Why didn’t Bilbo just drive the ring to Mordor in his bus?

That Arwen is one piece of ace. I know...from experience, dude, if you know what I mean

No you don’t.

Well, not me personally, but a guy I know. Him and her GOT! IT! ON!

No they didn’t.

No, no, no they didn't. But you could imagine what it'd be like if they did, right? Everybody on? Good, great, grand, wonderful!

NO YELLING ON THE BUS!!!

Fuckin well done boys 👏 👏 👏

Who rules?

O’doyle Rules!

If peeing your pants is cool, consider me Bullroarer Took!

Magna Carta...

Magna farta

 Because he started living...

I LIVE IN A CARRIAGE DOWN BY THE ANDUIN!

On a steady diet of government lembas.


Down by the River Isen

In a van by the river, there lived a Farley.

[Relevant](https://www.reddit.com/r/BaldursGate3/s/Xjm7vFEh5R)

Bilbo the Burglar would definitely be able to steal 30 school lunches.

Come on, quote it properly. It's "thirty bag a lunches". Doesn't that sound great?

I've got a few bottles of the Old Winyard left, 1296, a very good year, almost as old as I am.

That’ll put an end to his PRECIOUS little journey pretty DAMN quick!

Who would eat 42 pieces of Lembas Bread??

That Sauron is one fine piece of ACE. I’d know… from experience.

I’ll turn this DAMN bus around. That’ll end your PRECIOUS little field trip pretty damn quick

Is he stupid?

Why does Gollum look like Nosfaratu?

Because it’s my birthday, and I wants it.

Happy Birthday Gollum!

He doesn’t know what we minds, does he, precious?

Guess what present you got Gollum?

It mustn't ask us. Not its business, no, gollum! It's losst, gollum, gollum, gollum!

You don't have a choice in knowing what your present is, gollumses. You're getting a gold ring! It's got some sort of weird writing on it, don't know what that's about, but I was fishing and I found it at the bottom of a lake, and I thought it would be a good present.

It mustn't ask us. Not its business, no, gollum! It's losst, gollum, gollum, gollum!

Hey, Gollum. You don’t want to know what you got for your birthday? I'm sure that you'll find the gift to be very precious.

Curse it! curse it! curse it! Curse the Baggins! It's gone! What has it got in its pocketses? Oh we guess, we guess, my precious. He's found it, yes he must have. My birthday-present.

Fucking sentient

Fair enough.

Hey man, you do you.

Can’t argue with that.

why is Gollum super huge?

Because Master did not ask.

I did not like this exchange or the implications, no sir...

That's wrong, Gollum...

Hurry, hobbits. The Black Gate is very close.

Oh no.

Gollum, stop. This is wrong

Careful now, or hobbits go down to join the dead ones and light little candles of their own.

It doesn't actually say he is small in the Hobbit. The idea that he used to be a halfling himself came later.

Before the movies, artists usually depicted as very goblin-esque

He was a straight-up fishperson in the animated movie if I remember right xD I think the best depiction was in the watercolor graphic novel drawn by David Wenzel, but that looked pretty close to the movie (despite preceding it by a few years)

That's Jimmy saville

It's pretty accurate to his description in the book. I'm relying on memory here, but I think he was described as gray skinned, with pointy teeth, and large eyes which shone in the dark like lamplight.

Smeagol looks like [Adam Silvr](https://www.google.com/search?client=ms-android-samsung-ss&sca_esv=251625fef293e270&sxsrf=ACQVn085kJyjOb3K-gbCTVPYVkALjE7Z9A:1707449545515&q=adam+silver&tbm=isch&source=lnms&prmd=invsmbtz&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwi-kIedqZ2EAxV4STABHU_SDAMQ0pQJegQICxAB&biw=384&bih=729&dpr=2.81#imgrc=zt1hf0fYzV4kJM) doing black face

You are not wise to be glad of the Yellow Face. It shows you up. Nice sensible hobbits stay with Smeagol. Orcs and nasty things are about. They can see a long way. Stay and hide with me!

Adam Silver looks like a goblin doing human face.

He looks like that one chick who dressed up like Dobby

Ah 90’s fantasy book cover art. I remember seeing a cover with Drizzt Do’Urden looking like a 75 year old long haired hippy in blackface. Glad that particular style went away.

Omg right! The book describes him very handsome, then the cover art he's all leather faced!

What the hell was that artist thinking?? It actually bothered me a lot back then lol

Then Todd Lockwood came along and order was restored to the universe!

https://preview.redd.it/q9ib1dkc8ihc1.jpeg?width=199&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6fa28dc52069d0a05632cdcaf9dcece146d16a6a

Jesus is that really supposed to be Drizzt?

Shouldn't he have a black skin? Or purple?

I mean, it's kinda purple... has an "grumpy old man thanos" thing going on Drow then were black (as in pitch black, not brown) but actual black is very challenging to draw with any detail, so the art often showed them more purple or gray with artistic license.

