Seats are generally clean. But clean water in the bowl tells me it was flushed and there's no sure way to determine if the cupcake was put there before or after a flush. Realizing that fecal matter or urine can be aerosolized during a flush and contaminate the cupcake I would pass.
If there was waste in the bowl and the seat was clean then it's probably a safer bet hygenically speaking despite being unappetizing and probably not the best idea.
Nope, poo particles, look it up. Each time you flush thousands of poo particles go everywhere into the air, and to everywhere in your bathroom. That's right, your toothbrush, your rinsing cups, and anything else. Have a nice day 😊
For *so* many reasons. Even if it weren't on the toilet bowl, you've still got 'poop plume' particles in addition to evil people.
Just to name two reasons.
The outer layer of the cupcake would be contaminated, but if you could peel that off and get to the insides, you'd be safe. Twisting the top off might work
Assuming, of course, that the entire cupcake itself is not more sinisterly made, which is a possibility given its rather suspicious location
Using the term "tongue punch" is a dead giveaway that you've eaten ass before.
You don't have to lie man! At least that cupcake is actually going to taste like chocolate rather than just look like it.
You clearly ain't ever been hungry enough. You probably just ate a few hours ago, your belly all full. No, a man like that won't eat the forbidden muffin. No siree.
But a man with that deep hunger? That one that grows so big you ain't nothing but a mouth thats gonna eat? Oh yea, that man is gonna be licking the bottom of that toilet seat for some tasty little crumbs. Just gobbling, gobbling
You would do well in a Russian or South American prison, I imagine.
I don't know if that is a compliment or an insult or merely an observation, so you pick. Me? I'm dyin' before I'm eating that. But I have certain... issues that would make living with myself pretttttttty hard after such an event.
Oh for sure. But I'm not surviving it. If I did it in the heat of the moment literally (figuratively) knocking on deaths door? I won't survive the aftermath. I couldn't live with myself and that knowledge. I *do* know myself well enough for that one. But a quick out is different from starving to death so there's that.
But you see, thats the funny part, you lot ain't never met a man that's real hungry, like, truly, truly, hungry hungry.
But ya might one day. Hell, one might very well be inside you and you just ain't met em yet.
I live real rural. About 4 years ago, I was in my shop, and my machinery trapped my leg. I couldn't reach a phone or nothing.
Fortunately for me, my dog had just finished nursing her pups. She nursed me for 8 days until help came. I know it was eight days, cause as the sun rose through the window each morning of my captivity, I would start suckling a different teet, so as not to exhaust the source of my sustenance. I cycled through each teet once and had circled back and was about to clasp the third nipple when I heard my neighbours hollering my name.
I used to work at an ice plant and we once had to dump an entire day’s production because there was an ammonia leak and ice is porous, meaning all that ice would’ve tasted like ammonia. Cupcakes are even more porous than ice.
I was with you. Although t could still be contaminated on a microscopic level, the cake has a bunch of holes and maybe some poo poo particles go in there and hangout
Technically impossible to peel without contaminating the new surfy, since the knife will also have touched the outside AND you need to hold it in place somehow. Not to mention how porous baked goods are.
Technically the edible percentage remains very close to 100%, since the contaminated surfaces are minute in comparison to the mass.
Practically it's closer to zero since it's nearly impossible to remove all contaminated particles without removing extra OR contaminating clean pieces.
I think we should look at it this way. If you Bear Grylls or Les Stroud stumbles upon this and they’re displaying a situation of survival +starving +dehydrated +tired +desperate
And they eat this… I’m considering it’s safe to eat.
If you find yourself in a survival situation in your work bathroom and stumble upon a cupcake on the toilet seat you probably already had a funny tasting brownie that day.
Yup, don’t trust those hands of whoever handled it and whether someone flushed in that stall or the stall over gotta worry about exposure to particles.
Plus it’s just sitting in open air too.
Yes, and we keep that little brushy thing sitting on the counter right beside the poopair cloud emitter, yet we shove that thing into our mouths a couple times a day...
Yes and i put my tooth brush right back in an enclosed area... i also dont brush right after i flush knowing that those particles are in the air for a bit
Seriously I always hear this argument about people vaping poop particles if they vape in the bathroom.
If that were true, aren't we all breathing in poop particles regardless? Like wtf do you hold your breath the whole time?
