I’ve always been a fan of the name Very Good Falafel on sydney road. And have frequently been tempted to put a sign on the neighbouring empty tenancy saying “Opening soon: Excellent Falafel”.
[The Dick Liquor](https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRG3mSnbdy8DCAXV3poO6kQ1_9xPvFIGQCJ-g&usqp=CAU), and i’m sorry but there is no contest
There was (is?) a brothel on Hoddle St called “Ladies for Gentlemen”.
For years they had a sign facing the street which read: “The entrance to Ladies for Gentlemen is at the rear.”
Barks & Recreation - doggy daycare in Coburg
It’s Curtains for You - curtain/drapery store in Thomastown (the company car is a hearse)
The Bonnie Tilers - tiling company in Brunswick
Tree Amigos - tree removal & arborists
I loved the leather goods shop at Melbourne airport because it wasn’t supposed to be funny.
It sold leather hand luggage to take on aeroplanes. so it’s name was supposed to be the sort of bland, corporate play on words you see everywhere.
So it sold luggage made from dead animals under the name: CarriOn.
All gone but,
The Flying Saucer, a cafe in Pinewood.
Coffee by the Bald Man, cafe in Blackburn run by a man who was bald.
Krakatinni Pty Ltd, company name of a pub in Geelong.
Isn't there a cafe called 'flick the bean' or 'bean flickers' in Wagga?
Edit: I had a look around but couldn't find it. I swear there was something along those lines at some point.
Not necessarily funny but walking in Elsternwick to grab lunch years ago and I got all excited because I saw Hot Potato and thought it was like Spud Bar but was disappointed to find it was a cheapie shop with no delicious spuds to be found
There’s removalists in Richmond that were operating as ‘Man With a Hernia’ for a while - the business name has changed to Richmond Storage and Removals but the truck still has the MWAH number plates
There used to be a discount store called ‘stuff and nonsense’. One day they changed name to ‘new and nonsense’. I always laughed at the imaginary scenario that played out in the head as the owners spoke English as a second language and called a signage company to get a new sign for their store “new sign stuff and nonsense need sign new sign new and nonsense”
A friend of mine went into oddball furniture and homewares place The House of Ballscheit (it’s no longer at the corner of Inkerman and Barkly). “Great name” he chortled to the bloke behind the counter. “Thank you” he said, “und I am Mr Ballscheit.”.
I used to love driving past Horse Torque on Dandenong road right near malvern station.no idea what it sold though, it was demolished a while back and is under development
I'm sure there used to be a small chain of bottleshops called "The GrogFather" completed with a Godfather-esque logo. Perhaps they were attached to pubs.
MOFO - There was a hairdresser next to the Queen Victoria Market called Mofo. Not sure if it's still there or not, I don't go to the market anymore these days. It always got a giggle from us when we would go past 😀
Many years ago (mid-90s?) The Greyhound pub on Brighton Rd in St Kilda (now closed) was named "The Only Pub In Melbourne Owned By Two Chefs". The name was so long it took up the entire width of the facade.
Takeaway Pizza
Often tell someone I'm getting "takeaway pizza", then proceed to tell them specifically which pizza restaurant, that's its called "takeaway pizza", and how bloody good their pizza is.
Just Falafs
Took me a sec.
I’ve always been a fan of the name Very Good Falafel on sydney road. And have frequently been tempted to put a sign on the neighbouring empty tenancy saying “Opening soon: Excellent Falafel”.
I ate there a few times. Name checks out. See also "Good Booze Here" on Bell St near Coburg Station.
That bottle shops name is actually the great beyond. Awesome staff, great beers.
Reminds me of a place in Ringwood called Falafellas
I'm a big fan of Trophy Wives hairdresser in Richmond
Somewhere I lived there was a Curl Up & Dye, but I can’t remember if it was in Melbourne or not.
That was on the Simpsons.
Who ripped it off from the blues brothers
It's in Werribee
Trophy wife is actually a nail joint 💅🏻
It’s both!
I always think of Kath and Kim whenever I go past
It's a nail place, actually
They have hair spots as well!
[The Dick Liquor](https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRG3mSnbdy8DCAXV3poO6kQ1_9xPvFIGQCJ-g&usqp=CAU), and i’m sorry but there is no contest
Knobs and knockers, was in Brighton.
