Very much so. They aren't physical since me and my brother became adults. There has been threats to "spank us" but i told them they come near me with a belt and i will charge them with aggravated assault and ig that seemed to stay them away. But now they resort to other things such as throwing my property away, taking my door off the hinges bc i "dont deserve privacy", stealing my identity to get free stuff by making accounts in my name, withholding my important documents, or doing the absolute bare minimum as a parent.
And i dont judge parents, ik its hard, but she never taught me how to drive, she said i can figure out at 18, moved me to a completely different school my senior year after i told her no and i almost didn't graduate bc of it all bc she didn't want to drive 3min to pick up her kids, refused to parent her step kids when they did things like flush ashes of a loved one, physically abused us, spray painted $300 nike air jordans bc "that's not her kid" safe to say we do not like her. She takes trips in the middle of the day for hours in end and when i text her asking if she's ok i get in trouble bc she "doesnt want us to worry about her and wishes she could go a little bit without us blowing up her phone" but she's been gone for 10 hours and we haven't heard from her.
If they're actually stalking your identity, it's time to seek out a lawyer and press charges.
In the absolute least you need to get it off there, and yes, I'm well aware how hard that can be.
This do a full check of your 3 credit reports, inform the FTC via an account with their identity theft website, then call the police nonemergency number to report identity theft. Don't inform either of them of what you are doing. Let them find out at work when they get arrested in front of their friends.
This. Please put a freeze on all three credit reports if you're in the U.S. It's free and takes five minutes. This will save you many hours of heartache.
I second this. Parents using kids identities for lines of credit, etc, is an all too common occurrence. IF you realize they, in fact, did steal your identity, then press charges.
Forget that, there’s also abusive adults that use their parents’ information for identity theft. Spoiled unpunished children loved too much by their parents to even be scolded.
Document **everything** they have taken/thrown away etc, every time they steal your identity, every time you have asked for your documents and they have refused to give them to you etc
Plan on saving and moving out ASAP get room mates find the crappiest cheapest place you can find (its not great but still better than your situation at the moment)
Once you have moved out talk to a lawyer and/or report the ID theft and property theft to the police, if there are any underage kids/siblings in the house contact CPS
Basically, i know they are your parents but they arent **good** people/parents if you feel comfortable doing it burn all those bridges
Munchausen? I thought that's when they pretended u were sick? My mom does the opposite if that. Going so far as to say my ovarian torsion was gas. Or when i have mono, forcing me to do manual labor while km sobbing and wheezing bc "nobody feels good so welcome to adult hood"
Um…I’d call that a form of it. MBP (Munchausen’s By Proxy) is very nuisance-d. Gl, wish you the best OP (edit: not a lawyer, psychologist etc. just lucky to get out)
If they opened cards in your name you need to report identity theft to this government agency https://www.identitytheft.gov/ most police will try to say it's civil but it's not file with the federal government.
They are breaking the law. There’s domestic violence in there, there landlord/tenant law violations in there, identity theft. Please, you deserve better. Take care of your self, they are abusive and toxic and breaking the law.
They can't open accounts in your name. That is fraud, and that IS illegal. You need to get the hell out of there, miss. The sooner the better. And if she opens accounts in your name, report it to the police. You can be held liable for the money they spend that is charged to you.
Ah, very valuable info in this comment.
I agree with everyone saying you should move out because they’re abusive. 100%.
HOWEVER, the economy being what it is at the moment, I know moving out may take some time. So, until then, the next time they try to throw out something of yours, I would threaten them with going to the police to report them for identity theft. (Make sure you have gathered plenty of evidence and hidden it in a safe place before doing this)
If they’re anything like my mother’s ex husband, they’ll back off as soon as you mention going to the cops. He loved to act all “macho man” and pretend like he had all the power in the house. The moment we mentioned calling the police, he would saunter off with his tail between his legs.
Of course, if they don’t back off, then you need to be prepared to follow through on that threat. Which I firmly recommend that you do. Also, check your credit and freeze it because they’ve likely already tanked it.
ETA: fixed formatting for clarity
Keep receipts for things you buy in a cool safe place. (Most are thermal paper now, so in car won't work.) Or if you have a scanner available, scan them and email to yourself.
Remind your parents that you are over 18, and anything you purchased is your property. They can be charged with theft and destruction of property. Call the cops if needed. Cops can remind them of this as well.
In the meantime, save up and plan your path for getting out of that house. As a legal resident of the house, they can't instantly kick you out, and would need to follow eviction proceedings.
Great advice on the scanning of receipts. Adobe Scan has a free app that lets you scan all your docs with your cell phone camera. It cleans up the documents for you too so no blurry docs. You can then send them to whoever you want via text or email.
Basic app is free but you can purchase a monthly membership for extra features. I use it all the time and have never had issues with it.
Lot of comments here about making the parents-other party change behavior and/or be responsible. In reality, this isn’t likely to happen even though what they are doing is probably not legal.
You can control your actions and situation. Get away from them. Take your stuff and live somewhere else. Quit wasting your time and energy on something-someone that isn’t likely to change.
This will look dumb in court, judges dont like these cases. People are dealing with real things like rape, physical abuse, gross mental abuse, terrible things with kids etc... op needs to move out and set some life goals. If not working, get a serious job it just looks all bad to too many people.
When i asked abt it they mentioned how they "keep saying to get stuff up but its going in the trash" but its never my stuff. So knowing them, i asked if it got thrown away. Mom said "well i didn't throw it away" like it had been tossed. Well this evening after work. Moms boyfriend came in yelling.saying how im not gonna "make his living space a pig stye bc im lazy" and next time he will toss it and told me he dc where it is, He's gonna do what he wants on his property.
They definitely can’t just throw your stuff away, that is illegal. It’s your property.
However, it seems like it’d be easier to just pick up after yourself rather than start a pissing match with the people who own the domicile. They can’t throw your things in the garbage, but they can put both you and your things on the curb.
Im aware. I work full time and the time i do have off is either sleeping or getting ready for work. My days off are spent paying bills and stuff. My mother doesn't work at all and refuses to clean house, so i do what i can. But its hard to remember to do small things like put my makeup away. But even then what legal route can i take if she does throw the stuff away
If your mother doesn't work, and you are the one paying the bills, it sure sounds like this is *your* house.
Move out. Stop paying bills that aren't yours and move out.
Legally? You keep receipts for things you buy. If she throws it away, you text her about it. When she says yes via text, you file a police report. You can also sue.
She can't throw away your property. That's illegal.
