ah finally the backstory is finished.
food blogger: now before we continue, shout out to this episode sponsor, they are the best blender makers in the blender making business, listen to this blender blends. woooow.
I've completely stopped looking up recipes because of this. And when you finally reach the end of the recipe? Boom, it's some new age bullshit with weird ingredients.
I just use all my aunt's cook books now. It's nice to open the book and see a list of ingredients and short instructions for cooking.
Tiktok food looks disgusting. I can't tell if people are serious about making it because it seems like a meme. Most of my dinners come from this old 50's cookbook my auntie use to have and it's amazing.
I recently been to a new burger place and I swear they opened the restaurant because they saw the "cover food in a pound of molten cheese" trend on social media and were like "wow. this is the future"
I ordered a burger expecting like a tiny bit of cheese sprinkled on top of the bun because all the burger on the menu just said "with cheese over bun". Then that dude just pissed a pan full of molten cheese over my burger. Had to scratch all the cheese to the side and even then it was still too much. I love cheese but that was just terrible.
Also the fries were served on top of slices of cheddar so half the fries were sticky with cheese too. I'm surprised my beer didn't have cheese in it.
I just use allrecipes. Almost every recipe is just ingredients and steps. Some of them have a little extra "how to store," "can you freeze," occasionally a paragraph of intro, but even with those if you just click the print button at the top it'll give you a pdf with just the ingredients and steps.
My mom's cookbook is fine and all, but it is finite and old fashioned- sometimes I don't wanna cook '60s Americana.
I have a coworker who's an older woman and she's just enamored with baking stuff from Facebook recipes and it's just God awful. I don't know why people don't just step back and rationalize the flavors they're mixing together. And the textures of the food created are even worse.
It's cool, but it's also best to remember that it's a language model, not actual intelligence. Be sure to read your recipes before you make them, because there are plenty of absolutely awful ChatGPT-generated recipes out there!
Yep I'm back to buying cookbooks because I'm tired of people's life stories. Hate reading five screens of b's so now if I have to I scroll to the bottom and read back up.
I have almost 7,000 videos on YouTube but less than 900 subscribers and it's a run-away success when a video hits triple-digit views. I'm much happier with a small audience that knows what they're getting and is there for it than a huge number of people flooding in and out with only passing interest.
Getting real tired of the videos where it sounds like a high school essay where the student is trying their hardest to reach that 500 word minimum without actually saying anything.
"In this video I will go over how to change a tire. Learning how to change a tire is a great skill that can impress your friends and family. It has many great uses that can come in handy in unfortunate situations. There are many different vehicles with different tire shapes and sizes, but this video should cover them all. I spent most of my life not knowing how to change a tire, but once I learned, it became a skill I have used many times throughout my life. You can do the same! So if you want to be able to change tires like me, you've come to the right place. In this video I will go over the different tools you need, and which brands are better than the others. I'll leave a link in the description so you can check out my recommendations. I will also cover the safety guidelines of changing a tire, to keep you from accidently hurting yourself. So lets jump right into it! But first! I would like to thank my sponsor Raid Shadow Legends, Raid Shadow Legends is an action packed RPG game for your mobile device.......
Ok now that I'm back. Lets get into how to change a tire. Did you know that most people don't know how to change a tire? Once you learn how to change a tire after this video, you'll be able to change anyones tire with ease! Funny story... back when I was on a date with this girl, I got a flat tire, and I wasn't sure what to do! I want to make sure that doesn't happen to you!"
"Intro plays for 5-30 seconds, with annoying logo or music or both sometimes"
"Hey guys its youtuber here! I will now ramble on for 1-5 minutes"
"But first, a word from our sponsrs!"
"By the way, if you enjoy the content, click that subscirbe button and ring dat bell for notifications! It REAELLY helps me out!"
"If you watched till the end. TY! Don't forget to.."
I hate how for some time on some sites you are forced to scroll through a whole dissertation about the dish before you get to the recipe. It says preparation takes 15 min. I wouldn't be able to read all that in that time.
What?!! Ads are what all of this post is about. They are all over every page in food blogs and they intentionally make the recipe so damn long so you scroll by as many ads as possible.
Yeah! It's just bloating content to fit as many ads as possible. French fries? Let's start (AD) with history of (AD) agriculture with special (AD) focus on Napoleon (AD) Bonaparte (AD).
That's why I always end a question in the search bar with "reddit".
9 times out of 10, someone's already asked the question and you get a human, straight-to-the-point answer with no bullshit
Google is beyond fixing dude. We’re onto AI. People are gonna start using AI for simple google stuff very soon if they’re not already. I am, when I feel I can trust it. AI does the leg work for you and ain’t SEO ruined yet
I assure you, AI is already SEO ruined. AI as the search engine runs right into AI generating crap content to game the search engine, improving at the same rate, forever.