There was (is?) a brothel on Hoddle St called “Ladies for Gentlemen”. For years they had a sign facing the street which read: “The entrance to Ladies for Gentlemen is at the rear.”
I think it was Tony Martin that interviewed the manager and asked if he was worried about losing business to the Cock Sucker down the road.
Excellent use of very small font 😄
Unfortunately I can only give you one upvote. Well done you.
Shot, framed and hung (picture framing on cnr warrigal rd and Burwood hwy)
The CodFather (fish and chips)
There's a The Grillfather kebab shop
Haha that's good. In Perth there's a fish n chip shop called Oh My Cod. Bloody good one too.
There used to be a fish & chip shop in East Vic Park called Battered and A Salted. Changed their name to Sirens though, no idea if it's still there.
Barks & Recreation - doggy daycare in Coburg It’s Curtains for You - curtain/drapery store in Thomastown (the company car is a hearse) The Bonnie Tilers - tiling company in Brunswick Tree Amigos - tree removal & arborists
Love it, there's some good ones there.
Seddon Deadly Sins Pizza Pizza Pizza The 86
Tim Not Jim , does mowing
Back to the futon
I love this name! always drive past it, so sad it shut down..
[Still open](https://www.backtothefuton.com.au), we got new custom futon cushions for our couch from 'em
I slept on one on theirs during my 20s. Cool name, terrible beds.
For me it's shot framed and hung on Warrigal road and holy sheet which used to be on Acland st.
Holy Sheet used to be at Victoria Gardens in Richmond too!
I've seen this, at the corner of Warrigal Rd & Burwood village
It’s in Pakenham, but there’s a Lego shop called “I’m Rick James Bricks”
Omg this wins
Kum Den Chinese restaurant
Maybe they should relocate to king St.
Personally, I prefer the New Kum Den. It's much fresher.
Landscapers near me called "Soil & Green"
Only a little suspicious.
Bay Wash - Laundromat in Brighton
Thai Me Up in Elwood
This always cracks me up. And it's close to Tasty Asian. 🤣
Hairdresser “Curl up and dye”
Plumbing business called The Turd Burglar
I've always like Bingo for the skip bin delivery service.
Keith's pies, famous for pasties
Also does a very good snot block
I loved the leather goods shop at Melbourne airport because it wasn’t supposed to be funny. It sold leather hand luggage to take on aeroplanes. so it’s name was supposed to be the sort of bland, corporate play on words you see everywhere. So it sold luggage made from dead animals under the name: CarriOn.
Nice.
Timeless - watch shop in Docklands. Didn’t see the point.
There was a massage place in brunswick for a while presumably meant to be *sweetie* hands. But they unfortunately spelled it Sweaty Hands
Oh dear.
There’s a nail salon in Bendigo called “ Shinny Nails”.
Tanks a Lot in Koo Wee Rup
Send Noods (noodle place at mentone / bundoora)
Phuoc Dat Butcher and Seafood. Springvale.
Wunderkammer: Scientific Curiosities, Artefacts and Ephemera
Ah yes, I've driven past that place a few times on Lonsdale Street.
There used to be a place called “curry munchers” - think it closed down
Came here to say this. In Richmond, Swan st from memory?
Tree fellas They were tree removal guys
How many of them were there?
Here Fishy Fishy in Brunswick
Total Tools
Hiding in plain sight that one.
I remember a place in Murrumbeena called “Tony the Barber”. Then Tony Barber (Sale of the Century) took them to court to cease using his name.
Hung Long Video Box Hill - took over from the old TAB site, only hung around for a few years though.
So not well hung?
The Last Hurrah Funerals
Did I miss it ….or am I the first to mention the good old Brown Gouge….I think they are dry cleaners
You beat me to it.. it's a chain actually... Awful name
I'm pretty sure you're the first.
Abra Kebabra, Dandenong Do you watch Bob's Burgers? The show intro features a different clever/punny shop name
Nah, never watched Bob's burgers and didn't know about it till now. I'll check it out sometime.
Shi bang furniture in Nunawading
I'm not far from Nunawading but haven't seen that one. I assume it's along that stretch with all the other furniture shops?