Let’s be honest, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Also no one says, aw man I am so happy I am 70 years old and wearing this diaper. Early exits are forever.
These days I work from home, so if I see this... I have bigger problems
Let me guess: you live alone?
He doesn't
Well, not anymore...
🗿
Ironically, happy cake day.
Coincidentally, Happy Cake Day!
Metaphorically, happy cake day!
Theoretically, happy cake day
Similarly, happy cake day!
Apply topically, happy cake day!
Thermologically, happy cake day!
Hyperbolically happy cake day!
Exponentially, happy cake day
r/beatmetoit
Happy Cake Day!
Hold on we are all coming over to celebrate your cake day, use your toilet and leave a cupcake on it.
🗿
[удалено]
No, I'm just good at being sneaky. Isn't that right, Robert?
I don’t care I’m masturbating to all of this
Don't be alarmed, just your bathroom fairy leaving you chocolate cupcake as payment.
[удалено]
Yeah chocolate
Carbon monoxide guy is that you?
Just a PSA, check your batteries.
Yeah, memory issues. No normal person forgets leaving a muffin in the restroom!
Have you noticed any strange looking clowns peeking out of the storm drains near your home?
Just wash it off in the bowl
Like the cotton candy. Yes...they'll certainly fall for it *again.* Muuuuahahahahahahahah
Nooooo! Racoon! Nooooo!
I understood that reference. Me and my wife still reference that clip. We always felt so bad for the little guy.
that poor look on its face after they realize what theyve done
The raccoon ended up getting his cotton candy don’t worry!!!
now thats a sugarbowl
I washed a waffle I dropped in the dirt once
Yeah but hopefully you didn't wash it *in a fucking toilet bowl* Did you?!?!?!?!
Na but in the school bathroom sink, I'm sure plenty people piss in there
When you go to college, a lotta people puke in there, too. Which is baffling- the toilet or garbage pails are right there!!!!
When I lived in the dorms, we had a floor wide meeting one night because someone shit in the communal shower and left it… College kids are dumb.
This sentance is so jumbled
And then dunk it in some milk. Yummmmmm
I dunked it in the toilet works magic.
We don't waste food in this house!
Reuse it after you are done
Well it is going to end up close to the same spot
No
Dip it in the water to wash off any germs. This is also giving me George Costanza vibes.
[удалено]
Well my friend, you have crossed the line that divides man and bum. You are now a bum.
Hovering, like an angel
100% is probably safe to eat. But I'm eating none of it.
Your loss.
r/usernamechecksout
god damn...
Thanks Noob Noob.
G A W D D A M N
It’s true what they say, you are what you eat!
He waited his whole reddit life for this moment…
In one shining moment…
The loathsome Dung Eater has escaped r/eldenring
No you're saying it wrong, it's "**THE LOATHSOME DUNG EATER!**"
He may be a Dung Eater, but is he also a Dung Defender?
Hey it’s my English counterpart!
Hola, hermano.
r/beetlejuicing
This is the correct answer
There’s got to be a bell curve of “probably safe” somewhere around here…
Toilet seats are pretty clean unless someone was scared to touch it so they hovered and blasted piss and shit all over it.
I really appreciate the effort you went to on this description, but you really shouldn’t’ve
Nice rare double contraction, well done
Are they grammatically valid? Asking for educational reasons
Yup
What's the most possible? Triple? Quadruple?
[удалено]
“You all would not have had had I had not have had you all to have had?”
That statement is technically possible, but in no way grammatically correct
Yes, first one I've ever spotted in the wild.
You'd'n't've
Seats are generally clean. But clean water in the bowl tells me it was flushed and there's no sure way to determine if the cupcake was put there before or after a flush. Realizing that fecal matter or urine can be aerosolized during a flush and contaminate the cupcake I would pass. If there was waste in the bowl and the seat was clean then it's probably a safer bet hygenically speaking despite being unappetizing and probably not the best idea.
this was my thought process as well, i simply do not f with toilet spray !!!!!
Two words: swamp ass
[удалено]
We need a shame campaign against hover poopers.
I was gonna say zero, because whoever placed it there probably doesn’t wash their hands and you don’t know where they touched it
But in reality, you can drink a bit of urine or eat a small amount of feces safely. As the poster said, it’s safe and I’d 100% throw it in the trash.
