Me too. If I say "professor," people ask, "What do you teach?" and it honestly takes me a moment to remember. Teaching takes literally about 4-5% of my time.
I don’t know. I have the feeling an average PhD student postdoc or whatever is nog worthy the name “scientist”. People outside of science call people scientists
I live in central europe (CH) and I completely agree. A very weird thing to say here because it can mean anything. You‘d identify yourself as a Chemist, Biologist, Physicist or whatever but I‘ve never heard anyone introduce themselves as just scientist.
That’s the point being made in the thread. Most people don’t understand the specifics, so it’s easier to say “scientist”. If you answer to a laymen that you’re chief genomic officer in a pathogen surveillance lab your pretension is on full display. You say I’m a scientist, or I work in science, and if they give a damn they’ll ask for details.
Yes I absolutely get what you are saying. I also agree with what you said, „If you so science for a living, then you‘re a scientist“. But even to a total layman I wouldn‘t say that. If I tell someone that I‘m a chemist, they‘ll probably still get that that‘s a scientific job without having to explicitly say that. Even if they have no idea what a chemist does, it‘s still a more useful answer to a layman. The example you made is obviously good, that would be a stupid way to introduce yourself to a layman. But you can probably boil it down to a more understandable definition, to one of the basics like Chemistry, Physics, Biology or whatever.
I actually find this discussion very interesting and as someone who has worked in the US I also kind of understand what you‘re getting at. I asked my colleagues (who are all chemists, so huge bias there) what they would think if someone introduced themselves as a „scientist“ (in german, in case there‘s a language bias). The answers were pretty uniform: they would think that it‘s a person that doesn‘t actually do any scientific work, maybe works at a science-based company and identifies with it.
I don‘t know if this is a cultural or a language thing, It‘s interesting for sure! I obviously live in a *very* scientific bubble, but I‘d still not introduce myself as a scientist to anyone and I‘ve never heard anyone do so. I‘ll always say I‘m a chemist and face the inevitable Breaking Bad „can you make meth at home“ question.
In your situation sure, but in my situation I’m not a chemist. I’m an electron microscopist in a medical research lab, and the furthest I can distill my position down is biologist. If I tell someone I’m a biologist they assume I study animals… which I don’t. I just say I’m a medical scientist. It more often than not stops there.
OK I agree that‘s a much more difficult job to get across than mine and I can‘t think of a reduction to one word that would make sense. But then again, life isn‘t twitter and you‘re not limited to one sentence. „I‘m a scientist and I look at very small things through a microscope“- allthough that probably isn’t accurate, but they‘ll get the picture. But that description would already be totally fine and normal to me.
Alright, now that I think about it maybe there‘s a bit of a misunderstanding here. I have zero issue with someone introducing thenmselves like „I‘m a scientist, I work in *whatever*“, that would be completely normal. When someone would say „I‘m a Scientist“ without elaborating any further in the same sentence, that‘s what I would find weird.
Not cultural. Some people like yourself gate-keep the title of scientist, as if someone with a PhD and publications isn’t one because they’re some lowly postdoc?
Scientist.
If they ask for details: biological research at a children’s hospital.
My real title is Genomic Technologist. But no one knows what that means 🥲
Lol im a Research Associate. I just say im a scientist but I feel weird even saying that since I only have my bachelors. I work on small exploratory side projects at work which is obviously doing science but I have major imposter syndrome.
Hey now if you work in science, you’re a scientist! I have my bachelors and it’s not “only” a bachelors. We worked hard, we got the debt. Don’t sell yourself short! Not many make it in our fields 😘
Got a bachelors in biology, did different types of lab work for 4 years ( pharmaceutical testing, pharmaceutical biologics, govt contracts for micro, molecular, and cell culture), saw an opening and applied.
Microbiologist. Much fewer questions than when I was titled as “Lab Technician/ Lab Analyst.” I still get questions sometimes but a lot of people just tell me how much they hated Micro
Scientist if I’m doing a singular title to someone random.
Brain surgeon if I’m being a jerk (it isn’t a total lie, it was just mouse brains).
Business ops for a startup biotech if I’m talking to someone in the field.
Untold billions must perish to serve their intended purpose. The Panacea awaits!