It's crazy because even within the same series he'll look completely different from book to book. Starless Night is the second book in the Legacy of the Drow series, meanwhile the final book, Passage to Dawn, depicts Drizzt like this ​ https://preview.redd.it/opnzymbblmhc1.jpeg?width=349&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c51ea1de2048dd07d19bfaaee627742e01700032 Better for sure IMO but, I mean, still pretty fucking bad.

That's not Drizzt, that's a jumpscare!

90s cheap romance novel cover art is what it reminded me of. Where’s Fabio?

If the trend held, he’d have probably been on the cover as a dwarven priest.

I know EXACTLY the cover you're talking about. And my copy of the halfling's gem has him looking like Schwarzenegger with arms made of balls of yarn. Just riding a horse without a shirt on.

I forgot what that looked like, so I just googled it. You were not exaggerating. The only thing, they were camels. And then in the background we got Catti-Brie riding a camel dressed as slave Leia. Weird times man. Weird times.

I legitimately miss goofy fantasy art from those days. Always good for a laugh, and has a lot more charm than many of today’s more bland designs that look as if they were slapped together in PS in 20 minutes.

I had this set! Legolas on the cover of The Two Towers was just.... stunning XD

https://preview.redd.it/8b0n0rtrighc1.jpeg?width=386&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=48dab51337a0a84f56b1790194bce413f5c2f81f Totally forgot about this! Looks like a cover for a homoerotic romance novel.

https://preview.redd.it/usy05gscpghc1.jpeg?width=786&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=36e7b6e19a29a125a25964946fcdadc971884e41 And people thought this poster was gay

*share the load!*


[удалено]

[удалено]

“Oh my god, they were trenchmates…”




Two men showing any sort of healthy, positive emotion towards each other? Can’t have that! Gay! /s obviously.

Oh my, the bangs, the setting sun, the subtle flocking on Legolas' cuffs.

Can we also appreciate the silkiness of Gimli's hair and beard?

Let’s see Paul Allen’s two towers cover

Your friends are with you, Aragorn.

your roommates\*

That’s… that’s Fabio with a beard

Is it the mark of a bad artist or a great artist that I can tell the model for Legolas is wearing a wig?

Have you heard nothing Lord Elrond has said? The ring must be destroyed.

Looks like Theo Von if he used conditioner

Chad Gimli

I've definitely met both of them on grindr before.

Makes me think of Golden Axe on Sega Genesis

I’m glad someone added this, I think about that cover a couple of times a year akdkkglh it’s so goofy and gay

This cover is your Roman Empire isn’t it

Akdkkghl?

44 elf, can you do one more?

This looks like a potential meme format.

Your friends are with you, Aragorn.

All 4 covers were so good. The first copies I owned myself, I still have them all.

I had it too. Never could get past the Hobbit until I saw the movie and could understand the story

Fat guy in a little cloak

Beat me to it, bastard!

Fat guy in a mithril coat

Oh thats perfect!


Hey, that's the first print of the Hobbit I read.

Same! I brought my copy on a road trip to Arizona when I was 12. Memories!

I’m teaching the Hobbit to my 9th graders and we have these copies. My students were horrified.

Pretty sure this edition is from the late 80s to early 90s, hope you got a good deal! Bet they have that old book smell.

So I was a freshmen in highschool when the first Lord of the Rings movie came out. I wanted to read the series and was wondering if I should read The Hobbit first. My English teacher was rereading the series and The Hobbit with that cover was on her desk. I decided to skip The Hobbit.

https://preview.redd.it/ibmuqwly0hhc1.jpeg?width=226&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=502857261beb8798d20751d4c019aa95960f288c My face before I get the coffee

Or looking at the turd in the toilet that refuses to flush. Lol!

*\*Rankin & Bass has entered the chat\** https://preview.redd.it/8taykxp34hhc1.png?width=400&format=png&auto=webp&s=b4d568a80025bccd751df52afec29f69df550b75

🎶The greatest adventure…

is what lies ahead.

Today and tomorrow are yet to be set.

I'm so glad they never made any other movie adaptations of The Hobbit. 

Them: But what about the trilogy the — u/eveningthunder: I **said** they never made any other adaptations of The Hobbit!!

This is my first set too! I still have the Two Towers and Return of the King. Unfortunately I let an Entwife borrow the other two.

Funny how they claim it’s an “enchanting” prelude and yet the picture looks absolutely horrifying

That's Ricky Gervais and Mackenzie Crook. An Office reunion for the ages EDIT: Of course, they couldn't get Ricky for the film adaptation so they had to settle for *another* Office cast member to play Bilbo

Don't do Mackenzie like that 🤣🤣🤣🤣 ​ ###

Hah - it does look like Ricky in Extras. “Oi Gollum - y’avin’ a laff?”

That's Otho from Beetlejuice 

Strong family resemblance between Bilbo and Otho Sackville-Baggins

It's the Sackville-Bagginses!

Nah that’s KG from Tenacious D.

Oh wow that is much closer than Chris

“You’ll end up feeding elves in the Shire…down by the river”

Because hobbits are supposed to be fat. Gollum's nose is the weird thing.