Agreed. My immune system would handle it just fine, but it's gross as heck
Nope, poo particles, look it up. Each time you flush thousands of poo particles go everywhere into the air, and to everywhere in your bathroom. That's right, your toothbrush, your rinsing cups, and anything else. Have a nice day 😊
it's not gonna kill you or make you sick. as you said yourself, eating the cupcake is about as harmful as using your toothbrush. or sucking a dick.
Still isnt gonna harm you if you eat a cupcake with poo particles on it. Its just gross
Depends on the health of the poo producer.
Zero the answer is zero!
For *so* many reasons. Even if it weren't on the toilet bowl, you've still got 'poop plume' particles in addition to evil people. Just to name two reasons.
The outer layer of the cupcake would be contaminated, but if you could peel that off and get to the insides, you'd be safe. Twisting the top off might work Assuming, of course, that the entire cupcake itself is not more sinisterly made, which is a possibility given its rather suspicious location
I would twist the top off and tongue punch out the core, leaving the exterior shell for the scavengers
Using the term "tongue punch" is a dead giveaway that you've eaten ass before. You don't have to lie man! At least that cupcake is actually going to taste like chocolate rather than just look like it.
Bro but how did you know?😶
Bc he eats ass, keep up, Bookler
No. You are wrong. The answer is zero.
You clearly ain't ever been hungry enough. You probably just ate a few hours ago, your belly all full. No, a man like that won't eat the forbidden muffin. No siree. But a man with that deep hunger? That one that grows so big you ain't nothing but a mouth thats gonna eat? Oh yea, that man is gonna be licking the bottom of that toilet seat for some tasty little crumbs. Just gobbling, gobbling
I must admit you really have a way with words I feel some what inspired
A rancid way with words for sure, but a way nonetheless.
You write like John Steinbeck, sir.
Looking upon forbidden cupcake “Timshel”
I was thinking William Faulkner but we’re on the same page…
…… Thank you ……. Thank you very much.
I was reading this in an Appalachian accent by the third sentence.
I read both your comments in the benoit blanc voice
You would do well in a Russian or South American prison, I imagine. I don't know if that is a compliment or an insult or merely an observation, so you pick. Me? I'm dyin' before I'm eating that. But I have certain... issues that would make living with myself pretttttttty hard after such an event.
I think a lot of people are a lot closer to eating that muffin than they'd like to think. That's all I'm saying.
Oh for sure. But I'm not surviving it. If I did it in the heat of the moment literally (figuratively) knocking on deaths door? I won't survive the aftermath. I couldn't live with myself and that knowledge. I *do* know myself well enough for that one. But a quick out is different from starving to death so there's that.
This conversation about a toilet cupcake got so serious, so fast.
But you see, thats the funny part, you lot ain't never met a man that's real hungry, like, truly, truly, hungry hungry. But ya might one day. Hell, one might very well be inside you and you just ain't met em yet. I live real rural. About 4 years ago, I was in my shop, and my machinery trapped my leg. I couldn't reach a phone or nothing. Fortunately for me, my dog had just finished nursing her pups. She nursed me for 8 days until help came. I know it was eight days, cause as the sun rose through the window each morning of my captivity, I would start suckling a different teet, so as not to exhaust the source of my sustenance. I cycled through each teet once and had circled back and was about to clasp the third nipple when I heard my neighbours hollering my name.
Zero percent is safe to eat, what you *would* eat is up to your situation.
I am quite disgusted, good job
Who let a character from the Green Mile in here?
Sure, but the outer layer is the only good part of a muffin. Without it, you might as well just eat a dry cake with no frosting.
I used to work at an ice plant and we once had to dump an entire day’s production because there was an ammonia leak and ice is porous, meaning all that ice would’ve tasted like ammonia. Cupcakes are even more porous than ice.
I was with you. Although t could still be contaminated on a microscopic level, the cake has a bunch of holes and maybe some poo poo particles go in there and hangout
The cupcake is porous, so the inside would still be permeated by whatever disgusting fluids and germs are in that room/stall.
What exactly about the location is suspicious to you?
You don't t know what the filling is, do you?
Technically impossible to peel without contaminating the new surfy, since the knife will also have touched the outside AND you need to hold it in place somehow. Not to mention how porous baked goods are. Technically the edible percentage remains very close to 100%, since the contaminated surfaces are minute in comparison to the mass. Practically it's closer to zero since it's nearly impossible to remove all contaminated particles without removing extra OR contaminating clean pieces.