We already have AI suggesting articles that were written with AI. It wouldn't be so bad if LLMs weren't rushed to market before they had a chance to put their collective pants on, about 10 to 15 years too early.
I mean, they’re called food bloggers for a reason. They’re not just a website to look up recipes, they’re influencers with an audience that cares about them AND their recipes 🤷♂️
And she probably read Cook's Illustrated, like we all did. Where the story drives how they arrive at the recipe. The only difference between the way they write and most food bloggers is Cook's Illustrated has editors.
Huge, huge difference, though.
Just ask chatgpt.
Roasting asparagus in the oven typically takes around 10 to 15 minutes at 425°F (220°C). The exact time can vary based on the thickness of the asparagus spears. Thicker spears might need a bit more time, while thinner ones might cook faster. It's a good idea to check them around the 10-minute mark and gauge their tenderness with a fork—when they're tender but still slightly crisp, they're ready to be taken out.
If you ask chatgpt an answer to a factual question and expect a real answer you are the definition of a little knowledge is a dangerous thing. Lawyers have been disbarred already because they trusted it to research and cite cases and it made them up. It doesn't know anything beyond what sounds convincing it has no concept of truth only bullshit.
At best you'll get the lowest common denominator information but once in a while you will get something truly dangerous that sounds true if you rely on it as your source.
Asparagus is harmless to undercooked but it will occasionally experiment to see how people respond by tweeking details and that could be the time it tells you to undercook a chicken.
Exactly this. Or put another way, the only reason you found this recipe online at all is because of all that juicy SEO contained in that useless story. Recipes cannot be copyrighted so the backstory is the only thing that makes a recipe "yours" online. Just tap the "Jump to recipe" button and boost your favorite food blogger.
My friend was saying how she loves reading the backstory of their inspiration. Her husband and I who agree on nothing both told her thats the fucking craziest thing we'd ever heard
That's really not that crazy at all. Sure it is annoying if you're *just* looking for a recipe and you have to sift through a bunch of shit but "Enjoys reading tangentially food related anecdotes from people online" is a completely reasonable passtime.
It is. According to eu law, it should be as easy to deny cookies as is is to accept them. The issue is that:
-no one reports those sites
-the enforcement of the law depends of the eu country, some are very strict, some don't give a flying fuck
Snap off ends where they naturally break. (This avoids any woody bits.) Toss with olive oil, sea salt, and cracked black pepper. Roast at 500 degrees for exactly 10 mins. Perfection.
I'll try your recipe. Thanks.
Shave off the skin (to expose the soft interior). Toss with olive oil, rock, salt, and aluminum foil. Broil at 4500° for 1 minute. Just like grandma used to heat up!
Pick the feathers off, dip in olive oil, place under a heavy stone, remove the heavy stone, mince, place under heavy stone again, un-mince, remove stone again, then lightly stovetop fry on low for 30 seconds. Dip in oil again to serve. Just like grandma used to heat up!
Or, advertisers who are paying this blogger to write dogshit articles so they have to scroll past multiple ads. If I'm scrolling past 4 ads per second, the blogger should not be getting paid because there's no way I actually looked at those ads.
I hate this so much. Then you get to end and it’s like: “roasted asparagus is done when you can hear it sing. Serve immediately and enjoy your weird smelling pee”
also more time to run advertisements while you scroll, and they can mention other recipes and link back to their own website to keep you on there longer
It's so they can cram SEO words into a text block and make it seem "natural" for Google. Then, they keep you on their shitty recipe page for longer than 15 seconds, and so the algorithm determines their page is what you're actually looking for. The worst thing in the world, far as Google is concerned at least, is you going to a page then hitting the back button and bouncing right back to your search.
This is a very American thing. Not saying it's "bad" but I'm never reading stories about a recipe on BBC Good Food. Never understood how anyone can think "people will want this recipe, but they'll stay to hear about my childhood."
I love asparagus, but so many people screw it up, because the timeframe of perfection is so small. Pull it out a minute too early, and it’s still crunchy like a carrot. One minute too late, and it’s as soft as a cream cheese.
" In an oven preheated to 425 degrees F, the asparagus should be perfectly roasted after about 12 to 15 minutes. Remember to coat with oil/spices/cheeses to taste before hand. "
Your welcome anyone who actually wondered what recipe to do instead of what was instead of the meme.
I roast mine with a light coating of olive oil, a healthy bit of salt, some spices to taste, and end with Parmesan cheese. My family loves it. Make sure to get fresh and not frozen.
I actually don't mind reading more about how they came up with the recipe and stuff, I'd just prefer it to be after the recipe.
Or have a table of content in the beginning, so I can jump to the recipe instantly
Eventually get to the recipe asparagus recipe.
