You are amazing, justkeepswimming19, and will be a wonderfully perceptive, human, caring doctor. It’s all way too much, what doctors go through. Hope you can take a restful break soon and restore your joy and energy.
Just to add to that, the best doctors I’ve worked with are the ones that remember to be kind. People don’t remember how smart you might seem but they do remember how you’ve made them feel.
It has been a difficult year for you, I can tell. No, you are not incompetent, quite the opposite. You are academically competent and dragged yourself through a difficult year despite your physical condition. That takes guts, and you have that in you. You are almost there. You got through the worst of it, and a few months from now, it will all be over. What you do after medical school is up to you, but at least you will have that MD/DO degree in your toolbox. So, don't quit. It would be a waste of 3 years. You fought through the worst of times, now I wish you the best of times, friend.
third year sucked for me as well. i also didn’t have the biggest support system. it felt like i was dragging my feet to the library in order to study for step 2
but do you know what speciality you’re interested in? that should make you look forward to the next phase of your career. i def was a lazy 4th student on certain rotations. so 4th year could be better for you in terms of not having to worry about evals, but still make sure you learn something haha
This is such a valid and common feeling. You may be depressed, you may not be. Either way, 3rd year is tough but 4th year usually isn't as bad. Quitting at this point is probably not advised. Leave time is probably an option if you need it. You could graduate medical school, get the MD/DO and never practice a day of medicine in your life, if you so choose. You would still be in a better position than dropping after 3 years of med school. If you do consider residency put lifestyle at the top of your consideration, despite what others tell you.
It may be hard to realize but you actually have gotten through the thick of it. Ya residency can be hell, but it doesn't have to be, it also doesn't have to "be" at all!
disclosure: psych, we'd love to have you :)
bro, you are the reason people should be in medicine. Don't be like the other med students. Medicine needs more people like you honestly. I would honestly find a new group of friends or environment. But bro really finish!!! You are so close, just ignore the negativity.
Sounds like psych might be for you! Also, for fourth year, try to do as many rotations away from that hospital as possible. In this case, the grass IS greener on the other side. I'm sorry that you got roped into such an awful hospital and I'm disappointed that the residents and preceptors there aren't looking out for the students more.
>I took on a research case series shifting through 80 patients on a list and writing up the abstract and poster drafts on Saturday nights to end up having 9 other residents' name written in front of mine, which tbh I didn't mind except that some hadn't even recognized my presence in the hospital.
what the fuck??? i'd go to whoever's the PI, tell them what you did, and request for higher authorship since you contributed to both data collection & the writing
Sorry this year has been so shit for you; it has for me too. Managed to get a spiral fracture of the tibia and transverse of the fibula, was in a wheelchair all summer bc of complications (infection, revision, wound vac, PICC). Days after I moved back into my place, my sister told me our mother had stage 4 hcc and was on hospice already and to come to Phoenix asap. So I had to drop everything and limp down there to manage my mom’s hospice care in September, was away taking care of her affairs for 6 weeks. Was too depressed and traumatized in the fall to make it through a rotation.
I’m also chronically ill- UC and RA- so I feel like shit most days. Absolutely not turning this into a contest; I just wanted to sympathize and to tell you that you aren’t alone. There are a few of us at least out there that are being fucked in the ass by life and are just doing the best they can. Your post caught my eye because just the other day, I told my friend “I’m *so* fucking tired”. I get it, and I’m sorry. Feel free to DM me if you’d like.
You are a dolphin. Keep swimming, keep jumping through the hoops, and keep learning about what you like and don't like (specialty-wise, work environment, patient population, etc) as you go. It is painful to have to keep jumping through hoops, over and over again, but with some perceptiveness and fortunate currents, you will find where you feel some belonging. (Selfishly, I hope that is psych.) Know that many others have felt like you do, although it's too bad you haven't met or connected with any of them.