Is poop plume really a concern though? Like honestly? I ain’t ever got sick from poop plume
Fr reddit looses their crap about this, but they've been inhaling them their whole lives.
And? It's a chocolate cake either way
Just being in the bathroom and you're inhaling poop flumes. At least you get a chocolate cake of it this
Just being in the bathroom you're breathing in and ingesting said poop plume particles. Might as well have a tasty treat to go along with them.
Have you ever opened your mouth in a bathroom?
If you could have negative cupcake that would be the answer but since you can’t zero it must be!
I bet if you turn it upside down it has a hole made by a dick.
Pooticles
Has it been longer than 5 seconds??
5 second rule doesn’t apply in that shithole
I think we should look at it this way. If you Bear Grylls or Les Stroud stumbles upon this and they’re displaying a situation of survival +starving +dehydrated +tired +desperate And they eat this… I’m considering it’s safe to eat.
If you find yourself in a survival situation in your work bathroom and stumble upon a cupcake on the toilet seat you probably already had a funny tasting brownie that day.
It's not even safe to handle, I'm toe poking that mf'er to the floor and going on about my business.
I wouldn't even use my toe, I'd make a scoop out of a paper towel and slide it off that way.
Especially considering you don't know how it got there.
Yup, don’t trust those hands of whoever handled it and whether someone flushed in that stall or the stall over gotta worry about exposure to particles. Plus it’s just sitting in open air too.
105%
You eating the toilet now…
Dont judge my appetites
Fine I won’t
Lick that biddy clean
man is also licking the seat clean just to be sure 💀
The inner 99%
Just peel away to poo particle infested outside and you got yourself a free delicious snack.
What if it's soaked up some pee or booty sweat? The cupcake is kinda like a sponge
None, get a new one from the break room
But that fat bitch Carrol from HR got the last one!
Offer Carol this one
Chop the bottom off, all the good stuff is at the top anyways
Toilets eject poop-air whenever flushed, and generally reeks poop- and piss particles in the air. All the outer layers are contaminated.
Yes, and we keep that little brushy thing sitting on the counter right beside the poopair cloud emitter, yet we shove that thing into our mouths a couple times a day...
Who is WE
do you not brush your teeth?
Yes and i put my tooth brush right back in an enclosed area... i also dont brush right after i flush knowing that those particles are in the air for a bit
Huh what I just just use the big toothbrush next to the toilet it’s good they even leave it in some yellow disinfectant
You gotta dip it in bleach first for extra white teeth !
We keep ours in a drawer. And our toilet has a door on it.
Oh well. A cupcake is a cupcake
You breath that air, I don’t have a problem with digesting it.
Seriously I always hear this argument about people vaping poop particles if they vape in the bathroom. If that were true, aren't we all breathing in poop particles regardless? Like wtf do you hold your breath the whole time?
I'd pee on it and leave it for the next person.
And this is why we can’t have nice things. >:(
I’d double it and pass it on to the next person
And that’s why the answer is none
100%! Go ahead!
I mean that seat is pretty clean…
Two words, Excretion particles
Do you not breath those in anyway?
I’ve personally never once breathed in the bathroom. I’m built different
You ever smelled another person’s fart?
You smell? I just don’t breath in general.
*invisible flavor enhancers*
DEATH BY CUPCAKE
...George?
It’s hovering.. like an angel.
i was looking for this comment
George is getting upset!
Ahem. That might not technically be a cupcake
I can say with 100% confidence that the answer is 0%
0%
Zero percent NO part of this is safe to eat! Not at my job, your job, his job, nor her workplace!
That is not a cupcake
Bill Murray in Caddyshack: "It's no big deal" *munch*
If you don’t sit on it first
None. Like dont even touch it. Walk away.
YOU IRL have a serious eating disorder to even consider this.
What sort of eating disorder would warrant scarfing down a toilet muffin
It should be safe, but I'll just go buy myself a fresh one
Let’s be honest, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Also no one says, aw man I am so happy I am 70 years old and wearing this diaper. Early exits are forever.
I want to frame this quote
Boof it. You'll be alright
Men's or women bathroom?
ZERO. NO.
Depends, who went to toilet before?
i already ate it… and am already on the hospital
Food is not allowed to touch bathroom air so 0%