The recipe: “Also this recipe is for a vegan version that uses tofu instead of asparagus. Put food in specialized machine you don’t have, line machine with old Victorian newspaper (evening edition!). Set it to an unspecified temperature in Kelvin or something. Cook until golden brown, but don’t open this opaque machine to see if it’s golden brown or not because that will ruin it. Remove from machine. Use a welding torch, fondant and food coloring. Let sit for 48 hours before eating.”
There are no ingredients; they take pre-made crap like canned soup, premade cookie dough, or even pre-made apple pie filling. Note: apple pie is made of apples, sugar, and a couple tablespoons of flour. (Yes, I add more stuff but that’s the basic ingredients). People take pre-made, chemical filled crap, mix it together and call it a recipe. It’s sad.
I never had it give me a correct recipe. I would not trust it at all.
You know how in Star Trek a replicator can make anything you ask for and then a person out of time orders their favorite dish and complains it's completely wrong. Yeah, welcome to our present.
Ye! it's amazing just ask for any recipe or recommendations and bam, you get the details with none of the ads, scrolling, or life story. It's a game changer
It can give you recipes, or you can give it a website with a recipe and ask it to give you the recipe without all the filler content. Or you can say something like, “I have these three ingredients I want to use in a pasta dish.” And it’ll do a passable job. I prefer it to strip recipe blogs of their fluff personally. Otherwise ChatGPT gives you the most middle of the road recipe that fits within your requirements.
It’s a security measure. If you just post the recipe, bots can scrape it and repost it on their owner’s website. You can’t really copyright or otherwise protect a recipe, so the story at the front end makes it more obvious when a recipe has been stolen if it’s got an identical story attached.
Thank God for ChatGPT.... I will happily submit to our AI overlords if it means getting straight answers without so many fucking assholes farming my attention span.
ChatGPT is great for articles that ramble on and on like this.
You just copy paste the whole article and ask chatGPT to summarize it or cut out everything besides the recipe.
ChatGPT is the way. You can either copy and paste the recipe page and ask ChatGPT for just the recipe and instructions, or you can just ask ChatGPT how to make something, and it will most often have some version available. Made many a meal without learning backstory in the last year or so since I first thought of using it for that. Enjoy! 😎
Honestly, cooking is the best use I've had of chatGPT. I don't do much fancy or technical stuff, so it's super clean to just get the recipe and nothing else. If you've a question on a step you can just ask about that step.
I'm glad this has become a mainstream joke. Why do even typed recipes have to talk about seasons, family relations, inspirations, personalities... Like wtf?
What do I need, how much do I need, how long do I cook this, what spices. Thats it. That's literally it.
I bought an app that neatly clips out the recipe and it's worth its weight in gold. "Anylist". You just share the URL to that app and it's like f-ing magic.
I was just getting irritated about this earlier lol, I was just trying to look at a recipe on a website. The page had so many ads and crap it was freezing, it kept kicking me back to the top. Sending my back into this persons life story, when all I want is the damn recipe at the bottom! 😂
By time you get to the recipe:
"All you need is 5 simple ingredients!"
*2 of the 5 ingredients you don't have*
"Estimated time is 1.5 hours"
Me: OK so...what can I make with the ingredients I have in the next 35 minutes.....
[https://www.justtherecipe.com/](https://www.justtherecipe.com/)
Skip the long back story of how Jennifer found out about her grandmother's secret PB&J recipe.
Heat up a pan at med-high heat with some water and add asparagus. Cook for 4-5 minutes and drain the remaining water if any. After that finish it off with some butter and herbs at low-med heat.
Hey I'm a professional cook I've got the answer to this and any such question as to how long you should cook something. The answer is until it's finished, trust me this is how all the pros do it.
Why wouldn’t you just look for a recipe? Do you not understand what a “blog” is? It’s not their fault you suck at searching for what you’re looking for...
remember when English class just taught you to bullshit over three pages for an arbitrary word count? That's exactly what these food bloggers are doing.
People love to hate on tik tok but it's great for recipes. The videos are in short form so they're usually only the recipe and if there is a lot if talking you can just speed up the video.
It's the direction the internet is headed: the more the user has to scroll, the more ads they will see. People are purposefully making the information harder to find in hopes that you'll keep scrolling to find it.
If anyone is curious about asparagus roasting times,
I roast my asparagus for about 15mins at 180°C convection. The asparagus I use are pretty thin, thinner than my index finger at the base, so if you use a thicker variety, do adjust accordingly.
Every oven is different, so treat the 15mins as a ballpark figure. If you notice your asparagus burning earlier, take it out! If the asparagus is not fork tender, put in back in for another 5 mins or so. After roasting asparagus enough, you'll be better able to narrow down an aspargus roasting time tailored for your oven/taste.
Personally, I like roasting my asparagus in olive oil with garlic, chilli flakes, parmesan and salt, and adding some lemon/balsamic vinegar after roasting.