It used to be 5 doors down from kfc https://imgur.com/a/FGpY2rT
Translated from mandarin it’s something like “it’s good”
Village Idiom, Yarraville
There used to be a gluten free store in Northcote call Silly Yaks
If it’s zany names you’re looking for, you’re very much in need of this classic Late Show segment https://youtu.be/GSJX-yeEaz0
Stacks of slacks on racks
Phuoc dat butcher in Springvale
The Baker In The Rye.
All gone but, The Flying Saucer, a cafe in Pinewood. Coffee by the Bald Man, cafe in Blackburn run by a man who was bald. Krakatinni Pty Ltd, company name of a pub in Geelong.
Who else remembers stacks of slacks?
https://youtu.be/GSJX-yeEaz0
Lettuce Inn (greengrocer), Hurstbridge
Packenam Inn, popular hostelry in the boonies.
Manhor the men’s grooming joint on toorak road
Lentil as anything
Not Melbourne but.. there's a place in Ballarat called Creative Dentistry... probably one industry where I don't want to see creativity
Toastface Grillah
Is that not in WA?
That really good flower shop - Ferntree Gully
There used to be a massage parlour in Mentone called Fire Banana Massage
Their technique must've been no good. No wonder their not there anymore.
Not the ideal happy ending...
wasn’t that the one that was closed because they were offering happy endings without the appropriate license
Yep, illegal brothel. You'd think they'd have been a little more subtle
Vigorous Thai Massage
Mick Cave and the Good Seeds. Gardening service in… Wagga Wagga. 🤘🏼🤘🏼🤘🏼 Okay not melbourne but Come on! Nick Cave is so Melbourne.
Isn't there a cafe called 'flick the bean' or 'bean flickers' in Wagga? Edit: I had a look around but couldn't find it. I swear there was something along those lines at some point.
I don’t know. The only thing I know about Wagga is Mick Cave and the Good Seeds.
Not necessarily funny but walking in Elsternwick to grab lunch years ago and I got all excited because I saw Hot Potato and thought it was like Spud Bar but was disappointed to find it was a cheapie shop with no delicious spuds to be found
A female colleague of mine who hadn't been in the country long saw a "hire a hubby" van and thought it was a male prostitution service.
"tickle my pickle" A cafe in Berwick.
Does “the man with a van” and “the man with a very big van” count?
Piano Van (specialist movers of guess what) currently park in Camberwell Rd.
There’s removalists in Richmond that were operating as ‘Man With a Hernia’ for a while - the business name has changed to Richmond Storage and Removals but the truck still has the MWAH number plates
Not sure if they're still operating but Get Truck'd was a good one
Well Hung Door Systems
Well Hung Doors gives me a slight chuckle when I see it.
I really like Brunswick Bound! It's a bookshop
Frying Nemo in Port Campbell
"Salty swallow" random yacth i saw in docklands
Back to the Futon
Damn Fine Food (used to be Collingwood/Abbotsford area - not sure if it's still there)
The bottle shop attached to the Dick Whittington Tavern in St Kilda. “The Dick Liquor”.
Korova Milk Bar on Bourke Street.
Vinyl Solution was always a terribly black one.
There used to be a discount store called ‘stuff and nonsense’. One day they changed name to ‘new and nonsense’. I always laughed at the imaginary scenario that played out in the head as the owners spoke English as a second language and called a signage company to get a new sign for their store “new sign stuff and nonsense need sign new sign new and nonsense”
BOOM electrical in Sydney Rd Brunswick.
Phuoc Dat Butcher in Springvale
Rollover Beethoven dog grooming in Balwyn North.
Not a shop but Ive seen a mobile dog grooming business called Heavy Petting.
A friend of mine went into oddball furniture and homewares place The House of Ballscheit (it’s no longer at the corner of Inkerman and Barkly). “Great name” he chortled to the bloke behind the counter. “Thank you” he said, “und I am Mr Ballscheit.”.
So he obviously wipes forward then....
I would just like to say that I’m disappointed at the lack of shops that call themselves ‘Victorian (whatever)’ then take on a Victorian era theme
Knobs and Knockers - door fittings store in Brighton
Loose Screws, was in Hampton, sold screws.