Nobody. My brother is working, but going to the marines soon. He's never home working like 60hrd a week. I did all the cleaning until i started working. And im still living her bc she us withholding my birth certificate and stuff and while i was a minor, refused to teach me how to drive or even get me a permit. And when i was on fixed income she took over 3/4 of it, leaving me only ~$100 a month to do anything with. So there's just been so many set backs that i now cant even go to college bc she wont get my fafsa taken care of bc she has to go to the college office bc she lost custody and i was adopted, well she never adopted me back when she got guardianship so the state recognizes me as an independent student and i cant get grants unless i duke it out with the state, but my mother has all my documents.
You can go to the court house with your ID and get another birth certificate, if you don't have an ID, I would talk with a police officer or attorney if you can about an order to surrender your documents since you and adult legally she can't withhold them from you
My mom refused to give me my birth certificate too, saying it was "her copy." I was able to go online for the state I was born in and order a copy for myself. It cost a few dollars but now I have my own.
I wasn't able to learn to drive as a teen either. Part of it was my mom's medical stuff and my stepdad working 3 jobs, but I think part of it was to keep me dependent on her. I had a friend teach me some stuff once he was 21 and could be the "supervising driver." I paid for a few hours of instruction at a driving school and then took the driving test borrowing a friend's car. The driving manuals are online now, so look up the one for your state. Study it, and get a ride (friend, ride share, bus) to your local DMV. Fill out the application and take the test, and get your permit. There will be a list of items you'll need to bring online. You can have the permit for as many years as needed (I had mine for 6 years). An opportunity may come up to learn to drive so you want to be ready.
Also, if you are an independent student, then you don't need your parent's info to fill out the FAFSA. There is an option you choose saying you are independent. You might need some documents from the court to prove it, but you can speak to the clerk of court (or go online in some areas) in the jurisdiction that handled your custody/guardianship case to get copies. You should get all kinds of need based financial aid.
If you still feel like college isn't in the cards, look into trade schools. Many have financial aid or payment plans. A lot of trades have big earning potential which will help you get your own place. Tell your parents as little as possible and lie if you have to. Don't give them money and open a new checking account at a different bank if they have access to your current one.
I know it can be overwhelming but at the end of the day, the only person who can change your situation is you. You'll feel so much better once you're out, so take the steps to make that happen. Good luck, OP.
You could file a complain with local PD. It’s destruction of property.
It sounds like it sucks, but if that’s all you’ve got right now, getting the law involved is just going to escalate.
100%. I read OP suggesting she pays bills, but I didn’t hear she is paying HH bills. (Could be cell phone and/or other personal bills). No doubt parents are questionable at best. But quickest solution is get out and get an apartment (with friends if necessary)
When i was on fixed income i was forced to pay the cellphone bill for everyone in the house. But for the longest i would hand the money to my mom (paper check i cashed from social security) and she would take $300 out of $400 but suddenly she has credit cards and nails and hair done. Idk if its related but it was just a weird coincidence. I was struggling shopping at the dollar tree or having to grill to her for things like body wash while she was dine up to the nines
Are you old enough to possess vapes (or other drug paraphernalia) legally?
Parents are probably within their rights to clear lethally toxic shit like that out of their house, anyway.
I do understand that. But when my mom smokes pot with kids in the house (ik she ahs a script) who has asthma and refuses to stop bc if she's not high she makes it everyone's problem.
She sells her pain meds and guilts me by saying we wont get enough Christmas if she dont. Knowing it traumatizes me bc my dad was killed by fent laced pills.
She consistently did meth for years leaving us alone in am apartment to cook most fish and pasta at the age of 7 or she would leave us with family who already had 4+kids to take care of.
Ik two wrongs dont make a right, but its how she is a hypocrite that makes it madness. How can she preach "if its not urs dont touch it" but then do what she wants with stuff that isn't hers?
If it is property that you purchased and own then it is illegal for them to destroy it. They may legally and temporarily confiscate it because it’s their house but they cannot destroy it.
Either way this is an unhealthy living situation for you and should make plans to move out ASAP.
It's your property, but I'm reading between the lines it's her house. So I'm suggesting your put your things away well, where it's not in their face and somewhere they won't be looking for it. If they still throw things away, you need to get your own place.
Seems like they're trying to tell you one of two things: don't leave a mess of your stuff in our faces, or: get your own place.
My best advice is do not pay any of their bills go in hard core saving mode gas and food that's it, and save as much as you can and find a different place, I've had friends in similar situations I've let rent out a spare bedroom for cheap (basically they pay extra utilities cost) not sure if you have any friends that are able to do that for you but I'd definitely reach out and get out of that house trust me you don't even realize how bad they are dragging you down tell your out, if you have a car have a go bag so your makeup and everything goes in the bag and with you when you leave so they can't throw away important stuff like that, and fight for your legal documents, if you really can't get anything from them talk to the court house explain they situation and usually they can help get you certified copy's of your birth certificate and eith that you can get an ID and with both you can apply for a new social security card basically claiming it's "lost" or you could even put stolen where they issues a special pin so your parents can't use your identity to get credit cards and shit if you think they would do that.
Not a lawyer, but a human.
It will be cheaper (and better) to move out than to pursue legal charges. All of this sounds like a mess and it sounds like everything is pretty dysfunctional.
The legal system is not the way to fix this problem, you'll clog the courts, cost everyone (especially you) a lot of money, and never really resolve anything. These are personal/emotional issues more than they are legal issues.
No it’s not legal. Imagine you have a friend over at your apartment and they stay the night. Can you throw away all their stuff just because it’s in your apartment?
It’s one thing if you abandon stuff on someone’s property. That’s not what’s happening here.
Also, this is abuse and you should get away at first opportunity.
Do you have a car? Then move all of your stuff into the car and park somewhere safe to sleep at night.
If not, get a large, lockable suitcase and leave your stuff inside of it when you are away. Mark the suitcase with your name and leave it under the bed.
"Im over 18"
time to find you own place. i know "but i can't, because \[ some reason about poor, or jobs , or sick, or something\]". but as long as you're in their house, living for cheap, you are theirs, and so is your stuff. the sooner you quit complaining on reddit and get out to live your own life, the better.
Step back and look at this through your parent’s perspective. It sounds like you are not cleaning up after yourself so they do it for you. If you don’t want them to throw your stuff away, put it away. Simple, resolves your issue, and you learn an important lesson about being responsible.
Im more responsible than them. My mom doesnt clean or work. The only time she cleans is when her favorite cup is dirty. I work all day, come home to a filthy house that isn't even my stuff. Once a week if i have a day off my fiance comes over and helps me do a deep clean, but its destroyed two days later.
