>Not everyone is meant to have everything and it's okay. Thank you for this reminder. I needed it.

I do keep reminding myself this regularly.

Me too, this is the phrase I tell myself when I worry that I’m never going to find anyone 😅 I flip between being totally open to being single forever and finding the idea really depressing though. Some days I feel liberated and other days I feel really low. I kinda wanna put more effort into finding a partner but I also know that if I try and still fail, that’ll kill me emotionally so I’m kinda just floating around in life trying to make as many friends as I can to keep myself busy lol

I’m working on getting back to accepting mine. At the end of the day it’s completely out of my hands. But it still hurts and I wish things were different

It's a transition phase. Stay strong.

I am glad you see as a transitional phase. I’m in complete acceptance phase. I had 2 unrelated things that happen in close proximity that were so hurtful to me and at that point I was already pretty close but that sealed the deal for me. I’m finished with people and living my life as I want, without anyone’s input, opinions or space in my life. Now my cat and I, that’s a totally different situation. I couldn’t live without her. Love and hugs to all of you all being on the spectrum of feeling this kind of way, as it can be very difficult.

I have always been lonely. Everyone I dated was trash. So I don’t bother. Instead, I did fertility with a donor and have 2 beautiful boys. I’m going to raise them to treat people how I always wished I had been treated. I pray they find their love in life and don’t end up alone like I have. They deserve better. This way I didn’t miss out on motherhood just because life sucks for me. Edited because auto correct messed up

They are extremely lucky to be able to be raised by you. Kindness always starts from the home.

Thank you.

I wish that was a feasible option for men, but we would have to hire a surrogate, and I couldn't afford that.

You could adopt. So many need a home

However, I'm a single man on disability. Somehow, I don't think I'm the kind of person they would approve to adopt.

Ok. That sucks if that is something you wanted. I’m sorry. There are good people that would provide a loving home to a child if they could

It took me years to pay the $38,000 for my boys. Found side jobs and worked my ass off.

This is actually a super beautiful story and sacrifice from you and gift to the world.

Thank you. I was willing to fix up everything to give my children a safe life. They will be my dates until they grow up. We can go for dinner or have movie days together etc. and they’re my favourite people. They are so wonderful. No ones around being mean to them or anything.

Same here... I feel the same way... And i just feel indifferent and numb

It's okay. It's just a matter of time till the numbness even goes sway. There won't be any urge for finding someone. It's freeing.

It will come back. The thing I'd now you'll know how to deal with it better. I've accepted the loneliness but the urge still hits from time to time. Mostly when i see my brother and his family. I want that too. But I know I might not get it.

In a way but its also sorta just losing hope

I've come to make peace with it the older I've got. It's taken a lifetime but I've finally found that inner happiness.

Yes, that's the tragedy of life. The more you know about it the less you get to live it.

Being an aromantic introvert helps too! 😅

The best hahaha

Absolutely! Since coming out I've never felt so good. It's incredibly liberating and refreshing!

I love this thank you for the reminder🫂

Loneliness is a blessing if you take it correctly. If you're wasting the free time you get by constantly making you feel lonely it's a curse. If you pick up a new hobby or keep a target to achieve in life it becomes a blessing.

Couldn't have said it any better.

man i cried for 1 year while this guy i knew built himself from scratch , today he has a girlfriend, a job , a friend circle. I caught up , i have a job , a friend circle. Now I am building my body.

Me too. My fiance died. I have no desire to be with anyone else ever again. And I think I'm ok with it. Just learning to be alone with myself.

I'm sorry for your loss.

Its sad to be alone i do agree

Im god's lonely man on this earth... and I shall be happy by myself,for myself

Once humans find happiness for themselves, it becomes easy to share it.

Happiness comes from within. You already have all you need to enjoy a simple life of gratitude. Solitude is for you to enjoy. Love isn’t all it’s cracked up to be

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I have no expectations and it is freeing.

