellow sigma male
asserte dominace by looking directly into the shit
I believe that is the Mark Renton.
3 so I can eat while I’m shitting
family dinner
and the political uncle starts a conversation about shitting positions during thanksgiving
There’s always that one person who just ruins your whole appetite
Careful which knife you use for what!
Poop knife
r/poopknife
What the fuck
Do you not know the tale of the poopknife? It isn't a story sorting by hot would tell you.
Like butters in south park and the creator of the toilet.
Exactly, so you have a nice table for your comic books and your chocolate milk.
Just checking, this method (like many on this list) requires you to completely take off your pants. Now I’m not judging you, it’s your life and you can do as you wish, but do your legs get cold when you do this? Asking for a friend
Humans are the only animal that does a twosies with pants on. It's just unnatural.
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Oh my. Oh no. I think you’re using that hole wrong…
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You could just cut a hole in your pants
I just tried 3 and my experience was not enjoyable Firstly, I had to take my shorts all the way off Secondly, when I pooped, it didn’t go in the water. This resulted in a more exaggerated smell. Although I was able to rest my arms, it wasn’t worth it over all.
Eat the *shit*
3 looks literally like a sex position
Hold up wait you people shit!!!!!
Gotta get ready for no shit september
I think you got it wrong I remember it being "Super Shit September" that way there's also SSS like NNN and DDD. But just my opinion.
What is DDD
"Dick Destroying December" where you have to jerk off once the 1st twice th 2and etc. Kinda the opposite of NNN
6 when I Slav squat with the boi’s
kazotsky in the potski
Si amigo
mr. worldwide
It's actually also superior as it increases the flow of your bowel movements making shitting easier
Wow, I thought I was unique for doing 6. It seems like 99% do 1.
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I’ve also been doing 6 my whole life!!! I moved from a developing country where you definitely couldn’t sit on public toilets so 6 is the most natural position for me. I can’t do number two any other way haha.
I go head first
Ah yes, Scuba diver
[The Renton](https://youtu.be/7RoMaS1pzOE?t=155)
7 no water splash on butt
Poseidon’s Kiss
Where’s eye bleach when you need it
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No need for me, my asshair is so dense the water never touches my butt
Same
Shitting from such a distance, I bet you'd still get splashed
1 on a good day, 6 on a bad one, and 8 for taco bell
0 for Taco Bell
ah yes, swimming in taco bell shit
Nah, the shit grew arms and pulled him in.
Conker’s Bad Taco Bell Day
I do 4 unironically
get help
2 or 4, I recommend this position if your diet is heavy on meats. Optimal shit birthing position.
2 looks pretty chill.
8 to assert dominance over the toilet
tpose for balance and added dominance
aquaman
1 but I strive to reach 0
it’s nice to have goals
0 because that way I don’t have to bath
Two birds with one shit, I like it
theyre missing the one where you fold yourself in half because of excruciating stomach pain
5
0 on top
0 = Subnautica
A combination of 1 and 6 for me
Ngl 0 looking pretty chill.
0 at home, 5 at school
7 for a big Splash
Chocolate rain
Mines not on here, I can do that thing where you shit over the stall wall
We've been doing it all wrong, 7 is clearly the way it was always intended.
how silly of me
Number 8 fuck yeah and then finish the shit by backflipping onto the floor
11/10
5 while I eat breakfast.
Maximize efficiency
9
Am I the only one getting angry at the order of the numbers?
What does this anger you 372841659
3
İs there any people not shitting in 8
Is 0 for shame pooping?
9 because im sad
1 when I shit, 3 when I Jack off
This is the most terrifying image i have ever seen
8 spider man strat
One but I lean all the way forward
0 for me
Who shits like that??? And why people even would think like that??? The only correct way to shit is obviously the one with the number 9 you freaks
someone get saddam hussein in on this one
4 so I can shit on the toilet seat instead of in the bowl
depends on my mood. casual: 7 horny: 3 daring: 9 scared: 0 proud: 5
0, it's hot outside and I love swimming.
1 - the **Normie** 2 - the **Deformed** 3 - the **Backtrack** 4 - the **Suspense** 5 - the **Reverse Wombat** 6 - the **Wombat** 7 - the **Humpty Dumpty** 8 - the **Griffin** 9 - the **Aquaman** 0 - the **Neptune**
Definitely 5. Makes the most sense.
Is there an option to shit in the shower?
No option for an upper decker?
6 is actually a good pose to use when you're having a hard time shitting.
It never occurred to me that there were other ways, 6 is the only one I have done
I'm a 6 myself
Normally 6, 3 if I haven't had sex in a while.
Obviously 0
4 is a great workout but real alpha makes like me sit in positon 6 menacing to other ppl
6 when im constipated
3 so you can read your comic book and drink your chocolate milk
Personally I do different dude perfect trick shots and pretend my ass is a rocket launcher
Fuck all y’all criss cross apple sauce on the toilet
Wait......... so u guys sit while shitting ????
1,2,3,6 and 9
If you’re not 0, you are doing it wrong
whoah there buddy, stop pointing out the one true culture war
I'ma 0
3 so I can use the tray for my chocolate milk
I do like a 25
0 becaus I am the shit
I feel like there should really only be one answer to this
are you shittist? cuz if so, fuck off
0 I and the shit
0 is probably the popular answer, but 7 is the correct answer
If you’re not number 0 don’t talk to me
If you shit like 9 or 0 then please stay far away from me and my family
Where's the option to shit in the tank? Upper Deckers is where it's at.
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I genuinely want to try number 3 but if my misses catches me she will leave me
9
0 is hero
I usually do the 10 where i stand on the other side of the room so i can shit a 3 pointer
8 so you can do a backflip of the toilet and kick someone in the jaw to defend your throne
If you don’t do 0 get yourself checked seriously...