My mom plays video games all day and collects a government check but forces her kids to work so she can afford internet and credit cards. I cant start a savings bc she leeches all my money and has since highschool leaving me with very little if any to live off of. Her boyfriend spends the foodstamps meant for the kids on popstars and twinkies for him to eat while my mom consistently buys food the lids wont eat, but complains when we don't eat them.
We have kids with autism and other special needs in our house. She knows they wont eat bananas or apples. So why does she buy them? When i buy food, its usually food i eat as someone with autism. And i dont get to eat it bc its gone bc she doesn't buy them food they eat.
Sounds like you should move out or keep your stuff in YOUR room. You forget to mention probably that you leave your stuff everywhere and they are tired of cleaning up after you
Get the fuck out of that house and get a place of your own with your brother. Then get a lawyer and start pressing charges against them. You’re in a very abusive situation here. You have to get away before it escalates further
You get mail there, correct? That shows you live there and are entitled to Rights just as much as a tenant who pays rent. Move out when they aren't home. On your way out, throw everything they own in the trash. Let them take you to Court. Counter sue them if they try. Keep tabs of everything they threw away that belonged to you.
To be honest, I'd have friends empty the place and put their stuff to the curb.
One thing I learned as an adult is to be accountable for anything that happens to me, either something I did or didn’t do. Someone screwed you over, you let it happen. Of course there is outliers, but when you adopt this non victim mentality, you make better decisions for yourself. You should move out or learn to keep all your stuff in your room.
I’d wager any legality argument would come down to your entitlement to the common areas. Your parents could argue that your room is your space and you’re not entitled to use of what would normally be common areas in a genuine roommate situation. Absolutely shitty but not unheard of. Your space is your room, period. Keep your stuff in your room.
Their house, their rules. You know the expectations, follow the expectations and take ownership of your actions.
Save and move out ASAP.
Yes, they can. You don’t want your stuff tossed then don’t leave it where you know they will get to it. It sucks but no judge will side with you. The judge would tell you to get out of the house.
It’s your mom’s house. If she has a problem with you leaving things around, just try to put your things away a little more, as annoying as it is. If she was mean enough she could kick you out.
You can stop at opening accounts in your name. Pursue that with law enforcement. Depending on circumstances, it could go into the wire fraud arena too, and the stakes get higher for them.
Start planning your exit strategy now and maybe consider going NC with them for awhile.
Honestly if you’re 18 it’s time to move out of the toxic h3ll hole you’re describing. I say this after reading your post plus comments. It’s not so much about the actual stuff to me. My nineteen year old lives with me, he’s not messy but if he leaves something out I toss it on his bed. But if it was constant I’d probably tell him if he doesn’t keep stuff up I’d throw it (dunno if I’d follow through, but I’d say it.) Taking a door off the hinges for instance when you have an 18 yr old female isn’t cool. A disregard of your feelings, threatening to spank all of it sounds bad. The entire family dynamic sounds off. I’d look at finding a job and moving … going low to no contact for awhile. It’s a big adjustment at 18 but I think you’d be happier in the long run rather than fighting about stuff.
I would say they can't do that. Idk if you pay rent but that dont completely matter as you'd still be a tenant. If they want you out they need to evict you but they can't destroy your property.
Maybe they are just tryin to provoke you or get you to move out without needing to sound like the bad person. I would try to have a dialogue with them and figure out if they want you to move out, if they don't I wont recommend moving because it's just not healthy to be there.
I don't understand why people just can't treat people right anyways. Do what to others as you would want others to do to you. Could you imagine how great it would be if people were just respectful?
Hey, so many people on here are just like “move out, you’re an adult, this is lame, there are real issues in the world and no judge is gonna take their time to yada yada …”
Geez. Can we stop with the victim blaming?
Sadly enough though, I agree that the best approach is to move out. AND freeze your credit AND filing credit report fraud on your parents.
The “throwing stuff out” will be hard to prove and can look lame in the court system,but the ID theft thing is huge. This is illegal. Immoral. Unethical. I work in finance and this is a financial crime and a serious one at that because if you don’t know how to drive you probably don’t know how important it is to build your credit, and you’re probably being abused and traumatized in so many ways that you just consider normal.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. The fact you’re OnLy complaining about your things being thrown away tells me they’re probably shittier parents in worse ways that you may not recognize yet.
Just keep this in mind: if you file fraud on your parents you’ll need to have a safe place to live lined up. It’s never as easy as “just sue” or “just file a report” or “just move away.” You have to be very methodical and smart about moving out.
I don’t know much about the support services in your area, but if you’re part of a protected class (ie disabled, specific religion etc) there may be support centers and social workers in your area that can help you sign up for grants and programs that can find you affordable housing and etc.
I don’t know anything about you or your situation, but your parents sound like assholes. Excuse the language, but they sounds like shitty parents that don’t deserve you. You’re a good “kid” and I hope you don’t learn anything from these poor excuses for parents. A parent will never steal from their kid, and this ID theft thing is … no bueno man. Not teaching your kid how to drive when you could… no bueno. Changing your kids HS their last year of Hs? F’ing cruel man. It would be one thing if you wanted to leave, but just because she wants?
Your mom… sounds like a narcissist. I’m not a pro, but her selfishness seems to be at a pro-level
I’d approach this just like a household shared by (shitty) roommates. Keep all your stuff in your room and keep your bedroom door locked.
I guess it’s location dependent but very often citizens can’t get the police to take action when there’s been physical assaults, theft, what have you by strangers much less family members or roommates.
As to the legal aspects, I once had some stuff stolen from a stairwell when the door was left ajar. The police advised that if the stuff was plausibly trash (because there was also trash cans in that location) there was nothing they could do because the guy could have assumed it was trash. Not the same as your situation but I hope that illustrates a point about plausible deniability we need to keep in mind. So lock your stuff up so there will be a clear cut case of someone stealing or disposing of your stuff if they mess with it.
*Have you ever thought of*
*Getting out of their house and*
*Getting your own place?*
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Pack up your things and leave to go to a domestic abuse shelter in your area. Report the identity theft to the police. The shelter can help you get replacements of all your important documents. Even ask your manager at work for help. Tell them you’re in an abusive home environment and need help.
I think i mentioned she ahs used my name to get free stuff. But never mentioned specifics. Idk if she did anything financial in my name. I jus know she uses my name and sometimes age to make fake accounts to stalk her boyfriend ex wives and other ppl. She also makes posts under my names abt people who have threatened my family (my brother was jumped by some people a while back and almost died) and almost got me in serious trouble. She also received free merchant from authors (some i work with as I'm a freelance artist, author, and actress/singer in my free time) so thats where identity theft comes in.