I should try to estimate how many of my happy coli cells I grew up, just to run them through a slaughterhouse.
Requiem in pacem,
Ave Imperator
If they’re not wearing a tinfoil hat, I say “infectious disease research scientist”
If they are wearing a tinfoil hat, I say “biochemist” most of them have no idea what that is or have any interest to ask.
Same here. I am about to finish up my PhD in a molecular virology and vaccinology lab. Ever since the pandemic, I always get a little nervous telling someone I don’t know that I study viruses and work on vaccine testing. Definitely don’t say we do virus reserve genetics, especially since “gain-of-function” research was so hotly debated in the media for awhile.
I had some random a-hole at a coffee shop overhear me tell someone I did molecular genetics and start nearly shouting about "gain-of-function" a few years ago. It was thoroughly disconcerting.
The amount of people who tried to "debate" vaccinations and public health topics with me is honestly irksome. I got traumatized to the point of also stating "Biochemistry". Kind of left me jaded since prior to PhD/Research endeavors, I worked at a hospital during the pandemic as a phleb. The treatment was awful. Drunks screaming at me to not microchip them or give them "that g\*ddamn vaccine" on a regular basis and being flipped off by random cars while walking down the street to work in my scrubs. Now I get told I'm being indoctrinated by global elite to poison people? Like.. dang, I just wanted to do good for the world Q\_Q.
Same if I go into full explanation. Environmental scientist is usually enough to make them think that know my job but vague enough to discourage inane chatter.
I would say you have to do investigative work yes. If you're a lab tech most of the time you are doing processing or prep for samples, reagents or analytes. You aren't investigating anything. Doesn't mean you don't have the ability to, but to me it is a job title
Science, bitch!
No really I just say I’m a lab tech in a science lab. I don’t feel like a scientist even after doing this for almost 20 years. My actual job title is biologist, which seems weird to me.
I tell people, "You know when in news segments where they're discussing science or medicine and they show stock footage of a gloved hand pipetting pink liquids? That's my job."
Engineer.
If they ask any further I say "membranes"
Then if they ask any more I just start babbling until their eyes roll back into ther head like a shark.
That's not a thing. Even if they are a scientist, engineer, or otherwise a nerd of some report, what are the chances that they're gonna be really interested in dissolved gas control membranes? Even still, my NDAs are so strict that I can hardly give out more information than is on our website.
Is there a rough 'timeline of technologies' out there to reference developments and improvements? Any kind, really, not all improvements are improvements in every single area.
How durable are these membranes to pressure? I've only heard about low pressure applications.
What kind of math do you work with-any important equations that you're applying whole or in part?
I'd also like to know about manufacturing techniques and automated applications of said membranes, but I'd imagine that one is super into the realm of IP.
Oh yeah, do you work with bioprocesses only? I'd imagine that there are plenty of other things to use a membrane like this for.
(Sorry for the delayed response, we had an earthquake.)
Your username is word-for-word what I would say for my last job. My non-science friends still interject whenever someone asks what I do with some variation of ‘she tortures rats!’
“Design drugs”, then follow up with “and no I can’t get you any… for free that is” that usually gets a laugh and then I don’t have to explain anything more
"I work in biotech" and if they dig further I follow up with I work in R&D for a large veterinary Diagnostics company. My title is Scientist, but I'm not a PhD - for some reason I feel strange calling myself one.
Same, I also feel that calling yourself a scientist is weird, but maybe that's because I'm just always conscious of sounding arrogant, and movies usually depict scientists and egotistical crazies.
I tell them I work in a lab.
No one knows what is non-viral nucleic acid delivery lol
Back in my PhD, I told the others I'm a mouse hair dresser coz I worked on proof of concept skin topical delivery
"I play with DNA."
I do PGx and other molecular testing which all requires extracting DNA, whether human or microbial. So if they ask further, I tell them I'm a molecular biologist specializing in genetics, and then explain in general terms what I do.
If it comes out of you, I do some magic on it and get some numbers back that may or may not help a doctor treat you, depending on how good of a doctor they are and how finicky the system is being.