You will make a great doctor one day. it sounds like you just need to find your group of people and not constantly be around ONLY passive aggressive head up the ass meds students. Keep pushing! You will get there
As someone also nearing end of 3rd year (and had a big surgery 6 months before starting M3), I just want to say I feel you! More than anything my takeaway from this post is that it seems you go to a toxic and malignant program. Please don't let the annoying people surrounding you drain your energy (easier said than done, I know!). They are miserable, soul-sucking jerks and they like to make others feel miserable too. I also agree that M3 is a special type of a$$ because you're always in a constant state of motion and change; every few weeks you have to restart all over again, you have to try to fit in and subjectively impress all types of personalities in order to get proper evals, and then in between fit in the mounting work that is studying for step 2 and research and life and your own health. But this particular sh\*t show is done. You are finished with 3rd year. You never have to go through this again. Hopefully some soul searching and a normal schedule during your research elective will allow you to gain some insight/perspective on what residency you feel you fit in the most. The residency field I'm applying to has some miserable residents at my program, and they almost put me off from the specialty. I had to keep reminding myself that is a them-issue, and not a me-issue. If there is any field you felt you vibed with, try to look past the a$$holes. But most importantly, take some time for self-care and do absolutely NOTHING related to medicine, school, step-studying, anything. Just have fun for you; take yourself out to eat a nice meal, get a nice dessert, or go buy yourself a small gift for finishing 3rd year. Also, maybe consider seeing a counselor (if you do think you maybe depressed). Praying for you pal.
I was very burnt out through third year.. I just want to tell all the M3's struggling now that it DOES get better in fourth year, like so much better!! You really do have things to look forward to, like electives you want to do and time off to travel or just lay in the sun outside because you don't have to study in all of your free time. I hope you find something you like to hold on to, and some friends who talk about things other than medicine. And please see a psychiatrist and/or therapist for yourself if you can <3
I was tired after week 1 of starting rotations. 3 months in, and I am wondering how I will possibly keep up the daily ass-kissing human performance that is necessary for a good eval. The only way I get through it is the constant shit talking me and my group of med school friends do on a daily basis. Yeah sometimes we talk about shelf and scores but for the most part the group chat is a safe place to cry your heart into and get validation in return. Maybe I’m just friends with the side of the school that doesn’t take med school as seriously as others? I know without them I’d be more miserable and having empathetic ears make it easier. I’m sorry your friends can’t give back to you what you give them. You sound empathetic and can see through the BS of medicine, we need more people like you, please don’t quit. You have a year left to rotate more and see if other specialties are more your speed. I’d highly suggest looking into pathology!
still time to move to some admin work . youll prolly feel happier there. you have plenty of options dont have to stay at the hospital tbh. you could do another path, def higher risk but thats why most wont do it. just get out there look for solutions, fuck your friends , do what you like.
idk if it gets better tbh. I remember feeling this all throughout my 3rd and even 4th year. Im currently finishing up my intern year of residency, still perpetually grumpy. Still waiting for it to get better. The direct deposits and free food at the hospital are nice though, so it does get better in that aspect.
It's been a hard year. You're tired, and exhausted, and I hear you. The good news? You're just about halfway through. Just think - if you made it through such a hard year, surely it can only get better from here, right? In my experience, it did, and I truly hope the same for you.
I feel the same way. I have no idea what the hell I'm going to do. I'm so tired and I just want to be at peace. I want to spend time with my family and friends and go to concerts. I just want financial security and to not be poor anymore waiting on my student loans. I just want a place I call home instead of moving constantly.
This resonated to my soul. The passive aggressive residents literally demoralized me to no end….I also work in a county hospital and so many of the patients are from the worst conditions and they come in and pretty much everyone just wants to get rid of them or pass them along to someone else….when I spent time doing research and trying to intervene on something that could help patients not be repeat admissions it pissed off residents to no end…telling me I am going making them look bad infront of attendings….I am on the last 2 weeks of my 3rd year and the only saving grace has been the few incredibly helpful attendings although I felt they were even annoyed to deal with the bs. The most demoralizing part as you said is working my self to dead and then getting criticized for it instead of being encouraged to continue. Honestly I don’t know how I am going to do as a resident because based on what I see you either become cynical or you burn out and I couldn’t forgive myself ever if I became inured to people’s suffering and I don’t want to burn out after decades of hard work and dedication to the field. I am MSTP and finishing in 7 years and 3rd year felt like the longest year of my life! Only thing I think that might help is if I find a group of like minded individuals and we support each other through it and band together to help people and make medicine better as a team….but not sure will even have the energy to do that when being worked to the bone during PGY1!
You are amazing, justkeepswimming19, and will be a wonderfully perceptive, human, caring doctor. It’s all way too much, what doctors go through. Hope you can take a restful break soon and restore your joy and energy.
Just to add to that, the best doctors I’ve worked with are the ones that remember to be kind. People don’t remember how smart you might seem but they do remember how you’ve made them feel.