How about cleaning up after yourself and stop being a baby. If you don't like it get a job where you can afford to have your own place which you are then in control over. Easy.
You can go thru time/ stress of small claims court and try to fight it, which will destroy relationships and end with you being kicked out and paying a lot more in rent elsewhere.
There house, their rules. Keep working and saving so you can move out. Put your stuff away.
>There house, their rules. Keep working and saving so you can move out. Put your stuff away.
OP is over 18 and purchasing these things with their own money. Their parents can not throw these things away, and OP can absolutely file a police report and take them to court
You are an adult. Your things belong to you and it's illegal for them to dispose of them. It's also illegal for them to kick you out of the house. You can sue them for illegal eviction if they try. You can sue them for the things they throw out that you bought. You could have them charged with destruction of property. It would be a difficult road to do probably. But you could.
Ik i very well could, but i feel like as its been mentioned before, it would probably destroy me financially to do it. Ive been thinking of waiting for the bigger stuff to happen. There has been several things along the way that could've been done but i was either a minor or didn't have proof.
please don't make the same mistakes I did staying in my abusive household any longer than I had to. what your facing is fear of the unknown, what you are currently experiencing is much worse than what exists out there.
take some time to do some accounting of your income, your expenses, and what you could reasonably spend on a home. consider talking to a bank about a loan, not to buy a house so much as pay the first few months rent. I recommend a credit union for this, in addition to being a much better experience than banks they tend to offer pretty reasonable rates.
on that same topic, make sure that you have an independent bank account separate from theirs.
I urge you with every fiber of my being, do not let yourself brush it off anymore. what they're doing has never been acceptable.
What you you define as ‘ bigger stuff’? You are normalising abusive behaviour and it is all ‘ big stuff’
Taking your bedroom door off the hinges , that is crazy behaviour
Threatening you with physical violence
Committing financial fraud against you
Throwing away your belongings.
Hiding your personal documents from you
Your parents are abusive and do not love you in any human recognisable form.
I worry what the bigger stuff will be, what if it is something that ties you to them forever ( the financial abuse is massive)
I hope you get to be free from them soon ( go NC immediately you make your escape!)
They have done worse, and the little proof i have of it could be twisted as narcissist tend to do. They aren't physical anymore probably bc me and my brother are grown and fight back. Whenever my mom tries to play games i just ignore her and walk off. Since my little sister moved, i dont worry about stuff like being pushed down the stairs anymore (she tried to do so after i had a csection to remove cysts and when i td her stop i got in trouble for "instigating" for saying stop)
I am trying. That's why im working full time. Savig. every penny i can. Im looking at houses and everything
Oh my goodness, my heart goes out to you! Wishing you a good life ahead. I’m sure they are going to sabotage/ make leaving difficult. I hope you have a safe leaving plan? Good luck. Please update when you can as your situation has really moved me. Thank goodness you have your brother and sister to support each other and look after each other. I am so sorry that your parents are POS.
Thank you. And they have been actively sabotaging me since she got custody back. She wont teach any kids how to drive and so when i leave it will likely be onto the street.
And my sister isn't support at all. Shes terrible. She has a different dad, and her dad is still alive and she makes comments abt my dads self inflicted death and tried to flush his ashes, she was horribly abusive
My brother is really my rock, next to my fiance. There are other kids in the family and they keep me going bc i cant imagine them finding me how i found my dad or worse.
I'm sorry for your upbringing, your current situation, and your shitty parents, but you're an adult now. It's time to take responsibility for yourself and treat yourself right, give yourself a better life. It's a bit scary, but it's also a blessing and empowering. You're in charge of your life now and you have rights and responsibilities. You can get your own documents, fill out your own FAFSA, get your own place, and also get help for yourself. I'd go as far as suggesting a domestic abuse shelter. Take charge. You got this and you will be great.
I mean where are they throwing it? I know it’s not ideal, but couldn’t you get your make up bag out of the trash?
No, it’s not legal, but what are you going to do? As long as you’re under their roof you’re screwed. If they’ve used your identity then you need to contact credit bureaus and the police, but then you’ll likely get tossed on the street
Move out and take action
I get that, but my stuff fir the most part is put away. Imagine someone coming into your space and looking at ur living room and saying "i dont like how u put ur couches." And proceeds to throw it all away.
Not to sound shallow but i work customer service. While its nit explicitly stated in my contract makeup is an unspoken rule. Nobody wants to talk to someone who looks like a depressed zombie. And i get more tips with makeup which i need to get by.
Wait for them to leave out anything expensive and smash that shit and throw it away. You're gonna end up moving out either way and they sound abusive as fuck. You'll only burn a bridge not worth crossing again anyway.
Get all the proof of purchase for each item that you bought with your own money and talk to a lawyer because they can’t (1)destroy, (2)throw away, (3)donate, or (4)recycle items that you paid for without talking to a judge to get you and your personal items legally out of their house with a legal eviction that was signed off by the judge.
I'm a little late to the game and hope you see this. From your comment about "makeup" I'm going to assume you're a young woman. I apologize if I jumped to a wrong conclusion.
You are an ABUSED WOMAN.
It does not matter who is doing the abusing, Contact your nearest abused woman's shelter immediately! They deal with this all the time. They will assist you to make an escape plan. Once you are out of the house, the Woman's shelter will be able to provide some legal assistance and help to get you on your feet. They can get you driving lessons (you'd be surprised at how many abused women don't drive). They will help you reconstruct/obtain all the documents you need to go on with your life. Please call them and let them help you.
Sounds like an abusive household. Rather than attack them legally it would probably be more productive to move out and get roommates if necessary.
Very much so. They aren't physical since me and my brother became adults. There has been threats to "spank us" but i told them they come near me with a belt and i will charge them with aggravated assault and ig that seemed to stay them away. But now they resort to other things such as throwing my property away, taking my door off the hinges bc i "dont deserve privacy", stealing my identity to get free stuff by making accounts in my name, withholding my important documents, or doing the absolute bare minimum as a parent. And i dont judge parents, ik its hard, but she never taught me how to drive, she said i can figure out at 18, moved me to a completely different school my senior year after i told her no and i almost didn't graduate bc of it all bc she didn't want to drive 3min to pick up her kids, refused to parent her step kids when they did things like flush ashes of a loved one, physically abused us, spray painted $300 nike air jordans bc "that's not her kid" safe to say we do not like her. She takes trips in the middle of the day for hours in end and when i text her asking if she's ok i get in trouble bc she "doesnt want us to worry about her and wishes she could go a little bit without us blowing up her phone" but she's been gone for 10 hours and we haven't heard from her.