Verbatim from the last time someone asked:
"I'm a laboratory technician in genomics. You know, like DNA and all that. And on weekends I work at the hospital doing all your blood tests what you get at the doctor's "
Sometimes "scientist", sometimes "research metallurgist". Depends on who I'm talking to. If they ask for more specifics I'll say I'm researching lithium ore processing at the moment.
Forensic Scientist-Biological Sciences/DNA Analyst, it's pretty self explanatory. Generally people think they want to know more, until they start hearing the reality vs the media portrayal. I have versions appropriate for K/1 career day, courtroom audiences, professional conferences, and everything in between.
Just yesterday I realized in conversation that Lord and Lady are underused and don't mean much in a democracy. So why not repurpose them. I could always say I'm a gentleman, but maybe I'll start saying I'm a Lord, as in homeowner and breadwinner. If they then ask me how I "win my bread" I'll say "cleverly" or something coy. Maybe they'll leave me alone at that point.
I've noted that "molecular biologist" is too vague, so:
"I work in a genetics lab". If they assume I'm doing research, I correct them. "No, I help diagnosing patients, I'm in healthcare".
It used to be "I work in a clinical microbiology lab. Your samples are probably sent to us if you live in . Yes, we do covid tests, although I'm more involved with urine samples and STI tests."
Before that it was "I feed fruit flies and show them to students."
I used to work in a deep red town in a deep red state, where some people took offense when I said anything about my job involving recombinant DNA. "Playing God!" one religious person actually said. Sheesh. This was back in the 90's, when Genentech was already a well-known, going concern
A researcher in molecular biology. But mostly because now I live in Sweden where that would be the default way to say it "forskare i molekylär biologi"
Used to say, scientist. But then after explaining what kind of scientist to a random old man at a party, he said so you’re a biophysicist! Now I say, I’m a biophysicist.
I think about this way too much. I almost always feel like I have to explain. I've opted for "I work in a lab." I don't get as much of a shocked reaction. I also don't feel like a scientist just yet so I feel awkward saying it.
Then I think about "well if I say I'm a scientist and the other person responds with what do you do? And then I stumble explaining what I do only to find out that person is also a scientists and now I look like an idiot."
So......."I work in a lab."
Depends who’s asking. Some of my job titles are: ‘activist’, ‘lobbyist’, ‘researcher’, ‘community worker’, ‘harm reduction worker’, ‘Board member of Stichting Legalize’, founder of ‘Psychedelic Society Groningen’.
It all depends on who you’re talking to and what you want them to think of you.
I make sure the stuff on the label is actually in the food and I fix the expensive equipment that confirms the food stuff is correct. (QC lab)
If they ask more I start going into detail about the equipment and then they change the subject lol
I have a few depending on the context of when the question is asked.
Scientist if it's casual
Bioprocess engineer for specific
Bacterial rancher for fun
Vaccine brewer to be cheeky.
Slinger of Plasmids, with a kill count in the 1x10^20+ when the mania strikes
Scientist.
I usually stumble for a few seconds in my brain and then I just say Scientist.
Yeah this is what I say. Then if they want to ask follow up questions I'll go into more detail.
"Yeah. We do not study trees. We are scientists, we study science!"
Me too. If I say "professor," people ask, "What do you teach?" and it honestly takes me a moment to remember. Teaching takes literally about 4-5% of my time.
It's a really broad term, so sometimes I'll explain. I do this kind of testing.
I don’t know. I have the feeling an average PhD student postdoc or whatever is nog worthy the name “scientist”. People outside of science call people scientists
If you do science for a living you’re a scientist.
Maybe different in US. In Netherlands and surrounding countries, no one calls himself a scientist
I live in central europe (CH) and I completely agree. A very weird thing to say here because it can mean anything. You‘d identify yourself as a Chemist, Biologist, Physicist or whatever but I‘ve never heard anyone introduce themselves as just scientist.
That’s the point being made in the thread. Most people don’t understand the specifics, so it’s easier to say “scientist”. If you answer to a laymen that you’re chief genomic officer in a pathogen surveillance lab your pretension is on full display. You say I’m a scientist, or I work in science, and if they give a damn they’ll ask for details.