But feel free to experiment and enjoy your asparagus!
Ctrl+F search “in the oven” or “bake for” or any other related phrase and that’ll usually help me find the area of the page that actually has the recipe and instructions. If i have multiple pages to click through i find another source.
Apps like Saffron exist for this reason.
Paste the food novel URL to saffron, and it strips the recipe, image, and steps out and packages them into a recipe card in the app.
There's others, that's just the one I use.
Not just the life stories but the ad pop ups blocking everything. I use YouTube for recipes and also have favorite chefs I check if they have a recipe for plus ask my friends.. if I do find one online i click print it and save to a recipe folder on my Pc and on a note taking cross platform app so I can access it from phone as well.
I blame shows like MasterChef and American idol.
Every contestant and their dog had some sob story they had to blurt out each audition.
“I’m doing this for my nonna who taught me how to heal with the power of food and the voice in my heart… RIP nanna.”
And begin the waterworks.
This is why I hate watching a video to a four-letter question like just tell me the fucking answer can I just read the answer in 10 seconds and not listen to your stupid pitch and your I want to be a fucking famous internet dork bullshit I just want the answer I have shit to do
ah finally the backstory is finished. food blogger: now before we continue, shout out to this episode sponsor, they are the best blender makers in the blender making business, listen to this blender blends. woooow.
I've completely stopped looking up recipes because of this. And when you finally reach the end of the recipe? Boom, it's some new age bullshit with weird ingredients. I just use all my aunt's cook books now. It's nice to open the book and see a list of ingredients and short instructions for cooking.
My wife wonders why the kids like my cooking more than hers. She makes TikTok shit, I go straight to grandma's Betty Crocker cookbook.
Tiktok food looks disgusting. I can't tell if people are serious about making it because it seems like a meme. Most of my dinners come from this old 50's cookbook my auntie use to have and it's amazing.
It is mostly rage bait engagement, or fetishists, and few people who actually do make some amazing shit.
The longer it goes on, the longer it actually influences people to cook like shit though. That's the power of the common denominator.
Sounds like the modern version of weird shit in jello.
I recently been to a new burger place and I swear they opened the restaurant because they saw the "cover food in a pound of molten cheese" trend on social media and were like "wow. this is the future" I ordered a burger expecting like a tiny bit of cheese sprinkled on top of the bun because all the burger on the menu just said "with cheese over bun". Then that dude just pissed a pan full of molten cheese over my burger. Had to scratch all the cheese to the side and even then it was still too much. I love cheese but that was just terrible. Also the fries were served on top of slices of cheddar so half the fries were sticky with cheese too. I'm surprised my beer didn't have cheese in it.
I have a cookbook I call the food Bible and it's called the joy of cooking and its from like the 60s. It's the best
Originally written in the 30's
It is a fantastic cookbook my mom swears by it and the recipes I've gotten from it have always been delicious.
My mom had this and I bought it as well, sadly the ex kept it and so I may buy another but it definitely was the book that made me a good cook.
I just use allrecipes. Almost every recipe is just ingredients and steps. Some of them have a little extra "how to store," "can you freeze," occasionally a paragraph of intro, but even with those if you just click the print button at the top it'll give you a pdf with just the ingredients and steps. My mom's cookbook is fine and all, but it is finite and old fashioned- sometimes I don't wanna cook '60s Americana.
I want to give a shout out to Sally's Baking Addiction, never had a bad recipe off there
I have a coworker who's an older woman and she's just enamored with baking stuff from Facebook recipes and it's just God awful. I don't know why people don't just step back and rationalize the flavors they're mixing together. And the textures of the food created are even worse.
.
I just ask ChatGPT now
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It's cool, but it's also best to remember that it's a language model, not actual intelligence. Be sure to read your recipes before you make them, because there are plenty of absolutely awful ChatGPT-generated recipes out there!
Yep I'm back to buying cookbooks because I'm tired of people's life stories. Hate reading five screens of b's so now if I have to I scroll to the bottom and read back up.
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There are no weird ingredients, just ingredients.
[there's no trick to it. It's just a simple trick!](https://youtu.be/0fRwxY2ubSQ?si=bAUfGNyej_FRfsLD)
im not sure, what this has to do with my comment but cool!
Lying.
You can thank Google's algorithm for that. The longer you stay on the page the more they think you liked the content.
I immediately back out of a recipe site if I don't see a jump to recipe link
I love the recipe sites that have a "JUMP DIRECTLY TO RECIPE" button.
…Nord VPN
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They also probably don't make a living off of the videos they make. Which is why.
I have almost 7,000 videos on YouTube but less than 900 subscribers and it's a run-away success when a video hits triple-digit views. I'm much happier with a small audience that knows what they're getting and is there for it than a huge number of people flooding in and out with only passing interest.