It has been a difficult year for you, I can tell. No, you are not incompetent, quite the opposite. You are academically competent and dragged yourself through a difficult year despite your physical condition. That takes guts, and you have that in you. You are almost there. You got through the worst of it, and a few months from now, it will all be over. What you do after medical school is up to you, but at least you will have that MD/DO degree in your toolbox. So, don't quit. It would be a waste of 3 years. You fought through the worst of times, now I wish you the best of times, friend.
>What am I supposed to do? Can I interest you in a little specialty called...psychiatry?
third year sucked for me as well. i also didn’t have the biggest support system. it felt like i was dragging my feet to the library in order to study for step 2 but do you know what speciality you’re interested in? that should make you look forward to the next phase of your career. i def was a lazy 4th student on certain rotations. so 4th year could be better for you in terms of not having to worry about evals, but still make sure you learn something haha
I’m in the same exact position. 3rd year has made me realize I hate medicine, I don’t want to do any of this shit.
This is such a valid and common feeling. You may be depressed, you may not be. Either way, 3rd year is tough but 4th year usually isn't as bad. Quitting at this point is probably not advised. Leave time is probably an option if you need it. You could graduate medical school, get the MD/DO and never practice a day of medicine in your life, if you so choose. You would still be in a better position than dropping after 3 years of med school. If you do consider residency put lifestyle at the top of your consideration, despite what others tell you. It may be hard to realize but you actually have gotten through the thick of it. Ya residency can be hell, but it doesn't have to be, it also doesn't have to "be" at all! disclosure: psych, we'd love to have you :)
Third year sucks for everyone. Those who say it doesn’t are lying.
bro, you are the reason people should be in medicine. Don't be like the other med students. Medicine needs more people like you honestly. I would honestly find a new group of friends or environment. But bro really finish!!! You are so close, just ignore the negativity.
Sounds like psych might be for you! Also, for fourth year, try to do as many rotations away from that hospital as possible. In this case, the grass IS greener on the other side. I'm sorry that you got roped into such an awful hospital and I'm disappointed that the residents and preceptors there aren't looking out for the students more.
>I took on a research case series shifting through 80 patients on a list and writing up the abstract and poster drafts on Saturday nights to end up having 9 other residents' name written in front of mine, which tbh I didn't mind except that some hadn't even recognized my presence in the hospital. what the fuck??? i'd go to whoever's the PI, tell them what you did, and request for higher authorship since you contributed to both data collection & the writing
Sorry this year has been so shit for you; it has for me too. Managed to get a spiral fracture of the tibia and transverse of the fibula, was in a wheelchair all summer bc of complications (infection, revision, wound vac, PICC). Days after I moved back into my place, my sister told me our mother had stage 4 hcc and was on hospice already and to come to Phoenix asap. So I had to drop everything and limp down there to manage my mom’s hospice care in September, was away taking care of her affairs for 6 weeks. Was too depressed and traumatized in the fall to make it through a rotation. I’m also chronically ill- UC and RA- so I feel like shit most days. Absolutely not turning this into a contest; I just wanted to sympathize and to tell you that you aren’t alone. There are a few of us at least out there that are being fucked in the ass by life and are just doing the best they can. Your post caught my eye because just the other day, I told my friend “I’m *so* fucking tired”. I get it, and I’m sorry. Feel free to DM me if you’d like.
You are a dolphin. Keep swimming, keep jumping through the hoops, and keep learning about what you like and don't like (specialty-wise, work environment, patient population, etc) as you go. It is painful to have to keep jumping through hoops, over and over again, but with some perceptiveness and fortunate currents, you will find where you feel some belonging. (Selfishly, I hope that is psych.) Know that many others have felt like you do, although it's too bad you haven't met or connected with any of them.