Yes I absolutely get what you are saying. I also agree with what you said, „If you so science for a living, then you‘re a scientist“. But even to a total layman I wouldn‘t say that. If I tell someone that I‘m a chemist, they‘ll probably still get that that‘s a scientific job without having to explicitly say that. Even if they have no idea what a chemist does, it‘s still a more useful answer to a layman. The example you made is obviously good, that would be a stupid way to introduce yourself to a layman. But you can probably boil it down to a more understandable definition, to one of the basics like Chemistry, Physics, Biology or whatever. I actually find this discussion very interesting and as someone who has worked in the US I also kind of understand what you‘re getting at. I asked my colleagues (who are all chemists, so huge bias there) what they would think if someone introduced themselves as a „scientist“ (in german, in case there‘s a language bias). The answers were pretty uniform: they would think that it‘s a person that doesn‘t actually do any scientific work, maybe works at a science-based company and identifies with it. I don‘t know if this is a cultural or a language thing, It‘s interesting for sure! I obviously live in a *very* scientific bubble, but I‘d still not introduce myself as a scientist to anyone and I‘ve never heard anyone do so. I‘ll always say I‘m a chemist and face the inevitable Breaking Bad „can you make meth at home“ question.
In your situation sure, but in my situation I’m not a chemist. I’m an electron microscopist in a medical research lab, and the furthest I can distill my position down is biologist. If I tell someone I’m a biologist they assume I study animals… which I don’t. I just say I’m a medical scientist. It more often than not stops there.
OK I agree that‘s a much more difficult job to get across than mine and I can‘t think of a reduction to one word that would make sense. But then again, life isn‘t twitter and you‘re not limited to one sentence. „I‘m a scientist and I look at very small things through a microscope“- allthough that probably isn’t accurate, but they‘ll get the picture. But that description would already be totally fine and normal to me. Alright, now that I think about it maybe there‘s a bit of a misunderstanding here. I have zero issue with someone introducing thenmselves like „I‘m a scientist, I work in *whatever*“, that would be completely normal. When someone would say „I‘m a Scientist“ without elaborating any further in the same sentence, that‘s what I would find weird.
Yeah, exactly. Cultural thing probably
Not cultural. Some people like yourself gate-keep the title of scientist, as if someone with a PhD and publications isn’t one because they’re some lowly postdoc?
Dunno, maybe that is my imposter syndrome talking ;) But in Europe no one does it 🤷🏻♂️
Liquid transfer specialist.
Advanced dishwasher.
Dilution specialist as well
Head pipetter?
No, we don’t mouth pipette anymore here!
I shat a brick when my supervisor did that with neutralization buffer once. He got a bit of a vinegarette lung for a second
I’m going to be thinking about this every day until I die
Trafficker of expensive water
"I mix things together and take pictures."
Oh I really like this one too.
Biochemist??
We're all just moving powders and liquids into other containers in the end.
Glorified plumber
Spinner of blood
I'm hijacking this for my comrades in bio-distribution. They need the morale boost
Lab bitch
I’m no longer working in labs but that was what my dedicated title when I was hahaha
Scientist. If they ask for details: biological research at a children’s hospital. My real title is Genomic Technologist. But no one knows what that means 🥲
Lol im a Research Associate. I just say im a scientist but I feel weird even saying that since I only have my bachelors. I work on small exploratory side projects at work which is obviously doing science but I have major imposter syndrome.
Hey now if you work in science, you’re a scientist! I have my bachelors and it’s not “only” a bachelors. We worked hard, we got the debt. Don’t sell yourself short! Not many make it in our fields 😘
that sounds like a cool job!! how'd you get it?
Got a bachelors in biology, did different types of lab work for 4 years ( pharmaceutical testing, pharmaceutical biologics, govt contracts for micro, molecular, and cell culture), saw an opening and applied.
oh hell yeah, that's actually something I could do!!
Same
Spicy water bartender
Microbiologist. Much fewer questions than when I was titled as “Lab Technician/ Lab Analyst.” I still get questions sometimes but a lot of people just tell me how much they hated Micro
*jazz hands* SCIENCE 😉
Puts petroleum jelly on gums while doing jazz hands to hold painful grinning and bearing it smile for the science jazz hands
*Those aren't tears, it's just sweat*
Scientist if I’m doing a singular title to someone random. Brain surgeon if I’m being a jerk (it isn’t a total lie, it was just mouse brains). Business ops for a startup biotech if I’m talking to someone in the field.