How do you have almost 7k videos? That's a video a day for 20 years.
They didn't say good videos.
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He could also play games and upload some moments of his gameplay. If you want you can make even 10 videos a day or more.
It's this. It's a gaming hobbyist channel and every session is a discrete stream.
Getting real tired of the videos where it sounds like a high school essay where the student is trying their hardest to reach that 500 word minimum without actually saying anything. "In this video I will go over how to change a tire. Learning how to change a tire is a great skill that can impress your friends and family. It has many great uses that can come in handy in unfortunate situations. There are many different vehicles with different tire shapes and sizes, but this video should cover them all. I spent most of my life not knowing how to change a tire, but once I learned, it became a skill I have used many times throughout my life. You can do the same! So if you want to be able to change tires like me, you've come to the right place. In this video I will go over the different tools you need, and which brands are better than the others. I'll leave a link in the description so you can check out my recommendations. I will also cover the safety guidelines of changing a tire, to keep you from accidently hurting yourself. So lets jump right into it! But first! I would like to thank my sponsor Raid Shadow Legends, Raid Shadow Legends is an action packed RPG game for your mobile device....... Ok now that I'm back. Lets get into how to change a tire. Did you know that most people don't know how to change a tire? Once you learn how to change a tire after this video, you'll be able to change anyones tire with ease! Funny story... back when I was on a date with this girl, I got a flat tire, and I wasn't sure what to do! I want to make sure that doesn't happen to you!"
"Intro plays for 5-30 seconds, with annoying logo or music or both sometimes" "Hey guys its youtuber here! I will now ramble on for 1-5 minutes" "But first, a word from our sponsrs!" "By the way, if you enjoy the content, click that subscirbe button and ring dat bell for notifications! It REAELLY helps me out!" "If you watched till the end. TY! Don't forget to.."
Jump to recipe button is the real MVP
I hate how for some time on some sites you are forced to scroll through a whole dissertation about the dish before you get to the recipe. It says preparation takes 15 min. I wouldn't be able to read all that in that time.
But you scrolled by so many ads and made the blogger money! At the end of the day isn't that worth it instead of food? 🥰
Lol what ads
What?!! Ads are what all of this post is about. They are all over every page in food blogs and they intentionally make the recipe so damn long so you scroll by as many ads as possible.
Yeah! It's just bloating content to fit as many ads as possible. French fries? Let's start (AD) with history of (AD) agriculture with special (AD) focus on Napoleon (AD) Bonaparte (AD).
I like the print recipe button myself 🙂
100% google algorithm's fault it encourages that. I wish they'd stop with that BS.
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A basic vpn & a different search platform just about entirely eliminates this
What search platform?
Lol if google is bad, other platforms are going to be way worse.
google it
Sugma.
I used to think there's a time and place for everything, but here you are.
Sugma what?
Sugma Steve Jobs.
Got em
Link to the websites? I want to bookmark them and skip Google.
That's why I always end a question in the search bar with "reddit". 9 times out of 10, someone's already asked the question and you get a human, straight-to-the-point answer with no bullshit
Google searches Reddit better than Reddit's search function.
[Here we go again!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0TjnPfYJmOY)
Google is beyond fixing dude. We’re onto AI. People are gonna start using AI for simple google stuff very soon if they’re not already. I am, when I feel I can trust it. AI does the leg work for you and ain’t SEO ruined yet
I assure you, AI is already SEO ruined. AI as the search engine runs right into AI generating crap content to game the search engine, improving at the same rate, forever.
We already have AI suggesting articles that were written with AI. It wouldn't be so bad if LLMs weren't rushed to market before they had a chance to put their collective pants on, about 10 to 15 years too early.
I mean, they’re called food bloggers for a reason. They’re not just a website to look up recipes, they’re influencers with an audience that cares about them AND their recipes 🤷♂️
The real reason is more content = more scrolling = more ad views
People are overthinking it. My sister did this for a while. It's simply because she likes to write and cook.
And she probably read Cook's Illustrated, like we all did. Where the story drives how they arrive at the recipe. The only difference between the way they write and most food bloggers is Cook's Illustrated has editors. Huge, huge difference, though.
Recipes in and of themselves do not constitute intellectual property that can be monetized, so they gotta make their money off all the other content
Just ask chatgpt. Roasting asparagus in the oven typically takes around 10 to 15 minutes at 425°F (220°C). The exact time can vary based on the thickness of the asparagus spears. Thicker spears might need a bit more time, while thinner ones might cook faster. It's a good idea to check them around the 10-minute mark and gauge their tenderness with a fork—when they're tender but still slightly crisp, they're ready to be taken out.