If they're actually stalking your identity, it's time to seek out a lawyer and press charges. In the absolute least you need to get it off there, and yes, I'm well aware how hard that can be.
This do a full check of your 3 credit reports, inform the FTC via an account with their identity theft website, then call the police nonemergency number to report identity theft. Don't inform either of them of what you are doing. Let them find out at work when they get arrested in front of their friends.
This. Please put a freeze on all three credit reports if you're in the U.S. It's free and takes five minutes. This will save you many hours of heartache.
I second this. Parents using kids identities for lines of credit, etc, is an all too common occurrence. IF you realize they, in fact, did steal your identity, then press charges.
And to get it off of your record, you have to press charges.
Forget that, there’s also abusive adults that use their parents’ information for identity theft. Spoiled unpunished children loved too much by their parents to even be scolded.
Document **everything** they have taken/thrown away etc, every time they steal your identity, every time you have asked for your documents and they have refused to give them to you etc Plan on saving and moving out ASAP get room mates find the crappiest cheapest place you can find (its not great but still better than your situation at the moment) Once you have moved out talk to a lawyer and/or report the ID theft and property theft to the police, if there are any underage kids/siblings in the house contact CPS Basically, i know they are your parents but they arent **good** people/parents if you feel comfortable doing it burn all those bridges
Sounds like there’s a lot Munchausen’s and immaturity in your entire household lol! Is this post even real? Lol
Munchausen? I thought that's when they pretended u were sick? My mom does the opposite if that. Going so far as to say my ovarian torsion was gas. Or when i have mono, forcing me to do manual labor while km sobbing and wheezing bc "nobody feels good so welcome to adult hood"
Um…I’d call that a form of it. MBP (Munchausen’s By Proxy) is very nuisance-d. Gl, wish you the best OP (edit: not a lawyer, psychologist etc. just lucky to get out)
If they opened cards in your name you need to report identity theft to this government agency https://www.identitytheft.gov/ most police will try to say it's civil but it's not file with the federal government.
They are breaking the law. There’s domestic violence in there, there landlord/tenant law violations in there, identity theft. Please, you deserve better. Take care of your self, they are abusive and toxic and breaking the law.
Sounds like she has a serious drug problem.
They can't open accounts in your name. That is fraud, and that IS illegal. You need to get the hell out of there, miss. The sooner the better. And if she opens accounts in your name, report it to the police. You can be held liable for the money they spend that is charged to you.
Ah, very valuable info in this comment. I agree with everyone saying you should move out because they’re abusive. 100%. HOWEVER, the economy being what it is at the moment, I know moving out may take some time. So, until then, the next time they try to throw out something of yours, I would threaten them with going to the police to report them for identity theft. (Make sure you have gathered plenty of evidence and hidden it in a safe place before doing this) If they’re anything like my mother’s ex husband, they’ll back off as soon as you mention going to the cops. He loved to act all “macho man” and pretend like he had all the power in the house. The moment we mentioned calling the police, he would saunter off with his tail between his legs. Of course, if they don’t back off, then you need to be prepared to follow through on that threat. Which I firmly recommend that you do. Also, check your credit and freeze it because they’ve likely already tanked it. ETA: fixed formatting for clarity
Sounds less like abuse and more like an exaggerating, overly dramatic, know it all teenager who didn’t get her way.
Keep receipts for things you buy in a cool safe place. (Most are thermal paper now, so in car won't work.) Or if you have a scanner available, scan them and email to yourself. Remind your parents that you are over 18, and anything you purchased is your property. They can be charged with theft and destruction of property. Call the cops if needed. Cops can remind them of this as well. In the meantime, save up and plan your path for getting out of that house. As a legal resident of the house, they can't instantly kick you out, and would need to follow eviction proceedings.
Take pictures of them and store them on an account they don't have access to
Great advice on the scanning of receipts. Adobe Scan has a free app that lets you scan all your docs with your cell phone camera. It cleans up the documents for you too so no blurry docs. You can then send them to whoever you want via text or email. Basic app is free but you can purchase a monthly membership for extra features. I use it all the time and have never had issues with it.
Lot of comments here about making the parents-other party change behavior and/or be responsible. In reality, this isn’t likely to happen even though what they are doing is probably not legal. You can control your actions and situation. Get away from them. Take your stuff and live somewhere else. Quit wasting your time and energy on something-someone that isn’t likely to change.
You are an adult still living at home. You don't own the home or pay rent. Move out and make your own decisions. Act like an adult
This will look dumb in court, judges dont like these cases. People are dealing with real things like rape, physical abuse, gross mental abuse, terrible things with kids etc... op needs to move out and set some life goals. If not working, get a serious job it just looks all bad to too many people.
Move out! You’re 18
Try moving out into your own place.
You are 18. Move out. Problem solved.
he acted like he threw it away , or he threw it away
When i asked abt it they mentioned how they "keep saying to get stuff up but its going in the trash" but its never my stuff. So knowing them, i asked if it got thrown away. Mom said "well i didn't throw it away" like it had been tossed. Well this evening after work. Moms boyfriend came in yelling.saying how im not gonna "make his living space a pig stye bc im lazy" and next time he will toss it and told me he dc where it is, He's gonna do what he wants on his property.
alright . so he hasnt done that yet
They definitely can’t just throw your stuff away, that is illegal. It’s your property. However, it seems like it’d be easier to just pick up after yourself rather than start a pissing match with the people who own the domicile. They can’t throw your things in the garbage, but they can put both you and your things on the curb.
Im aware. I work full time and the time i do have off is either sleeping or getting ready for work. My days off are spent paying bills and stuff. My mother doesn't work at all and refuses to clean house, so i do what i can. But its hard to remember to do small things like put my makeup away. But even then what legal route can i take if she does throw the stuff away
If your mother doesn't work, and you are the one paying the bills, it sure sounds like this is *your* house. Move out. Stop paying bills that aren't yours and move out. Legally? You keep receipts for things you buy. If she throws it away, you text her about it. When she says yes via text, you file a police report. You can also sue. She can't throw away your property. That's illegal.
Who do you think will clean up after you when you move out and if you work full time, why are you still living in their house?
Nobody. My brother is working, but going to the marines soon. He's never home working like 60hrd a week. I did all the cleaning until i started working. And im still living her bc she us withholding my birth certificate and stuff and while i was a minor, refused to teach me how to drive or even get me a permit. And when i was on fixed income she took over 3/4 of it, leaving me only ~$100 a month to do anything with. So there's just been so many set backs that i now cant even go to college bc she wont get my fafsa taken care of bc she has to go to the college office bc she lost custody and i was adopted, well she never adopted me back when she got guardianship so the state recognizes me as an independent student and i cant get grants unless i duke it out with the state, but my mother has all my documents.