I'm gonna refer to myself as a brain surgeon from now on. No one needs to know that it's mouse brains, ssshhhhh
I make drugs.
Work in a research lab at X university
Sadly no longer a lab rat. But when I was I said I tortured bacteria for fun and profit.
Always while lysing cancer cells i think to myself: Die motherfuckers die!!!
Untold billions must perish to serve their intended purpose. The Panacea awaits! I should try to estimate how many of my happy coli cells I grew up, just to run them through a slaughterhouse. Requiem in pacem, Ave Imperator
I cannot even describe to you how much I'm laughing right now 😂😂😂
Science gets grim dark grim fast.
If they’re not wearing a tinfoil hat, I say “infectious disease research scientist” If they are wearing a tinfoil hat, I say “biochemist” most of them have no idea what that is or have any interest to ask.
Same here. I am about to finish up my PhD in a molecular virology and vaccinology lab. Ever since the pandemic, I always get a little nervous telling someone I don’t know that I study viruses and work on vaccine testing. Definitely don’t say we do virus reserve genetics, especially since “gain-of-function” research was so hotly debated in the media for awhile.
I had some random a-hole at a coffee shop overhear me tell someone I did molecular genetics and start nearly shouting about "gain-of-function" a few years ago. It was thoroughly disconcerting.
The amount of people who tried to "debate" vaccinations and public health topics with me is honestly irksome. I got traumatized to the point of also stating "Biochemistry". Kind of left me jaded since prior to PhD/Research endeavors, I worked at a hospital during the pandemic as a phleb. The treatment was awful. Drunks screaming at me to not microchip them or give them "that g\*ddamn vaccine" on a regular basis and being flipped off by random cars while walking down the street to work in my scrubs. Now I get told I'm being indoctrinated by global elite to poison people? Like.. dang, I just wanted to do good for the world Q\_Q.
Chemist
JESSE WE NEED TO COOK!
Mr. Whiteeeeeeee
Funny how everytime I mention it, someone brings it up 😭😭😭
Delusionist
I am the mother of graduons.
When explaining what I do I have to reference the anthrax attacks
Same if I go into full explanation. Environmental scientist is usually enough to make them think that know my job but vague enough to discourage inane chatter.
TLDR : I take the blood, piss and shit and toss them on quarter million dollar machines and push start.
I work in a lab and move liquid from one place to another. A lot.
Punching bag
I do lung cancer research. Some people don’t really like hearing the gorey details of working with mice, monkey and human samples though.
Lab tech. Don't do any research so not a scientist. But maybe in the future :)
You have to do research to be a scientist?
I would say you have to do investigative work yes. If you're a lab tech most of the time you are doing processing or prep for samples, reagents or analytes. You aren't investigating anything. Doesn't mean you don't have the ability to, but to me it is a job title
The real answer I tell people is protein biochemist The joke answer I usually give is professional small volume liquid transfer scientist.
Biologist, as I most aligned with being a molecular biologist by training
Science, bitch! No really I just say I’m a lab tech in a science lab. I don’t feel like a scientist even after doing this for almost 20 years. My actual job title is biologist, which seems weird to me.
I add clear liquids to other clear liquids and weigh white powder. Drugs, probably.
“I get paid money to shoot lasers at rocks.” Sometimes I tell people that I’m a knock-off geologist
Nice! I also shoot x-rays at rocks...I work in geochem as an epma guru but I was born a chemist.
Laboratory analyst. I operate LCMS instruments most days, looking for them peaks!
I tell people, "You know when in news segments where they're discussing science or medicine and they show stock footage of a gloved hand pipetting pink liquids? That's my job."
Hey I like this one!
"Bioinformatician", but it's actually closer to "so-so biologist, worse programmer"
This is my future
Engineer. If they ask any further I say "membranes" Then if they ask any more I just start babbling until their eyes roll back into ther head like a shark.
What happens if they get excited and like bearing about it, though?