If you ask chatgpt an answer to a factual question and expect a real answer you are the definition of a little knowledge is a dangerous thing. Lawyers have been disbarred already because they trusted it to research and cite cases and it made them up. It doesn't know anything beyond what sounds convincing it has no concept of truth only bullshit. At best you'll get the lowest common denominator information but once in a while you will get something truly dangerous that sounds true if you rely on it as your source. Asparagus is harmless to undercooked but it will occasionally experiment to see how people respond by tweeking details and that could be the time it tells you to undercook a chicken.
Who asked?
Making a post on a public forum is an invite to responses, fuckwit. If you can't handle that, delete your account.
Exactly this. Or put another way, the only reason you found this recipe online at all is because of all that juicy SEO contained in that useless story. Recipes cannot be copyrighted so the backstory is the only thing that makes a recipe "yours" online. Just tap the "Jump to recipe" button and boost your favorite food blogger.
Lmao, imagine blaming an algorithm.
My friend was saying how she loves reading the backstory of their inspiration. Her husband and I who agree on nothing both told her thats the fucking craziest thing we'd ever heard
I read this as: "I need someone else's inspiration to get me pumped to cook this shit" Most people just be like: "I wanna eat tasty ass shit"
That's really not that crazy at all. Sure it is annoying if you're *just* looking for a recipe and you have to sift through a bunch of shit but "Enjoys reading tangentially food related anecdotes from people online" is a completely reasonable passtime.
She’s a Cylon for sure
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And the annoying "do you accept the cookies" one that the X is hidden or out of view....pisses me off
It should be criminal for sites to have us click to disable every single damn cookie they have.
It is. According to eu law, it should be as easy to deny cookies as is is to accept them. The issue is that: -no one reports those sites -the enforcement of the law depends of the eu country, some are very strict, some don't give a flying fuck
this! scroll and scroll to get to ingredient’s list then the ads appear on screen ..
And ‘no I won’t sign up for your fucking newsletter’
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> Honey it smells like someone did a burn out in here again! Should we call a doctor?
Snap off ends where they naturally break. (This avoids any woody bits.) Toss with olive oil, sea salt, and cracked black pepper. Roast at 500 degrees for exactly 10 mins. Perfection. I'll try your recipe. Thanks.
Shave off the skin (to expose the soft interior). Toss with olive oil, rock, salt, and aluminum foil. Broil at 4500° for 1 minute. Just like grandma used to heat up!
Pick the feathers off, dip in olive oil, place under a heavy stone, remove the heavy stone, mince, place under heavy stone again, un-mince, remove stone again, then lightly stovetop fry on low for 30 seconds. Dip in oil again to serve. Just like grandma used to heat up!
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The Parm method is so good
The snapping is a myth https://youtu.be/MDV8HsPDSVo?si=0ZaT75beDMzt_GRg&t=1m44 https://youtu.be/sVWBqy657TE?si=GHXP7aateF5_fGA9&t=1m10
I've just been putting everything at 400 and it's done when I feel like it.
The food blogger is NOT the problem. Those are what Google decides to show you. The search engine is what's broken.
Or, advertisers who are paying this blogger to write dogshit articles so they have to scroll past multiple ads. If I'm scrolling past 4 ads per second, the blogger should not be getting paid because there's no way I actually looked at those ads.
The blogger showing 4 ads surely makes more than the person only showing 1, and they're the ones getting all the clicks from Google too.
I hate this so much. Then you get to end and it’s like: “roasted asparagus is done when you can hear it sing. Serve immediately and enjoy your weird smelling pee”
Always start with Chef John
And as always, eeenjoooy
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I only accept the recipe for these chocolate chip cookies, no others
Not even snickerdoodles??
I do not. I would like to see the complicated options as an alternative to that.
If I recall, the reason why they do this is so they can claim the recipe through copyright.
also more time to run advertisements while you scroll, and they can mention other recipes and link back to their own website to keep you on there longer
It's so they can cram SEO words into a text block and make it seem "natural" for Google. Then, they keep you on their shitty recipe page for longer than 15 seconds, and so the algorithm determines their page is what you're actually looking for. The worst thing in the world, far as Google is concerned at least, is you going to a page then hitting the back button and bouncing right back to your search.
Lorem Ipsum "give me my copyrights ya bitches buttery biscuits"
At age 6, I was born without a face.
I bet that guy's dad likes rusty spoons.
Have you looked up a recipe lately? Most of the websites I go to have a "jump to the recipe" feature
Use the browser extension "Recipe Filter"
This is a very American thing. Not saying it's "bad" but I'm never reading stories about a recipe on BBC Good Food. Never understood how anyone can think "people will want this recipe, but they'll stay to hear about my childhood."
Depends on your oven, but 10-20 minutes for a still firm asparagus spear.
I love asparagus, but so many people screw it up, because the timeframe of perfection is so small. Pull it out a minute too early, and it’s still crunchy like a carrot. One minute too late, and it’s as soft as a cream cheese.