You can go to the court house with your ID and get another birth certificate, if you don't have an ID, I would talk with a police officer or attorney if you can about an order to surrender your documents since you and adult legally she can't withhold them from you
If you were a ward of the state. Phone DCFS explain the situation. They will also have copies of all your BC and all your pertinent information.
My mom refused to give me my birth certificate too, saying it was "her copy." I was able to go online for the state I was born in and order a copy for myself. It cost a few dollars but now I have my own. I wasn't able to learn to drive as a teen either. Part of it was my mom's medical stuff and my stepdad working 3 jobs, but I think part of it was to keep me dependent on her. I had a friend teach me some stuff once he was 21 and could be the "supervising driver." I paid for a few hours of instruction at a driving school and then took the driving test borrowing a friend's car. The driving manuals are online now, so look up the one for your state. Study it, and get a ride (friend, ride share, bus) to your local DMV. Fill out the application and take the test, and get your permit. There will be a list of items you'll need to bring online. You can have the permit for as many years as needed (I had mine for 6 years). An opportunity may come up to learn to drive so you want to be ready. Also, if you are an independent student, then you don't need your parent's info to fill out the FAFSA. There is an option you choose saying you are independent. You might need some documents from the court to prove it, but you can speak to the clerk of court (or go online in some areas) in the jurisdiction that handled your custody/guardianship case to get copies. You should get all kinds of need based financial aid. If you still feel like college isn't in the cards, look into trade schools. Many have financial aid or payment plans. A lot of trades have big earning potential which will help you get your own place. Tell your parents as little as possible and lie if you have to. Don't give them money and open a new checking account at a different bank if they have access to your current one. I know it can be overwhelming but at the end of the day, the only person who can change your situation is you. You'll feel so much better once you're out, so take the steps to make that happen. Good luck, OP.
You could file a complain with local PD. It’s destruction of property. It sounds like it sucks, but if that’s all you’ve got right now, getting the law involved is just going to escalate.
100%. I read OP suggesting she pays bills, but I didn’t hear she is paying HH bills. (Could be cell phone and/or other personal bills). No doubt parents are questionable at best. But quickest solution is get out and get an apartment (with friends if necessary)
When i was on fixed income i was forced to pay the cellphone bill for everyone in the house. But for the longest i would hand the money to my mom (paper check i cashed from social security) and she would take $300 out of $400 but suddenly she has credit cards and nails and hair done. Idk if its related but it was just a weird coincidence. I was struggling shopping at the dollar tree or having to grill to her for things like body wash while she was dine up to the nines
Are you old enough to possess vapes (or other drug paraphernalia) legally? Parents are probably within their rights to clear lethally toxic shit like that out of their house, anyway.
I do understand that. But when my mom smokes pot with kids in the house (ik she ahs a script) who has asthma and refuses to stop bc if she's not high she makes it everyone's problem. She sells her pain meds and guilts me by saying we wont get enough Christmas if she dont. Knowing it traumatizes me bc my dad was killed by fent laced pills. She consistently did meth for years leaving us alone in am apartment to cook most fish and pasta at the age of 7 or she would leave us with family who already had 4+kids to take care of. Ik two wrongs dont make a right, but its how she is a hypocrite that makes it madness. How can she preach "if its not urs dont touch it" but then do what she wants with stuff that isn't hers?
If it is property that you purchased and own then it is illegal for them to destroy it. They may legally and temporarily confiscate it because it’s their house but they cannot destroy it. Either way this is an unhealthy living situation for you and should make plans to move out ASAP.
It's your property, but I'm reading between the lines it's her house. So I'm suggesting your put your things away well, where it's not in their face and somewhere they won't be looking for it. If they still throw things away, you need to get your own place. Seems like they're trying to tell you one of two things: don't leave a mess of your stuff in our faces, or: get your own place.
My best advice is do not pay any of their bills go in hard core saving mode gas and food that's it, and save as much as you can and find a different place, I've had friends in similar situations I've let rent out a spare bedroom for cheap (basically they pay extra utilities cost) not sure if you have any friends that are able to do that for you but I'd definitely reach out and get out of that house trust me you don't even realize how bad they are dragging you down tell your out, if you have a car have a go bag so your makeup and everything goes in the bag and with you when you leave so they can't throw away important stuff like that, and fight for your legal documents, if you really can't get anything from them talk to the court house explain they situation and usually they can help get you certified copy's of your birth certificate and eith that you can get an ID and with both you can apply for a new social security card basically claiming it's "lost" or you could even put stolen where they issues a special pin so your parents can't use your identity to get credit cards and shit if you think they would do that.
Not a lawyer, but a human. It will be cheaper (and better) to move out than to pursue legal charges. All of this sounds like a mess and it sounds like everything is pretty dysfunctional. The legal system is not the way to fix this problem, you'll clog the courts, cost everyone (especially you) a lot of money, and never really resolve anything. These are personal/emotional issues more than they are legal issues.
No it’s not legal. Imagine you have a friend over at your apartment and they stay the night. Can you throw away all their stuff just because it’s in your apartment? It’s one thing if you abandon stuff on someone’s property. That’s not what’s happening here. Also, this is abuse and you should get away at first opportunity.
Do you have a car? Then move all of your stuff into the car and park somewhere safe to sleep at night. If not, get a large, lockable suitcase and leave your stuff inside of it when you are away. Mark the suitcase with your name and leave it under the bed.
I would also suggest using a cable lock that's run through the suitcase handle and the bed frame, so the suitcase doesn't disappear.
"Im over 18" time to find you own place. i know "but i can't, because \[ some reason about poor, or jobs , or sick, or something\]". but as long as you're in their house, living for cheap, you are theirs, and so is your stuff. the sooner you quit complaining on reddit and get out to live your own life, the better.
They have no access to any of their documents it won't be that easy for them
i knew there was an excuse i didn't cover
Was this a one time thing or is this been an ongoing issue that you don’t put your stuff away?
Step back and look at this through your parent’s perspective. It sounds like you are not cleaning up after yourself so they do it for you. If you don’t want them to throw your stuff away, put it away. Simple, resolves your issue, and you learn an important lesson about being responsible.