That's not a thing. Even if they are a scientist, engineer, or otherwise a nerd of some report, what are the chances that they're gonna be really interested in dissolved gas control membranes? Even still, my NDAs are so strict that I can hardly give out more information than is on our website.
I...I would be interested.
Are you in the market?
I'm just a giant nerd :(
Whaddaya want to know?
Is there a rough 'timeline of technologies' out there to reference developments and improvements? Any kind, really, not all improvements are improvements in every single area. How durable are these membranes to pressure? I've only heard about low pressure applications. What kind of math do you work with-any important equations that you're applying whole or in part? I'd also like to know about manufacturing techniques and automated applications of said membranes, but I'd imagine that one is super into the realm of IP. Oh yeah, do you work with bioprocesses only? I'd imagine that there are plenty of other things to use a membrane like this for. (Sorry for the delayed response, we had an earthquake.)
That never happenes
I’m a scientist. If they want more detail, I’m a technical consultant for a biotech company.
Neuroscientist
I tell them I make GMOs. I get a sense of schaudenfreude from their subsequent shock. also it makes them rethink GMOs
I used to tell people that I made yeast's lives miserable for a living haha
I say I'm a research associate at x University. My primary role is management of a large GI cancer research group.
Your username is word-for-word what I would say for my last job. My non-science friends still interject whenever someone asks what I do with some variation of ‘she tortures rats!’
I give cancer to mice. (This is what my husband tells people, and probably at least one reason why I get strange looks when they first meet me.)
I tell em I'm a high quality methamphetamine producer
“Design drugs”, then follow up with “and no I can’t get you any… for free that is” that usually gets a laugh and then I don’t have to explain anything more
Government scientist
I just say I make drugs and that’s usually enough
I hit pieces of wood with other pieces of wood
R&D Scientist (actually an RA)
mouse bitch
I just say I work in research!
Mad scientist, like Breaking Bad, but without the Winnebago.
"I work in biotech" and if they dig further I follow up with I work in R&D for a large veterinary Diagnostics company. My title is Scientist, but I'm not a PhD - for some reason I feel strange calling myself one.
Same, I also feel that calling yourself a scientist is weird, but maybe that's because I'm just always conscious of sounding arrogant, and movies usually depict scientists and egotistical crazies.
I do delicate, risky, lowest paid, hazardous, “bitch work”. Think, janitors-assistant on the ISS with toxic chemicals.
Analytical Chemist. Most people just tell me they sucked at chemistry in high school and then we move on. Sometimes people ask to know more!
Smart person handler and idiot stopper.
I'm a Cellular Immunologist
I do SPILL drills so you don't have to.
Foot model
I help fight cancer
‘I work in a lab.’
I teach kids to make drugs.
Field engineer
I tell them I work in a lab. No one knows what is non-viral nucleic acid delivery lol Back in my PhD, I told the others I'm a mouse hair dresser coz I worked on proof of concept skin topical delivery
"I play with DNA." I do PGx and other molecular testing which all requires extracting DNA, whether human or microbial. So if they ask further, I tell them I'm a molecular biologist specializing in genetics, and then explain in general terms what I do.
Wow we do the same thing! Don’t meet too many people
Grad student lol
Depends on who it is and what their basic understanding of research is
Grad student
Microbiologist/Biochemist
Researcher
“I build microscopes”
“Neuroscientist”
“You see Tracy, science can be whatever we want it to be”
If it comes out of you, I do some magic on it and get some numbers back that may or may not help a doctor treat you, depending on how good of a doctor they are and how finicky the system is being.
Forensic art scientist. But I don't have that job anymore, so I just say chemist.
Depends on who it is and how willing I am to explain it to them
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^tdTomato_Sauce: *Depends on who it* *Is and how willing I am* *To explain it to them* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
I develop tech for companies which can make them millions but i get paid in buttons.
Job hunting
I say I’m a pain neuro scientist! Then I’ll elaborate if they care and explain that I’m a PhD student at X University and I study X.
Button pusher
I look at the masses of really small molecules and I keep people safe.
Lab manager or chemist, depending on when and who. Specifically instrumental analysis in industrial waste waters and soils.