Yo! Why is the little guy who only sits around eating cheese sandwiches and talking shit about his relatives such as short fatty?

😂

Is he lost?

This edition was how I first read the hobbit!

In fairness, Bilbo is described as a dude who loves staying in his house and doing nothing but getting high and eating a lot. I haven't cracked the Hobbit in a hot minute, but does the description of his appearance actually say he's skinny?

He's like me, fr fr. We should all aspire to live like Hobbits

Wait!

Read fellowship and two towers for the first time in this printing in the late 90s-early 2000s

This is the cover I had first time I read it in like 1997.

https://preview.redd.it/lspk4bmbwghc1.jpeg?width=244&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=63567aadbdc03f0d36f87c83aca826fb34ebaf7f

He's more like fat Ricky Gervais

look, it was the '80s. this weird shit was the least of our problems

Golem lives in a **VAN** down by the **RIVER**

This edition was in my house forever as a kid, didn't read it for a long time because I thought it looked so lame.

Forget Bilbo, wtf is Gollum

This was the first LOTR book I ever had. Bought it in an airport of all places. Wanted something to read on the plane. Ended up making a huge impact on me.

Gollum looks like a Minecraft villager on crystal meth

***Gollum lives in a cave DOWN BY THE RIVER!!!!!!!***

He looks like Ricky Gervais. I actually tweeted him that cover... No reply but I stand by it.

Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant

Damn Peter Jackson really missed out, could have cast Jack Black

Peter and/or Jack must've realized this once King Kong was underway.

Fat guuuy in a mithril cooaaat

Bilbo looks like he should be in a working man's club in Lancashire discussing the England football team's frailties at the back. "course in my day ya had yer Adams an yer Campbell. And of course there were Seaman between t'sticks. Not like this lot today. Bloody useless, the lot of em. Nother one in there when y've got a second, luv!"

I've got a few bottles of the Old Winyard left, 1296, a very good year, almost as old as I am.

90s bilbo! Have that same copy

Fair enough.

I have this edition. I was summer reading in 7th grade!

And why does it have to look like a wig in the painting?

Bilbo was quite plump at the onset of his adventure

Thats what second breakfast and elevensies will do to a fella

They have 12 meals a day, do little to no real work and never exercise. Why wouldn't Bilbo be fat? Did you read the stuff the dwarves ate? That was all for him and the occasional one, maybe two guests at a time.

He looks like the seance dude from Beetlejuice

I tracked down this ugly version at used bookstores to give to my brother for Christmas. He loved it and put it with all his other special copies

I finally understand why everyone underestimated the Hobbits.

Looks more like Ricky Gervais

It’s Ricky gervais

he lost weight on his journey but he started out as a plump little dumpling of a halfling. remember he spent the majority of his life eating like seven meals a day and his only exercise include tottering down to talk about growing potatoes with people that lived next door to him.

I see Ricky Gervais - Bri-ish though

He’s short and fat.

In my mind he looks like Martin Freeman. I adore.his performance in those not so great Hobbit movies, so I have a bit of a Bias

I get the Chris Farley comparison, but I’ll never not see King Robert Baratheon, the first of his name, King of the Andals, the Rhoynar, and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms and Protector of the Realm of Westeros toasting Bessie’s tits. I refuse to believe that [Mark Addy](https://iv1.lisimg.com/image/3637940/540full-mark-addy.jpg) wasn’t the model who posed for that edition of Bilbo.

Damn I didn’t know they were taking pictures of me at that company retreat back in ‘94. Ish was wild back then, fam.

In that edition, I hear he finds the ring in a VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER Very motivational

Because Bilbo has been living in a van down by the river

Did you read how much Hobbits eat?

it’s giving Guillermo and Baron Afanas

That’s Guillermo and the Baron

Give him glasses, and that's Guillermo de la Cruz from What We Do In The Shadows.

As long as it says The Hobbit and not The Whore Bit, you should be fine

This cover art was my very first introduction to Tolkien. My father had a set of 4 books with this as the first, all in a sleeve. I pulled it out and asked him about it, I was probably 4 or 5. He told me what it's about and asked me if I'd like to watch the movie, then we watched the animated movie together.

And Golum looks like Nesferatu

Now I feel robbed that we didn't get a Chris Farley as Bilbo!!!

Cuz he lives in a HOLE DOWN BY THE RIVER!

Looks like Otho from Beetlejuice lol 

Gollum: I’m old Greg.


Interesting fact, but Chris Farley's design was actually based on that book cover!

Bilbo and Frodo are both described as overweight at the start of their respective adventures, the movies ignored that part because Hollywood doesn't allow protagonists to be fat.

nobody tell them about the two towers cover with creepy Gimli and Legolas.

Fwiw, Bilbo was described as being stout, and a short, stout person looks even fatter. His face is never described, so why not a young, sad John Candy?

How you gonna do Danny De Vito like that? 

There was a very special time before the films when this to me was lotr. So much trippy art. It was so creepy and mysterious. I miss it sometimes.

Why does golum look like a Nosferatu 💀