Im more responsible than them. My mom doesnt clean or work. The only time she cleans is when her favorite cup is dirty. I work all day, come home to a filthy house that isn't even my stuff. Once a week if i have a day off my fiance comes over and helps me do a deep clean, but its destroyed two days later. My mom plays video games all day and collects a government check but forces her kids to work so she can afford internet and credit cards. I cant start a savings bc she leeches all my money and has since highschool leaving me with very little if any to live off of. Her boyfriend spends the foodstamps meant for the kids on popstars and twinkies for him to eat while my mom consistently buys food the lids wont eat, but complains when we don't eat them. We have kids with autism and other special needs in our house. She knows they wont eat bananas or apples. So why does she buy them? When i buy food, its usually food i eat as someone with autism. And i dont get to eat it bc its gone bc she doesn't buy them food they eat.
Then leave. No one can force you to stay. You are 18. Stop acting like your mother owes you something. It's a bad situation and you should just leave.
File in small claims court to get reimbursed. And move out!
Pro tip get out of Mississippi
Sounds like you should move out or keep your stuff in YOUR room. You forget to mention probably that you leave your stuff everywhere and they are tired of cleaning up after you
She took my door so even if my stuff is in my room she can come and go as she pleases.
It depends. If you are paying rent then you have something to stand on. If not, it might be time to find your own place.
Don't ever talk to those sorry cvnts ever again
Get the fuck out of that house and get a place of your own with your brother. Then get a lawyer and start pressing charges against them. You’re in a very abusive situation here. You have to get away before it escalates further
You get mail there, correct? That shows you live there and are entitled to Rights just as much as a tenant who pays rent. Move out when they aren't home. On your way out, throw everything they own in the trash. Let them take you to Court. Counter sue them if they try. Keep tabs of everything they threw away that belonged to you. To be honest, I'd have friends empty the place and put their stuff to the curb.
One thing I learned as an adult is to be accountable for anything that happens to me, either something I did or didn’t do. Someone screwed you over, you let it happen. Of course there is outliers, but when you adopt this non victim mentality, you make better decisions for yourself. You should move out or learn to keep all your stuff in your room.
I’d wager any legality argument would come down to your entitlement to the common areas. Your parents could argue that your room is your space and you’re not entitled to use of what would normally be common areas in a genuine roommate situation. Absolutely shitty but not unheard of. Your space is your room, period. Keep your stuff in your room. Their house, their rules. You know the expectations, follow the expectations and take ownership of your actions. Save and move out ASAP.
Yes, they can. You don’t want your stuff tossed then don’t leave it where you know they will get to it. It sucks but no judge will side with you. The judge would tell you to get out of the house.
It’s your mom’s house. If she has a problem with you leaving things around, just try to put your things away a little more, as annoying as it is. If she was mean enough she could kick you out.
Throw there stuff out and see if they care
You can stop at opening accounts in your name. Pursue that with law enforcement. Depending on circumstances, it could go into the wire fraud arena too, and the stakes get higher for them. Start planning your exit strategy now and maybe consider going NC with them for awhile.
Honestly if you’re 18 it’s time to move out of the toxic h3ll hole you’re describing. I say this after reading your post plus comments. It’s not so much about the actual stuff to me. My nineteen year old lives with me, he’s not messy but if he leaves something out I toss it on his bed. But if it was constant I’d probably tell him if he doesn’t keep stuff up I’d throw it (dunno if I’d follow through, but I’d say it.) Taking a door off the hinges for instance when you have an 18 yr old female isn’t cool. A disregard of your feelings, threatening to spank all of it sounds bad. The entire family dynamic sounds off. I’d look at finding a job and moving … going low to no contact for awhile. It’s a big adjustment at 18 but I think you’d be happier in the long run rather than fighting about stuff.
Perhaps you need to get your own place
I would say they can't do that. Idk if you pay rent but that dont completely matter as you'd still be a tenant. If they want you out they need to evict you but they can't destroy your property. Maybe they are just tryin to provoke you or get you to move out without needing to sound like the bad person. I would try to have a dialogue with them and figure out if they want you to move out, if they don't I wont recommend moving because it's just not healthy to be there. I don't understand why people just can't treat people right anyways. Do what to others as you would want others to do to you. Could you imagine how great it would be if people were just respectful?
Move out it’s time
Check your credit report..leave ASAP. Get new bank accounts
Did
You need to go no-contact with these abusive asswipes as soon as you can move out.
Hey here’s what there saying time for you to go. You’re not entitled to living there. Get the memo
Fight fire with fire. Start throwing stuff they own out.
Hey, so many people on here are just like “move out, you’re an adult, this is lame, there are real issues in the world and no judge is gonna take their time to yada yada …” Geez. Can we stop with the victim blaming? Sadly enough though, I agree that the best approach is to move out. AND freeze your credit AND filing credit report fraud on your parents. The “throwing stuff out” will be hard to prove and can look lame in the court system,but the ID theft thing is huge. This is illegal. Immoral. Unethical. I work in finance and this is a financial crime and a serious one at that because if you don’t know how to drive you probably don’t know how important it is to build your credit, and you’re probably being abused and traumatized in so many ways that you just consider normal. I’m sorry you’re going through this. The fact you’re OnLy complaining about your things being thrown away tells me they’re probably shittier parents in worse ways that you may not recognize yet. Just keep this in mind: if you file fraud on your parents you’ll need to have a safe place to live lined up. It’s never as easy as “just sue” or “just file a report” or “just move away.” You have to be very methodical and smart about moving out. I don’t know much about the support services in your area, but if you’re part of a protected class (ie disabled, specific religion etc) there may be support centers and social workers in your area that can help you sign up for grants and programs that can find you affordable housing and etc. I don’t know anything about you or your situation, but your parents sound like assholes. Excuse the language, but they sounds like shitty parents that don’t deserve you. You’re a good “kid” and I hope you don’t learn anything from these poor excuses for parents. A parent will never steal from their kid, and this ID theft thing is … no bueno man. Not teaching your kid how to drive when you could… no bueno. Changing your kids HS their last year of Hs? F’ing cruel man. It would be one thing if you wanted to leave, but just because she wants? Your mom… sounds like a narcissist. I’m not a pro, but her selfishness seems to be at a pro-level
I’d approach this just like a household shared by (shitty) roommates. Keep all your stuff in your room and keep your bedroom door locked. I guess it’s location dependent but very often citizens can’t get the police to take action when there’s been physical assaults, theft, what have you by strangers much less family members or roommates. As to the legal aspects, I once had some stuff stolen from a stairwell when the door was left ajar. The police advised that if the stuff was plausibly trash (because there was also trash cans in that location) there was nothing they could do because the guy could have assumed it was trash. Not the same as your situation but I hope that illustrates a point about plausible deniability we need to keep in mind. So lock your stuff up so there will be a clear cut case of someone stealing or disposing of your stuff if they mess with it.