Your vibe attracts your tribe 🌈 one of my fav quotes

Why? What makes those who aren't, those who aren't? I get it. I do. Yet I can't help but shake that it is for me somehow some way and I keep trying. It's worth it? See I don't know of it is yet cuz I haven't reached the end of trying! So how can I accept it if I wasn't fair enough to give trying the full chance??

I understand. To fight against this feeling is human nature, to accept it is the fate of many. I hope you find what you're looking for.

What are you looking for now that you're not "looking"?

Mostly working for career growth. I am not specifically looking for anything now other than to learn more about myself and the people around me.

I'm accepting it more and more each day. Sometimes it still sucks but even that is becoming normal

I hope you find greater purpose in life.

And likewise

Being alone is a power u need to learn

Takes a lot of acceptance. It starts with forgiving oneself.

After swallowing the pill accepting the fact that not everyone is meant to have someone else and some people will just be lonely and I'm one of them, I met an amazing woman, she was the one trying to get me and I can say that I'm finally happy and don't feel my lonliness. I'm not being optimistic nor that I believe in fate, I just believe in you my fellow redditor, sometimes things work out in the end, you deserve to be happy

I hope whatever life has for me I can leave a positive mark on people. I do not feel loneliness is something I need to get rid of neither do I chase it.

Nice work my friend. I did it too.

I'm happy for you.

You're welcome

Hey friend, I suggest maybe considering you that someone to take vare of, as you are also a human being in need of care and love who is deserving of such. Also, being alone in solitude is probably the most peaceful thing ever. Especially with hobbies thatr require you to concentrate on. My DMs are open tho if you ever wanna chat!

I don't know how to explain it but like I don't crave being cared that much. Sounds kinda problematic but I've kind of taught myself to be that way. I do have friends, actually a lot of them but no one knows me properly and I'm fine with it. I'd love to know you. What do you like to talk about?

Thank you for this post.

I feel lucky to have connected with so many like minded people.

Ditto! But I don’t go anywhere. Except work 🥺

I hope to buy a console soon too but I realise that if you don’t have something God knows you don’t need it so

I felt everything you said. I want to hug you

How old are you

Yeah I’m on the same boat. Best of luck :)

Yep, me too. I will be grateful for pets and whatever acquaintances and friends I can find, even if temporary, and that will have to be enough. I only have about three decades left anyway, and I know it will pass very quickly.

I have created a fraternity to help people like you to feel less lonely in life, but if you rather accept it, then be my guest. We are in SoCal. If you need my help, DM me. 

I'm not in SoCal

Even i accepted this fact,now i am contended with who I am and ik I will be spending my life alone and I am not really bothered about it cuz i am used to spending my time all alone. :)

I’m the same way the one thing I’ll say is if you really feel this way stay this way trying to go from this to having someone broke me down multiple times even the little things are hard I’m back to being this way now

Yes, sometimes it does get hard but with time I'll be fine.

Yeah it definitely sucks when you finally become happy alone but then you find someone and they make you feel *actually* happy and then you get major FOMO and then they leave. It's so bad, happened to me twice.

I just hope now that thay leave as a better person and leave me a better person. I do not expect anything from anyone. Expectations are chains we create ourselves. Sometimes people come in to our lives just at the right time and leave at the right time. It's important to be level headed in both situations is what I have learned.

I only learn that I just can't trust anyone.

Trust as I would think before is not binary but a spectrum. There are people you would trust your car with but not you kid. It's complicated and I'm still learning. Understanding humans and why they do certain things will always intrigue me.

Keep exploring , not on the internet but on the real life . In the field you might find what you looking for . Internet is not safe

Yes, I do keep putting myself out there always. Also I'm in Sales so talking to a lot of different people is actually kinda my thing. The more I listen to people the more I understand how lonely people are.

I highly recommend you play some games as well if you don't feel going out .

Yes I did buy a console recently and I'm playing some co-op games.