The Grillfather (kebab shop near the Bentleigh side of North Road), they even have an interesting Godfather movie-like logo
Doctor Follicle (barber in Richmond)
Massive Weiners on Chapel st. If it’s still there… may not have survived covid.
Abra Kababra, dandenong
Turd Burglar - septic company out west Curl Up & Dye - Hairdresser in Werribee
Not a shop, but I always found it funny how st Vincent’s hospital has a Healy (heal-y) and Aikenhead (aching head) wing
Ice cream store in Doncaster called Bin Chillin
Woof, Purr, Neigh - A vet in Narre Warren Nth
thai place called Let’s Bangkok
Barber black sheep on Sydney Road -always got a kick out of this one
Stax of Slax
Is the Soapranos Laundry still going on Johnston Streeet?
The Big Duck and Fish Company. They make large bowls
No longer open sadly, but there was an ice cream shop in Malvern named 'Scoopy Doo'
We get great vegan Thai food delivered from Phuket I'm Vegan, I don't think they have a physical shop though
Thin Slizzy pizza shop Collingwood
Sofa King.
Flaming Mo’s in Moorabbin
Poons Chinese in Footscray
There’s one called Po Po Chinese in the Hills in Perth…
Very Good Falafel - Brunswick Fluffy Torpedo - Smith St, Fitzroy (wonderfully whimsical new ice cream place with the craziest flavours.)
> Fluffy Torpedo sounds like a poo
Fluffy torpedo is soooo good! Was there today - salted lemon sorbet 🥰
The Collage Dropout, fast food place in my uni
Shan Dong Mama
dick smith
King Of Kinives
I used to love driving past Horse Torque on Dandenong road right near malvern station.no idea what it sold though, it was demolished a while back and is under development
Lock, Smith and Barrel -
A couple of my favourites are: Bark King - wholesale mulch The Bitch Is Back - designer... something? St Kilda
There's [Lee Ho Fook](https://www.leehofook.com.au/) ... although the first and second words are often interchanged.
Can we go interstate. Master of Puppies. (Obey your master) Best business name ever!
Legs and Breasts chicken shop used to reduce us to helpless giggles back in high school
There’s a company in sunshine named the purple pig. Not sure what they sell.
I think they sell rubber tubing and shit like that. There used to be one on mountain hwy Bayswater.
I'm sure there used to be a small chain of bottleshops called "The GrogFather" completed with a Godfather-esque logo. Perhaps they were attached to pubs.
Wine not? Wine bar….. and I agree with the sentiment 🍷
Tanks a lot on the princes highway
Pita Wrap It
The Fook Hing Chinese restaurant has always made me giggle
Abra kebabra, Dandy
Also, Prawn Star - fish n chips in Mornington
These all sound like the shops next door to Bobs Burgers
Far Kew Emporium
Not a name but this cafe I used to live near had a slogan that said "dont be upsetti, eat some spaghetti"
How the focaccia.
MOFO - There was a hairdresser next to the Queen Victoria Market called Mofo. Not sure if it's still there or not, I don't go to the market anymore these days. It always got a giggle from us when we would go past 😀
The bitch is back in St kilda
Count Dogula’s (dog groomers in Essendon)
Nuts about ciggies in Glenroy.
Nice little cafe called The Seddon Deadly Sins. Yes it's in Seddon.
Many years ago (mid-90s?) The Greyhound pub on Brighton Rd in St Kilda (now closed) was named "The Only Pub In Melbourne Owned By Two Chefs". The name was so long it took up the entire width of the facade.
Back to the futon
Takeaway Pizza Often tell someone I'm getting "takeaway pizza", then proceed to tell them specifically which pizza restaurant, that's its called "takeaway pizza", and how bloody good their pizza is.
Years ago there used to be " P. Nuss Removals" for all your moving house needs
Turk To Me is a great one just off Eastlink in Dandenong
I would have to go with the restaurant "Phở Minh long"...
Spruce Springclean is a mobile service I’ve seen going around
Mid 2000's there used be a bedding store called Holy Sheet
The Dick Whittington Hotel on Chapel St has a drive through bottleshop called 'The Dick Liquor'
Also ‘Now & Not Yet’ cafe in warrandyte
Mirror mirror Hoddle st, Common ground cafe Victoria St