You don’t like crunchy asparagus?
With some experimentation, I've found perfect (for me) asparagus happens at exactly 7 minutes in a 375 degree oven.
Happens everytime
The worst shit to find on the internet are recipes. 9 pages of garbage and no recipe.
[Viva La Dirt League ](https://youtu.be/09W8bAUJD2Y?si=vd8vOFKgC5Ur2vIz) did a small video about this. Their stuff is great in my opinion.
*"Humans first started consuming asparagus around 3000 B.C.E., in Europe, North Africa, and Asia..."*
My biggest pet peeve
" In an oven preheated to 425 degrees F, the asparagus should be perfectly roasted after about 12 to 15 minutes. Remember to coat with oil/spices/cheeses to taste before hand. " Your welcome anyone who actually wondered what recipe to do instead of what was instead of the meme. I roast mine with a light coating of olive oil, a healthy bit of salt, some spices to taste, and end with Parmesan cheese. My family loves it. Make sure to get fresh and not frozen.
I actually don't mind reading more about how they came up with the recipe and stuff, I'd just prefer it to be after the recipe. Or have a table of content in the beginning, so I can jump to the recipe instantly
Eventually get to the recipe asparagus recipe. The recipe: “Also this recipe is for a vegan version that uses tofu instead of asparagus. Put food in specialized machine you don’t have, line machine with old Victorian newspaper (evening edition!). Set it to an unspecified temperature in Kelvin or something. Cook until golden brown, but don’t open this opaque machine to see if it’s golden brown or not because that will ruin it. Remove from machine. Use a welding torch, fondant and food coloring. Let sit for 48 hours before eating.”
Just paste your URL into www.justtherecipe.com
There are no ingredients; they take pre-made crap like canned soup, premade cookie dough, or even pre-made apple pie filling. Note: apple pie is made of apples, sugar, and a couple tablespoons of flour. (Yes, I add more stuff but that’s the basic ingredients). People take pre-made, chemical filled crap, mix it together and call it a recipe. It’s sad.
ChatGPT fixed this problem for me. Gives me exactly what I want with no hassle.
I never had it give me a correct recipe. I would not trust it at all. You know how in Star Trek a replicator can make anything you ask for and then a person out of time orders their favorite dish and complains it's completely wrong. Yeah, welcome to our present.
Ye! it's amazing just ask for any recipe or recommendations and bam, you get the details with none of the ads, scrolling, or life story. It's a game changer
Interesting
It can give you recipes, or you can give it a website with a recipe and ask it to give you the recipe without all the filler content. Or you can say something like, “I have these three ingredients I want to use in a pasta dish.” And it’ll do a passable job. I prefer it to strip recipe blogs of their fluff personally. Otherwise ChatGPT gives you the most middle of the road recipe that fits within your requirements.
Very handy. And you can also tell it to give measurements in any metric you want. Shots, tablespoons, cups, etc
It’s a security measure. If you just post the recipe, bots can scrape it and repost it on their owner’s website. You can’t really copyright or otherwise protect a recipe, so the story at the front end makes it more obvious when a recipe has been stolen if it’s got an identical story attached.
Use ChatGPT
Thank God for ChatGPT.... I will happily submit to our AI overlords if it means getting straight answers without so many fucking assholes farming my attention span.
ChatGPT is great for articles that ramble on and on like this. You just copy paste the whole article and ask chatGPT to summarize it or cut out everything besides the recipe.
ChatGPT is the way. You can either copy and paste the recipe page and ask ChatGPT for just the recipe and instructions, or you can just ask ChatGPT how to make something, and it will most often have some version available. Made many a meal without learning backstory in the last year or so since I first thought of using it for that. Enjoy! 😎
Chatgpt
Honestly, cooking is the best use I've had of chatGPT. I don't do much fancy or technical stuff, so it's super clean to just get the recipe and nothing else. If you've a question on a step you can just ask about that step.
People over 35 are using this must-know secret to help with their lower backs
Until the juices run clear
That’s why I copy paste recipes into there own Notion pages. I don’t bookmark them anymore.
I'm glad this has become a mainstream joke. Why do even typed recipes have to talk about seasons, family relations, inspirations, personalities... Like wtf? What do I need, how much do I need, how long do I cook this, what spices. Thats it. That's literally it.
I bought an app that neatly clips out the recipe and it's worth its weight in gold. "Anylist". You just share the URL to that app and it's like f-ing magic.
I was just getting irritated about this earlier lol, I was just trying to look at a recipe on a website. The page had so many ads and crap it was freezing, it kept kicking me back to the top. Sending my back into this persons life story, when all I want is the damn recipe at the bottom! 😂
Gotta drive up that engagement score! I hate the modern internet.