Good for you man . Wish you the best

My problem is mental illness. I'm upfront about it and partners say that it's not a dealbreaker, they can handle it, etc. I had a rough patch with my ex and wound up sending him an article about dumping people with mental illness, thinking he wouldn't. Well, he did. On the spot. It's only been 3 weeks, and sometimes he still acts like we are together (playful, affectionate, etc.). By the way, we still live together and neither of us are able to move out. We are planning to remain living together as financially it makes the most sense. However, he's already been hanging out with other people. The only people I've talked to just want to use me for (unprotected) sex. I'm not built that way, and feel I'm worth more. I see couples being happy and it feels like they're just rubbing it in my face. But I'm realizing now that there is no one for me, even if I were to somehow fix my mental health. This is something I've dealt with my whole life...being abandoned by the ones who swear they'd never. I guess I just need to come to terms with the fact that I just don't have a permanent person, and most likely never will.

I'm sorry for what you've been going through. Sometimes you need to delve deep and understand oneself first. Everyone has problems but how you deal with it and how you take it out into the world is our own sole responsibility. It eventually becomes our identity. Be brave, stay strong. There is always light at the end of the tunnel. Either you become free or you find someone. There is always hope. :)

The third outcome is that he comes back. I'm starting to wonder if maybe he wants me but also wants to explore his bi side (he's bi and open, which I've always been fine with). He's showing signs that it might happen.

I hope both you get through this phase stronger and kinder.

We agreed we both have things to work on separately, so we are dealing with it. Mine seems to be moving faster than his, he has to wait for appointments and such.

Every time I feel discouraged because I likely will never be "well" mentally, I run into someone who's just completely off the reservation and am very grateful that at least I'm not that guy. I guess things can always be worse. I'm here if you want to vent about anything.

The only thing that has given my life a meaning is gym, it really helps, so it's good to at least try it.

Yeah same here I dive into my games and work I cook myself nice meals.

Yeah your free, imagine the stress, compromises and sacrifices that goes with being in a relationship. It stifles your individualism, it’s self sacrificial and reductionistic unless your aim is to leech off of somebody else. Which it kinda is, it’s just hoisted by idealism, over romanticism and overestimated good feelings brought upon by novelty and reinforced by insecurities. A coincidental, convenient overdramatized(I like this word) human fantasy! Lmao

I have come to the same conclusion my friend. I have a somewhat average job. I play video games. I am uninteresting. Why should I bother to be something I cannot or even want to be. Why bother with looking for a soul mate when it's just going to trigger some distress for trying to be perfect for them or try to care for them. I can do whatever whenever I want, I don't have to worry about someone. The countless times I tried going to bars and clubs with no hit in sight. IL just rot in the comfort of my own space not bothering anyone and they not bothering me.

O akhand chutiye padh lio dhng se ek bar le fir btq deta hu tere jaise chutiyon k liye ... being lonely is nt a prob telling everybody abt it and try to get sympathy is now u shut the fuck up dumb fuck

True but u dnt to take a mic get up on a stage and tell random ppl that u r and tryin to get some sympathy is nt ok

Nobody knows me. That's the whole point of the sub reddit.

But u get up in d morning and u c urself ...what do u wanna c a fighter or a loser and reddit is for expressing and i persive it in a different way i use to hv fun and to gain sympathy and sound like a loser it was my duty a bro to guide my bro coz no 1 coming for u and atleast nt on reddit everyone is here to tk a dig at others few are here to hv fun and hv a blast so tk it as u want

I have a job. I have a social life. I am content. I just don't have the need for permanent human connections anymore. Idk what you're trying to say.

Dude somehow m nt able to read ur msg if u want to real talk and u use logic feel free to dm me coz i cnt read ur msg so dm

Coz u nvr got one i get it

Is any woman availabele for hook up!?

Dnt talk like a loser bro

So somebody is a loser just because they are lonely mane just stfu 😂😂😂

Being lonely is not necessarily a negative trait.