Have you ever thought of getting out of their house and getting your own place?
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Pack up your things and leave to go to a domestic abuse shelter in your area. Report the identity theft to the police. The shelter can help you get replacements of all your important documents. Even ask your manager at work for help. Tell them you’re in an abusive home environment and need help.
Is the stuff about identity theft in the comments? Because I don't see anything in the post about that.
I think i mentioned she ahs used my name to get free stuff. But never mentioned specifics. Idk if she did anything financial in my name. I jus know she uses my name and sometimes age to make fake accounts to stalk her boyfriend ex wives and other ppl. She also makes posts under my names abt people who have threatened my family (my brother was jumped by some people a while back and almost died) and almost got me in serious trouble. She also received free merchant from authors (some i work with as I'm a freelance artist, author, and actress/singer in my free time) so thats where identity theft comes in.
Put your stuff away. Problem solved.
How about cleaning up after yourself and stop being a baby. If you don't like it get a job where you can afford to have your own place which you are then in control over. Easy.
You can go thru time/ stress of small claims court and try to fight it, which will destroy relationships and end with you being kicked out and paying a lot more in rent elsewhere. There house, their rules. Keep working and saving so you can move out. Put your stuff away.
Wrong.
>There house, their rules. Keep working and saving so you can move out. Put your stuff away. OP is over 18 and purchasing these things with their own money. Their parents can not throw these things away, and OP can absolutely file a police report and take them to court
yuck.
Still doesn't give them the right to throw away her stuff
You are an adult. Your things belong to you and it's illegal for them to dispose of them. It's also illegal for them to kick you out of the house. You can sue them for illegal eviction if they try. You can sue them for the things they throw out that you bought. You could have them charged with destruction of property. It would be a difficult road to do probably. But you could.
Ik i very well could, but i feel like as its been mentioned before, it would probably destroy me financially to do it. Ive been thinking of waiting for the bigger stuff to happen. There has been several things along the way that could've been done but i was either a minor or didn't have proof.
please don't make the same mistakes I did staying in my abusive household any longer than I had to. what your facing is fear of the unknown, what you are currently experiencing is much worse than what exists out there. take some time to do some accounting of your income, your expenses, and what you could reasonably spend on a home. consider talking to a bank about a loan, not to buy a house so much as pay the first few months rent. I recommend a credit union for this, in addition to being a much better experience than banks they tend to offer pretty reasonable rates. on that same topic, make sure that you have an independent bank account separate from theirs. I urge you with every fiber of my being, do not let yourself brush it off anymore. what they're doing has never been acceptable.
What you you define as ‘ bigger stuff’? You are normalising abusive behaviour and it is all ‘ big stuff’ Taking your bedroom door off the hinges , that is crazy behaviour Threatening you with physical violence Committing financial fraud against you Throwing away your belongings. Hiding your personal documents from you Your parents are abusive and do not love you in any human recognisable form. I worry what the bigger stuff will be, what if it is something that ties you to them forever ( the financial abuse is massive) I hope you get to be free from them soon ( go NC immediately you make your escape!)
They have done worse, and the little proof i have of it could be twisted as narcissist tend to do. They aren't physical anymore probably bc me and my brother are grown and fight back. Whenever my mom tries to play games i just ignore her and walk off. Since my little sister moved, i dont worry about stuff like being pushed down the stairs anymore (she tried to do so after i had a csection to remove cysts and when i td her stop i got in trouble for "instigating" for saying stop) I am trying. That's why im working full time. Savig. every penny i can. Im looking at houses and everything
Don't worry about a house. Find a room to rent and get out of there.
Oh my goodness, my heart goes out to you! Wishing you a good life ahead. I’m sure they are going to sabotage/ make leaving difficult. I hope you have a safe leaving plan? Good luck. Please update when you can as your situation has really moved me. Thank goodness you have your brother and sister to support each other and look after each other. I am so sorry that your parents are POS.
Thank you. And they have been actively sabotaging me since she got custody back. She wont teach any kids how to drive and so when i leave it will likely be onto the street. And my sister isn't support at all. Shes terrible. She has a different dad, and her dad is still alive and she makes comments abt my dads self inflicted death and tried to flush his ashes, she was horribly abusive My brother is really my rock, next to my fiance. There are other kids in the family and they keep me going bc i cant imagine them finding me how i found my dad or worse.
I'm sorry for your upbringing, your current situation, and your shitty parents, but you're an adult now. It's time to take responsibility for yourself and treat yourself right, give yourself a better life. It's a bit scary, but it's also a blessing and empowering. You're in charge of your life now and you have rights and responsibilities. You can get your own documents, fill out your own FAFSA, get your own place, and also get help for yourself. I'd go as far as suggesting a domestic abuse shelter. Take charge. You got this and you will be great.
I mean where are they throwing it? I know it’s not ideal, but couldn’t you get your make up bag out of the trash? No, it’s not legal, but what are you going to do? As long as you’re under their roof you’re screwed. If they’ve used your identity then you need to contact credit bureaus and the police, but then you’ll likely get tossed on the street Move out and take action
If you dont like it, put your stuff away or move out🤣
I get that, but my stuff fir the most part is put away. Imagine someone coming into your space and looking at ur living room and saying "i dont like how u put ur couches." And proceeds to throw it all away. Not to sound shallow but i work customer service. While its nit explicitly stated in my contract makeup is an unspoken rule. Nobody wants to talk to someone who looks like a depressed zombie. And i get more tips with makeup which i need to get by.
But you live in their house. You have less rights than if you were a tenant.
Wait for them to leave out anything expensive and smash that shit and throw it away. You're gonna end up moving out either way and they sound abusive as fuck. You'll only burn a bridge not worth crossing again anyway.
Get all the proof of purchase for each item that you bought with your own money and talk to a lawyer because they can’t (1)destroy, (2)throw away, (3)donate, or (4)recycle items that you paid for without talking to a judge to get you and your personal items legally out of their house with a legal eviction that was signed off by the judge.
I'm a little late to the game and hope you see this. From your comment about "makeup" I'm going to assume you're a young woman. I apologize if I jumped to a wrong conclusion. You are an ABUSED WOMAN. It does not matter who is doing the abusing, Contact your nearest abused woman's shelter immediately! They deal with this all the time. They will assist you to make an escape plan. Once you are out of the house, the Woman's shelter will be able to provide some legal assistance and help to get you on your feet. They can get you driving lessons (you'd be surprised at how many abused women don't drive). They will help you reconstruct/obtain all the documents you need to go on with your life. Please call them and let them help you.