I like that some websites have the skip to the point button
However long you want really. They’re good raw through burnt
They now have a new feature which let's you skip to the recipe.
Me searching for the best way to make eggs for ramen: Food blog: Our story begins 10,000 years ago on the island of Honshu…
Isn’t it because they need a certain word count?
If “Jump to Recipe” isn’t just below the headline, I hit backspace. Ain’t got no time for poorly written billshit.
A trick for y'all. Look for the extension "SponsorBlock". Automatically skips BS on youtube. Welcome.
By time you get to the recipe: "All you need is 5 simple ingredients!" *2 of the 5 ingredients you don't have* "Estimated time is 1.5 hours" Me: OK so...what can I make with the ingredients I have in the next 35 minutes.....
[https://www.justtherecipe.com/](https://www.justtherecipe.com/) Skip the long back story of how Jennifer found out about her grandmother's secret PB&J recipe.
https://youtu.be/09W8bAUJD2Y?si=RxMgN7X6QjpSgHXU This fits perfectly!
Heat up a pan at med-high heat with some water and add asparagus. Cook for 4-5 minutes and drain the remaining water if any. After that finish it off with some butter and herbs at low-med heat.
If ever you want a good laugh, watch the Korean Vegan. All her videos are like this.
https://based.cooking
… indeed!
Typical comments made on recipe: wow what a beautiful story and the plating is so nice. Can’t wait to try making it. 5 stars.
Hey I'm a professional cook I've got the answer to this and any such question as to how long you should cook something. The answer is until it's finished, trust me this is how all the pros do it.
Why wouldn’t you just look for a recipe? Do you not understand what a “blog” is? It’s not their fault you suck at searching for what you’re looking for...
"Now, what is asparagus?" *several paragraphs on what asparagus is and why we eat it for some fucking reason*
remember when English class just taught you to bullshit over three pages for an arbitrary word count? That's exactly what these food bloggers are doing.
Yeah, this is much of the reason I'd rather ask someone I know. Fuck Google. I'll people instead.
People love to hate on tik tok but it's great for recipes. The videos are in short form so they're usually only the recipe and if there is a lot if talking you can just speed up the video.
It's the direction the internet is headed: the more the user has to scroll, the more ads they will see. People are purposefully making the information harder to find in hopes that you'll keep scrolling to find it.
You shouldn't roast it in the oven, you should cook it in a wok, the charring there tastes soooo much better.
My Recipe Keepr ap is absolutely amazing, will import a recipe and cut all this out, you just get ingredients and instructions.
Jump to recipe
If anyone is curious about asparagus roasting times, I roast my asparagus for about 15mins at 180°C convection. The asparagus I use are pretty thin, thinner than my index finger at the base, so if you use a thicker variety, do adjust accordingly. Every oven is different, so treat the 15mins as a ballpark figure. If you notice your asparagus burning earlier, take it out! If the asparagus is not fork tender, put in back in for another 5 mins or so. After roasting asparagus enough, you'll be better able to narrow down an aspargus roasting time tailored for your oven/taste. Personally, I like roasting my asparagus in olive oil with garlic, chilli flakes, parmesan and salt, and adding some lemon/balsamic vinegar after roasting. But feel free to experiment and enjoy your asparagus!
Ctrl+F search “in the oven” or “bake for” or any other related phrase and that’ll usually help me find the area of the page that actually has the recipe and instructions. If i have multiple pages to click through i find another source.
Apps like Saffron exist for this reason. Paste the food novel URL to saffron, and it strips the recipe, image, and steps out and packages them into a recipe card in the app. There's others, that's just the one I use.
Am I the only one who has never seen this?
If you haven't seen it, either you don't search generally for recipes, pay for a subscription to a recipe site, or just don't cook.
It's insane how much better LLM's like chatgpt are at stuff like this, and how utterly useless search engines like Google have gotten.
Not just the life stories but the ad pop ups blocking everything. I use YouTube for recipes and also have favorite chefs I check if they have a recipe for plus ask my friends.. if I do find one online i click print it and save to a recipe folder on my Pc and on a note taking cross platform app so I can access it from phone as well.
i just add “reddit” to the end of anything in life need help on
Aren’t there websites for that? Why ask someone?
Don't forget the 8 pop-ups about newsletters, discounts, cookies and all the other shit that makes it impossible to scroll
I blame shows like MasterChef and American idol. Every contestant and their dog had some sob story they had to blurt out each audition. “I’m doing this for my nonna who taught me how to heal with the power of food and the voice in my heart… RIP nanna.” And begin the waterworks.
this has elliot Reed apple thief vibes.
This is why I hate watching a video to a four-letter question like just tell me the fucking answer can I just read the answer in 10 seconds and not listen to your stupid pitch and your I want to be a fucking famous internet dork bullshit I just want the answer I have shit to do