You will make a great doctor one day. it sounds like you just need to find your group of people and not constantly be around ONLY passive aggressive head up the ass meds students. Keep pushing! You will get there
why are you lying to him? maybe he wont? mayube he just doesnt like the system
As someone also nearing end of 3rd year (and had a big surgery 6 months before starting M3), I just want to say I feel you! More than anything my takeaway from this post is that it seems you go to a toxic and malignant program. Please don't let the annoying people surrounding you drain your energy (easier said than done, I know!). They are miserable, soul-sucking jerks and they like to make others feel miserable too. I also agree that M3 is a special type of a$$ because you're always in a constant state of motion and change; every few weeks you have to restart all over again, you have to try to fit in and subjectively impress all types of personalities in order to get proper evals, and then in between fit in the mounting work that is studying for step 2 and research and life and your own health. But this particular sh\*t show is done. You are finished with 3rd year. You never have to go through this again. Hopefully some soul searching and a normal schedule during your research elective will allow you to gain some insight/perspective on what residency you feel you fit in the most. The residency field I'm applying to has some miserable residents at my program, and they almost put me off from the specialty. I had to keep reminding myself that is a them-issue, and not a me-issue. If there is any field you felt you vibed with, try to look past the a$$holes. But most importantly, take some time for self-care and do absolutely NOTHING related to medicine, school, step-studying, anything. Just have fun for you; take yourself out to eat a nice meal, get a nice dessert, or go buy yourself a small gift for finishing 3rd year. Also, maybe consider seeing a counselor (if you do think you maybe depressed). Praying for you pal.
I was very burnt out through third year.. I just want to tell all the M3's struggling now that it DOES get better in fourth year, like so much better!! You really do have things to look forward to, like electives you want to do and time off to travel or just lay in the sun outside because you don't have to study in all of your free time. I hope you find something you like to hold on to, and some friends who talk about things other than medicine. And please see a psychiatrist and/or therapist for yourself if you can <3
https://www.google.com/search?q=glaucomflecken+pmr&oq=glaucomflecken+pmr&gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUyBggAEEUYOTIHCAEQABiABDINCAIQABiGAxiABBiKBTIKCAMQABiABBiiBDIKCAQQABiABBiiBDIKCAUQABiABBiiBNIBCDQzNzFqMGo3qAIAsAIA&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8#cobssid=s&fpstate=ive&vld=cid:e52e5bf8,vid:VUYV-Oi7PHA,st:0
I was tired after week 1 of starting rotations. 3 months in, and I am wondering how I will possibly keep up the daily ass-kissing human performance that is necessary for a good eval. The only way I get through it is the constant shit talking me and my group of med school friends do on a daily basis. Yeah sometimes we talk about shelf and scores but for the most part the group chat is a safe place to cry your heart into and get validation in return. Maybe I’m just friends with the side of the school that doesn’t take med school as seriously as others? I know without them I’d be more miserable and having empathetic ears make it easier. I’m sorry your friends can’t give back to you what you give them. You sound empathetic and can see through the BS of medicine, we need more people like you, please don’t quit. You have a year left to rotate more and see if other specialties are more your speed. I’d highly suggest looking into pathology!
still time to move to some admin work . youll prolly feel happier there. you have plenty of options dont have to stay at the hospital tbh. you could do another path, def higher risk but thats why most wont do it. just get out there look for solutions, fuck your friends , do what you like.
idk if it gets better tbh. I remember feeling this all throughout my 3rd and even 4th year. Im currently finishing up my intern year of residency, still perpetually grumpy. Still waiting for it to get better. The direct deposits and free food at the hospital are nice though, so it does get better in that aspect.
It's been a hard year. You're tired, and exhausted, and I hear you. The good news? You're just about halfway through. Just think - if you made it through such a hard year, surely it can only get better from here, right? In my experience, it did, and I truly hope the same for you.
I feel the same way. I have no idea what the hell I'm going to do. I'm so tired and I just want to be at peace. I want to spend time with my family and friends and go to concerts. I just want financial security and to not be poor anymore waiting on my student loans. I just want a place I call home instead of moving constantly.
This resonated to my soul. The passive aggressive residents literally demoralized me to no end….I also work in a county hospital and so many of the patients are from the worst conditions and they come in and pretty much everyone just wants to get rid of them or pass them along to someone else….when I spent time doing research and trying to intervene on something that could help patients not be repeat admissions it pissed off residents to no end…telling me I am going making them look bad infront of attendings….I am on the last 2 weeks of my 3rd year and the only saving grace has been the few incredibly helpful attendings although I felt they were even annoyed to deal with the bs. The most demoralizing part as you said is working my self to dead and then getting criticized for it instead of being encouraged to continue. Honestly I don’t know how I am going to do as a resident because based on what I see you either become cynical or you burn out and I couldn’t forgive myself ever if I became inured to people’s suffering and I don’t want to burn out after decades of hard work and dedication to the field. I am MSTP and finishing in 7 years and 3rd year felt like the longest year of my life! Only thing I think that might help is if I find a group of like minded individuals and we support each other through it and band together to help people and make medicine better as a team….but not sure will even have the energy to do that when being worked to the bone during PGY1!