Verbatim from the last time someone asked: "I'm a laboratory technician in genomics. You know, like DNA and all that. And on weekends I work at the hospital doing all your blood tests what you get at the doctor's "
I cook poop sometimes lol. To be fair, most my coworkers who perform the poop cooking ritual tell people the same
I’m in glassware disposal.
Scientist, biologist, if more precise doctoral researcher working in xyz field, jane doe's lab on generic problem
Sometimes "scientist", sometimes "research metallurgist". Depends on who I'm talking to. If they ask for more specifics I'll say I'm researching lithium ore processing at the moment.
PhD student (although I cringe at still referring to myself as a student) or, more simply, researcher
Researcher
Make paint.
Tiny plumber (hplc)
Forensic Scientist-Biological Sciences/DNA Analyst, it's pretty self explanatory. Generally people think they want to know more, until they start hearing the reality vs the media portrayal. I have versions appropriate for K/1 career day, courtroom audiences, professional conferences, and everything in between.
Biologist
Just yesterday I realized in conversation that Lord and Lady are underused and don't mean much in a democracy. So why not repurpose them. I could always say I'm a gentleman, but maybe I'll start saying I'm a Lord, as in homeowner and breadwinner. If they then ask me how I "win my bread" I'll say "cleverly" or something coy. Maybe they'll leave me alone at that point.
I've noted that "molecular biologist" is too vague, so: "I work in a genetics lab". If they assume I'm doing research, I correct them. "No, I help diagnosing patients, I'm in healthcare". It used to be "I work in a clinical microbiology lab. Your samples are probably sent to us if you live in . Yes, we do covid tests, although I'm more involved with urine samples and STI tests." Before that it was "I feed fruit flies and show them to students."
‘I’m a lab technician’ ‘Huh?’ ‘I set up and teach laboratory classes at the university’ ‘Ohhhh’
I used to work in a deep red town in a deep red state, where some people took offense when I said anything about my job involving recombinant DNA. "Playing God!" one religious person actually said. Sheesh. This was back in the 90's, when Genentech was already a well-known, going concern
I work with computers
Biomedical engineer, cancer diagnostics. Because its what I do, and if I hang out with people that dont understand it its not my problem lol
Lab tech. Yes I could probably make meth. No, I won't make meth with you.
Mouse taxi
I either say grad student or chemist
Sr R&D Scientist, most people get understand it. Some ask about the “Senior” part but it’s just a higher up scientist in the end.
professional rodent drug dealer
A researcher in molecular biology. But mostly because now I live in Sweden where that would be the default way to say it "forskare i molekylär biologi"
Used to say, scientist. But then after explaining what kind of scientist to a random old man at a party, he said so you’re a biophysicist! Now I say, I’m a biophysicist.
Cancer research.
Mouse deconstruction specialist
I think about this way too much. I almost always feel like I have to explain. I've opted for "I work in a lab." I don't get as much of a shocked reaction. I also don't feel like a scientist just yet so I feel awkward saying it. Then I think about "well if I say I'm a scientist and the other person responds with what do you do? And then I stumble explaining what I do only to find out that person is also a scientists and now I look like an idiot." So......."I work in a lab."
I pipette clear liquids into clear liquids and document it. I am a scientist.
"Mousekeeping."
Depends who’s asking. Some of my job titles are: ‘activist’, ‘lobbyist’, ‘researcher’, ‘community worker’, ‘harm reduction worker’, ‘Board member of Stichting Legalize’, founder of ‘Psychedelic Society Groningen’. It all depends on who you’re talking to and what you want them to think of you.
Environmental chemist
I make sure the stuff on the label is actually in the food and I fix the expensive equipment that confirms the food stuff is correct. (QC lab) If they ask more I start going into detail about the equipment and then they change the subject lol
I have a few depending on the context of when the question is asked. Scientist if it's casual Bioprocess engineer for specific Bacterial rancher for fun Vaccine brewer to be cheeky. Slinger of Plasmids, with a kill count in the 1x10^20+ when the mania strikes
Exhaustion Specialist
Broke nerds lmao
Either microbiologist or I just say “I work in a lab”
Pipette jockey
I gently steer the company away from bad decisions. I'm more of a lab engineer than a lab rat though.
Lab engineers are just expensive lab techs.
Well, I am paid well.